Author's Note: Second half of batch updates! Hope everyone is in for a wild ride...(insert evil laughter here)

Disclaimer: Don't own Star Wars. I simply like to play.

Reviews: Better than you expected? Worse? Let me know!

"Tell me,

if a person falls apart

alone in the dark,

does it make a sound?

And if it does make a sound,

is it loud and devastating

as a decaying broken heart

when it is finally found?

Or is the sound

a soft strangulation hidden

that we miss all the time

behind the words like 'I'm fine?'"

-Nikita Gill

Rey

Kef Bir. I have no idea what I was expecting when I arrived in the Endor system but a moon that was mostly ocean with little land mass was not high on that list.

I adjust my speed to where the coordinates projected. I don't want to be coming in hot.

Gun fire on my left flank as soon I break cloud cover and I bank hard.

"Damn it! I told you I was coming!"

I've been transmitting intermittently for over an hour to let the Falcon know I was arriving in an enemy craft and I've received nothing but static.

Where the hell is everyone?

Another shot and I dive but there is something wrong with the gravitational pull on this moon and it's too steep and I begin to spiral. The sensors are screaming warnings for immediate impact.

"I know! I know! Shut up!"

I flip the switches, silencing the alarms. I have to concentrate if I'm going to live long enough to see my friends.

I didn't run from Kylo Ren to the other side of the Outer Rim to die like this.

"Falcon this is Rey! Do you copy?"

I yank hard on the controls, the metal heating as sweat drips down the side of my face.

This was going to be close and I brace for impact as I hit the button releasing the vents to slow my descent.

Screaming metal when the belly slams into the ground. My head smacks the console before the straps tighten in unbearable pressure around my sternum and shoulders.

"Shit! Damn it that hurt!"

I swear as my head throbs and I stop moving.

"Enemy fighter we have surrounded! Come out with your hands raised or we will open fire!"

I blink, my eyes watering from the pain as a curt, feminine voice calls out to me.

That was no voice I recognized and I wonder if my crash altered my projected path.

"Enemy fighter we read life signs. Come out or we will destroy your ship!"

"You mean what's left of it right?" I mutter as I quickly unhook the harness from my body. My muscles feel bruised as does my sternum but I'm alive.

So I guess I should be lucky that I'm only bruised and not dead.

There is an ache in my side that's been there since I escaped the Steadfast but I'm sure it's nothing.

I pop the hatch and make sure my saber is accessible. I don't know what I'm about to face out there.

"Don't shoot," I call as I climb out of the cockpit, "I'm not the enemy!"

Waves crash against the shoreline, the deafening howl of the wind as cold spray hits my skin.

I look down to see at least five figures riding strange, four footed creatures.

They're shaggy, gray things with long coats and white tusks that protrude from their snout. Odd, white markings on their brow that look man made.

"You there," I see the leader pointing some kind of weaponized bow in my direction, "I want your rank and name now!"

"My name is Rey! I'm not with the First Order!"

The leader, a dark-skinned woman with a profusion of wild, spiraling black curls pushes her visor off of her face and stares up at me.

"Rey? Did you say Rey?"

She sounds surprised and since she hasn't shot me I guess I'm safe for now.

Speaking from a burning wreck wasn't the best way to hold a decent conversation.

"I'm coming down so don't shoot!"

"Get the grappling hooks and we'll-"

She turns, issuing orders to the others who came with her but I don't need help.

I jump, tucking my body and make a controlled dive so that I land feet first, using the Force to negate the impact.

My side is burning now. I must have one hell of a bruise when I shoved my body through that crumpled door.

I hear a low whistle and look up at five astonished pairs of eyes staring at me.

The leader is already off her mount, her bow aimed straight at my heart.

I'm pretty sure I can deflect whatever she shoots at me but I'm not here to make enemies.

I lift my hands in a air.

"I told you I'm not your enemy."

"You just crawled out of an imperial TIE and jumped fifteen meters without any sort of equipment. I'll decide if you are an enemy or not."

"Look," my temper is building and I'm not going to stand here all day trying to prove myself, "I came here to find my friends. So just let me be on my way. I don't want to hurt any of you."

"Uh huh," the dark-eyed woman doesn't drop her stance, "and how do I know you're not some First Order spy sent to bring us back? I'll tell you now none of us are returning. Ever."

"Fine! Great!" I put my hands on my hips and glare at this woman who isn't listening to me, "I don't care! I just want the crew of the Millennium Falcon. Poe Dameron? Finn?"

I wonder if I'm going to have to use my lightsaber to convince her when she blinks and lowers her weapon.

"Wait...did you say Finn? As in Finn from the Resistance?"

"Yes! That's," my brain finally catches up with my mouth, "wait I never said anything about them being with Resistance."

"You said you're name is Rey? What's your last name?"

Gods why does everyone ask that damn question!"

"I don't have one," I can't help being defensive, "just Rey."

"What planet are you from?"

This is starting to feel like an interrogation.

"Jakku."

I fold my arms across my chest. "Are we done with the twenty questions? I really don't have time for all of this right now. So either fight me or let me go."

The woman smiles and drops her bow and I don't feel the least bit reassured.

She turns to another person clad in what looks like some waterproof gear.

"Forten! Go and get our guests."

The rider nods their head and take off at fast gallop that surprises me. The speed of that animal is impressive.

She's back to facing me, her bow loose at her side yet the way she moves I can tell she'll have it aimed at me in seconds if I so much as breathe wrong.

"If you are who you claim to be I might be able to help you."

"Excuse me?"

"You'll soon find out. Stay put."

"I don't have time for-"

"REY!"

I snap my head up at the familiar voice and relief washes over me.

"Finn!"

Finn jumps off his mount and runs right at me.

I throw my arms open just as he crushes me in a hard embrace.

He smells like raw fish and damp mildew and I couldn't be happier. It feels like months have passed since I last saw him.

He pulls back and I see a cut over his left eye that looks barely healed. Dark shadows beneath them tell me that he probably hasn't slept in hours, if not days.

Guilt, my ever-present shadow, grips my heart.

"Rey! How did you get here?"

I shrug my shoulders and step back. His crushing hug did nothing to ease the pain in my banged up body.

"I escaped and stole a TIE," I jerk my thumb at the wreck behind me, "followed the coordinates and came here."

Now that I know he's safe, my anger comes back three-fold.

"Why didn't you answer me when I called for you guys on the Falcon? I was shot out of the air! That was some greeting I received."

Finn looks at me and rubs the back of his neck.

"Sorry Rey. We've been out scavenging for parts to repair the Falcon. She took some heavy damage and comms haven't come back online yet."

"I...wait, what do you mean damaged? What did you do to the ship! Where is Poe and Chewie?"

"Yeah, nice that you remembered us somewhere in there."

I look past Finn to see Poe standing behind us with that cocky grin on his face.

"Poe!"

I push past Finn and Poe actually hugs me and for a moment I forget that I'm angry.

We let go seconds later and I see the greenish-yellow bruise below his jawline.

"What happened to you both? Why are you so banged up?"

"Oh you know, the usual. First Order shooting at us when we tried to save a friend, nearly died crash landing on this moon after we realized the landing gears had been stripped."

I hear the angry accusation in his voice and I can say nothing to defend myself.

They did come try to rescue me and I...I turned my back on them.

Because I thought I had been doing the right thing.

"So Rey," Poe gives me a gimlet eyes, "what brings you to the wonderful world of Kef Bir?"

"I," guilt threatens to steal my voice and I push it away, "came to help retrieve the wayfinder."

"Oh is that right?"

I don't like the way he is looking at me and my earlier elation at seeing him alive is quickly dying.

"Yes, that's right. Have you made any progress in finding it?"

He laughs and it is mean sound.

"Sure, come with me."

He grabs me by the hand and his grip is bruising as he practically drags me to the edge of the cliff.

That stitch in my isn't going away.

"Poe! Let go what are you doing..."

I stop, stunned as I look out into the distance at the massive, skeletal structure jutting out of the ocean.

The sheer size and magnitude takes my breath away.

"Is that..."

"Yeah. The remains of the Death Star when it was blown to bits during the last war."

Now I understand how something like that could destroy entire planets. Before it was just a concept in my mind.

If they could make this forty years ago...just what exactly awaited us on Exegol?

I swallow hard and take another step forward.

I hear a noise that's not just the crash of thirty-foot waves against metal and earth.

A whisper in my blood, calling out to me.

Seductive, enticing me to follow.

"Whoa Rey!"

Poe grabs my wrist and I blink. I'm half a meter away from the edge of the cliff that's at least a hundred foot drop into nothing but angry, rolling waves.

"Hey I know you think I'm still mad, which I am by the way, but there's no reason to jump off a cliff in apology."

I look at Poe and despite his irreverent words, I see the concern that darkens his whiskey colored eyes.

He's worried about me.

I should feel happy that he still cares after the stunt I pulled on Kijimi but his worry only adds to the burden of guilt I carry.

I shake off his touch albeit gently.

"I wasn't going to jump. I just wanted to get a closer look."

"Uh huh. Rey you know you're a horrible liar right?"

Before I might have believed that but now...

"I suppose it takes one to know one?"

He cocks an eyebrow at me and I dredge up a smile that I pray doesn't appear as false as I feel right now.

He's giving me that look that makes me feel like I'm being chastised by an older sibling.

"You look like shit Rey."

"You look worse than me. I'm fine."

I thought coming here would resolve the conflict in my heart. Help my friends, find the wayfarer. Save the galaxy and fulfill my role as a Jedi.

The peacemaker. The problem solver.

But all I feel is...hollow.

Like a part of me is missing.

I shake my head and turn away from the ragged remains of the Death Star. I can feel the pull in my blood, telling me to forget everything and go to where the power calls from.

Madness. Utter madness.

"So...introduce me to your friends."

Poe is still looking at me funny but he shakes his head and doesn't argue.

"This way. You'll like them. They're as crazy as the rest of us."

We make our way back to where Finn is standing with who I assume is the leader of this ragtag band.

She grins at me and holds out her hand.

"Sorry about the rough welcome. I'm Jannah."

She doesn't sound the least bit sorry and I study her with reservation. I don't sense any malicious intent but then my judgment has been sorely lacking of late.

However Finn and Poe seem to have taken a liking to this rough looking woman so I will give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Rey and no apologies. I would have shot first if I saw a TIE coming at me as well."

I grip her hand, the cuff on her wrist brushing against my skin.

...Daddy! Daddy help me...daddy...

Dark, ember eyes looking at me, wiping away my tears...

"...don't be afraid, we're going to go back home..."

A silver helmet that reflects my terrified face back at me.

"Your parents abandoned you. We, the First Order, are your family now. Your name is TZ-1719..."

I gasp and yank my hand back. The quiet sobs of children are louder than the crashing waves in my ears.

Jannah staring at me in shock, her fear an acrid tang in the back of my throat.

Finn, Poe and the rest of them are staring at me well.

"What...what was that."

Jannah looking at her hand then back at me, suspicion bright in her eyes.

That was a memory and I wonder if it was hers or the previous owner who wore that cuff.

Somehow I think she witnessed it as well. Odd, I don't remember Ben-

No. Don't think of him.

"Nothing. A Jedi power."

I regret saying the words immediately.

I'm no longer being looked at with hostility but something akin to awe...and shuddering fear.

"I was different from them. From the other Padawans that Skywalker took in. I was more. More powerful...more dangerous. I didn't know what was worse, their stares...or their silence."

Ben's words coming back to haunt me from a conversation we had during a brief Force bond when we stood in that gray area that defined us neither enemies nor friends.

We simply existed with each other.

I didn't understand what he meant when he first shared those thoughts with me.

I understand them all too well now.

I turn away from their eyes and their silence. There is no scenery.

The broken Death Star eclipses all views.

"Just how do we cross to get over there?"

The sooner we get the wayfinder the quicker we leave this place.

I didn't like Kef Bir.

It smelled wrong. It felt wrong.

This moon was nothing more than a grave for the nameless dead who haunted those ruins.

"Skiffs."

Jannah at my side. Her eyes fixed solely on the waves.

I don't whether to applaud her bravery or be suspicious of her caviler attitude.

"We had three. Already wrecked two of them trying to cross those currents. Unless you know exactly where you're going I'm not risking my people or our last Skiff on some fools errand."

Fool's errand.

Just like Ben tried telling me and I hate it.

"It's not a fool's errand," I point at the wreck, anger and something more eating away at me, "the wayfinder is there. It's our only hope for defeating the First Order."

Is this a whisper in the Force or just my own sense of urgency driving me on?

"Yeah we know Rey," Finn next to me, grabbing my wrist and pushing it down as if afraid I might do...something, "but look at it. It's massive and it would take weeks and the entire Resistance to sweep those ruins for an object none of us have seen. I'm with Jannah on this. We can't rush in without some kind of plan. Anything else is suicide."

He was right. The Death Star ruins were bigger than anything I had ever come across in the wastes of Jakku when I scavenged for a living.

But I wasn't here to blindly search. I dig the blade out from my pouch and hold it up to the ruins.

Why is covered in blood? I scrub it clean so I can see the runes clearly.

"From the southern shore this blade tells..."

"What was that?"

Poe in my face, blocking my view. I growl at him and lower the dagger.

"It's written on the blade. This dagger will tell us where we need to start our search."

"Just when did you start speaking Sith Rey?"

I have no intention of telling Poe how I can read the runes.

...soft light, a shadow in my vision and I lift my head to see Ben with a book in his hand. He looks up and I catch his gaze...a fleeting, tender smile on his lips as I drowse in his bed...

I shove the memory back where it belongs, hidden and buried so deep inside of me that it will never come to light again.

He is my enemy now. The quicker I wrap my brain around that fact the less I'll think about him.

"Is that really important right now? I can find the wayfinder, what does it matter how I do it?"

I shove past Poe and dig out my compass and quickly turn due south.

"Is she always this...prickly. I thought Jedi were suppose to be...I don't know...calmer."

Jannah speaking and I pretend that I can't hear her words even though she's not trying to hide them.

"She is. I mean, no she's not normally like this. Rey is the kindest person I know."

Finn rising to defend me and I wish he would stop.

He doesn't know me. Not the real me and if he did...well I'm certain he would be happy to help Poe throw me off a cliff.

I've reached the southern shore and I'm...stuck. It's just another cliff leading to the ocean.

"Alright you piece of filth now what?"

The dagger is in two parts, outer curves at the base and tip but slender in the middle. The handle has a guard, curved upward on each side.

But there is nothing that seems to point to a specific location.

I want to scream and throw it into the sea.

I came all this way, ran away from Ren because this thing was suppose to be the key to finding the wayfinder and...nothing.

What the hell am I doing here? What was I thinking?

I close my eyes and just breathe.

I've been running on emotions for far too long and now I need to stop and think through this logically.

"...this blade tells..."

Maybe there was more to the dagger then what I was looking at. I run my fingers lightly over the surface, not quite sure what I'm looking for and then I feel it.

A hidden notch on the guard, the underside of the hilt.

Gently I dig my nail into the notch and the guard expands, notched edges that curve upward...that align with the ruins ahead of me.

Barely breathing I look through where the tip of the elongated guard comes to rest and I feel the pulse of power singing in my head.

"I've found it..."

I whisper the words, hardly believing that it could be this simple.

"I FOUND IT!"

Poe and Finn run to my side and I'm pointing at the Death Star rising some fifty feet above the sea where a serrated edge matches the point on the dagger perfectly.

"There! That's where we start looking."

"Rey you did it!"

Finn whooping and hollering like a maniac.

Poe is staring at me and the dagger and he is less than pleased.

"Great, so we have a starting point."

I lower the blade and look at Poe, not understanding why he isn't as excited as Finn.

"Poe?"

"Rey let's be honest for a minute. You leave us on Pasaana, deliberately get captured by Kylo Ren and those damn Knights of his. We come to your rescue, despite nearly getting our asses fried by your spooky Jedi powers, and you still turned your back on us without a single god damn explanation. Now you show up, hours later, reading Sith runes that we had to crack Threepio's head open to retrieve and you expect me to say nothing?"

He throws his hands up in the air before setting them back on his hips and glaring at me as if I were the enemy now.

"So yeah, forgive me if I'm just a tiny bit suspicious here."

Guilt like acid splashing through my veins as he speaks, followed quickly by shame that I placed my friends, people who trusted me in such danger.

But beyond the guilt and the shame is a hard, burning core of anger.

I close my eyes so I don't have to look at him. So I don't do something that I know I won't be able to take back.

I already burned one bridge, how many more am I willing risk?

"You're right Poe," I speak the words quietly and the fury pounds through my head as I resist to urge to scream back, "you're absolutely right."

"That's great Rey that you know-"

But I'm not done.

"What was I thinking coming here," I snap my eyes open and I don't hide my rage or my disappointment, "oh yeah I remember thinking that my friends were in danger. That you would be happy to see me. But I guess I was wrong because you, Poe Dameron, have everything under control."

I walk over to him and shove the dagger at him. He staggers at my shove and just manages to catch it.

"Since I'm such a threat to you with my...hmm how did you put it...'spooky Jedi powers'...I guess I will do this like I've done everything else in my life. Alone."

I can't stand to look at him and I try to run but that damn stitch in my side is hampering my movement.

"Rey! Damn it Rey slow down!"

Finn grabbing me by the shoulder and I know I can throw him off and before I can give into the urge he lets go and gets in front of me.

"Look I know that you and Poe don't always see eye to eye on everything but-"

"Not now Finn."

I cut him off before he can say another word. I don't need to hear him defend Poe or tell me how royally I screwed up by giving into my feelings for Ren when I should have left with them.

"Will you stop being so angry and listen to me. Since when did the Rey I know become so closed off to her friends?"

"Know me?" I look at Finn and his poor choice of words, "Finn you've been with me for barely a year and yet you think that you know me?"

I take a step back and shake my head. "Nobody knows me. Not you, not Poe not..."

I snap my mouth shut as his face swims in my mind's eye.

No, I'm not going there.

"Look," I shove my hand into my pouch and grab a band, scrapping my hair out of my face and twisting up so tight my head hurts from the pressure, "I came here for one reason. To find the wayfinder, get to Exegol and stop the galaxy from becoming enslaved. Now you can stand there and argue with me and tell me yet again how I screwed up. Or you can shut up and help and maybe, just maybe we can complete the mission that Leia entrusted to us."

Finn looks at me with bewildering, hurt eyes. I know he didn't deserve the tongue lashing I just gave him but I'm tired of being treated like the enemy when all I want is to help.

"Finn," I sigh and take a step back, "I'm going to do this with or without you but...I could really use your help."

"Fine, let's go."

I blink at him and the easy way he just gave him.

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that. Oh don't get me wrong, I'm seriously pissed and you better believe when this is over you are in for one hell of lecture but," he takes in a breath, "you're right. We have a job to do. So let's get it done. People are counting on us, all of us. Right Poe?"

I turn to see Poe staring at up, his lips pressed together.

I wonder how much of that he heard.

"Yeah...you're right Finn. Rey, I shouldn't have said some of those things. I was just angry and worried and I could have been a little bit more-"

"Tactful?"

He cocks an eyebrow at me. "Tactful? This is me you're talking to."

I sigh and shove my anger to the side for now.

"Fine. Truce?"

I hold out my hand to him and I'm only slightly mollified when he doesn't hesitate to grab it.

"Truce. Now let's catch up with Jannah and get you up to speed on what's been happening around here."

I wasn't so blind to believe that Poe has forgiven me that easily but he is part of the Resistance and his allegiance and loyalty to them comes before personal matters.

I nod my head and let him lead the way.

I'm glad I came back to help my friends but I wonder if I truly belong with them anymore.

If I belong...anywhere.

My eyes look to the turbulent skies and I can't help but search for a familiar black shadow that has chased me across the galaxy.

I told him to stay away because if he didn't he would have to kill me.

Or I would be forced to kill him and yet...

"Rey? Come on, you're falling behind!"

Finn's voice dragging me back to earth and I jog to catch up.

But my thoughts are elsewhere.

If he's smart, he'll stay away from me.

But there is a hidden part of my heart, the one I'm so desperately trying to pretend doesn't exist, that hopes he won't be smart.

Ben...