As usual, it has been far too long since I've updated this story. This chapter…didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it to, but despite that I'm still rather pleased with it. Please let me know what you think, and don't be afraid to get critical. Enjoy!

Chapter Nineteen: Painful Truth

"Ruby?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I kept my eyes focused on a fallen leaf under one of the trees.

"Ruby."

The leaf had some brown patches and holes in it, but the rest of it was still a vibrant green.

"If you don't want to talk, at least eat something."

The brown spots around the holes in the leaf looked a bit like dried blood around a wound. A wound that wouldn't heal. Couldn't heal, because the leaf was dead. Just like Cole. Just like Jazz. Just like so many other people from Northern Star whose names I didn't know.

"Ruby…please…"

I turned my head just a bit so I could look at Weiss. She was paler than I'd ever seen her. Her eyes were full of worry. A part of me knew I should listen to her, talk to her. A part of me wanted nothing more than wrap my arms around her again and bury myself in her hair and never let go. But instead, I just looked away. The sadness that had overwhelmed me when I heard Cole's name when I'd been reunited with Weiss had been replaced with the same hollow numbness I'd felt for most of the day since Yang and Blake pulled me away from the Goliath.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Weiss stand up and slowly walk back to Yang, Blake, and Uncle Qrow. I felt their eyes on me. I felt their pity, their compassion, their love. I felt their powerlessness. I felt all of it, and I hated it. I clenched my fists, unclenched them, then clenched them again. What good could their compassion do now? What good had my desire to be heroic done for anyone? Northern Star was in ruins. Dozens of people, maybe hundreds, had died, and I hadn't been able to do anything for them. I couldn't even scratch that Goliath. What had Professor Ozpin been thinking when he sent us on this mission?! If he'd just sent someone more powerful, then maybe…

But could all of this really have been prevented? After all, this was a Grimm attack. I couldn't be certain if the White Fang had had anything to do with it at all. But Mr. Bluefield had said the White Fang had a plan for Northern Star. For there to be a Grimm attack now was too coincidental for it not to have anything to do with the White Fang, wasn't it?

I heard the voices of my friends getting louder and turned my head towards them, only half-interested in what they were saying. Weiss and Yang faced each other. They both looked angry.

"This isn't the time for your stupid jokes! Can't you just be serious for one single day?!" Weiss said, holding up her finger in emphasis. "Do you have any idea how many people died today?!"

Yang's eyes flared red and she took a step towards Weiss. "Oh, stop being so high and mighty. Do you really think I don't know how serious this is?! And so what?! What good would it do for me to dwell on it?! I crack jokes about all of this because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to deal with it! Or would you rather see me becoming a catatonic zombie just like Ruby?!"

Her eyes widened, horrified, as soon as she'd said that, and when I leapt to my feet she turned to me. "Rubes…I didn't…"

"Shut up."

She fell silent immediately. I felt sick, angry, hurt, violent…but I didn't move. She was right, wasn't she? I'd just been sitting here, doing nothing, staring off into the distance. Some leader I was. I couldn't blame Yang for what she had said.

"Ruby, I'm sorry, I…"

I shook my head. "No. Don't be. Just leave me alone."

I turned around and began to walk away. I had no idea where I was going. All I knew was that I didn't want to be there anymore. I could hear them calling my name, and I knew that Weiss wanted to come after me, but I also knew that Uncle Qrow would stop them.

Once, a long time ago, I'd gotten into a fight with Yang too. It was over something small and unimportant, and just like now I'd walked away. Both Dad and Yang had wanted to come after me, but Uncle Qrow had told them not to. At least, that's what he told me when I came back that night. I'd spent all day at Mom's grave, just staring out over the sea and talking to her about how much I hated Yang. I didn't, of course, not really. I could never, never hate her. Not then, and not now, either. When I came home, Yang apologized a thousand times, but my anger was long gone so I told her it was fine.

And so, knowing that this time would be the same, I kept walking into the perfectly kept park, between the evenly-spaced trees and the low, square hedge that served to keep people on the paths. The silence was refreshing. The refugee 'camp' wasn't exactly noisy; not like a city street or the halls of Beacon, but there was still a constant background noise of voices. Here, deeper in the park, there was no sound other than my footsteps and the soft rustling of the leaves. I knew that there might be Grimm around, but I was half hoping I'd run into some. I needed to blow off some steam badly, and some Beowolves or Ursai would do just fine.

I just couldn't believe how badly I'd messed up everything so far. I hadn't even been able to save everyone from the small group of people we'd run into, which made me a terrible Huntress. I'd hurt Weiss by ignoring her and being a 'catatonic zombie', which made me a terrible girlfriend. I'd walked away instead of talking out my problems, which both made me a terrible sister and a terrible leader. Just great. What else could I do wrong today?

Before I could come up with more ways to tear myself down, I reached a building. Just like everything else in Atlas, it looked stern and sterile. It was two stories high and seemed to be a perfect cube. Each floor had one single window going all the way around the building. A low chain fence and fake grass surrounded the walls, and the path I was standing on led directly to the door, which was made of glass.

From what I could tell, the building was empty. No lights were on, at any rate. I walked closer to the door, and it slid open noiselessly when I stood in front of it. I hesitated for a moment. What if a whole bunch of Atlesian Knights was going to attack me for entering the building? Then I decided that I didn't care. If I was attacked, I'd turn them into scrap metal, much as it would pain me to damage such beautiful weapons.

I stepped into the building, one hand on Crescent Rose just in case I'd have to fight, but nothing happened other than the lights coming on. Directly in front of me, I saw a staircase leading up. To the left of the stairs were some elevators, while there were restrooms on the right. Those would probably be handy for the people in the camp, and I assumed Weiss would tell everyone about this building at some point.

I was surprised this building hadn't been turned into the main refugee gathering point yet. Even if Weiss was afraid there might be Grimm here, wouldn't it have made sense to at least come and check? But maybe she just hadn't thought of it because of me being a zombie. If that was true, it was even my fault that the refugees had to be uncomfortable. Still, seeing me head off in this direction would probably jog her memory, so I probably wouldn't get much time to myself before everyone else would start to come in.

Since the corridors to my left and right seemed completely empty and featureless, I decided to go upstairs. The higher floor had mostly the same layout as the lower one. The stairwell and restrooms were in the center, and a corridor went all around the building. In this corridor, however, there was a sign hanging from the ceiling which had 'Hall A' and 'Hall B' written on it, with arrows pointing in the right directions. I was surprised to see that there was also another staircase going up.

Assuming it led to the roof, I decided to go up further. Maybe I'd be able to see something interesting from the roof, even though I didn't think the building was all that much higher than the trees in the park. At the top of the stairs, there was a door. Unlike the one downstairs, this one didn't open on its own, but when I tried the handle it wasn't locked. I stepped out onto the roof.

The roof had a metal railing going around it to keep people from falling off. Four squares of the same fake grass I'd seen around the outside of the building took up most of the space on the roof, while a path of smooth white stones ran between them. Lounging chairs were spread around the railing, with small tables in between them.

To my surprise, the building turned out to actually be quite a bit higher than the trees, and the view was absolutely amazing. In the distance, I could see the sun beginning to set beyond the frozen wastes that lay west of Northern Star. I could see the sheer cliffs and a small glimpse of the ocean below.

Much farther west, way beyond the horizon, were the 'wings' of Perditus. Many of the legends I had read about brave warriors and their heroic deeds had taken place there. Many people today called it 'the Lost Continent', but I didn't really know why. The southern parts weren't that far from Sanus, not farther than Anima was, at any rate, and closer than Solitas.

But there were no kingdoms on it, nor had it been settled by the Faunus like Menagerie. Everyone I'd ever asked about it had just said that the Grimm ruled there and refused to speak more of it. I guess that's why so many stories were set there. Nobody could say that the stories were wrong, because nobody ever went there. I wished that I could be like the heroes in my stories. No matter what they had to face, they'd always come through in the end. Today, I definitely hadn't.

I walked over to the other side of the roof. I could see the columns of smoke still rising from Northern Star, although the village itself was too close to the hill for me to be able to see it. I could, however, see Atlas in the distance. More airships hovered above the city now, and they flew much lower than they had before. The city looked ready for war. I could see small specks moving around in the sky, probably drones still hunting down the remaining Nevermores.

I hoped that the other people from Northern Star, the ones we hadn't been able to get to the park, had made it to the city itself okay. I told myself that they had, but a nagging voice inside my head kept telling me I was being naïve.

"Not very pretty, huh?"

I turned around to face Uncle Qrow. His sudden appearance didn't surprise me; he'd always been good at suddenly popping up behind me.

"I couldn't do anything," I said softly.

"Hey now, I wouldn't call saving a bunch of people 'not doing anything'," Uncle Qrow replied.

"I couldn't kill the Goliath. I couldn't…I couldn't save everyone," I said through gritted teeth.

Uncle Qrow put his hands on my shoulders and grabbed them firmly. I looked up in surprise. His intense glare seemed to pierce right through me.

"Ruby, listen," he said. The laid-back tone he usually used had been replaced by a much harsher one. "I'm sure Oz is going to have my head for telling you this, but this is something you need to hear."

I shifted uncomfortably. Uncle Qrow still held my shoulders as if he was afraid I'd suddenly run away or something. What could possibly have him this anxious?

"Do you know the success rate for missions?" he asked.

I cocked my head quizzically. "Around ninety-one percent, right?" I replied.

He shook his head. "That's the figure everyone gets told. It's based off of the missions that take place inside the kingdoms or along well-protected areas. A large group of missions is excluded from the calculation. That type of mission is exactly the one you would want to go on. Hunting missions. Fighting large numbers of Grimm and killing them to protect people."

I shook my head in confusion. "Isn't that the main purpose of Huntsmen? To protect people from the Grimm?"

Uncle Qrow nodded with a bitter look on his face. "Exactly. Doesn't that make you wonder why the missions that gave Huntsmen their name aren't actually counted when people mention the success rate?"

Slowly, I nodded. I felt my heart speeding up. I was certain I wasn't going to like what Uncle Qrow was going to tell me next.

"The reason is simple. Hunting missions have a success rate of fifteen to twenty percent. In the other cases… Usually it's the client who dies, but occasionally the Huntsmen die as well."

I felt like my heart was turning into ice, but Uncle Qrow wasn't done yet.

"If you add those missions into the calculation, you get a success rate of around thirty-four percent. That's really not a lot. Now, what do you think would happen if the people knew how unlikely it actually was for a Huntsman to actually be able to help them or protect them?"

I looked away from Uncle Qrow, thinking. "Well…they…they'd lose faith in the Huntsmen," I began.

Uncle Qrow nodded. "And that would lead to?" he asked.

I frowned. If people had less faith in Huntsmen… My eyes widened as I realized it. "People would lose hope, there would be more negativity, and the Grimm would become more powerful, which would lead to even more people dying," I said.

"Exactly," Uncle Qrow confirmed, "But it's even worse. If people were to lose faith in Huntsmen, fewer people would attend the Huntsman Academies, which means that as the number of Grimm grew, the number of Huntsmen would dwindle."

He finally let go of my shoulders and sighed deeply. "The balance in our world is more precarious than you know, Ruby. It would take only a minor shift for it to tip the wrong way. Oz knows that, probably better than anyone, and that's why he and the other Headmasters like James Ironwood carefully control the information that is available to the public. And even then, their efforts aren't enough. Humanity is steadily losing ground against the Grimm. Even though Huntsmen don't die nearly as often as their clients, and despite the growth in population leading to an influx of students at the Academies, we're still losing people at an increasing rate. If things stay as they are now, humanity will have at most a century left."

I reeled as I absorbed the information. "Why…why are you telling me all of this?" I asked.

"Ruby, as a Huntress it's far more likely that you will fail to rescue people than it is for you to succeed. You will see death, and you will see it often. Protecting a cargo ship on a set route and clearing out small concentrations of Ursai and Beowolves and other missions of that nature…they're the exceptions. Most missions you'll go on will take you into the wilderness, to the many villages and settlements all over Remnant that you have wisely avoided during your journey thus far. The Grimm you'll meet there are far more numerous and powerful than the ones you see close to the kingdoms or on busy shipping lanes. People will die and many times you will fail to save them. That is the reality of being a Huntress."

He gave me a sad, tired smile. "Do you think I drink that much because I enjoy it?" he asked softly.

I said nothing. Was that really my future? To stand and watch while people around me get killed? The horrible, hollow feeling I'd been feeling all day long…would that really become a daily thing for me? That couldn't be true.

My expression hardened as I felt resolve welling up within me. I wouldn't let that be true.

Uncle Qrow must have seen the change in my expression, because he chuckled and said, "Still determined to succeed, then?"

I nodded slowly. No matter what it would take, I wouldn't let my future be one filled with death and destruction. I didn't care if that meant I'd have to turn the entirety of Remnant upside down.

"Good," Uncle Qrow said. "I was hoping you'd say that. Your teammates need their leader…and Yang needs her sister, and Weiss needs her girlfriend, and Blake needs…her…friend…yeah, that ended up far less heroic than I intended it to," he said, putting a hand behind his head as he grinned in embarrassment.

I grinned back at him, feeling a bit more optimistic despite the weight of everything that had happened today and everything I'd just been told.

"When the Grimm over Atlas have been dealt with, the airships will come here to pick up the refugees," Uncle Qrow said. "Your teammates will lead them here soon, so you can either stay here and wait for them or come back with me now."

I considered that for a moment. I was feeling a lot better than I had when I came here, but I could definitely use a bit more time to think about everything I'd just heard. "I think I'll stay here. I'll make it up to Yang and Weiss when they get here," I decided.

"That's okay. I think they'll forgive you," Uncle Qrow said with a smirk.

Raising his hand in greeting, he casually walked up to the railing and jumped over it to make his way back to the refugee gathering point.

I walked to the western side of the building once more. The sky was entirely orange now and the sun almost painful to look at as it sank closer to the horizon. I closed my eyes to try and feel the tiniest bit of warmth from the rays, but I didn't really succeed. Still, it was relaxing, enjoying the orange glow I saw through my eyelids and hearing the faint rustle of the leaves in the wind.

The snapping of a twig down below caused me to open my eyes again. Had the refugees arrived already? But that wouldn't make sense, since they'd be arriving from the other side. I looked down, trying to see if anything moved between the trees. Were there Grimm up here?

I unhooked Crescent Rose from my back and scanned the trees through her scope. I saw nothing but various shades of green and brown, but just when I was certain I'd been imagining things I spotted it. A flash of white between the trees. The mask of a Grimm.

I glanced over my shoulder at the other side of the building. The refugees and my friends would be here soon. It would probably be better if I just waited for them so we could deal with whatever Grimm were here together.

But the conversation I'd just had with Uncle Qrow still had me feeling fired up and determined. This Grimm was concealed between the trees. It wasn't a Goliath. I'd be able to kill it. There might be others around, but I was sure I'd be able to take at least this one out.

I looked through my scope again, but the flash of white had disappeared. I scoffed. Of course it was gone. I hesitated. It really wasn't smart to go after this Grimm. But then, since when was I known as the biggest thinker?

I leapt over the railing, bending my knees and using my free hand to break my fall. I unfolded Crescent Rose into her scythe mode and stepped over the small hedge, into the neatly ordered trees of the park. Slowly, I crept through the park, scanning everywhere around me for any sign of Grimm, but I couldn't see anything. I glanced over my shoulder. I had so many trees behind me now that I couldn't see the building anymore. Again, I realized that I should probably go back and wait for the others, but I ignored my sensible side and kept stalking onwards. The Grimm couldn't have gotten far, and I was determined to find it.

Then, suddenly, the trees ended. Before me, a gentle slope covered in soft-looking grass unfolded itself. At the bottom of the slope, the grass began to display patches of snow, until eventually the snow completely covered it. That was probably the point where the Dust the people of Atlas had laced the ground with ended.

I looked along the expanse of ice. I could see the start of the cliffs I'd seen before, from the roof…and I could see a small figure making its way through the snow to an airship. I frowned. This wasn't supposed to be the pickup point for the refugees.

I folded Crescent Rose back into her sniper mode and looked through the scope at the small figure making its way to the airship. It wore a white mask, and I realized that what I'd seen between the trees just now hadn't been a Grimm. It was a White Fang member.

What were they doing here? Had the Grimm attack disturbed their plans? Or had they actively caused the attack to happen? If I ran back to get the others the airship might be gone by the time we got back here. There was really only one thing I could do.

I glanced at my cloak. The bright red would stand out far too much against the snow, so I took it off. I considered stashing it underneath my clothes, but it would only get in the way if I had to fight. With pain in my heart of the sort you'd usually only feel when saying goodbye to a dear friend, I stashed my cloak in a shrub and began to sneak down the hill. I hoped Weiss wouldn't be too angry at me.

And so ends yet another chapter. Again, please let me know what you think. I can only get better by getting feedback!