Author's Note: All grammatical mistakes are mine and mine alone. So don't roast me too badly ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. Never have, never will. I simply play in their world.

Reviews: Again, rookie writer just trying to hone her craft. Would love some feedback on how I'm doing.

"Perhaps in a different time

I would have named us hope.

Perhaps in a different universe

we would not meet so battleworn

And I would call us forgiveness,

and not remember us as war."

-Nikita Gill

Rey

I stare at the dagger in my hand and then back to Ben.

He regards me with wary eyes and I have to wonder just how much of my other self was right.

About me.

About him.

I'm so tired of trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong. I'm tired of constantly second guessing myself.

Time to figure out where we both stand. If we really are walking the same path...or just circling each other.

"You said we are a Dyad right? Two that are One?"

"That's right," he sounds suspicious and I'm not surprised, "where are you going with this?"

I ignore his question and focus for once on my own thoughts. My own intuition.

"So if you can access my memories, my feelings," I stare at the markings on Ochi's blade and it feels like I should be able to read them though I have never studied Sith runes, "then the reverse should also hold true."

Ben's skill, his knowledge, I should have access to all of it.

I lift the dagger eye level and concentrate.

Time to take the leap. I will fly or I will fall.

"Rey what are you doing?"

He sounds confused and I hear that slight note of unease and my heart clenches. He wouldn't sound like that if he has nothing to hide.

"Finding out why you're lying to me."

"I've never lied to you."

I look at him from over the edge of the blade and I wish I could believe him. But he's still keeping secrets from me.

"Everyone lies Ren," I tell this man softly, "but I wanted you to be the exception."

A daze in shattered darkness when I no longer call him Ben. The truth is I don't who he is anymore.

Is he Kylo Ren or is he Ben Solo when he's with me?

"Rey..."

"Stop." I strap some steel to my command and watch his hand clench in reaction, "I'm going to get answers whether you like it or not. So if you haven't been lying to me this entire time then you have nothing to fear when I read what is written."

"You cannot read Sith runes remember? That's why you came to me."

He has a point and I might have conceded that point but I know better now.

"Yes and now that you've translated them, I can read them."

The bond is a living presence in my mind, a spark in my soul. I never realized until now that I could feel him so intimately when we're this close to each other.

Now I know and I use that connection between us. His thoughts are my thoughts, his knowledge my own.

The runes no longer look like strange, carved markings but actual words I can understand and I speak them out loud.

"The Emperor's wayfinder is sealed inside the imperial vault. At Delta 3-6, Transient bearing 3-2 on a moon in the Endor System. From the southern shore only this blade tells..."

I stare at the last inscription in confusion.

In resignation. I...I didn't want to be right. I wanted to believe that he had finally chosen the right path.

That he...chose me.

"From this southern shore only this blade tells..."

This was more than just a marker leading the way to the wayfinder. Something about this dagger pointed to the exact location.

I look up at Ren, anger that has nothing to do with dark side thrumming in my veins.

"You lied to me."

He folds his arms and leans back against the wall and lifts a raven eyebrow in my direction. I grit my teeth at his arrogance.

This is Kylo Ren.

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did!" I stab the tip of the blade in his direction, "you didn't tell me that my friends need this dagger in order to find the wayfinder!"

"Why should that make a difference?" His callous words shock me enough that I take a step back from him, "the only information you cared about was the coordinates. Did I lie about that?"

"No," I shake my head and there is only bitterness now, "you didn't. But you deliberately held back. I sent my friends on a mission that they have no hope of completing without this dagger."

"It was futile from the start. You should have realized that Rey."

I snap my head up and he sighs and walks towards me. The melancholy is back in his eyes and I hate that I put it there just as much as I hate how much I still ache for this man.

He's Kylo Ren, just as my other half warned me.

He's been manipulating me the entire time and I...I let him.

Because I...I...

His hand lifts to my face and I slap it away. He confuses me every time he touches me because he feels like Ben.

But he's not.

"No! You don't get to touch me!"

I back away and I see my rejection break though his calm.

Better to be angry. To bury the guilt beneath the rage.

"What are you doing?"

He sounds confused and...hurt. It's the hurt that makes my heart quiver and I refuse to acknowledge the lump in my throat, the burning in the back of my eyes.

"Leaving."

I give him no other explanation and bolt for the door, the dagger in my grip.

"Rey!"

I feel a surge in the Force and counter it, thrusting out my hand before he can block my escape. The metal door screams as it crumples beneath our combined power.

I slip through the opening, snagging my tunic and rip it loose with a snarl. I ignore the burning sensation on my side.

It's nothing. I have to get off this ship before we make the jump to lightspeed and to Exegol.

Personnel in the halls and I scatter them in my wake, thrusting out my hand and slamming bodies into walls. I don't have time to be delicate or considerate.

Time is no longer on my side. I'm racing against the clock now. The Steadfast can't make the jump to Exegol until they reach the edge of the Outer Rim and head for the Unknown Region. The Star Destoyer is too massive to make a blind jump, even with the coordinates the wayfinder will provide.

I have no idea what Ren did with Darth Vader's wayfinder and that's a mistake I'm going to have to live with. I can't stop the Steadfast from going to Exegol. I can get to Poe and Finn and help them claim the emperor's wayfinder and stop the extermination of the free worlds.

I don't know how long it will take for Ren to alert his Stormtroopers of my escape so I take the quickest route to the nearest hanger.

I know the Steadfast like I know the X-Wings I work on. After all, this is Ren's flagship and that knowledge guides me as I dodge patrols.

The hanger door is open and I run full speed, saber in hand as guards raise their blasters to stop me.

"Get out of my way!"

I make a sweeping motion with my other hand. Five Stormtroopers slam into the far walls, clearing my path to the nearest TIE.

Using the Force was somehow getting easier for me and I don't dwell why that is. I have more than enough to deal with at the moment.

A whisper in the Force, adrenaline lacing my blood and my body moves instantly. I twist, raising my saber to guard my left side just as a blaster bolt bounces off.

I don't have time for these wharf-rats. Chewie and the others are going to be in big trouble if I don't get the hell out of here and back to them.

Again I thrust my hand out but this time at the TIE and hear the decompression as the cockpit hatch releases.

The stink of ozone and I dive out of the way as an energy bolt goes directly over my head that would have hit me if I had been standing.

Their shots are becoming more accurate.

Great for them, trouble for me.

A feathered caress in my mind, swirling darkness with an icy kiss that twines around my soul and I shiver.

The ache of desire hasn't left me. I still want him with a need that leaves me breathless.

Ren is too close and I can't afford to be distracted by him now.

I can't waiver. I'm done listening to my heart.

He doesn't love me. He never did. He's just using me.

I repeat the words harshly and scramble for the TIE. I close the cockpit just as Ren enters the hanger.

Blaster bolts all around me but I've already activated the shielding. There's no way they can penetrate this hull with so little firepower.

There is a wild, feral look in his eyes when our eyes clash and I feel my pulse jump in recognition. The darkness that lives in him also resides in me and even now I can feel regret taking hold.

I don't want to leave him. There is still a part of me, the biggest part, that wants to believe him.

In us.

But I can't stay and I look away so that he cannot see my vulnerability and use it against me.

The TIE comes to life and I turn her guns on the closed door.

You're running again.

My throat closes when his words caress my mind. I touch his mind because right now I have no voice.

Not running. Taking a stand. For the Resistance. For my friends.

My finger lands on the trigger. One shot is all it will take and I'll be free.

You speak to me of lies and yet here you are, doing the same thing.

My hand shakes and I bite my lip.

Damn him!

I never lied to you Kylo Ren.

I press the trigger and blow out the door. Warning lights go off and stormtroopers are blown away by the releasing pressure. Ren alone keeps his stance.

You took my hand. You promised to stay by my side and where are you now?

A single, scalding tear slides down my face. Desperate words tinged with the same longing I felt when I was poised to leave only hours ago.

I scrub it away. It's not real. He's just trying to manipulate my emotions.

So we both lied, I feel him recoil as I snap my reply out, you hurt me and I hurt you. Guess that makes us enemies again.

I jerk back on the controls and the TIE roars to life.

Rey! This isn't over between us!

No it's not.

If you follow me Ren, you better be prepared to kill me. You are a Sith and I...I am a Jedi.

I snap the shields around my mind, blocking him out and feel as though I've cut a part of myself away.

I gasp, sucking in a harsh breath. I had forgotten how much it hurts to block him.

I guess he was telling the truth about some things after all.

A Dyad in the Force.

But no longer.

The TIE screams out of the Destroyer and now there is nothing but a field of stars in my path.

I have to hurry before they can fire their cannons at me or send out other TIE's to bring me back.

I punch in the coordinates the dagger laid out and a name is displayed on the star charts.

Kef Bir.

That is where my friends have gone and that is where I must follow.

Don't come after me Ren. Please, for once...let me go. I don't want to kill you.

This isn't some storybook legend where the villain falls in love with the hero and they can be together in the end.

This is real life and it's time I put aside the fantasy.

Kylo Ren and I...we were never destined to be together.

This is the way it was meant to be.

Tears stream down my face as I jump into lightspeed.

They will be gone by the time I reach Kef Bir. But for now I just let the hurt and the pain wash over me.

Oh gods Ben...why did you lie to me?