Santana had foolishly hoped that it would be a week, maybe two. She was very wrong. As the weeks turned into months, her hope faded that Charlie would ever call. Her therapist said that she should move on, find another alpha who wouldn't try to force anything upon her like Charlie had. She had found an occasional bedside companion, but there was always the worry that Charlie would be angry with her. It wasn't logical, but nothing about their relationship had been logical.

It was becoming obvious that she needed to be the one to make the first move. Charlie was never going to approach her, and she was getting tired of waiting. But she hadn't come to the Fabray's shitty compound because of Charlie, her worst nightmare had come to fruition and somehow Quinn had knocked up Rachel. She was only here to give them a stupid gift of their registry. Hopefully Charlie was holed up in the guest house with Harper, so she wouldn't have to deal with any awkwardness.

She rings the doorbell and adjusts the gift in her hands, as she waits for someone to open the door. She inhales deeply, and freezes when she catches a whiff of the familiar scent of her mate, "Shit!" Santana swears as the door swings open and Judy looks at her. "Sorry, Mrs. Fabray."

"It's asinine, they're in the great room." Judy said nodding in the direction of the party.

Santana muttered her thanks and headed straight into enemy territory. An already plump Rachel was being doted upon by her mate and literally everyone in the room. Right to the side of her was the gifts table, so she just slid hers on while keeping an eye out for the other Fabray twin. She had missed Harper's first birthday, so there was an extra present on there with her name on it. Rachel and Quinn were thankfully okay with the tiny Fabray stealing a bit of their thunder just for today.

"I can't believe she's gotten so big! And she's walking now?"

"Running mostly," Charlie responded to Marley who was bouncing Harper up and down on her lap. "I really can't take my eye off her for a second." Charlie rubbed the back of her neck and glanced up her eyes locking on Santana, and she immediately froze.

Santana immediately turned around and headed for the door. It was good to see Charlie was moving on, even though with every step she took her heart broke more. She stumbled through the foyer and passed a confused Judy with more speed than she thought she had. Santana had almost made it to the door when she felt an arm gently grab hers to stop her from getting in.

"Hey." Charlie said quietly as she moved to hug her mate, stopping when Santana flinches away. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't call," Santana whispered, almost too quiet for Charlie to hear.

"I didn't know what to say. I wanted to call you to tell you some of the good things that happened, I wanted to tell you about some of the bad stuff that happened, but everytime I picked up a phone to call you I thought about what I did, and I honestly didn't want to just pretend that everything was okay. I don't know how to be the alpha you need me to be."

Santana sighed, "That's not what I asked you, Charlie. I asked you to be the alpha you know yourself to be. I want you to thrive, Charlie, and that mentality of trying to change for everyone is what's holding you back,"

Charlie lets Santana's wrist go, she doesn't know how to respond to that. It didn't sound like Santana wanted her to call at all. "You should stay, Rachel and Quinn miss you, and you're Quinn's best friend. I just came here to get some free candy. I have to go train."

"I can't, not while your new omega dotes over your child, Charlie. That's just like rubbing salt in my wounds."

"My new—" Charlie turned back to the house. "Marley isn't my omega, she's mated to Dani who's a friend. I haven't been with anyone since Harper was conceived. Dani Harper is her mate, Marley finds it hilarious and keeps saying that I named Harper after Dani."

"She—listen Charlie, you don't have to spare my feelings, okay? I'm just gonna go," Santana tried to make an exit for the second time.

Charlie tilted her head, "I haven't been with anyone since Harper was conceived. I'm not looking for a replacement Santana." Charlie is quiet for a moment and kicks at the ground. "We had this conversation before Santana, I'm not who you want. I already know what type of alpha I want to be, I've always known. I know who I want to be isn't who you want me to be, and I don't know how you expect me to figure that out. I thought about what happened that day, and I fucked up. I went feral, there's no excuse for what I did, but I don't think I'm ever going to be the type of alpha that is okay with their omega being with other people. I'm also not going to be the type of alpha who abandons their daughter for an omega. I'm not going to stop hating myself, or having nightmares. I'm damaged, I know that, I know I can't mate, and I know I can't give you what you want. So I don't know why we keep rehashing the same argument."

"Don't you get it, idiot? I just want you to be happy! I know you didn't graduate high school but I didn't know you couldn't read into context clues. You said it yourself, you need a mother for Harper. I bet there are plenty of options, so cut the bullshit and open your eyes to them, since you won't have me. I'm sure there's a nice beta girl out there who you don't have to mate with that would be perfect for you and Harper."

Charlie scratched her chin, "I don't think you understand me either. I was quite clear I wanted you to be Harper's mother. I thought you were the person that was supposed to stick by me, but you didn't. I know I fucked up after the fact, but I mean nothing has changed for me. I wanted you to be a family with me and Harper. You said no, so I don't know why you're upset with me. Even if I was looking for someone else, you don't get to be upset with me. You said you didn't want to do it, you've made it abundantly clear that I'm never going to be good enough for you, because you keep trying to replace me." Charlie holds up her hand when Santana is ready to argue with her. "I can smell them on you."

"Don't go playing all high and mighty on me," Santana poked at Charlie's chest, "I'm not ready to be a mom. I was trying to be, but I'm not. If you are so jealous about me sleeping with other people as an adult, Charlie, don't even bother. I almost lost my job, so I found another unmated omega and we've been keeping each other company when things get too bad. I can't be exactly who you want me to be either, but I thought that Harper's present—"

"Well since it's okay if you do it, then it should be fine if I find myself an unmated omega to help me when I feel like rutting. Keep your gift, Harper doesn't need anything from you." Charlie interrupted, before shaking her head and turning away. "I'm late for training. We should be able to be civil. Rachel is pregnant and she doesn't need the stress."

"Whatever," Santana answered bitterly through unshed tears, "I was literally leaving anyway."

Charlie gritted her teeth, "Why am I not enough?"

"Charlie, you are enough. You've always been enough. I have done everything you've asked of me and more just so you could think of me as your mate. I care about you and despite what you think, I care about Harper. I can't be her mother, Charlie, but I can be there for both of you. Why can't you fucking see that I've been trying? I wasn't even going to tell you about her present, I was just going to say my congratulations and leave. You weren't supposed to be here, you weren't supposed to find out. How dare you assume that I'm some heartless bitch because I don't want to be the mother of your child when she already has one. I'm scared, Charlie, I don't want to be the one to fuck her life up because I said the wrong thing to her. Mi abuela disowned me when I told her I wanted to be a surgeon, do you know how much that fucking hurts? She told me that I was meant to be the caretaker for my alpha and their children, and that I should learn how to keep house instead, " Santana continued screaming, her voice hoarse, "The only person I slept with was the first beta, when you told me to move on. You cornered me in your kitchen and you expected me to be some whore, but honestly Charlie, there literally can't be anyone else. I made out with another other beta, maybe I thought I'd mate with him to break your heart. But I couldn't. I literally couldn't. The omegas help take care of me when I'm sick, we've fucked a few times but it's more for physical comfort than anything else. What I needed was my alpha. I stopped offering myself to you when I found out but I thought you'd talk to me about it so we could work through it, instead you pulled away. I am so proud of you for letting everyone know, but now I need you to stop thinking that what happened to you is going to affect our relationship other than make me love you more because I can see you trying, and it's amazing. I don't want to be with anyone else, I want to be with you and Harper and get a decent apartment somewhere and watch you raise Harper to be the amazing woman I know she will be one day. Ay dios mio, Charlie, you've been enough this whole time, it just seems to me that you didn't believe me! "

Charlie stared in surprise, her jaw slightly slack as she looked at her mate. "You're my mate. You shouldn't be going to other people, you should be coming to me. It's like you think I don't care about you or I don't want you. I want you. I've wanted you for a long time and you were gone and I didn't know what I did wrong and then you were here and I found out you were trying to replace me. I'm not fragile, I can handle it. I can be there—I want to be there for you."

Santana was sobbing, "Then do it! Be here, Charlie, I'm begging you. I want to stop fighting and just be happy! I've been driving myself mad because I want to be there for you but I can't do that if we can't do anything but fight."

Charlie takes a step forward toward Santana and then stops, "I want to kiss you now."

"Well you fucking better. Jeez, I poured my heart out to you and—"

Charlie's lips crash into Santana's, hungrily she had wanted to do this every time she saw her mate. Now she finally could. She wants to take her mate right there, but she can't. She needed to let Santana control the pace and she needed to earn her mate's trust back.

~ O ~

"Do you think our yelling ruined the party," Santana gently played with Charlie's hand. She hadn't let go since Charlie had pulled her over to the guest house.

"Don't care," Charlie admits. "They've been unbearable the past few weeks." Charlie squeezed Santana's hand gently, "I'm not very smart Santana. I'm not good with people either."

"I'm not gonna say you're a himbo but—" Santana gave her a pointed look before laughing for the first time in many weeks.

Charlie puffs out her cheeks, "What I'm saying is that I'll probably miss what you're saying sometimes. You're going to need to spell things out for me. You can always come to me, I want to help you if I can. I want to be the one to make you feel safe and loved."

Santana sobered, "We need to talk about what happened, when you're ready."

Charlie shook her head, "Why? Why does everyone keep asking me that? I don't want to talk about it, because I don't want to remember it. Something bad happened, I know that, but I'm working on it."

"I was talking about when you went feral Charlie, Charlie. We'll talk about that at a different time, when you're ready."

"I was desperate for you to see me, and I just—I lost it," Charlie explains. "That's not an excuse, but I just really wanted you to be mine, and I thought if we slept together if you saw how good I was, you wouldn't be with other people. I swear that won't happen again, I'm not the type of alpha that terrorizes their omega—at least I don't want to be. "

"Alright, let's start there. Why did you tell me to be with other people if you wanted me so badly? You could've just said you needed time. I mean after you told me, not before."

"I wanted to give you a chance to leave before you got attached to me. I'm not—" Charlie paused for a moment. "I'm not who you imagined I would be. I have a kid and I needed you to realize that being with me wasn't going to be easy. I'm not—it's not easy. And even if I want you as my mate, that doesn't mean I can have you as my mate. I can't mate."

"Charlie, I've seen you punch a wall and that didn't scare me off."

"I know, but it should. I'm not trying to be insecure but this doesn't make sense in my head. I don't get how someone like you can want to be with me. None of it makes sense, and I want to save you from me but I also want you and it's very confusing. I haven't thought about trying to make someone else happy in a long time."

Santana let out a laugh, "You're trying to make Harper happy."

"Waving a brightly colored paper in front of Harper makes her happy. I'm still worried about keeping her alive. She runs now, and she climbed out of her bed yesterday, I think it's harder to keep her alive now." Charlie mused before looking at her mate. It wasn't the same, Harper could barely talk and her most complicated need was that she wanted to eat cookies all the time.

"Charlie, you are doing everything you know how to do. Research says kids don't start remembering stuff until they are 5, so you've got a few more years to fuck up before she hates you for it," Santana smiled teasingly,

"Santana I'm being serious."

"Yeah? And so am I. Your parents would have taken her away a long time ago if they didn't see that you were actively trying to change for your baby girl."

A pause, Charlie won't stop looking at Santana with a silly smile, "Say that again."

"What?"

"You called her a baby. Do it again, I know you can."

"That—I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on, Santana, I know you can do it."

"You know what, fine. She's a baby. I will not stop the nicknames though, and it's only going to double when Elphaba and Glinda have their little munchkin."

"Well baby is better than crotch goblin, so is munchkin. Charlie responds, relaxing for a moment and just holding her mate in her arms. "I think Quinn and Rachel expect me to help them with their baby."

Santana makes a face immediately at the very thought, "You have your own kid to worry about and babies are awful, you can say that now that Harper's entered the toddler stage of development. Toddlers are awful too. Children only become bearable when they are completely toilet trained, and they can talk, but they haven't learned about talking back just yet."

Charlie snorts at Santana's breakdown before she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "So. What now?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do we do now? What does this mean for us? What does it mean for Harper?"

"I'm still on thin ice at work," Santana admitted. "And this—we're still very raw right now, I don't really want to push this too fast. We've still got a lot of shit to figure out, so why don't we just go on a date?"

"A date?" Charlie questions.

Santana nodded, "Yeah, you and I—no you me and Harper can make a day of it, I'd have to figure out my schedule—wait what are you doing for work these days? I mean you've clearly been working out," Santana smirked squeezing at Charlie's bicep, her smirk breaks into a playful smile when Charlie blushes and pulls her arm away.

"I fight every couple of weeks," Charlie admitted, swallowing. "I've lost a couple of times, and I didn't end up winning any money but now that my hand isn't broken I can use my right hand again." Charlie said with a pleased smile.

"Every couple of weeks?" Santana questioned her brow furrowing. That didn't sound right. But then again it might be every couple of months.

Charlie nodded, "I'm fighting next week, the prize money is ten thousand if I win the tournament. You should come. You'll get to see how good I am. It'll be nice to have you cheering me on. I won't lose if you're watching I promise."

Santana nods if her mate seemed happy then she'd be supportive. "What's the date, I'll try and make it. I can't promise anything, especially if it's a night that I'm on call," Santana groans. She knew that the moment that she started her residency she'd have no life, but she truly did think that she'd still be able to spend time with her mate.