Emailing Liza
Chapter 1: First Email
Dear Uncle Noah,
This is Kurt Hummel's daughter, Liza Marie Anderson. My Dada Kurt gave me your email address, so I'm contacting you from Juvie. After I beat up several lads for taunting Aunt Unique, my Grandpa Anderson had me placed in here, and thanks to him, I'll be here till I'm eighteen! Plus, I'll be joining the military after that, and I won't be able to stop it! Look, Uncle Noah, I wanted to join the military, but not for reasons like these! Grandpa Anderson was given custody of me because he believed Dada and Papa were negative influences on me. Grandpa Burt attempted to stop Grandpa Anderson, but Grandpa Anderson had more money and friends in law enforcement! The jackasses paid attention to Grandpa Anderson and I only got to write to you because you went here when you were younger. I can't even see Grandpa Burt, Grandma Carole, Dada Kurt, or Papa Blaine! Auntie Tana, Auntie Quinnie, Mama Rachel, Auntie Cedes, Auntie Tina, and Auntie Britney! Plus, they can't even write to me! Uncle Jake is my only visitor because he is your brother and had been here too.
Uncle Noah, that wasn't the first fight I was in, but it was the first time I protected someone else, and I'm already being compared to you or Uncle Jake in here! The other fights were over my dada and papa or Auntie Britney when Auntie Tana wasn't around to have her back. By the way, Grandpa Anderson doesn't know this, but you are my only godparent and I told the judge I wanted to go into the Air Force. So, hopefully, when I get the fuck out of here I'll be sent where you are. I already have been in solitary confinement three times and beat the shit out of girls or guys twice my size. I even sent a guy to the hospital, but I wasn't happy about it. The guy tried to pick a fight with another guy and I pummeled the shit out of him, literally. Lol, I even made him piss himself and I earned the nickname Little She-Hulk after saying to the guy, "Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." But the fact that I was a five-year-old girl made me not enjoy it. Yeah, it's funny, but I shouldn't have done it!
By the way, before you say anything about my age. I know that you have to be ten to be here, but as I said, Grandpa Anderson arranged this. I just don't understand why because I was just trying to be a protector, not a bully! Furthermore, I know you were a bully before you were a protector. But I was only trying to be a protector! Not a bully! Look, Uncle Noah, I know you and Uncle Jake aren't bullies anymore. But the fact that my Grandpa Anderson thinks that I am a bully and a troublemaker pisses me off! Sorry, if I am venting, but this is the first time in the last two fucking months that I was allowed to vent without someone standing over me! I can understand why you hated this fucking place and why you were always pissed off when you were a bully. The only difference between us was that I was fighting stronger guys. LOL, Uncle Dave doesn't count, I'm sure. Don't tell him I said that.
Anyway, your name is on the visitor's list and I really don't mind if you don't come to see me. But there is only so much I can talk about with Uncle Jake. Ha, I think he only visits, so I don't get lonely, and by the way. I am glad you're not like your idiot sperm donor of a father. Plus, he came to see me too! Your mom knows because I wrote to her about it. Grandpa Anderson set it up for former inmates to come to see me, and he was one. As soon as I learned who he was, I yelled at him for thirty minutes. LOL, yes, I said, thirty minutes! Anyways, I told him about all the things you told Dada Kurt and all the stories I heard from Auntie Quinn and Auntie Tana. I even called him a Lima Loser for you. After I chewed him out, some guy started fighting with his visitor and I punched your dad between the legs before running back to my bed. Of course, that didn't last long as I was dragged back to solitary, and I threw a fit. Look, I know your dad wanted to be a musician and left your mom, so he could. But from what he told me, he had just become a drunk and a criminal. He was trying to make it sound like your mom got pregnant with you and Sarah on purpose. I don't even know why he was telling me any of it. I do know I am too smart to be here and my Grandpa Anderson told my papa if I skipped any grades. I get no inheritance from him because if I cheat myself out of a proper education! Well, then he sees no reason to give me money I didn't earn!
Sorry, for my verbal vomit, but since you, and Uncle Jake are the only two people I can talk to. I am going crazy in here and talking to kids that seem to have fewer brain cells than I do just sucks. LOL, sorry, I know. I probably sound like dada right now. Well, go,t to go, some pea-brain decides to choose this moment to start a fight in the computer room.
Your Niece Liza Marie The Little She-Hulk
P. S. Grandpa Burt has Grandpa Anderson's number if you want to "Go All Hulk" on him for me.
A week later, Liza Marie entered the visitors' area, and saw Noah Puckerman sitting at a table in his uniform, saying, "Uncle Noah, I am glad you are here. If you want I'll call you Uncle Puck while I'm here. Ha, you are a legend here and when some older boys found out you were my 'uncle' I got extra food at lunch, and I was able to sneak that letter to your mom out."
Noah chuckles and says, "Little Princess, breathe okay, and you can call me Uncle Puck if you want. By the way, I didn't even know you were here until I got your email, and thanks to some people I know I am your new guardian. I tried to get you out of here sooner, but I was told because of the fights you were in. You will just have to ride this out a little longer and I did 'Go All Hulk' on your Grandpa Anderson. By the way, Liza Marie, I know you beat the shit out of my sperm donor, of a father. "
After Noah says this, three teenage boys that looked to be about thirteen come up to Liza Marie and one says, "Little She-Hulk, sorry we interrupted your computer time last week and sorry for teasing your dads and your aunt."
Then the boys turn to Puck and say, "Little She-Hulk beat us up three times and her Grandpa Anderson only saw her protect a trans-girl from us. Anyway, her grandpa knows she was protecting all of them from us but still had her sent here. By the way, my dad had to go to Dalton after getting into trouble and let's just say her papa came close to coming here before he went to Dalton. Ha, I am the boy that pissed and shit himself."
Noah laughs before saying, "Well, she won't be here forever, and I am her new guardian." Then he turned to Liza Marie and said, "Liza Marie, please don't get mad, but your dads have been beaten to death a month ago, and until you sent me that email no one was told where you were. Jake and Grandpa Burt were the only ones that knew you were here but were threatened by Grandpa Anderson to keep quiet, but they emailed me telling me what was going on. Grandpa Burt tried to get custody of you but was denied. So, he asked me to, and thanks to my connections you'll get more visitors soon. By the way, my dad called my mom after being yelled at by you and she didn't know you were the girl that yelled at dad until she got your letter. Plus, Little She-Hulk, Auntie Tana tried to get Grandpa Anderson to get you out of here, but he refused to do anything. "
Liza Marie got red in the face before Noah hugged her and said, "Look, Liza Marie, the earliest I could get you out of here was in ten years, and Quinn is looking forward to you coming to live with us. Now, I have to go, and one more thing I am bringing Grandpa Burt along with Mama Rachel with me next week. Plus, I gave everybody else your email address, so you can email them later."
After the visit, Liza Marie was sitting on her bed crying when she heard someone fighting in the game room and went to see what was going on.
Chapter 2 will be up soon, and I don't really know how young kids have to be here in the US to be sent to Juvie, but I heard a ten-year-old girl from Australia was sent to Juvie after killing a boy. Anyway, I know Mark did a shitty thing, but I am still a fan, and I am trying to start a Pliza father-daughter pairing
