Hey readers, I just want to say I hope everyone had a good holidays. I know I did =)
Wow 104 followers! I just want to say thank you for liking my story.
I'm in Kim's car with my knees to my chest and my head on the window looking out of it. As we drive farther away from Emmett's house, I felt the hole in my heart get bigger and bigger. How can I still love him with everything I found out? Fuck how could I have slept with him and just left a note? I know that's going to kill him. Ever if I still want to be with him, he would never forgive me.
Kim hasn't said anything to me the whole ride. After we got back I told her I would talk to her later and thanks for the ride home. I slowly turn my key and open the door. I walk in and everything brings back memories of good times of him. I close the door and slide to the ground with my back to the door. I started to cry like a fucking baby. I've never been one of those girls who cry over a guy but maybe because it's the first time I've really been in love with the guy.
The funny thing is everyone thinks that I am so strong, but I'm not as strong as they think I am. After an hour I get up and take a shower to make myself feel better. But when I started to think about him, I fall apart all over again. The rest of the day I lay in bed crying. I even called in sick to work and I never called in sick, even if I really am sick. My cell phone kept going off all day but I never went and see who it was. I had a feeling that I knew who it was and I'm not ready to talk to him.
The next day I get up and walk around. I pick up my cell phone and there were 20 missed calls. Some were from Kim and Seth but most were from Emmett. He left some messages, I played the first one.
"Bells, I know you need your time to think stuff over but to leave the way you did. Was that really the right way to do it? Please call me back so we can talk about this. ….. I love you."
He sounded so hurt and scared. It almost made me cry again. After the sixth message he started to get madder because I wasn't picking up. I played the last one and it almost killed me.
"Bella, you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, who doesn't complicate your life, and someone who won't hurt you. That man is me. I'll leave you alone until you're ready to talk to me…..One more thing Bells I love you and I know you're the one for me…... I'll wait for you… forever."
With that I fell again to the ground holding my heart and started crying again. How can he be this bad guy? When he says stuff like that to me? God I'm so confused about all of this. I needed to talk to someone and I know who. I send a text and just waited.
An hour after I sent that text Kim was holding me and letting me cry on her. I told her everything, from seeing him killing a man to having sex with him and leaving. At first she was pissed and yelled at me for being so damn dumb. But after she could see I really did love him, she just held me and let me cry. After I was done crying, we could really talk about stuff.
"SO what are you going to do?" She asked me
"I don't know" I said in a small voice.
She pulls me close to her. "Aww honey you don't have to make up your mind right now. I mean you're leaving for your home town here soon right?" I sat up and looked at her and I just nodded at her. She was right maybe going there will clear my mind up.
The next week went by fast. As I set off the airplane, I felt at peace and safe at last. When I was sitting at the airport waiting for Seth, who was late picking me up, I called Kim to tell her I get in okay. She still hasn't said too much and, I very thankful for that .But I still can tell she was worrying about me.
After I get off the phone with her, I heard someone calling my name. I turn around and saw an all grown up Seth. I ran to him and gave him a big hug.
"Sorry Bell, I kind of got busy with someone" He said with a big smile.
"Yea well your lucky I love you." I told him as I throw one of my bags in his arms.
On the car ride to my dad's Seth told me about what's been going on in his life. He and his girlfriend of three years are still going good. It's sad when your eighteen year old brother has better luck in love then you.
As I get out of the car I look around. It felt so nice to be back in this small town. It's quiet and peaceful unlike the city, but I still love the city life. I walk into my old room and look around. Everything is still the same as I left it. That's what I love about coming back home everything is still the same.
I threw my bags on the bed and sat next to them. I pull out my cell phone no one called me. Emmett kept his word. I knew the way I left was going to hurt him but I just couldn't face him. I needed time to think everything over and if I told him that to his face, I knew I would back down and jump back in bed with him. God…I love that man.
"There's my baby girl." I look up and saw my dad in his cop uniform. I jump off the bed and run into his arms. I know I always say I can take care of my own but I need my daddy! I just need that everything with be okay hug. He always gives me them when something is wrong.
My dad pulls back and looks into my eyes. "Hey kid are you okay?" he asks
"Yea dad just tired that all." I said with smile
After I took a little nap I watched the game with Seth and dad. Being around my dad feels like old times. After I helped Sue gets dinner ready. We just sat around the table talking about my book and the city and about Seth and his big day. Which is coming in a week, I still can't believe he's done with high school. I remember him bitching about it on the first day and I had to pull him out of truck and walk him to his first class.
The next day I woke up and got ready to go shopping with Seth and his girlfriend Vanessa. They told me about going to school together and plans they had come up with. They were so cute together. They couldn't keep their hands off each other. I wish I had Emmett with me.
The week went by and it was the day Seth was going to be done with high school forever. I walked pass his room and he was getting mad with his tie. I walk into his room.
"Need help? " I ask with a smile
He turns around look at me. "Umm yea thanks"
I walk over to him and start fixing his tie. "So happy it's all over?"
"To tell you the truth I'm scared shitless. I mean high school is all I know and now I'm leaving it."
"I know that feeling. I had it when I left here for NY."
"Really!? I mean you never show it. You were so calm when you left."
I finished his tie and step back to take a look at him. "When you guys dropped me off I went right into the bathroom and threw up about four times." I laugh "Seth you'll be fine." He smiles at me and I pull him in a big hug.
I sat there with Sue and dad as Seth walked across the stage. I was so happy for him, I felt my eyes watering. I'm not really the person to cry at these things but I couldn't help myself. I was so proud. Seth's party went off without any problems. Everyone one had a good time. But even with all the people there, I still feel all alone.
As I laid in bed that night knowing I only had a week left here and I still have no idea what I'm going to do. I mean being around my family opened my eyes to what I could lose if I'm with Emmett. But on the other hand seeing Seth, Sue and my dad being happy in love, I wanted that so much and I know I can have that with Emmett. Before I realized what I was doing I had my phone next to my ear and heard Emmett's voice.
"Hello it's Emmett." He said half asleep
"Umm hi" I said in small voice.
"BELLA!" he said as he jump awake "Are you okay? Its 4 am?" He asks worrying.
I hang up on him so fast and I know it was. But just by hearing his voice, I knew I wasn't ready to talk to him.
"God I'm a dumb ass" I thought to myself as I run my hand through my hair. I jump out of my skin as I heard my phone going off. I look at the caller Id and it was Emmett. After I let it ring, it went to voice mail. Before it could ring again I turn off my cell phone.
As I laid there I kept thinking… Will I ever be ready to face him or even hear his voice? Or I'm going to keep hiding from him.
When I did finally did get to sleep. I was woken up four hours later. By Seth yelling he going out with his friends and he would be back on Monday. I threw my pillow over my head and hoped I could go to sleep. It didn't work and my dad came in an hour later. Asking me if I could help him with something's outside.
I told him I will be out in hour and I wanted to get dressed and call Kim. After I get a fast shower, I walked over to my phone and turn it on. There were two messages but I didn't listen to them. I called Kim to check in but she wasn't home. Then it hit me today was the day her and Jared were going to look at houses. When she found out that Eddie was Emmett's brother, she wanted out of there fast. If I was her I would do the same thing.
When I walked out I saw my dad taking down the tents from the party. He looks over his shoulder and just smiles.
"Sit kid" he said as he pointed to the seat. I sat down and he sat next to me. "Okay what's going on?" He asks
"Nothing dad."
"Well that's some bullshit. I know there's something. You haven't been yourself. I mean Seth's been picking on you and you didn't hit him or joke back. It's a boy isn't?" I just look at him how does he know these things?
I just nodded at him. "Do I need to come to the city with my shot gun?" He said with a laugh. If only he knew.
"No dad, have you ever been in love with someone who you shouldn't have in the first place?" I ask
"Yes, your mother, I knew she was no good for me but I listened to my little friend more than my brain."
"Ewww dad, I didn't need to hear that." I said throwing my hand up onto my face.
"Hey you asked kido."
"Dad I met this sweet, smart, hot and all over great guy."
"But" He says
"He didn't tell me truth about everything about him. "
"Do you love this guy?"
"Yes." I said in a heart beat
"Well there you go. Whatever it is can't be that bad. You can say yes to loving him, without even thinking, that's more than what I was able to do when it came to your mother. Baby girl, relationships are like diamond's you don't realize how much it means to you until it's broken. And it seems like this man means more than you think he does." He gets up and put his hand on my shoulder. "Bells listen to your heart. It does tell you everything you need to know."
I look up at him." When did you get so smart?"
"Sometimes I forget the newspaper and I read some of Sue's book" He said as he walks away.
Later that night I find myself at the beach. I was looking at the water move. Along the land and just thinking about everything maybe my dad had a point. I don't have to think about if I love him. I know I want to be with him and no else. I know what I'm going to do. I going to call Emmett and tell him I love and want to be with him.
I stand up on my feet and turn around. Then my heart stops when I see Emmett standing there. He had his arms crossed in front of him and it looks like he hasn't slept at all. If looks could kill I would be dead already.
SO what do to think?
Leave some comets for me and let me know
and thanks for reading.
Allie
