"Life is always a tightrope or a feather bed. Give me the tightrope." ~Edith Wharton
Tightrope
by juliagulia6
Rita grinned when she saw her best girlfriend, auburn curls and pale blue blazer shimmering in the sunset. Society's parking lot was ablaze in a dusky glow, and Rita quickly jumped out of her car to throw her arms around the sparkling vision before her. "I've missed you!"
"Oh, Bonita," Diana sighed, fiercely returning Rita's hug. "This is so much better than the phone!"
"I'm so glad you are staying at my place tonight. We have lots of catching up to do."
"Sounds juicy."
"Ugh, you have no idea."
Diana gave her a puzzled look as they made their way to the bar. They grabbed their drinks and landed an open table.
Chris wasn't there yet, which brought Rita a sense of relief. "While we have a second alone, can I run something by you?"
"Of course, what's up?"
Rita paused, feeling a twinge of guilt for voicing concerns that may or may not have validity. However, she had been silently driving herself crazy over the past few months, and seeing Diana in person gave her the courage to share her fears. "Something's going on with Chris, no, with me and Chris." She shook her head at her honest reflection. "I don't know. Maybe it's all in my head-"
Diana frowned at her friend's words. She sensed that Chris and Rita were off-balance lately, even across the miles. She had picked up on some subtleties in conversations with each of them; neither had been very expressive about the other when they usually were the heart of each other's stories. Listening to Rita say it aloud made her sad and worried. "Rita, hey… talk to me. What's going on?"
Rita took a sip of wine, contemplating where to start. "We've been fighting...a lot. Snapping at each other over cases, yesterday he accused me of being in a mood because of Eric- I don't know- I've never felt like our friendship was in danger before, and now, I just…" She trailed off, afraid to offer any more insight. She wasn't ready to tell her about the night they had dinner at her apartment and read that romance novel together. How that goodbye kiss on the cheek, given to her dozens of times before, now felt electrified and full of double meaning. She'd been shaky and confused ever since.
Diana grabbed Rita's hand, a warm showing of solidarity. "What do you need from me?"
"Keep an eye on him tonight. I'm going to distance myself a bit, maybe mingle with other people for a change. Let me know if you notice anything out of the ordinary. We'll regroup with girl talk at my place." She gave her a wink and patted her hand.
"You got it. Speaking of which, look who just walked in." Upon Chris' entrance, Diana watched Rita visibly tense up. She had never seen her this rattled.
"Dee!" Chris practically lunged at her as he hugged her tightly. "You look stunning, as always."
"Oh, I've missed you and your flirtatious self."
"Who, me?" He gave her an innocent grin as he pecked her cheek.
Rita smiled through pursed lips, and Diana could feel the tension in her steely glare. She had never seen that look from her before and was having trouble deciphering the expression. Jealousy? No way, not towards her and Chris and their commonplace banter. Right?
"Hey, Rita." Chris nodded in her direction.
"Chris." Rita acknowledged, handing him the beer she ordered for him.
Diana eyed this exchange with utmost curiosity, her radar already up. No hug, no outward signs of affection; something was obviously not right between the pair. She couldn't resist saying the first thought in her mind. "What, no 'Sams' tonight? Why so formal?"
Rita was about to open her mouth to say something she shouldn't when her eyes followed Chris' towards the door. "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me."
Chris' head jerked back towards her, and he and Diana both exclaimed a surprised "What?"
Rita nodded towards the door. "Did you tell her we were going to be here tonight?"
"Who?" Diana stretched her neck to peer over the crowd.
Chris looked at the doorway again and then back at Rita. "No." There was venom in his tone, seemingly pissed that Rita would insinuate that anything was going on between him and Cynthia Rush. "And, even if I did, is there a problem?"
"Nope. It's just that you know how I feel about her, and I can't believe you would invite her here when we are catching up with Diana tonight."
"I DIDN'T invite her here." A few heads turned at Chris' seething voice. He shook his head and took a long swig of beer.
Diana interrupted with a mixture of shock and horror on her face. "What the hell is going on with you two?"
Neither friend could answer because at that moment, Cynthia appeared at their table. "Chris! What a coincidence to run into you here." She ignored Diana and Rita as she placed her hand over his, staking her claim.
"Ms. Rush. It's a surprise to see you." He shot Rita a look in his recitation.
"Please, it's Cynthia. I think we are beyond 'Ms. Rush', don't you?"
Rita rolled her eyes as she gulped the wine in her glass. "I'm grabbing another drink. Want anything, Diana?"
"I'll come with you." When they got to the bar, Diana pounced. "Spill it."
"I can't stand watching a vulture circle its meal."
Diana eyed Cynthia. "That bad, huh?"
"Who knows. Chris has been sleeping with half of Palm Beach, so why not?"
"Ouch! Down, girl."
"Not that I care."
"Yeah, you do."
"This bitch is purposely acting like this to piss me off."
"It's working." Rita shot her a look, but Diana continued, an idea brewing in her mind. "You know, two can play at this game."
Rita scoffed at what she interpreted as an insinuation. "I'm not going over to flirt with Chris."
"I didn't say you." Diana gave her pal a sly look. "Maybe it's time I reverse the Lorenzo charm and give him a taste of his own medicine. Let Ms. Rush know that she's made it to the big leagues."
Rita looked at her, mouth agape and eyes wide. "That would be amazing. Do it!"
Before Diana returned to their table, she wanted to make sure Rita was okay with her plan. "Are we good?"
Rita frowned. "Of course we are. Why wouldn't we be?"
"I mean, you're okay with me flirting with Chris?"
"Why are you asking me this? Go! Flirt! Make her run away so I can enjoy the rest of my night."
Diana giggled. "You got it." With that, Diana grabbed her beer and walked back to the table. Rita stayed at the bar, with a ringside seat to the event of the century.
Diana inspected the situation as she approached Chris and Cynthia. Luckily, Chris seemed amused but disinterested in Cynthia's wild attempts at flirtation. Diana smirked. Time to have some fun. She sauntered over to Chris and slinked her arm under his jacket and around his waist. Chris didn't even react, as this could have been an ordinary day in their world. He absentmindedly wrapped an arm around her as Cynthia droned on about the Keating investigation. Cynthia paused and visibly frowned as she saw this display in action, and Diana internally cheered at how easy this was going to be. Chris' natural, affectionate, outwardly friendly gestures were fitting perfectly into her plan. Cynthia didn't need to know the innocence behind his maneuvers.
"Dr. Roth, long time no see." Cynthia glared. "I didn't know you were friends with Chris."
Diana tossed her head back, her laughter a mix of flirty and feral. "He's my best friend. Well, aside from Rita, of course." She couldn't resist adding Rita's name to the mix to remind them both of who the real queen was at Society tonight. She accentuated her words by kissing Chris on the cheek and nuzzling his neck while running her fingers through his hair.
Chris froze in place but didn't push her away. She silently hoped that he figured out the joke, or else she'd have to rein it in before Chris misinterpreted her gestures. His eyes darted to hers, and she could see the playful fire dancing behind intense sapphires. He was onto her, and he wasn't going to let her off easily.
Cynthia, seemingly oblivious to the looks they were giving each other, tried to intercept once again. "Well, if you don't mind, Chris and I were involved in a private conversation."
"Oh, I mind. Didn't Chris tell you that he's here with me tonight?" She ran her fingers down his back, digging her nails into his spine, her silent attack for whatever he was doing to upset Rita and make her question their friendship. Sharp planes tensed under her touch, and she noticed his jaw trembling as he tried to keep his composure. Raucous laughter was just beneath the surface, and Diana stifled a giggle.
"I thought you said you were just friends."
"Well, you know what they say. Best friends make the best lovers."
It took everything in her not to laugh out loud, as Chris' eyes narrowed and he slowly shook his head, lips turned in a mischievous smile. At this point, he glanced over at the bar and saw Rita taking in this whole scene, eyes alight with amusement.
"Well," Cynthia replied, "I guess we'll pick this up tomorrow, Chris. Have a nice visit with your friend." With that, she stared Diana down before sauntering away.
Chris kept his arm tight around Diana as she tried to squirm away. "Not so fast, troublemaker. That was a nice trick."
"Oh, you think so? Please tell me you don't like her- she's a shark!"
"Not gonna lie, I kind of liked being treated like a piece of meat for a minute there. My fantasy about you almost came true."
"I'll bet."
Rita approached the table, watching her two best friends share a fun, private moment. She wasn't sure why she felt so odd about them tonight, but she was thrilled that Diana's plan worked. Her hatred for Cynthia Rush was palpable, and there was no way she could fake niceties for the greater good. Feigning innocence, she asked, "Gee, where is Cynthia going?"
"Very funny. Did you put Dee up to this?"
"Up to what?" Both women answered simultaneously and burst into laughter.
That was enough to change the mood, and the trio resumed sharing memories and catching up on their lives.
More of their friends had arrived over the next hour, a great selection of music was blaring through the jukebox, and everything settled back into familiar rhythms. Rita was engrossed in a conversation with Taylor and Keisha, and once Cynthia left to find other prey to pounce on after Diana's little scene, Chris had been his usual charming self. However, Diana still sensed the tense undercurrent at the table. While Chris and Rita had been together all night, they barely said two words directly to one another. She also noticed that Chris had grown exceptionally quiet as the night wore on. He was smiling and laughing at all the right times and appeared involved in their conversations, yet he was toying with his beer bottle and glancing at his partner when she wasn't looking.
It was at this moment that Derek appeared at the table. He patted Chris on the back before pulling up a chair next to Rita. It was then that she saw it, the flash of something in Chris' eyes. It was the same expression Rita had displayed earlier. What was it? Anger? Jealousy? She looked over at Derek and Rita. No overly flirtatious conversation, just two cops reminiscing about the old days. And why would that matter, anyway?
She sat back, took a sip of beer, and studied Chris as he studied Rita. Paul McCartney's voice melodically permeated the room, singing about the amazement and fear of falling in love. Perfect lyrics at the perfect time, as if fate whispered into Diana's ear. Her head snapped at the realization she just made. Holy shit. It hit her like a lightning bolt: That's it! Chris is in love with Rita. And she has no clue.
"Dance with me." Diana didn't know what she was thinking, but she grabbed Chris' hand before he could protest and dragged him from the table.
"Dee, what the- hey!" His protests were in vain, and he was only half-heartedly complaining. Once Diana got him on the makeshift dance floor, she pounced.
"You're quiet tonight."
"Am I?"
Taylor and Keisha catcalled the duo, laying claims on who got the next dance with Lorenzo. Chris seemed relieved by this distraction, but Diana wasn't going to let up. "Care to talk about it?"
Chris didn't say anything. Instead, he playfully avoided conversation by twirling her unexpectedly. She laughed and caught a glimpse of Rita in the process. They didn't make eye contact, but Rita took notice of their dance. Was that jealousy on her face, again? Oh. My. God. These two were finally in love. Diana squealed with glee, veiled under the surprise of the twirl. They resumed a playful dance.
"You know what I think?"
Chris searched her eyes. "What?"
Diana hesitated. She didn't want to say too much; this was something Chris and Rita still needed to navigate together. Instead, she tried the subtle approach. "I think you're dancing with the wrong person. You know, to this particular song." She accentuated her point by turning to look at Rita. Chris followed her eyes and then looked away swiftly. He didn't admit anything but didn't deny anything either.
"Chris, you don't have to say a word to me. I know you too well. You look…"
"Confused?"
"No. I don't think you're confused at all. I think you are the surest you have ever been in your life. You look petrified."
Chris sighed. "She's everything to me. I don't want to ruin our friendship."
"Dare I say that your friendship is looking a little rocky right now anyway? Chris, you need to talk to her."
"I know. I just…"
"You owe this to her. You've been friends for too long. Best friends. You could cut the tension in here with a knife tonight."
"I need more time, Dee. I need to figure out what this is."
"You know what this is. What are you afraid of?"
"That I'm going to tell her, and she's going to run; that I'm going to ruin the most important relationship of my life. I can't lose her, Dee."
"You're not going to lose her. Do you know how much you mean to her?" Diana wanted to say so much more but knew she had to tread carefully. "Listen, if time is what you need, time is what you need. Can I make a suggestion, though?"
He gave her a small smile. "Of course."
"You need to close the distance a bit. She's still your best friend, right? Not a leper?"
He winced. "That noticeable, huh?"
"Treat her like you've always treated her. She's yours in so many ways, Chris. Don't forget that. Don't lose what you already have in the meantime."
Chris gave her arms a gentle squeeze. "Thanks, Diana."
Diana blushed. Calling her by her full name indicated how serious this was: an unspoken vow that this conversation was sacred.
The rest of the night continued without much fanfare. Diana was delighted that Chris seemed to heed her advice. After their dance, Chris moved his seat closer to Rita to chat with the rest of the group. By the end of the night, he had casually slinked his arm around her in their natural posture. If anything, it was Rita who looked uncomfortable and distant. As Diana got into her car at night's end, Chris had walked out with them and followed Rita, giving her a delicate hug from behind before opening her car door for her. Rita seemed surprised but reached up and held onto his arms that enveloped her in this backward embrace. It didn't linger, but it was enough. In the glow of the parking lot lights, Diana swore she saw tears glisten Rita's eyes.
Back at Rita's apartment, the women quickly settled into their pajamas, enjoying one last nightcap before heading to bed.
"You two looked like you were having a pretty intense conversation on the dance floor."
"Very astute, Detective Lance." She giggled, then continued carefully. "I tried to get him to talk. I noticed he was quiet tonight. It seemed to occur once Derek joined us." She fibbed a little, but she needed to keep her confidence. She could never betray Chris' trust on this matter.
"Ugh, this again? He needs to drop the territorial act."
"I don't think it's an act, and I don't think it's territorial. I wonder if maybe Derek's presence just brought up bad memories."
Rita quieted. That was possibly true.
Diana continued with trepidation. "May I ask you a question without you getting mad at me?"
"Of course. Why would I get mad?"
"Because it's a question I've asked you in the past, and you've gotten upset every time."
"Not this again, Diana."
"I find it interesting that Chris needs to stop acting territorial when you almost pulled a praying mantis maneuver on Cynthia Rush tonight."
"Okay, okay. One time in our entire friendship, I'll admit it, I'm upset about a woman. Not jealous, just freaked out, I guess."
"Because of her? Why? She's not his type- he wouldn't date her in a million years."
"I just can't believe he can be so blind."
"What am I missing here, Rita?"
Rita paused, tears stinging her eyes. Barely a whisper, Rita looked at Diana. "She's a lawyer."
It took Diana a second to grasp what Rita was saying. Finally, it sunk in. "Oh, honey, is that what this is about?"
"Yes. No. I don't know. Ever since she set foot on our turf, I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. She's nothing like her, and yet she's everything like her. She's methodical and sneaky. She's flaunting herself in my face. She's going to make sure that I know she got him. I'm trying to avoid the flashbacks, but it's too much."
"I take it you haven't told him this."
"Ah, no. There's no way I'm going there. I just need time to process. I'll be fine."
"Rita, he's not going to date her. I guarantee it."
"He might not date her, but sleeping with her is a whole other story."
"And you don't want him to sleep with her."
"No."
"Because you worry about him. As his best friend and all."
"Exactly."
"You wouldn't- I don't know- be in love with him or anything. Right?"
Diana waited. The few moments she dared to travel this road in the past, this was usually the moment she would receive an incredulous and resounding "NO" from Rita. There was a longer pause than usual, and Diana's eyes widened at the silence.
Rita had been staring at her wine glass, and then her eyes met Diana's. "Yes."
"Say what, now?"
"Yes, okay? YES."
At that moment, the tears flowed from both sets of eyes. Diana immediately went into consolation mode. "Oh, Rita. It's okay."
"No, it's not. I can't be in love with him. This whole thing is a mess." Rita was visibly shaking as the realization of her confession sunk in. Somehow saying it aloud made it very real, and she felt a sense of panic and dread.
"You were always in love with him. It just took a shooting to make you realize it." Rita looked at her in surprise, but Diana didn't waver. "The Eric smokescreen didn't fool me for one second."
"I guess the only one I fooled was myself, huh?"
Diana's heart broke for her friend, especially knowing that her hurt and pain didn't need to exist. If only they would just talk to each other. "What are you afraid of? It's Chris. He's always been yours, Rita."
"He's never loved me like that, Diana. I can't lose him as a friend. He's the most important person in my life."
"He's never loved you like that? Are you kidding me right now?" Diana had to pull back before she gave away his secrets. However, she could share her observations from ages ago to help give her dear friend some perspective. "Rita, I was with him when he thought you were dead. Believe me: he loves you."
She hoped to help ease Rita's worries with her statements, but the revelation made her cry harder. "Even if he does, it's too risky. Our partnership would be on the line."
"Rita, it's just a job! Quit tomorrow and throw yourself at him! Or make them change the rules. You've devoted years of your life to that department- they owe you."
Rita internalized Diana's words. If only it were that easy. Their partnership was only a fraction of what was worrying her.
"Besides, the two of us wreck relationships. We could ruin everything. He's rebounding hard after Jillian. Maybe I need to do the same."
Diana's mind was ablaze with so many things she wanted to say but couldn't. Those relationships imploded because Chris and Rita were destined for one another. All Diana could muster was the same sentiment she gave to Chris. "If you need time to work through these feelings, take the time. If you need to rebound, rebound. But can I make a suggestion?" She waited for Rita to look at her before continuing. "Tonight was tough to watch. Maybe you could at least still treat him like your best friend while you are wrestling with your heart."
"I guess I deserve that."
"And maybe ease up on Cynthia Rush. Be the bigger person. Show Chris that you can play nice."
Rita laughed through her tears. "I'm tired of playing nice."
"Atta girl. There's the attitude I know and love."
Rita reached out and grabbed Diana's hand, grateful for their friendship. "Thank you. I'm so sorry this all spilled out."
"You only have to apologize if you're not going to spill any more dish. THEN you'll have some apologizing to do. I want details!"
"Where do I start?!" She looked over at her coffee table and snickered. Removing a magazine, she grabbed the book hidden underneath and handed it to Diana.
"Palm Beach Madams? What does this have to do with Chris?!"
"Turn to page 79." Rita laughed as Diana read the paragraphs aloud with wide eyes, gasps, and giggles. Brittany, Gates, and their dance with destiny was a great introduction to the secrets of her heart.
Author's Notes: I'll be honest, I wrote this one a few months ago and was unsure about publishing it. I'm not sure why- maybe because Cynthia Rush is my least favorite character ever, and I hated that the writers even added in this level of ridiculousness. HA! I was drawn to the angst of this episode and had to investigate it. The epiphany of the lawyer comparison hit me, and that was that. Fun fact- Rita does not smile once in this episode (a small smile when she finds out they are reopening the Keating investigation, but that's it). I had to play on those emotions. PS- The Paul McCartney song playing at Society is "Maybe I'm Amazed".
