"Way to make things awkward, Connie," Sasha says, blushing deeply. Dumbass ducks his head and mutters something sounding like an apology while rubbing the back of his neck.
"It's a pretty crazy thing to ask," I say, trying my best to ignore the heat I feel all over my face and play it cool. I think I can salvage this. I hope. "Maybe not even something we're allowed to do. So, what do you say?" I catch her eyes and smile as I continue, "Want to do it anyway?"
"You say crazy like it's a bad thing," she replies, returning my smile. Is that a yes? Please be a yes. "And I've heard the Commander say more than once that it's easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission." What a strange thing for a top officer to say. "So, Mr. Niccolo, where do you plan to take me?"
Part of me wants to jump for joy, but shit, I didn't plan anything. I've hardly a clue what's even normal for a date around here. "Ah, I'm kinda new to town, you know, not really sure where all the good spots are yet." She giggles as I continue, "I figure if I chat up enough customers, I'll have it figured out by time your Commander gets around to paying me."
"So that's how they do it in Marley, huh? You pay?" she asks, looking curious.
"Um, yeah. When courting a lady, the guy's expected to pay for dates. Is, uh, is it different here?"
"Oh, you make it sound so fancy. Courting." She giggles sweetly before continuing. "This time's the same, since you invited me to, um, whatever place you end up taking me to. But, um, it can be different too. Like if I tell you that there's this fun bar and I want to… have a few drinks with you or something, it'd be really rude if I didn't buy the first round after inviting you. And I'd want to buy you something to eat, too. That's… uh, that's not too weird for you, is it?" she asks nervously as we all begin getting back to work.
"N-no, not at all!" I blurt out, glad for the dust mask as I feel my cheeks warm. "It's just… different. Like about everything else on this island, everything's just been so… unexpected."
"It must be hard for you," Sasha says, giving me a sympathetic look as we begin scrubbing the top of a table.
Her dark haired friend interrupts before I can reply, "As amusing as it is watching you two stammer and blush at each other, I need to get going."
"You just stayed for the wine, didn't you?" Sasha asks, looking amused.
"The wine was good, but no. Since he's from so far away, I need to give your new boyfriend a warning about island culture so he doesn't embarrass you on your date."
Sasha's eyes narrow in suspicion as she asks, "A warning? You're not trying to scare him away, are you?"
"Why would I do that after telling you to say hi when you spotted him this morning?" She gives me a measured look before continuing, "And I don't think he'd be very easy to scare away. Even if he does scream like a little girl when he's frightened."
"No I didn't!" I blurt out.
"Mika, be nice! Mr. Niccolo definitely did not sound like a little girl when you made him scream!" Sasha heard that? Fucking wonderful. "I'm sure he was just very surprised to suddenly fly up at Ackerman speed."
"Whatever you call it, he was loud and you need to go clean something out of earshot for a minute. It'll be good for both of you that he hears this."
"Fine." Sasha rolls her eyes at her friend, then gives me a quick smile I can faintly detect through her dust mask before turning to go.
"What's this about island culture?" I ask, continuing to work.
"It's really more of a family tradition. And it probably won't be needed. I think you might be good for her, but it's only fair to warn you that I'll break your bones if you break her heart."
"You think this is going to work out good?" I ask, looking up at her.
"You focused on the wrong half of the sentence," she replies, rolling her eyes. "Look, Sasha's last boyfriend cheated on her. After I got her to stop crying, I paid him a visit and broke both his legs." She says this matter of factly, as if it was a perfectly normal response.
"Why the legs?"
"Because the shorty already broke his arms."
"And that's allowed here?"
"No. The Commander gave us both a very thorough tongue lashing and threw us in the brig for punishment. And the shorty agreed with me that it was worth it."
"And who's, uh, who's the shorty?"
"You've met him. The shortest man on the island, my weird uncle Levi."
"But he called you his-"
"Don't worry about that," she interrupts. "Worry that he'll visit you in the next few days. Shorty sees us three like daughters and can get a little overprotective."
"Three?" Is she trying to confuse me? First she's a cousin and now she's a daughter? What the hell kind of weird families do these damn devils have? "What-"
"Stop worrying about the wrong things. Just think of me as Sasha's loving and protective big sister and think of Levi as her overprotective and tiny big brother. And try to get a chimney sweep in here soon so you can get one of those stoves running, he'll be less harsh if you offer him tea when he shows up."
"Are you sure you aren't trying to scare me away?"
"You better not chicken out, Sasha's looking forward to this," she replies with a straight face. "You will show her a very nice time and be an absolute gentleman, or we'll need to have another conversation." All these mixed signals are confusing the hell out of me. Before I can ask any questions, she turns on her heel and briskly walks away, only pausing to give Sasha a quick hug before exiting. Weird.
"Sarge, what the fuck are you doing?" Klaus asks as the door closes.
"What?"
"Look, I'll admit she has some nice curves, Sarge. But you've never been the type of guy to think with his dick before, this isn't like you. You've gotta remember that dame's a devil."
I knew this wouldn't go over well. I sigh before replying, "Look, Klaus, Sasha's different. She's not like the other Eldians."
"Aw, fuck. Please don't do this to yourself, Sarge."
"What?" He looks disturbed for some reason.
"We'll talk about it later, alright? Just… think about what you're doing here and try to think how it'll be when we get back home," he tells me before turning and walking deeper into the restaurant.
"Your friend looks kind of sad," Sasha remarks as she resumes cleaning near me. "I hope he doesn't think I'm going to eat you or something. I've heard some of the things the other prisoners say about us Eldians."
"I don't really know what he's thinking," I reply, shaking my head. "I'll talk with him later and figure it out. Hey, Miss Sasha, there's something I'm confused about. If you don't mind me asking, how exactly is Miss Mikasa related to Mr. Levi?"
Unexpectedly, she laughs at my question. "Oh, she got you with that, huh? Nobody really knows how they're related, but they think it's funny to mess with new people by using random family terms for each other and refusing to explain themselves."
"Huh. They… didn't really strike me as the type to do something like that. But how can you be related to someone and have no idea how?"
She shrugs at this. "Their family was real important back before the walls were closed, but spent most of the time since hiding and didn't really keep records. They're probably some kind of distant cousins, but well…" she trails off and shrugs, as if to say 'who knows?'
"Weird. And they both seemed so serious."
"Oh, they are, and they never let most people see anything else but their super serious side. Also, the Captain's sense of humor is mostly limited to poop jokes and rude nicknames, but he appreciates a good prank, so Mika was able to talk him into this."
"So, they're gonna be laughing about me later and she was just busting my ba- chops, huh?" I ask, correcting myself at the last moment as we finish off another table.
"More like she'll have a tiny little smirk and one corner of his mouth will twitch up about this much," Sasha tells me, holding two fingers about a millimeter apart. "Now, what's a ba-chop? More Marley slang?"
"Ah, yeah, if someone's joking around and it sounds mean, but it's just friends messing with each other, or testing someone new to see what they do, they're busting the other person's chops. And the more literal meaning is smacking someone across the mouth."
"That makes sense, but you said ba-chops."
"Ah, I, uh, almost said a more rude version," I admit.
"So, ba-something rude." She thinks for a moment, then giggles cutely. "I think I know what you almost said, save that version for barracks and barrooms."
"Um, I hope I didn't offend you, Miss Sasha."
She laughs again and shakes her head at this. I definitely need to hear her beautiful laugh more often. "It's really nice how you're talking so, um, nice to me, but we're both soldiers. I'm not going to get upset if you let something slip out. Really, I'll be impressed if you manage to say something, you know, dirty, that I haven't heard before."
I nod at this and change the subject, "Your friend really had me going there. Wasn't even a hint she was joking, she does 'menacing' really well." I'm hoping for another laugh and am surprised when Sasha sighs instead. "Uh, threatening to break my bones was a prank, right?"
"Sorry. She means well, they both do, but they're just so stubborn. I've told them both I can take care of myself, but, well…" She sighs and trails off.
"Seems like she cares a lot about you. Even told me to think of her as your big sister."
This draws a small chuckle. "I'll have you know I'm the big sister, by a whole half a year. She just has an odd habit of thinking she's the most mature one and sometimes acting like everyone's mom. Or at least she does to everyone she cares about." She laughs again before continuing, "you should have seen the Captain's face the first time she tried that overbearing routine on him. He called her out on it and she goes, 'No, Sir, I'm just showing respect to the clan elder.' And, well…" She pauses to laugh again, then resumes, "I guess you had to be there."
"Ah, I'll take your word for it."
"I just wish we had one of those camera things, the face he made… The Commander was laughing so hard, I thought she was going to hurt herself. "
"Speaking of which, should I expect a menacing visit from him too?"
"I'll talk to him when I get back to headquarters tonight, see if I can convince him not to. Or at least to go easy on you. And maybe I can talk the Commander into hurrying up with your pay. They're usually both working late and I'm sure they'll have heard by then."
Shit, I hadn't even thought about that. "Maybe asking while everyone was in the same room was bad timing. Hope she doesn't decide this is a security risk or something."
"She's already briefed us all on what we aren't allowed to talk about around prisoners, so no." Sasha chuckles again, then continues, "This probably isn't what she meant when she told us she wanted to make better relationships between Eldians and Marleyians, though. Oh, and she'll probably stop by sometime to talk to you about it, but it'll be friendly. Maybe she'll tease you about getting the whole Survey Corps gossiping about us, but that's about it."
"All of them?"
"Scouts are pretty tight-knit and we did just drop a juicy chunk of gossip in front of a whole room full."
I chuckle a bit at this. "Guess we really gave everyone something to talk about. It'll fly around the prison camp too." That could get awkward. I've already been hearing people call me a devil lover behind my back because of hanging out with Samuel. "So, are you from around here? This city, I mean."
"No, I'm from a small village deep in a forest inside wall Rose, called Dauper."
"What's it like? I've never been in a forest where there weren't bullets flying around."
"We were all very poor, but it was peaceful. We made our living through hunting, trading meat for the few things we couldn't make for ourselves. Dad taught me to use a bow almost as soon as I could walk, so I spent a lot of time in the woods, helping out by bringing back whatever small game I could hunt up. What about you?"
"Well, it was pretty different, since I grew up in one of the largest cities in Marley, much larger than this one, but some things were the same. We lived in one of the poorer neighborhoods and everyone in the family had to pitch in to get by. When I was big enough to help I got a job after school, washing dishes at a classic style Marleyian restaurant. When things weren't too busy, I'd watch the chefs work, and eventually I got to work up the ranks and become one of them." We continue to clean and chat about our childhoods, until she notices the time and tells me she's going to be late and had promised to spend time this afternoon with Mikasa. After a hurried farewell, I throw myself back into my work, wondering how I ever got so lucky.
I'm happily scrubbing out the inside of an oven that I suspect has never been properly cleaned, my mind running through possibilities of how the next few days might go, when I hear booted footsteps approach from behind. Is it time to head back to the camp already?
"Oi, puke boy." Shit, he sounds pissed. More so than usual. Sighing, I set down my scrub brush and push myself to my feet, turning to face the angry little devil.
Note: Big chunks of this chapter and the next weren't in my original plan, before I had the thought that some Eldians might get a bit suspicious or overprotective at the idea of some outsider they just met dating the potato girl. And so, poor Niccolo now has to deal with skeptical Momkasa and angry papa Levi being overprotective.
