A/N: I am not against any of the characters because of Actors/actresses who played their respective roles In the show
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So, sorry for the delay, I had a lot of things going on with my life so I had to put this aside for a while. But yeah, I'm back now and I promise the next chapter will come fast. I will try my best to update as soon as possible. I thank everyone who's been waiting for the chapter. Thanks for sticking on patiently. I hope I don't disappoint you guys. Please give a review. It really motivates me.
CHAPTER 44- LOOK AROUND
Caitlin finished her work and was dropping off a box of equipment in the storage room. She put the box onto the cabinet. She was returning back to the lab when she stumbled across an old photo frame. She picked it up to see. It was Barry, Caitlin, Jessie and Cisco. Right after seeing the frame, old memories started to rise in her head. It was Barry's second year as The Flash. All of them had gone to a club to celebrate their win against King Shark. She remembered all the laughs, jokes and their conversation. It was indeed a fun day! A day she would always have in her heart. She sat down and her eyes bursted out with tears.
"I miss this Barry...I miss our family...I miss all the fun in the lab...I miss your talking...I really miss you... No one's the same without you..." Caitlin said, taking the frame to her chest. She closed her eyes trying to go back to those happy days.
"I miss that too.." Jessie said standing at the frame of the room. Caitlin looked up with tears.
" We were such a happy family..I miss Barry being in my office...I miss the fights...I don't know where he is right now, but I hope he listens to this and comes back…" Jessie said. Looking at Caitlin in this state made Jessie feel really bad. She walked over to Caitlin and hugged her.
"Yes, indeed we were a happy family!" said Caitlin hugging her back, tears rolling down her cheeks.
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"I don't know if we can do this anymore!" An annoyed Cisco said walking in.
"What is this about?" Felicity asked, swirling in her chair in the cortex.
"It's been 5 months since Barry has left us.. The crime rates have gone record high all over Central and National City. J'onn, Nia are working so hard to find Lex.. I am so tired of stopping these stupid meta crimes" Cisco shouted. "Jessie? She's barely coming out of her office these days.. Joe has distanced himself from the labs.. And Caitlin? When was the last time you saw her sleep peacefully?" said Cisco with a worried face.
"Maybe... Before Barry left" Felicity replied.
"Why is it always them? Why are they the only ones who suffer all the time??" Cisco asked.
"Barry,Caitlin,Kara...Didn't they already suffer a lot? Barry lost both his parents and his two daughters. Caitlin lost her dad, Ronnie.. probably, god hope not, Barry as well now. And Kara? She lost all of her planet. She loved Mon-El, who had to leave this world and travel to the future.. and then she loved Barry, who couldn't love her back the same way..and to know that you had a daughter in a now disbanded timeline...That was...That is just…." Cisco broke at that.
"I can imagine how hard it is..Trust me..." Felicity said with a sad face.
"No... None of us have suffered that bad..." Cisco snapped. "Losing people is just a part of our life.. but for them, that is what all their life is about... I can't see Caitlin like this... And I miss him.." He shouted the last part. Felicity took his hands.
"I miss him too..."
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Barry was in a small diner having his lunch. There was a couple in front of his table. He saw that they were arguing about something. To his surprise, more than a fight, it looked as if they were taking care of each other. It took him down to his memory lane. He started reminiscing about all those fights and arguments he had with his Caitlin, yeah ' his Caitlin'. He couldn't stand to sit there anymore. He stood up to leave to pay his bill. He was taking out his money when he came across the photograph in his wallet. He immediately fell back to his chair. It was an old picture of him along with Caitlin, Jessie and Cisco. A tear started to roll down his eye as he remembered those happy moments. He missed them... He missed his Caitlin. He missed having his moments with her.
"Are you okay Son?" The owner of the diner asked as he walked to Barry. Barry turned around to see who it was.
"Yeah, I'm fine Mary" He said looking at the owner who was of his mom's age.
"I've been seeing you for the past 5 months, you always look.. broken for some reason" Mary said sitting beside him. She looked at the photograph which was in Barry's hands. "Are those your friends?" She asked, pointing at the picture from his wallet.
"More of like my family" Barry replied with a heavy heart.
"Can I see the picture?" She asked. Barry passed it to her. She looked at it for a minute. "What happened?" She asked but Barry just remained silent. "You look so happy here... Something must have really happened for you to be..be like this..detached from the world". She saw the hesitation on Barry's face. "It's okay if you're not comfortable to share it. I just wanted to check in and see if you're okay.." She patted on his back and walked off.
"She died..." Barry said, which made Mary stop and turn back to see Barry. She walked back to him. "Five months ago... I lost someone" Barry continued as tears rolled down both his eyes.
"It's okay Barry, we all lose people.." Mary said slowly.
"No..No" Barry shook his head. "She died because of me... I couldn't do anything..."
"Is that the girl from the picture, the one beside you?" Mary asked and Barry shook head in denial.
"Her name was Kara.. she was one of the best person's I have ever known...Her smile..." A smile formed on Barry's face as he remembered Kara "It could lift up any room... She was like a walking bundle of sunshine, laughter and happiness.."
"Sounds like a lovely person.." Mary said.
"Yeah...she had this thing to hold hope even in the darkest times... she was like Paragon of Hope"
"Did you love her?" Mary asked.
"Not the way she did..." Barry replied. "And everyday it haunts me..."
"You can't choose who you love, Barry... Sometimes they choose you" Mary said. "It was not your mistake that you didn't love Kara.. neither was it hers" Mary said assuring Barry.
"She would have been alive... If she hadn't loved me.." Barry said.
"I..I don't know what happened... But I do know one thing..." Mary said as Barry looked at Mary. "You can't control her choices Barry... No one can, except her."
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"Hey Doctor Snow" The Flower guy greeted Caitlin as she brought the flowers. "Have a nice day!"
"You too, Marv" Caitlin greeted him and walked towards the grave.
"Hey Kara... It's been 5 months since...since you saved us all" Caitlin trembled. "The world misses the Girl of Steel... I'm sorry.." with that tears rolled down her cheeks.
She stayed there for a while and then slowly walked towards the car. She was about to open the door when she looked across the lane towards the Heroes park. All these 5 months, Caitlin never visited the park. She had been terrified to enter the park. The reason being unknown. Was it Guilt? Fear? But something was asking her to visit it. She took a deep breath and entered the hero's park. It was set up as a memorial for Supergirl. Caitlin saw many people paying their regards. There were flower bouquets on the symbol. Some held their candles and were paying their respect. With great struggle, Caitlin reached Supergirl's monument. She looked beneath the statue to find The House of El's crest carved in a metal with words written across
"If you seek her monument, Look Around You"
Caitlin's eyes looked around voluntarily to find Alex sitting at a distance. Alex had cut herself off from everyone after what happened. She even stopped working in the DEO. J'onn, Nia, Winn and Lena tried their best to make Alex normal but everyone had failed. J'onn had asked Clark to talk to Alex. Even that went in vain. Caitlin walked to Alex to talk to her.
"Hi, Alex... How are you?" Caitlin asked which made Alex come back to her senses.
"Caitlin... Wh..what... Yeah I'm fine...How are you...what are you doing here?" Alex asked shakily. Caitlin observed Alex's face. It looked tired and her eyes were swollen. She could see dried tears on her face.
"I'm okay.." Caitlin said "I came here to visit Kara's grave"
"I..I can't believe it's been 5 months already..." Alex said, staring at Supergirl's monument.
"Hey, why don't we go somewhere... And eat... You look very weak" Caitlin said but Alex shook her head.
"No.. I'm fine" Alex lied.
"Alex, C'mon!" Caitlin made her stand-up and started dragging her. Alex finally gave in. They both went and sat in Caitlin's car. They drove to Noonan's cafe to get some food.
Noonan's Cafe
A waiter wished them as they entered the cafe. She guided them towards their table.
"Hi, What would you like to have?" The waiter asked. Caitlin looked at Alex to find her zoned out again.
"Please can you get us something to eat and drink which you find good" Caitlin said to the waiter as she nodded and left.
"How are you feeling?" Caitlin asked again.
"I'm fine..." Alex said, giving a small fake smile.
"Look...I know you're not fine Alex..." Caitlin said, taking Alex's hand.
"How do you know that?" Alex questioned.
"Because, I'm not either..." Caitlin said as a single tear started to roll out. "I know how hard it is when you lose someone...someone who's very close to you. Especially when they die right In front of you and you can't do anything to stop...I can imagine what you're going through.. "
"Kara told me about Ronnie... He died a hero.." Alex said.
"So did Kara..." Caitlin replied.
"I should have stopped from going her to that ship"
"Do you think Kara would have listened to you?" Caitlin asked. Alex shook her head. "Kara, Barry...They both were heroes long before they donned the suits or got their powers.. That's their nature"
"I just want her to be my sister...I really wish she comes back... So that I..I" Alex cried at that as Caitlin started patting on Alex's knuckles to calm her down.
"She's here Alex... Kara's here" Caitlin said as Alex looked at her. "Every time Nia talks down a person from jumping off a cliff.. she's there with Nia... Every time Lena builds a device to help you guys fight crime.. she's there with Lena... The next time you save someone, she will be with you... She always has..." Alex slowly rubbed her tears off.
Alex was about to speak when the Waiter came with the food to their table. "Here you go, Sticky Buns with Pumpkin Spice Latte with Extra foam and sprinkled with Cinnamon"
"Thank You" Caitlin said and looked at a shocked Alex. "What happened?" She questioned.
"This is..was Kara's favourite order here..." Alex said.
"Looks like your Kara shares the same taste with Supergirl.." The Waiter said.
"How do you know what is Supergirl's go to order?" Caitlin asked.
"Ms. Luthor told us about how Supergirl loved the food here.. so we wanted to do something in honour of her.. so we named her go-to order as a Girl of Steel special meal.. 40 percent of the money from every girl of steel meal goes to Ms. Luthor's Supergirl Foundation.. which helps the people who have lost their livelihood in Steppenwolf's attack." The waiter said. "Here, enjoy your meal!" The Waiter put their order on the table and left.
"I guess I'm the only one who hasn't moved on... It's hard to let go of things. Especially when all your life you've only ever wanted that...I might have not been with Kara since her birth but I can't imagine a life without her now in it." Alex said with a sad tone.
"Moving on doesn't mean to forget Alex... It means to accept what happened and move forward... Kara would have never wanted you to be like this... Come back to the Living... The world needs you too Alex!" Caitlin said.
"Just like how it needs The Flash..." Alex said as Caitlin's face saddened. "How are you holding up?"
"I..I manage..." Caitlin said.
"Let it out Caitlin..." Alex said, squeezing Caitlin's hands. "You lost someone on that day too" Hearing those words, tears burst out from Caitlin.
"Barry... I don't get it why it's always him... Why does it always have to be him... Didn't he lose enough people in his life already? His mom, dad, Iris, Nora, Oliver... Now Kara and Lexie, His daughter.. someone he couldn't even get to know" Caitlin cried as Alex held her hands. "I understand why he left... I know the pain he's going through... And It really pains me that I'm unable to do anything to help him..." Alex moved forward and hugged Caitlin tightly. "I just wish he comes back, so that I can help him through it... I miss him every day. I want him back.. I need my Barry back..."
"He will... He will come back..." Alex said, rubbing her back and hugging her.
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