Chapter 20 - Stetson

Though I'd started off rather quickly for the gym, all the new cadets were already waiting inside when we arrived, standing with their legs spread shoulder-width apart and their arms behind their backs. Who the hell were they trying to impress? Us goobery D squad women? Each other? I exchanged a quick eye roll with Mullers as we approached the group of men, who didn't so much as acknowledge our presence. Brookstone was quick on the scene, and immediately headed for a sandy-haired man at one end to admire his shirt or some shit.

Captain Callahan arrived soon after and pulled out the mats. One of the A-squad guys offered to help her, but she wasn't having it.

"Sit down," she instructed, and finally the uncomfortably formal row of A-squad guys was sitting cross-legged on the gym floor. I sat next to Mullers, several feet away. Our own male recruits did not mingle with the new guys and stayed off to the side. Only the desperately flirty Brookstone sat within the group of A-squad cadets. She'd pulled her shorts up her thighs and was tracing a line down the sandy-haired guy's own hairy leg. Damn, was she trying to get a lifetime of relationships in before promised to join a nunnery after the academy was over?


Lieutenant Harris was one of the last people to arrive in the gym, and he stood off to one side to allow Captain Callahan to instruct on self-defense. With his arm still in a sling, he was in no condition to demonstrate anything, and Callahan seemed happy enough to oblige.

"Today we will be testing our own learned self-defense skills against our recent additions. We will see just how ready we are to face a threat. Does anyone want to volunteer to go first?"

I averted my eyes, staring at a rather large red scuff on the polished wooden gym floor. This technique had always worked well in the past to reflect complete disinterest. In my peripheral vision, I could see Brookstone continuing to move her finger on the other cadet. Get a room…

"How about you, Brookstone?" Callahan suggested, hands on her hips. "You seem to be readier than most to get physical with A squad."

"Huh?" Now Brookstone was glaring up at Callahan, daggers in her eyes. She huffed in a pouty way and stood up, glumly striding onto the blue mat.

"Now, who from A squad would like to be the assailant?" Callahan offered.

The men sat stonily and I immediately wondered how Callahan would even choose one of them, being as I assumed she didn't know any of their names yet.

"You—second from right," she said. "What's your name?"

"Johnson," he replied, as my eyes moved to him. He was certainly just as built and competent-looking as the other A-squad guys we'd gotten, and notably had not been the guy Brookstone had been flirting with just seconds earlier.

"Come on up, Johnson."

Callahan took a couple of steps back and Johnson stood up and went to the mat.

"Now, you will come at her with an invisible knife," Callahan instructed, "wielding it above you head like this." And with that, she lifted an arm high, making it obvious to all how tight her shirt was over her chest. Ugh. Satisfied with her little show, she stepped back. "Go!"

Johnson approached Brookstone with the invisible knife as she faced him, and almost instantly, her knee went up sharply, nailing him in the balls. He staggered back, clutching himself and moaning. Whoa. That was over fast. I looked around at the guys around me and at Harris. Every last one of them was wincing at the hit.

"That may work with a man, Brookstone," Callahan said. "But it would not work with a woman, and it is not the way police are trained to subdue a suspect."

"Is this not better than shooting them?" Brookstone shot back, clearly miffed that her instant takedown of this macho man was not appreciated.

Suddenly, the stoic men of A squad shifted awkwardly as they sat around me. I peered about to see them exchange knowing glances with each other. Right. Tackleberry was their instructor and was under investigation. I wondered if he'd unintentionally killed a bystander or something.

"I suppose it is," Callahan replied, "but as I've instructed you all in the past, there is a distinct set of moves we officers are supposed to enact, and in a set order. Recall my discussing arm bars, wrist locks, and takedowns. Never did I discuss use of the knees or targeting the genitals."

Callahan put up an arm and pushed Brookstone away from Johnson.

"Now," Callahan said, grinning at the cadet who towered over her, "come at me with a knife, Johnson."

He stopped wincing and followed her order and was summarily tripped by her, pushed to the floor on his stomach, and she placed her foot lightly on his back and looked at the cadets sitting before her.

"Now, this," she said, sticking out her chest proudly, "is a successful takedown, with no threat to his fertility, Brookstone."

Now Brookstone was blushing and was told to sit down.

"Who would like to be next?"

Again I looked down, silently praying I'd be left alone. D squad still had 12-odd members left, even after all the people who'd quit or been kicked out.

"Carnegie," Callahan said, grinning triumphantly. I sighed loudly and stood up, grossed out. Great. Now I'd be making a fool of myself again. I couldn't help but recall accidentally taking down Harris on this very mat and embarrassing him so badly that he felt inclined to make me do a ridiculous amount of jumping jacks, the unconventional start of our ill-fated relationship.

"Any volunteers from A squad?" Callahan said, looking around. Of course no one volunteered.

This time, she pointed at the sandy-haired guy Brookstone had been flirting with. "You, what's your name?"

"Stetson," he replied, clearly surprised that he'd been picked.

"Over here, Stetson," Callahan commanded, pointing to the mat. I could feel sweat pouring out of my armpits and was sure I stunk. Hopefully this would be over soon and I could go sit down and be left alone the rest of the day. Clearly I would not try to knee him in the crotch.

"I want you to be the assailant, Carnegie," Callahan said with a smirk. Wait—this guy was like half a foot taller than me! Why would someone my size think they could win against this guy, with a knife, no less?

Was this some sort of punishment against Harris, as he was forced to watch some hot guy pin me down? I wouldn't doubt it. Callahan was certainly acting very petty towards Harris because of the position.

I raised my hand above my head as if holding an invisible knife. Immediately I felt a foot snake behind my leg and quickly shift forward, throwing my balance off and making me lurch forward and then backward. Stetson had grabbed my forearm arm at this point and locked his own forearm against it, quickly flipping me until I landed hard on my back, the wind knocked out of me. Even so, he stood above me now, not pinning me under him.

"Hmmm, is your suspect properly restrained?" Callahan noted, standing with hands on hips. Stetson looked down at me and then went to his knees quickly, straddling me between his thighs, which seemed to be made of metal. He looked at me briefly with no real expression and I looked back at him. Perhaps we both realized how pointless this was. Even a D squad cadet of his size could take down a woman of my size. Thank God he'd stayed away from my face with that crotch—even so, he was positioned near my belly button, close enough to look scandalous.

My eyes caught movement behind him and there was Harris, frowning deeply as he watched us, his eyes rolling irritably. Well, Callahan had accomplished her goal. He was definitely pissed off.

"What do you think, Lieutenant?" Callahan said, smiling broadly at Harris. "Is Carnegie properly restrained?"

I could see the immediate look of shock on his face at being asked such a random question at such a time. He looked tongue-tied and glanced down at me as I lie on my back, Stetson straddling my lower body. I could almost taste his discomfort at being asked such a question.

"Any man could take down a woman two-thirds his size," he grunted back at her, eyes flashing at her ever-so-briefly.

"But in fact, Stetson here is positioned too low on her body," Callahan suddenly boomed. "He could possibly be kneed in the crotch from this angle. In fact, the most effective technique for restraining someone on their back is laying across their chest at a perpendicular angle."

Callahan was no longer looking at Harris now, but I could see he was angry at being called out in such a way.

"Do you know what I am talking about?" Callahan said, peering down at Stetson. I could see him looking up at her now and nodding slightly.

"Then do it!"

Stetson got up off of me and repositioned himself so he was lying face-down on me, his head positioned off to the side. I could feel his heart thudding slowly but forcefully in his chest as he did so, and could now see a slight redness beginning to appear in his neck. I could see now why Brookstone had singled him out for flirtation—he was rather good-looking, and polite too. No rude Norris-like comments or immaturity from this guy. He was in a different league from the horny teenage boys of D squad.

Once I was finally freed from Stetson's takedown, I sat down quickly, seeing that Harris now had a permanent scowl on his face. Strangely enough, Stetson sat down next to me, so close that I could feel the heat radiating from his body. I took it in along with relief that my ordeal was done for now. I wondered what Brookstone was thinking right now, seeing the object of her affection sit down next to me.

Several more pairings followed, and not only was Mullers called up to take down some meathead, but Fenster was put to task as well. I was so relieved to be sent off to lunch that I was the very first cadet in our combo squadron that made it to the cafeteria.

I didn't even wait for Mullers or Stiner to arrive before I sat down at one of our usual tables, quickly digging into the soggy pizza square that made up the majority of food today.

Strangely enough, it was not Mullers or Stiner who approached me first at the table; it was Brookstone, who hadn't even gotten her food yet and seemed to be delighted with herself.

"Guess what?" she said. "I figured out what that investigation from A squad is about."

I could not help but glance at her suspiciously.

"Don't you wonder what happened?" she asked, disappointed that I'd not immediately demanded her to spill her guts.

"Yeah," I muttered, shrugging, "I guess."

"It's supposed to be hush-hush but it's about Captain Tackleberry," she started, grinning devilishly. "Apparently while entering some guy's house for an arrest, he busted in and started shooting before he saw what was there. Ended up shooting the guy's two little kids. Stetson told me."

"Oh wow," I replied, making a face of distaste. Ah, so that's why she came over here. Brookstone just had to tell me who told her—that good-looking guy she'd first had her sights on, the one who'd instead sat next to me after pinning me down. Telling me about Tackleberry was not the main goal of this conversation—it was to tell me to back off her man. I continued my reply, playing down any disappointment I felt. "That guy really needs to reign in the constant shooting. I mean, he wanted to blow away the horses that got spooked at the parade just the other day. Are the guy's kids okay?"

"They are in the hospital—sounds like they only got grazed. Even so, this is gonna be real bad for Captain Tackleberry. I'll bet A squad will be with us for the rest of the academy."

"Seems like that's something you would like," I said, shrugging with a half-hearted smile.

"Gotta make lemonade from lemons," she replied matter-of-factly, her grin taking over her face. "Anyway, just thought you'd be interested." With that, she headed toward the food line, taking her place right behind Stetson. Ah well, I mused, feeling myself sigh. Guess he was off the market. It was nice while it lasted.