To answer one reviewers question - no. No, I did not die. I just fail horribly at updating is all.
I don't even understand why you guys put up with me anymore.
I am failing so hard as a writer. I don't even have an excuses, and I don't know how to apologize enough. You're all such amazing fans of mine, and I just keep letting you down with these ridiculously long, unexpected delays.
It's another really long chapter, though... Please don't hate me. I love you all.
I did skim over this for spelling errors, but I am sick/exhausted, so I wouldn't be surprised if I missed some. I apologize in advance.
Oh! And this chapter includes a request from Tsukasa-kun, who wanted to see a really explosive fight with bonding at the end, and answers a general request because a lot of you wanted to see a certain character return... You'll see. ;)
Enjoy!
"Tell me about Ciaran."
Silver was on the porch of the Benbow smoking his pipe, but faltered slightly when Jim suddenly came bounding out the back door demanding explanations. Jim hadn't meant to sound so ornery, but the simple fact was that he'd been trying to find a moment alone to talk to Silver all day, and this was the first chance he'd gotten. Meanwhile, it had been nearly impossible to shake his dream from the night before; every time his mind started to wonder, it immediately found it's way back to the way Tabitha looked so helpless, how guilty he felt, the way that stranger touched her -
Even so, he'd refused to tell Tabitha about the nightmare. It hadn't been too much of a problem, since she knew what it was like to not one to discuss it, but it was clear she was worried about him. He just didn't want to start explaining why he found it so scary, and why he'd had the dream in the first place, without getting his facts straight first, which is precisely why he needed to talk to Silver.
"Alright," Silver answered tensely.
Jim walked over and stood next to his father-in-law. "Tell me why you think Abigail and Tabitha shouldn't go."
"I told ya, Jimbo," he answered, frustration already seeping into his tone. "It ain't a place respectable ladies like them need t' be."
Jim sighed, rubbing his eyes warily. "Look, I know there's stuff about your past you don't like to talk about, but you can't just tell me that something like what happened to Tabitha on Lacuna might happen again, and then not give me any details. If you expect me to tell Tabitha that she doesn't need to come, then I'm damn well going to need some information to back me up."
Silver blinked in shock at the young man's sudden tangent. "Ya alright, lad?"
"Fine." When Silver looked less than accepting of that terse answer, Jim pinched the bridge of his nose and reluctantly admitted, "I... I didn't sleep well last night. I was too worried."
The older man looked a bit regretful, finally sighing as he began to explain, "I told ya Ciaran's dangerous, an' I meant it, but... it ain't any kinda danger ya been through before, Jim." He paused, a crease forming in his brow as if he was thinking reall hard. "Vanessa spent her whole life t'ere, and even she never left that tavern o' hers, not t' mention she kept a pistol on her at all times. John only left when he didn't 'ave a choice, an' he didn't go without hidin' a weapon anywhere he could on 'im. In t'e first night I was there, I ended up shot an' nearly dead. That's me, lad. If t'e people t'ere ain't scared o' me, what d' ya t'ink t'ey are scared of?"
"But if me and Graham are going, why couldn't Tabitha?" Jim rebutted. "You know what she can handle on her own, and we're all there as well - why wouldn't she be as safe as the rest of us?"
"That's t'e t'ing, lad," Silver explained. "None of us are gonna be safe. I'm already regrettin' askin' ya t' take me - "
"You didn't exactly ask, I volunteered."
He ignored this and continued. "An' I don't know what I'd do if one o' ya got killed while we were t'ere."
"Killed?" Jim repeated, the anxiety in his chest tightening even more. "But I thought - "
"Yeah, Jim. Killed. I ain't gonna play it down fer ya. If we go, we're gonna get attacked."
"You just know that?"
"I know t'ere's a damn good chance of it, an' even more o' one if Tabby goes. See here, Jim: When we get t'ere, as long as we're outside o' t'e tavern, we're at a risk. We can make a run fer it, but t'at won't make a difference. Now, if it's me, you, Graham, and Anthony, we might get mugged, but t'at's gonna be it, an' we might could fight our way out of it. Ya throw a gal like Tabby in the mix, an' we're talkin' about a whole other kinda situation. An' ya know if Tabby's in trouble, you an' me are both gonna try t' save 'er, which puts us at a higher risk o' bein' caught off guard."
"What if Tabitha's disguised as a boy?"
"She was dressed like a boy on Lacuna - lotta good t'at did. Not t' mention t'ere are plenty o' types out t'ere t'at can tell a woman from a man jus' by smell." Jim was starting to look defeated. Silver sighed heavily and lowered his voice. "Bottom line is someone's gonna get hurt. If it's just us, t'en we'll probably make it out with a few bruises. If Tabby goes, we're - "
"Yeah, no, I got it," Jim stopped him, not wanting to hear anymore possibilities of what Tabitha might have to go through if she went.
Silver exchanged an apologetic look with him just as the sound of the door opening reached their ears.
"Hey, Silver, are you - " Tabitha began as she stepped on the porch and found the two men. "Oh. What are you two doing out here?"
They exchanged nervous glances, but Silver was the one who finally answered. "Just talkin' 'bout t'at trip to Ciaran. Whatcha need, lass?"
"Abigail just told me you convinced her not to come to Ciaran with us," she explained sadly. "Why?"
"Uh... I just don't t'ink she's up fer a trip like t'is. Too dangerous."
"Oh... Well, I guess. I mean, she doesn't have as much experience as the rest of us..." Tabitha leaned against the rail of the porch. "Still, I feel bad leaving her here alone."
"Well, Sarah - "
"You could stay with her," Jim blurted out.
She blinked in surprise at the suggestion, then laughed it off. "No, I want to come. Besides, you guys might need a doctor."
"If we did, I could handle it, lass," Silver commented, catching on to Jim's attempt. "I might not 'ave graduated from t'e academy, but I got more hands on experience t'en you do."
Tabitha looked back and forth between the two of them. Neither of them seemed inclined to look at her - Silver was smoking his pipe, his eyes fixed on the sky, and Jim was surveying the wood grain of the rail around the patio with unusual interest. Jim had been acting a bit off all day, but she'd attributed it simply to the nightmare... Now, though, she wasn't so sure. "What's the matter with you two?"
The anxious glance Silver and Jim exchanged did nothing to quell her fears. Again, Silver was the one to speak.
"Tabby... I been t'inkin' t'at it might not be such a good idea fer t'e lot o' ya t' come to Ciaran wit' me. I was tellin' Jimbo I was considerin' cancelin' the trip."
"Canceling?" she gasped. "You can't! What about Vanessa?"
"Well, I could go see 'er some other way. Hitch a ride on some ot'er voyage."
"Because I'm sure lots of ships take voyages to a place that's known to harbor pirates and thieves and cutthroats," she sarcastically reasoned. "Even if you were lucky enough to find a ship going there, you're an ex-pirate. Not many people are going to agree to let you on their ship, and even if they did, it would probably cost you a fair bit of money and involve you making stops at who knows how many other places along the way. That trip could end up taking months, and if you aren't going to let Abigail come... I mean, I'm just assuming you don't want to be away from her that long." Jim and Silver looked a bit shocked at how quickly she'd worked through all that until she shrugged and explained, "What? I've been thinking about it ever since you said it was a dangerous place to be. I don't want any of us hurt, so I tried to figure out if there was another way to do it... but I don't think there is."
Jim rubbed at his chin thoughtfully. "He could join up with another pirate crew. They'd be more likely to take a trip to Ciaran."
"No! Silver is an ex-pirate. He was lucky enough to get off scot-free - if he joins back up with a pirate crew, that's not going to do him any good. And how would he fill out paperwork that says he's going on a voyage with pirates? Not to mention I don't think Commodore Aldamae would ever agree to escort you that way."
Jim sighed heavily and turned away again.
"What is with you two?" she questioned again. "I know it's going to be dangerous, but we've handled dangerous voyages before just fine. Why would - "
"That doesn't mean we'd make it out 'just fine' this time, too," Jim mumbled.
Tabitha stared at Jim for a second. "Is this about me?" she laughed nervously, hoping that she was mistaken.
He sighed heavily, closing his eyes. "Tabitha..."
She froze when he confirmed her suspicions. "You… cannot be serious. Again? Jim - "
"It's not just him, lass. I'm worried 'bout ya too," Silver intervened.
"Why? You two do this every time we go on a voyage that might have any kind of danger. You both know what I can handle - "
"Yeah, and we know what you can't handle too," Jim interrupted.
"And you don't think I can handle this trip?"
"Silver doesn't think so, and I really, really don't want to find out the hard way that he's right."
Tabitha was speechless. It was unbelievable that they were going through this spiel again. When she finally got her senses back, she quickly began to ramble off the same ideas Jim had proposed, and was shot down each time by the same explanations Silver had given.
"So what then?" she snapped, irritated with the entire theory. "We're canceling the trip?"
"You said yourself that that isn't going to work," Jim replied.
It took a second for realization of what Jim was getting to dawn on Tabitha. "So... I'm not going then?"
Silver sighed. "Tabby..."
"Don't 'Tabby' me! You expect me to just stay here while you all go gallivanting off on an adventure of your own? You know I'm not going to do that!"
"I also know ya ain't as strong as ya t'ink, Tabitha! I know ya can usually handle yerself, but on Ciaran, ya couldn't!"
"How do you know that?"
"Because I know ya, lass! An' I know t'at planet could chew ya up and spit ya back out before ya even knew what was happenin'! It ain't a place ya need to go, Tabitha Renee, an' I'll see to it t'at ya don't, even if it means cancelin' the whole trip."
"So either I don't go, or nobody goes? Those are the two options? Silver, that isn't fair!"
"What's not fair is t'at I'm yer pap, an' I'm tryin' to take care o' ya, an' all yer doin is givin' me grief about it." Silver stormed off back toward the inn, pausing just inside the doorway and turning back to look at her again. "Ya know I wouldn't tell ya to stay if I didn't 'ave a good reason. T'e last time I told ya t' stay back was when ya went t' Lacuna, an' look what all happened t' ya t'ere. Maybe ya should just t'ink about t'at before ya start actin' so stubborn."
Tabitha ground her teeth together, her hands balling into fists at her side. "I'm going," she defiantly stated to no one in particular.
"No, you're not."
She'd almost forgot that Jim was out there with her - and that he was apparently just as against her going as Silver was - but she jerked around to face him now. "What?"
Jim took a deep breath, gathered up some nerve, and looked her in the eye. "You aren't going, Tabitha."
Tabitha stared at him, hovering somewhere between hurt and angry and confused. "You're really taking Silver's side on this?"
"Look, don't turn it into that. I don't want to say I'm taking sides."
"But you are!"
"No, I'm not!" he insisted, stepping forward to grab her hand. "I just want you to be safe."
"So... S-So keep me safe there! You always want to do that anyway - "
"Yeah, but... not this time."
"Why not?"
"Because this trip is more dangerous," he explained, starting to get exasperated. "Yeah, I know I always look out for you, but I don't want to when the risks are this high."
Tabitha's brow creased in thought, her hand slipping out of his. "So… basically, when it get's down to it, you don't actually want to protect me, you just like to pretend to play knight in shining armor."
Jim only let the hurt show on his face for a second before he turned it into a glare. "You've got to – " He shook his head in annoyed disbelief. "You can't actually think that."
"Well what am I supposed to think? We go on all these voyages where you say you're 'protecting me' even though there's no danger, and then the first time a trip with any real risk comes up, you try to keep me from going?"
"It's not like that!"
"Oh, really? Then please, tell me what it is like," she said sarcastically.
"Maybe I just don't want you to come because you're acting like - "
"Like what? What exactly am I acting like?"
"Like a child. A spoiled brat that isn't getting her way." She turned on her heal and started to walk away, but he couldn't drop it for some reason. "Look, I'm the captain, and I decide who goes – "
"Oh, I'm the one acting like a child?" she scoffed, spinning around to face him. "You're pulling the 'I'm the captain and I'm in charge' card on your own wife?"
"All I'm saying is that in the end, it's not going to matter how much you beg or plead – if I don't want you to go, then you're not going."
Tabitha pierced him with her gaze. "We're married, Jim."
"You think I don't know that?" he snapped. "Just listen to – "
"We're a team!" she argued stepping on the end of his sentence. "That's what we planned from the beginning - to take all our voyages together. You're supposed to want me there."
"Yeah? Well, maybe I would if you would stop acting like such a bitch!"
She recoiled as if she'd been physically hit, but tried to quickly mask her hurt with anger. "You are such an asshole sometimes."
Jim watched her walk away, ignoring every comment he thought to shout after her and instead silently cursing himself. What the hell was he doing? "Ugh!" he growled, kicking the railing of the porch before rushing after her.
"I'm going home," Tabitha informed anyone who happened to be in the kitchen when she stormed in.
"Oh," Sarah said, blinking in surprise at the sudden outburst. "Well, okay..."
"Is everything alright, dear?" Abigail warily questioned from her place at the stove.
"I have no idea..." Tabitha muttered under her breath as she continued on her way.
Jim followed her in now. "Tabitha - "
But Tabitha was already out of the kitchen, making her way to the front of the inn as quickly as she could.
"Tabitha… Look - " Jim tried again as they approached the front door.
"Leave me alone," she mumbled, not bothering to stop to pull on her coat. She grabbed it and began putting her arms in the sleeves as she left.
Her attempt to slam the door behind her was halted when Jim caught the edge of it and followed her out. "But I'm - "
"Why are you still talking to me?" she suddenly shouted. "If I'm such a bitch, then why don't you just leave me alone?"
Jim stopped and let her walk away. It wasn't until she was about halfway down the road that he let out a frustrated noise, kicking the pebbles on the path as he turned to head back to the Benbow. The second he had the door shut behind him, he knew all eyes were on him. Abigail, Sarah, Silver, and the Doppler's – all staring at him, waiting for someone else to speak or for him to give an explanation…
Jim pretended not to notice as he sighed and walked past all of them and back into the kitchen, refusing to say anything.
Tabitha was still awake when she heard the front door of their home open and shut again a couple of hours later. She'd been sitting up in bed, holding her diary and trying to figure out what to write, but she'd been too frustrated and confused to think of how and what and where to begin...
Within seconds, the sound of Jim's boots against the hardwood floors could be heard moving closer - past the den, through the kitchen, to the entryway that led to their room. She could sense him standing in the doorway at this point, but refused to face him just yet.
"I don't want to fight with you."
Tabitha looked up. He was leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed and gaze focused on the floor rather than her.
"But I'm also not going to let you go on this trip."
She let out a quiet scoff of a laugh. "What makes you think you get to let me do things?"
"I'm the captain." When he heard her sigh he glanced up to see her shaking her head as if that response was completely ridiculous. "Look, I'd rather work this out with you, but… if it get's down to it, I'll just refuse to let you come."
"Jim, would you just… listen to yourself?" she begged, trying to stay calm. "Are you honestly this intent on making me stay here?"
Jim sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "You're making it sound like I don't want you there."
"Because you don't!"
"No, I'm just trying to keep you safe," he explained, walking over and taking a seat in front of her on the bed. "I would love to have you there with me, but not if it puts you in any danger."
"But it's – I mean…" She sighed and looked away again. "If the trip is actually that dangerous, then I don't want you to go either."
Jim was silent for a moment. "Then how do you expect Silver to check on Vanessa?"
"I… I don't know," she mumbled dejectedly. "Couldn't… Couldn't Silver just take our ship and go?"
"Silver can't run the whole ship by himself."
"Well, him and Commodore Aldamae – "
"Tabitha, you know that ship absolutely has to have at least four people to maintain it constantly, and that puts one person doing double duty, and everyone working long hours and getting very little sleep."
"So… well, there's another reason to let me go then!" she pointed out. "If I go, there'll be five. Sure, it'll be a skeleton crew, but no one will have to work two jobs and – "
"No. I'd rather lose sleep for a few weeks than put your life in danger," he said finitely. She looked like she wanted to argue, but she couldn't figure out how… so Jim continued, attempting to end this all now. "Look, there isn't another way. You already knew that. So are you going to let me take Silver to check up on Vanessa, or are you going to let her stay there and just leave him hoping that she's okay?"
Tabitha's mouth fell open as she stared at him, clearly upset about the way he was handling this. "Why are you trying to make me out as the bad guy here?"
"I'm not!" Jim insisted. "It's just that you're the one going against what everyone else wants."
"Okay, one, 'everyone else' is only you and Silver, and two, I don't think it's such an outrageous quest to want to do my job and be with my husband."
Jim watched her stand up and walk a few feet away, then stood to his feet as well. "Yeah? Well I don't think it's so outrageous for your dad and your husband to try to keep you safe. This isn't like the voyages we normally take."
"I know that!" Tabitha walked back towards him. "That's exactly the reason I don't want to be stuck here worrying about you the whole time."
He sighed, rubbing at his eyes in frustration. "Nothing's going to happen to me. I'll be fine as long as you're not there."
"Oh, right," she scoffed. "I forgot you suddenly become invincible whenever I'm not around."
Jim rolled his eyes and groaned. "For the love of God, Tabitha, why are you acting like this?"
"Like what, Jim? Confused? Upset?" she yelled. "Gee, I have no idea why I would feel like that!"
"Just stop it," he said in more annoyance than anger.
"No! I'm not going to stop it! It isn't fair! It isn't fair for you to make me stay home and worry about you just so you can have peace of mind! If you're in danger, then I want to be there to protect you." Jim shot her a skeptical look that made her stop for a second. "What?"
"You want to protect me?" The chuckle that left him was condescending and amused, as if he was arguing with a child. "That doesn't make any sense."
Tabitha's eyes narrowed into a glare of pure disdain. "Why not?"
"Because if you're there, then the person in the most danger would be you. I'd have to protect you."
"Damn it, Jim! Stop doing that! It's not your job to - "
"Don't," he fiercely stopped her once again, taking a step closer so he could tower over her. "Don't say that it's not my job. Don't tell me that again. You know I would die to keep you safe - stop trying to act like that's somehow a bad thing."
"It is a bad thing when you take it too far!"
"I'm not taking it too far! What part of what Silver told us did you not understand? Do you get what would most likely happen to you if we were attacked on Ciaran? It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about something like that happening to you!"
"And do you not understand that the same things could happen to you?" she yelled right back. "You could end up dead just as easily as me! That's why I want to come! That way, we can protect each other, and we'll be with each other if – stars forbid - anything goes wrong!"
Jim quickly ran his hand through his hair. "But I don't want to have to do that."
"Do what?"
"I don't want to have to try to protect you! Not in a place like that!"
She rubbed her temples. "You need to make up your mind. If you don't want to protect me – "
"I do! That's what I'm trying to do!" Tabitha raised her eyebrows, pointing out that he'd just completely contradicted himself in a few short seconds. He growled under his breath and closed his eyes. "I want to protect you by making you stay here where you're safe, not by putting you in danger and then trying to save you."
"You want to protect me by forcing me to do something I don't want to do," she snippily corrected.
Jim scoffed. "Yeah. I'd rather you be pissed off and alive than content and dead, though stars knows why if this is the kind of shit I'll have to deal with."
Tabitha didn't know what to say; it wasn't like Jim to act like this, and she didn't know what it meant. He walked to the other side of the room and began rummaging through the doors like he was looking for something, but she suspected it was more because he just didn't want to have to look her in the eye. "Why are you being so insensitive?"
When he glanced at her again, he would have sworn she looked more sad than angry, but it was only for a flash of a second, and then she was back to looking like she might hit him.
"Do you not understand that this all works in reverse?" she asked quietly. "Do you not understand that I don't want to have to worry about you for weeks? That I don't want you to die? That I'm just as scared for you as you are for me?"
Jim slammed the drawer shut. "Would you stop trying to act like it's the same thing? It's not the same, Tabitha!"
"Why is it not?"
"Because you're a girl! The planet is dangerous to you because you're a girl!"
Tabitha scoffed, rolling her eyes at the ceiling. "You know what? You're starting to sound the same way you did when we first met, back on Treasure Planet."
"Yeah, and was it just my imagination, or did you end up captured by pirates when you tried to help?" he taunted her. "In fact, has there ever been a time where you tried to help, and didn't end up in trouble one way or another? Thing's will be a hell of a lot easier on everyone if you're not there."
Tabitha simply stared at him. After a stunned moment, she started to open her mouth to snap something back, then settled on biting her lip instead, turning her gaze to the floor. A few seconds of silence made the air between then even more tense, and suddenly she left the room.
Jim listened to her footsteps, playing back what he'd just said… and he groaned to himself. That had been to harsh. Starting to rub the back of his neck, he sighed his disappointment in himself and stepped around to follow her. "Tabitha – "
"I am not that kind of girl, Jim," she interrupted, turning to face him when she heard him enter the kitchen. She stood beside the counter, shaking her head in… disbelief or annoyance or… who really knew. "I have never been that kind of girl, and you know it. I will not sit home and be a good little housewife and let you go off on a potentially dangerous voyage. I am never going to be that kind of girl."
"Really? Because last I checked our plan for after we have kids was that we would take turns going on voyages so someone can always stay with – "
Tabitha closed her eyes, fighting the urge to burst into tears like her body was threatening to. "Really, Jim? Really? Kids? You think now is a good time to bring up kids? God, it's like you're trying to make things worse!"
Jim had been asking himself the same questions, and he didn't have an answer, so he tried to turn the conversation around. "I'm trying to make a point."
"Well… it's a stupid point. Those are completely different circumstances. Right now, while it's just us, you cannot expect me to be that kind of girl."
"No, because you're apparently the kind of girl that would do something as stupid and selfish as risking everyone's life just to get her way," he said in a sarcastically cheerful way.
"Selfish? I'm the one being selfish?" She marched back over to him, putting her hands on his chest and pushing him back a couple of steps. "You're the one who doesn't give a damn about how much his wife will have to worry if he leaves. No, just as long as he has the peace of mind knowing she's safe – " Another small push. " - Just as long as he doesn't have to actually protect her and put himself at risk – "
"You – " A million different things he could have said hit him all at once. As her hands moved to his chest to push him once again, he grabbed her wrists to stop her. Then, for the first time in his life, Jim realized he didn't trust himself not to hurt her – not as if he thought he might do something on purpose, but at the moment, he didn't trust himself not to even hold her too tightly. Panicked and still infuriated and now more upset than ever, he threw her hands away and moved around the counter to put some distance between them.
"I had no idea it was such a chore for you."
He turned back around to look at her. Now that she was standing closer to the windows, the light from the dim stars revealed just enough of her face to show that she was crying. Grinding his teeth together and trying to resist the urge to yell and make things worse, he managed to tensely say, "You know, if you're going to be so damn ungrateful about it, maybe I should just stop looking out for you altogether."
"It's not like I ever asked you to in the first place!" she shouted, voice squeaky and rough now that she was crying. "I can take care of myself!"
"You know what? Fine. Go ahead!" he granted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Maybe you'll get hurt on Ciaran and you'll see that you really do need me."
"No." She quickly wiped her sleeve across her face to erase any tear tracks, then shook her head. "No, I won't... because I don't need you, Jim."
The words hovered in the room, echoing through their minds in the silence. Jim felt like he'd forgotten how to breathe… He waited for Tabitha to realize what she'd said, to take it back… but it never happened. Nothing, not even so much as a flicker of remorse passed over her features. She was really serious. Steeling himself, he met her gaze, hoping his façade would hold. He didn't say a word, but the expression on his face spoke volumes. Deciding she didn't want to break down completely in front of him, she ran back to the bedroom, sinking down against the door as soon as she'd shut it behind her. Seconds later, she heard the front door slam shut, and the sob she'd been holding back tore through her, her hand flying to cover her mouth as she leaned her face into her hands and started to cry.
Even though he was alone outside, Jim hastily wiped his eyes on his jacket and tried to settle down, like he was trying to hide how upset he was from himself. There wasn't much to do in the middle of the night, which he realized within seconds of stepping out into the frigid night air. He could go to the inn, but he wasn't sure he wanted to risk waking someone up and having them question what he was doing up there, and where Tabitha was, and what was wrong with him…
Flying a solar surfer at night was probably a good way to get killed, but at the moment, Jim didn't care. It was freedom and an escape and everything he'd used it for back when he was fifteen.
Back before he met Tabitha, something reminded him.
He quickly shook the thought from his head – after all, she didn't need him, right? Cursing under his breath, he wandered around to the back of their house to the small shed where his solar surfer and various other odds and ends were kept. It was only then that he realized his solar surfer wasn't charged; he hadn't ridden it in months, so he'd had no reason to charge it. He flicked the solar lamp and spread out the sail of it anyway. It would probably be morning before it charged, but at least then it'd be ready to go if they were still fighting tomorrow.
If they were still fighting tomorrow.
Jim didn't want to think about it. Of course he and Tabitha fought, but it was always over stupid things, and they were always over it by the end of the day, or at least over it enough that they were able to say "I love you" and fall asleep in the same bed. "Never go to bed angry." It had been some of the advice Silver had given him before he'd gotten married, and it had stuck with him. Maybe it was because he could still vividly remember nights as a child, listening to his parents fight after they thought he was asleep, or maybe it was because he couldn't stand the idea of sleeping on the couch without Tabitha, but he always made sure to at least apologize before they fell asleep. Sometimes they didn't reach a full compromise until the next day, but at least they wouldn't be fighting. So far, not going to bed angry had been working well.
But he and Tabitha had never had a fight like this. They'd gone at each other with all the bitterness of two people that hated each other. How many times had he flat out insulted her? Hadn't he called her a bitch at one point? He'd never called Tabitha a negative name – never – so what the hell had gotten into him tonight, and how in the stars was he going to figure out a compromise with her?
Tabitha had never liked crying, but she absolutely despised it when Jim wasn't around, like he wasn't now. Knowing that it was her fault only made her sob harder, which only made her want him more, which reminded her that she was the reason he wasn't here – it was a horrible, vicious circle, and it was only after a couple of hours of crying into her folded arms on the floor of the bedroom that she finally had no more tears and was forced to stop.
She hated herself. She completely and totally hated herself. What was the matter with her? Why had she acted so horrible to him? She still stuck behind her point, and she still wanted to go… but now no option seemed to be a good one. Every option had risks for their life and their relationship and…
Why had she said she didn't need him? Why would she say that? Remembering the way he'd looked at her after the words had left her mouth sent a sharp stab of remorse straight through her; she could only imagine how it must have hurt him. She hadn't meant it. She hadn't at all. She hadn't even meant to get so mad… but he'd just been so infuriating.
Maybe it was just an off night for both of them?
Off night or not, Tabitha knew she wasn't going to sleep. She wasn't tired, and she didn't want to if Jim still wasn't home… and it wasn't likely that she'd sleep very well without him anyway. She made a cup of coffee and tried to figure out what the hell her problem was.
When Jim entered the kitchen around sunrise, he was more than a little surprised to see Tabitha awake and standing at the kitchen counter, just as she seemed to be a bit startled by his sudden appearance as well. They stared at each other for a minute, letting their hearts and minds fight the battle of whether they felt more guilty or more bitter.
"Coffee?" Tabitha finally questioned.
Jim shrugged. "Sure."
She poured him a mug full and slid it across the counter to him. He made a small grunt that she assumed was supposed to be a thank you… and then they were back to a tense silence, both drinking their coffee and refusing to face each other.
"Where were you?" Tabitha blurted out when curiosity and concern finally got the best of her.
Jim blinked in surprise; that certainly wasn't where he'd expected a conversation between them to start. "I was going to go solar surfing, but – "
"In the middle of the night?" She questioned worriedly, setting her cup down on the counter a bit harder than she usually would have. "Do you have a death wish?"
He rolled his eyes. "I would have been fine."
"You always think that," she mumbled, turning away from him.
"And I always am."
"That doesn't mean you always will be."
Jim had to take a deep breath to remind himself not to yell. "So let me get this straight," he began, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and pointer finger. "Just because I've been fine before doesn't mean I always will be - you're allowed to use that logic when it comes to me solar surfing, but I'm not allowed to when discussing whether you can come to Ciaran or not?"
Tabitha placed her cup down in the sink a lot harder than was necessary. "Going to Ciaran would be so that I can be with you, do my job, help protect the rest of the people on the voyage, and maybe even help Vanessa out. Riding your solar surfer at night is stupid and reckless and nothing more than a good way to get yourself killed."
"And why would you care if I did if you don't need me anyway?"
Jim quickly downed the last half of his coffee, not caring that it burned his tongue and throat. He walked around the counter and stared at her. She'd been crying. He knew her eyes had watered up a bit the night before, but now they were puffy and red… and now that he thought about it, she probably hadn't gotten any sleep either. This was obviously not the best time for them to try to talk, and yet there he was, making snide comments and hurting her even more.
That last comment had struck a nerve in Tabitha, and her eyes somehow found a few more tears. "Jim, I – " It wasn't until she looked up and noticed him staring at her, observing her, that she suddenly realized how obvious it must be that she'd been crying earlier. And then suddenly, she felt sick to her stomach, almost uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze; all she wanted was to get as far away from him as she could right now, so that he wouldn't know she was crying, so that they didn't have to talk. "Never mind, forget it," she mumbled, wincing when her voice squeaked.
Jim just watched her leave… Why didn't he try to stop her? He stared at the swinging kitchen door until it stopped. Why hadn't he been more apologetic to begin with? The regret and anger coursing through him made him want to throw up, and as he tensed up, he suddenly remembered the mug he still had in his hand. He got a strange sense of satisfaction tainted with idiocy at the sound of it breaking against the wall.
"Hey," Graham cheerily greeted Tabitha when she entered the kitchen.
"Hey," she mumbled as she gathered her hair up into a ponytail. "What needs to be done?"
"You're playing waitress today. There's only one family down here right now, so no rush."
"Thanks."
Graham arched an eyebrow, watching her as she immediately set to work filling drinks. "Where's Jim?"
"I don't know," she reluctantly answered.
"Is he coming up today?"
She set the drinks on the tray. "I don't know."
"What's my name?"
The tray was already balanced on her hand, and she was halfway out the kitchen door – she easily could have pretended not to have heard him… but she didn't. She stopped, sighging and looking back at him with a half smile. "Graham Marlow Emerson the Third."
He made a disgusted face. "Shit, I forgot you know my whole name. Graham would have been fine – I just wanted to see if you were giving the same 'I don't know' answer for everything." After she rolled her eyes, he dropped his smirk. "Hey, seriously - do you know where he is? Or should I just assume that I'm doing all the cooking?"
Tabitha bit her lip. "I-I guess he's still at home… but I have no idea if he's coming up."
Graham wasn't the best at picking up emotions, but it wasn't hard to guess that Tabitha had been crying recently from the way her eyes were pink and puffy, and the bags under her eyes suggested she hadn't slept well either. He turned off the stove and walked over to her. "Hey… you alright?"
Despite herself, she smiled at his friendly concern. "I'm fine, thanks."
"What did Jim do to you?" he asked, playing up his role a bit. "Did he hurt you? Do you want me to go kick his ass? 'Cause I'll do it. I'll – "
"I'm sure you would," she laughed.
He smiled at the fact that he'd at least got her to smile, but kept his seriousness. "This does have something to do with him, doesn't it?"
"Wh-Why do you think that?" Tabitha asked curiously.
"Well, he's not up here, and if you were upset for any other reason, he'd be comforting you. Just guessed that you guys had a fight or something," he shrugged. When she placed the drinks back down on the counter again and sighed, he frowned. "So it was a fight, huh?"
"He doesn't want me to go to Ciaran," she blurted out.
"What? Why?"
"Because he thinks it's too dangerous, and – " She shook her head, letting out an exhausted sigh. "I don't know. I know he's trying to protect me, but… I-I want to be able to protect him too, and it just doesn't seem fair to make me stay here – "
"No, it doesn't," Graham agreed, a thick crease in his brow now. "Look, it's probably not my place, but I'm going to go talk to him… unless you have some sort of objection?" When she shook her head, he smiled again. "Alright, I'll be back up soon. Let me go try to talk some sense into him – wish me luck."
She got out a light-hearted laugh, but after he was gone, she was back to feeling slightly sick. Forcing down the nervous churning in her stomach, she picked up the tray once again and decided to focus all her energy on waitressing, casting all thoughts of Jim and Ciaran from her head until she could think through them clearly.
Breakfast came and went… and Graham still hadn't brought Jim back. She and Sarah had managed to serve everyone pretty efficiently, and Silver could easily handle all the cooking by himself while Abigail did dishes, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Tabitha started out mostly curious about what might be taking so long… but when a lunch rush of twice as many people as they'd served at breakfast came and went and the boys still hadn't come back, her promise to focus only on food and dishes and customers was completely gone, and she was spending debating whether to be angry or worried.
"Tabitha, I need your help out here as soon as possible," Sarah called out, peering through the kitchen door. "A group of about forty men just showed up for dinner."
"Forty?" Tabitha repeated in shock. "Damn…"
"Well, at least yer pretty," Silver chuckled. "Jus' smile at 'em an' maybe t'ey'll tip ya pretty well."
"Yeah, thanks," she mumbled as she walked out, grabbing a notepad and pencil and picking one of the newly seated tables at random to get their order. "Hello. Welcome to the Benbow Inn of Montressor. What can I get you to drink?" She quickly scribbled down the five men's orders and smiled as convincingly as she could. "Alright, I'll bring those right out. My name's Tabitha. Just shout if you need anything."
She only managed to take about four steps before she heard her name.
"Tabitha!"
She turned back around, raising her eyebrows curiously at the man who'd called her. "Yes?"
The man smirked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "Tabitha Alexander."
Tabitha blanched, debating whether to be concerned or just surprised. "Do… D-Do I know you?"
"I should say so," he chuckled. "I guess it's been about ten years, but I think you'd remember me of all people."
The man appeared to be about thirty, with a typical tall, dark, and handsome look – black hair, tanned skin, a coy smile he never seemed to lose. He was the kind of men girl's fell for… the kind of man she'd fallen for…
"Henry?" she gasped.
"I knew you'd get it sooner or later," he laughed as he walked over and pulled her into an unexpected hug. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, uh…" She awkwardly returned the sudden embrace, trying not to seem too caught off guard. "I-I work here. What are you doing here?"
"Spacing, of course! Moved up to captain after my father passed."
"Oh, I-I'm sorry to hear about your dad…"
He shrugged it off and smiled. "It was several years ago. I'd rather not dwell on it. Tell me, how have you been? What are you – "
"Tabby!" Silver shouted, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Ya can socialize wit' yer fans later, lass. Ya know I need yer help now."
"Oh, r-right, coming!" She turned back to Henry. "Um… m-maybe we'll talk later?"
"Looking forward to it, love," he winked.
Tabitha raced back to the kitchen. "H-Henry!" was all she managed to say, but Silver nodded.
"Aye, I heard – Cap'n Henry Albright." He pushed a few glasses towards Tabitha. "Jus' get t'e drinks out to 'em, lass. We'll figure out what t' do about him later."
Tabitha nodded, grabbing as many cups as she could carry and heading back to the dining room. Silver shook his head and sighed. "Of all t'e days fer Jimbo t' miss work…"
"Wow."
Jim really hadn't expected much else from Graham by the time he'd finished explaining the whole fight to him. "Yeah."
Graham shook his head in disbelief. "You two really went at it."
Jim sighed regretfully. "Yeah."
"Maybe… I mean, hell, you guys have been spending all your time together recently. A fight was probably inevitable."
"I guess…"
They were both silent for a few minutes, sitting on the edge of one of the cliffs and staring out at the bland horizon. Finally, Graham took a deep breath. "Well, you know what this means." Jim looked at him curiously and Graham smirked. "Make-up sex." Jim shot him a look that made it clear he wasn't amused. "Well, I don't know what else you expect me to say! The sex part is the part I know about," Graham shrugged, with just the faintest hint of a smug smile. "Anything outside of that – you're talking to the wrong guy."
"But you know me, and you know Tabitha. Don't you at least have an opinion on who's right?" Jim asked.
"No way, man," Graham shook his head, holding up a finger to stop Jim. "I am not about to choose sides here, not with you and Tabitha."
"I'm not asking you to choose sides, I just want to know what you think."
Graham sighed, scuffing his boot against the hard dirt. "Alright, to be completely honest… I think you should let her go." Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Wait, let me tell you why. I know it will be more dangerous if Tabitha goes… but knowing the two of you - the way you are about each other is just…" He laughed in disbelief. "You don't find that every day. And I don't think it's fair to make someone you care about that much sit home alone and worry about you for a month or more just to give yourself some peace of mind. That seems…"
"Selfish," Jim finished for him. "God, I really have been acting like an asshole."
"Well, just remember you were the one who just said that – not me," Graham teased. "But I think maybe she's right. Maybe it would be best if you two were together, in case anything does happen to one of you."
The idea that maybe this was true was giving Jim a migraine. Her point of view really did make a lot of sense… at least for her; if something happened to him, she'd be at his side to take care of him… but if the tables were turned, if something happened to her and he had to go through what he went through back on Lacuna… No. He just couldn't do it again, especially not after that dream. Even the memory of it sent a sick feeling of dread through his chest.
His mind turned to worst case scenarios before he could stop it. If something were to happen to him, Tabitha would be fine. He knew that. He hated to say it, but she'd lost people before, and she'd always been okay. She'd still have Silver and Abigail, and Sarah and the commodore, as well as Graham and the rest of their friends… Yeah, she'd be fine. Distraught, heartbroken, yes… but she'd be fine in the end. If he were to lose her though… Jim had no idea how he'd be able to live without her. He knew that if it happened, he'd blame himself for the rest of his life. He felt like it was his job to protect her, and if he failed at that, and she died… There was no way he'd ever recover, ever move on, ever feel like he'd redeemed himself.
Jim took a deep breath, realizing his thoughts, the lack of sleep, and his rampant emotions were pushing him way too close to tears for his comfort. "We should probably head back."
Graham raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"
"Yeah, we've been out here all day," Jim said, glancing at the now setting sun.
"Yeah, we - Shit…" Graham suddenly groaned. "She's going to kill me. You. Us."
"What? Who? Why?"
"Tabitha. I told her I'd be right back when I left the Benbow, like… twelve hours ago."
Jim shot him a glare that silently asked 'are you kidding me?' before sighing and kick starting his solar surfer. "Great."
Graham stepped onto the other board. "Sorry. I'll tell her it was my fault."
"Whatever. Let's just get back before anything else goes wrong."
Tabitha was fuming by the time dinner was over and she still hadn't seen Jim. Who did he think he was? He didn't get to ditch off on the work at the inn just because they had a fight. She was here, wasn't she? Where the hell had Graham gotten off to? They'd been gone the entire day when they knew they should be up here. And what were they doing instead anyway? There wasn't anything else to do. They had to -
"What did those dishes ever do to you?"
Tabitha jumped, dropping the bowl she'd been scrubbing her frustrations out on.
Henry laughed at her reaction. "Still clumsy, I see." She stared at him in shock until he raised his eyebrows expectantly. "Are you going to clean that up?"
Tabitha blinked and looked down at the shattered bowl. "Damn," she muttered under her breath as she rushed over to the pantry to grab the broom and dustpan. "Sorry about that. You startled me."
"Don't apologize to me," he chuckled. "That's not my bowl, and not my paycheck it will be coming out of."
"I don't exactly get a paycheck for working here. It's just something Jim and I do when we're not on voyages."
Henry arched an eyebrow. "Jim?"
Tabitha glanced between him and the broken bowl. "My husband."
He blinked, letting out a shocked laugh. "You're married now? Stars above, how time flies… Why didn't you correct me when I called you by your maiden name earlier?"
"Oh…" She brushed the broken dish into the dustpan and shrugged. "I guess I just didn't think about it. My new name is Hawkins."
"Tabitha Hawkins," he repeated thoughtfully. "Married to Jim Hawkins... Hold on - the same Jim Hawkins who - ?"
"Discovered Flint's Trove? Yes, the same. That's actually the voyage we met on."
"Ah, I see… I suppose that makes sense; you were always Silver's girl, and he was on that voyage of course. I'd simply assumed that since I hadn't heard about you specifically, you'd been off doing your own thing by then."
"No, I just… I mean, the only people you really hear about are Captain Amelia because she was the captain, Silver because he was in charge of the mutiny, and Jim because he was the one who found the map. And figured out how to open it. And saved the crew…"
Henry laughed, albeit a bit awkwardly. "Sounds like you found… quite a man there."
Tabitha tried to stay cheery despite all this talk of the one person she did not want to be thinking about. "Yeah... But, um, anyway, that's what I'm doing here. Jim's mom owns the inn, and we help her out when we're not on voyages."
"Ah! I see…" He gave her silhouette a once over as she turned to throw the broken dish away, but quickly met her gaze again when she turned back around. "I was wondering if your love of the stars had disappeared. I'm glad to hear it hasn't." She gave him a small, vague smile and he grinned right back, walking over to the sink and rolling up his sleeves. "So where is this famous Jim Hawkins I keep hearing about?"
Her shoulders fell, but she laughed mirthlessly in an attempt to keep the conversation light. "I wish I knew… And you don't have to help me do the dishes. I've got it. Years of experience as a cabin girl, remember?"
"Wish you knew?" he repeated skeptically. "Tabitha, I don't know firsthand, but I think usually married couples keep track of one another… And I want to help you. It's not as if I've got much else to do here."
"Well… thanks, I guess. Um… yeah, well... we do usually – keep track of each other, I mean. Usually he's up here with me, but..." she sighed. "He's not today."
"Lover's quarrel?"
Tabitha froze with a wet plate in her hand. "What… How… Wh-Why would you - ?"
"It's fairly obvious," he said with a kind smile, taking the plate from her and drying it off. "He's not here, and I learned the hard way what you look like when you're upset."
She started slightly; she hadn't realized she'd been so readable – at least not to someone she hadn't seen in so long. Then, before she could stop herself, her eyes were tearing up. "Damn it," she laughed, pressing her palms to her eyes. "Sorry, I just..."
With her hands covering her eyes, she hadn't noticed Henry reaching out for her, but suddenly she was enveloped in his hug. She tensed, unsure of what she thought about this (especially given their… odd history)… but he seemed to just be hugging her – the same way Graham or someone would do – just as a friend. She relaxed, letting out an awkward laugh. "I can't believe I'm crying over something so ridiculous in the arms of someone I haven't seen in almost ten years."
The vibrations of his laugh echoed through his chest as he pulled her in tighter. "It's more than alright, I assure you, and I don't believe this is something ridiculous. You had a fight – you have every right to be upset now."
This whole exchange was weird to her… but she didn't see any reason to object since he was just being friendly. Either she was more exhausted than she realized, or more time went by faster than she thought because suddenly she realized she was dozing in and out of sleep as her head rested against his shoulder and his hand stroked slow, peaceful motions across her back… She probably never would have known someone else had entered the kitchen if they hadn't spoken up.
"Uh… hey there?"
Tabitha pulled away to see Graham and Jim standing in the doorway. Graham was glancing back and forth at everyone else while Jim was simply glaring. "Hey yourself," she snapped, pulling away from Henry and walking over towards them. "Where were you all day?"
Graham held up his hands in surrender. "We went solar surfing because Jim wanted to clear his head. I forgot I'd told you we'd be right back. Sorry, it was all my fault."
She sighed heavily, but accepted this. "Just go see if Sarah needs any help with anything else, and you owe me big."
"Fair enough," Graham smiled, giving one last nervous glance to Jim before leaving the room.
Tabitha turned to look at Jim, who was glaring daggers at Henry. "Well?" she questioned impatiently.
"Who the hell are you?" Jim blurted out.
Tabitha's eyes widened, her face flushing in humiliation. "Jim!"
"It's alright, Tabitha," Henry said, holding up a hand to assure her. "My name is Henry, Henry Albright." He held out his hand, but all Jim did was glare at it, then at him again, so Henry awkwardly dropped it back to his side. "Ah… I was just talking with an old friend."
"Unless you're back here working off a tab you couldn't pay, then get out," Jim demanded.
Henry gave a cordial nod. "My apologies." He turned to Tabitha and smiled. "I hope to speak with you again soon, perhaps under better circumstances."
Tabitha nodded, giving him an apologetic smile. Barely waiting until Henry was out the door, she turned on Jim. "What the hell was that about?"
"Who the hell was that?" he mocked.
"Maybe you'd know if you'd decided to show up today," she snipped, marching past him and into the dining room to gather up more dirty dishes. It was only a second before she heard the door swing again and knew Jim had followed her.
"Is this the same Henry that tried to get you in bed when you were thirteen?" he accused.
Tabitha blanched, sparing an apologetic glance at the few stray guests still left loitering around before snapping around (thankful that she didn't see Henry amongst them) and roughly pushing Jim back into the kitchen. "Yes, actually, it is, and if you'd care to remember the whole story, you'd remember that he didn't know I was thirteen."
"Oh, right," Jim snorted, crossing his arms. "And does he not know that you're married now?"
"Of course he does!"
"Then what was that scene I walked in on?"
She stared at him like he'd completely lost his mind. "It's called a hug. It doesn't mean I plan to crawl under the sheets with him."
"Good to know, but I was worried about whatever he's planning. I don't want him getting any ideas about you."
"Even if he does, it won't matter, because they're never going to happen," she reasoned, attempting to go back to the dishes before a loud scoff from Jim stopped her in her tracks. "What? Do you not trust me?"
"Yeah, I do, but that's not the point! The point is that whether they happen or not, I don't want him thinking them about my wife, so don't lead him on."
Tabitha's jaw dropped in indignation. "It was just a hug!"
"Whatever," he mumbled as he started to leave the room.
"Why are you being so controlling?" she shouted after him.
He stopped, and looked over his shoulder at her. "Controlling?"
"Yes, controlling! Trying to keep me from going on that trip, trying to keep Henry from thinking about me – "
"Because I love you, Tabitha," he countered, sounding more upset than annoyed now.
She stared him down. "If you love me, you should trust me."
"I do trust you! I'm trying to – " The glare she was giving him convinced him she wasn't buying it. He tightened his jaw and got to the point. "Look, I didn't like the way he was holding you, okay? He looked like he was enjoying it way too much." That smug smile Henry had been wearing might have escaped Tabitha's sights, but Jim had seen it plain as day; it was a smile guys only wore when they got exactly what they wanted.
"Yeah, well, maybe if you'd bothered to show up today, he wouldn't have been the one holding me." She threw her apron at him, pushing past him to leave the kitchen.
That hit Jim – hard. He absentmindedly fingered the fabric of the apron, remaining frozen just inside the doorway. How was he ever going to be able to fix this? He'd meant to come back and try to work through this with her, but that plan had quickly changed when she found another man holding her. That was his job. That had always been his job. If it had been Silver comforting her, or even Graham, he would have been fine, but it was Henry of all people. A guy she hadn't seen in… what? Eight years? Jim didn't even think they'd ended on good terms – hadn't he just been trying to seduce her the last time? What in hell gave him the right to comfort her, to hold her?
The fact that she was more comfortable with him than she was with her own husband twisted Jim's stomach into knots of fear and concern, and made him all the more aware that he had no idea how to fix things between himself and Tabitha.
"We should talk."
Tabitha had sprung the topic on him the moment Jim opened the door to their home. He hesitated before stepping the rest of the way in, slowly closing the door behind him. "Yeah," he agreed. "We should."
Tabitha bit her lip, unsure of where to start.
"So are you and Henry friends now?" Jim asked cautiously.
"I guess so," she shrugged. "I mean, we haven't seen each other since I was thirteen, and I know he was a womanizer back then so I'm assuming he's the same now… but he was always pretty nice to me – even after he found out he wasn't going to get me in bed with him," she added for Jim's disbelieving look. "A-And surely he wouldn't try to pick me up now that I'm married."
Jim scoffed. "Yeah, I'm not so sure about that."
"And even if he did," Tabitha began impatiently. "It's not like I would agree to anything."
"I know that, Tabitha," Jim groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You know, just… forget it. Let's just drop it, okay?"
"Are… Are you sure you want to?"
"Well, I don't want to keep arguing about this stuff that's totally pointless."
"It's not pointless!" she rebutted. "I'm upset, and I know that you're mad. We… We obviously need to work on something."
Jim just barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. "Fine. Why are you upset? Besides the fact I'm not letting you go on the voyage."
"You can't – " Tabitha stopped herself from arguing that Jim didn't get to 'let' her do things and starting that whole argument up again. "Do you honestly not know?" Jim stared blankly at her. "You weren't there," she explained, obviously annoyed that Jim hadn't been able to figure that out on his own. "You just disappeared for a whole day. I sent Graham after you, and then he didn't come back either. There were forty people in Henry's crew, plus the usual rush, and we had to handle it all without you."
"That's why you're mad?"
Tabitha tightened her fists at the undertone of ridicule in his voice. "Yes, Jim. That's why I'm mad. That combined with how you think you're going to keep me from Ciaran, and the way you acted like such a jerk to Henry for no reason - that is exactly why I'm mad. You aren't fifteen anymore! You don't get to run away every time you have a problem."
There were about five different points he wanted to argue there, but he chose the main one that was at hand. "I wasn't running away! I was just trying to cool off. Graham came with me so I could talk to him."
"That doesn't make it okay that you skipped out on work – "
"It's not like that's a real job or something!"
"That's your excuse? It's not a real job?" She stared him down until he finally turned his eyes away. "Did it ever cross your mind that I might be worried about you?"
"Worried?"
"Graham went to come get you, and then I didn't see either of you for the entire day - "
"What did you think happened to us?" he inquired, trying not to sound as aggravated as he was. "Look, I'm sorry you guys got overwhelmed at the inn today. I'll help out more tomorrow. I just needed to think. I was trying not to make this fight any worse than it already was."
"Well, great job on that," she muttered under her breath.
Jim's glared at her, gesturing to himself. "So this is all my fault now? It's not as if you're helping!"
"What the hell do you think I'm doing right now?" she furiously inquired. "You think I wanted to listen to you yell at me some more? I'm trying to end this!"
"Yeah, well excuse me for not being able to tell between all the shouting and snide remarks."
"You are just – " Tabitha shook her head in disgust and stopped herself. "Just forget it."
As she stormed into the kitchen, Jim immediately followed her. "Forget what?"
"I'm trying to talk this out, but all you seem to be able to do is yell at me and make smart-ass comments," she answered over her shoulder.
"Excuse me? That's exactly what you're doing!"
"Because I'm frustrated and you won't listen to me!" she shouted, turning to face him once again.
"Well how do you think I feel?" She crossed her arms and stared him down, letting him know that, at the moment, she didn't give a damn about how he felt. He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. "If you want to work this out, then we have to do it together, and that means you can't just storm into another room in the middle of our conversation."
"This is not a conversation, Jim! This is a fight. It's not getting us anywhere, and you're making everything worse!"
"Well maybe we'd be able to have a conversation if you would stop yelling at me for just a minute," he snapped.
"You're the one yelling!"
"Yeah, now I am, because you're pissing me off!"
"I'm pissing you off?" she bitterly mocked. "I haven't done a damned thing to you! You were the one who didn't want me to go on this trip. You were the one who skipped out today. You were the one who overreacted about Henry – "
"It's not an overreaction when I see my wife flirting with another man!"
"Flirting? Flirting? You – " Biting her lip to hold back all the insults she had at the ready, she turned on her heel and stormed into the bedroom. "I'll show you flirting."
Jim just barely heard that mumbled comment, but he did, and it took him to a whole new level of pissed off. Grinding his teeth, he followed after her. "Stop walking away from me!" Still she ignored him. "You can't be serious! Are you really going to try to flirt with him to make me jealous? Do you like us fighting? Are you enjoying this or something? And what the hell are you doing?" he added as he watched her unmake the bed.
"Making room for Henry," she quipped simply to get a rise out of him.
Tensing his jaw, he stormed over to her, grabbing her arm to stop her from unfolding the sheets anymore. "That is not funny, Tabitha. Stop joking about that!"
"Let go of me!" she shouted, yanking away from his grasp. "Don't you dare touch me! I don't want you to touch me, or look at me, o-or be anywhere near me!"
A bit of shock seeped into Jim's anger when she grabbed his pillow and shoved into his arms. "Wha - ?"
"Obviously, that little vacation you took today didn't change a thing and you still need to cool off."
"Look who's talking!" he shot back.
"And comments like that are exactly the reason I don't want to be anywhere near you while you're acting like this."
Jim's jaw dropped as he caught what she was trying to tell him. "Are you serious?"
"What?" She crossed her arms adamantly. "You're planning to spend over a month in space without me, right? Consider this practice."
In the silence that followed him stalking out of the room and slamming the door behind him, it took Tabitha less than three seconds for her resolve to fail and the tears to start up again. "Damn it," she cursed in a ragged breath, rushing off to the washroom just so she could let some of her anger out by slamming the washroom door as hard as she possibly could.
Jim didn't care that he'd shut their door hard enough to rattle windows, but when he heard that first sob that escaped her, he froze in his tracks. Standing in the alcove just outside their door, he hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at the door to the bedroom… before sighing heavily and walking away, just before he heard the washroom door slam as well.
Jim had been awoken in many unpleasant ways in his life – by the Flatula back on the Legacy, by his drill sergeant one morning at the academy when he'd overslept, by his mother beating down his door in the middle of the night because a guest had shown up and they need to be hospitable and make them something to eat. None of those had been fun, but Jim was certain that waking up to the sound of his angry wife yanking the front door closed behind her as hard as possible was by far the worst.
It took a moment for recognition to kick in and remind him he was sleeping on the couch and he was the reason she was throwing doors closed in the first place so he couldn't very well be upset with her for waking him. The clock told him it was still early (Very early. What was Tabitha doing awake at 4:30 in the morning anyway?), and he really had no inclination to follow her right now, so he rolled over and pulled the blankets back around him, pushing the guilt he felt to the back of his mind for now.
Tabitha hadn't really expected him to run after her or try to apologize right now, and she was really glad he didn't. She wasn't fuming like she had been the night before, but she was still angry and confused and hurt, and she really didn't think that trying to discuss this while she was still so emotional was going to be a good idea. Not to mention she was so exhausted she could barely think straight. At least she'd managed to sleep… if you could consider dozing off for twenty-minute intervals that only lead to a fitful rests of dark, unpleasant dreams "sleep" that is.
"Easy, lass!" Silver caught her with his cyborg arm when she tripped walking into the kitchen. "Yer fallin' all over the place today!"
It was true. She'd tripped up the steps that morning, she'd ran into a chair and nearly toppled over it, she'd stumbled into one of the customers and knocked their food out of their hand, resulting in a lot of apologizing and a meal on the house. "Yeah… sorry," she mumbled.
She started to walk away, but he didn't let her go. "Hold it – " Silver grabbed her shoulder and turned her back around, beginning to frown as he surveyed her.
"What?" she asked impatiently. "Silver, I have work to do."
"When was t'e last time ya slept, Tabby?"
Tabitha had to turn her eyes away from his harsh look, knowing she couldn't lie to his face. "Last night…"
He narrowed his eyes at her. "When was t'e last time ya slept well?"
The fact that she didn't give a vocal response was an answer in and of itself.
Silver sighed. "You an' Jimbo still fightin'?"
She nodded.
"'Bout t'e trip?"
Another small nod.
He sighed impatiently, pulling his apron off and tossing it on the counter. "You finish makin' t'e stew. I'll go talk t' 'im."
"But, wait – Silver, no – "
When he left without paying any attention to her pleas, she sighed, giving in and stepping up to the stove to stir the soup. She began to count the number of times she stirred it – 1, 2, 3 to the right; 1, 2, 3 to the left… It wasn't exactly necessary, but it was keeping her mind focused on something other than Jim or Henry or Silver… Tabitha didn't even realize the counting was lulling her to sleep until a loud horn suddenly sounded off in her ear. She gasped, jumping about a foot in the air as she looked around wildly for the cause of the noise before finally spotting the giggling pink blob hovering just above her head.
"Morph…" she sighed, reaching up to grab him. "Was that really necessary?"
Morph squeaked a bit and shrugged before beginning to snicker again.
"Where have you been?" He transformed into a tiny image of the Doppler kids. "Oh, helping babysit."
Morph shifted back to himself and nodded in approval. Suddenly, his tone became a bit more worried. He looked around, then morphed into the form of Jim.
Trying not to let any sadness register with her, she managed a half smile. "He's at our house. I'm sure he'll be up later."
Morph cheered wildly, squealing something that might have been a farewell to Tabitha before darting for the door, just as Henry opened it.
"Whoa!" Henry jumped when the tiny blob zipped past him, and then smirked at Tabitha. "Huh. I was wondering if that little guy was still around."
"Well… he is," Tabitha shrugged.
Henry glanced around the room, then back into the dining room. "Is it okay for me to be in here?"
She sighed. "Yeah, it's fine. I mean, normally we don't let customers back here, but I know you – I doubt anyone will notice or care… And I'm really, really sorry about Jim yesterday. I don't understand what's gotten into him."
"It's alright, Tabitha. There's no reason for you to be apologizing," he smirked. "But perhaps you could make it up to me by taking the rest of the day off to spend time with me. I'd like to catch up with you."
"Oh…" She hesitated, glancing around as she silently debated whether to go with him or not.
"I believe your friend said he owed you one, correct?" Henry continued. "Perhaps he'd be willing to take over for you."
Tabitha stared at him for a second. The logical part of her told her that going with Henry now was exactly the wrong thing to do… but the part of her that wanted to spite Jim was louder and much more enticing.
"What's t'is I hear about you an' Tabby fightin'?"
The loud voice startled Jim enough to make him flip off the couch, crashing to the floor tangled up in the blanket. "What?" he groaned, clenching his eyes shut so they didn't have to try to adjust to daylight streaming in from between the curtains.
"What's t'is about you an' Tabby fightin'?" Silver repeated, staring down at the young man who was slowly picking himself up off the floor. "T'is still about t'e trip to Ciaran?"
Jim sighed as he stood up. "Yeah. Tabitha isn't too happy about having to stay home… What are you doing here? How did you get in?"
"Ya gave yer mum a spare key," Silver reminded. "And I came t' tell ya t'e trip's off."
"What?" Jim very nearly shouted. "You can't just – "
"I ain't gonna ruin t'ings between you an' Tabby jus' so I can go see Nessie."
"Yeah? Well, I'm the captain, and I say we're going. Tabitha just… has to get over it."
Silver frowned at the young man's attitude as he watched him fold up the quilt he'd slept with. "Askin' Tabby to stay was just a suggestion, lad. I t'ink it would be better, but I'm not so sure it's worth – "
"Oh, it's worth it. She's staying," Jim said finitely.
The father-in-law crossed his arms and stared down at the younger man, but Jim was too stubborn to budge on his decision. "Don't do anyt'ing stupid, James," he finally sighed.
Jim watched him leave out the front door, but quickly shook off all concern over what Silver had said. Realizing it was nearly time for his shift to start anyway, he got ready and headed up to the inn, sparing a quick welcome to his mom and Abigail as he walked through the dining room and into the kitchen. "Alright, you can – "
Graham glanced up at Jim, then went back to serving the stew into bowls. "I was wondering when you'd show up. Look, can you take these out to table nine – "
"Where's Tabitha?" Jim questioned, completely ignoring anything Graham had just said.
"Hanging out with Henry."
If Graham said anything else, Jim didn't bother paying attention to it before he rushed out of the room.
"So you discovered Treasure Planet, went to the Interstellar Academy, graduated in only three years, graduated Valedictorian on top of that, and got married," Henry concluded after Tabitha's quick recap of her life since she'd last seen Henry. He chuckled, leaning over to place his coffee mug back on the table in front of the couch they were on. "Anything else?"
"That's it, more or less," she shrugged, deciding not to even start trying to explain the Reddend Fortune and the exceedingly long and personal story of her past that went with it. "What about you? What have you been up to?"
"Well, I don't know how you expect me to top that," he laughed, reclining and laying his arm on the back of the couch. "I've simply been spacing. As I told you yesterday, I moved up to captain when my father died, but that's been the only change really."
"No exciting adventures? No romance?" she teased.
"Not even remotely." When she shot him a skeptical look, his smile fell into a frown of confusion. "What?"
Tabitha rolled her eyes. "Henry, you were a regular Don Juan the last time we spaced together. Unless you've settled down, I find it hard to believe that's changed."
Henry stared at her for a moment, then smirked. "Alright, you caught me. I was going to avoid that subject at the risk of poisoning innocents."
She shot him a skeptical look. "I'm not thirteen anymore. I think I'm far from an innocent by now."
"Oh, is that so?" he asked slyly. "Little Miss Tabitha been having a few sexual exploits of her own, has she?"
Tabitha blushed. "I-I didn't say that!"
"Oh, calm down, love. I'm only teasing," he laughed, playfully patting her knee.
The way he'd called her 'love' still had her attention when she realized his hand was still resting on her knee, or actually just above her knee now.
"What the hell is going on?"
Tabitha and Henry both jerked around to see Jim standing in the doorway of the den, like some sixth sense had told him now was the perfect time to catch his wife in a somewhat compromising situation with another man… A sixth sense that probably came in the form of a certain friend or family member, Tabitha realized.
Henry moved his hand away and calmly looked at Jim. "Hello, Jim. I was just talking with Tabitha. She's – "
"I wasn't talking to you," Jim snapped at him.
"Jim, stop it!" Tabitha snapped, pushing herself to her feet.
"My apologies," Henry said innocently. "I'm sorry to have – "
"No, don't apologize to him," she interrupted, keeping her glare boring into Jim.
Jim was too busy giving Henry a death glare to notice his wife's though. "He better apologize, because he's going to be sorry if I – "
The second he'd continued to attack Henry, she'd marched over to him, cutting him short when she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room, down the hallway, and into the coat closet. "What is wrong with you?" she hissed. "Just because you're – "
"What the hell are we doing in a closet?" he interrupted, pushing heavy winter coats out of his way.
"Getting some privacy, because I like to keep our fights between us and not drag random people into it."
"Wha – Henry? Our fight has nothing to do with why I'm mad at him," he lied. "I'm mad because he thinks he can just walk in here and win you over like he did when you were younger."
"Exactly! When I was younger. Besides the fact that I'm married, I'm also older and smarter. Do you honestly think I won't notice him hitting on me?"
"Apparently not since he was just doing it!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
He rolled his eyes, scoffing at how senseless she seemed. "He had his hand on your thigh, Tabitha. Don't act like you didn't notice that."
Tabitha stared at him like he'd just sprouted another head. "Do you need an anatomy lesson? That was my knee, Jim."
"It was above your knee, and actually, I don't give a damn where it was because I don't want him touching you at all."
"All he did was pat my leg!"
Jim rolled his eyes. "So I just happened to walk in at the wrong time, is that what you're trying to tell me?"
"Yes, actually! It is! It's not like I was letting him feel me up until you walked into the room – "
"Yeah? So what would have happened if I hadn't walked in when I did?"
"Stars, Jim!" she said impatiently. "Do you actually think I'm going to cheat on you?"
"You said that you were going to flirt with him," he bitterly reminded her.
Tabitha's rebuttal was stopped short when the door to the closet flew open and they were both pulled out into the hallway.
"Hey!" Jim objected, trying to pull out of the hold someone had on him.
"Both o' ya need t' shut yer yaps. Now," Silver said in a low, threatening voice. "T'e guests are startin' to complain 'bout all the yellin'."
"Yeah, but – " Jim started.
"We weren't – " Tabitha spoke at the same time.
"I don't want to hear it," Silver interrupted both of them. "Get outside, t'e both o' ya. We're puttin' an' end to this."
He shoved them towards the back door and they both reluctantly stormed outside and onto the back porch. Abigail, who'd been reading a book in one of the chairs out there, stood up as they walked out. "What's going on?"
"Jim's gone insane, that's what's going on," Tabitha mumbled.
"You're the one that's lost her damn mind!" Jim shot back.
"Alright, both o' ya!" Silver shouted as he too stepped outside. "What t'e devil has gotten into t'e pair o' ya?"
Jim and Tabitha glanced at each other, then quickly looked in the opposite direction. Jim shoved his hands into his pocket with a loud sigh while Tabitha crossed her arms.
"What's going on with you two?" Abigail questioned.
Silver sighed. "Jim asked Tabby not t' come to Ciaran – "
"Like hell he did!" Tabitha decided to speak up, turning around to look at everyone again. "He told me he wouldn't let me come."
"I'm trying to keep you safe!" Jim shouted at her.
"I don't need you keeping me safe, and I certainly don't need you making decisions for me!"
"I'm not going to see you get hurt just because you're too stubborn to do the sensible thing. I'm the captain, and I say you're staying here."
Tabitha's mouth fell open as she threw her hands up in the air, looking to her parents as if to ask, 'Is it me?'
Abigail and Silver exchanged an anxious look. "Tabitha, dear…" Abigail began cautiously. "I don't think it's entirely unreasonable for Jim to want to keep you safe."
"That's not the part I have a problem with," Tabitha explained. "If he wants to protect me, he should just do it there."
"Tabitha, what part of this do you not understand?" Jim yelled, storming over to her. "There's a difference between knowing you're safe here and trying to keep you safe there!"
"So it's fine for me to stay home and worry about you, just as long as you don't have to worry about me?"
He sighed in frustration and walked away a few steps. "Can you please talk some sense into her?" he asked Silver.
Silver rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of how to approach the subject, so Abigail took over. "Tabitha, I think you're forgetting that the reason it's dangerous for you is because you're a young lady. That's what makes the trip especially dangerous for you."
"I know, but the planet's dangerous either way. Something could still happen to Jim, whether I'm there or not, and I'd rather be there with him… just in case something goes wrong," she explained.
"But by coming, you're putting everyone in more danger and making it more likely that something will go wrong," Jim added, keeping his back to her.
"Just stop it now," Silver interrupted. "No sense in talkin' yerself in circles."
As the two young adults both turned away from each other again, Abigail tried something else. "Maybe you two could work out some sort of compromise."
"Like what?" Jim and Tabitha asked in unison, then quickly glared at each other, as if irritated that the other one had stolen what they said.
"Well… perhaps you could shorten the trip. If you stayed only a couple of days on Ciaran, then Jim, you could make it back that much sooner. Plus, the less time you spend on that planet, the less likely something will happen."
"Something could still happen," Tabitha mumbled.
Abigail sighed and carefully approached her daughter, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Tabitha… if you think about it, there are some good sides to the idea of you staying home. Everyone will be under a lot less stress if they aren't constantly concerned about your welfare, and with the holidays around, Sarah's going to need some help around here… Not to mention this will be good practice for when you and Jim have children. Aren't you two planning to take turns voyaging after that?"
Jim could almost hear the air leave Tabitha. He could picture perfectly the frightened, heartbroken expression she was surely wearing now, but he was too stubborn to look at her. Before his conscience even had time to guilt trip him, she'd rushed back into the house, leaving her parents and him alone in the tense air that still hung around the porch.
"What was t'at about?" Silver questioned, looking to his wife and Jim to see if maybe he'd missed something.
Abigail shook her head, as lost as he was. "I don't understand… Did I say something wrong?"
"It wasn't your fault." Jim waited a second before actually turning to face them, trying to remain expressionless. "She… She's just got this idea in her head that we might not be able to have kids, and… I don't know, it's kind of a touchy subject."
Abigail was speechless for a moment… and when she did speak, her voice was barely audible. "Why does she think that?"
The young man sighed, suddenly sounding worn out and defeated instead of bitter and resentful. "I guess because it hasn't happened yet, but – "
"Yet?" his mother-in-law repeated. "Heavens, I didn't even realize the two of you were trying."
"Well, I wouldn't say we were trying exactly, but… we've been married two years, and we were never, you know… avoiding it. It was always a possibility, and we were just going to see what happened and roll with the punches. Now that it's been so long and it hasn't happened… and Cason and Rylee already have Jordan..."
Silver had only half listened to the last part of Jim's explanation; he'd been too focused on Abigail and her reaction. For a moment, she'd seemed fine, but then she picked up her old nervous habits – tugging on the ends of her sleeves, crossing her arms over herself. When her eyes glazed over, he frowned, reaching out and rubbing her upper arm. "Abby?"
Abigail looked back up at him, blinking away her daze. "Oh…" she said, as if just remembering where she was. "I'm alright."
Silver wasn't a bit convinced. He frowned as he brushed a stray tear off her cheek with his thumb. "Get back inside. I'll be in soon."
As Abigail nodded and quickly rushed off, Jim curiously looked to Silver for an explanation. "What…? Is she okay?"
"She'll be fine. Now, back t' you an' Tabby," Silver said quickly enough to keep Jim from asking anything else about Abigail. "Ya can't keep t'is up. Fightin' ain't gonna do any good."
"It's not like I want to fight with her. I just want her to understand – "
"And what d' ya t'ink she wants, lad? Hmm?" Silver's rebuttal silenced any more complaints from Jim. "Until t'e two o' ya can work t'is out, I say ya split yer shifts – one o' ya can come work in t'e morning, one at night. Ye'll switch up at lunch."
Jim let out a heavy sigh, half-shrugging in acceptance as he stared at the door Tabitha had left through moments before.
"Now, since Tabby's run off t' who knows where and because she hadn't been sleepin', I say you take t'e shift now an' she'll have t'e morning shift tomorrow."
"Whatever," he mumbled as he headed back indoors before his father-in-law could chastise him anymore. After walking through a few rooms in the house and seeing no signs of Tabitha, he decided she'd probably headed home without him having to tell her of the new plan, so he sat off for the kitchen.
"Are you actually here to work this time, or are you about to run off again?" Graham asked in a way that was hard to decipher whether he was teasing or annoyed.
Jim flat out ignored the inquiry, just pulled on an apron and set to work stacking food onto trays. "Why did you take over Tabitha's shift this morning?"
"I owed her one from yesterday, and she wanted to hang out with Henry, so she got me to cover."
Jim very nearly dropped the bowls he was holding. "You let her go with him?"
Graham arched an eyebrow. "No, I physically restrained her and forced her to work back here. Of course I let her go - what kind of question is that?"
"Then let me ask you this – why?"
"Why?" Graham repeated, holding Jim's gaze defiantly. "Oh, gee, I don't know. Maybe because they're old friends."
"They're not old friends! Hell, they're barely even new friends. He's just taking advantage of her."
"How?" Graham asked, honestly confused by Jim's logic. "By wanting to spend time with her? Or is this about how he hugged her yesterday? Oh, wait – it doesn't matter, because either way, you're overreacting. Just calm down, Hawkins."
Jim slammed the dishes back to the counter. "Look, don't tell me to calm down! He knows we're fighting, and he's using it as an excuse to spend as much time as he can with her."
"That's not an excuse, Jim. That's logic. You're fighting with her, while he seems to be genuinely interested in her. Who do you think she'd rather hang out with?"
The frustrated young man released a heavy sigh of aggravation as he picked up the trays to take them into the dining room. "Just forget it."
Graham rolled his eyes and turned back to the stove. "Maybe if you stopped acting like such an ass, the two of you could make up already, and then she'd go back to treating Henry as an acquaintance."
"You shouldn't have let her go with him," Jim half-mumbled.
Without warning, Graham slammed his hand down on the counter as he held a finger up to his friend. "Don't start that bullshit with me, Hawkins. Just because Henry's an asshole and you and Tabitha are fighting doesn't mean you can start up with me too. I'm not Tabitha's babysitter, and I'm not about to interfere on your behalf." When Jim refused to respond, he sighed and added, "She's just doing it to piss you off. It's not like she would ever actually – "
"I know she wouldn't. I'm not worried about that," Jim suddenly snapped. "I don't want Henry getting the idea that he can get away with whatever he wants."
"Pretty sure he had that idea before he ever walked into the inn," his friend pointed out. "But come on – he wouldn't try anything, not with you and Silver and me, not to mention Tabitha can hold her own if she needs to. It would be a total suicide if he pushed it too far."
Jim thought this all through for a moment – how she was just doing it to make him mad, how all he had to do was apologize and try to compromise with her… A moment later, he lifted the trays again, mumbling another, "Forget it," as he left the room.
Silver had made the plan, and they agreed to it, albeit a bit reluctantly. They knew it was probably for the best, but they couldn't say they really enjoyed admitting they needed to stay away from each other for a while. Even so, it was true, so Jim finished off the first day, and Tabitha took the shift the next morning. Then Jim did the afternoon and the morning after that, so Tabitha took that night. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth… The only thing no one had thought about was that their unstable sleep schedules were doing nothing to alleviate their stress; lack of sleep, frustration over the situation as a whole, the tension with Henry there, and the fact that they couldn't make themselves work out a compromise had them turning everything into a fight.
"Hey, get up."
Jim groaned and rolled over. "What?"
"Get up," Tabitha harshly repeated. "You were supposed to be at the inn an hour ago."
With a frustrated groan, Jim pushed himself up and headed to the bedroom to get ready. As he was finishing up, Tabitha suddenly appeared in the doorway.
"Do you know what day we're leaving to go to Ciaran?" she asked.
Jim didn't even bother to look at her as he continued pulling on his belt. "I know what day I'm leaving."
Tabitha shook her head, trying to keep herself from yelling. "So you really like the way things are right now? You like sleeping on the couch, splitting shifts at the inn, never spending time with one another?"
Jim scoffed. "Yeah, it's been the best week of my life. Will you move?" he growled as he tried to walk out the door.
She stepped to the side and let him pass. "How long are you planning to keep this up?" When he didn't acknowledge her question, she followed him into the living room. "Don't act like you can't hear me!"
But that's exactly what he did. He kept walking, not wasting time with a coat or scarf. It may have seemed harsh and rude, but he was certain that responding to her, no matter what he said, would be worse. He might have been wrong though, because spending the whole day feeling guilty about it was no picnic either. In fact, by the time he was actually taking supper out to the guests, he'd made the decision he would apologize for that.
That plan was shot to hell when he arrived back home late that night and found Tabitha already asleep in their bed. A smile unwittingly graced his lips as he noticed she was latched onto the pillow the same way she usually snuggled up to him. So she must miss him… or something like that, right?
He didn't even make a conscious decision to approach her, but then there he was, carefully taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Reaching out, he brushed her hair over her ear, his land lingering and gently fingering the ends of the golden-brown strands.
"Tabitha…" He paused when he realized he had no idea where he was going with that. The apology seemed like a stupid and pointless thing to say now… Stroking the backs of his fingers down her bare arm, he realized what he needed to say, what he hadn't had the chance to tell her in days. "Look, I know… that you kind of hate me right now, but…" Jim sighed, disappointed in himself and the fact he was having such a hard time saying this. "I love you. I-I just wanted to say it because I hadn't said it in a while and I didn't want you to… forget or… doubt it or whatever. I love you, a-and I know it probably doesn't seem like it, but just remember that I'm doing all of this because I love you… and I just want you to be safe."
Though Tabitha was awake enough to hear everything, to feel him press a gentle kiss to her cheek, to listen to his footsteps leaving the room, the door slowly closing… she did nothing. Nothing except wait until he was out of the room before she gave up her fight against crying.
"Tabitha…"
She would have sworn that Jim had just been there, that she'd only been asleep for a few minutes. She groaned and rolled over, moaning complaints about being woken up. "What?"
"It's time for your shift at the inn."
Tabitha opened her eyes to find Jim standing over her. "Oh…"
"Yeah, you were supposed to be up there a while ago."
"Damn it," she groaned as she pushed herself out of bed. As she caught sight of the clock, she realized she really was supposed to be up there a while ago… approximately four hours ago.
She wasn't going to address it, but Jim saw her staring at the time and spoke up first. "It's, ah… no big deal. I figured you were probably sleeping, and I thought if you were that tired, I should… you know, let you."
Tabitha glanced over at him and realized how nervous he looked: he was rubbing the back of his neck, turning his gaze to anywhere but her… It was the same kind of nervousness he used to pick up when he would do something nice for her but was unsure how she would react. Like the indoor picnic he'd done for her birthday last year, or the first time he ever bought her flowers, or when he'd proposed and wasn't sure she'd like the engagement ring…
"Yeah," she finally blurted out. "I… I-I've been pretty tired. I mean, I've been asleep for a while now… but – "
"But our sleep schedules are… messed up."
"Yeah."
They stared at each other for a moment, their faces and minds blank and unsure of what to do. Jim stopped acting quite as nervous, dropping his hand to his side as he cleared his throat. "So, um… I-I'm pretty tired now, so I'll… I-I'm going to sleep."
"Yeah, y-you should go… Get some rest," she agreed.
He gave her a sort of unsure, half-smile and left. Tabitha watched him go, sighing and wondering why she felt so guilty… After showering and getting ready, she headed into the living room to fetch her boots and coat. She tiptoed into the living room, trying not to wake Jim in case he had managed to fall asleep. She stopped by the front door to pull on her warm clothes, the whole time watching her husband. The blanket he'd had over him had apparently fallen at some point. At first, she didn't think he'd even noticed, but then he sucked in a shuddering breath and rolled to his side, pressing into the cushions of the back of the couch and wrapping his arms around himself to get warm.
With her hand on the doorknob in preparation to leave, she stared at him. Deciding once again not to head the pang of guilt her heart was showing, she opened the door. Immediately, she saw a shiver run down Jim's spine and he curled up tighter. Unable to stand it any longer, she shut the door and walked over to him; she felt guilty enough about everything as it was, she didn't need more reasons to hate herself.
Jim was still mostly asleep, but he knew that, all of a sudden, he'd gotten a lot warmer. He desperately grabbed onto the blanket that had been draped over him, pulling it to him tightly so it wouldn't fall again. Sleep was already starting to overtake again him when he felt fingertips brush across his forehead, pushing his bangs away from his eyes. It wasn't until he heard her gentle voice though that he really started to come to.
"Jim…" she began quietly. "I-I don't know if you remember that note I wrote you in the front of Treasure Planet… but I meant it, a-and I still mean it." She gulped and let out a sad sigh. "I am forever yours. I know I've been paying more attention to Henry, but it was mostly just to make you mad at first, a-and then it was because he's always up there and… you aren't." She couldn't believe it – was she seriously about to cry again? Biting back a sob, she quickly finished up. "But I'm with you. I love you, and… I-I'm all yours."
Jim wasn't so sure he wasn't about to cry himself… or maybe scream, or maybe… No, he wasn't about to kiss her. What was he thinking? Now was definitely not the time, no matter how much he wanted to.
When Tabitha leaned down to place a soft kiss against his forehead, she didn't expect him to be looking at her when he pulled back. Now she was at a sudden loss – what was she supposed to do? He was supposed to have slept through all that. She hesitated tried to judge his reaction, but Jim's expression was as blank and unsure as hers was. Biting her lip, she turned her eyes away. When he didn't say anything after a couple of seconds, she realized she had to.
"Thanks," she blurted out. "F-For letting me sleep in."
"Don't mention it," he quietly mumbled.
They caught each other's eye, then awkwardly turned away. Biting her lip, Tabitha stood once again and made for the door -
"We're leaving in three days."
She stopped a couple of feet away and slowly turned to look at him.
"Friday morning," he continued. "Commodore Aldamae stopped by today with all the paperwork for Silver."
"Oh."
"And, uh… Silver and Graham and I are going to the spaceport tomorrow to get some supplies, then Thursday we'll rest up and pack, and..."
"Leave Friday morning," she finished for him. He nodded, and another awkward moment passed between them. "Why are you telling me this?"
"You asked," Jim stated with an implied "obviously." "And we're still married... I'm not just going to up and leave without giving you a heads up."
"And by 'we' you mean…?" she continued.
"What?"
"You said 'we're leaving in three days' – who is 'we'?"
He hesitated, carefully considering what he could say to avoid another fight. "The people who are going."
She sighed heavily, reaching up to twist her hair. "Jim, we've got to do something about this, work out a compromise like Abigail said…"
Refusing to look at her now, he shook his head. "I… I don't think we should right now. My mom really needs help up at the inn, and…" And he was too tired to try to work this out now, but he didn't say that. "You should really get up there."
How was she supposed to take that? Was he trying to avoid the subject completely? Was he avoiding her? "Fine," she whispered.
Jim only managed to get a split second's glimpse of her before she was outside.
At least there'd been no door slamming this time.
"How would you like to take the day off tomorrow?"
To say Tabitha was caught off guard was an understatement; she'd been so focused on thinking through how to work things out with Jim that she hadn't even noticed Henry walk up to her, let alone comprehended what exactly it was he'd just said. "Wh-What?"
"A day off," he chuckled, following her as she made her way around to the tables and collected dirty dishes. "You work too much, Tabitha. And I'd like to have someone show me the sights."
"The sights of Montressor? We have cliffs – that's about it."
Henry laughed, as if unsure of whether she was joking or not. "Oh, come on. There must be something we could do around here!"
"Not really." She walked back to the kitchen, so he continued to follow her. "That's why the Benbow is always so crowded: it's one of the only places you can actually go, besides a couple of taverns – "
"Well, why not a tavern then?" he cheerfully suggested.
Arching an eyebrow, she began to get a bit suspicious of what it was he was after; a tavern was rarely considered a 'sight' one would show to visitors. "No… They're not exactly respectable or safe or anything."
"I'd be there to protect you, love."
Tabitha started to snap at him and tell him to quit calling her that… but it was probably just a nickname… force of habit, right? "I don't think Jim or Silver, or anyone else for that matter, would agree to that plan."
Henry frowned. "Yes, that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about… Why is it everyone's so protective of you? This trip I keep hearing about – they're not letting you go?"
"They're trying not to," she corrected. "It hasn't been decided for sure yet. We want to work out a compromise – "
"A compromise of what? Why does he object so strongly to your going? Earlier you explained it like you always take all of your voyages together."
"Well, we do."
"So how is this any different?"
"It's more dangerous."
Henry stared at her for a second, then shook his head, looking away thoughtfully. "Excuse me – I'm sure it's not my place to say, but that's completely idiotic."
This piqued her curiosity. "What do you mean?"
"Too dangerous? For a girl who survived a supernova and a mutiny and… a planet's explosion? I'll agree that Ciaran is dangerous, but you could handle it, no problem."
"Wait, you've been?"
"Once or twice," he shrugged noncommittally. "It is rough… Then again, they'd be there to protect you too… What exactly is it that they're lacking confidence about?"
A wrinkle formed across her forehead and she started to chew on her lip. "I-I don't know really… They just care about me, I guess. Too many close calls on my life for them to consider taking unnecessary risks on it."
Henry rubbed at the five o'clock shadow around his chin. "You know, as it stands, my crew and I have no definite plans for our next voyage. We could very easily accompany you – provide you with extra protection, and there'd be no reason to be running yourselves ragged on a skeleton crew either."
Tabitha was shocked. "You'd really do that?"
"Of course! I'd hate to see talent, and beauty, like yours wasted by being stuck here where you're "safe.""
That didn't exactly sound like a comment made by a friend, she realized. Something about it made her stomach start to twist into knots, but she tried to play it cool. "I-I'll… run it by Jim and see what he thinks."
Henry's face fell to something resembling anger for the briefest of seconds, but then it was gone, replaced by the amused smirk he'd had before. "Well, I'll be holding my breath for news on how that suggestion goes over with him… But back to my original point – tomorrow?"
"Henry, I just can't. Besides the fact that there's nowhere to go, Jim and Silver and Graham will be at the spaceport getting supplies, so I really – "
"Oh, they will?"
Tabitha definitely wasn't sure she was comfortable with how intrigued he sounded about that, but when she glanced at him, he didn't look much more than curious. "Yeah… so I really should stay here and help Sarah."
"Well, that seems perfectly reasonable," Henry concluded. "Alright, so not tomorrow. Perhaps another time then?" And then before she could respond, he grabbed her hand, lifted it to his lips and placed a light kiss on it, then wandered away, calling out, "Goodnight, Tabitha," over his shoulder.
It was only a few seconds later when Graham suddenly came barging in to the kitchen, glaring at her, and she was jostled out of her confused thoughts on Henry. "What?"
"What the hell are you doing?" he questioned.
Her mouth fell open in shock and she let out a scoff of a laugh. "Excuse me?"
"Look, last time you hung out with Henry, I covered your shift because I owed you one, and Jim ended up biting my head off about how I "let" you go with Henry. I'm not going to listen to that crap again."
Confused and offended, it took a moment for her to come up with something to say. "Well, sorry, Graham, but you're not in charge of me, so – "
"Which is exactly what I told Jim last time," he continued. "But that was because I thought he was overreacting. Now?" He scoffed and shook his head in disgust.
Tabitha was completely thrown off by this whole confrontation. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Graham rolled his eyes. "Stars, Tabitha, I really didn't think you were this blind – he's hitting on you. He wants to get you alone somewhere. He was asking you to take him to 'see the sights' or whatever bullshit he said, and then the second he found out the rest of us weren't going to be here, he dropped it. Tabitha, I'm telling you, this is not – "
Tabitha looked aghast. "Were you listening in on us?"
He stopped, looking a bit sheepish for a moment… but then he straightened up and stared her down. "Yeah, I was. And it's a good thing too since you're apparently too oblivious to see what he's after – I can warn you."
"Warn me?" Tabitha looked ready to hit him, tightening her hands into fists at her side. "Graham, for one thing, this whole argument between me and Jim is none of your damn business. For another, you had no right to listen in on my conversation! And lastly, I can take care of myself, so back off!"
With a loud, offended sigh, Graham threw his hands up and stormed out of the room. She was certain that wasn't the end of it, but she was glad he'd left her alone for now… at least in the physical sense; everything he'd said was still replaying through her mind, heightening the suspicions she'd already had.
"Jim, look, before we go – "
"What?" Jim asked, sounding already exasperated even though this was the first thing Graham said to him that morning.
Silver shrugged on his jacket and anxiously listened to Graham as the three of them left the Benbow and headed to the transport stop. "It's about Henry and Tabitha," Graham continued. "I heard him talking to her last night, and – "
"Look, Graham – " A lack of sleep and the fact that they were only two days away from leaving and he still hadn't made a definitive plan had Jim already impatient. "I really don't want to hear what he said to her. I don't want to hear what she said to him. I just don't want to hear about it."
Graham sighed. "Yeah, I get that and all, but – "
"No! Look, just drop it. Don't talk to me about them. I don't care."
Silver frowned. "Ya do care, lad."
Jim glared at both of them. "Forget it! It's not like I can say anything to her to change her mind. She's going to do whatever the hell she wants anyway."
Graham sighed in frustration. "Jim, just – "
"Shut up!"
Graham and Jim stared each other down; Jim was the first one to release an apologetic sigh, but he said nothing as he turned and kept walking. Silver started to follow, but paused when he realized Graham wasn't moving. "Ya coming?"
Graham shook his head, keeping his gaze focused on Jim's back like he was trying to burn a whole through him. "No. No, I need to stay here."
Before Silver could talk the young man out of it, Graham was headed back up to the inn. By the time Silver caught up to Jim, he was waiting at the end of the dock, staring out into open space. "Jimbo?"
Jim shook his head, refusing to really acknowledge Silver's presence beside him. "I don't know what I'm going to do." They were both quiet, waiting on each other to say something, until Jim let out a loud sigh and ran his hand through his hair. "This isn't worth it anymore. I want to keep her safe, but not if she's going to hate me for it."
Silver hesitated, thinking through what advice might be appropriate here… but nothing good came to mind. "Ah, I'm sorry, lad," he apologized, placing a hand on Jim's shoulder. "It was my idea to make Tabby stay home, my idea to go on t'e voyage in t'e first place – "
"Yeah, maybe, but I'm the one who tried to handle this and just… screwed up and made everything worse!" Jim was practically shouting by the time he was done. He kicked his frustration out on one of the posts of the dock before turning back to Silver. "I… I feel like I should… apologize?"
The way Jim ended the statement with a questioning tone made Silver arch an eyebrow. "Well don't ask me, lad! I don't even know t'e whole story; t'ain't my place to say what ya should do."
Jim sighed and started to rub his eyes with his fingers, wishing that he'd gotten more sleep, wishing that he'd handled this from the beginning, and that Henry wasn't there, or that Graham was here with advice (or at least something to make him laugh); wish that things would just magically work out somehow –
"But if ya t'ink ya should apologize, ya probably should."
The young man slowly looked back up at his father-in-law, keeping his whole face completely blank. "What do I even apologize for? I can apologize for fighting, but that still doesn't fix the problem – "
Jim's questioning as cut short as the transport approached the pier. Silver gave a warm chuckle and clapped him on the back. "Well… Ya got t'e rest of t'e day to figure it out."
"So have you mentioned my proposal to Jim yet?"
Tabitha mentally groaned at the question, because Graham had been there to here it. No surprise – Graham had been around to hear everything that was said to her. They might as well have been handcuffed together with how much freedom he was giving her. She was surprised he'd even let her use the washroom by herself.
Sure enough, Graham was instantly alert. "What proposal?"
As if the air in the kitchen hadn't been tense enough already, what with Henry volunteering to help Mrs. Hawkins out around the inn, and Graham playing babysitter, and Tabitha just wanting to get as far away as possible from both of them. Henry bristled and stared Graham down. "I was talking to Tabitha."
"And I was talking to you," Graham shot back. "What proposal?"
Tabitha sighed and intervened. "Henry proposed that he and his crew could escort us to Ciaran to ensure my safety."
"And you said you'd run it by Jim," Graham guessingly completed for her. "Well, here's an idea – don't." He turned to Henry. "Thanks so much for the offer, but we're not interested."
"Last I heard, Mr. Emerson, you were only the first mate. I don't see how this is any of your business," Henry scowled.
"The captain's not here, so I'm letting you know what he would say."
"That's it," Tabitha mumbled to herself. Throwing the ladle into the pot of soup she'd been stirring, she grabbed Graham's arm and yanked him out the back door.
"What the hell are you doing?" he snapped as he jerked out of her grasp.
Tabitha kept her voice low and stared him down. "Leave. Me. Alone."
"With him?" He scoffed. "Yeah, I think not."
"Graham, I don't know what your problem is, but I swear to the stars if you don't give me some personal space I'll – "
"Personal space? What, so Henry can invade it again?"
"Shut up!" She quickly lowered her voice from a yell at the risk of being overheard by some of the guests. "Graham, I don't care what you think Henry's up to. I don't care what you think Jim's reaction to all this is going to be. I don't care. Please, for the love of the Etherium, stay the hell away from me."
Graham was already working on untying his apron by the time she was done. "You know," he began with a humorless laugh. "It's really no surprise you and Jim are married." He pulled the apron off over his head and threw it at her before storming down the steps of the back porch. "You're both as stubborn as the day is long, and you don't give a damn when your friend's trying to help you. So forget it! You're on your own, Tabitha. Enjoy, and when he tries to pull something, don't say I didn't warn you."
Tabitha watched him walk back around towards the front of the inn before shaking her head. "Damn it," she mumbled as she headed back in.
"Everything alright?"
Henry was, of course, right where she'd left him – waiting on her return. "Fine," she answered tensely.
Henry smiled. "Well, I'm glad. I – "
"Look, Henry, could you please – " She stopped short, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to calm herself. "Would you… just give me some space for a little while?"
When Henry realized he had it no better than Graham, he scowled. However, keeping up the disguise, he quickly turned it into an unconvincing smile and nodded at her. "As you wish, Tabitha."
Once alone in the kitchen, Tabitha felt slightly more at ease, but no less guilty or tired or stressed or confused. She sank down onto one of the benches beside the kitchen table, then leaned over until she was stretched out on it, her face buried in her arm as she took deep breaths and tried to calm down.
Next thing she knew, a gentle hand was rubbing her shoulder. "Tabitha?"
She opened her eyes, trying to remember what had happened, then shot up, nearly butting heads with Abigail in the process. "What… what - ?"
"You fell asleep, dear," Abigail kindly explained. "John had mentioned how tired you'd been lately, so Sarah and I decided to let you sleep."
"I didn't expect you to sleep so long though!" Sarah called from the other side of the kitchen. "That bench is hardly a comfortable resting place – I expected you to wake up within a couple of hours."
Tabitha rubbed at her eyes. "I was asleep longer than a couple of hours?"
"Darling, you've been asleep almost six," Abigail explained.
"Six?" The young woman jumped up, looking out the window for verification that it really was near dinner time. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't even mean to…"
"It's quite alright," Abigail assured her with a warm hug. "To be honest, I've been worried about you…" She stared her daughter down, concern etched through her features. "I know you and Jim haven't been on the best of terms lately… but are you alright?"
Tabitha gulped and nodded, looking away as she told the unconvincing lie.
With a loud sigh, Abigail gave her daughter another quick hug. "Alright, dear… Just remember you can come to me for anything."
Tabitha only watched her mother make it halfway across the room before she stopped her. "Wait!" Abigail turned around, looking at her curiously. "I… Could I talk to you?" she asked, biting her lip.
Abigail smiled and nodded for Tabitha to follow her.
Jim had spent the entire day planning out an apology – trying to figure out what specifically he needed to apologize for, and how to do it without making it sound like he was conceding and letting her come on the voyage, and trying to figure out what words to use to avoid another fight. When they arrived back at the Benbow that evening, he had a vague outline of what he wanted to say… and he was just going to roll with it.
Following the directions from his mother, he headed to the den in search of Tabitha. Just as he turned the corner, he heard them talking and stopped, leaning against the wall to see if it was something important or something that could be interrupted.
"… wondering how he convinced you to stay here."
"Oh." Abigail sighed. "It certainly wasn't easy. John and I ended up fighting as well, though only for a night, but… to be honest, I still don't want to stay."
Jim knew it was rude to eavesdrop, but curiosity got the best of him. Maybe Tabitha would say something that could give him a better idea of what he specifically needed to apologize for…
"Then why did you agree to?" Tabitha curiously inquired. "Aren't you worried about him?"
"Of course. I'm worried about John, and you and Jim and everyone going. It's a dangerous planet and I know you're all at risk…" Jim heard Abigail take a deep breath. "Eventually, I just had to trust John."
"Trust…? But I trust Jim, I just don't agree that I should have to – "
"Wait, let me finish," Abigail said patiently. "Sometimes you have to put what the other person wants ahead of what you want. You have to believe that they only want what's best for you, and trust that they're trying to give you that."
Jim slouched back against the wall.
"B-But then why shouldn't Jim be doing that for me?" Tabitha questioned earnestly.
"Tabitha, darling, do you have any idea how much that boy loves you?"
The boy in question let out a quiet chuckle to himself.
"Well… yes, of course, but – "
"Do you think he'd continue fighting with you for as long as he has if he didn't feel so strongly about this?"
No. No, of course he wouldn't. She knew that… right? Surely that alone was a hint at how important this was to him…
"No…" Tabitha reluctantly agreed. "He wouldn't."
"Then maybe you should take a moment to see things from his point of view, completely; maybe he'll walk you through his thought process."
"I-I still don't understand why this is something I should be doing for him… Why doesn't it work the same in reverse?"
Good question…
"It does, of course," Abigail explained. "Perhaps you should both calmly talk through the reasoning for what you want."
"And then what? What if we still don't agree?"
"Then one of you has to quit being so stubborn and give in." Jim could practically hear Tabitha anxiously chewing on her lip and her fingers twisting through her hair. Abigail continued. "Tabitha, the reason you want to go – Do you believe it's because you have Jim's best interests at heart, or is it simply your own personal desire?"
Jim's eyes widened as he waited for an answer… but Tabitha's silence was enough of one. Would she realize now that he was doing this for her, not for himself?
"Maybe this is one of those times where you need to trust Jim and agree to what he wants, but I promise there will be times when he has to do the same for you."
Jim heard them shifting on the couch. "Thanks, mom."
"You are very welcome, darling."
Taking a deep breath, Jim turned and started to walk in, trying to appear as though he hadn't been listening in, and stopped in the doorway. "Um… hey."
"Hey," Tabitha said.
Abigail quickly and quietly dismissed herself out the other door to go help Sarah, leaving the couple alone, staring at each other with mixed emotions.
"Tabitha, I just wanted to – "
"Jim, I think we should – "
They both let out a light laugh. "You first," Jim smiled.
Taking a slow, deep breath, she stood up and walked over to him. "I think we should… talk."
Jim nodded and reached for her hand. "So do I."
"Want to go home?" she asked as she stepped into the hallway with him.
"Yeah… let's – "
"Tabitha?"
Tabitha turned to look at Henry, mentally cursing him for showing up right now. "Yeah?"
"Could I speak with you for a moment? Privately?" Henry cast a slightly disapproving glance at Jim.
Tabitha opened her mouth to object, turning to look at Jim, but her husband just gave a half-hearted smile. "Just, uh… come find me when you're done, I guess."
She was a bit surprised that he had no objections, but she took that as a good sign; maybe they really were on their way to working things out. She nodded, giving his hand a tight squeeze before releasing it and following Henry.
Alone once again, Jim sighed to himself; he still had one more apology to give. It took him a few minutes to find Graham hanging out on the front path of the Benbow, playing solitaire with a little help from Morph.
"Thanks, Morph, but you turning into a Ten of Clubs just because I need it is considered cheating I think," Graham laughed.
Morph started to do it anyway, but the second he caught sight of Jim, he emitted a high pitched squeal and raced over Graham's shoulder to the other man. Jim couldn't help but chuckle as Morph licked him. "Okay! Morph, I get it! It's nice to see you too!" When he managed to calm the blob down and looked back at his friend, Graham had already stacked up the entire game and was headed back towards Jim… or so Jim thought until he walked past him without saying a word. "Hey!"
Graham stopped on the bottom step of the porch and turned around. "What?"
Jim opened his mouth, then stopped, hesitating to apologize just yet. "What were you trying to tell me this morning?"
"Oh, now you want to know?" Graham scoffed.
"Look, I'm sorry," Jim apologized as he approached his friend. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I know you were trying to help, and… I'm just sorry, okay?"
Graham's serious expression didn't falter. "Henry's been trying to get Tabitha alone."
Jim's eyes widened. "What?"
"At first, he was asking her to take her to see the sights, but when he found out she was staying here, he stopped and decided to volunteer to help Mrs. Hawkins since you and Silver were gone. I was trying to tell you that – what?"
Jim had been looking more and more panicked as Graham spoke. "He's alone with her now."
The boys stared at each for only a moment before rushing up the steps and back inside. "Why would he want to get her alone?" Jim questioned.
"I don't know. I don't get what he's playing at. Oh, and apparently he also volunteered him and his crew to serve as escorts on our trip to Ciaran – so that Tabitha could go and he could help keep her safe."
As they burst into the kitchen, Sarah jumped and nearly dropped the stack of dishes she was returning to a cabinet. "Boys! You almost gave me a heart attack! What's the rush?"
"Where's Tabitha?" Jim questioned.
"On the back porch with Henry." Jim raced over to the back door, which was (thankfully) standing open just enough for him to hear what was going on. Graham started to follow, but Sarah stopped him. "Graham, I need you and Jim to start making the pies for desert. I've got to go take care of the guests that just showed up."
"But – " Before Graham could object, Sarah was out of the kitchen and he was stuck rolling dough for the pie crusts. "What's going on, Jim?"
Jim held up a finger, telling his friend to keep quiet so he could listen.
"Tabitha, are you happy with your life here?"
Needless to say, this was not the kind of question Tabitha had expected to get, and it caught her off guard. "W-Well… yeah. I've got my family, and Jim, and we've got jobs – "
"I understand that you're well off here, and that you're probably contented here," Henry stopped her, stepping closer and gazing down at her. "But are you really truly happy where you are now?"
Tabitha sighed and stepped away. "Henry… I'm sorry. I knew this was going to happen. I-I know I've kind of been… leading you on the past few days – spending time with you and stuff – but… I wasn't trying to send… that kind of signal. I'm married to Jim, and I'm the happiest I've ever been."
Henry stared at her, scoffing as if he was amused by this statement. "Then tell me, Tabitha, why exactly have you been so upset the last few days if you're the happiest you've ever been."
"Because Jim and I have been in a rough patch. A rough patch I was planning to fix just before you interrupted me in the hallway."
"So you're telling me that you're truly happy with a man who is overprotective of you? Who won't let you do the things you want to do? Come now, Tabitha, we both know that's not like you."
"Stop acting like you know everything about me, Henry," she snapped. "I know you knew me when I was younger, but a lot has changed since then."
"Clearly, if you're willing to stay stranded on a planet like this when you have other options."
"What other options – "
Henry rushed forward like it was the moment he'd been waiting for, grabbing her hands in his. "Come with me, Tabitha. I'll never try to hold you back from doing the things you want to do. Your beauty and talent will never be wasted with me. Please, Tabitha. You deserve better than this."
Tabitha laughed in outright shock, pulling her hands away from him. "You must be mental. I'm married."
"I've seen hundreds of women who were married as well, women who claimed to be happy until someone gave them the chance to admit otherwise," he argued.
"I don't know what kind of women you've been dealing with, and I don't know what you got out of them, but whatever it is you want from me isn't going to happen. Jim and I are in love – "
"Oh, really? And this is what couples in love act like?"
"Yes, Henry, it is!" Tabitha yelled, losing what little patience she had left. "You act like love is about getting along all the time, and it's not! That would be excruciatingly boring. Love is… every other emotion you can think of all rolled into one - you just came in at a bad time and aren't paying attention to the right ones."
Henry sighed impatiently. "All I know is the only emotions I've seen you wear since I got here have been anger or depression, and I hate to see you living like that. I want you to know that I'd do everything to make you happy. None of this 'you can't handle it' nonsense - "
"You're missing the point! It's not nonsense! Jim loves me, and if - "
"He's got a funny way of showing it then," Henry added disdainfully.
Tabitha took a deep breath and released it slowly. "If Jim honestly thinks that I shouldn't go, he's only looking out for me. We're in love, which is clearly something you can't seem to grasp. I'm not going to leave him. Ever. There's nothing in the stars that could change the way Jim and I feel about each other, especially not anything you're going to say or do. Even if Jim and I fight every single day for the rest of our lives, even if he wants me to stay home from every voyage we go on, I'll still be a thousand times happier with him than I could ever be without him."
Henry sighed and reached for her hand again. "Tabitha - "
"You need to leave," she ordered, taking a step back from him.
"But, Tabitha, love - "
"Hey!"
Tabitha and Henry both turned around to see Jim standing in the doorway. His focus was on Henry for the moment, and he wore a glare that made Tabitha think he'd probably heard more of this conversation than he really should have.
"What's going on?" he finally asked.
"I'm simply talking with an old friend," Henry said calmly. "Perhaps you should stop jumping to conclusions."
"Perhaps you should stop hitting on my wife." Jim walked over and stood defensively between Henry and Tabitha. "She told you to leave. Do it voluntarily, or I'll make you."
"Is that a threat?"
"It's a promise."
Henry paused, a flicker of fear passing over his face before his nonchalance was back. "It's just that I keep noticing how upset Tabitha's been these past few days. It's really not any of my business why, but - "
"Yeah. You're right. It isn't any of your damn business, so drop it."
Henry chuckled in his naturally condescending way, placing one hand on Jim's shoulder. "Listen, James, I'm sure you're just as great as all the rumors say you are, but the simple fact is, I've seen you bring Tabitha nothing but heartache since I got here. I spent almost a year spacing with her when she was 13 and never saw her cry once. So either she's gotten weaker over time - which, knowing her like I do, I highly doubt - or you're doing something wrong."
Jim glanced at the hand on his shoulder, then gritted his teeth and pushed it off. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, don't I? Then why are you so angry? You sure I haven't hit a touchy spot?"
He took a deep breath in a failed attempt to calm down. "Just stay away from her, from us."
Henry raised an eyebrow and looked at Tabitha. "You always let him tell you who you're allowed to hang out with?"
"No, but since I happen to agree with him, I'm not going to object," she snipped.
Henry stared at them both, then held up his hands in surrender and started to head inside, so Jim cautiously turned around to look at Tabitha. "You okay?"
Tabitha nodded. "Yeah… fine."
He released a sigh of relief, reaching for her hand and absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over the back of it. "So, uh… we were about to head home…"
Tabitha nodded. "Would you mind going ahead? I-I'll be down soon, I just need to talk to Silver first."
Jim nodded and started down the steps, only to freeze when Henry once again interrupted him.
"Maybe you're upset because you actually see me as a threat," Henry mused, an evil smirk spreading across his face.
Jim tried to stay calm as he turned back around. "What?"
"You two were married very young. Maybe you two overestimated young love. "The honeymoon is over," so to speak. Maybe your relationship isn't what it used to be, and maybe I'm the next best thing."
Tabitha started to step forward. "You son of a - "
Jim quickly marched back up the steps, holding out a hand to stop her before he faced Henry himself. "I'm going to say this one more time: stay away from her, quit pretending like you know us, and get. out."
"See, Hawkins? You sound threatened," Henry antagonized. "If you love Tabitha, you must trust her, and if you trust her, then I'm no real danger to you... right?"
Jim froze, just like the calm before the storm. One more raise of Henry's eyebrows and an antagonistic smirk was all it took for Jim to snap.
Henry stumbled back when Jim shoved him, letting out a shocked laugh. "You really don't want to do that, Hawkins," he warned.
"And you really don't want to test me right now," Jim growled, stepping forward so that he was mere inches away from him.
Henry pushed Jim back harder. "First of all, Tabitha is more than capable of handling herself; she does not need you playing knight in shining armor for her. And secondly, she's an old friend. I'm simply trying to help her."
"I know exactly what you've been trying to do with her – " Another shove from Jim. " - And it's not going to happen."
"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure." Another shove from Henry.
"Well, I am." Jim threw him into the door, pinning him there with his forearm against his throat and lowering his own voice so that Tabitha had to strain to hear him. "I'm not playing games with you. Tabitha and I have enough to worry about without you causing more problems. She's sick of it, I'm sick of it, and you've overstayed your welcome by a long shot. You need to pack up and get out of here. Tonight."
Henry gasped in a deep breath of air when Jim backed away. Jim glared at him for a second, only softening his gaze when he looked at Tabitha. He held his hand out to her, his eyes silently begging her to just take it and leave with him now. As Tabitha stepped forward, Henry suddenly righted himself, took two steps forward, and pushed Jim again. Jim was turned sideways and caught completely off guard and ended up falling down the steps of the porch, landing hard on his back.
"Jim!" Tabitha gasped, rushing down to check him.
Stars swirled around the edge of Jim's vision for a moment. "Ow, shit… No, I'm fine," he mumbled to her, twisting his neck experimentally. "I'm fine."
"Oh, Tabitha, he's alright," Henry chuckled at her in a patronizing way as he descended the stairs.
Tabitha was willing to accept Jim's assurance; she had other problems to deal with. Jim's head was still a bit fuzzy, but he was vaguely aware of Tabitha getting up and walking away, shouting something as she did.
"What the hell was that?" Tabitha yelled at Henry, shoving him herself now. "That was a cheap shot!"
"Well, I wasn't about to let him win," he smirked.
"Win what? This isn't some kind of contest! I don't know what you're playing at, but I'm – "
"Alright, alright – I'm sorry." He reached out to put his hand on her waist. "Let me make it up to you."
She jerked away from him. "Don't you dare touch me! Look, I've tried to be decent to you, but you're crossing boundaries left and right. Where the hell do you get off – "
Her complaints were interrupted when he pulled her forward and roughly tried to kiss her. She fought, managing to turn her head enough so that his lips met her cheek instead. Defeated, his grip lessened just enough for Tabitha to catch him off guard, twisting out of his arms and backing up a couple of steps, shaking her head in disbelief, her mouth hanging open in shock.
In the next second, Jim was standing between them once again, his entire body tensed protectively in front of Tabitha and a glare of hatred focused solely on Henry. "Did you just try to kiss my wife?"
Henry smirked and daringly took a step closer to him, using his slight height advantage to look down at him. "Actually, Hawkins, I believe I did kiss your wife. Perhaps not on the lips, but even so, it seems to have left her speechless."
The words had barely left Henry's mouth before he was suddenly stumbling backwards, finally catching himself on the wall of the Benbow. Jim had thrown the punch so hard and so fast, he barely even realized he'd done it. It wasn't until his knuckles started to ache that it started to sink in, but instead of the disgust some part of him told him he should be feeling for acting out so violently, he felt sickeningly empowered.
"Jim – " Tabitha whispered, tentatively placing a hand on his arm, only to have him yank away and step closer to Henry.
With a disbelieving laugh, Henry steadied himself on his feet, rubbing at his jaw. "Didn't think you had it in you, Hawkins."
"If you think I'm just going to stand here and let you manhandle my wife like that, you've got another thing coming," Jim said fiercely.
"Well, from what I hear, your relationship isn't very stable right now. I can't imagine that intimacy would be an exception, so perhaps Tabitha needs a bit of manhandling in her life."
Jim knew Henry just wanted to get a rise out of him, that he was only trying to antagonize him into a fight… but at the moment, he could not have cared less. All he knew was that he had never wanted to hurt someone as bad as he wanted to hurt Henry.
Tabitha gasped when Jim suddenly stepped forward, grabbing Henry's shirt and throwing him against the wall. "Jim – "
"Tabitha, get back inside." Jim didn't look at her; he kept his eyes focused on Henry's, but when he didn't hear an answer or any movement from Tabitha, he glanced over his shoulder at her. "Tabitha, please. Go inside."
She didn't know whether he was commanding her or begging her, she didn't know what Jim planned to do to Henry, and she didn't know why he so badly needed her to go inside, but she did know this was about to get really ugly really fast. In the blink of an eye, she'd raced up the steps, thrown open the door to the inn, and immediately began her search for the only person she thought could handle this. "Silver!"
"What is it?" Graham inquired, figuring whatever she was excited about had to be infinitely more entertaining than pie.
Tabitha took no notice of him as she rushed past him into the dining room. "Silver! Where is Silver?"
"I'm right here, lass," he chuckled as he placed food down in front of the guests at one of the tables.
"Silver – dad – it's – "
Silver picked up on her fear now and turned his full attention to her. "What? What is it?"
"I-It's Jim, a-and Henry – "
That was all it took for Silver to get a good idea of what was probably happening. He put the rest of the plates down on the table in a less than formal manner and rushed back through the kitchen, Tabitha close at his heels.
"What's going on?" Graham questioned again, more concernedly this time though.
"What t'e devil's goin' on out - " Silver's questioning stopped abruptly as he stepped out onto the porch and saw the brawl for himself. "OY!"
Graham followed close behind. "What the hell...?"
Tabitha couldn't do anything but stand there looking horrified, still in shock over the kiss and Jim's reaction and now the fight…
"Alright now! Break it up!" Silver snapped as he approached the two fighting boys. "That's enough!" His mechanical arm reached out and grabbed Henry by the lapel, pulling him away from Jim. Graham quickly rushed forward and stood in front of Jim, holding his hands out to stop him.
"Stay the hell away from my wife!" Jim spat, wiping his bloody lip on his sleeve.
Henry was still trying to catch his breath, but he managed to sound smug despite that. "Oh, Hawkins... don't be so afraid... of a little competition."
Jim clenched his jaw. "You are not my competition, and I swear if you ever come near her again - "
"That's enough, Jim," Silver snapped.
Graham surveyed his friend anxiously. "Dude, what the hell?"
"He kissed Tabitha!" Jim shouted.
"He what?"
The three of them turned to look at Henry. He let out a nervous laugh, gulping when he felt Silver's grip on his shirt tighten. "It was only a kiss on the cheek."
"That's not what you meant for it to be!" Jim argued. "And you're lucky Tabitha pushed you away, or I – "
"Stop it. Catch yer breath, lad," Silver ordered Jim before turning back to Henry. "What in blue blazes is t'e matter wit' ya! Ya know Tabby's a married lady! Ya can't just – "
Henry held up his hands in surrender. "I meant no harm – "
"Bull shit," Graham snorted, letting his grip on Jim go lax. "You've been waiting to try that since you first saw her."
With Graham's grip relaxed, Jim was able to lunge forward again, and it was only Silver's quick reflexes that kept him from attacking Henry once again. "Graham!" Silver snapped, trying to hold both Jim and Henry away from each other.
"What?" Graham questioned defiantly. "I don't blame Jim for wanting to hit him. The guy's a smug bastard and – " Silver's cyborg eye flashed red as he narrowed his gaze at Graham, who immediately stopped arguing, groaned, and pulled Jim back again, pushing him back a few steps. "Dude, come on. He's not worth it."
"Yeah… maybe he's not," Jim agreed, as he finally quit struggling to break free. "But Tabitha is."
Graham sighed. "I know she is, but right now she's worried sick about you."
Graham nodded towards the porch and Jim turned around to see Tabitha standing at the bottom of the stairs, frozen in shock, one hand on her stomach as if she might be sick. With a guilty sigh, Jim allowed Graham to lead him back to the porch.
Tabitha suddenly rushed forward as he got closer, meeting him at the halfway point. "A-Are… Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," he assured her.
She gently grabbed his hand, running her thumb over his fingers. "Y-You should put some ice on this…" She looked up, her fingertips brushing over his brow as she surveyed his eye. "A-And probably on your eye too." Her fingers slipped down, softly touching the cut on his lip; he winced. "Sorry," she apologized. "I'm sorry. I…"
Their eyes locked on each other's so suddenly that it took them both by surprise. They were suddenly breathless, the words they wanted to say just out of their reach. Tabitha opened her mouth to speak, but Jim silenced her by simply placing his hand against her cheek. He leaned in, faltering for a second before brushing a light kiss against her lips. When he pulled back a moment later, she wasn't moving, just staring at him in some combination of shock mixed with the slightest hint of a silent apology.
Graham quietly cleared his throat. "We really should get your hand taken care of." He placed a hand on Jim's shoulder and steered him into the Benbow.
"She hates me, doesn't she?" Jim muttered as they stepped over the threshold.
Graham jerked to face him. "You can't seriously be asking me that."
"Did you see the way she just looked at me?" Jim's voice was ashamed, quiet and shaky, and it sounded more like he was questioning himself rather than his friend. "All I've done this week is screw things up. First with us arguing and now starting a fist fight with Henry…"
Graham raised an eyebrow skeptically. "He tried to kiss your girl. You might have swung the first punch, but he had it coming. Hell, I'd have hit him if you hadn't."
Jim sighed, quickly finding a spare rag in one of the drawers and meandering over to the icebox to get some ice for his hand.
"Where in the stars did everybody go?" Sarah shouted as she entered the kitchen. "Oh, well at least you two are here. Graham, if you finished the pies, could you start clearing dishes on the empty tables? Jim, go take the laundry off the line. And where has everybody else gone off to?"
"Uh, they're outside. Kind of a long story… and I don't think Jim's going to be able to do the laundry right now," Graham admitted.
Sarah looked confused until she turned and saw Jim, leaning against the counter with the makeshift washcloth-bag of ice on his hand. "Jim! What happened?"
Jim debated making something up, downplaying the whole incident, feigning that he was miraculously able to bend his fingers again… but in the end, he had to tell the truth. "I punched Henry."
Sarah's jaw dropped, but before she could begin to chastise him, Graham was already sticking up for his friend. "Mrs. Hawkins, no disrespect, but Henry did deserve it." Sarah shot him a glare that actually made him flinch. "Er… Yeah, I think I'll just go outside and… yeah."
Sarah waited until he was out of the kitchen to turn her attention back to her son. "Jim, I don't care whether he 'deserved it' or not! You know better!" She was fuming as she crossed the kitchen, pulling the ice away to survey the damage.
Jim sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Ow! Mom – "
"You should know there are better ways to handle your problemes than by fighting," she continued, ignoring her son's complaint. "Punching one of our guests… Jim, you're a grown man, and a captain on top of that! You know you can't go around – "
"He kissed Tabitha."
Sarah halted, her hands freezing mid-examination as she slowly tilted her head back up to look at him. She stared at him, observing the way he was acting; his brow was barely furrowed, the rest of his face blank and emotionless, except for his eyes, which held a distinct sadness when he finally looked up at her again.
"He…" Sarah didn't seem to be able to put her shock into a comprehensive sentence.
"It was only her cheek, but he was trying to kiss her on the lips, she just managed to push him away. And the way he grabbed her and held her like that just - " He stopped rambling and let out a deep, frustrated sigh, running his uninjured hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. Really. I-I know it was a stupid way to try to handle things… I just – "
She held up a hand to stop him, letting out an angry sigh. She composed herself, but just as she opened her mouth to speak, the sound of shouting from outside cut her off. "What now?" she snapped. Jim took a step, planning to go find out what was going on, but Sarah quickly stopped him. "Oh, no. You go sit in the den."
Jim's jaw dropped like a defiant teenagers. "But – "
"Absolutely not. The last thing we need is for you to get involved again. I'm sure Silver can handle it. I'm going to take care of the guests, and you're going to cool off and wait for everyone else to come back inside." Jim opened his mouth in another attempt to argue, but she cut him off. "Now, James."
Tabitha felt like she'd completely lost her mind. Surely this wasn't happening… right? This was some kind of twisted nightmare… But the way her stomach was churning and the cold sweat that had broken out over her skin and the way her heart was racing quickly convinced her it was all real. Lightheaded, she stumbled back and took a seat on the steps, leaning into the banister and closing her eyes. It wasn't until someone laid a hand on her shoulder a moment later that she moved at all, jumping with a slight gasp as she jerked around defensively.
Graham threw his hands up in surprise. "Whoa, it's just me, Tabs. Calm down."
She sighed. "You startled me."
Tabitha considered apologizing for yelling at him earlier, but before she'd decided, he took a seat next to her. "You're alright?"
"What does it matter? You told me I was on my own."
Graham let out a heavy sigh. "Yeah, well… you weren't so scared you were shaking when I said that."
"I'm not – " She stopped short when she realized her entire body was jittery nerves - her leg bouncing up and down, her hands trembling…
Graham wrapped an arm around her and comfortingly rubbed her back. "I don't blame you for being shaken up."
"I just can't believe he did that!" she nearly yelled in frustration. "Who does that? Who goes around trying to pick up married women?"
"Assholes like him," he answered simply. "It's not as far-fetched as you might think. Spacer back on land for the first time in months... You've heard that expression 'men have needs,' and what better way to have them filled than by some woman whose husband isn't appreciative enough of her. It's an old trick." Tabitha shot him a glare of disapproval and he laughed in disbelief. "I'm not condoning him here, I'm just saying it's not all that surprising. Someone who doesn't know you and Jim just sees a married couple arguing. Not to mention you and him already have a history together – "
"It's not a history! He wanted to get me in bed with him – the end. We didn't even kiss or anything."
"Exactly. All the more reason for him to want you now."
Tabitha sighed. She knew he was right – she'd figured it must have been something along those lines – but that only irritated her even more. How could someone still have a hang up on something that happened so long ago? Surely she hadn't been the only girl to reject him… No, just the only girl that had rejected him that he'd gotten a second chance with.
Graham had been watching the animated exchange between Silver and Henry. It looked like a lot of berating on Silver's part, a lot of nervous laughter and apologizing on Henry's. Just as he was growing overly curious and wondering whether to go over there, Henry forced a cordial nod at Silver and headed to the front of the inn. Noticing Henry's overdone, swaggering gait, Graham couldn't help but chuckle. "Hiding a bit of a hurt ego there, don't you – Tabitha?" he cut himself short when she suddenly stood up and began storming over to the men they'd been surveying. "Uh, Tabitha, what - ?"
"I have a few choice words I'd like to say to Henry – AH!"
Graham caught her around the waist. "Oh no you don't." He easily hoisted her up over his shoulder, despite her kicking and screaming.
Tabitha was suddenly very glad she hadn't had the chance to apologize yet. "Graham Marlow Emerson! You bastard! You put me down this instant!"
"No! Listen, I told you this was going to happen, and you didn't take my word for it. I backed off when you asked me to earlier, and this is what happened. I will not let you go out there and make things worse now!"
Tabitha didn't stop fighting until he'd dragged her back inside and put her down, and even then she pushed away from him. "Damn it, Graham! You cannot just drag me around like that! I am not a child!"
"Really? Because you sure as hell have been acting like one!" he shouted back at her. "You haven't made a single responsible decision since Henry got here! I don't care what Jim has said or done to you – he is your husband, and trying to make him jealous is immature and reckless. Stop acting like an idiot, Tabitha. You're a hell of a lot smarter than that."
Tabitha looked like she'd just had the breath knocked out of her. A flash of conflicting emotions passed over her face, but before she could pick one, someone else spoke up for her.
"Don't call her an idiot," Jim said, fixing his glare on Graham.
Both Graham and Tabitha looked up to see Jim standing just inside the door, and Graham scoffed. "Oh, don't start with me again, Hawkins."
Jim ignored him and looked over at Tabitha. "What were you going to say to him?"
"I-I don't know… I just…" Tabitha tried to stay calm, tried to hold her ground, tried to make herself believe that she really had been doing the right thing… but it was all a lie, as the tears that pierced the back of her eyes started to prove. "I-I just wanted to tell him how… in love with you I am, and… a-and that he had no right to try to – "
"You shouldn't have to tell him," Graham suddenly interrupted.
"Shut up! Just shut up! Please!" Tabitha shouted at him, taking both young men by surprise. "I know – okay? I know that! I know I completely screwed everything up, and that I shouldn't have done any of this, and that it's all my fault!" Jim knew the second she stopped that it was only because she was about to cry. Surprisingly though, she didn't stop. "I know… I know this is all my fault."
"No."
Tabitha turned to look at Jim. "What?"
"No," her husband repeated, shaking her head as he quickly walked over to her. "No, it… it wasn't all your fault."
"It was," she insisted. "Graham's right - I shouldn't have paid this much attention to Henry. He never should have the chance to… try something like this."
"I shouldn't have given you a reason to want to be around Henry," Jim replied. "If I hadn't been so… damned stubborn, we could have worked this out and told Henry to back off from the beginning."
Shaking her head slowly, she closed her eyes and refused to look at Jim anymore. With a loud sigh, he put the ice down on the counter and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug.
"What's going on in here – Jim!" Sarah chastised as she stepped into the kitchen, Abigail close at her heels. "I told you to stay in – "
"I'm just talking to Graham and Tabitha," he said calmly.
"Where's John?" Abigail asked worriedly.
Graham nodded towards the back door. "Outside."
Abigail rushed over, just in time to open it as Silver came lumbering up to the porch, mumbling curses under his breath. "John, what – ?" she warily began to question.
"Hold on, Abby," he stopped her as he walked past all of them and into the dining room. The other four didn't move, but it wasn't hard to hear Silver's shout's. "If any of ya are part of Henry Albright's crew, ya need to take yer leave. Yer captain's waitin' fer ya on the ship. Pack up and get out." The room went silent for a moment, until Silver shouted, "Now!" and the sounds of chairs scraping against the floor and silverware clinking against dishes reached them. Silver entered the kitchen again, glancing at everyone and then sighing and sinking down into a chair at the table.
"You really sent him off?" Jim finally spoke up.
Silver sighed, pulling out a handkerchief and rubbing it across his neck and forehead before looking over at Sarah. "Sorry fer t'e loss o' business, Sarah. I'll gladly pay her what ya woulda earned from t'at lot, but I'll be damned before I let a man like t'at come anywhere near Tabby again."
"No! No, that's alright, John." Sarah shook her head, still trying to process everything the last half-hour or so had brought. "From what I've heard, he needed to leave."
Silver gave her a solemn nod of agreement. As he caught sight of Tabitha and Jim, his brow crinkled in concern. "She alright?" he asked Jim, nodding towards the girl in his arms.
Tabitha knew he was asking about her, so she pulled away and turned to look at her father. "I-I'm fine," she sniffled. "I'm… I'm okay."
"Ya don't look okay, Tabby."
Jim watched Tabitha as she nervously glanced around the room, realizing that everyone was waiting on her next move – a move he knew she wasn't going to make. Without thinking twice about it, he slowly wrapped Tabitha in another hug, where she immediately started crying again, just as he'd expected her too. Placing a quick kiss on the top of her head, he looked around at everyone else.
"We're going home."
Jim had thought going home would make things better for Tabitha, but the idea that she'd feel less awkward if she wasn't crying in front of everyone was shot to hell when they walked in the door and he realized that things between them were still… weird. At least the Henry issue was out of the way now, but the main problem had yet to be solved.
They didn't talk. Jim tried - he searched for the words to apologize the entire time they walked home. Tabitha too was debating what to say, where to begin. After several minutes of just standing in the living room, Jim still holding Tabitha in a reassuring embrace, neither had reached any kind of conclusion, and neither had any idea what to do. Jim mumbled something about going to take a shower and left the room. He returned almost a half an hour later, shirtless and still towel-drying his hair, just as Tabitha shut the front door.
"Who was that?" he asked.
"Silver. Henry and his crew are officially gone, he just wanted to let us know," she explained. "And he said we should both take tomorrow off to rest before we leave."
"Oh… Uh, yeah, okay."
There was an awkward silence for a moment, until Tabitha started to walk past Jim and into the kitchen, and he reached out for her arm to stop her. "Did you really mean what you said to Henry?"
"Which part?"
"The part… You said that we could fight all the time and I could try to keep you home from every voyage and you'd still be a thousand times happier with me than with him."
She smiled but looked away. "Do you even need to ask? Of course I meant it."
Jim looked around as he pondered this. That meant that… things weren't as bad as he'd thought. Maybe she wasn't thrilled by the idea of staying here, but… she was still happy with him…
Tabitha slipped out of his grasp and was halfway out of the room when he spoke again.
"What happened to my pillow? And the quilt?"
She glanced back to see him staring at the couch, wondering where his makeshift bed had gone, and smiled. "They're back in our bed... where they belong."
When he jerked around to look at her, she was already gone, the kitchen door swinging back and forth behind her.
When Jim got to their bedroom a few minutes later, Tabitha already had the lights off and was curled up under the covers. Sure enough, the quilt was thrown over the sheets once again, and his pillow was resting on his side of the bed as if it had never been moved in the first place. He slowly climbed under the covers, trying not to shift the bed too much in case Tabitha was already asleep. Since Tabitha was on her side facing away from him, he opted to do the same, rolling onto his right side and facing the wall. It wasn't great, but it was definitely a step up from the couch.
"Did Henry hurt you?"
Jim's eyes blinked back open at Tabitha's question. "What?"
"Did Henry hurt you?" she repeated almost silently. "I-I mean other than your lip and you eye… a-and your hand. Did he…? I-I forgot to ask you sooner."
"Oh, uh… no, not really."
"Oh. Okay... Good."
"Thanks," Jim added a moment later. "For asking."
"Yeah, no problem," Tabitha whispered back.
Silence again. Silence so tense that Tabitha absolutely couldn't take it. Sighing heavily, she pushed herself into a sitting position. "Jim, I - "
As soon as he'd felt the bed shift, he'd started to sit up, and as soon as she started to speak, he kissed her. He couldn't help it - the longing to be near her again had finally reached it's breaking point. This time, he couldn't convince himself not to kiss her like he'd been able to last time. He waited a moment to see if she was going to push him away, preparing himself for the fact that this might lead to more fighting and him ending up back on the couch. Tabitha didn't do any of that though; she wrapped her hands around his neck and let them fall back to the bed together.
It was very early hours of the morning when they moved apart from each other, their breathing deep and their gazes still locked on each other's. They hadn't spoken the whole time. The last attempt at words had been when Tabitha was trying to say... Stars, she didn't even remember anymore. Whatever it was didn't matter; everything had been said without words, as if they'd somehow reached an understanding through a silent conversation of soft caresses and hushed breathing.
Jim was on his side, Tabitha still on her back. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him, so her back was pressed against his chest. Their breathing settled into a slow, matched pace together. Tabitha was the first to drift away, her last thoughts a vague recognition of a soft kiss against the nape of her neck and a light, familiar whisper into her hair.
Considering the late night they'd had, Jim woke surprisingly early the next morning. The light shining through the windows was pale grey, the result of early morning rays and overcast clouds. When he thought about climbing out of bed, he quickly realized he couldn't; Tabitha had one of her arms wrapped across his chest, one leg bent over his thigh, and her body glued against his side. He smiled to himself, kissing her forehead and settling back against the pillow, content to wait until she woke up.
Tabitha woke up slowly to the gentle touch of someone skimming their fingertips up and down her arm. Her eyes eventually blinked open to the sight of Jim staring down at her, his hand still aimlessly trailing across the arm she had wrapped over his chest. He gave her a small half-smile, and she suddenly realized she had no idea where they stood on the decision of whether she'd be going to Ciaran or not. Things seemed to be better, judging solely by how she'd just awoken, but she wasn't sure things were fixed.
"I'm sorry I called you an asshole," she blurted out.
Jim blinked in surprise at the unusual morning greeting, then sighed. "I'm sorry I called you a bitch."
"I'm sorry I made you sleep on the couch."
"I'm sorry for going solar surfing instead of talking through things with you."
"I'm sorry I used Henry to make you jealous."
"I'm sorry I beat him up."
Tabitha stopped, a slight smirk spreading across her lips. "No, you're not."
Jim couldn't help but chuckle. "Fine, I'm not."
She laughed, but her smile quickly faded again. "I'm sorry I let him kiss me."
"You didn't let him kiss you," he argued. "You fought away. If you'd let him kiss you, he would have ended up kissing you on the lips… and I probably would have killed him."
"Jim – " She bit her lip and carefully reached out to push his hair out of his eyes. "Graham was right. I was acting immature and like an idiot and – "
"No, Tabitha, stop." Grabbing the hand that was fingering his hair, he gently squeezed it. "Look – yeah, using Henry to try to piss me off wasn't the best idea… but I shouldn't have…" He sighed. "I shouldn't have let things get that bad. I never should have stormed off that first night – "
"But you only stormed off because I said I didn't need you!"
"Yeah, but… I should have come back. I should have just cooled off and then tried to work things out instead of making things worse by avoiding the subject every day. All I'm saying is that if we'd tried to calmly work through this early on, all that Henry bullshit never would have happened." Tabitha looked like she was considering this, but not very accepting of it. He sighed and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Look, maybe we both did stupid stuff. We made mistakes and acted like idiots, and… it was both our faults."
Tabitha nodded in agreement. "I don't want to fight with you ever again."
"But that would mean no make-up sex ever again."
They tried to keep a straight face, to keep up the serious conversation, but as soon as Jim smirked, Tabitha burst into a fit of laughter and soon they were both laughing.
"I love you," Jim blurted out in the middle of it all.
Tabitha sobered up just a bit, but was still smiling. "I love you too."
"You know, it's only… five o'clock," he said with a glance at the clock. "And we've got the whole day off."
Snuggling up to him and laying her head on his chest, she let out a deep, relaxed sigh. "Let's go back to sleep then."
He chuckled and pulled the covers over them. "Took the words out of my mouth."
The next time Jim woke up, it was to the sound of the shower running. In a half-asleep state, he listened to the sound of the pouring water until it cut off. A few minutes later, the washroom door opened, and he finally opened his eyes to find Tabitha standing beside the bed, dressed and wringing her hair out with a towel.
"So, um… what are doing today?"
Jim took a deep breath and pushed himself up. "Well, ah…" He stretched slowly and stood up, giving her a half-hearted smile. "I guess we should start packing."
Tabitha's jaw dropped. She stood there gawking at him, watching him get out of bed and walk over to their dresser to find clothes to put on. "We?" she finally managed to get out. "W-We should start packing?"
Jim let out a light chuckle as he grabbed a stack of clothes and headed to the washroom. "Well, you want to come, don't you?"
He shut the door behind him, leaving Tabitha shocked and confused. Had he really changed his mind just like that? And if so, why? What had changed? After a minute or two of trying to figure out what in the stars Jim was thinking now, she gave up and walked into the washroom. "What are you doing?"
"Uh…" Jim answered from behind the shower curtain. "Well, right now I'm bathing – "
"I mean about this trip. What… What made you change your mind? Are you just not worried about my safety anymore?"
"What kind of question is that? You know I am."
"Right, because you always are," she agreed. "So why the sudden change of mind?"
Jim hesitated. "Because you really want to go, and – "
"I've really wanted to go all along! That hasn't changed."
"Well, then, because… you said I don't get to let you do things."
"What about all that talk about you being the captain, and you being able to make me stay home?"
"I still could."
"Then why aren't you?"
Tabitha waited impatiently for an answer, but Jim didn't give one. After a minute, the shower cut off, leaving the room in dead silence. Jim reached out for the towel and carefully stepped out of the tub, catching sight of Tabitha's blank look, like she didn't know what to think of any of this. Lowering his head so he could stare at the towel instead of her, he finally explained. "I… I didn't want to force you to do something you don't want to do."
Tabitha stared at him… and when he refused to look up again after a few seconds, she turned and left. Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wondering if he'd just reignited the flames of their fight. When he dressed and left the washroom a moment later, he found two suitcases, open and empty on the bed, but no Tabitha. "Tabitha?" he called out as he turned to go look for her.
She appeared suddenly in the doorway leading to the kitchen. "You're not telling me something."
That was not the sort of response Jim had expected. "What would I not be telling you?" he calmly questioned.
"I don't know…" She slowly shook her head, surveying him for an answer of some kind. "But there's something."
"How do you know that?" Jim asked, a bit more impatiently than he'd meant to sound.
"I can just tell, Jim! You're acting… uncomfortable. And you just suddenly changed your mind like that? That wouldn't happen for no reason."
"Look, just – " He ran his fingers through his hair again. "Do you want to go to Ciaran or not?"
"No, that's what I'm asking you, Jim. We know what I want, and I thought you knew what you wanted, but then you just… completely change your mind like this, and I…" Tabitha walked aimlessly to the other side of the room. "I was going to try to work out a compromise with you, but if we agree then…" She jerked back around. "What am I missing?"
"Nothing! You're over-thinking it. I… I changed my mind because I got tired of fighting with you, and… and we're a team, like you said." He feigned a smile and started to get dressed. "You deserve to go."
After a tensely silent minute or so, Tabitha shook her head again and sank down onto the edge of the bed. "I don't get it…" she whispered to herself. "I was thinking I might agree to stay home, and then you – "
"You were?" Jim nearly shouted.
"Yes!" she yelled back, turning to look at him. "Because I could tell how worried you were about me, and… after that whole Henry fiasco, I thought I owed it to you… I put you through enough with that and – " When Jim lets out a frustrated sigh, she glares at him and jumps back to her feet. "What is it? Why won't you just tell me what the problem is?"
"Tabitha, just drop it, okay?" he demanded. "No, I don't really want you to go to Ciaran – I'd rather you stay here – "
"Then why did you just say I could come?"
"I told you already!" Jim shouted, losing what little patience he had. "Because I didn't want to force you! I wanted you to stay because you understood – "
That halted statement took Tabitha by surprise. "Understood what?"
"Nothing," he unconvincingly answered. "Forget it."
"Why do you keep doing this? Why are you cutting me out?"
"Maybe because I don't want to talk about it!" Jim knew by the breathless silent that followed that he'd said something too harsh, and Tabitha had taken it too personally.
"Even with me?"
The quiet shaky sound of her voice nearly broke his heart. Looking down, he realized he'd been twisting the towel in and out of knots. "Especially with you," he mumbled back. He turned around just in time to see her wipe the edge of her sleeve over her eyes.
In the next second, Tabitha was suddenly in Jim's arms, and as much as a part of her wanted to fight away, most of her was too hurt and confused to do anything but breakdown.
Silently cursing himself when she started to really cry, he held her even tighter. "Please don't cry – you just misunderstood what I meant."
"No, I didn't!" she snapped, pulling out of his embrace and storming off again. "Something's wrong and you don't want to tell me about it. Fine."
"No – " Jim rushed after her, grabbing her arm and pulling her around so they were face to face again. "Stop it. I am not about to fight with you again, or still, or whatever the hell this is."
"Then tell me the truth, Jim!"
Jim locked his jaw, resisting the urge to start yelling again. "The truth is I want you to stay here."
"Why?"
"Because I know you'll be safe here."
Tabitha gritted her teeth. "You know that's not what I'm trying to get at. Tell me what's really wrong."
They stared at each other, neither willing to give in.
"I can't," Jim eventually stated before letting her go and storming over to the closet to start grabbing clothes to pack.
"Why not?" Tabitha demanded.
"I-I just can't," he vaguely repeated.
"Why?"
"Just drop it, okay?"
"No! You're my husband, and something is obviously wrong, and I'm worried, and I… I-I want to help."
Jim never felt so guilty in all his life – there just really was no good way to handle this, was there? "You can help me by staying home."
"I will if you tell me the real, whole reason why you need me too."
Jim rubbed the back of his neck, then looked back at his suitcase. Mindlessly grabbing the clothes he'd pulled out and folding the haphazardly, he finally tried to explain. "Because… I…"
"Because what?" she encouraged, taking a step closer.
"I don't…"
"What? Did Silver tell you something else?"
"No!"
"Then what's the problem?"
When Jim looked up, she was right beside him, staring him down. "The problem is… I don't know…"
"You don't know what the problem is?"
"No! I-I do!"
"Then what is it?"
"I-I can't…"
"Can't what?"
Losing his temper, Jim threw the final shirt into the suitcase and tightly grabbed Tabitha's arms at her sides. "I can't lose you again!"
Tabitha looked like she'd been struck a blow. "Jim…"
Letting her go and mumbling a quiet "Damn it…" under his breath, he walked away and stared out the window.
It took Tabitha almost a full minute to snap out of it and figure out something to say. "Jim, what... what are you talking about?"
He sighed. "That nightmare I had." That was all he said at first, wondering if Tabitha would question him further... but when she didn't after a moment, he continued. "It was like the alley, back on Lacuna, except I was there this time. I was there, and I could... see it all happening, a-and I wanted to help. I wanted to stop him, and save you... b-but I... I-I just couldn't. I don't know why. I just couldn't do it. I-I just had to stand there and watch, and..." He gulped. "And this time you didn't just end up hurt... you ended up..." He crossed his arms and stared at the floor. "I thought I'd lost you again..."
Tabitha hesitated, still trying to figure out exactly what the problem was. "But... that was just a dream. I mean, I-I understand why you're shaken up about it, but... when it happened in real life - "
"When it happened in real life, I wasn't there to protect you," he interrupted her. "And I felt guilty because something happened to you, something I thought I could have prevented if I'd been there."
He watched the recognition shine across her face. "But in the dream, you were there... and I still ended up hurt." Jim didn't say she was right, but the way he fidgeted uncomfortably and looked out the window again made it clear she'd hit the nail on the head. "Jim... if you'd been there when it really happened, that doesn't mean I would have made it out completely uninjured."
Jim pounded his fist against the wall in frustration. "I know that! I realized that from the start! But I'd... I'd never thought that if I was there you still could have been injured that badly, or ended up dead or something like that! I'd always thought that if I was around to protect you, then you'd come to the least amount of harm. That dream just..." He shook his head and set to pacing the floor.
Tabitha stood back and watched him, still looking shocked by the confession. "Why... Why didn't you just tell me this?"
"Because I didn't like admitting that the one thing I always try to do might be something I can't do!" he blurted out. "I promised to always keep you safe – hell, it was a part of my vows when we got married - and now I finally realize that maybe I can't do it? It's just…" He sighed to himself and stopped pacing, closing his eyes and shaking his head in aggravation before letting out a slow sigh. "I'm sorry, Tabitha. I've just always felt like it was my job, and I knew that if anything happened, I would try to protect you... and I'd just always believed that if I'd been with you the times you'd been hurt, then you wouldn't have been. It never crossed my mind that maybe me being there wouldn't even matter, that maybe... I wouldn't make any difference at all."
"Of course it would make a difference," she whispered sympathetically. "You always make a difference... If nothing else, I feel safer around you."
"Which is exactly why I didn't want to tell you all this. I didn't want you to start doubting that I could. I want you to feel safe with me."
Tabitha got it - it was a pride thing. He'd never considered there would be a time he wouldn't be able to keep her safe, and when he finally did, he didn't want to admit it to her. It made sense. Tabitha had always known how protective Jim got about her... was it any surprise that he wouldn't want to admit he was losing confidence in himself?
Before she could say anything to him, he sighed and walked over to her, grabbing her hands in his. "I'm so sorry, Tabitha. I never meant for things to get so out of hand. I thought if I could just get you to stay, then you'd never find out that I... wasn't so sure anymore."
She looked down at their hands. "When you said you didn't want to protect me... I thought you meant it was too much work. I-I had no idea it was because you weren't sure you could."
"I know, I know - I shouldn't have... I just..." Unable to complete a full sentence, he closed his eyes so he didn't have to see her looking at him. "This is just a really hard thing for me to admit..."
With his eyes shut, he had no warning for Tabitha flinging her arms around him, and he stumbled back into the wall before regaining his balance and returning the hug as tightly as he possibly could. "I'm sorry," he apologized once again. "I want you to come. I want to be able to believe that you'd be safe. I want to believe that I could protect you… but I love you too much to risk it." He had no idea how long they stayed like that, and he honestly didn't care. He was ready to stay like that for the rest of the night if he could when Tabitha finally spoke up, so quietly he almost thought he'd imagined it.
"I'll stay." Tabitha felt Jim tense a bit in surprise before he slowly pulled back to look at her. He didn't say a word, but the hopeful look he head said it all. She gave him a shaky smile and nodded. "I will… but Jim? Just so you know, y-you've already saved me, more times than you realize. A-And I'm not just talking about times like when you took that shot for me on Lacuna, o-or forked over the map on Treasure Planet because Silver threatened to shoot me… Do you have any idea where I'd be now if you hadn't befriended me on the voyage to Flint's Trove? I don't. I have no idea. If you hadn't offered to let me stay with you, if we hadn't started dating, if you hadn't been there with me at the academy every rocky step of the way, if you hadn't trusted me and cared about me enough to agree to go to Lacuna with me… All you've ever done is save me…" The way Jim looked so awestruck at what she was saying – as if he had no idea he'd ever done any of these things for her – made her let out an awkward laugh through the tears that had suddenly welled up in her eyes. "So now, in a way, I guess I get to save you. I-I know how heartbroken you were when I was hurt on Lacuna, but I had no idea you still felt so bad about it. I-I think it was more traumatizing for you than it was for me – I just got hurt, but you… y-you had to consider the possibility that I… I might not have been in your life anymore - A-And now that you've had that dream, and to see you so… adamant about something like this… I can't. I-I can't risk putting you through another situation like that, not when there was some way for me to prevent it. So I'm going to stay, a-and you'll know I'm safe… and I'll pray that you are too."
When he notices she's really starting to cry, he starts to pull her back into his arms, but she holds up a hand to stop him.
"No, wait – " She rubs her eyes quickly and looks back up at him. "I… I have a surprise for you, I guess."
Well, that certainly wasn't what Jim expected to hear her say. "A surprise? For what?" he asked as he watched her walk over to the dresser and reach into the back of one of her drawers.
"Well, it… it was supposed to be a Christmas present, but… since you won't be here…" She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. Mustering up as convincing a grin as she could, she extracts a small box from beneath her clothes and turns around to hand it to Jim. "Here."
Jim glanced at the small, gift-wrapped package, then glanced back at her, before finally untying the golden ribbon and pulling off the emerald green paper. His brow furrowed as he extracted a few folded pieces of paper and began to unfold them, recognizing them as blueprints of their ship.
"I-I upgraded the engine and the thrusters," she explained. "It can travel almost twice as fast now… It was kind of a splurge, but I thought it would be worth it in the long run, especially for the Dubois's voyage and… well, now you can get home twice as quickly…"
He tore his gaze away from the detailed blueprints and looked up to see her gaze focused on the ground between them. Without hesitation, Jim had placed the box on the bed and wrapped Tabitha in a firm embrace. Her arms laced around his neck tightly as she sobbed into his shoulder.
"Please be careful..." she begged. "I just want you to be safe."
"I will," he gently assured her. "I promise I will."
Tabitha's grip tightened and her voice turned into a whisper... "Come home to me, James. You have to promise to come home to me."
"Always, Tabitha." He held her even tighter, intent on keeping her as close as possible for as long as possible, pressing her face into her hair before whispering, "Always and forever."
When the day of departure finally arrived the next morning, Tabitha's eyes blinked open to the dim, gray lighting of a cloudy sunrise. For half a moment, she blamed her downcast emotions on the weather, but only until she remembered what today was.
The gentle sound of Jim's breathing made her turn to look at him. He was still fast asleep. She smiled to herself, gulping back tears as she reached out to push his hair out of his face. The backs of her fingers softly brushed against his stubbly cheek before her hand moved down to his arm, gently brushing up and down it, memorizing every muscle and vein. She did the same to his chest, focusing especially on the scar he had left from the shot he'd taken for her back on Lacuna. She was focusing so hard on making mental notes on every detail of him that she didn't notice he was awake until he reached out and grabbed her hand. She started slightly, but quickly settled when his other hand lightly brushed her leg, slowly working his way up from her knee, across her thigh, over her curves, past her shoulder, until he was gently cupping her face. They were just as close as they were when they'd fallen asleep the night before, but this wasn't good enough for Jim. He pulled her against him and she bundled up against his chest to defeat the morning chill.
"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" she asked quietly.
Jim slowly shook his head. "It's early. I've got time."
Tabitha bit her lip, but Jim heard the choked sob that escaped her anyway. He tightened his arms around her, using one to gently pet her hair in an attempt to reassure her. "I'll be fine, Tabitha. I promise."
They stayed like that until the clock eventually chimed 5:30 a.m. Jim kissed Tabitha's forehead and started to move away, but she stopped him with a hand against his chest and a look that silently begged him to stay a little longer. He sighed and repositioned himself next to her yet again, remaining that way for another half an hour.
They didn't speak. Not while they were getting ready, not as they held hands on the walk up to the Benbow, not while they ate breakfast (or rather stared at the food, since neither had much of an appetite). None of the adults commented on the young couples pensive silence, though they all clearly noticed it. In fact, it wasn't until the family gathered on the porch of the inn to say goodbye to Jim and Silver that anyone said much of anything.
"Bye, mom," Jim said as he hugged his mother.
Sarah hugged him back tightly. "Goodbye, Jim. Stay safe."
Tabitha tentatively approached Graham. "Do you still hate me?"
Graham waited until Jim walked over and stood next to her before finally sighing and pulling Tabitha into a friendly hug. "No. I don't hate either of you. But can we all agree that I know what I'm talking about and people should listen to me from now on?"
"You know what you're talking about sometimes," Jim taunted, reaching out for a handshake and pulling Graham into a half-embrace.
Meanwhile, Silver and Tabitha exchanged their own hugs. "Bye, Tabby."
"Goodbye, dad." Tabitha nearly choked on the word.
He let out a short chuckle. "Don't worry 'bout us, lass. We'll be fine."
Tabitha stared at him for a moment before finally turning back to Jim. For a minute, all they did was stare at each other. Then Jim suddenly dropped the bag he had over his shoulder and rushed the couple of steps toward her, grabbing her and holding her like he never would again.
"I promise I'll be back soon," he whispered just loud enough for her to hear.
"I love you, Jim."
Jim pulled back and looked at her, overwrought with a sudden concern that coursed through him... No, he had to come back. He couldn't bear to think otherwise. "I love you, too... Tabitha."
They stepped back slightly, but Jim's hand only fell to hers, intertwining with it for a moment. It seemed like much to short of a time before Silver clapped a hand on Jim's shoulder and handed him the satchel he'd dropped. Jim stared at the bag in his hand for a moment, then looked back up at Tabitha.
"I don't want to go," he blurted out.
"What?" Sarah gasped.
"Jimbo!" Silver said.
Tabitha was the only one who didn't react at all to this statement. She just kept staring at him.
"I don't want to," Jim repeated. "Look, you guys can go without me. Graham, you can be captain, and the rest of you - "
Tabitha shook her head. "Jim, you can't - "
"No! I know it's bad timing, but I just - "
"Jim, stop it," she whispered, taking a step closer to him. "Commodore Aldamae already filled out the paperwork for Silver and you're listed as the captain. If something happens and you aren't on the ship, then everyone's going to be in a lot of trouble."
"Then we'll do it over and postpone the trip a few more days!"
She gave him a sad sort of smile as she reached out to cup his face in her hands. "After everything we went through to plan this trip, I really don't think we should cancel it now. It's something we need to do. Besides, Abigail was right - we do need the practice for when we have a baby." She took a deep breath and nodded, to reassure them both. "Everything's going to be fine. I'll stay here and help Sarah at the inn, and you can go see if Vanessa needs any help on Ciaran. This is just one of those things we've got to get through. We're not going to enjoy it, but we'll be stronger because of it."
Jim chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment before finally releasing a long slow breath. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Tabitha's lips for a moment, then placed his forehead against hers. "I love you."
"I love you, too," she said quietly. "We're going to be fine."
"I know," he agreed before giving her one final, long, goodbye kiss.
Abigail immediately stepped forward and wrapped her arm around Tabitha's shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly. "Be careful, both of you."
Commodore Aldamae, who was already on the ship, shouted for them to come down. The men nodded and turned to leave. As Jim walked the gravel walkway down to the dock, he debated whether to turn around... but he couldn't. He knew if he did now, he'd never be able to leave her. Once on the ship though, he did turn around and was able to see Tabitha still standing there, leaned against one of the beams located around the edge of the Benbow's front porch. With one last silent prayer, he turned around and began shouting out the orders.
Tabitha watched and waited - as they walked away, as they boarded the ship, as they sailed off into the foggy sky...
"Tabitha?"
She turned to see her mother standing in the doorway. Tabitha blinked as if she'd just been awoken from a dream and laughed lightly. "How long have I been out here?"
"A couple of hours," Abigail smiled. "Would you like to come in for some food? I noticed you didn't eat much this morning."
Tabitha nodded and, sparing one more glance to the now empty horizon, followed Abigail inside.
Did you guys even remember the plot and what's been going on? Oh my gosh, guys, I am so sorry for making you wait forever. I don't know how to tell you how sorry. I honestly have no excuse except that I was just never satisfied with this chapter. Even now, there are some parts I'm not totally happy with... but it was finished, and I really couldn't justify making you guys wait any longer.
If any of you actually read/review this, I will just... I will love you forever. You guys are die hard fans, and I don't deserve you.
-Emily
+Responses to Reviews+
CMR Rosa: Thanks! You know, I've had a lot of requests for things like that, so I definitely think a chapter involving Jim telling Tabitha about his life before her would be interesting! I'll add it in somewhere! :)
23jk: Haha Thanks! Hope you didn't forget about it this time either! This chapter was even longer than the last one, so I hope you liked it! Oh, and happy belated birthday by the way! I thought I was going to have this done by then, and I was going to post it as a birthday surprise... but that didn't happen. That's why I didn't tell you sooner. Thanks! Glad to see people interested in the lemons!
iceprincessrules: Thanks! Writers block is hell. I hate it so much. Glad you liked the last chapter, and hopefully this one too! :)
NeverTooLate03: OH MY GOSH LOOK. 8 MONTHS LATER - I FINALLY UPDATED. I just fail so hard at this nowadays. Haha I'm glad you don't think I'm a despicable being; hopefully that hasn't changed with me making you wait forever and a day again. Glad to see adding that guy from the honeymoon chapter stumped a couple of people! I was wondering if anyone would remember that. Ah, don't feel bad about forgetting Morph. I forgot B.E.N. in this chapter. _ Thank you for the support as always, Fellow Fangirl! :D
anon: Glad you liked it! Haha Lemons are a-go, so don't worry! OD-ing on romance would be a nice way to go, I think! Thanks for your support!
Icecreampopstar: I'm so glad you thought the wait was worth it - hopefully it was for this chapter too! Yes, lemons are quite juicy, especially with brownies. ;D Well, there was a lot of Jim and Silver being overprotective here, so I hope you enjoyed it! Love you back! :D
StarSpinner1293: I'm so glad everyone likes "Fearless" - I keep having people tell me not to rewrite it. It's more just for my own personal satisfaction, because I know I could make it so much better now. Well, you got your answer - Tabitha's staying home, and yes she will be worried sick about Jim. :/ But all for good reasons in the end! :) Lemons coming up in the next couple of chapters, and I'm so glad you think I write them well! :D Lol Yeah no lemons in the family story. XD Good to know I'd have people on my side if any readers ever tried to pull a mutiny on my story, and don't apologize for long reviews! I love them, and I'm flattered!
Tsukasa-kun: Thank you so much! Yes, life does tend to get in the way of my writing of fanfiction quite often. I'm glad you thought Jim was funny, I really wanted him to be! And you shall find out soon whether Tabitha's wishes for a baby will come true... ;D
smile: Thank you! I'm glad you like it!
EventHorizon6: Wow, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked the fluffiness of the last chapter - hopefully it made up for the sever lack of it in this one! Aw, I'm glad you like the fluff and the lemons (and don't even worry - I blush the entire time I'm writing lemons xD).
Kristy: Definitely more fluff and lemons to come! :) I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and you were right - Tabitha was certainly not too happy about Jim wanting her to stay home. Yeah, I miss Cason and Rylee and Jordan too... I'll try to throw them back in there somewhere. Thank you so much for the reviews and support! :D
Crystal-Wolf-Guardian-967: Thanks! Sorry about the wait, but I hope you liked this chapter too! :)
SweetAngel183: Everybody wants some lemons! XD Don't worry - you shall have lemons in the next couple of chapters. ;D Ah, well, surprisingly he did manage to keep her from going! Sneaking onto the boat does sound like something Tabitha would do though. XD Thanks for the review!
Zutarafan14: Thanks! :)
R. S. Willow: Thanks! I know - that would be such an awkward encounter to have with an employer. I'm glad it made you laugh, too! :D
emberlies: Oh my gosh, Hi there new fan! Did you just read everything, beginning to end? Wow, thank you very much! Depth and realism is something I definitely want to have with all the characters, so I am SO glad that's coming across! Thank you so so much, and sorry about the wait, but I hope you liked this chapter too!
