| The Human Condition |
Chapter XX: You Suck, I Swallow
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
― Marilyn Monroe
I WASN'T ONE TO OUTRIGHT skip, but after Biology came to a close and I got a glimpse of Kim's posse's backside in the hallway, I knew I needed to leave—get out of that wretched hellhole so I could think and breathe. I was already completely pissed off. I had Jeremiah and, once again, Kim's posse to thank for that. Paul's message was like a storm cloud over my head, patiently stewing as I went about, knowing the moment I got alone it'd be all I could think of. I needed to get away so I could come up with a plan. Somewhere I wouldn't have to worry about the newly-arrived vampire, whoever the hell it was, coming to crash the party.
As everyone moved from fifth to sixth period, I snuck around a varying range of bodies, using my height to my advantage in ducking and dodging. I was hit in the head by some random asshole I knew from English, but I ignored the itching under my skin, knowing if I hit someone it'd put a damper on my plans—and truly make life an absolute agony once Dad decided he actually had kids to look after. I shook my head, refocusing on the task at hand. Getting away, avoiding attention. Hitting someone would garner attention. I thought about the consequences of pulling a Paul Lahote; suspension wasn't fun and only meant sulking under my roof with nothing, absolutely nothing, to preoccupy myself with. Yeah, not fun. Not worth it.
I got to the front doors, slipping through. The school wasn't very safety-first and there weren't metal detectors, cameras, or even a worker detail sitting in the office watching vigilantly for dillydallying misfits. It made for easy, fast escape. I first checked my back for any potential followers, making sure I double-checked before booking it. I ran like a woken bat from a cave to my Dad's car, sitting unoccupied at the end of the parking lot. It was beside some girl's hand-me-down Chevrolet. Dad's car was a little Cavalier, gray as could be, in need of a paint job. It got the job done anyway, so maybe it was wrong to care about its many scratches and many bents from my many, many crashes and mishaps.
My eyes rolled up, annoyed as all Hell. I dug my keys out of my bag's side pocket, using the car key to unlock the driver's side door before climbing in. My bag was thrown into the passenger seat, right where the coffee stain was, to be forgotten until I was home and had to remember all the at-home assignments. I'd be missing my last period, American History, but Mrs. Myers was good at reteaching old lessons during new ones. It came in handy now; usually it made for a good snore-fest. Whatever. I digressed.
I turned the car on, feeling the ignition sputter to life. I carefully maneuvered out of my parking spot. On normal school days I waited for everyone to leave before I even thought about leaving myself, and that helped my anxiety when it came to pulling out and driving my way to the road and on the path home. I could be panicky behind the wheel when I least wanted to be.
The vampire Paul mentioned, I thought, realizing he didn't give any information besides that: the vampire part. What did they look like? What was the vampire's gender? I couldn't really use deductive reasoning for appearance, the physical bits being a part of identity I needed to see in order to know. It made me wonder what I needed to look out for while alone or in the woods. If I wasn't careful I could easily wind up dead. Other than that, the vampire was probably not vegetarian—meaning it had red eyes. Red eyes meant human-drinking. Human-drinking was bad. For me, at least.
I wanted to slam my head on my steering wheel. Thank God no one else was on the road. My emotions seeped into how I drove and what I thought during driving, translating to pretty terrible road rage.
I wonder if Miss Bella Swan, the miscreant driver, knows anything about this.
Wait a damn second.
I accidentally pressed my foot into the brake, causing a very abrupt stop. My body went forward, hitting the roof of the windshield and the steering wheel. It was painful for a brief bit. I released both hands off the steering wheel and blindly reached over, pulling the gearstick up to park. Good it was all the way at the end, otherwise I'd probably accidentally send myself backwards and crash into a tree before I could look straight again.
After the car settled and I looked around to make sure there weren't any oncoming vehicles, I straightened up. This was totally my own fault, my own doing. Who the fuck didn't wear a seatbelt while driving alone? I shook my head, grumbling internal insults towards myself, and clumsily buckled. I tightened the strap so it wouldn't shapeshift into uncomfortable positions, maybe a little irritated by how constricted it was but anything beat dying. Satisfied, I pulled the gearstick back into drive.
I did a hasty U-turn on the road, nearly toppling off the side, and sped down in the opposite direction. No longer towards the nearest gas station I intended to buy Laffy Taffy from—now towards Fork.
If the vampire was in the area looking for the Cullens, it wouldn't surprise me for Bella to be familiar with them. She probably knew them by name. She was basically "vampire girl" by now, even if the Cullens were gone; before they left, she was in cahoots with them all, dating Edward Cullen and all. I didn't think badly of them like Paul and the rest did, being that it was mostly human-drinking vampires I didn't like. So it didn't annoy me as much as it intrigued me thinking there could be a vampire here looking for the Cullens. It made me wonder just how much Bella herself knew. I had half a mind to believe she knew about shifters. But maybe it was best I pretended, just for the time-being, that she knew less than I did. Just for Sam's sake. My own, too.
I got to Forks High School in record time. From being picked up that day to watch them ride bikes near the beach, only to ask that I go home because I was angry, I knew Bella's vehicle. It was a rusted-red Chevy pick-up. I was bad at knowing types of cars, but hers was easy-enough. I saw it near the back in the parking lot. There was even a vacant parking spot beside it. I slid in, bringing my car to a stop just before it could go forward and spill into the portion of block meant for cars to drive through in pursuit of free concrete.
I turned off the ignition. It was around 20 degrees outside, so I didn't have to worry about overheating. I did worry about being too cold. I stretched over and curled around my seat, reaching a hand into the backseat to grab my favorite hoodie. It was black with a skull hand on it. I slipped it on, snuggling into it.
I waited.
Forks High School got off around the same time we did at La Push, so it didn't take long before students trickled out, maybe thirty minutes at the most after the drive here. I sat up in my seat, leaning forward until my nose was pressed into the windshield. Bella wasn't plain or anything, but her features weren't a stand out in a pool of brunette white girls so finding her turned out to be harder than I thought it would be. I looked everywhere, thinking she'd appear. She didn't. Obviously. I got frustrated looking and seeing no one that even looked the slightest bit like her. I only came here to have a discussion, not to hang out or have a sleepover, and Paul expected me at Emily's. He'd probably think I was off doing shit I shouldn't if I showed up hours later.
Suddenly I saw a brunette girl wearing a olive hoodie walking towards the back. I looked closer, noticing it was Bella. She had the same self-preserving disposition, nervous mannerisms, and shield of long brown hair.
I hopped out of my car, watching her face—eyes focused on the vehicle to my left—go wide as I appeared beside it. She probably thought she was seeing things. I hadn't seen her since that day in February and it was now March, on the fast track to April. She knew I was upset with her after that fiasco of a trip out; maybe that'd make it easier for her to believe whatever story I came up with to avoid revealing that vampires weren't the only creatures in the dark. If she didn't already know. Yeah, that's an important tidbit.
"Bella!" I greeted, faking a smile. Bella nervously eyeballed me. Did she think I was going to jump her? Sure, the thought was appealing, but I had more dignity than that. I internally let my sub-face's eyes roll around in their sockets. "Hey. How ya doing?"
Bella surveyed the parking lot before shuffling closer. Her arms locked around her waist, hugging them close—and I caught the faintest glimpse of wary on her face. "I'm good," she said. "You wouldn't happen to know if Jacob's alright, would you?"
Ha—so she does know nothing. Can't say I'm surprised.
Black just had his first shift that morning, early as much as early could be, so I was a bit perplexed she inquired about him "feeling okay." I couldn't exactly say a word about his new canine identity either. I tried to look confused so she wouldn't think I knew more than I felt comfortable revealing.
"We don't talk so nah, I dunno," I said, shrugging.
Bella looked down. "Oh… we went to see a movie with my friend Mike last night. He said he wasn't feeling well. I think he might have the flu from the fever."
Before their first shift, new shifters would feel awful for a few days. Feverish, itchy, irritated, like there was something crawling under their skin. They'd be angrier than usual, all abnormal and out of loop. Kind of like a period.
Are you stupid? Shut up.
I frowned. "You should wait a few days then call Billy. Leave Bla—Jacob to rest and fight whatever it is."
"You're right," she said, visibly less tense. Vehicles around us awoke, maneuvering between sister cars to make their way out onto the road. I was conscious of where I was and what I looked like. I felt awkward being the only Native girl in a parking lot of Forks locals. All of them were the same, boring, culturally ignorant, and nosy. Bella chewed on her bottom lip, a question written on her forehead like she realized my being here was totally out of the fucking blue—and unanswerable without me filling in the blanks. Her curiosity turned to deep regret, the kind that girls only sort of felt. "I'm still so sorry about your head… if there's anything I can do to help, I—"
That's very off topic of you, Bella.
"All in the past, don't worry about it," I said dismissively. "Anyway, I came here for something important." I looked around, making sure there weren't any eavesdroppers. Potential assholes just waiting for the chance at gossip. Even if there was anyone to worry about they'd probably think this was some roleplay game and not take me seriously. They could tell the whole fucking school and no one would bat an eye. It helped alleviate my paranoia though, in looking.
Bella's eyebrows scrunched together. "I don't think I'm the best person for that."
"You love humbling yourself, don't you?" I rolled my eyes. "Anyway. I know a lot, Bella. Been through a lot. Seen a lot. Yada, yada. I may be a high school sophomore but I'm experienced, you know?"
Bella wasn't getting the hints at all, I could tell that by how puzzled she got the more I yammered. She probably assumed she was the only mortal in the area to know a thing or two about vampires. Outright telling her seemed like my only option. This could end very badly, given I was told not to go off blabbing wolfpack secrets to anyone outside the pack, but this was technically me seeking a solution, information that'd be beneficial in the long run. Besides, I never intended on telling Miss Bella Swan about werewolves. It was the vampire potentially looking for the Cullens I had my eye on. I just had to figure out the means to my end…
Bella blinked. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
I spread my arms like wings, eclipsing the rainclouds behind me. "I know everything. You think you're the only one who sees all the dark, dreary secrets around here? Guess again, future Mrs. Cullen."
Her eyes alerted, flashed, but she hid it quickly. "Um, I don't know what you mean, Alissa."
"Don't try to hide it, Bella." I smirked. It didn't comfort her in the slightest. Good, I say; good! "You do know. There's someone I think your Cullens know that's in the area."
"They're gone," Bella said, glancing around uneasily. "They've been gone since September."
"So?" Even if the Cullens were gone, not everyone got the memo—especially vampires coming from their own territories for an impromptu, self-scheduled visit. I felt annoyed trying to get information from Bella; it was like talking to a corpse, and some corpses talked back. Maybe she hated this conversation and wanted to disappear from it, aiming to get the interrogation over as quickly as possible. Most probably she was still sore over her twinkle-headed boyfriend and his family leaving to God-knows-the-fuck-where without her. "There's one of them out there, closer than you or I could even imagine. You've gotta tell me what you can."
"How do—how do you know? About them?" Bella's eyes, wide with horror, got larger the more my silence ensued.
Fuck, I never actually acquired a plan for what I'd claim once I revealed my cards. I couldn't get away with saying something ridiculous like, Oh, it's kinda obvious the supernatural exists. You'd have to be an idiot not to see it. There had to be a logical reason I knew, otherwise Bella would realize something was off about my own understanding of her previous lover's family—and she'd learn about the wolves from my defeated mouth's shitshow of an explanation. Using them as a buffer for my newfound reality would be an even dumber move on my part. God, what could I even do?
Quickly, before Bella could grow suspicious, I said, "The Cullens saved me a few years ago." That sounded plausible enough. Her bewildered expression prompted me to elaborate, though every word was fucking improv: "I got lost in the woods past the reservation, and some nomad—you know, one of those vampires that goes from territory to territory hunting—caught me. He was going to kill me if it wasn't for Carlisle."
Truly I didn't know if the Cullens were the slightest bit heroic. They had to be somewhat sympathizing of humans or they never would have thought to come here and integrate themselves into everyday human society. Maybe "human sympathy" was a bit of a stretch, even for vegetarian vampires. Roman had his own moral compass, but I couldn't apply his unwonted ways to a family I barely knew.
Fuck, I was dragging myself into a Danger! Danger! zone. One slip-up on my part could ruin everything.
I plastered a calm look on my face, replacing the flitting nerves that wormed their way all over it.
Bella looked a bit perplexed, but who was she to deny her loving vampire family saved a girl in need? "You never mentioned it before. Last time we hung out, you could have—"
"Yeah, because I didn't feel a need to," I said, talking out of my ass. I waved off any other questions she had lapping at the mouth. I needed to get what I came for. If I didn't make haste, the pack would kill me. My arriving late would sure as shit tip them off. I didn't feel like dying today, nor any day. No bueno. "Now, if we've got that handled, is there anybody you know who'd be here to see the Cullens?"
"None that I can think of—" Bella started. That's about when her expression changed completely. I watched, a bit horrified myself, as spasms hit, transforming her nervous face into the face a horror movie protagonist would make right before the killer struck. The only typical feature missing was her mouth open in a scream; even then I checked behind me to make sure there wasn't some crazy psycho sneaking up. "There's… something. I don't know."
I returned to staring at her, hands buried deep in my hoodie pockets. "What?" I pressed. "This is important, Bella. What if they're dangerous?"
Or innocent. There was the slim chance the vampire on La Push soil was amber-eyed and benign like a bunny rabbit.
"There's Victoria," Bella admitted.
The name didn't sound familiar at all. I didn't expect it to anyway; what vampires would I know other than the Cullens, Roman, and Dakota? "Who's that?" I parroted from my dimwitted brain's projections into the unknown.
"We killed her mate last year." Bella rubbed her arm, looking over her shoulder paranoidly. "His name was James and he tried to kill me. He lured me out somewhere alone and if it wasn't for Carlisle and Edward I would have turned." She showed me where a healing bite wound was on the arm she was rubbing.
I found this information overwhelming, but it was exactly what I wanted so maybe it was hypocritical to suddenly wish I knew none of this. I nodded, pushing my personal emotions to the side. "Okay, so she wants revenge?"
"What did they look like?" Bella asked. It occurred to me that I had nothing to go on besides the pack's sense of smell—and whatever sparing details they noticed about the intruder. None that were reported back to me. Stupid Paul and his rushed text messages.
"I didn't get a good look. Too dark, too fast," I lied, masking my unease about how well she could read people with an indifferent shrug. "But I know what little details I did get match a bloodsucker's profile perfectly."
Bella nodded, looking about as uneasy as I felt. "She'll be coming after me… maybe you should stay out of Forks. If she catches you around me she'll come after you too."
"Are you offering yourself up? Free blood bank and all that?" I fought a snicker, imagining her in the woods, blinking sign above her. Vampires would come from all over for just a taste. Well, depending on how she tasted. She had to be one hell of a mortal to gain some posh geezer's favor. "Geez."
"No! I just mean—they're dangerous," Bella stressed.
"Yes," I said, my eyes owlish. Blink. Blink. "Dangerous like Dahmer? Dangerous like Manson? Dangerous like Ed Gein?"
"Um, all of the above," Bella said. She obviously didn't have a clue what an "Alissa-inspired rhetorical question" was. Maybe the set threw her off. Should have stuck with the singular. "I know we don't know each other that well, but if it's Victoria out there, she'll do anything to get to me. She'll kill anyone."
"Anyone, you say," I said, Jacob's head popping up behind my eyelids. I closed my eyes for a brief bit, reveling in a one-on-one between him and Bella's pursuer. Ah… marvelous. Unfortunately his newly-acquired wolf prowess would put a damper on the outcome. All that "designed to kill vampires" hullabaloo. The "Oh, they're fast? We're faster!" baloney. Jacob may have inevitably lost as a human, but now he was half-wolf; he stood a chance, more than a chance. I popped open an eye, my pleased smile disintegrating. "Fucking physics."
It wasn't physics. It was Quileute ancestry. I couldn't curse that in front of Bella without further trifle, though.
Bella watched me nervously. Oh, poor girl. She thought I was insane.
Just like I popped open an eye, I popped on a too-wide, blatantly insincere smile too. "Well, that concludes our talk. Great talk, by the way; very riveting. You know you're getting hunted by a Dracula one-off and I know I should really lay off the drugs, so thanks. See ya."
Bella tried saying something. Really, she did. Her body raised up through the unnerved breath she was about to speak through—but it blew out as fast as she took it. I backed up from her to my car, bumping into it with a sharp squeak. Fucking exits—they were so easy to completely ruin. I wanted to smack myself white, entirely irritated about Bella and life and vampires and everything, going into autopilot mode with a swift click in my brain. I opened the driver's side door violently and turned the key. Bella was still stuck in the same spot when my car, my Dad's car sputtered to life. She raised her hand in a wave, the confusion still showing on her face.
I nearly hit a tree on my high-speed, Fast and the Furious inspired drive to Emily's. It left me rattled and wanting to go home instead anything was better than going home to an empty house.
Anything.
Not knowing the terrain of Emily's house I was a bit awkward leaving my Dad's car and getting a good eye of how it looked on the outside. The house itself was a little plain but what house wasn't on the reserve? I never expected much on social calls. What I got usually met my expectations, if not exceeding them—especially given how little good there was to go on. My own house was pretty nice interior-wise, but the exterior was like anybody else's. I shook my head, clearing it of any want and desire to check around back. What the fuck is wrong with you?
I twirled my key ring, trying to feel casual. The closer I got to the front door the louder the laughter got. The boys were already here. My heart jolted, accelerating. I was expecting to be late but not that late. What time was it, anyway? I fished out my phone, tapping the buttons furiously until the screen lit up. Five minutes until 5. 4:55. Fuck. My nerves were shot the moment I replaced my little Motorola where it belonged in my jeans' backside pocket.
Jesus, this wasn't a shocker as much as it was the one outcome I really hoped I could avoid. I'd have to make the best of it. Lying came second nature in situations best left without a trial, and if I had to lie my way out of consequences by Golly I would, without hesitation. I just had to put all my thoughts that could get me into trouble on the back burner.
I inhaled and exhaled. I'd never been so nervous for—what? To go into someone's house? Ridiculous.
I opened the door before I could chicken out and get back into my car, driving off to a less occupied location to safely do introspection. The laughter went silent. I was immediately in their vantage, standing with a foot inside Sam and Emily's dining area.
My shoulders sagged silently when it was just Embry and Jared at the dining table, Emily standing above them with her hands on the top. Paul, Sam, and Jacob weren't anywhere to be seen.
Embry grinned at my disheveled arrival. "Well, look what the wolf dragged in," he said, laughing at his own dumb joke. "You look crazy."
I scowled, shutting the door behind me. I shoved my shoes off, unwilling to wear muddy boots in Sam and Emily's home. It was much prettier inside, built like a modern family's. "This close, Embry," I told him hatefully, pinching my fingers close enough that there was barely an indent of space left. "I may not be able to kick your ass but I can hurt you in other ways."
He caught my meaningful gaze and sobered up, the grin falling a little. He knew exactly what threat I was implying.
"Hey, Lis," Jared said with a wave from the table. He was shirtless, like Embry, and wearing a part of jean shorts that made me want to vomit. Jean shorts were the bane of men's fashion. They deserved to be fucking burned. I avoided looking, trying to hold his carefree, well-meaning gaze. "Paul said you'd be here."
I nodded, looking over at Emily. Emily met my eyes and removed her hands from the wooden tabletop, her footfalls soft as she came over to me. I was fully prepared, but wholly uncomfortable, when she wrapped me up in a hug. She had the presence of a Mom but that didn't make me anymore used to affection, especially from females. I grew up with Jared, and Jared wasn't the most physical person. He was more about showing than telling, like most guys I knew, just primarily with outward physical bursts. And not by hugging and doing being familial. The only person he ever got physically affectionate with was Kim. Paul was built the same way.
Emily was a whole different ball park. She was kind and welcoming and loving and nothing like I was accustomed to. I returned her hug, sinking into it. It came to me painfully that I'd never been hugged by any other girl but Kallie and my mother. And my mother was dead.
"I'm glad to see you here, Alissa. You'll need to start coming over more often. Kim's here on the weekends, you know," she said in a reprimanding tone, smiling through the chide. I grimaced at Kim's name. "You're a part of our family now."
Families and I don't do well, I thought, glancing over at Jared. He didn't know anything about what went on between Kim and I earlier. He definitely would by dinner. I was more than rude to her, and she didn't look like the type to keep things to herself. I was in for a lecture. A Cameron domestic. A brother-sister spat. We hadn't had one of those in a while.
I shook myself out of my irrelevant thoughts and smiled. "Thanks, I'll try not to start any fights. At least not while inside," I said jestingly, relieved when she laughed. "Mind if I sit?"
Emily's warmth disappeared the same time her arms did, and I felt violently cold in their absence. "Of course," she said. "You don't have to ask, sweetheart."
I nodded, putting it away for future reference, and walked over to sit beside Embry. He immediately knocked his foot into my leg; I returned his prod with a well-aimed kick of my own. Too bad it missed the groin.
Embry and I had gotten closer in the three days since Roman and Dakota took off. It was a weird development that I didn't hate, as much as it pained me to say it. I didn't know what to make of him, labeling him off as some puppy-dog who wouldn't stop asking questions about Kallie but now after actually talking to him, by ourselves and without a Kallie question thrown in, he wasn't so off-putting. He was funny and friendly. He had a good sense of humor that complemented my own. Paul wasn't so keen on us finding common ground to mull over but I didn't care. Embry didn't either. He was probably my favorite pack member after Paul, beating my own brother out for number two.
It really sucked that he imprinted. Most of the guys around here became wimps and unfun losers thanks to their soulmates.
I smirked wolfishly at Embry, getting a bewildering cross-eye as a response.
Idiot. I transported my eyes over to the delectable treats Emily made for us all.
I only had a chance to grab one of the blueberry muffins from the basket on the table before the interrogation started.
A loud crunch came from the chocolate-chip muffin Jared had in his hand. "You didn't come immediately from school," he pointed out, crumbs sprinkling from both sides of his mouth.
I blanched back. Embry had a similar look of repulsion on his face.
"You're fucking disgusting, you know that?" I said, apologetically glancing over at Emily for my "potty mouth". She had her back turned to us however, occupied with some kitchen appliance. My money was on her getting ready to mix a new batch of muffins. "Ugh. I had something to do."
If possible the way Jared looked at me intensified. Closer and closer. "What?" he asked, refusing to focus on the chocolate staining his left pectoral muscle. That was more important than whatever this was.
"None of your business."
Jared glared. "As your older brother it sure as hell's my business."
Embry, ever the peacemaker, said, "Maybe she had to stop by your all's house for something. Let up, man."
"Yeah, Jared," I taunted. "Maybe I had to pick up some Plan B for what I had planned later."
Ah, fuck, I did it now.
"Plan what?" I almost cackled at the way Jared crushed the remaining half of the muffin in his fist. There was a fire burning in his eyes, steam billowing out of his ears. He'd shift, destroying Emily's perfectly polished table, if I didn't extinguish the flames.
My "better" judgment told me to keep the rise, for comedic purposes. I knew better than to listen to that.
I scoffed. "You're so gullible. What money do I have to spend on that shit?"
Jared released his fist, letting the muffin crumbs fall to the tabletop. "That mouth's going to get you into trouble someday," he warned me.
I contemplated the different troubles I'd already gotten into these days, from Jacob to my many detentions to visits with Mr. Meadows to my disastrous failed dates to Dakota. "Too late," I said, shrugging.
Jared rolled his eyes as Embry laughed, nudging me. "Paul's gonna have detention until he graduates for truancy if he doesn't quit missing school after today."
This was news to me. "Oh shit, really?" This could become a big issue, what with Sam regularly requiring the guys to skip whenever something crucial came up. It was possible that Paul's education was in jeopardy. I'd risk the Big Bad Wolf's choppers to avoid that. School just wasn't the same without that grizzly lovable oaf around. "Dunno how that'll work with Sam."
"I think Sam's going to let him off the hook," Jared chimed in. "He'll get into big trouble if he misses more, especially with all the fights he's been in. It could bring him to court."
Court. That was not the future I envisioned for Paul. He was like me: mouthy. He'd get the worst brunt of whatever punishment they deemed his juvenile crimes guilty of for mouthing off to the judge. He just couldn't help himself. Being serious wasn't his forte.
I looked at the table thoughtfully. Huh, how would I cope? "I will literally commit arson if they expel him. We'll be drop-out delinquents together."
"No, you'd be two idiots in juvie, learning how to fit back into society," Embry said, flicking a piece of Jared's dead-and-gone muffin at my forehead. I scowled and blew a livid raspberry.
"Better than being here with you two goo-for-brains knuckleheads," I said, taking a handful of crumbs and smacking Embry right in the face with them.
Embry gasped, quickly brushing all over his face to make himself less of a chocolate-chip. As he clambered about I took a deep bite out of my own muffin. Holy shit. Absolutely scrummy, as the Brits would say.
"Should I call Mr. Meadows?" Jared asked, raising his eyebrows at me. I saw Emily look over inquisitively out of the corner of my eye.
I glared, chewing before swallowing. "For what? Being myself?"
"For being a sociopath," he said bluntly.
Rude. More than rude. Rude and false.
"Nice accusation you got there," I told him, pointing my finger at him with the hand clutching a muffin chunk. I felt blueberry bleeding into my palm. "I've got a good place you can put it and it's not a shrink."
Prancing around the hateful, swear-word-infested dialogue I truly felt like putting out into the open was exhausting. It sucked and it made me feel like a stranger. I didn't want Emily thinking I was a heathen but that was exactly what I was so maybe, just maybe, I could be myself inconsequentially. Or lose everyone's patience while trying.
Jared smirked, seeing the inner conflict I was having. "C'mon, Alissa, we all know you wanna swear. Go on and do it. No Mrs. Johnson around to give you detentions."
I made a weird grumble sound in the back of my throat, throwing a hapless piece of muffin at his head. It hit the target right on the bullseye and I listened to him call me a number of things, many of them ranging from "piece of work" to "the real mongrel around here." I deserved it, having hit him right in the eye; there had to have been a little residue left there. I smiled victoriously and gave Embry a high-five under the table.
The tension between Jared and I evaporated after he got to spew a half-eaten piece of muffin at my mouth, I lashed out with every fiber in me, and Emily had to get in between us before we started throwing fists. Or I did something stupidly regrettable and despicable, even for me.
We sat around and talked, mostly me and Embry and Emily and Jared through side-conversations. Embry asked me his Kallie-related question of the day, I answered glumly, the topic switched to who our fighters would be in a pop culture Battle Royale. I brought Hulk Hogan and Tony Hawk to the table, to his bemusement; he declared Darth Vader and Jason Voorhees were his dream team, to mine.
"Darth Vader would betray you," I said, muffled by a mouthful of muffin. My third, actually. "I'm not complaining whatsoever, just saying. And Jason Voorhees? Really?"
Embry held out his arms. "Hear me out—Darth Vader is badass. Jason is badass. The two of them together would be unbeatable. Undefeated champions!"
I thought it over. Yes, Darth Vader was a skilled Sith and could absolutely crush any of his opponents, but he was also all about advancing his selfish motivations and wouldn't work in anyone's favor except his own. Only in strange instances of heart did he do anything outside what served him best. And Jason Voorhees was a silent powerhouse that could and would destroy anyone according to his mother's orders. He was also in Camp Crystal Lake rotting at the bottom of the lake. Embry had his work cut out for him, but whatever... If I could bring a skating legend just to attain my out-of-the-blue image of Tony Hawk skating with Hulk Hogan on his shoulders, Embry could make an impossible duo.
We spent more than a half hour discussing our teams and their pros and cons, only for the door to abruptly burst open midway through. We turned, expecting the wolves and their attention-grabbing entrance—getting that exactly.
Sam was first, and he came instantly to Emily's side; Paul was next, doing the same and beelining for me. I felt fucking odd given how easy trashing imprint couples came to me less than forty minutes ago. Especially odd when he pressed his lips to my cheek and stationary as a monument, he stood behind my chair, arms slinking around to display themselves at my chest. I pushed the oddness aside, trying to take the never-befores in stride. Even if Paul had his moments of being like any other boyfriend, he was still the doggish dickhead I loved. I had no reason to worry we were reverting to a Days of Our Lives couple.
I didn't see Jacob until he took Emily's vacated seat she left prior to them entering. He was bigger than when I last paid any attention to him, at least half a foot taller and two or three inches wider. His long dark hair was completely gone, replaced by a cut close to his scalp. The two of us shared a look.
My sworn enemy was good-looking underneath the long hair and puppy love. What a fucking miracle.
I recalled my talk with Bella, and I had to smirk. She knew about vampires, the very creatures Jacob and his blood brothers were "designed to kill." I wondered how exactly that conversation went over. If they told him already.
Jacob scowled at me. "Why does your face look like that? Stop it."
I thought fast. "Oh, nothing," I said innocently, sugary sweet—two things I certainly was not. "It's just funny how you used to hate the stuffing outta these guys and now you're here, part of their cult. Don't you just love karma?"
"Alissa," Sam said warningly. I glanced over at him, surprised to see just how angry he was. It couldn't have just been because I was trying for a rise out of their new recruit. His eyes danced between me and the fleshed heater feet behind my chair, and it clicked. He knows about last night.
This didn't come like some plot twist—I knew perfectly well that Paul had no chance of hiding anything we did together. I really wanted to book it regardless, hating anything to do with getting my ass handed to me. In front of Jacob, too? Like a cake with no eggs, milk, or butter.
I smiled. "Now Sam, you know how persuasive I can be… and how much power the imprint bond has."
Sam's Alpha eyes sharpened, like he was about ready to lay so hard into me that I'd cooperate for the rest of my days, but Jacob was confused. We turned to him when he asked, "Wait, you never said anything about an 'imprint bond.' I thought you told me everything already?"
If he knew everything, then he already knew about Bella. That had to have been hilarious to watch. I'd need to catch a breakdown of everything from Embry later. I stayed smiling and snuggling into the wooden back of my chair, letting Paul's hand glide up to massage my right shoulder. He playfully pinched me and God, I wanted to wallop him in the fucking head.
"Paul is Alissa's imprint," Sam said, starting with an example. Jacob's eyes bugged out when they flickered away from his Alpha to where I was. He was unreadable but I hazarded a guess he wasn't too thrilled at Sam's implied meaning to an "imprint bond." Unless the fool in love within him was hoping that Bella would be his imprint…. I wouldn't at all be surprised. He loved setting himself up for heartbreak the same way I did for failure.
"Okay, so what's an imprint?" he asked, noticing Sam's own close proximity to Emily. He looked over at Embry and Jared, a question in his eyes. It almost surprised me when I realized he was the only one in the room who didn't have one.
"It's like a soul-mate," I said, smirking.
Jacob's confusion grew. "How does it work?"
"Gravity moves, and the center of your universe becomes her. It doesn't matter who she is or what she does, you'll want to be hers and her be yours. You won't be able to think about anyone but her," Jared said lazily into the table, obviously off in Kim La La Land.
"So, love at first sight?" Jacob asked skeptically.
"No," Paul said, blunt as ever. "You can't love someone until you know them."
"Aw, Paul, I didn't know you were a secret softie," I said, craning my head back to cheese up at him. He rolled his eyes.
Jacob shook his head. "Okay, I guess I understand… does every shifter have one?"
Sam's face transitioned to grim, keeping a soft hand on Emily's neck. "It's traditionally rare, but so far each of us have imprinted. You're new so it's unsurprising that you're without one. It's untelling you'll get one or not."
"You imprinted?" Jacob asked, staring at Embry in astonishment.
Embry shrugged sheepishly. "Yeah, on Kallie O'Brien…"
"Speaking of which, Kallie knows about vampires. Brandon does too," I chirped, shrinking back when all eyes snapped to me. They didn't leave like I expected—no, wanted them to.
Sam raised his eyebrows, reverting to Alpha mode immediately. He was pretty much there already but now he was interrogative, as opposed to advising. "And you failed to mention this why?"
"Well, the thing is I didn't know at the time that what we all said to each other happened outside of Dakota," I said. "When I went outside of their house I got sucked into an illusion with the dick. So it's taken a bit understanding when exactly he got a hold on my mental. But when I went to their house they saw Dakota outside and made that clear. Brandon started saying random things about this magician he knew who had the same coffin runway look as Dakota and it clicked he was talking about Roman. He seemed to believe completely that vampires were real but Kallie was more… I dunno, unconvinced. After all that they definitely shouldn't have more doubts."
"Did you talk to her?" Sam asked.
I contemplated lying, but they could all hear my heartbeat so they'd know when I was. I bit my bottom lip, sucking it underneath my teeth. "No," I admitted. "She's kind of pissed at me. And I'm kind of pissed at her. I could have died, you know."
Jacob definitely knew all about Dakota; he was sitting and watching our exchange, not the least bit confused. It must have been one of the first explanations Sam and the others gave him after he shifted back to human. At our pause he said questioningly, "If she's Embry's imprint, she'll have to know about the pack, right?"
"Yes, at one point," Sam said, thoughtfully looking at me. "Her brother is one to watch. He may shift."
Brandon's father was one-tenth Native, making him as pale as someone from Forks. I myself wasn't the most indicatory of a Native but Brandon was a special case of "Do I belong here?" difference. Him potentially shifting was baffling.
"How?" I knew I looked silly. My "I'm confused" face was graceless and frankly ugly. "His Dad's one-tenth."
Sam gestured to Embry, who went tense under the sudden attention. "Embry doesn't know who his father is. We had no reason to believe he'd shift. When he did, it was a shock to us all. The gene could come from the mother or father, we have no way of knowing. Or he could have a different biological father."
I nodded in understanding. "Keep an eye on him then—"
"Oh my God, Alissa," Jared said angrily, bursting through the conversation I was already having. I turned my head. He had his phone on the table and he was really angry, glaring at me, the face of reckoning. My heart dropped when I came to see Sam's confrontation wasn't the only one I'd be getting today. Not that I didn't already suspect this. "What the hell did Kim do to you? You made her cry."
"I knew she'd message you," I said accusingly, bringing my hand up and running it down my face. I collected my bearings, avoiding looking at Jared. "Look, she deserved it. She was being annoying and her friends were getting in my business. If she doesn't want me to be mean to her, she could, I don't know, not gossip?"
"Kim doesn't gossip; she was just trying to help you," Jared said. Did he seriously believe that? Every girl at the stupid fucking school gossiped, about me, about the Meadows family, about which boys were banging which girls—he had to be braindead not to see it.
"Sure, sure," I said sarcastically. I glared daggers at the other side of the table, where not one, but two assholes were sitting. "Bringing up rumors that nimrod over there started really helped me."
Jacob narrowed his eyes. "Rumors? I didn't tell anyone anything but the truth."
Like it usually did my patience snapped.
"God, I will fucking murder you, Black," I snarled at him, feeling Paul hold me back. We took turns playing mediator; it was his turn today apparently.
"Didn't you also screw Jeremiah?" Jacob asked, leaning back like he didn't have a care in the world. Maybe he didn't.
"No, but one more word and I'll make Bella think you have fucking mono," I said threateningly. Honestly he didn't even have to say another word; I intended on letting her know the next time we talked. "I don't know what it is with you spreading shit but it's getting pretty old."
"You make it easy for yourself," Jacob said with a smile.
Still pissed about my play in Kim's emotional instability, Jared was scowling at me after I snuck a glance at him. "There's a reason rumors go around about you, Alissa, and it's because you're a bitch," he ranted, and Emily gasped. She had no idea what kind of shit she was getting herself into having the three of us at a dinner together.
"Enough," Sam said sternly. We all ignored him, even if there was an Alpha command somewhere in there.
I stood up, wrenching off Paul's arms. "You're such an asshole," I said angrily, taking all that was in me not to yell. "You really want to believe your girlfriend over me? She only came crying to you because you're blind as a fucking bat and will believe whatever bullshit she tells you. If plain Jane thinks me telling her off is the worst I can do, I'll fucking deck her the next time I see her. You think I won't? I'm sick of you all thinking you can say and do whatever you want and it doesn't hurt me—"
"That's because it doesn't hurt you; you just say it does for attention!" Jared shouted, effectively cutting me off. I glared furiously. Contrary to what he believed that fucking hurt.
I opened my mouth to say something equally as hurtful but someone slammed their hands on the tabletop, shaking it violently.
"ENOUGH!" Sam roared.
We instantly fell silent. I continued to glare at Jared, wanting nothing more than to hit him and hit his stupid girlfriend, but I had no way of doing anything except sitting and scowling. Sam was pissed and so was Jared and even Jacob to an extent. Paul was probably about to kick Jared's teeth in for talking to me like that, probably Jacob's too. I was seething. I was one short second away from turning both assholes on the opposite side of the table into mincemeat and leaving with a skip in my step. I wasn't lying; I really had reached my limit and couldn't take it anymore.
"Jared, don't say another word to her," Sam said to Jared sternly, the Alpha command heard by us all. Jared nodded wordlessly, sending me another glare. Sam looked over at me with the same heat. "And Alissa, we have more pressing matters than arguing. Wait until you leave."
Fuck you, Sam, I thought but bit my tongue, giving a sharp nod. I grumpily plopped back down into my seat. Paul's hands returned to roaming around on my shoulders and spine.
The dick leaned in and whispered into my ear, "That didn't last very long."
I threw my hand back mindlessly, reveling in the smack I made. It hurt me more than it hurt him but the thought was there, the sentiment. Regardless of how patronizing it was when he feigned hurt, I let the smug bitch in me fester. Any rise in mood would lessen how much I wanted to bruise someone and leave.
With or without the rise I still sulked at my seat. Awful, I felt awful.
Jacob caught my eye across the table and smirked. "You going to cry, Cameron?"
Sam watched me with a warning plain as day in his eyes. He knew I could easily provoke Jacob to shift if I wanted to.
Paul didn't care; a noise rumbled in his throat. "Don't talk to her," he growled.
Jacob scoffed. "She's no angel," he told Paul. Paul made another sound that shook my backside.
Like Paul, I also didn't care.
I made myself sit still, against my desire to pound Jacob into next year. "I will make you wish you were never born, Black. Shut up," I said through gritted teeth. Accidentally I let my fist slam into the table as an indicator that I was pissed off before it popped open into a palm, and I almost felt glee when my anger broke a fuse, resulting in a roar louder than Sam's and a wisp of a shadowed wolf coming out of the crescent tattoo that still hadn't lost its bold black hue. It crashed into the muffin basket, sending three blueberry ones scattering. The wolf spirit left right as it came nose-to-nose with Jacob.
Scaredy cat Jacob Black released a rather feminine yell and stumbled away from the table, his chair crashing back from underneath him.
He pointed at finger at me. "What the fuck—why didn't anyone tell me Alissa Cameron was a witch?!" he cried. So they hadn't told him everything.
I grinned at him sinisterly, though my heart pounded, not having expected that. "Now to turn you into a shrimp," I said, curving my hand like another shot of wolfish doom would appear, spelling death for one Jacob Black. He flinched back, but not without glaring at me like I was the Devil.
"Alissa," Sam said sternly.
I glanced at him, back at Jacob, then dropped my hand. There wouldn't have been a show anyway, not while I was still easily overpowered by my emotions. The only real winners here were the spectators.
"Seriously. What the fuck," Jacob said breathlessly, watching me warily.
Jared laughed. "She's a witch, like you said. Didn't you notice the pointy nose and greasy hair?"
I wished I had control of my powers; I'd be a relentless bomb of jump-scares, my only life goal to terrify Jared and Jacob into squealing like pansies. "You think that's an insult but it's really not; I want to be a witch," I said sweetly. "First thing I'd do is sew your mouth shut, Jared. Try tonguing Kim down with stitched lips, piss-for-brains—"
"Alissa, what did I just say?" Sam said, sounding like a father. I really didn't care for it, but listened anyway, knowing I'd be kicked out if I didn't. Like that's a bad thing… "Now, if that's over with, we have the redhead to discuss."
Sam gave me one last "watch yourself" glare before we all could untense, settling back like none of that just happened. It did happen sadly. Couldn't erase the past, no matter how much we all wished we could.
Jacob stewed in the events, until eventually he erupted, unable to hold it in anymore. "What the hell is she?" he asked.
My nose involuntarily creased. Uh, right here, asshole. You could ask me yourself?
"Her father's the Council's emissary and he runs the Archives. He's currently on bedrest from the incident we told you about," Sam said in place of me. "She has a connection to our ancestors none of us have. It runs in her family."
Jacob's eyes automatically flew to Jared. "Why didn't he get them then?"
"Usually there aren't any vampires running amuck," I said drily. Jacob's returning stare was blank. "Are you brain-dead? That's how you phase."
"The redhead," he said, the answer dawning on him.
Yes, the redhead—who now had a name. Victoria. What Bella told me rattled in my head, telling me to say something, anything. The pack needed to know. But my lips stayed sealed.
I wouldn't tell the boys yet, partially because I was a petulant child and didn't enjoy helping anyone who thought they could drill into me and I wouldn't crack because I was supposedly bulletproof. Okay, okay, who was I kidding? That was the entire reason.
I put on my best apathetic face and crossed my legs underneath the table, sinking back into Paul's body heat.
"We'll need to increase patrol and move into Forks," Sam said seriously, glancing around at the wolves that occupied the table. "The redhead's here for something."
I zoned out for the rest of his orders and suggestions, only vaguely hearing Paul say he couldn't wait to "sink his teeth into the bloodsucker." I only remembered it because it made me the slightest bit turned on and I had to sink my face into the tabletop to avoid my thoughts clearly defining themselves. I had a very expressive face.
After they finished, Emily asked if everyone wanted to stay for dinner, before Paul and Embry left for their night shift. Jacob and Jared eagerly agreed, and Sam obviously had no choice since this was his fiancée, but I was unusually silent. I didn't feel like my usual self at all. I wanted to go home and sleep. I'd do just that.
"No thanks, Emily," I said, catching Jacob's look of delight. Jared was expressionless; as my brother, he probably knew there was something wrong but wouldn't comment on it because he was still mad at me. I looked away from them and smiled. It was more fake than any smile I'd ever put out. "Thanks for the muffins. I'll be sure to come by more, if you don't mind."
"Alissa Cameron being polite, never thought I'd see the day," Jacob said, guffawing. I sent him my most menacing glare, knowing it'd just amuse him. I was surprised Paul hadn't already shifted and attacked him or Jared. He had a bad handle on his temper, just like I did.
Emily smiled. "Of course, sweetheart. Us imprints have to stick together," she said, and I slowly rose from my seat. Emily herself stood and maneuvered around the table, bringing me into a tight hug.
"See ya at school tomorrow," Embry said with a grin and a salute.
Sam gave a curt nod and Jacob said nothing and Jared's returning glare was nothing short of fuming. I couldn't wait to get out of here.
Paul wrapped an arm around my shoulder and steered me out of the house. Once we were out on Emily and Sam's porch he turned and stared at me curiously.
"You good?" he asked.
I shrugged. By now I was used to people hating me or being upset by something I did. "Yeah. I just don't want to be in a room with them right now," I said, knowing perfectly well Jacob and Jared could hear me.
"You don't know how hard it was not to beat the shit out of them. Jared was easier, but Jacob's a newbie and doesn't know his ass from his elbow. They've got another thing coming if they think they can bitch at you whenever you come around," Paul said gruffly and I almost smiled. He looked over at my Dad's car and back at me, brow cinched. "I won't get off til 1 or 2. Want me to call you after?"
I would definitely not be awake at that time but I liked our nighttime calls and we wouldn't be able to goof off during his patrols anymore so I looked at him and said, "Yeah, sure."
Paul grinned, raising his eyebrows. His arms slipped around my waist. "I'll be your booty call," he said.
I rolled my eyes but smiled anyway. "You'll have to up your game then. Not just anyone can be my booty call."
Paul nodded seriously before he broke character, his hands rising to hold my shoulders. "You sure you're okay? Do you want me to drag them out and make them grovel at your feet? If Sam won't say something, I will."
"No, no, it's fine," I said. I wouldn't have minded that, though. "Hey, go have dinner. Maybe you'll catch a midnight granite snack. I've gotta go work on my art project anyway."
Paul leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead. It felt nice but I wanted something more so I reached up, tilting his head to meet my lips instead. It was a farewell kiss, unlike others that ranged from sweet to hot to sloppy to affectionate. I allowed my fingers to graze his cheekbone lightly, only coming away when I became acutely aware of just how dark it was. There was barely any daylight left.
His lips tasted as I remembered them, like nothing. But they felt perfect, as cheesy as that was to say. He could kiss like an expert. It made me think about the many girls he was with before me, the ones I pushed to the back of my mind because the thought made me feel insecure. He must have picked up a thing or two in his excursions.
"Bye, Paul," I told him, forgoing the even-more-cheesy "I love you" afterthought.
Paul smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. "Bye, Lissy." I watched him go back in through the front door, giving another wave before he disappeared completely. I heard laughter and conversation pick up like he never left. I didn't belong there like the rest of them. I was a vegetable in a portrait of a fruit basket: not supposed to be there.
I turned and headed to my Dad's car, fishing out my key ring. It was getting darker and I needed to head home before true night came. I hated driving in the dark.
As I was turning the key in the side of my car, I heard something. Or I thought I heard something. It was like a whisper in the air, a soft lullaby under a crescendo of cheers. It lulled me into a sense of security. It called for me to follow it.
I shook myself out of it. No, ignore it. It was probably not real. It couldn't be. I was the only one out here.
But I heard it again. It was louder this time, carrying over two words I caught, "wind" and "rain." I was confused. It sounded like someone was singing. Who could be out here at this time of day/evening?
I went against every instinct telling me to get into the car and head home. I turned and jogged through the mud and grass, the voice directing me into the woods.
It got louder as I went. The become sounded eerily like something I knew, and the words felt even more familiar. I realized as my nerves bundled themselves up, fear getting the best of me, that it was a song from my childhood. Dad would sing it to Jared and me because it was one of his favorites and one of his Dad's favorites. It was nothing like a lullaby but it could be beautiful. Dad had a soothing voice when he sang. The foreboding words of the song sounded like a wonderful fate when they came out like a bird's twitter.
I pushed a branch out of my way, the back of my head whacked after I released. I cursed, stumbling forward and losing my balance, knees giving out into the mud. Fuck, I thought.
I heard the song wholly now.
"And she said, 'There, look through the trees.
The sun always shines, always on time.
Dare, rest on your knees
and in a prayer, follow me there…'"
I stood up, brushing the mud off my jeans. I pushed through more branches, ducking from blows and dodging pine needles. As I pushed through a couple of trees blocked by a shrub I saw it. I saw him.
My jaw went slack and I blinked, not believing the sight in front of me. But every time I blinked the scene stayed the same. Every time I told myself it wasn't real, I opened my eyes to see it was.
"Softly I slumber as I turn to powder," the ashen man standing with his back to a tree sang, eyes closed to the inner melody. "Blowing out over the sea, the wind and the rain billow me… though I'm no longer fire."
He was a tall man with hair that hung to his shoulders. In the dying daylight I saw wrinkles all over his face and he was wearing something alarmingly familiar. I gasped as I knew what it was.
The man blinked open two extraordinarily hazel eyes. He came forward into the light and I staggered back. He was translucent.
The singing man in front of me was a spirit.
The singing man in front of me was my grandfather.
"Alissa," he said with a smile so gentle I was sure his lips would break it. "You're finally here."
You're finally here.
The day had been long and painful and nearly impossible to get through, and this…
This was the icing on the cake.
A/N: I said I'd update in a week… I lied. Sorry.
ANYWAYYYYYY I hope you guys enjoyed this update and if you want to see me update more frequently than ever, feedback is essential. I read everyone's comments and concerns and to anyone who's been commenting, ILY! YOU MAKE ME HAPPY! Next chapter has the infamous slap… surely you guys wanna see that? :)
The song that Arcus was singing at the end was Lay Me Down by The Connells'. If you're confused he's come to Earth in spirit form because of Taha Aki's spirit death to train Alissa. We'll get backstory in the next chapter AND we'll get a lot of New Moon material. Y'all excited?
I hated this chapter but it's whatever. You may think a lot of the characters are OOC (Jacob specifically) and that's because their personalities needed to be tweaked for the AU elements I have planned. Their personalities from the books/movies will appear through character development!(And there are reasons why all characters act the way they do. Be patient as they become apparent!)
As always, tell me what you want to see & anything you think should be different. Byeeee!
