Chapter 13 - Mahoney
Mahoney's face was drawn into a smile as his eyes scanned the car, moving across our poorly covered bodies.
"Lieutenant Harris; I never thought I'd see the day," Mahoney said, making eye contact with the man who was formerly his instructor and shaking his head in disbelief.
"What do you mean?" Harris replied suspiciously.
"Well, you always told me that nobody screws with you." He shrugged good-naturedly. "Guess you changed your mind."
"Very funny, Mahoney," Harris snarled, his voice trailing off once he realized how stupid it was to be angry right now. Finally he seemed to realize that Mahoney was no push-over. He looked down, flattening the pants over his bottom half as he tried to control his sudden trembling. I looked at his bare leg to see that he had goosebumps. "This is all just a misunderstanding, Mahoney," Harris muttered. "I, uh, should've taken her back to my house, instead of parking here. We all make mistakes that that, though, you know?"
"Right," Mahoney said with an easy smile. "You forget that I used to be a valet. I turned rude customers' cars into my love shack all the time."
I saw Harris begin to chuckle. It seemed as if the threat of punishment was wearing away and I even found my heart slowing down.
"What I'm wondering is," Mahoney said, turning to Zed, "what was going on just before I came over here? I saw Officer Zed being slammed up against the car."
"That's right! He—he threatened me and grabbed me so he could take my camera," Zed said, pointing accusingly at Harris. "He went all… crazy on me."
"You'd know all about that, Zed," Harris muttered with total disdain, rolling his eyes.
"Now, now, Lieutenant Harris," Mahoney chided, "these are serious accusations. You do know that assaulting a police officer is a felony."
Harris's head shot up and his eyes turned to lock on Mahoney's. He was in a particularly vulnerable position and couldn't get up in Mahoney's face or even walk away. We were stuck.
"You kiddin' me?" Harris remarked. "I just wanted the damn camera." He pointed angrily at Zed. "He—he flashed that damn thing in my face and near blinded me."
"Sir, it was his job to take your picture," Mahoney replied in a patronizing tone. "He needed to obtain evidence to prove that you did what you were being charged with. Now, grabbing a police officer who is in the process of citing you and pulling them up against your car is assault, plain and simple."
"That may be, Sir, but you are forgetting that I am a police officer," Harris snapped back, looking totally arrogant, even as he sat with no pants on. "The rules don't apply to me, Mahoney, but nice try."
"In fact," Mahoney stated, "according to our city code, unless the assault happens within the context of a heated argument or a personal dispute, the offender is held under the same law as a civilian."
"Well, it was a heated argument then," Harris muttered, an obvious desperation in his voice. "I wanted the camera and he didn't wanna give it to me." He glanced over at me with a hint of fear in his eyes. I didn't want him to get fired or go to prison.
"Please, Captain Mahoney," I blurted. "I think that Lieutenant Harris thought that Officer Zed was just kidding."
"Well, I wasn't!" Zed shot. Mahoney turned to him briefly and gave him a calming gesture that got him to back up and be quiet.
"Miss Carnegie," Mahoney began gently, "that may be the case but Lieutenant Harris was wrong to manhandle my officer. And when you are wrong, you get punished."
"Oh, is that right, you piece of—" Harris began viciously, and at seeing the darkening of Mahoney's expression, promptly cut himself off. "—work." He then attempted to smile at the man as he began babbling. "I'm so… proud of you, kid. You've really come a long way—you know that? Look at you, busting me out here in this empty parking lot. You really got me."
"Lieutenant Harris—"
"Remember when I shot and killed the criminal at the pawn shop—what was that, heh, a week ago or so?" Harris said, continuing to babble on. "I got, uh, post-traumatic stress disorder, from it—needed to clear my head and this was the best way."
Mahoney had since pulled out his handcuffs and was holding them in one hand. At the site of the shiny metal links, Harris promptly shut up and his eyes went wide. I heard him swallow loudly as Mahoney lifted the handle on Harris's door and caused the car to light up inside. Thaddeus Harris couldn't have looked any more frightened than he did at this moment. Mahoney spoke up, his voice calm but firm.
"Honestly, I would have just torn up the citation for whatever this is supposed to be," Mahoney said in a strange easy-going voice, gesturing at us. "In fact, when I realized it was you in the car, I must say, I was pretty impressed."
At that comment, I saw the corner of Harris's mouth twitch.
"—But then you grabbed my officer and threatened him," Mahoney added. "Which means that I have to arrest you for assaulting a—"
Harris nearly choked on his own spit.
"Wait—are you serious?"
"Do I look like I'm kidding? Let me finish, please." He opened the door, revealing Harris's barely concealed leg and lighting up the interior of the car. "I have to arrest you for assaulting an officer. Thaddeus Harr—"
"Come on, Mahoney," Harris remarked. "I'm embarrassed as all hell; isn't that enough?"
I could only gape over at Harris as he shifted his body so that he faced the window. He was now partially exposing himself, but he seemed to no longer care. Mahoney took a deep breath and continued as if nothing had been said. Mahoney fully swung the door open and held his handcuffs in front of him, ready to apply them to Harris.
"Thaddeus Harris, you are under arrest for—"
"Don't do this, Mahoney," Harris suddenly blurted, fidgeting to cover his lap as the pitch of his voice climbed upward.
"—for assaulting a police offic—"
"Please, Mahoney; don't do this to me," Harris blurted, his voice strained and unnaturally high-pitched. He reached out and grabbed Mahoney's uniform jacket. "Look, I know I've been an asshole to you as long as you can remember, but do you really wanna ruin everything for me? I already got passed over for the commandant position today; isn't that enough?"
Mahoney crossed his arms and straightened his back so that we could no longer see his face. I felt chills go down my back and I touched Harris's leg for support. By grabbing Zed and threatening him, he'd really dug himself in deep. I didn't even know how to help him at this point.
"Commandant Lassard didn't give anyone the position," Mahoney said. "So everyone who may have wanted that position is disappointed—not just you."
Suddenly something occurred to Harris and he smacked his own leg with realization.
"I knew it! I knew that bitch set me up for this!" Harris exclaimed, shaking his head. "You know what? You can tell Callahan that she can kiss my ass."
"In fact, you can tell her that yourself during your one phone call," Mahoney responded.
With that, Mahoney slapped the cuff on Harris's good wrist, locking it onto him. Harris gaped down at it, his face white as a ghost, eyes wide. I couldn't tell if he wanted to strangle Mahoney or if he was having a heart attack. I knew he couldn't do the first, unless he was willing to expose himself to the officers and some of the neighborhood, who I could see in the distance watching the scene on several lit-up porches. Mahoney attached the second cuff to Harris's other wrist with a loud metal click.
"Remember when you got a second chance?" Harris said, his voice wavering, his hands now clasped like he was praying. "They hauled you in but sent you to the police academy instead of jail. Carnegie here had that chance. Even Zed did! Remember those skateboarding punks you signed up for C.O.P.? Please, give me another chance, Mahoney. I won't let you down."
"But-but he's already gone through the police academy!" Zed exclaimed in the background.
"I know, Zed, I know," Mahoney calmly said, using his hand to move the other officer back to his position. Once Zed was slightly calmer, I could see that Mahoney was deeply considering something, because he no longer had his eyes locked on Lieutenant Harris.
After a short time, Mahoney locked eyes with his former instructor, sighing as he began to speak once more. "Thaddeus Harris, you are under—"
"I'll do anything; you hear me?!" Harris cried, yanking the fabric on Mahoney's uniform. "Anything. C'mon, Mahoney. Be reasonable."
"He should beg… on his knees!" Zed said with a sneer, pointing at Harris. Now Mahoney was smiling, and there was an element of mischief to his half-grin.
Harris, on the other hand, looked taken aback. He glared suspiciously at the long-haired man.
"Would you decline to press charges if he did that?" Mahoney asked Zed, who immediately began nodding excitedly. Harris's eyes were huge now as he gaped at Zed, more than likely with aggravation. Mahoney began to speak again, before Harris could regain the ability to speak.
"Sounds like he'll drop this thing if you what he says," Mahoney said matter-of-factly as he crossed his arms. "You did just say you'd do anything, right? So, let's see it."
Harris gaped down at his barely covered lap, his face distraught.
"—B-but I'm half nak—"
"Of course, you can get dressed first," Mahoney added.
"I just wanted to say—"
"Don't say it," Harris snapped back with gritted teeth, at my first attempt to talk to him since he'd humbled himself on the pavement on his knees, awkwardly begging forgiveness from Officer Zed with his hands cuffed in front of him. I could see the people on their porches talking amongst themselves as the embarrassing scene happened in front of them. Harris had certainly looked the part, kneeling on the pavement, cuffed hands clasped together at chest level, hair all askew and sweat streaming down his face, keeping his head bowed and teeth gritted as he asked Zed to forgive him and that it was a mistake and that he'd never do it again. Oh, how humiliating that must have been for a proud man like Harris!
The car was now running but hadn't yet been shifted into drive. Thankfully, the squad car with Mahoney and Zed had since left, and we sat in the dark, the dashboard lights the only light in the vehicle.
"At least you—"
"At least I what?" he interrupted. "Made a damn fool of myself? I didn't see Zed throw away that camera roll. Asshole will probably pass it around at the police station until the right person sees it and gets me fired."
"Is it really such a big deal to be caught in a—"
"With you, yes," he responded. "You are a cadet. I am your instructor. I'm sure if Callahan had photographic evidence against her, she'd be long gone."
"Well, I did say—"
"Don't you say it!" he blurted.
I blinked several times.
"What am I not supposed to say?"
"That you told me so!" he blurted. "Now, let's get back to the damn academy. I'll be glad when today is over."
As we drove the short distance back to the police academy, I thought about how my scandalous picture would be in public domain for years to come, because of that twitchy moron Zed. I definitely don't remember him taking a picture of an injured Lieutenant Harris or the pawn shop robbers getting arrested. Or even the damaged Corvette. No, he had taken that picture to spite us. I'm sure he had a vendetta against Harris, but why get me in the picture as well? I'd never done anything wrong to him.
For one, we hadn't even officially gotten started doing anything when the cop car had pulled up. It was like we'd been trapped there. All these weird situations made my opinion of cops further skew in a bad direction. While I was on the wrong side of the law, they had appeared to be on the right side. Now that I wasn't stealing cars and getting arrested for stupid shit, I realized that the line between right and wrong was blurred. Apparently threatening a former instructor and taking naked pictures of the instructor so as to humiliate him was not below police officers. My goody-two-shoes attitude towards telling Lassard the truth about his pet fish did not apply to these other cops. Harris and I were being unfairly targeted by basically everyone around here and I was getting completely sick of it.
"I wish you would have punched Zed in the face," I mumbled, sighing as we pulled into the police academy parking lot. "That was a dick move, taking pictures of us in that car. Police evidence, my ass. Stupid spaz."
Harris suddenly came to a stop. He turned his head slightly to look at me out of the corner of his eye.
"What did you just say?" He looked intrigued and yet oddly suspicious.
"The more I think about it, the more I think that was bullshit back there," I replied. "You weren't assaulting him. He asked for it, the way he acted when you asked if he had taken a picture of us."
Now he was smiling at me.
"You serious?"
"Of course I'm serious. That was bullshit. Maybe we shouldn't have parked there, but we didn't deserve that. I wanted us to have some fun tonight and that asshole ruined it."
"Think we can salvage it?"
"We can try."
