Difficulties in Communicating


Beta: [Queen]Bebedora


When Squall saw Rinoa's name appear virtual in the waiting room, his pulse picked up in anticipation as he admitted her into the call. When they connected, a wave of respite he was unaware that he needed came over him.

He recognized the sweater she wore. It was one of his old garden academy sweaters she must have confiscated from his closet before his return. Her appearance was relaxed, her hair secured back into a high ponytail. She only wore her hair that way when she was alone, or more often when she was with him. Only then did he think of his own appearance. He probably looked like hell, exhausted and unshaven. He didn't dare to look at himself on the screen.

"Hey!" That smile was enough for him to forget his initial thought.

"Hi." Squall was unable to hold back a little smile despite the awkwardness of the situation.

It's not like they hadn't communicated like this before. At times, his occupation required extended times away from home, so they managed their relationship across those distances in a similar way.

But this was distinctly different. This made Rinoa feel further away than she actually was. While he was now quarantined in their shared apartment, she was now temporarily housed in the boy's dormitory on the east side of Garden's campus.

"This feels so strange," Rinoa finally admitted, her bubbly smile waning. "I understand why we have to do this, but I miss you so much. I didn't realize when you left that would be the last time…"

Subconsciously, she hugged herself in his sweater. She didn't need to finish. He knew precisely what she meant.

He had only pressed a kiss to her temple to signify his departure, and she only murmured an incoherent goodbye. He was short on time, and he was not leaving for an active field mission. In his mind, Squall was only going to make an appearance in Esthar for publicity's sake and be home by the next day. Zell and Irvine were more than capable of handling what they set out to do. He justified breaking their routine, just this once.

"If I would have known…"

"I know," she said, holding the same regret in her response. Had they known what was about to transpire, Squall would have shown up a lot later for transport. Neither one of them ever suspected that that would be the last time they physically would connect.

"How are you doing?"

"My temperature remains pretty norm—"

Rinoa eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head. "Squall, stop. It's me."

He blinked and then realized he was about to rattle off his status like he had done three times today during Dr. Kadowaki's virtual check-ins.

"Sorry," he managed while trying to assess what answer would provide her with the most assurance. "So far, I feel fine, but we don't have a clear picture of what the incubation period is yet."

Rinoa nodded, understanding what his answer implied. He didn't know how long they would be separated.

"And Laguna?"

That question was harder for him to answer. While the president had shared in confidence with Garden a growing concern regarding a new virus that appeared highly infectious, the intel made it sound like it was mostly contained to outskirt parts of the country. Little did they know that by the time Ragnarok had landed, the numbers had tripled in size, and confirmed cases were about to be announced in Esthar's largest central hospital.

He, Zell, and Irvine had flown in to offer relief supplies and assist in coordinating distribution channels, ensuring protective supplies were reaching those in need efficiently. Their intentions had been in the right place, but all too soon, the demand outpaced supply, leaving a once resourceful country in crisis.

Squall extended their stay three times, but then Ward fell ill— Kiros a few days after that. That's when Garden recalled all personnel to the base. Squall led evacuations for the Galbadian content. On his final day, he spent twenty minutes debriefing Laguna before his long overdue departure. When they were in the air, a transmission came over the air that the President of Esthar had a fever.

Ragnarok was stationary for two days outside Garden while Kadowaki could formalize quarantine protocols to allow them back into their apartments. The cascade of events since then had created a logistical nightmare for Squall that consumed his every waking hour. The operational fallout over uncompleted contracts were swift. While Garden employed ample lawyers worldwide to handle it directly, too many thought they could circumvent procedures to get around them by trying private renegotiations. As if Squall could even care about money when more significant worries lay ahead.

"As of yesterday, he was still working." He shook his head. "Rin, he looked rough."

Rinoa nodded in silent understanding, for which he was grateful. He wasn't ready to verbalize anything past that. Not yet.

"Any updates on Kiros or Ward?"

Both were in the intensive care wing. This invisible opponent struck harder at those with underlying conditions. It was unlike he had ever seen before.

"Kiros' status remains unchanged." They now lived in a world where this was good. He then added, "But, they're talking about putting Ward on a ventilator."

Neither one of them mentioned the statistics.

"What about the therapeutic drug trials Odine is running?" Rinoa repositioned herself on her bed anxiously. She never liked bringing up that man.

Squall shrugged before looking down, not knowing what to say.

"Squall—"

The sound of her voice lifted his attention back to the screen. Her warm smile seemed to stretch clear across Garden, bringing him back to her.

"Laguna is going to be okay. I know he'll beat this thing."

The unknowns of this elusive virus clawing its way out of Esthar robbed him of that certainty. Until the scientists and doctors could find a source, he would have to cling to her hope.

"Ellone is still in Esthar, right?"

He nodded. "With the borders on lockdown and travel restrictions in place, she's likely there for a while."

The idea of Sis being in a hotbed of infections wasn't something he relished, but he disliked the idea of her traveling more. At least, her ability to peek in on Laguna every so often would keep her from going to him. Squall saw the silver lining in that.

"Esthar is doing everything they can to contain it." Rinoa's tone was hopeful.

Her opinion conveyed her annoyance on a different subject he knew Rinoa still grappled with.

"I was briefed this morning on Galbadia's medical guidance for its citizens. Hopefully, Caraway is being more careful."

Her sharp scoff confirmed what he already presumed.

"He's more worried about the slowing economy than the infection rates. I begged him to at least wear a mask, but he just dismisses me, saying he walks five miles a day to make his lungs strong."

"Ah, is that how it works?" Squall feigned enlightenment.

"I don't get where the disconnection is. He is a smart man! I don't know if it's political or if he just won't accept that he's getting older, but nothing I say gets through to him. I swear he's probably taking health advice from his golf course buddies."

Squall understood anything he said for or against the general usually would land him unmanageable territory. The fallout after the war with her father was still an active internal war for Rinoa, one he knew he couldn't help with. Instead, he actively listened the best he could before guiding the conversation away. Staying on this subject would only drown her with more worry.

"What about you Rin? How are you holding up?"

She bit her lip in hesitation he wasn't expecting. "Honestly, there's something I wanted to talk to you about. I know you know the numbers..."

"Eight students, four teachers, nine faculty members, and fifty-five close contacts." He rattled off the numbers like he was partaking in a drill.

She nodded her understanding. "Garden is not prepared for what's coming."

He didn't move, but internally he flinched.

"You want to go help Dr. Kadowaki, don't you?" The words came out unexpectedly. In reality, that notion had been lurking in the back of his mind through the shared bond for some time now.

"I would be more helpful out there than I am—"

"Your magic won't cure a virus, Rin."

"That's not the point."

"That is my point." Squall underscored. "I know you want to rush in and help in any way you can—that's just what you do, and I love that about you— but you can't. Not this time."

Her lips ever so slightly to suppress a pout. He knew it wasn't the response she wanted to hear.

"Squall, I'm young. If I caught it, chances are I would be fine."

"We don't know all the of the data yet."

"Fine. But let's not sit here and pretend this is about the data."

Caught in the crosshairs, Squall abruptly found himself on the defensive.

"You're forcing me into isolation." Her words were accusatory, so he deflected.

"Rin, Garden has everyone under lockdown."

"But not everyone was put there under your order," She highlighted the difference.

He stared at her through the screen. She refused to back down.

The shrug he gave was so small he wondered if she noticed it at all. "What do you want me to say?"

"How about starting with the admission that you're overreacting?" She laughed as if he would catch on to what was so funny. He didn't.

"I can't."

All the lightheartedness disappeared. "Why?"

"Because I don't believe that to be true."

Her expression was unreadable to him. It was unsettling. Is this what he was like?

"Do you think I'll die?" The question was asked point-blank.

Squall chose his next words carefully. "I think it's highly unlikely."

"But?"

The single word cornered him, demanding that he step into an argument he didn't want to have. What made everything worse was the fact he could see how rattled he had become in his image reflected on the screen.

"...but we can't ignore the ramifications if it did."

There. Squall said what was unavoidable. That did not mean he enjoyed how Rinoa had to close her eyes tightly to ward off prickling tears. Hyne, he didn't ask for this either.

"So, this is to make the student population feel safer, right? O-or is it Garden that's worried?" Hurt and anger interchanged rapidly in her tone.

Wishing he had the authority to call a ceasefire, Squall mashed the corner of his palms into his eyes. He didn't want to argue with her. Not like this. "No, Rin, that's not—"

"I must be a giant problem for you right now, huh?" She stared off-camera. She had settled on being angry. "The whole world must be on edge wondering what you would do If I suddenly needed a successor?"

His aversion to questioning outpaced his patience. "Hyne, would you stop?"

"Why? So you can explain how you're doing this out of love? Or maybe, it's for the greater good? Which one is it, Squall?"

"You're not even listening." He called her out, but her words punched back.

"I have been listening, Squall! Every day I hear how bad things are becoming, and instead of allowing me to help, you're choosing the world's comfort level over mine!"

Squall had enough. "Do you seriously not see their point?"

Rinoa scoffed at the camera while shaking her head in dismay. With a little more tact this time, she tried to address him more evenly, though it came out more patronizing. "Squall, as a man of logic and reasoning, are you telling me that you think the odds of me dying over this worth limiting my freedoms?"

Unbelievable. Squall looked away, shaking his head, exasperated at how this all had turned out. "That sounds like a line you stole from your father."

He knew the moment it fell from his lips that he had effectively ended this conversation. He closed his eyes in the resignation of that fact.

The sound of her dismay was barely audible, "Wow, Squall…"

He could hear the pain in her voice, and he already regretted that he had been the one to put it there. "Listen, I—"

"No." The inability for her to look as she raised her hand served as a mute button. "I need some time to process that."

Squall understood. Yet, it felt unfair that he would have to sit with this unresolved.

Can this be resolved?

"I'm glad you're home safe," She quickly added, still looking off-screen. "We can talk about this later."

"Ri—" He started, but with the sound of a blip, her name had been cut short.

Immobilized, the Commander sat staring at his virtual waiting room, hoping after a moment to allow cooler heads to prevail, she might come back to work this out. When he finally accepted that wasn't going to happen, Squall leaned back in his desk chair, feeling the weight of his decision bearing down on him.

Rinoa did not get any of the facts wrong. There had been growing murmurs in chat rooms regarding her presence on campus. With the death toll slowly leaking out of Esthar, the pressure mounted from every direction to move her out of Balamb Garden. While Squall's order to sequester her in the male dormitory satiated initial concerns, how long he could hold off external forces was another. He could not ignore the well-connected video conference that had been scheduled for later this afternoon.

A man of logic and reason? Neither of those was involved in his efforts to keep her on campus—thus closer to him. When he wordlessly vowed to protect her at all costs, he had envisioned battles against men, nations— and, yes, even Garden. A scenario like this had never entered his mind, not even in the darkest of nightmares.

There was no reasoning with something that attacked indiscriminately. No logic guaranteed Rinoa would be safer in Galbadia rather than here with him. He might no longer have a say in that either way. The world Squall had just started to open up to was now threatened, putting him squarely at Hyne's mercy.

And that frightened him.


Layla's Corner


Hey everyone! Go figure I'm late to my own challenge. Thankfully, the rules of said challenge are pretty forgiving (cause I made them up.) It's been a crazy summer here and I kept forgetting to post! (HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Only Layla can manage such feats.)

So this fic will have little drabbles of experiences I have had during the pandemic and how I see it happening in the FF8 universe. I definitely see Fury as being pretty nonchalant (with Rinoa echoing it in her own unique way) and Squall having a damn near impossible time with his anxiety of not being able to control the events around him.

But as you can see, the theme is about communication and the difficulties we have with it during this unique time period. I hope you all enjoy for what it is.