"Yes, can we keep it between us right now or do you want external parties and legal formalities in place?" she asks.
"I" Quinn stops "you're a lawyer Rachel what do you want."
"I want this kept with just us and I would like you to come round so we can talk it out." Quinn sighs and knows that Rachel is right until she has the full story she can't make a decision.
"Fine yes, I will come round what's your address?"
"I still live in our home. I finished paying off the mortgage and we live here." She says waiting for a response from her wife.
"Right okay when is best for you and Liza?"
"We're both home now whenever you're ready, I'd like us to talk before you meet her." Meet her Quinn thought bit late.
"We met it wasn't ideal so sure I can wait. I need half an hour then I'll be round. See you soon." Quinn goes to put the phone down when she hears Rachels voice.
"Quinn wait"
"Yes"
"Please hear me out before you make a decision on your next steps, I accept whatever you want to do but please give me a chance to explain." She hears the desperation in her voice and nods.
"Okay" Quinn says putting the phone down. Not long after the call ends does Rachel hear the door go. She stands and readies herself for the tornado about to hit her home. It had been 14 years since Quinn had been in their home. 14 years since her wife walked through that day, she still vividly remembers the day they walked through the door just married how time had ruined them.
"Mum door" Liza shouts knocking her from her memories.
"I've got it, I'll call you for dinner when it's ready. Do your homework not a peep before then" Rachel says and prays the girl doesn't come down beforehand.
"Yes mum" Liza shouts downstairs as Rachel opens the door.
"Hi"
"Hi, can I come in?" she says looking down at the floor. Her shoes shining and her suit straight as ever it fit her snugly and Rachel couldn't help but think the years had been kind to Quinn she was always beautiful but now she was comfortable in her skin too.
"Yes of course let's go sit down" she says walking her through a house she helped build.
"Why did you keep the house?" She asks softly of her wife confused why would she keep this after all the pain after everything that broke them.
"We built this house how could I ever let it go. We spent years building this it's my home it's our home" she says softly waiting for Quinn to respond.
"It looks great the place looks great you always had a great taste. It's more your home now." Quinn finishes sadly.
"It's half yours legally."
"I don't deserve it you own this I wouldn't ever argue for it." Quinn states she wants Rachel to know she is not here to hurt her. She could and a part of her wants to but taking this isn't the way. Rachel smiles and pulls out a chair for Quinn and Quinn laughs softly.
"What?"
"Just you your exactly how I remember you. Yet different your I can't work it out."
"Barring the lines and hair going grey" Rachel says her hand running through her hair that was definitely not grey in anyway.
"Oh, please you look as good as you did fourteen years ago."
"So do you. You look as good as in our wedding day" she says, and Quinn looks down at the floor the memory hitting her too they made out eating cake on this table they made she stops herself.
"This is us avoiding the real conversation we need to talk about Liza. We need to work out what we do." Quinn states bluntly reality hitting her.
"She's 14 and she's named Eliza but prefers Liza she's smart and so cheeky she has always looked exactly like you which is like punishment. Every day I see you in her." She says her head in her hands.
"Eliza after my mum?"
"Yeah, after your mum I missed her so much too. She was so perfect."
"Thank you for doing that that means a lot to me. I appreciate that." Quinn says this is why she loved Rachel she knew this woman, or she did.
"Your being very polite Quinn."
"I'm holding back but I need to know why, why you done this to me?"
"It was after Jamie, and it was the week before you left me and went to America. I made a rash decision to keep you and us and I thought it didn't take then you left."
"So, what stopped you from calling?" Quinn asks annoyed that was bullshit excuse.
"I wanted to. I thought about it and every time I tried, I thought you'd take her. I knew you would. Your anger would have been" Rachel pauses.
"I would have. You were in no position to get pregnant and certainly not with my eggs without my permission I wasn't ready for a child. Not after Jamie. You took my rights away the second you had her." Quinn says frustrated, Rachel knew she was right, but it was her chance to save things.
"I know I thought it would help. Then when you left, I realized you were done no matter what I said or done."
"No that's not true, I waited by the phone. I thought you'd call I wanted you to come with me. I bought a two-bedroom house in America I waited for you to come for us to be a family to build again."
"Why didn't you call me"
"Because you told me if I left that was it was done. I left the door open for you." Quinn answers with the last words that she heard from Rachel words that haunted her.
"I said it in anger. God Quinn, I fucking loved you I would have died for you." Rachel says frustrated.
"You nearly did and that's not what I wanted. I wanted you. I nearly lost you I couldn't have another kid and risk that you weren't able to handle the pregnancy. I needed time, we needed time."
"It was one bad pregnancy; we lost a child and I nearly died then you decided for us both we weren't having a family. I always wanted one you decided it was a no go without even a conversation, my rights were gone."
"I was scared we were 21 years old. I wanted to wait to stop it was too much. We got married so young and then we were settled by 20 and we were pregnant, and it was so fast, and I know you know I'm right now."
"I know, I know I was wrong, but I couldn't not have a family and you were everything to me then. I don't regret her or the fact she's yours, but I shouldn't have gone about it the way I did."
"You should have told me; fuck forget the lies and the blatant law breaking but I've missed her childhood." She hates me, Quinn says devastated.
"She doesn't she knows you are her mother, and she knows I had you."
"So where does she think I've been?" Quinn asks confused if Liza knows her and who she is why hadn't she ever reached out, why hadn't she heard from her.
"She thinks we broke up while I was pregnant which we did and that you left." Rachel says and she frowns knowing this will kill Quinn and that the niceties are now over. She looks at Quinn and sees the dark stare back again.
"Fuck, I'm the walkout I'm the bad mum. You have got to be kidding me. Rach you ruined me in her eyes. I never even knew."
"I'll explain I'll tell her."
"You're damn right you will and then she can choose who she wants to live with." Quinn says and Rachels face drops.
"What no she can't she's fourteen and you've played no part in her life." Rachel argues standing up and pacing.
"Your choice not mine you screwed this up." Quinn says staying seated she knows she has the upper hand Rachel fucked up and it's not like her to lose her cool the way Rachel would.
"I Quinn, I know but we can't ruin her life with a custody fight and mess her around. Please I need her she is all I have. You have a family." Rachels words shock Quinn more than she would care to admit.
"What?"
"Your little boy and wife."
"What are you talking about I don't have a son."
"You do he picked up the phone one day when I rang, he sounded so lovely, I imagined him every day a son like." She gets completely cut off by Quinn who is livid.
"Peter and Santana not that you deserve any explanation, but they aren't mine. That's my PA and her son who stay from time to time. We're friends. She's my best friend and he is my god son."
"I" Rachel falters all this time, she was sure.
"Don't bother I want custody."
"No, I won't allow that, and she won't want that, it's about our daughter not what you want Quinn. Maybe you don't know what it is to be selfless, but she comes first. You don't know how to raise her."
"You should stop now. I would say while your ahead but you're not ahead. Yes, I am an established and wealthy businesswoman, and I am more than capable of raising her in New York."
"New York? No, we live in London." Rachel argues.
"I live in New York she's mine biologically even you know a judge would rule in my favor."
"Don't do this I can't go to court for this they could lock me up. I will lose my license to practice. Quinn, do you hate me that much?" Quinn looks at Rachel and break a little.
"Joint custody?"
"What's joint?"
"A month each or 6 months each" Quinn answers and she sees the fear in Rachel's eyes.
"But I"
"What?"
"I've never spent a month apart from her in fourteen years. I can't Quinn she's my life please be reasonable." She almost begs but to no avail. Quinn's face is set.
"Move to New York."
"No move to London we're here."
"What about my life, you caused this not me. I give up my life because you made a decision on my behalf years ago."
"This needs to be as un-stressful as possible for her. Moving across the world is not ideal our home is here Quinn we have to put her first."
"Not ideal" Quinn laugh sarcastically "was bumping into your daughter who you never knew existed in a shop. Where your ex can't look you in the eye. Putting her first would have been giving a damn about her knowing her mother."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't cut it sorry is not good enough."
"I know would you look into living here?"
"I don't know, would you move to New York?" Quinn asks and waits for the no.
"If you insist and she wants to I will." Rachel gives in and Quinn finally lets up a bit.
"Okay I would like to be on her birth certificate please." Quinn says softly and Rachel looks at her and frowns. "Well,"
"You're on it. I would never deny you those rights. Just as you are on Jamie's."
"Thank you," Quinn says and rubs her thumb over her tattoo of his name. Rachel looks to her wrist and takes a deep breathe because they truly were meant to be.
"You got his name on you."
"Yes, I wanted him close." Quinn says softly knowing the words not only hurt her to say but will hurt Rachel to hear.
"Me too" Rachel says shaking her head with disbelief.
"Where?"
"Left wrist" Rachel says, and Quinn smiles softly at her. Quinn looks to her arm and the cursive writing nearly matches her own. It's the side they both held in the ICU with him the tears nearly fall but Quinn takes a breath and swallows the lump in her throat.
"What happened to us?" Quinn asks softly as Rachel struggles to even look up at her.
"The worst thing we lost a child, and it tore us apart. We were broken and that's okay and now we."
"We have a kid who deserves to know us both. I want you to know her she knows who you are but not the real story. I can either tell her or you can tell her you choose." Rachel says to Quinn and Quinn nods her head it would be easy to do it herself or have Rachel do it and sit judgmentally watching.
"Let's do it together that way I can be here, and she can know that no one is fully to blame." Quinn says finally.
"I think I am. I could have just told you."
"I should have come back, I just left you and I didn't even call or think about how you must have felt or what you went through."
"I forgave you a long time ago Quinn" Rachel says honestly and Quinn smiles.
"I will forgive you eventually I'm still angry that Eliza doesn't know me."
"Your right to be. I completely understand. Shall I go get her I think you should stay for dinner and meet her." Rachel wanted to pull the plaster off get it over and done with.
"Tonight?" Quinn asks frowning. She wasn't even remotely ready.
"Well how long are you here?" Rachel asks ever practical.
"I" Quinn stops
"Exactly, unless you are not ready. We can wait till your next trip here?"
"I'm ready. I don't think waiting is good."
"Liza please come downstairs we need to talk" Rachel says, and Quinn stands tall waiting for her daughter she sees the girl descend the stairs.
"Mum is this about the supermarket I mean if it is I get it. It's fine she left us. It was going to happen one day."
"Honey stop, come and sit down I want you to meet your other mother, Quinn." Rachel says and young girl stops at the bottom of the stairs her hair tied back and her face completely flawed.
"Hi" Quinn says stopping short, where do you go from there. Eliza looks at her unimpressed.
"No, I don't want to. She can't just pop in when she wants to mum, I don't want to know her she not my mum you are." Eliza stands defiantly ignoring Quinn's presence.
"Honey please wait, I never told you some things that I need to" Rachel says softly so Eliza stops and sits down at the farthest seat from Quinn who simple nods and waits.
"Eliza this is Quinn your biological mother Quinn and I were madly in love, and I've never stopped loving her, you know that. You also know I have told you for years she's my soulmate, but we broke up after we lost your brother, and it was an extremely tough time for us both. You mum she needed to not be here there were too many memories and she left. I got pregnant a week before she left but she didn't know about you. Not until today."
"You didn't know" Eliza asks, and Quinn shakes her head at her.
"No, I would have been here every day if I did. I never would have left" she says looking at a younger her.
"You didn't tell her" she says softly and her mum nods her head ashamed but honest.
"I went the wrong way about it."
"It's not your fault" she says looking to Quinn who frowns.
"We both made mistakes Eliza. I have so many" she says sighing. She walked out on her wife, she left and hadn't event called Rachel once. She hears Eliza speak.
"I prefer Liza"
"Okay I prefer Eliza though. So, your friends can call you Liza and I'll call you by your name it's has a story to it." She says bluntly the cold tone makes Eliza shake her head.
"Great my new mum doesn't even listen, and my old mum is a liar."
"Eliza" Rachel scolds her.
"What it's true."
"That doesn't mean we don't deserve respect. Were your parents." Quinn says strongly and sees Rachel flinch.
"We're human we make mistakes." Rachel states looking at her daughter frustrated.
"Yeah, sounds like I was one right" she says walking out. Quinn and Rachel both look at each other that wasn't the best or worst case scenario.
"Eliza" Rachel shouts frustrated as she walks away. "Your daughter is a pain" Rachel says after Eliza leaves the room.
"My daughter oh she's mine now." Quinn says her eyebrow raised.
"Yeah, she's always yours when she's a nightmare. She's mine when she gets an A or she is nice" Rachel says and Quinn nods her head.
"She needs time we all do" Quinn says ignoring the softer language and joke from Rachel.
"Yeah, I know she's an amazing kid she is so a mixture of us" Rachel says softly as Quinn stands grabbing her coat. "Oh, you're going."
"Yes, I think that's enough for tonight." In all honesty Quinn is exhausted and she needs to go back to her hotel room to clear her head. This was all too much. New Kids, Wife back in your life.
"I, yes how long are you here?"
"I'm supposed to be here till Friday" Quinn says grabbing her scarf and placing her glass in the sink clearly dinner was not going to happen.
"Wow erm right so two days do you want me to set up some time with Liza and you alone?"
"You trust me to be alone with our daughter?" Quinn asks and awaits the answer.
"I'm sorry about earlier of course I do. I haven't seen you in fourteen years so whilst I'd prefer to be there in case things get heated, I of course trust you" she says looking at Quinn.
"I'll come round tomorrow."
"I can't promise her attitude will be better." Rachel says she had never seen Liza lose it but she supposes that this was a fair time to lose it.
"I can't promise I won't argue with her" Quinn adds being open and honest.
"Can we talk properly tomorrow?" Rachel asks hoping they can come to an understanding.
"About?" Quinn asks her standing in the doorway.
"Everything, us, where you have been, what this means."
"No, I am sorry, but this is not a reunion for us, were not friends and I have no desire to be around you. I am here for Eliza; you are my child's mother that's all." Quinn says finally saying what she knew needed to be said.
"Okay, thanks for letting me know." Rachel doesn't argue or say anything because this Quinn she knew well, this cold callous look that she saw was reserved for people Quinn was done with.
"You can't think me being nice while she is in the room is a sign of anything. I am being nice because she should still respect you, you are her mum, I have no respect for you and there is no us. You ruined that the moment you had my child and hid her from me. I needed to meet her tonight and her to know the truth, so I was nice. I will have my lawyer draw up divorce papers, and custody papers for Eliza."
Rachel stands stunned to silence. "Divorce papers" she repeats.
"Yes, I should have sent them years ago. I am sorry I never did. I know your faith means a lot to you and I imagine you haven't moved on because of us being married." Quinn adds and Rachel smiles angrily.
"Have you moved on?" Rachel asks and Quinn pauses.
"Goodnight Rachel." Quinn says walking out as she leaves, she can feel Rachel's eyes follow her. But it didn't matter the damage had been done and she knew it.
