Humanity's Strongest

AN: Thank you to Smilyimp for letting me use their lovely artwork for the story cover😆 You should check them out on Deviant Art (this website won't let me post a link unfortunately!)


Erwin's head snapped up at the knock on his office door.

He knew who it was. Only one person knocked like that – two swift, impatient raps, instead of the customary three or four that most people used.

"Come in," Erwin said, setting his pen down on the report he was writing. He resisted the urge to run a hand through his hair to tidy it.

The door opened, and as Erwin predicted, a short, muscular, dark-haired man stood in the doorway. Despite his small stature, the soldier had a presence that demanded attention. Everything about him radiated precision and discipline, from his impeccable clothing to his cautious bearing and movement.

"Captain Levi. How can I help you?" Erwin greeted calmly, despite his thumping heart. This was an unexpectedly late visit from the captain.

"Apologies for the late hour, Commander." Levi's neutral tone hid any trace of true apology. The man treated displays of emotion like unsightly stains – they needed to be scrubbed and scoured away until no evidence remained.

"I saw the light under your door, and figured you were still up," Levi continued. "If it's a bad time though…" he trailed off.

Erwin suspected the captain's thoughts – like his own – were in chaos after the results of Eren Yeager's trial earlier that day. The Survey Corps had been successful in getting control of him. But the situation was unprecedented. Who knew how far Eren's titan shifting abilities were to be trusted?

"I've told you; you can visit anytime. I assume you're having trouble sleeping?" Erwin asked.

The other man gave a curt nod. Erwin sighed and ran a hand through his hair, finding it already in disarray. "Me too. A lot has happened these past few days…"

Levi's gaze slid to the floor. His mouth quivered – some betrayal of emotion threatened to overcome his neutral expression. He crossed his arms defensively.

Erwin's heart ached. He knew what being Humanity's Strongest Solider cost Levi. The captain had probably come here tonight seeking companionship, but there was no way the man would admit that.

He stood up and approached Levi. In his firm commander's voice he said, "Sit down, and I'll get you a drink."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Is that an order?"

"Yes," Erwin replied, kindlier this time. "It's for your own good." He pointed towards the couch in the corner of his office.

"I see you can't resist playing the commander, even in private," Levi said, but did as he was told.

The man had a seemingly endless supply of derisive comments for every situation. Erwin was used to it by now, and even found it amusing. Most of Levi's remarks to him were more teasing than intentionally harmful.

He pulled out a bottle of brandy from his well-stocked drinks cabinet, and poured out a generous dose for Levi and a smaller one for himself.

Levi accepted the glass. "I suppose this is one of the perks of your position." He took a measured sip. "Even if you still have to deal with the likes of me."

Erwin settled on the small couch with difficulty. Levi somehow managed to take up over half of it with his sprawling posture.

"You are quite the handful… but you were even worse a few years back."

"If you're referring to the time when I tried to kill you, then that's an understatement."

Erwin vividly recalled Levi's eyes that day, as he pressed his sword to his neck. An untamed storm of fury, desperation, anguish… and vulnerability. "I could hardly blame you, after everything you'd been through," Erwin said softly.

"I never expected you to fully trust me after that." Levi glowered into the contents of his glass, contemplating the dark liquid.

"It's been six years since they died," he said abruptly. Erwin knew he referred to his two friends who'd died that day, Isabel and Farlan. "Sometimes I go for days without thinking about them. Should I feel bad for that?" Levi's eyes flickered up to meet his companion's.

"I think that's a normal part of moving on. Just remember that they wouldn't want you to spend your life mourning them."

Levi nodded in heavy assent. His features looked particularly drawn tonight, Erwin noted with concern.

"You know, you're the only person here I can talk to about this stuff." Levi said quietly. "But I don't want to burden you. You've already enough to deal with."

It was true; Erwin had plenty of his own ghosts to haunt him. Doubts about decisions he'd made, regrets about men and women who'd died under his command, remorse over the part he played in his father's unjust death. It was one thing to tell someone not to feel guilty over the loss of a loved one. And another entirely to take that advise yourself.

In Levi's case, he wasn't comfortable sharing his thoughts with anybody else. It was a strange, twisted sort of honour to be the only confidant of this troubled soldier.

There were parts of being a commander that Erwin hated. But one aspect of his job he took pride in was supporting his soldiers, and being a leader they could rely on for help.

"Levi, I'm not just your commander. I'm your friend. You can tell me anything." Erwin resisted the urge to reinforce this statement with a physical gesture, like squeezing his arm or shoulder. Levi wasn't keen on physical contact outside of the necessities of combat training. He didn't want to make the other man uncomfortable.

A small, rare smile lifted the corners of the captain's mouth. The sight sent relief rippling through Erwin.

And… something else? His pulse was racing, the hand holding his glass shaking slightly. As their slow, strange friendship developed over the past few years, his feelings for his comrade had slowly slipped beyond admiration and respect. Into territory a lot more dangerous and confusing.

Levi's smile disappeared as swiftly as it had appeared, making Erwin wonder if it had been a wishful figment of his imagination.

"I don't know if talking about it will do any good." Levi stared down at his hands twisting on his lap.

"You can't keep everything to yourself. You'll go mad."

"I'm Humanity's Strongest, remember?" Levi's laugh was like the edge of sword. "I have to uphold that image. Nobody wants to discover I'm really a fraud; a ruse crafted by the Survey Corps to boost morale and encourage more trainees to join us! Leading people to their deaths, assuring everyone that their sacrifices are worthwhile. When I don't even know if that's true."

As usual, the cynical captain sliced right to the unpleasant heart of the matter. Erwin had experienced the same doubts; but he truly believed the Survey Corps was fighting for humanity's freedom.

"You're not a fraud. You talk of lives lost. But how many people – both civilians and soldiers - have your actions saved?" Erwin countered. "You give hope to all of us. And now more than ever, we have something to fight for – information about the titans that we can use to defeat them for good. This Eren Yeager might be the key to our salvation."

Levi drained his drink, and stared into the empty glass. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed marks etched his forehead. After an apparent internal debate, he finally spoke.

"The look on that brat's face when I found him in Trost… it was like I was his god damn hero or something. And then today, I had to go and beat him to a bloody pulp."

Erwin opened his mouth to respond, but Levi cut in, quick as a knife. "I know, it was necessary to save the kid's life. And our elusive chance at salvation." He lifted his gaze to Erwin, expression burning with challenge. "So why can't I forget the pain in his eyes? The helplessness, the shame… I can still recall what that feels like myself." Levi's face twisted into a grimace of disgust. "Humanity's Strongest Solider – using his strength against a defenceless boy. How does that make me a hero? I'm a fucking monster."

What could he say to placate him? Erwin grasped for any thread of optimism to comfort his friend.

"You're not a monster."

Levi made a scoffing noise. Erwin couldn't stand it. He was infuriated. Partly due to the captain's resolve to never see the good in himself; but mostly because of the cruel series of events that led him to assume a role he never wanted.

"Levi – a monster wouldn't feel regret or doubt over his actions. And you do." Erwin purposefully shifted into his commander's voice. Authoritative. Dependable. Persuasive. "And I know you're not a monster. Doesn't that count for anything?"

Obeying a wild, perilous impulse, Erwin placed his hand over Levi's. He forced his friend to meet his gaze, compelling him to see the truth; to see how much Erwin valued him, admired him, needed him.

The captain's mouth trembled, and his eyes were shiny. His carefully constructed walls had cracked – and years of built up turmoil and rage were threatening to break through.

Levi jerked his hand away. Erwin had never seen him look so conflicted. "I - I should go," he stammered, all trace of cynicism gone. He put his glass on the side table and stood up.

"Wait," Erwin pleaded, standing too. "Please, Levi. You don't have to deal with this alone."

The captain hesitated, frozen in place by his commander's gentle words. He pressed his hands to his face; roughly scrubbing away the tears that had trailed down his cheeks. He made a noise of frustration. "I'm fine!" he growled, voice shaking.

Heart breaking at his friend's anguish, Erwin took a hesitant step closer, wanting – no, needing – to help him.

Levi glared up at him; eyes red, fierce and dangerous. Then the last of his defiant façade shattered. His face crumpled, and he made choked sounds as he tried to contain his sobs.

When Erwin carefully wrapped his arms around him, Humanity's Strongest crumbled into his embrace.

Levi felt small in his grasp, his dark head resting against his chest. Erwin stroked his hair, whispering soothing words as the captain released his pent up misery. He ran his other hand in comforting circles over his back, feeling the solid muscles shuddering under the force of his agony.

Levi coiled his own arms around Erwin's waist; his hard, bruising grip a stark reminder of his incredible strength. Now, that powerful body clung to his commander as though his life depended on it.

When the intensity of his sobs subsided, Levi whispered a soft, "I'm sorry."

A fresh tide of pain rippled through Erwin. Why was the other man apologising? For sharing his grief and suffering with someone who cared for him? How long had it been since he'd allowed himself to accept any sort of comfort?

Erwin squeezed his shoulder. "Don't be," he murmured.

Levi was already breaking out of their entangled hold on each other. Erwin steered him back onto the couch; this time sitting closer beside him, so their legs were almost touching. Levi's breathing was still rapid and uneven. Even after battle, he never looked this utterly exhausted.

Erwin's instincts urged him to pull the man back into his arms. To offer him any sort of solace he wished. However, despite already breaking through a barrier with Levi tonight, he was wary of taking advantage of the captain while he was vulnerable.

"I'm a mess," Levi snorted in disdain. Facing away, he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his face. When he finished, he turned back and his eyes fixed on the wet patch on Erwin's chest. "Urgh, look what I did to your shirt!"

Erwin shrugged. "It's fine. I've gotten covered in worse fighting titans."

"At least they don't snivel all over you like a pathetic brat."

"Why do you have to put yourself down like that?" Erwin asked, his question tinged with more exasperation than he'd intended.

The captain opened his mouth as if to retort with his usual biting words. Then he hesitated, glaring silently at his clenched fists. Erwin could practically feel the fury smouldering from him.

"There's no shame in acknowledging your emotions. Remember, that just makes you human," Erwin said, trying once more to win him over with reason. "It's not a weakness. You especially don't have to hide your feelings from me. I'm always here to listen to you."

Levi's gaze snapped up, challenge blazing in them even as fresh tears slipped down his face. "I don't understand, why do you even bother with me?" Confusion and frustration battled for dominance in his voice. "You're always checking up on me, asking me to eat with you at meals instead of in my room… God knows you already have enough responsibilities to deal with. And you know I'll do my duty, no matter how much it messes me up. So why waste your time on a broken, fucked-up soldier like me?!"

His voice dissolved on the final word, as if it'd taken his entire willpower not to break down during his outburst.

Explanations tumbled around Erwin's head. Would anything he said be powerful enough to convince Levi of his worth? Finally, he decided on the truth.

"Because you're my friend."

Levi's steely grey eyes flitted away. "No offence, but you deserve better friends, Commander."

Erwin summoned authority into his voice. "No offense, but I can decide that for myself. Besides," he added thoughtfully, "It's refreshing to have a soldier who's not afraid to speak his mind to me."

Levi crossed his arms petulantly, as if determined to prolong the argument. "And who cries all over you like a baby."

"If that's what you need to feel even the slightest bit better, then I'm happy to sacrifice my shirt to the cause anytime."

A hint of a smile quirked Levi's lips as he wiped away his remaining tears. He looked embarrassed. And… perhaps a little pleased?

Erwin felt like he was finally getting through to the captain. He debated for a moment, before lightly resting his hand on Levi's shoulder. He intended the touch to be reassuring and supportive.

Levi's eyes widened at the gesture. A faint blush spread over his cheeks. He seemed to be struggling to find an appropriately snarky remark. Then he surprised Erwin by muttering what sounded like, "Thank you." Clearing his throat, he continued in a stronger voice, "You're the only person I feel comfortable talking to about… well, any of this. I still don't understand why you put up with me. But I - I appreciate it." He fidgeted with the cuffs of his sleeves, before adding awkwardly, "So… thank you for that."

The captain had avoided looking at Erwin, but on these last words, he glanced up purposefully to meet his gaze. Had those steely eyes ever looked at Erwin so sincerely before? His heart pounded in his chest, a turmoil of chaotic emotions chasing through him. For once, he couldn't find the right words, the correct response. He just smiled, feeling his own cheeks burning.

Then Levi, no longer hiding his own smile, slowly reached up to where Erwin's hand still rested on his shoulder. He squeezed it.

There was something different in his eyes now. Something that made Erwin's pulse race even faster. But he had to be reading the situation wrong. His secret desire for the captain must be affecting his judgement; making him see what he wanted to…

Levi shifted closer so that their legs pressed against each other. He tilted his head questioningly, as if seeking confirmation before heading further into unfamiliar territory.

Erwin's panic gripped him in a daze of indecision. He wanted Levi so badly it hurt. And it seemed that Levi might share some of his feelings…

Still, his lingering doubt told him it was wrong to behave like this with someone under his command. Relationships between superiors and soldiers was not forbidden, but not encouraged either. Erwin was conscious of taking advantage of the other man.

But Levi was the one initiating things. Did that make it all right?

Levi's smile faltered and a crease appeared on his brow. Without thinking, Erwin pulled his hand off Levi's shoulder, and captured the other man's hand in his own.

"Are you sure?" Erwin breathed.

The captain had never looked so flushed. He hesitated before whispering, "Yes… Are you?"

Erwin sighed. The time had come to dedicate his heart, and admit the truth. He inhaled deeply. "Levi, I can't even begin to explain how much I care about you… I've never felt this way about anyone before. Ever since we met, I've always admired –"

"You can save the speech for later, Commander." Levi smirked, looking infuriatingly smug in response to Erwin's heartfelt confession.

Then the captain leaned in, tilting his head so their faces were almost touching.

All rational and sensible thoughts left Erwin's head as Levi's lips met his own.


Notes: I wrote this as a oneshot, but I'm tempted to write either a second chapter, or another Erwin/Levi fic from Levi's POV. Please let me know what you think!

Thanks for reading :D