Author's Note: Just a quick update. These will be a little faster because we're almost to the end and I can't wait to share it with all of my dedicated readers!
Disclaimer: You're tired of reading it and I'm tired of writing it so you know the drill. Don't own Star Wars. Just play in their world.
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"She is strong
and she can fight
the world on her own.
But that doesn't mean
that's she's not dreaming of
resting her head
on someone's shoulder.
Someone, who can
love a strong woman,
but allow her to feel fragile
and protected by his side."
-Veronika Jensen
Rey
His body is trembling and I take gulping breathes, scrubbing away the tears. Gods I am such a mess. I need to get myself under control and-
"Hey," Calloused fingers slide beneath my chin, lifting my face. Ben smiling makes me want to start crying all over again, "You don't have to do that with me."
"Do what?"
His thumb brushes away the moisture on my cheek. "Pretend everything is okay. It's alright to cry Rey. I'm here, I have you. I'm not letting go."
Another hot tear leaks out and maybe it's because of the battle. Coming back from the dead and then watching him die and live again.
I'm such an emotional wreck.
I sigh and lean my head against his.
"Are you going to do this forever?"
His hand still cups my face, wiping away my falling tears.
"Do what?"
"Stay by my side, taking care of me even when I don't ask you to?"
A slight chuckle and his hand slides behind my neck, fingers burying in my hair and I shiver in awareness.
"Always. I'm afraid your stuck with me sweetheart."
"Hey Ben?"
"Yeah?"
"I really want to kiss you again."
He pulls back and I lift my head, staring into his dark, beautiful eyes. His fingers tighten in my hair as my hands slide up his chest.
Our breath mingles as his mouth hovers over mine.
"So do-"
"REY! WHERE ARE YOU! REY!"
I snap my head back reflexively when I hear Finn screaming for me like a madman.
How by the Force did he find me?
"He has the worst timing I swear."
Ben muttering beneath his breath and I'm in full agreement.
The things I want to do to him requires privacy and ours just ran out.
I drop my hands from his chest and sigh, getting to my feet. My side pinches and my vision doubles for a second.
I must be more worn out than I thought.
"Come on," I hold out my hand to him, "looks like the cavalry has found us."
"Lucky me."
He grasps my hand and staggers to his feet. I just barely manage to get my arm beneath him before Finn comes rushing into the cave, blaster drawn with a wild look on his face.
"Rey! I-" his eyes harden and he swings the gun straight at Ben's chest, "get away from him now!"
Hell no.
"Put that goddamn thing away or I swear I will shoot you myself!"
He looks at Ben with murder in his eyes.
"What did you do to her? You brainwashed her didn't you! Used your damned Jedi-mind tricks to make her think you're on her side and I'm-"
"That's enough Finn!" He's staring at me as if I've lost my mind, "He saved my life! He saved all of us so put your weapon down!"
Finn drops the gun as if suddenly burned and my vision grays and the need to throw up cramps my stomach.
I...really don't feel so good.
"Rey!"
Ben lowering me to the ground despite his own pain and the need to throw up intensifies and I'm on my hands and knees, blood splattering the ground as my stomach cramps violently.
Pain below my ribs, my side throbbing and if it wasn't for Ben holding onto me I think I would have fallen.
"I have you."
Skin on fire, I thought it was Ben's touch making me burn so hotly.
"What's...what's happening to her?"
Finn sounds terrified and I regret the way I yelled at him. It's not how I wanted to reunite but I couldn't let him hurt Ben.
"She's bleeding internally, she needs medical attention now."
"I'm," my abdomen spasms and I cough, blood dribbling down my lips, "fine."
Furious howl filling the cave and I glance up through the pain to see Chewie and Lando rushing in.
Heat blooming in my chest to see my friends alive, I was so afraid they had died in battle.
But where is-
"..Poe? Where-"
My stomach cramps and I throw up more blood, a sickly metallic taste in the back of my throat.
Cool hand on my forehead and it's Ben. I would know his touch blind.
"Stop talking. I'm sure Dameron is alive. You need-"
His hand shakes, dropping away and I snap my eyes open to see Ben fall on his side, eyes closed and breathing shallow.
The bond between us flickers.
"BEN!"
I crawl next to him, grasping his hand but I can't find any external wounds.
"Rey!"
"Grrwarrl!"
"Help...him..."
Fire in my head, my heart beating so fast it's painful to even breathe but all I can think about is Ben.
He...can't die...we just-
White noise around me as I tumble into darkness...
Something warm on my face, a familiar beeping and the cadence of birdsong assault me as soon as I regain consciousness.
I take a deep breath and cough, the strong smell of antiseptic overwhelming.
Eyes watering I glimpse BB-8 whistling excitedly next to the bed I'm currently occupying. The warmth on my face is sunlight coming through a window. A red-crested bird sitting in a nearby tree serenades me.
Where am I? How did I get here?
My mind feels fuzzy, memories hazy and scattered.
"Oh my mistress Rey! We've been so worried about you!"
Threepio shuffling into my room and I gingerly sit up, wincing as I touch my abdomen where a clear bacta patch is currently attached.
"Th-Threepio," is that rasping sound really my voice, "hi. You...you remember me?"
"Of course Mistress Rey. My faculties have returned to one-hundred percent capacity. I am fully functional now."
Yeah, this is definitely the Threepio I remember.
Seems the hack job Poe and Finn did on him in Kijimi is repaired.
Poe. Finn. The battle.
Ben shaking as we collapse on the ground, his heartbeat erratic.
"Ben!"
My back spasms as I throw off the covers and the medscan attached to my wrist going off like a klaxon.
"Mistress Rey! Your medscanner is reporting elevated stress levels and-"
I'm already unhooking wires and ripping off the bacta patch as I ignore Threepio and try to get out of bed.
"Rey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
I look up to see Poe and Finn rushing into my room. Poe's right arm is in a sling and he has stubble around his mouth and jaw. I'm just noticing the fading bruises on Finn's left temple.
"Poe! Finn!"
I finally get my feet beneath me. The loose gown I'm wearing means nothing as I stumble towards my friends.
They catch me in strong arms.
Tears streaming down my face and I don't care as I'm reunited with my two best friends.
My brothers.
"Whoa Rey, your choking me!"
Poe chuckling but he's also squeezing the air out of my lungs and I don't tell him to stop despite the burning in my chest.
I honestly thought I would never see these two idiots again.
BB-8 is whistling excitedly somewhere in the room.
"F-friend. G-good to be home."
A bump at my ankle and I let go of my boys to look down at the dilapidated green and white droid.
"D-0!"
I lean down to stroke the little droid but pain like a sharp knife digs into my side and I gasp, black spots dancing in my vision.
Maybe removing the patch wasn't my brightest idea. I think it must have had a numbing agent in it.
"Rey!" Finn's cool touch on my arm, "you're not healed! Get back into bed. I'll get the doctor-"
"Where's Ben?"
Poe and Finn go completely still and alarm slams my heart frantically against my ribs. I close my eyes and shove away the panic clawing at my chest to reach for the bond.
Shadows and starlight brush my mind, his soul nestled against my own.
He's alive and close by.
I open my eyes to see my best friends looking at me with newfound wariness. Finn is rubbing his neck and Poe has a fist on his hip.
"Where is he?"
"Rey-" Finn sounds tired but Poe cuts him off before he can even finish.
"So it's true," Poe giving me a gimlet eye, "what Finn told me about you and Kylo Ren."
A slight sneer in his voice and my temper ignites.
"He's not Kylo Ren. He is Ben Solo and I want to see him. Now."
Poe and I trade glares and I wonder if I'm going to have to fight him to get to Ben. My head is throbbing, side aching and I'm in no condition to fight.
I don't care.
I will get to Ben.
Poe let's out a dramatic sigh and shakes his head, dropping his arm.
"Shit, you're just the same as him. Both of you out of your goddamn minds. Fine if you can walk I'll take you to him. He's not far away."
My jaw drops when I realize he was bluffing me. He had no intention of keeping me from Ben.
He just wanted to see how I would react.
I don't know whether to kiss him or slug him.
He gives me a jaunty grin even as he backs away.
"Don't do it Rey!"
He hasn't changed at all. I laugh until I cry, pain burning in my side. I gasp and take a wobbly step.
I need to see Ben.
"Here grab onto me."
Finn offering me his arm and I lean against him as he takes my weight, relieving some of the pressure.
"Thanks Finn." I brush the tears from my eyes, "For...everything."
"Uh huh. I'll chew you out later."
Oh that's going to be a fun conversation.
We move out of the room and the white sterile halls and strong smell of antiseptic tell me I must in a med-center.
"Where are we?"
"Back on Ajan Kloss."
I look up at Finn and he gives me a slight smile but the worry remains bright in his eyes.
"You've been asleep for three days Rey. I thought for sure we were going to lose you on the Falcon before we made it back."
Three days? Damn. Ben must be out of his mind with worry by now.
"What about Ben? Is he okay?"
Finn looks away from me and Poe must have been listening the entire time because he speaks up.
"You'll find out soon enough. In here."
We stop at another door down the hall not far from where I was at.
I frown when I see two guards stationed outside.
The doors are opaque and I can't make out anything until they slide open.
I don't miss the look the guards give Poe and Finn but I'll deal with it later.
Ben is lying on the bed, tubes and patches covering him.
His eyes are closed and if not for the bond between us I would have believed him dead.
I had no idea his injuries were this extensive.
"Oh gods..."
The cut on his lip and gash across his cheek are already healing. His left ankle is swathed in white bandages.
But it's the bacta pack across his chest squeezing my heart until I can barely breath. Mottled bruises of hellish black and dusky purple cover his entire torso.
I let go of Finn and stumble to his side.
"Ben," I grab his hand gently, pressing a kiss to his abused knuckles, "you idiot...why didn't you say something..."
His eyes flutter open and I bite my lip, struggling not to cry. Pain has darkened his eyes to midnight.
"Rey." My name no more than a gentle sigh but his voice is slurred and he's already fading back into slumber.
He must be on heavy pain meds to sleep so unguarded.
Poe and Finn are talking as a new voice joins their conversation.
I tune them out as I slip into bed next to Ben. His bed is larger than mine and can fit both of us easily.
I'm not going to leave him here to wake up alone.
Despite the meds he shifts to make room for me and my heart clenches in reaction.
Even now, so brutally beaten, he's thinking of me.
Gently, oh so gently, I tuck myself next to him and lay my head against his shoulder. I pull his arm around my waist and lift my hand to his chest, fingers shaking.
The steady beating of his heart seems to repeat the same word to me over and over again.
Home.
Whatever strength I had is gone. It's a good thing I'm already in bed because I doubt I'm going to be able to move for a while.
Calloused fingers cover mine as his breathing evens out.
I love you Ben, I feather a touch to his mind, needing the contact.
A caress softer than a breeze inside my head. Warmth seeps into the marrow of bones.
I know. I love you too Rey.
The awful tension when I woke and found him missing is easing.
I'm back where I belong at his side.
I can rest now.
I snuggle close and drift into sleep, safely wrapped in his arms.
"What is she-"
"She wasn't suppose to-"
"What is the meaning of all this? I said no visitors. My patients are in critical condition and-"
"Doctor Metris I suggest you look at your readings again."
My eyes flicker open briefly at the sound of Maz's unmistakable voice. But fatigue and pain have caught back up with me and I can't stay awake any longer.
"I...I don't understand. His condition...it's stabilizing. Her vitals are leveling out...alright Maz I want explanations. Now."
Good luck with that.
The sleepy thought circles my brain and I swear I hear Ben's dark laughter filling my soul as our fingers remain clasped together.
It's the last thing I hear before sleep drags me back under.
Fingers gliding through my hair, a gentle, rhythmic motion bringing me awake with a contented sigh.
There is only one person I would allow such intimacy especially when I'm sleeping. I open my eyes and look up at Ben's bruised face, his eyes clear and for now, pain-free.
"Hi."
"Hi."
His fingers have ceased their caress and I frown.
"What is it?"
I blush and mumble a response, this intimacy between us somehow new again.
"I like it when you stroke my hair."
His lips twitch and I swear he's laughing at me.
His fingers resume gliding through my hair.
"How are you feeling?"
I don't know why I'm whispering.
"Better now you're here with me."
I laugh at his quip, my earlier embarrassment forgotten.
"I had to bully Finn and Poe into bringing me here."
"Why am I not surprised?"
We're all on the same side now and yet I have a feeling he might go out of his way to needle my friends because he can.
"You be nice."
That arrogant lift of his brow I know so well.
"Persuade me."
Low, silken words and I lick my lips, breathless and aching all at once.
I lean in to kiss his mouth.
He winces painfully when he shifts closer and my befuddled senses snap me back to reality.
I'm ready to jump his bones and he's still badly injured. I lean away and press my hands to his chest.
"Ben! You're in no shape to be moving around."
"I'm...ugh...fine. The pain meds are wearing off. Nothing I haven't dealt with before."
He's being stubborn but I've learned how to get around his particular brand of stubbornness. I deliberately shift my weight, the pain in my abdomen flaring.
His hand shifts directly from my hair to my waist and immediately I'm tugged back down, head pillowed on his shoulder.
"Why didn't you tell me you were hurting?"
I lift an eyebrow at the demanding growl in his voice.
Bossy as ever. Must be a personality quirk rather than habit.
"Nothing I haven't dealt with before."
"...that...you...alright. Fine. You win."
I grin and turn my head, pressing my lips to the hollow of his neck.
His fingers dig into my hip and I hear his breath catch.
I can't help it. The need to touch him is all I can think about.
"You should know better than to argue with me."
I murmur the words against his skin, goosebumps erupting and languid heat spills through my veins.
"Is this what I have to look forward to for the next hundred years?"
Breathless words spoken lightly and yet my heart is trembling painfully in my chest at the implication.
I shift so I can look up at him and blink to see a flush of scarlet across his face.
"A hundred years Ben?"
Slowly he shifts on his side so we're facing each other, his arm draped over my hip and for some reason I'm not feeling any more pain.
Despite my trembling heart I can't help but delight over the fact he's blushing.
He clears his throat and lifts his hand, smoothing back my hair.
"Not long enough? Well I heard Master Yoda lived to be around nine-hundred but he wasn't human so-"
I press fingers to his lips and I don't know if I want to laugh or cry.
"Ben I don't care if we live for a hundred years or one. So long as-"
His hand grasping mine, mouth pressing delicate kisses to my fingertips and I swear this is revenge for making him blush.
He glances at me through the fringe of his long lashes and I'm shaking at the solemn look in his dark gaze.
"So long as what Rey?"
No more hiding how I feel. No more running.
"So long as I have you with me."
He pulls my hand away from his lips and presses it to his chest.
I feel the steady beating of his heart beneath my palm.
"I love you Rey and you have me. Until the day I take my last breath, I'm yours and even then I will find you in the Force. Or our next life."
I thought I couldn't love him any more than I do and then he says this. Does he know he holds my heart in the palm of his hands?
I scoot closer and lean my head against his chest, face burning.
Is he saying...what I think he means? I desperately want to ask him but my courage decides to flee and I can't do it.
So I blurt out something else entirely.
"Our next life?"
His breath ruffles my hair in a quiet sigh.
"Yes. A single life with you will never be enough. I want a hundred, a thousand lifetimes with you."
His bruised fingers lift my chin and my heart quivers at the aching tenderness of his gaze, his love a blazing fire forever warming my soul.
"I will always love you Rey. You are my forever."
He is so incredibly gentle with me. As if I were something precious and fragile and...his.
I don't know how I could have lived without him.
My Dyad.
"I love you Ben. You're my forever too."
His smile is everything to me and I have to kiss him.
I think I just might die if I don't.
"Don't move Ben."
I lean forward, lips parted to taste him-
"Mistress Rey! Master Ben! How good to see you awake and functional!"
I startle badly and end flat on my back staring up at Threepio.
Damn it! Am I ever going to kiss him again?
"Knock next time before you enter." I growl throwing an arm over my burning face.
"Yes of course, forgive my rudeness. But I am here to inform you Doctor Metris wishes to speak with you. I shall get her now."
"Threepio wait-"
I'm up and reaching to stop him but he's already out the door.
"And he's gone. Great."
I sigh and turn to look at Ben who is giving me a sardonic look.
Thwarted arousal is not something I'm comfortable with.
"Don't. Say. Anything."
He huffs at me just as the doctor walks in. She has short, wavy chestnut hair streaked gray in the front and lines around her mouth and eyes which she claims are from a lifetime of laughter and worry.
Her slim build is accented by her med clothes, white shirt tucked into black pants and dark green vest over the shirt. In her hands is a datapad.
She isn't smiling but her hazel eyes are kind.
"Your color has improved from the last time I checked in. How are you feeling Rey?"
"Much better."
There was only a slight pull on my side when I sat up.
Ben growls at me and she cocks an eyebrow at him and I shake my head.
"I'm fine. Ignore him, he worries too much."
"I'll be the judge of that. Stand up and walk around for me."
My feet touch the cool ground and I do as she tells me, wincing when she has me bend over and her fingers press against my back.
"Hmm, you have some residue internal bruising. Expected considering your spleen ruptured. Light activity along with hot baths will help relieve the soreness and speed up recovery. Go ahead and straighten."
I do so gratefully as I massage the kink in my back.
"How does your head feel? Any blurred vision or dizziness?"
I blink and shake my head.
"No. I feel fine. Why?"
"You showed signs of having a cracked skull when I initially examined you. The wound looked old but I wanted to be certain."
Cracked skull? When did that happen?
A sliver of memory surfaces.
Something about the battle with Palpatine...Ben's touch and a shock of pain...
The memory fragments and I can't recall it.
I glance at Ben and he watches me with dark, troubled eyes but keeps his silence.
He knows something but I won't push. We can talk about it later.
She taps on the datapad and I lift my hand with the medscan still attached.
"Can I lose the hardware?"
I swear I see a gleam of amusement in her sharp gaze. Having Threepio constantly monitoring my vitals is becoming a headache and I think she knows it.
"Yes I believe you can so long as you follow my instructions. Now for my other patient."
She moves away from me to look Ben over.
I frown but hold my tongue when I see his mask slip back into place, guarded wariness replacing the gentle warmth from earlier.
"How are you feeling?"
He glances up at me for a fraction of a second.
"Fine."
I snort and cross my arms over my chest.
He is such a liar.
"Don't you-"
Dr. Metris holds up her hand and I close my mouth, biting back my retort.
"Ben," she arches at eyebrow at my lover, "I'm not here to judge you. My sole concern is your recovery. I am a doctor first and foremost. So in order to treat you effectively I need you to be honest. Let's try this again. How are you feeling?"
He regards her with cool eyes before closing them, letting out a heavy sigh.
"I don't feel pain when I take a deep breath but my chest tightens if I move too quickly."
She taps her datapad and nods her head.
"Better than I anticipated considering the state you were in. Your lungs showed burns I can't explain and you suffered three broken ribs on your right and two with hairline fractures on your lower left. The tendons in your left ankle were badly torn but we've mended them. You'll need to keep the bacta pack on for at least two more days to completely recover."
My hand creeps to my throat as she lists his injuries.
Three cracked ribs, two fractured. His ankle torn along with who knows how many cuts and abrasions.
Any one of those broken ribs could have punctured his lungs. I could have lost him.
I did lose him even if it was only for short time.
My heart stutters and cold sweat slides down my spine as I remember the terror of not feeling his heartbeat, my soul screaming for his.
"Rey."
I open my eyes, not realizing I closed them and see Ben with his hand lifted to me.
"Come here."
Our fingers entwine as I sit back down on the bed. I don't let go as Doctor Metris explains he'll need to be under observations for a least three more days before she's willing to discharge him.
She glances at us and I swear a see just a slight glimmer in her eyes as they rest on Ben.
"You look like her."
Softly spoken words and a stricken look in Ben's eyes.
I think I know who the doctor is referring to.
Leia.
She clears her throat and moves away.
"Rey you're free to leave. Remember what I said about light activity. Nothing strenuous until I clear both of you."
For some reason I hear a hidden message and when I glance at Ben his eyes are averted, a slight stain of color across his face. She chuckles, muttering something about 'young people' and 'hormones'.
The door slides shut behind her while my confused brain puts the pieces together.
I groan and snatch my hand out of his to cover my face, I feel like I just swallowed a small sun.
"Tell me she wasn't referring to...you know..."
I peek at Ben through my fingers and he cocks an eyebrow at me despite the blush I can see on his face.
He knows exactly what I'm trying to ask.
I groan louder and shut my eyes again.
Gods was I really so obvious?
"Don't worry Rey I promise not to take advantage of you."
I lower my hands and glare at him. He seems far too amused about my discomfort and yet I'm oddly grateful.
I know being reminded of Leia must be painful for him and I think Doctor Metris said that to distract us both.
He sighs and shadows creep back into his eyes.
So much for the distraction.
"Hey," I reach out to smooth back his hair, "get some rest. I'm going to show and change then see about food for us."
"I'm not hungry. Just...tired."
The bond shimmers between us and I know he's not talking about physical exhaustion. His soul is weary in a way I wish I could ease.
I get up and press a kiss to his forehead, his arm coming up around my waist.
"Sleep," I whisper, "I'll be back soon. I promise."
I pull away and he watches me with his quiet, melancholy eyes.
"I love you Rey."
My lips tremble and I cup his face before stepping out of his arms.
"I know. I love you too Ben. Try and rest."
Another painful sigh and he closes his eyes.
I wait a few more minutes before I leave, the door sliding gently behind me.
Poe and Finn are waiting for me. Poe's arm is out of his sling but he still has bandages wrapped around his hand and forearm.
Already I feel tension thickening the air between us.
This isn't going to be easy but I promised myself I was done running.
"Let me shower and dress," I tell them before either one can speak, "then we need to talk."
Poe glances at room I just came from, his features tightening.
"Yeah I'll say we do. I can't wait to hear this explanation."
You don't know the half of it Poe.
