Broken Wings
Author's Note: In other fics, I use [ ] to indicate when Japanese is being spoken, but since this story is set in Japan and everyone is speaking Japanese, I will simply use regular quotation marks.
This story begins in March, one year before Eiji goes to New York. In order to make the timeline work, Eiji has freshly turned 18. I know the fandom widely accepts his birthday being in May, but since his birthday is not officially listed by Yoshida, I'm deciding it is March 1st, for the sake of this story's timeline.
I chose to use some characters from Out of Commission, another fic of mine, mainly Eiji's family members. You easily can read this without reading the other, though. I loved the characters I created in that too much to create new family members. Okay, I think that is all I wanted to say for now, enjoy the first chapter!
Chapter One: Faulty Landing
"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Aki asked Eiji over takeout.
Miyuki, Eiji, and Aki sat elbow to elbow at the small, wobbly round table in the corner of their Tokyo hotel room.
Eiji shrugged, "I dunno, I guess," he said lifelessly.
"Dad's very excited to see you compete," Aki smiled. "Miyuki and I are too."
"OH! And I got you this!" Miyuki said excitedly. She dashed across the room and pulled something from her bag. "Here! For luck!"
With a toothy grin, Miyuki promptly placed a bright red omamori in his hands.
Eiji tried to smile. "Thanks, Mi-chan. I'll need it."
Aki scoffed, "Oh, Eiji, you will do excellently like you always do."
An anguished whimper escaped him as he twirled Miyuki's good luck charm in his fingers. "The best of the country will be there, Mom," he whined.
"I know, that's why we're here," She smiled. "You are one of the country's best."
Eiji groaned and slid in his seat so that his forehead came to rest on the edge of the table. Aki reached out and placed a motherly hand on his hair, patting him softly as if he were a small child or a pet.
"I'm so proud of you Eiji. No matter what happens tomorrow, I am proud of you. Even if you come in last, I will be proud of you for getting here."
He muttered, "you're required to be proud of me," in protest.
"No, Eiji, that is not true. Tell me, if Haruto places in anything but first will his mom be proud of him?" She moved her hand from his hair back to herself. "If he does not advance to World's and then the Olympics, will she still be proud? Or will she yell and tell him he didn't train hard enough? Ha," she couldn't help but scoff, "If he goes to the Olympics and doesn't win gold will she still be proud? Or will she say next time he should do better?"
Eiji raised his head off the table and placed it in his hands as his elbows leaned on the table. "Haruto's mom doesn't count. She's never happy with anything he does even though he's the best."
"Really? Well then what about Kaito or Daichi or Yamato or Genkei?"
"Kaito and Genkei aren't even competing in national's tomorrow," Eiji argued.
"And do you think their mothers are happy about that?" Aki asked knowingly.
"...No…" Eiji mumbled.
"Look, Ei-chan, the point is I am proud of you because you work so hard and it pays off. Of course, I am proud as your mother. But I am not proud only because I'm your mother. Many of your other teammates work just as hard as you do and their mothers are only proud if they are the best." She smiled at Eiji. "I will always be proud of you because I know you work hard and do your best and," she reached across the small table and placed a loving hand on his cheek, "usually you have fun. Dad feels the same way. He knows how hard the sport is, he was in your shoes once. He's probably prouder than I am because he has a better understanding of how hard you have to work to get where you are today."
"Dad's only coming because it's being hosted in Tokyo," Eiji muttered under his breath.
Aki shook her head, "Eiji, baby, that's not true. Dad's been excited for months. He bought tickets the second they went on sale and called me right away." Aki smiled sadly, "He told me on the phone that he bought tickets before even seeing if he could get the day off. He said he'd work it out one way or another. Said he'd call in sick if he had to."
Eiji exhaled shakily. "Dad called you about it?" He asked with disbelief.
"Mmmhmm, and he's called me about it many times since. He even has a countdown going."
Tears burned in Eiji's eyes. His relationship with his father had once been stellar. But when he was 14, just starting high school, his father moved to Tokyo for a promotion in his work. The rest of his family stayed in Izumo. For a while, Shun, his dad, visited every weekend. But the visits were hard on his mother and she eventually told him he needed to choose the family or his job. Due to external pressures, he was forced to choose the job. But Eiji and Miyuki were unaware of this, as his mother kept it to herself out of guilt. They were under the impression their parents fell out of love, which made them feel insignificant to their father as well. So hearing that his dad was so excited to see him compete warmed his heart in a devastating way.
"Eiji," Aki cooed sympathetically when she noticed his glazed eyes, "You know Dad is proud of you, right?" She looked at him and then Miyuki, "He loves you both very much, please know that."
Eiji wiped his tears before they could fall. He stood from his seat. "I'm— I'm sorry, I gotta—" he gestured vaguely to the room behind him before turning to walk away. He disappeared behind the bathroom door and let his tears fall.
Eiji was worried he wouldn't be able to sleep that night, maybe he wanted that. Then at least he would have an excuse if he performed poorly. However, he cried for a good while, hidden away in the bathroom, and when he finally emerged, he was exhausted. He found the room empty, Miyuki and Aki had gone down to the hotel pool, so he turned on the TV and climbed into the bed he and Miyuki were sharing. He was asleep before they returned.
And he'd slept through the night. He woke the next morning well-rested but nervous as anything. He forced himself to eat breakfast, he'd be setting himself up for failure if he skipped it. He'd been to National's once before, when it was hosted in Kyoto, but he hadn't competed. He had sprained his hamstring that year and was still healing. He simply went to support his other teammates. Still, he'd seen the pressure they were under. He cheered them on enthusiastically from the sidelines, but inside his stomach churned with nerves for them.
The anxiety he felt now was ten times what it had been when he was only a spectator.
Aki could see his nerves as he readied himself for the meet. His hands shook as he tied his shoes.
"Eiji. Whatever the outcome is, I will be so happy for you," she reminded him again. "I don't care if you place last or first. Either way, I will be so happy." She placed a reassuring hand on her son's shoulder and wondered how in the world her baby grew up so quickly. Freshly eighteen, he seemed to tower over her petite form. "I know nerves will come whether we want them to or not, but you should know that you don't need to be nervous for my sake. Because I will be proud of you no matter what. I'm already proud of you just for making it here."
His team chartered a bus to the event, which was to take place at The University of Tokyo. Parents and family were welcome on the bus as well, but once inside, Eiji sat with his team, though he would have rather sat with his mother.
He sat beside his best friend Daichi and tried his best to remain calm.
"I could hardly sleep last night," Daichi complained nervously. "I kid you not, Ei-chan, I laid down at 9:30." He stared anxiously into Eiji's eyes. "NINE. THIRTY," he said the words slowly with as much emphasis as humanly possible. "And then I didn't fall asleep until AT LEAST 1:30 or 2!"
Eiji's eyes widened in horror. "Daichi!"
"And I wasn't watching TV or anything! I just laid there! WITH MY EYES CLOSED! IT WAS HORRIBLE!"
"Daichi!" The coach's voice filled the cabin, "Quiet down, it's too early for your screaming."
He blushed somewhere between embarrassment and shame. "Sorry, coach."
He lowered his voice and turned back to Eiji, "What about you? Were you able to sleep?"
Eiji shrugged, "Yeah, I— I think I fell asleep around 10."
"TEN!? Man, I'm so jealous!"
"DAICHI!" The coach scolded again.
"Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about," Daichi began, "Everyone knows you're gonna place in the top three. I heard Coach talking, he thinks you're a shoo-in for the Olympic team if you do well today, which we all know you will. You shoulda heard him, man, he sounded so proud. Coach." He said the title as if he couldn't imagine the coach being proud of anyone. "Coach is proud. That's big stuff, man."
Eiji covered his ears as if the information being spilled was Hemlock and he was King Hamlet. "Please, Daichi, I'm nervous enough as it is."
"You?! Why are you nervous, you'll do great! You always do. You've got your old man's blood in ya, after all, and he's a world champ. Placed second, right?"
"Yes...yes, Daichi...and that's why I'm nervous—" he stopped when he saw his friend's eyes. There was no getting through to him. He sighed and rested his head in his hands. "Just. please. I think we're getting close. I just need to focus."
"Alright, alright, you got it, man." Daichi shut up then, finally giving Eiji some quiet.
It didn't help much. He could still hear the other teammates talking about how nervous or excited they were. He plugged his ears and closed his eyes for the remainder of the ride.
When they arrived, Aki gave him one last hug before she and Miyuki went to meet Shun in the stands. She whispered "Good luck, I'm already so proud of you," before placing a kiss on his temple.
When he walked with his team into the stadium, he wished he had horse blinders. The event drew quite the crowd, including several reporters and cameras, all reporting on the event live. Eiji's heart was in his throat. His team wouldn't jump for at least an hour, meaning he was only going to get more and more nervous as he waited. They sat on the sidelines and stretched and kept their muscles warm under their red track suits. Eiji tried not to pass out or throw up or run from the stadium. He could do this. He had to.
He knew his parents were proud of him, but his teammates and his Coach were also depending on him to do well and he couldn't let them down.
Eiji was the last on his team to jump. He wanted to go first, to get it over with. To either fail or succeed. But that was beyond his control. In fact, it was beyond his coach's control as well. The jumping order was decided randomly by the Japanese Association of Athletics Federation (JAAF). He was at least glad he'd skipped tea that morning. The stress of going last on his team was already bad for his intestinal lining.
Everyone cheered as Haruko's name was announced. There were two more guys after Haruko and then it was Eiji's turn. All he wanted to do was curl into a ball and implode but instead, he did what he always did. He warmed up his muscles and stretched, both to avoid injury and for the sake of his performance.
As Yamato got into position for his jump, the coach met Eiji's eyes. "You're up next, Okumura!"
Eiji swallowed against a burning throat. As if he needed the reminder. He shed his jacket and warm-up pants, left only in his numbered tank top and shorts as he lined up for his jump.
"Number 23, Okumura, Eiji!" The announcer called, filling the stadium. "This boy's a real prodigy. Just like his father before him, Shun Okumura— who's actually in the stands today— has perfect form. This is no easy sport, but he makes it look like the simplest task in the world. At only seventeen, he could very well be this year's national champion. Today's results may very well land him a spot on the Olympic team!"
Eiji tried not to listen to the words the announcer spoke. Did he really make vaulting look effortless? It certainly didn't feel effortless. Although, he supposed there was a time when it felt that way. He was in middle school when he first learned to pole vault. It was exhilarating then. He thought back to the first time he cleared the bar. It was a particularly windy day. As his body twisted in the air and the wind blew through his hair, a nearby fountain caught the wind and sent a gentle mist of water against his skin; a welcomed feeling on the hot late summer day. He imagined that's what seagulls must feel like as they flew over the ocean.
But that was several years ago now. Now, in his final year of high school, he no longer felt the joy of vaulting. Now, it was a constant source of stress. He applied to the University of Tokyo. They accepted him and granted him a scholarship for his sport. Still, he had to do well this year in order to maintain his scholarship and spot on their team. He didn't have a choice. And so, jumping had lost all its fun. Now, only the stress remained.
He chalked up his hands and grabbed the pole. A whistle blew and he was off, one foot pounding in front of the other, yet all he could hear was the sound of his own heart pounding in his ears and the very distant awareness of the crowd cheering him on. Anxiety blurred the sounds of the crowd as well as the appearance of the world. That's how things had been lately, he was used to it. Expected it even. He had grown accustomed to the feeling of ever-increasing anxiety as each meet became more and more important to his future.
What he didn't expect was the overwhelming feeling of dizziness that hit him like a train halfway down the run. The world blurred further, his ears rang, and the world seemed to be spinning on the head of a top. He should have stopped, asked to start again, or withdrawn himself from the competition. But he didn't. Anxious as he was, he was also determined, so he continued running towards the goal.
The second his pole made contact with the ground, he knew the jump was off. He left the ground like he had hundreds of times before, the whole time fully aware that his form was off, which meant there would be deductions. He calculated the points he would surely lose as he rose into the air.
He began to twist his body to clear the bar. But his form was off and the typical height just wasn't there. His foot snagged the bar and both he and the bar came tumbling to the ground.
In pole vaulting, the aim is to land on one's back upon the cushioned mat, but that did not happen for Eiji. The crowd gasped as they watched the young athlete land quite badly on the side of his foot, which seemed to crunch under his weight as he fell. The sound of his own bones breaking, as he made contact with the mat, rang in Eiji's ears like an explosion. Seconds later, he heard nothing at all when the world went black as the bar he was supposed to clear landed directly on his head.
Aki was out of her seat the second Eiji's foot knocked the bar out of place. She expected injury, or at the very least, a very upset Eiji. He had been much too hard on himself recently. She knew anything less than a perfect performance would upset him. She was racing down the stairs as his ankle crunched under his body weight. Shun and Miyuki were just steps behind her.
Despite her haste, the medics reached him first, immediately loading him onto a stretcher, as the announcers went on and on about how surprising this turn of events was.
"This does not look good for Okumura," they said over national TV, "he's usually so on top of his game, the team's strongest vaulter...We can't help but wonder what went wrong? As far as we know he had no active injuries…"
Aki caught up to the medics as they carried Eiji from the field. "He's my son!" She gasped as she reached them.
They glanced at her sympathetically but never slowed their steps. "There's an ambulance waiting for him," one medic told her.
Aki's vision blurred with tears as she gazed at Eiji's unconscious form. His hair and limp limbs bounced with each hurried step of medics. Her eyes caught sight of his ankle. It was already swollen and purple, bent at an angle that could only be described as sickeningly unnatural. If her blood pressure hadn't been elevated from running and panic, she was certain she'd have fainted upon seeing it.
When they reached the ambulance, more paramedics helped place Eiji's stretcher inside the vehicle. Shun and Miyuki caught up to them. Miyuki instantly began crying upon seeing her brother's unconscious body being loaded into the ambulance. She was young and instantly feared the worst.
"He'll be okay, Miyuki, stay with Dad," Aki said, even though she herself doubted the truth of her words. "I'm riding along," she announced, both to Shun and the medics. Despite their arguments, she climbed into the ambulance. Shun was right beside her. "No," she said sternly, "Stay with Miyuki. Meet us there."
Overcome with emotion, the only response he could manage was a simple nod. He numbly let the medics pull him from his wife and son's side.
"It will be okay," Aki said tearfully as she watched Shun stand in shock, barely breathing. They'd suffered the loss of a child before. Neither one of them could bear to go through that again. And that had been very different. Aki's first child had been stillborn. They both cried for months without ever even knowing the child outside the womb. If Eiji died, Aki was sure they'd all shatter to pieces so small that not even all of eternity could hope to mend.
The doors of the ambulance were too loud when they closed. Miyuki sobbed as the sirens blared and her brother sped away. Someone was wrapping blankets around their shoulders, saying something about shock and staying warm. Someone caught Miyuki as her knees buckled under her weight. Someone caught Shun when his did the same.
