Author's note; Just reposting a work from AO3...Just to let you know, the update on this one won't come soon since I am working on other things, nut still you guys can enjoy this short little thing for now. Enjoy.

Lexie Grey is sitting on the floor of the residents lounge, crumbled up in a tiny ball created by her own body, feeling a deep tightening in her throat, as she so desperately tried to even out and steady her own breaths.

Deep sobs have been escaping her for something that by now, felt like an eternity, her face covered with shaky hands. Her lips trembled as she cried, and she started to chew onto her lower lip, not knowing how else to control the quiet, desperate gasps that have been escaping her for some time now.

A flood of tears gushed down her ashen cheeks, as now her entire body started to shake, Lexie having zero control over it. It felt as if the soul could bleed an ocean through her exhausted, flustered eyes. That was the enormity of her sobs. Her brain went over it so many times.

How did I let this happen?

It was her fault. Nobody else's. She is the one who did wrong, the one who didn't wait for her attending and listened to her sister instead. Her sister, a woman she would have trusted with her own life, a woman who she loves and respects, a sister she cherishes with every bit of herself... but also - a woman who isn't that much more experienced than Lexie herself.

Lexie always knew that there were risks when she decided that she wanted to study medicine. She understood the exact same thing, when she had decided that she wanted to become a surgeon. She understood every part of it. Back then, when she was an intern, her biggest fear was not to hurt anybody, as she tried to learn what she had always wanted to do most. And that is to help people.

To save people.

But what she had done today - that wasn't helping. That didn't help anybody. What Lexie Grey had done today - ruined a girl's life. Ruined a girl's chance to have a normal - happy life. And there is nobody else to blame, but Lexie herself.

That girl - that wonderful young woman, had so much more to live through, to experience - She had a whole life waiting for her, and she still does.

And she was supposed to be fine.

She should have been okay.

That surgery should have helped her...made her better - not made her life a living hell.

And again - it's only Lexie's fault that the surgery went the way it did.

Lexie Grey is the one responsible of the fact that a girl lost her ability to speak. She lost her voice. She lost such an important part of herself and - she will never be able to get it back.

It's all her fault. She shouldn't have done anything by herself back there.

She shouldn't have listened to anyone else but Derek.

She shouldn't have endangered a young girl's life.

She should have known better.

Hell, she did know better.

She doesn't understand what exactly came over her.

Lexie is a smart person. If it wasn't for Meredith and her encouraging words, about how Lexie is capable enough to do it -how she is great and experienced for something 'as small' as this - she probably would have waited. She should have waited and - everything would have been just like it was supposed to be. Everything would have went perfectly.

But, ofcourse - there's no point in blaming Meredith either.

Meredith trusted her. She was convinced that Lexie was able to do it. That she would do it, and that she would do it just perfectly. And she failed.

She failed Derek...

She failed Meredith...

But the worst of all - Lexie Grey failed herself.

Mark Sloan is walking by the locker rooms when he hears a woman sobbing. His ears perk when they pick up the sound—so heartbroken but somehow - oddly familiar.

Curious, he glances in the intern's locker room, but there's just a few doctors busy studying, as if they're deaf to this woman's 't they hear it?

He crosses the hall, looking into the attendings' lounge, but he finds it empty, just like he expected. Only the resident's locker room is left.

The sound of the pain regulating throughout the room gets clearer with every single step he makes, until he reaches the door and realizes just why the voice felt as familiar as it did, and who exactly it was that was suffering so badly.

"Lex-" Mark begins, only to have his voice catch in his throat when the woman on the floor looks up. There are streaky tears falling down her face in droves, smudging her makeup. Mark has to blink a couple of times before speaking again.

"What happened?" He whispers, looking over to her as he takes a seat next to her.

Mark sits down beside the girl he's loved for so long, memories rushing back over him like a tidal wave. Her tears remind him of all the times he's held her while she cries. And all the times he wasn't able to because he was the cause of those tears.

Lexie doesn't say a word, just tries to wipe off the remaining tears. She then tries to hold them back in, but with a rather poor attempt, as they peak up through her eyes once more, letting her fall apart.

"Lex...please, what's wrong?" He tries again, lifting his arm up and spreading it around her back, doing what's natural to him, not caring about the consequences.

"The patient..." she manages, looking over at him "I - oh, Mark, I-" but she can't finish what she started.

She is trembling more than he ever witnessed for all these years he'd known her, and knew that the only thing he had to do was hold her tighter, allowing her to let it all out, but still make her feel safe in his arms, no matter what she would think of it later.

She wasn't okay.

And he was there for her. No matter what.

No matter the crap that was happening between them.

No matter how awkward they were with eachother whenever their eyes met.

No matter the price.

Nothing is as important as her well-being. Nothing.

"Hey, hey..." he starts, whispering in her ear "Shh...calm down, Lex...Calm down." Mark murmurs against her hair. "I ruined her...it was - my fault that..." she shakes her head, wiping her eyes. "Okay, wait, calm down first. Breathe, Lexie." He starts slowly "Breathe and then...after you do that, you can tell me what happened." He tells her gently, trying to be as careful as possible with her. "It's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay." He assures her, her body still trembling slightly in his arms.

She tried her best to breathe, to relax herself and her body, but with no use. With every single try, she felt even worse, even more disappointed in herself and the world, and what she has done.

Mark did the only natural thing left for him to do. He picked his hand up and brought it closer to her head. He let her body crash against his chest and started to lightly pass his fingers through her long, silky hair, remembering the time when she had done the same for him, and told him that's what she loves to be done for her when she's hurt.

And she was hurt now.

And he was there to make her feel better.

He understands that it might not be his place anymore, especially after everything they've been through - but the man couldn't stop his worry...he couldn't help himself- he only knew that he would do whatever he could in order to make her feel better, even if she decides to resent him more later on.

Lexie also realized that it might be stupid to lean onto Mark for help, after all the suffering she already went through because of him and him only. All the sleepless nights and the tears that she had shed only because she missed him.

Yes it might be stupid. But also - she is more than glad that he is the one who showed up. That he is the one who is whispering in her ear at this very moment and the one who is holding her so tightly, as if he never wanting to let go. The one who is stroking her hair so gently - just the way she likes it the most.

"She lost her voice Mark...her voice..." she half-sobs, trying to avoid his worried gaze. His forhead creases "What do you-"

"T-the patient...she might never...speak again and - it's..." She takes a shaky breath, her violently-shaking hand still in front of her face. "- it's all my fault."

"I'm sorry, Lex," Mark murmurs. "That's hard." He knows this isn't a time to reason with her. This isn't a time to say 'Oh, I'm sure you didn't.' This isn't a time to say 'It will get easier; you will forget.' He can tell from her tone that she's past that. No, this is a time to face the facts.

"Why do you say it was you who did it tho? I am sure Derek had a big part in it too Lex, you can't only blame yourself-"

"But I did do it myself." She snaps, looking up. "It's not Derek's fault, it's mine and mine only...I - I can't believe I could have...let this happen, I - I shouldn't have listened to Meredith and -oh, god..." She turns her head, her watery eyes meeting his as her hand falls to her lap.

'Meredith? Where did Meredith come from?' Mark thinks to himself.

"What do you mean Meredith? What does she have to do with any of this?" He questions, a little confused by the sudden mention of his best friend's wife. "

She - was with me. In the OR. She was with me and she -" she tries to speak, her tears soaking up his shirt. "She told me to do it...I am an idiot. I should have never-" she sniffs, trying her best to compose the sobs.

"But - wait, Lexie, where was Derek at the time? Did you - operate yourself? I can't follow you-" he tries, not understanding half of what she is saying.

"Derek wasn't there - it was...just me and her. She told me I can do it, that i can...manage" she breathes out "And I listened to her, I - oh, Mark i should have never listened to her...I did something - horrible."

"Oh, Lex..." he starts, holding her a little tighter than before, realization coming over him. "You shouldn't have done that."

"I know. I know that I shouldn't have...I don't know what came over me or - what the hell I was thinking. I didn't want for this to happen, I...I didn't want to-" she sniffs, as more tears escape her eyes.

"I know. I know you didn't. Ofcourse you never wanted that." He tells her quietly, still stroking her hair, knowing that those were never her intentions.

"I ruined a girl's life, Mark...I - I ruined her life..." she whispers, her voice painfully broken.

"Hey, hey..."Mark closes his eyes, not being able to think or see past the sorrow written all over her face "Listen to me, Lex." He forces her to look up, her face now in the possession of his hands

"You are a surgeon Lex. A surgeon. Okay? And - it can't go perfectly every time. You know? It - it just can't. Sometimes it just doesn't go the way we planned. And the patient suffers. You know that Lexie, you know that." He starts, trying his best to make her better

"And you did something wrong. You did, and yes it happened. And I am sorry, but that's just the way it is. I can't do anything about it...you can't do anything about it...But Lex, understand this - It was a mistake. A mistake you will not repeat again. You learned from it, and you won't allow yourself to do the same thing ever again. Are we clear?" He questions, or rather demands, trying his best to assure her with his words.

She tries to reach out to him, but her muscles aren't cooperating and her hand dangles halfway between their faces, like an olive branch. In her tearful and obviously terrified state, he tries not to see it as such.

"B-but...what if I am just - not cut out for Neuro? Maybe I should...just give up on it...This clearly shows that - I am not capable of doing it...or doing it right at all, so...maybe..."

"Oh bulshit!" Mark interrupts, completely separating himself from her body. His sudden tone scares Lexie a little bit, making her shiver, goosebumps spreading around her body.

"Lexie, I watched you operate. I know how good you are. I know how talented you are. Please, don't let this stop you in doing what you love - it was one mistake Lexie, and..."

"A mistake that ruined someone's life." She yells, standing up abruptly. She quickly comes to the realization of how loud she was, and how she let all her feelings get in the way at her place of employment, which was unacceptable, making her cover her mouth with her hands right after as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Lex...it's not like you are the first one this ever happened to. It happens. You seriously think that Derek didn't make any mistakes back when he was a resident? Do you really think so?" He questions, still not moving from where he was before, looking up at the figure now standing up a couple of feet in front of him.

"I...that doesn't matter Mark, because-"

"Yes, it does matter." He cuts her off mid-sentence, shock spreading across Lexie's reddened face "Because you need to understand - that you made a mistake and that you can't let it stop you in doing what you love. Derek killed a person when he was a resident for God's sake, and yet did he give up? There he is, teaching you. That girl - at least she is alive. She didn't die. Yes, you - you messed her up, but - she's gonna be okay. You did your best. It turned out the way it did. End of story."

"I...I should have waited for Derek." She says, sitting back down and grabbing a tissue in order to wipe her tears off.

"Yes. Yes you should have." He confirms, not wanting to fight with her on this one. Because she is right.

"You should have waited for him - and you sure as hell shouldn't have listened to Meredith." He sighs deeply. "But it happened." He tells her slowly. "And here we are now. We can't do anything about it now. You just - you have to get over it. You have to be better...tomorrow." He lays a hand on her arm, just lightly touching her.

"He was so mad-" she starts, remembering the rage and the disappointment Derek had in her when he told her about what happened. The way he looked at her. The way she could notice how something was so terribly wrong before he even got the chance to speak at all.

"He was so disappointed in me..." Mark closes his eyes, not being able to think or see past the sorrow written all over her face.

"He'll get over it." He tells her simply, taking her outstretched hand within his. "You think so?" She asks hopeful, sniffing again.

"I'm sure so." He takes her arm, applying light pressure so she'll meet his eyes. When she does, he repeats the phrase, waiting for her confirmation "I'm sure. He'll forget about it."

When she nods, he relaxes. She watches him, and, before she has a second to think, she's jumped forward, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tight.

Mark pauses, shocked, but soon his arms are around her as well. He holds her tightly, not quite believing this is real, before she pulls back slowly, her eyes locked with his.

"Thank you." She tells him suddenly "For being here for me - for helping me. I'm - glad you showed up." And she is. She can't be more glad that he is the one trying so hard to make her feel better.

"I'm glad I showed up too." He murmurs closing his eyes for a moment and sending her a small smile with the words.

"Yeah?" Lexie whispers, her voice still so painfully broken.

"Yeah...yeah I am."

He is the one who wraps his arms around her this time, letting her face fall deeply into the crock of his neck. The tears welled up in her eyes again, creating this numbing emotion within her, Mark being able to feel her sadness in a matter of seconds just by feeling the sudden movements of her head against his skin.

"Hey, hey..." he tries "Please, Lex, I told you it will be fine-"

"I know...I know - I just..." she inhales, trying to compose herself, knowing that she had put Mark through too much trouble with her emotions already.

"I can't stop - thinking about it and I...sorry, I just...I feel so bad for what I did, still..." Mark cocks his head to the side, as if thinking.

"Do you trust me?" He asks suddenly, standing up and casually putting his hands into his pockets. Lexie is a bit stunned, but doesn't take too long to reply.

"I...yeah, I guess-" she answers, confused, as she twiddles her fingers.

"Let's go then."he tells her, grabbing her hand in order to pull her up from the floor.

"W-what? Where?" Lexie asks dramatically, trying not to pay too much attention to the fact that he was still holding her hand, even if by now she was already up on her feet.

"I won't tell you. Just get changed. I will...well - make you feel better. Let's just put it that way." He tells her, as she wipes her teary face with the back of her hand.

"You don't - Mark, you don't have to. It's - it's really not that big of a deal, I don't want to make you waste your time on me..."

"No" he interrupts abruptly "I don't have to... but - I want to. Just - just trust me on this one, okay?" He pleades, letting go of her hand this time, thinking that it would make her feel too uncomfortable if he continued to hold it as tight as he did.

Little did he know, it made her feel just the opposite.

"But - where do you wanna take me?" She asks, too curious not to push it.

"Just get out of those scrubs." Mark exclaims "I'll wait for you."