Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma1/2 ...
A/N: I am BACK ;D..! Okay, so I wanna give one WARNING before you start reading this fic. English is not my first language, neither I took any extra classes to learn them :) .. I am just a die heart fan of RanmaxAkane, that's the only reason I am writing here in English, because if I start to write in my own language I am sure no one will understand it ;p. I am only following my imaginations and writing down with all the knowledge that I have. But I am trying hard to improve myself. But please DONT expect a 100% flaw free fic from me, because if that ever happens, it will surprise me even more ;p .. Now, PLease enjoy my dear readers :) :) :)... Thanks for always supporting me :)..
'When it comes to memorizing some special dates I am the least person anyone could ever count on. Huh! Forget about other people, somehow I always manage to forget about my own birthday! And that's what gives that tomboy the privilege to surprise me all the time by giving me a surprise birthday party every year, succeeding in making me surprise all the time.
It's not like I haven't tried ta give her a surprise party myself. I always wanted ta give her a surprise party on her birthday to return the favor but as it goes, I always miss the date. However it doesn't matter how hard I kept trying to remember it, but at the very last moment, for some unknown reason it always flew out of my mind. And then, when I woke up to the sudden yell of the family wishing her loudly at midnight, that's when I remember again that I have messed up again. So all I had left to do was mentally keep smacking my head the whole year for not trying hard enough and again promising myself to try harder the next year.
My mom and 'Kane, they both are always so understanding and so forgiving nature. They say, I like to live in the moment and that's the only reason I don't usually remember all the important dates that I should remember all the time.
Actually, they both are right. I always LIKED to live the moment before, but not anymore. I wanted to change for so long now, but sadly, old habits change slowly. So I keep making mistakes again and again. I can't help it, now can I? I am used to being a jerk around her all the time! But only I know how hard I'm trying to change myself..'
Ranma laid his head back on the hard wooden wall of his dark room as he sat facing the open window. The weather outside was perfectly matching his sour mood as he kept staring outside. The moon was completely covered by the dark cloud as white lighting was happening now and then. The whole house was quiet, making him more depressed by the second. How he wished his whole family was present here today. But no, out of any weekend they could have chose to think of giving them some privacy again, they choose this particular day. He was sure it was not intentional because they are doing the same thing too much lately, leaving the house to themselves to give them some privacy, to get them together of course. But….. he badly needed the chaos this particular day, he needed to fight with his dad today to get his mind occupied. He wanted the whole family madness today so that the uneasiness he was feeling at the moment would vanish. Because, all he wanted to do was to forget about what happened exactly a year ago, today.
'All the dates that I could have memorized, my mind chose to hold on to the date that I want to erase from my mind completely. Why my damn mind didn't forget about this particular date just like it always does to all the other important dates I wanted to remember? Not only that, I have been nervous about this day for months now. Not knowing how I will handle this day alone but now that this day has come, I have become helpless.'
Ranma sighs with a heavy heart as he pulls his one knee up to support his one arm up as it hangs limply over his bending thigh. He kept staring at his open palm with hard unwavering eyes as he thought to himself,
'Exactly a year back, today… was the day… when I held her body close to mine.. unmoving, not responding to my plea at all….. Her whole body was cold, her closed eyes, her pale looking face so close to mine, but I couldn't feel her heavenly breath over my face as I always used to feel whenever I held her closer to my body. Her every being was mercilessly yelling at me that she was no longer with me. That's the only time… I realized.. the harsh truth of my life. That my every being belongs to her. I could feel, my every sense, my breath, the reason for my existence was slowly leaving me.
That time the pain on my heart was so vivid, so intense, I kept feeling as if I was dying alongside her. But at that moment, I didn't feel panic at all. Instead, I was feeling delighted at that moment.. Pleased that I don't have to try 'n live without her. Because I knew my life will also leave me soon and I could be with her again. I wanted to see her beautiful smile so badly, her smile so innocent, so full of love and hope… I wanted to see her beautiful caramel eyes looking up at me again. Those beautiful eyes, which only gives me assurance and belief that everything is going to be okay at the end. I hugged her closer to me because after yelling her name out, I completely lost my voice…
But then…I heard her angelic voice and when she woke up suddenly… calling my name with her shivering voice, it felt to me as if I have got a new life. That time when I cried and called her name again and again, It was feeling as if my lungs got the oxygen that was lacking and I started breathing again.'
Ranma grumbled and spared his open palm over his face and started rubbing his face roughly.
'No.. I don't wanna think 'bout that day anymore.. And I won't ever let this happen to her anymore.. I just can't believe I let that happen to her in the first place! How could I! I.. I always had this secure feelings in my heart that it won't matter that I may not give her the luxury of life she deserves, but I will never let anything happen ta her! But now…. I can't even make myself believe my OWN DAMN WORDS! The day I let her suffer like that, in front of eyes.. And for something, that is not her fault in the first place..! On that very day.. I LOST! For everyone I was the winner against Saffron, but only I know, that experience alone, had made me the greatest loser in my own eyes..'
'Knock! knock!'
"Ranma, are you in there? Ranma?" Akane asked as she paused to listen if he was in the room or not.
After pausing for some moments, he replied with a hard trembling tone,
"Yeah.. What ya want?"
Akane became more suspicious hearing his tone of voice, she cleared her throat and replied gently,
"Dinner is getting cold, Ranma. Come out so that we can eat…"
"I'm not hungry Kane.. You have yours."
There was silence after that, neither Ranma said anything more nor Akane. Ranma again looked down at his feet from the door as he guessed that Akane might have left him to be. But to his utter surprise, the shoji door suddenly opened slowly. He looked up surprised to find that Akane was deliberately entering his room as she closed the door behind her, eliminating the light that was coming though the hall. The room became dark again, but for some reason not suffocating anymore. In the darkness of the room they kept staring at each other, without uttering a single word.
'Yes, I was right.. I knew that he was acting tough in front of me since morning…. Like he didn't even remember anything.. That he totally forgot about what happened exactly a year before, today.. I have to say, he acted quite naturally in front of me. Well, I can't blame him for trying, because I was doing the same as him. But, can't this dummy understand.. that, he can never hide anything from me? I don't know about how others see him, but he is totally an open book for me. He can never act and go pretending like nothing is bothering him, no matter how natural he acts…'
Akane sighs sadly as she slowly, deliberately starts to go towards him. Her eyes were on him as his ones kept following her every steps as she was coming towards him,
'I know how exactly he is feeling right now. How am I going to make him believe that, I am here for him... Like the way he is always there for me when I need him the most… I know, today won't be an easy day for us to pass so normally. How I wish our family were here to distract us. But no, they left us on the worst day possible. I just can't let him go through all this depression again, not alone.'
Akane sat in front of him as their eyes locked with each other,
'How I wish I could erase that fateful day out of our minds completely. I can only imagine how painful it could be for him. To relive that day, the agony alone, all by himself. Now I understand the reason why he always wants me to butt out from all his missions. Because, he never wanted to face the things he had faced a year ago..'
Akane smiled a sad smile at him and carefully laid her one palm over his cheek. She felt him taking a sharpe breath as he kept looking at her in a desperate manner. Akane couldn't see his face clearly because of the darkness, she bits her lips to control her emotions when she suddenly felt wetness on her palm.
'Baka, why don't you understand? How could I ever butt out! How? He was dying infront of my own eyes! And we were too close to reuniting as well, but as always he chose to save me first. How can I make him believe that all of my existence belongs to him... I don't know when that happened but, I just can't think of living my life without knowing that my baka is with me. But then, when I saw how he was fighting for me, only to bring me back to life and not for the nannichuan anymore.
The way he tucked me underneath his shirt, the warmth was so securing that I still sometimes try to imagine it when I sometimes get the nightmares of that day. I know he is strong, but the stubborn way he kept fighting for me that day, not caring for his life anymore, was making me so helpless because I couldn't physically help him anyhow. He had become completely insane that time, blinded by the only thing on his mind that he just wanted me back, that's all, nothing mattered to him anymore…
How could I make him believe that, at the end, my tiny self used its all existence because it felt clearly that Ranma can't take it anymore. I just can't see him dying in front of me…. But at the end, I was happy, because I could save him and whatever happens to me I knew he can live now.
But the way he kept begging me to come back to him, the way he cried, the way he confessed… Well, that baka sure declined it afterwards, but as I said before, he doesn't need to say anything to me vocally, he can never hide anything from me. That's how, I can only imagine how this day may always affect him, how frightened he might become…Because if the same thing happened to me, if I was the one facing the same scenario, if I was the one who had to witness my love one to suffer like he had to witness me suffering, it would make my heart equally broken and make me terrified for losing him… That's how.. I understand.. I can feel how he might be feeling at this moment... '
Akane gave a shaky breath as she gently whispered to him with a trembling voice,
"Don't… think about that day, please Ranma.."
"But.. Akane.. I almost ," Ranma stopped saying as his voice came out choking..
"Shhh.. Don't say a word.." Akane puts her soft finger over his lips to stop him from talking. Her own eyes tears up as she whispers to him lovingly,
"I am here with you, you are here with me. The worst is over now, Ranma. We won't think about.. it.. please Ranma… lets.. let's just forget about all that happened…"
Akane's last word came out as sob, then without any hesitation, she pulled him towards her. She engulfed his head on her chest as she tightly circled her arms around his neck.
Ranma didn't think too much either as he too returned her hug in a desperate manner. He wanted to say lots of things to her, but for some reason he lost all his ability to speak as he deeply buried his face to her warmth and silently he let out all his fear out at her arms.
Akane was not saying anything to him, she just kept supporting him and rubbing his back for comfort. She knows, it's not easy for him to show his true feelings to anyone, but he was opening up to her now and that alone is a big meaning for her. She smiled while crying and kept hugging him close to her, because she knows she can never get tired of holding him, loving him, caring for him or dying for him.
'Why does she mean this much to me! Why do I care so much for her? How she became the center of my life, my everything? How can I tell her that she means everything to me.. My every being needs her. Only the fear of losing her was the reason why I always used to tell her to butt out from all my hassle. Otherwise I would have packed her with me and taken her with me to all the places I went to. I can't bear to lose her, how am I suppose to tell her that..? She means the world to me… What would I do if she hadn't come back to me that day..?! She is the only one who understands me. Who never takes me for granted. Who always cares for me, not judging me, not caring if I am acting manly or not. I can be the real me, only with her. She is my everything, I know, I will only bring hardship in her life, but.. but I can't let her leave me.. Not now, not ever.. Because, I can't live without her.. How I want to tell her everything that I feel for her, to be honest with my true feelings and come clear to her.. But, I know I can't, not now.. Because after what they did to our wedding back then, I don't think it will be safe for her...But still..'
Ranma gripped her waist tightly as he slowly calmed down and buried his face on the crock of her neck, then he whispered to her in a soft voice,.
"I won't let ya go ever, Kane.. Please promise me, you'll never gonna leave me.."
Ranma's breath tickled her every senses as she closed her eyes to savor the close intimacy they rarely share with each other. Then sighing and licking her lips, she hugged him even closer to her and felt him return her favor. Still with closed eyes, she puts her jaw on his shoulder and whispers to him lovingly,
"I promise, Ranma.. I won't.."
A/N: I really hope that you liked it.. Let me know, okay :) :)
