AN: Some shit goes down this chapter, hard M and all that. Also reviews are nice, I especially love the reviews where you tell me who you think is out of line in the fic. Like legit those ones amuse me to no end, it also gives me an insight as to how my stories are reading, if I'm conveying what I want to convey. Updates from now on will be once a week 3 chapters once a week.
For the first time since she'd been mated, Rachel cursed how small she was as she struggled to keep up with Quinn as she marched her way towards Santana's apartment. "Quinn, I don't think it's a good idea to go in there guns blazing. The only information we have is that Santana has pulled away from Charlie. She's doing her residency which we both know will make her super busy, she might not even be home."
Quinn stopped allowing Rachel to slam into her back and she turned to her mate, "What else could it be? It's Santana and she's always going on about how she wants her alpha to be feral. This is why I didn't want her anywhere near Charlie! But you promised me that it would be fine!"
Rachel took a breath, and gently began to rub Quinn's arms hoping that it soothed her. She wasn't going to bring up the fact that Quinn had been excited that she and Santana were going to be sisters. "I know, but we don't know why Santana abandoned Charlie. I'm just as upset as you are that Santana and Charlie aren't mates, but we can't go in there like Santana would. We obviously need to be the ones that come up with a plan that gets them back together. For Charlie's sake and Santana's."
Quinn took a shaky breath and closed her eyes, resting her head on Rachel's shoulder. "Would you care?"
Rachel's brow furrows for a moment as she tries to piece together what Quinn meant. "If you're asking if I would abandon you if the situation were reversed?" Quinn nods into her shoulder. "No, you're my mate. I love you more than anything in the world."
Quinn inhales Rachel's scent deeply letting it fill her with warmth before she finally pulls away, "I want them to have what we have, but I don't think I can forgive Santana if she abandoned her because of that."
Rachel nodded, praying silently that Santana was the person she believed her to be. She slips her hand into Quinn's holding it, an attempt to get Quinn to calm down. "We don't want Santana to get defensive."
"Right," Quinn says, taking a breath as they finish making their way down the hall to Santana's apartment. She takes a deep breath, as she lets go of Rachel's hand and knocks on the door. She needed to be calm, it was the only way that she was going to get to the bottom of this.
It takes a moment, and just before Quinn is about to knock again the door swings open and Santana glares at them from under a heavy blanket. "Why the fuck are you here?" Santana demands before she bursts into a fit of coughs.
"You're sick?" Rachel said in surprise immediately to take a few steps back. She couldn't be sick, she had a show tomorrow night.
"Deathly. Go away now." Santana said as she swung the door closed only for Quinn to catch it and force her way in. "Go away. You're the second last person I want to see—"
"Did you abandon Charlie because of what happened to her?" Quinn demands, getting into Santana's face.
Santana immediately shoves Quinn a few steps back, "Excuse me?"
"We found out about what happened to Charlie at the trial, well we still don't know any details, Charlie won't talk about it, but we know that something happened to her," Rachel answered for Santana making sure that she didn't step foot in Santana's den of germs.
"So I need to know that you're not the type of person who thinks of her as a—gamma." Quinn practically spits the last word causing Santana to scowl at her.
Santana blinks for a moment, and narrows her eyes suddenly offended that Quinn Fabray had the gall to storm into her apartment and accuse her of being an incredibly shitty person. "Do I look like the waste of carbon that your fucking dumbass twin dumped her load into? I don't think Charlie's a fucking gamma Quinn, I never have I was going to do my best as her fucking omega to get her therapy. If you're looking for someone to blame, why don't you look in a god damn mirror."
"How the fuck is this my fault?" Quinn seethed.
"I think she means Charlie," Rachel whispers unhelpfully before pausing and scrunching up her nose.
"How the fuck did Charlie screw this up?" Quinn rolled her eyes.
"Seriously? Why the fuck would you think this is my fault?" Santana snaps back letting the blanket fall from her shoulders.
"Why wouldn't it be your fault?" Quinn snapped at her. "You think I didn't hear things, I know that you've been sleeping around, what you catch something—"
Rachel whistled loudly causing both Santana and Quinn to look at her, "What do you mean this is Charlie's fault?"
Santana blinked at Rachel, before scowling. "You mean she didn't tell you that she made a deal with my mother?"
Quinn frowned, "What?"
"Your mom hates Charlie," Rachel reminded Santana.
Santana made a face at the accusation, she knew it to be true but that didn't mean anything to her. "My mom disliking Charlie isn't the point, she still found out what Charlie's price was. Charlie agreed to never see me again, why the fuck should I be the one that tries to make things work?" Santana demanded before narrowing her eyes and glancing between both Rachel and Quinn. "Wait—what did she tell you?"
"She told me that you knew and that must have been a factor in you ghosting her," Quinn snaps back reaching for her phone she was going to get to the bottom of this.
Santana rolled her eyes, "Charlie apologized to me, I have the text message to prove it. So can we stop pretending that Charlie's the victim here. You could offer me all the money, power and jewels in the world and I never would have taken that deal. I don't think I'm asking for something outrageous, because I doubt you or Rachel have that price. We were already fighting about Harper, and I know that her crotch goblin is important to her, but for fucks sake I should also be important to her!"
Santana takes a deep breath and both Quinn and Rachel exchange looks, "What could your mom possibly have offered Charlie that would make her abandon you? Charlie, even if she's being stubborn about it, has a trust fund, and given how guilty our father feels, he might just give it to her to manage." Quinn asks, crossing her arms over her chest. None of this had made sense; she knew Charlie, and Charlie couldn't be bothered to lie. Then again Charlie had hidden that she had been sexually assaulted for nearly eight years.
"To squash her criminal complaint, and Charlie agreed probably so it would look good in front of a judge when she fought for custody," Santana responded with a shake of her head, before pausing when neither Quinn or Rachel act as outraged as she feels.
"What are you talking about? Charlie agreed to go to anger management classes, pay a fine , and do 250 hours of community service. Aunt Cass managed to get it knocked down to a misdemeanor, and honestly if Charlie hadn't volunteered to make amends she probably would have just had a fine that we easily could have paid. But she offered and the ADA that had been assigned to the case was surprised and agreed. Aunt Cass was pissed, but I thought she was attempting to do the right thing and make amends so I didn't think anything of it," Quinn responds.
"She apologized, I still have the fucking text." Santana said, grabbing her phone to show Quinn, she had muted her conversation with Charlie after the apology text, and she hadn't been aware that Charlie had texted her a few times, she paused for a moment. There had only been a few texts from Charlie, usually weeks apart but they had stopped months ago. She had passed her GED, one where she was worried about Harper's cough and had asked if they could meet so she could take a listen, but she hadn't responded to anything and eventually Charlie had gotten the message and had stopped texting. "See."
"All I see is that Charlie said I'm sorry. She didn't actually say for what," Quinn pointed out, before simply deciding to call her twin. She hesitates for a moment, Charlie was avoiding everyone right now and she doubted Charlie would answer her phone so she calls her mother, who picks up after a moment, and places the call on speakerphone. "Hey mom is Charlie there?"
'Yes, we're on our way to the park.' There was a pause, and she can practically hear her mother glare at Charlie willing her to speak.
'Quinn.' Charlie's voice came after a moment.
Quinn rolled her eyes, "Do you remember Santana's graduation?'
'Yes.'
Quinn took a deep breath, if she yelled at Charlie and Harper began to cry, she had a sneaking suspicion that Charlie would use that as an excuse to block her for a few months until she needed a favor. "Did you have a conversation with Santana's mom?"
'Yes.'
Santana shot a triumphant look at Quinn, suddenly realizing that just hearing Charlie's voice seemed to be enough to make her not feel like death. "See," she mouths quietly.
"And you made a deal with her?"
'No.'
Immediately the smug smile on Santana's face falls, but before she can say anything Quinn presses forward. "What was the deal?"
Charlie sighs, like she really doesn't want to be having this conversation. 'She offered me 2 thousand dollars a month to break up with Santana. I said no. If that's all—'
"Then why did you apologize?" Santana blurts out causing Charlie to fall silent.
There is a pause and rustling is heard from the phone, before Judy speaks up. 'Why are you pushing random buttons?'
'I'm trying to end the call. I don't have anything to say to her.' Charlie replied tersely.
Quinn bit her lip to keep from snorting at how bad Charlie was at new technology. She clears her throat, "Charlie, if you don't want to talk to Santana, that's fine. But I want to know why you apologized." When Charlie doesn't answer Quinn sighs, "Me and Rachel can babysit for Harper this weekend.'
'I don't need you to babysit.'
Quinn turns to look at Rachel who pauses for a moment, before deciding that honesty might be the best policy to get to the bottom of things. "Charlie I know you're upset with Santana, but I think that this might simply be a misunderstanding. It seems that Santana believes that you made a deal with her mother to stay away from her in exchange for dropping the criminal case. Obviously that didn't happen, but she took your apology that night as confirmation. We're just trying to get to the bottom of things."
Nothing was said for a few moments before Charlie spoke up, 'I was going to go out with you that night, it's not really my thing these days, but I felt bad about what happened earlier that day and for pressuring her a bit, so I wanted to make it up to her. Her mom came to offer me money to never speak to her again. I got upset so I went home because I didn't think I'd be any fun with that rattling around in my head. But then I felt guilty so I apologized. We're at the park now, I'm going to go for my run. None of this changes anything.' There's a pause and some more rustling before Charlie huffs again. 'Can you end the call please?'
Quinn decides to help her twin out and immediately ends the call, before turning her attention back to Santana who seemed to be paralyzed. "Charlie doesn't hold grudges?" Quinn offered unhelpfully. She wasn't even sure if that was true or not, but this wasn't some small thing. It was one thing if Santana had slept with someone and then met Charlie, no one could blame her for that, but from the pictures on social media, Santana had gone through several people in the past few months, in her attempt to erase Charlie.
Santana took a few deep breaths, trying to fight her way through the multitude of emotions that threaten to tear her apart. Hearing Charlie's voice had made her feel better, but her heart ached in a way that she didn't know was possible. Her mate hadn't betrayed her, but any relief she feels is quickly swallowed by her hurt and guilt. Charlie didn't want anything to do with her, and she doubted an apology was going to make everything okay. She had done something unthinkable for an omega who had found her mate, she had slept with someone else.
It would be one thing if she and Charlie had simply decided that things between them weren't going to work out. But this wasn't that. Charlie hadn't strayed. She'd just been waiting for her, and she had slept with numerous people desperately trying to replace Charlie in her mind. She had spent the past few weeks needlessly torturing herself when her mate had been waiting.
"How do I fix this?" The words are a surprise and she looks up at Quinn and Rachel. "I need to fix this."
~ O ~
Judy glanced over at her youngest daughter, there were so many things that she wanted to say. So many things that needed to be said, and she had so many questions, but Charlie wasn't talking about it and she didn't want to force her daughter to relive what she could only imagine were her nightmares. So instead she focuses on the one topic that seemed to drag her daughter out of her shell. "Harper will be crawling soon, I'll hire someone to childproof the guest house."
"Isn't it a bit early?" Charlie asks turning to look back at the carseat where Harper was sleeping soundly. "She's not nine months old yet."
Judy smiled, "I know, but both you and Quinn were crawling around this age, your father got a kick out of racing the two of you, so it won't hurt to start getting prepared."
Charlie nodded absentmindedly, before pausing. "He raced us?"
"Yes, he would place a cookie at the end of the hallway and put you guys at the other end of the hallway. No one got hurt," Judy said as they turned off the main road and headed towards their gated community. She waited a moment before turning to look at Charlie once more, she seemed deep in thought. "I know you're worried about her, but it'll take a few months before they can pay the back child support. That will give you some time to work things out with Santana—"
"There's nothing to work out." Charlie interrupts looking out the window.
Judy sighed gently and tried not to smile, she was glad there were things that she still knew about her daughter. Charlie always jutted her chin out just a bit when she was deep in thought, "Charlie this just seems like a misunderstanding."
"Harper is my only priority. There is nothing to work out between Santana, she's already made her feelings clear about Harper and I want Harper to be surrounded by people who love her."
Judy hummed, "I don't think you're being quite fair. Just imagine how surprised you were when that awful woman dropped Harper off at your place. All of this wasn't what Santana had imagined when she thought about her mate. This hasn't been easy for her, and honey I love you, but you're not exactly the most—enthusiastic person these days."
Charlie was about to respond when her brain finally registers the scent of her mate nearby. Her brow furrowed immediately as her lips curled downward, "I don't want to see her."
"Charlie, I'll let you in on a little secret, it's not attractive when an alpha doesn't face their problems head on," Judy responds. "I know you're hurting, but at the very least listen to her and see what she has to say."
Charlie grunts as her mother drives by the main house and towards the guest house where she spots Santana sitting on the doorstep waiting for her. She grunts again as her mother comes to a stop and she hops out and heads to the back so she can free Harper who clings to her. "I'm certain that I said I didn't want to see you," Charlie says bluntly, as she turns to look at her mate. Immediately Harper begins to squirm in her arms and reaches for Santana, causing Charlie to frown and put her daughter back in the car seat. "Can you watch her for a bit?"
"Of course," Judy says, smiling at her granddaughter. "Be patient."
"I'm sorry," Santana blurted out as soon as they were alone, "My mom said you took the deal and every attempt you've made to contact me has been ignored because of that."
Charlie nodded. "Okay," she says with a simple shrug. "If I say I forgive you can you please leave me alone?" Charlie asks.
Santana was covered in sweat, and she pulled at her collar to help her breathe, "As long as I can see you more often. I'm dying here, Charlie, and just because you aren't affected doesn't mean that your distance won't affect me."
"I wasn't the one that ghosted you. I reached out, and I begged you to come yesterday to stand by me and you didn't come. Mack might get partial custody because you weren't there beside me. I didn't do this, but if you need to use my presence to get better then do it so long as I don't have to see you." Charlie said, trying to move past Santana so she can get inside.
"Charlie," Santana begged, "Please don't go. I need you. I'm sorry."
Charlie hesitates for a moment, Santana was still her mate, and seeing her in distress was making her feel uncomfortable. She looks down for a second before reaching towards Santana and grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her inside. "Sorry doesn't make things okay. This was for the best anyway, you don't like children and you don't want Harper in your life, I can't change the fact that Harper is mine and I will always put her needs above my own. You'd be better off with another alpha."
Santana sobbed, "I tried. I fucking tried, Charlie, and it literally made things worse. I only wanted you more. You know that most omegas in our situation were mated with them within 3 days? It's been months. I've been so patient and I was just so alone. I'm sorry I wasn't at the hearing. I'm sorry that I don't love Harper. I'm sorry, Charlie, I'm sorry that I'm still not good enough for you."
Charlie reflexively tightened her grip around Santana's wrist and pulled Santana closer to her, narrowing her eyes as her lips curled into a snarl. "What do you mean you tried?" She hisses, leaning in and inhaling Santana deeply, for a moment forgetting to restrain herself as she squeezes Santana's wrist harder. Her mind a jumbled mess, she shouldn't care if Santana had been with other people, but hearing her suggest that she had, was enough to trigger her primal alpha instincts, and she felt a rush of possessiveness.
"It wasn't hard to find someone willing to fuck me," Santana whimpered, eyes low to the ground, "But they weren't you, and all I felt was emptinesss after."
Charlie continues to smell Santana trying to get through all of the scents that swirled around her. She could smell Quinn and Rachel but there were others that she didn't recognize. She pulls back, "Another alpha?" It takes a second and Santana closes her eyes before shaking her head and Charlie lets out a low dangerous growl. How could her mate do this to her. "Don't lie to me. When did this happen?" Was it because she thought that she was a gamma?
Santana hissed as her wrists began to burn, "The first was after we met, not long after I saw the way you looked at Harper instead of me."
Charlie drops Santana's wrist and takes a step back, hurt and shock etched all over her face."So, the entire time?" Before Santana could respond Charlie re-entered her personal space, making herself bigger in the process as she herds Santana into the kitchen. "Did you do it because you think I'm not alpha enough for you?" Charlie demands pinning Santana against the island. She would show her just how much of an alpha she was. Maybe Mac's words had gotten into her head.
"The second was after I thought you betrayed me," Santana continued to repent, embracing the aggression that she deserved, "The last was a week ago to try and help me through this sickness. None of them worked, none of them mattered. No one else matters but you."
Chuckling darkly, Charlie inhaled again. She could smell another alpha on Santana, and it enraged her. "You denied me what was mine. And I felt bad because I wanted you, but you were busy spreading your fucking legs for every alpha with a pulse." Looks away, she didn't want to even look at Santana.
"No, Charlie, please don't—I'll do anything. Please, just make it stop," Santana was in tears.
"Stop," Charlie hissed grabbing at Santana's pants, tearing at Santana's pants, and ripping her underwear off without a second thought. "You gave it up freely to all those other alpha's," Charlie's fingers roughly dragged across Santana's slit, feeling the wetness. "Isn't this what you wanted, Santana. You wanted me to be an alpha for you." She's running on instinct now, she needed to mate Santana, she needed to make Santana hers. She needed to make Santana respect her as an alpha, and that meant showing her how powerful she was,
Santana didn't speak, she only whined and clawed at the front of Charlie's chest, leaving stinging welts in their path. Her body jerked, and Charlie took that as a yes.
Letting go of Santana with one hand she immediately reaches for her zipper and button, trying and failing to pull herself free when she feels Santana kicking at her, and glances up at her mate, embarrassed by the fact that she was soft, how could she be soft. Santana—her hands dropping to her side as her brain finally registers what she's doing as the primal fog lifts. She quickly stumbles back, tripping and falling onto the floor. She had never once lost control before, never like this. How could she—with her mate, she had hurt her mate. What type of alpha hurt their mate? "Santana I—"
Santana ran away, sobbing. There was a flaming pit in Charlie's stomach as she watched her Omega literally run away from her. As Santana left the room, Charlie couldn't help but notice the handprint on Santana's wrists, and the shame hit her like a punch to the gut.
She catches her breath, before slowly getting up and following Santana's scent till she finds her mate, curled up near Harper's crib. She was shivering hard, and Charlie immediately moves as far back as she can until she's against the opposing wall and slumps down. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she whispers.
It took a while, but eventually Charlie's calm presence chilled Santana's sickness like ice on a hot summer day melting across her skin. It wasn't gone, but Santana no longer felt like the world was spinning. When Santana finally found her voice, she hissed at Charlie, "Don't you ever do that to me or anyone else ever again. I will fucking kill you."
"I won't," Charlie says, attempting to make herself less threatening to Santana. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking I'm sorry Santana."
"Two betas, one omega," Santana said bitterly in a moment of sobriety, "I wasn't trying to replace you, Charlie. I was trying to move on."
"So move on. Please Santana, just move on."
Santana laughed at the audacity, "Is your dick so hard that it's plugging your ears? There is no one else, or I wouldn't have come to beg to be a part of your life."
Charlie swallowed, and closed her eyes as she took deep calming breaths. "You can be a part of my life and use me to find another alpha that you want to mate with. I won't interfere and I swear what happened today will never happen again. You'll find someone without the baggage and you'll feel better."
Santana smeared her tears, ruining her makeup, "You and I both know that's not going to happen. Despite everything you've said to me, Charlie, you won't ever let me go. Your actions today have proved that."
"I almost did something—no I did something unforgivable. That's never happened to me before, I've never lost control like that before. So, please just go and be happy with someone else. We can figure out a way to do it so you won't get sick." Charlie swallowed and looked Santana in the eye. "I don't know who I am when you're around. I don't know who you want me to be, and I don't think I can be who you want me to be."
"Charlie, if you keep making me go in circles I will throw up on you," Santana snarked, "I know I'm not your omega, but will you please do me one favor and just be my alpha. Let me pretend I'm good enough for you. Let yourself pretend that you'll allow yourself to just be happy."
Charlie's brow furrows, "How could you possibly think that you're not good enough for me? Look at what I nearly did. Look at all the shit I've done, and all the people I've hurt. I went to get some air on your graduation because I didn't feel good enough for you. All these professionals, what could I offer you. I can't even convince a judge to let me keep my daughter."
"You would move heaven and earth to keep her, Charlie. There was no way you were walking out of that courtroom without at least 50 percent," Santana sighed, "I'm sorry I wasn't there."
"It wouldn't have mattered if you were, he thought I was a gamma. He thought that Mack was right about me. I'm not a very good alpha, Santana. I keep thinking I am, I keep trying to be the perfect alpha, Harper deserves it but I keep fucking things up. I'm weak. I keep trying to be strong, but look at what I did. What type of alpha doesn't have control of themselves? I'm weak, and you should want better."
Santana guffawed, "God, get over yourself. You live next to a McMansion, rent free. You have a wonderful daughter who adores the fuck out of you. Your family loves you, and they are ready to support your growth if you so choose it. You'll do great, Charlie. You just have to see how much the world isn't as against you as you think it is."
"I don't know why you're trying so hard Santana, I don't know what it is you see in me that makes you think that I'm who to bet your future on."
"There is no one else," Santana said simply.
Charlie nods and crawls towards her mate, inching towards slowly. Stopping when Santana freezes, "I won't hurt you, I swear."
"Stay over there. I'm allowed to still be pissed at you," Santana groaned.
Falling back in her spot Charlie sighs and simply sits there. "What now?"
"We wait until I can stand. Then I leave, and you don't come after me," Santana smiled bitterly.
"And then?"
"And then you come apologize to me when you are ready to be the alpha I know you to be. Not a second before," Santana smiled sadly, and stood on shaky legs, "I'll see you around, Charlie." Santana didn't look back as she crossed the threshold into the kitchen, leaving Charlie to sit alone with her own thoughts.
Charlie closes her eyes and smacks her head against the wall.
