Chapter 26

Rachel shared a look with Marley as they watched Santana drain another glass of wine, neither one of them was quite certain what was going on. Ever since that she'd given birth to Beth, she had needed some adult time to unwind, she had invited Santana to these dinners in the past, but this was the first time that she'd ever taken her up on the offer. With a sigh, Rachel decides that the simplest way to get Santana back on solid footing, before she got weepy, would be to simply bite the bullet and ask her what was going on. "Are you and Charlie fighting again?"

Santana shoots Rachel a flat look, "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't having trouble with my alpha. I actually like spending time with her."

"I like spending time with Dani, but it's good to have friends for when Dani is being difficult," Marley offers, sighing.

"Is she being difficult?" Rachel asks sympathetically, she understood that feeling. She had a sneaking suspicion that Santana's presence had Quinn's fingerprints all over it. She suspected this was Quinn's attempt to get her to come home and look after Beth, who still hadn't seemed to bond with her.

"Ever since she got that job with Cassandra, it's like she's been a different person. We talked about this, that after she passed the bar, and she got a job we could start trying to have kids, but now she's saying that we should wait until she makes partner."

"So fucking talk to her, and find out why she wants to wait till she's a partner and then tell her that's not going to work for you, unless it's a very good reason. I can think of a few reasons why it might be a good idea to wait but you need to have a conversation and listen," Santana grumbled. That wasn't a problem it would be a problem after a conversation and they realized that they both wanted different things, but by then she hoped that she had managed to solve her situation with Charlie, so she could go back to being near her alpha.

Rachel groaned, "Santana."

"It's not like Dani doesn't want to start a family she's just asking her to wait. She might have a good reason, she might have a dumb reason, either way it's a conversation. It's not like your supposed mate wants you to be a mother to her kid but can't be bothered to actually mate, which you know would make us the family she supposedly wants!"Santana raged, losing her temper. "It's been months, even you and Quinn didn't wait this long. So what if I tried to push her along!"

"What did you do?" Rachel asks, even though she certainly doesn't want to hear what Santana did.

Santana scoffed, "Is it so wrong to want to actually be with my mate?"

"No, but what did you do?" Marley answers, before asking the question.

"There may have been handcuffs involved, and a panic attack and Charlie getting upset with me because she can mate with trailer trash Mack but she can't do it with me, you know her fated person," Santana muttered, feeling the tears starting to form. She had definitely had one to many glasses of wine tonight, but it fucking hurt. She, Charlie and Harper were supposed to be starting their lives together, yet she wasn't even allowed to attend visitation with them.

Rachel exchanges another look with Marley, "Santana I thought you hated children, in fact you made that abundantly clear when we asked you to be the godmother."

"I don't like children. I think Beth is unbearable. I like Harper. She's like the perfect kid, she's quiet we read together, everyday I'm surprised that Mack was her incubator. I mean I get the smart part, Charlie's intelligent even if she thinks she's not. Perfect kid."

Rachel opened her mouth to defend her daughter, but Marley beat her to the punch. "What changed your mind?"

"I figured if I ever had kids, they'd be crazy and I'd be a terrible mother. Plus I didn't want an alpha that would just use me as a broodmare to have their kids, thus ruining my career. Charlie's shown me that if we were to have kids she'd more than pull her weight when it came to our child. She's also shown me that I'd be a far better mother than Mack. But Mack gets a chance and I'm just—I'm just the babysitter."

"Have you told Charlie that you want to be Harper's mother?" Marley asked.

Santana narrowed her eyes and turned to Marley who had just thrown her words back at her. "I hate you."

"Charlie probably has a good reason to avoid mating," Rachel adds. "You need to put all your cards on the table and then listen to what she has to say, trying to force the issue won't work with her. You know that, I know that, Quinn knows that." She pauses for a moment. "So what was the plan? Like I don't understand how handcuffs and trying to tie her down leads to her mating with you?"

Santana looked at Rachel for a moment before getting up, she needed to go and find her mate and apologize and make her come back home.

~ O ~

Quinn watched as Charlie managed to put Beth down without much fuss, she should feel bad about it, but her twin was good with babies, and seeing as how she had changed Beth's diaper and given her a bath in twenty minutes, she clearly had this thing down. She waits until they manage to exit the room and she sets the baby monitor up, before she decides to press on the topic that many people were curious about but no one dared to ask Charlie. Santana wasn't wrong, no one waited this long to mate after you met your fated pair, and if Charlie couldn't mate like she said she couldn't then it wasn't fair to keep Santana hanging. "Question, do you actually want to mate with Santana?" Quinn asked quietly. When Charlie looks up at her she immediately holds out her hands, "It's been several months now Charlie and you've known Santana for nearly three years. You're fated to be together which makes the fact that you two aren't mated abnormal. Santana crossed a few lines but I mean—she wants to be with you and she got crazy. You of all people should know that letting your instincts and primal urges guide you—"

"That's not fair," Charlie interrupts and looks at Quinn. "You mated with Rachel and things were fine, but Mack severed the bond and I don't think anyone knows quite what that feels like to be rejected after being so vulnerable with someone else. I wasn't—I wasn't in a good place after she broke the bond, I stopped trying to survive really, I'd just work to buy more drugs knowing that I was slowly killing myself. If Harper hadn't come—" Charlie swallows and looks at her twin. "I know that Santana wants to mate, and I'm not angry at her that she wants to mate. I'm angry at her that she thought it was a good idea to try and force me to do it. I don't want Santana to experience what Mack did and sever the bond. I don't even like Mack, and that nearly ruined me. If Santana were to do it, I don't know what I'd do, but I doubt it will be anything good."

"Santana—" Quinn trails off, she didn't actually know what Santana would do. Her best friend was a wild card, "Santana needs to understand why you can't or this will keep happening and you need to find a place to compromise with her on this. Because the length of this courtship is abnormal and I think Santana's finally ready to settle down with you."

"I'm working on it with Roz, it's one of the things that we're actively working on. I'm just not ready yet," Charlie admits, "I just—I would have told her if she was worrying about it."

"Well now you know she's worried about it, so you need to deal with it. You need to talk to her and tell her you're working on it, and try and find something that you can do that will let her know that you are ready to be with her completely even if at this moment you can't mate with her for her own sanity as well as yours. Santana's not completely unreasonable."

"No, she isn't," Charlie says with a smile on her face, it fades after a moment. "There are times when I look at her and I wonder what she's doing with me, she's smart, she's beautiful and well she's Santana. I don't know why she wants to be with someone as damaged as I am, and then I worry that if she sees what's in my head it'll knock me off whatever pedestal she's put me on and she'll leave. Harper adores Santana, and thinks that Santana's her mom, Santana leaving would break her heart, and it would just destroy me. So there is a part of me that desperately wants to bond to Santana immediately so she can never leave, and another part of me is terrified that if I try, she'll reject the bond and leave anyway."

Quinn snorted, "Santana's not going to leave Charlie, she loves you and given all your many—many hangups, she's been surprisingly patient with you. She'll probably stay with you just so she can gross me out by describing your sex-life in detail."

Charlie is quiet for a moment before she smiles and looks at her twin, "Good things?"

Quinn rolls her eyes hard, the two of them were made for each other. "I'm going to grab a beer, do you want one?"

"Quinn you really shouldn't be drinking around them when they're this young and you're the only person who can operate a car legally."

Quinn groaned, Charlie was worse than Rachel. "Whatever, how did you unwind with Harper?"

"I didn't, I watched her sleep and it was terrifying. You know babies randomly stop breathing all the time? Do you know how many times that it happened where I woke Harper up even if she cried, because crying meant that she was alive."

Quinn stared at her twin, "You're going to be one of those parents aren't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Harper's an omega, if Beth were an omega, you wouldn't be having this bonding trouble," Charlie pointed out.

"I hope that when you finally convince Santana to bear your child, it will be an alpha so I can watch you suffer and laugh at you," Quinn muttered under her breath. Then she would laugh at Santana, and think of an irritating nickname.

~ O ~

Santana glanced at the text message that she had gotten from Charlie around noon, asking her when she'd be done work. It was the first time in about five days that Charlie had said anything to her at all and she hoped that it meant that her alpha was either finally ready to talk about it, or Charlie was going to end their relationship. Five days was far shorter than the months that she had to wait for Charlie, and even then she usually needed to seek her alpha out. So this was a first, and it was why she had lied to her and told her that she was going to be back at eight. So if Charlie did stop by she could at least try and tempt Charlie with a home cooked meal and that see through teddy that she seemed to adore.

The past five days had been absolute torture, her apartment felt quiet and empty without Charlie and Harper. She missed them, and had Charlie not contacted her she was planning to drive to the Fabray's on Friday and do whatever it took to get back in Charlie's good graces. Anything and everything, food, sex—whatever it took to get Charlie talking to her again. She sighs again, she had three hours to whip something impressive up. She had invested in an instant pot, and she was sure she could figure out a roast in the time she had. Anything with a lot of meat seemed to be Charlie's favorite.

She opens the door to her apartment, and nearly trips over one of Harper's shoes. That hadn't been there this morning.

"Yucky!"

"I don't like veggies either Harper, but Santana said it will make you grow big and strong. Something about fiber, or whatever." Charlie replies as she adds some frozen veggies to the pasta she was making. It's barely a handful, but it's just enough that hopefully Santana doesn't actually say anything.

"I think we could do with far more veggies than that Charlie," Santana said, crossing her arms as she watched in amusement as both Harper and Charlie looked up at her in shock. She raises a brow at her mate, trying not to smile as Charlie huffs and adds another fistful of frozen peas and carrots. "One more should do it, you don't want to be stingy on the veggies, they're good for you right Harper?"

Harper looks at the veggies and then at her ma, before grinning at Santana and nodding her head. She holds her arms out so her ma can pick her up and put her on the ground and she immediately rushes to Santana wrapping her arms around her legs. "Santa!"

"Harper!" Santana shouts and picks Harper up spinning her around. "I missed you," she said hugging Harper close to her as she enters the kitchen and pauses as she finally takes in the mess that Charlie has made, and it's enough to cause her to go rigid. "Charlie."

Charlie shivered and looked up at her mate. "I wanted to make you dinner, I wanted us to have dinner as a family." When Santana doesn't look impressed Charlie hesitates and tries to figure something else out. "You're home early."

"I thought you were going to stop by, and I wanted to make you dinner and get ready for you," Santana fires back. She wasn't going to let Charlie twist out of the fact that her kitchen looked like it had been hit by a meteor. How she had managed to use this many dishes to make a simple pasta was concerning. It was sweet that Charlie was attempting to do something nice for her, but it was ruined by the giant mess in the kitchen. She puts Harper down and motions for Charlie to step away from the stove, so she could take a look at what she was doing. The pasta looked good, but she can't help but take over. "It's sweet that you wanted to help but I would rather prefer you to be the one that does the dishes, and takes out the trash."

Charlie puffed out her cheeks. "I wanted to do something nice for you."

"And I appreciate it, but my kitchen," Santana shoots back. She glances at the pasta for a moment before sighing, "You finish making it and I'll start cleaning up, and the next time you want to do something nice for me take out the trash. I hate doing it."

Charlie nodded and headed back to her pasta and drained it. She glances at Santana who has begun to clean up as Harper quickly grows bored and grabs her tablet to watch some of her programs. Charlie drains the water and adds the sauce, before swallowing. "I do want to mate with you. That's why it's one of the things I'm working on with Roz. It was important to me, but I'm not ready yet. I'm sorry."

Santana freezes as she's about to put away all the measuring cups that Charlie had used, she had no idea why Charlie needed to use that many to make pasta, but she wasn't going to question her alpha on her measuring cup use. "I should be the one apologizing to you, I got jealous of Mack and I had the bright idea to make the three of us into a family. I was worried that I'd screw up Harper, that I'd be a terrible parent. But I mean you're giving Mack another chance, and she abandoned her. I know I could never do that to any kid I had, and so what if my kid has a foul mouth? There are worse things in the world."

"You shouldn't teach Harper all the bad words you know Santana," Charlie said flatly. When Santana looks at her she can't help but smile. "At least not the English ones, until she's old enough to use them responsibly."

"I've gotten better at not swearing in front of her!" Santana looks over at where Harper is ignoring them as she claps along to whatever show she was watching. She smiles at her and takes a breath deciding to repeat herself so Charlie heard her. "I want to be a family with you and Harper."

"We're already a family, even if I haven't mated with you," Charlie points out as she begins to mix in the sauce that she had gotten.

Santana smiled at how easily Charlie had said it but she needed to be clear. "I meant I want to be Harper's mother."

Charlie dropped the plastic tub of alfredo sauce and turned to Santana, "What?"

"I love Harper, Charlie, how could I not, she's all the best parts of you. I get overprotective of her, and the thought of Mack getting the title of mother when I've been around longer, when I've been there longer—"

"She already thinks that you're her mom," Charlie interrupts. "When I introduced Mack she thought you were coming and got disappointed. I didn't know how to—I thought you'd be upset and try and pull away from her, so I kept it to myself."

"She thinks I'm her mom?" Santana whispers looking at Harper who still wasn't paying attention to either of them. Tears spring into her eyes and she immediately wipes them away and clears her throat. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you made it very clear that you didn't want to be her mother, but she loves you Santana. There are some days I think she loves you more than she loves me."

"Of course she does," Santana said with a huff. "I'm her mom." She's tempted to go up to Harper and hug her but she knew from experience that when Harper got into her tablet, she preferred to be left alone. "What are you going to do about Mack?"

"Nothing, Mack has an uphill battle if she wants Harper to love her like she loves you. I'm just being civil to her and making sure that she's at least doing her best," Charlie said with a shake of her head. She wasn't worried about Mack influencing her daughter, Harper didn't seem that interested in getting to know her.

Santana huffed at this, it wasn't what she wanted to hear, but she doubted that Mack would be willing to sign away her parental rights just yet. But she needed to make sure that she never lost the top spot in Harper's heart to Mack of all people. "The house is too quiet without you and Harper, so even if you get mad at me please don't leave. Please don't take her away from me, if you're upset I'll sleep on the couch just don't leave. I want to wake up next to you every day, and I want to see Harper every day too so—"

"I was going to talk to you about that," Charlie interrupts, rubbing the back of her neck. "My parents have a few properties around the city. I talked to my mom about possibly maybe renting one from them? It'll be way below market value, mom promised me that it wouldn't be a financial burden for the two of us. Harper goes to school here, my gym is here, and you'd be closer to your hospital—mom also said that if none of the properties work for us, she doesn't mind making dad invest in a property that does."

Santana blinks, she had known the Fabray's were wealthy, but Quinn had never exactly told her how wealthy they were. "What?"

"We can also find a place of our own, but I don't have that much money Santana and really the nice places are farther out for what I can afford with you. I don't want you to spend most of your time commuting, you already spend a lot of it commuting now, and it would be nice if the hospital were a few blocks away. I don't mind commuting to the gym everyday. But I would rather you and Harper—"

Santana switched off the stove and pulled Charlie into a deep kiss. "I love you," she says after coming up for air.

Charlie wraps her arms around Santana's waist, wanting more but the smell of her sauce burning is enough to get her to pull away, "Santana! You can't distract me while I'm cooking. We already know how bad I am at it. And Harper's right there!"

Santana turns to look at Harper who hasn't paid them any mind and she rolls her eyes before taking a seat beside Harper, she could clean her kitchen at any given moment. "Harper," she says drawing Harper's attention away from the tablet for a moment. "Do you want cake or pie for dessert? What about ice cream?"

"Ice cream!" Harper shouts excitedly.