Santana let out a soft moan as she gingerly rolled over onto her stomach. She bites her lip as she pushes her hair out of her face, and steals a look at her mate who was attempting to catch her breath. She had a sneaking suspicion that Charlie had not been giving it her all, every other time that they had been together. She'd be insulted, but even when Charlie wasn't into it, she had never once orgasmed that hard in her life. "Charlie."
"Give me a minute, I'll be able to go again in a minute," Charlie responds turning over to look at her.
Santana shivers, she could still feel Charlie's cum slowly dripping down and she swallowed, she wasn't sure how much Charlie had left in her but her alpha really was in fantastic shape. She was deliciously sore, and she wasn't sure if she had another round in her. "Were you holding back before?" Santana questions reaching down and wrapping a hand around Charlie's rapidly hardening member, she keeps a rather firm grip on it as she forces her mate to look at her.
Charlie groaned as Santana began to slowly pump her hand up and down, "I don't know?"
"What do you mean you don't know?" Santana questioned, a curious look on her face, even as she continued enjoying the sound of Charlie's breathing shifting as she succumbs to the pleasure.
"I can't remember most of the times I've had sex. I know I've had it, I've woken up naked a couple of times, but I can't actually remember most of my encounters." Charlie admits after a moment and lets out a frustrated groan when Santana stops and looks at her. She flushes suddenly feeling a bit vulnerable and gently pulls Santana's hand off her dick, "I was either completely drunk or high, usually it was both. An alpha and a couple of omegas—plus Mack. With Mack I only really remember the aftermath and bits of it because of the broken bond."
"I'm the only person you've been with while sober?" Santana blinked, still trying to process it. Quinn had been with plenty of omega's and betas before she had met Rachel.
Charlie hesitated, "If I'm not doing it right—"
"Not doing it right?" Santana lets out a small laugh, pausing when Charlie doesn't laugh with her. "Charlie I'm not complaining, I'm trying to figure out how you levelled up from last time!" She shifts on the bed so she can nuzzle her mate who pulls her close to her. "I've been trying to get out of my shift on Friday morning, so maybe you and Harper can come over Thursday evening and we can get a start on the weekend together."
"Can't, I have a meeting Friday morning. Apparently Harper's doomed because I haven't registered for a preschool yet."
Santana had noticed a few pamphlets with the rest of Charlie's mail. "Do you want to go over places? I'm not sure I'll be much help, I didn't get to go to fancy preparatory schools that prepare you for the rigors of an Ivy League Education."
"I got expelled several times," Charlie reminds Santana resting her head against her shoulder. "It's probably because I'm her parent but I think she's smart, she's more or less potty trained and she's not even two yet. And I'm pretty sure she's memorized all of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. I don't know if that's impressive or not, but if she's smart then maybe I should let my parents handle sending her to a really good school."
"I didn't go to your fancy prep schools and I worked my ass off to get into Columbia, extra curriculars, studying, volunteering. I was a cheerleader back in high school. I had to wear that uniform nearly every day. Harper isn't even two yet, we don't know what she wants to be, so how about just letting her be a kid?"
Charlie nods after a moment, Santana was right and she did want to make sure that Harper wasn't spoiled brat. She does feel bad for lying about where she was going on Friday, but she didn't want to let her mate know that she was going to her first therapy session. It wasn't as if she wasn't going to check out some fancy prep schools after, but she felt bad hiding things from her mate. She's quiet for a moment before she lifts her head and looks at Santana. "Do you still have the uniform?"
Santana bites her lip to stop herself from laughing, her alpha was trying to play it off as it was no big deal but there was a hint of eagerness in Charlie's voice that betrayed how much she wanted to see it. "Probably somewhere in my parents house, if I ever visit remind me and I'll grab it for you. But we're going to need to have a conversation about you being a bit of a clichéd perv."
"I am not," Charlie insisted. "I just think you'd look nice."
"Oh?" Santana presses. "Don't I look nice all the time?" Santana asks watching as Charlie's face morphs into a frown as she realizes that she's been caught in a rather simple trap. She laughs and gently kisses Charlie on the forehead, "While you think of a way out of the whole you're in, I'm going to go get some water."
~ O ~
"It's okay to be nervous Charlie, this is a big step that you're taking."
Charlie glanced at her mother before turning her attention back to the rather plain office building that she'd been staring at since they'd arrived. Her mother looked far more nervous than she felt, she had spent the past few minutes debating whether this was worth it. She wasn't sure if there was anyone that could fix her, and she didn't really feel like wasting her time. Maybe if she had gotten help after it had happened she'd be in a far better place now, but she secretly felt like it was too late. "Maybe—" she begins looking at her mother.
"I should have held my ground when you were younger, but with your father being an alpha I let him take the reins and I regret that. I wanted you in therapy the first time we caught you out of your mind on drugs, I also wanted to put you in rehab," Judy admits reaching over and taking Charlie's hand. "But you're here now, and maybe it won't be of any use to you, but you won't know that until you at least try." Judy turns to look over at Harper who had fallen asleep in her carseat. "Remember why you're doing this Charlie."
Charlie licks her lips and leans back in her seat for a moment before nodding. Her mother was right, she needed to do this so she could be a better parent to Harper as she got older. The thought of her daughter hating her made her insides hurt. "I think it's time for me to go inside."
"We'll be back in an hour, but if you need more time just shoot me a text," Judy offered squeezing Charlie's hand. She watches as her daughter slowly exits the car and makes her way towards the building. It would take some time, but she knew that she'd have her confident daughter back soon. She just needed to be patient, because she doubted that this would be a simple journey for Charlie.
~ O ~
"Current symptom checklist," Charlie mumbled under her breath and looked up at the receptionist for a moment, but she seemed busy with someone else. She wasn't sick and for the first time she regretted not telling Santana what she was doing. "Rate intensity of symptoms presently experiencing. Mild means that it impacts quality of life, but no significant impairment of day-to-day functioning. Moderate means that it has a significant impact on quality of life and or day-to-day functioning. Severe means that it has a profound impact on quality of life and or day-to-day functioning."
She begins to read through the list of symptoms, she wasn't depressed was she? And she felt sad sometimes, but was that a symptom of something larger? She scans the rest of the list, checking off the ones that she knew she didn't have. She wasn't anorexic, she didn't have hallucinations, or delusions. Charlie stares at the list for a moment before sighing and deciding to bite the bullet and ask Santana for help. She reaches for her phone and after hesitating for a moment calls her mate.
'Hey Charlie, I was just about to send you a message—I was thinking that you me and Harper should go to Central Park, I hear there are cherry blossoms and it would be nice. I think Harper would like it. I checked the weather, it's supposed to be sunny.'
"Okay," Charlie says that sounded like it would be fun. She swallows and looks at the list. "Am I depressed?"
'Are you depressed—what? Are you working on an intake form? Are you in a hospital? Which hospital? I'll make your dad or Quinn pay for a helicopter or something so I can—'
"No—I—therapy," Charlie mumbles her cheeks burning up immediately when the line goes silent. She can practically hear the gears turning in Santana's head, "I don't know if it's going to work—so I wasn't going to tell you but I started therapy—at least I'm trying to. I don't know if I have these symptoms though."
'We're going to have a talk about you hiding shit from me later, but read out what it says and I'll do my best to help you.' Santana says after a moment, frowning slightly. There was no way she could get across New York in time to be Charlie's moral support. The phone would simply have to do. 'I don't think you're depressed by the way. I mean I didn't know you before, but you're active, you don't seem depressed but that might be something you should talk with your therapist about.'
"Okay," Charlie said, putting a question mark near the word depression. She slowly goes through the rest of the symptoms with Santana filling out everything she could to the best of her ability.
~ O ~
Roz Washington studied the woman in front of her carefully as she skimmed the intake form. As a therapist who specialized in sexual assault, Charlie was not the first alpha she'd seen, but some of the symptoms that Charlie had checked off fit the profile perfectly. "Before we begin, I always like to start off by telling you a bit about myself, and then I'll ask you what you plan on getting out of our sessions after you tell me a bit about yourself. Does that sound good?"
Charlie nods as she fidgets nervously. She had requested an alpha for this, an omega couldn't possibly understand and if she did have a bad experience, it would be easier to process if it was another alpha.
Roz begins to go over her professional accomplishments and accreditation, before looking at her client again. "Therapy isn't a cure-all, it also doesn't work for everyone. Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself and tell me what you hope to get out of this."
"I don't have any accomplishments, I just got my GED like a few months ago."
"That's an accomplishment Charlie, congratulations." Roz pointed out with a smile. She did prefer clients who seemed willing to work on bettering themselves, and it seemed that Charlie was starting to put the work in but just needed a bit of help.
"I have a daughter, her name is Harper, I have pictures if you want to see them," Charlie said after a moment reaching for her phone. "I want to be a good parent to her."
"Is she an omega?" Roz asked, pausing for a moment and looking back down at her intake form, it said that Charlie wasn't mated.
"Yes. I had her with an omega that I slept with. She just showed up at my door nearly three years ago and just handed me a baby and a diaper and left, because her mate didn't want and wouldn't pay for a bastard. Then they found out that my family is wealthy and they want to be her parents now," Charlie says, answering Roz's unasked question. "She's going to start off with visitation."
"Are you doing this to make yourself for court related reasons?" Roz asked.
Charlie shakes her head, "I'm here because I want to be a better parent to Harper. I want to be someone that she can look up to. I'm here because I never ever want to hurt my omega again. I got violent with her— and I nearly did to her what was done to me. I need to be better for the two of them because I know that I can be better, I know I need to be better. I want to give both of them the best parts of me, and I think to do that I need to stop hating myself."
Roz paused for a moment, before her lips quirk upward. Charlie needed the appropriate tools to handle her stressors. "That's good, Charlie, it seems like you're ready and willing to put in the work and that's good. I'm going to go over the rest of the intake form with you, I have a few more questions."
Charlie nods, whatever it took to be the best person for Santana and Harper.
~ O ~
"Is Harper asleep?" Santana asked as Charlie entered her bedroom, she had been renting a tiny two bedroom apartment and had been using the second bedroom as an office until Charlie and Harper had begun to stay over a bit more regularly. Usually she spent time with the Fabrays but the travel meant it only made sense to spend a few days together when they had a few days back to back off.
Charlie nods and takes and slides into bed beside Santana, "You're upset with me." It was best to get it over with now, then later.
"I'm annoyed, I'm not actually upset," Santana corrects. "Why did you need to lie about it? I could have been there for you. I could have waited outside or something."
"I was embarrassed. And I figured if you didn't know I was in therapy you wouldn't be disappointed if it failed. It's why I didn't tell you I'm taking community college classes. Two of them, I thought if I failed at it you wouldn't be upset because you wouldn't know."
Santana places her hands under Charlie's chin and tilts it up gently forcing her alpha to look her in the eye. "Charlie listen to me, I'm happy that you're doing all these things to try and get your life together. You might fail a class, you might need to find a new therapist. That's fine. I might be disappointed, but I'm never going to look at you differently. I want to celebrate your achievements Charlie, just like I want to mourn any losses with you. That's the relationship I want, where we're with each other through the thick and the thin. Understand?" After a moment, Charlie nods causing her to let go of her chin. "I'm proud of you."
"I haven't done anything yet."
"Yes you have, you're going to therapy. You're going to start classes soon—I'm proud of you, even if it's just a step in the right direction. It's a big one, so don't sell yourself short. Now tell me about your day and what schools you saw for Harper? Isn't Marley like a Kindergarten teacher? Like why not ask her for a bit of help."
