CHAPTER 36 – KNEE JERK


"April," the voice said. "Wake up, April."

When my eyes finally opened, I could see Lieutenant Harris's face looming over me, his having knelt down on the floor next to me. No longer was he handcuffed. I did, however, see Larry Allen getting taken away by the police in handcuffs as well as his entire security detail.

"Looks like their firm's gotta hire an entirely new crew—not to mention a new CEO," Harris said with a chuckle, as Tackleberry bent down next to me as well. "We got 'im, Carnegie."

"You saved our asses, Cadet Carnegie," Tackleberry commented, his biceps bulging as he looked down at me with hands on his knees. "I am going to recommend special commendation for you at graduation. Great work today, Cadet."

"Thank you," I murmured, still feeling woozy. Harris and Tackleberry helped me stand up as we all walked with incredible slowness toward the elevators. "So what happens now?"

"Well, they're gonna take all those criminals down to the jail and get their separate statements," Harris began. "Tackleberry, me, you, Proctor—we'll all have to make statements as well. All the little fish will make deals with the prosecutor to take down the big fish, that being Larry Allen himself. He ain't gonna see the light of day for a long time."

"Ha. Looks like Angie is gonna have to cancel her big wedding," I muttered with a smile, as Tackleberry helped me into the elevator. "I can't imagine how much money they've wasted. Doubt they can get a refund for it at this late a stage."

"I'm going to take the next elevator; ensure the perimeter is cleared first," Tackleberry said, giving Harris a little salute. "See you both soon."

Now it was just Harris and me in the elevators alone. I handed him Proctor's gun and he tucked it into the waistband of his pants.

"You know, the wedding doesn't have to be cancelled," Harris said, looking thoughtful, as the elevator began to descend.

"What are you talking about?" I replied, making a confused face. "The groom's not going to be there, unless he makes bail, I guess. My sisters may be idiots but they aren't stupid enough to marry a convicted felon."

"What if the bride and groom were someone else?"

"Huh?"

The elevator lurched as Harris went down to a knee, and I gaped down at him, alarmed at the sudden move.

"Are you okay?" I asked. "Is your leg hurt?"

"You're screwing this up; you know that, don't you?" he remarked, rolling his eyes with exasperation.

"Screwing up what?"

His eyes bugged out of his head.

"I was trying to ask you to marry me."

I nearly choked on my spit, rendered speechless. Was this some weird joke? Thaddeus Harris, proposing?

"Oh, congratulations, Sir!" Proctor exclaimed into the earpiece. It was so loud; I could even hear his voice. Immediately Harris scowled, ripping the device out of his ear and disconnecting the wire. I could only stare stupidly at the top of his silvery head as he tucked the earpiece and wire into his pocket.

"Shit, of course he had to hear that," he said, shaking his head. He clutched his forehead now, shaking his head with disgust. "Ugh, now I'll never live it down."

"You do realize that marriage is something that people will know about, right?" I countered, crossing my arms, off-put by this ultra-awkward impromptu proposal. Maybe Harris was just flustered and overwhelmed because of his near-death experience. It would be best if I didn't take this seriously. He was just overcome and would soon snap back into his self-centered, self-preserving self soon. There was no way in hell that he meant this. Not no way, not no how.

"So what do you say?" he asked, remaining on his knee, the soft bings of the elevator behind him. "I know I don't got a ring at the moment, but I'll get one as soon as they've taken our statements."

"Don't you think this is a bit fast?" I asked him, making a face of confusion. "I mean, we've only known each other for what, six weeks? Technically the academy thinks we're still broken up from last time."

Sighing, he stood back up, looking red from anger or maybe embarrassment; I couldn't tell.

"I think you're just a bit overwhelmed right now," I muttered, shaking my head. "You don't really want to marry me. Let's just tell Lieutenant Proctor it was a joke."

As I spoke, Harris watched me with increasing anguish, somehow unable to interrupt me while I made my case. When I finally was able to avert my eyes, he gripped my arm and stood up, his breath hot on my face.

"Look, we don't have much time before we're back in public again," he began, looking anxious. "No one's ever done anything like that for me before. And the fact that you're a woman, a damn good woman who not only can save my ass but seems to enjoy my ass; well, that's more than I can ever hope for."

It was a very nice thing to say, but the loveliness of it was overshadowed by the extremely out-of-the-blue proposal looming above it. I winced at the awkwardness of this whole exchange.

"That's very nice of you to say. Really—I am flattered. But, uh, can we go back to your place and talk about this more there? This is so… sudden. I'm still reeling from thinking you were going to get killed in there."

His shoulders slumped and his face softened. He released his grip on my arm and let out a sigh.

"I guess you're right, yet again. You know; you're on a real roll here today, Carnegie."


"Miss Carnegie?" Captain Mahoney called out, as Harris left Mahoney's office looking far worse for wear. He looked totally demoralized and exhausted, a corner of his mouth twitching.

I stood up, giving Harris a brief glance before heading into Mahoney's office. I watched the smiling man as he took his seat behind the desk, his toothy smile never wavering.

"So, tell me about today. What exactly prompted Lieutenant Harris to go downtown to the job interview today?"

"He told me that Lieutenant Proctor told him about the interview for a new security guard. I wasn't there when that happened."

"And why did Lieutenant Harris want to go to this interview? Looking for another job, was he?"

"No," I replied, rolling my eyes. "Did he not tell you?"

"The point of these statements, Ma'am, is that we get several independent sources of information. Inconsistencies can help us find holes in the case and points for follow-up."

"Well, I guess it began when Lieutenant Harris and I went to my sister Angie's engagement party two weekends ago. She's engaged to Larry Allen. They treated us okay, but once he told them that he was a cop and that I was also training to be one, my whole family begin treating us very badly and teasing us. I ended up leaving in tears. My sister left me a message on my answering machine lying about Lieutenant Harris staying at the party and asking lots of questions about my family's financial situation, so I broke up with him."

"Okay, so you are saying you know Larry Allen through family. Your future brother-in-law, right?"

"That's right."

"So what made Harris want to investigate him? The fact that they were teasing him? That's not exactly a smoking gun."

"Well, he asked Larry what it was he did for work and Larry couldn't give him a straight answer and then acted like he should have a lawyer present—like he was on trial. That and the fact that my sister wanted me to be angry at Harris for something he didn't even do."

"I see," Mahoney said, writing down some notes. "Anything else?"

"So the day Lieutenant Harris was supposed to talk at the press conference last Sunday, Lieutenant Proctor spotted Larry and followed him back to his office. While they were in the elevator together, Larry mentioned Harris's name and then asked for a warrant before kicking Lieutenant Proctor out."

"I'm still not seeing probable cause for Harris's attempt to perform illegal surveillance on the man. It's one thing to have witnessed a crime, but disliking someone and having bad interactions with them is not a crime."

I scoffed before I could catch myself.

Now Mahoney was chuckling, looking at me with amusement.

"What did that mean? That scoff?"

"If that's true about probable cause and disliking someone not being a crime, then what prompted Officer Zed to approach Lieutenant Harris's car that night and take pictures of us? You know, since apparently Lieutenant Harris is the only one around here not following proper police procedure, in spite of what's going on right now with you-know-who."

"Wow—so you're still sore about that night," Mahoney replied with a laugh. "Egh, maybe sore is the wrong term to use. What made Zed investigate was a tip."

"Yeah, a tip from Captain Callahan." Mahoney blinked in surprise, probably wondering how I knew that. I continued speaking. "You know, someone who dislikes Harris. Again, I'm not seeing how she is justified but not him. Or how Captain Tackleberry is justified enough to be defended by everyone, while Lieutenant Harris gets demoted and pranked by his fellow instructors for doing far less than that. Can't you see how unfair it is?"

"The tip may have been from an inappropriate source, but it was accurate; you were technically both committing a crime—I mean, it was just a misdemeanor, but a crime nonetheless."

"Huh," I snapped back, touching my chin thoughtfully, getting more and more riled up with every moment that stupid grin stayed on his face. "Well, I would think that Larry's company trying to have a man killed just for showing up for a job interview is probable cause for investigating their company now; wouldn't you say?"

Now Mahoney's grin encompassed his whole face, his lips curling at both ends. He looked strangely delighted by my statement.

"Touché, Miss Carnegie, touché."


When Captain Mahoney and I finally wrapped up my statement, I strode right over to where Lieutenant Harris was sitting in the hallway, waiting anxiously for me to emerge. Rather than look at me, however, his gaze locked on something above me.

"Lieutenant Harris," Mahoney said from behind me, and I turned around, making a face at the intrusion. Were we not done here? Or was he finding our statements inconsistent? This guy really could be a dick.

"Mahoney," the older man replied with a sigh, his body sinking into the plastic seat.

"I believe I owe you an apology."

Now Harris peered up at Mahoney, confusion on his face.

"You've always said you want to train people to be good cops," Mahoney began. "Do you remember saying that?"

"I do."

"Well, you made a hell of a cop here, Sir," he said, clapping my shoulder patronizingly. "Miss Carnegie has her head on straight, a credit to your teaching skills. I imagine you've been, uh, personally training her for quite some time. Guess I just wasn't your type, hm?"

Now Harris was glaring up at Mahoney, probably unsure how to read his comments. I couldn't tell either. Was he being sincere, or was he teasing Harris yet again?

"You don't have to worry about Larry Allen anymore; the Metropolitan Police Department will be conducting a thorough investigation of his company. It'll be no trouble obtaining a proper warrant, considering the lengths he was prepared to go to in stopping you."

Harris could only peer up at Mahoney, unmoving.

"I'm, uh, not sure where this is all coming from. Since when have you ever appreciated anything I've ever done?"

"Since now," Mahoney replied matter-of-factly. "In fact, to prove my sincerity, I am going to recommend you for promotion."

"What, so I can have it taken away from me next week? Don't bother, Mahoney. I know this game you're playing. You've always enjoyed screwing with me."

"No, I'm serious," Mahoney said, his smile somehow widening even further. "You stood next to your unpopular opinion of Tackleberry's conduct in spite of getting so much flack for it, and I respect that. In fact, I called up Commandant Lassard earlier and he told me what you told him the other night. It seems you can make a good point every once in a while."

There was a pause while Harris processed what Mahoney had just said. Yet unlike Mahoney, he hadn't yet cracked a smile.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" he began, blinking, "'Cause you lost me at—"

"In speaking to Miss Carnegie just now, she made some excellent points that I really can't argue with. Again, I'm sorry it had to come to this, for someone to have to go to bat for you, but it does put things in perspective."

"Huh," Harris muttered, his face still twisted into an expression of confusion. "Well, I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I only hope you'll accept my sincere regrets for what you've been going through lately. And I can assure you there will be an immediate end to the pranks."

Now Harris looked at me, rolling his eyes.

"Now why you gotta go and tell everyone about that? Geez, I shouldn't tell you anyth—"

"I only hope that you'll consider inviting me to the wedding," Mahoney said with a wink, looking at Harris and then me.

Harris glared at me as my eyes went wide, my head shaking slowly back and forth. I hadn't told Mahoney anything about the proposal. At my nonverbal reply, Harris's face went beet red and he scowled deeply.

"Proctor!"