"Quinn we can't" she says pulling herself back.
"Why?" Quinn says and Rachel wants to say forget it we can, but she knows better. Quinn is a mess; she would never do this sober.
"Because were separated and because you don't really want this. Let's get you to bed okay." Quinn nods and Rachel smiles softly. She makes the sofa bed and Quinn is asleep in seconds. She's only woken in the morning by movement.
"Mums back" Eliza says as she sees Quinn open her eyes.
She groans. "I know, god its bright."
"Ooo she's hungover" Peyton says, and Quinn raises an eyebrow.
"How would you know do you drink?"
"Oh, she's a grumpy drunk. No, I don't drink you obviously haven't met my mom. I know drinking her book club is basically AA in reverse they drink and talk about how great it is."
"Morning Quinn" there's painkillers and water beside her and she smiles thank God for Rachels organized nature. "You look awful I've turned the hot water on and put towels out for you. There's also some clothes up there laid out for you." Rachel signals up as she leaves the room.
"Thank you" Quinn says walking upstairs. Eliza doesn't say a word but can't stop smiling throughout.
"Stop. They are far from getting back together." Peyton's words hit Eliza and she rolls her eyes.
"I know just I've never had this. Them happy and together even talking normally just give me this."
Peyton nods her head. "If I could give you, it I would. Just don't get your hopes up. Okay?" she says putting her arm around her softly at first.
"Okay" she says hugging Peyton fully. The hug goes on for a moment longer than friends would hug before Rachel interrupts.
"Sorry ladies but breakfast is ready come and eat you can continue this post eating." Peyton blushes and Rachel grins at her. It's no secret that Rachel knows Peyton's crush and that Peyton is thankful for her not bringing it up. As they eat Quinn emerges her hair still wet and in jeans and a vest top. Peyton is gob smacked and Eliza nudges her.
"Hey that's my" she stops herself. "Biological mother you're gawking at."
"Sorry I just, you look so different out of a suit and relaxed you look" she stops. "Eliza looks so much like you. Its. Woah are you going to look like that in 20 years?"
"Probably" Rachel adds. "She looks exactly like Quinn when Quinn was 14 years old."
"Really" Eliza asks, and Rachel nods her head taking a sip of her drink. She used to hate it, but she learned to love it. Her daughter was also Quinn's and that was beautiful.
"Sometimes it's scary how similar you look. It's like we cloned her."
"I disagree. Those eyes look like you and so does her ears." Quinn inputs.
Eliza blushes and Peyton nudges her. "Told ya. You are stunning." Rachel watches them have a moment and steps away. "Here" she says handing a plate to Quinn.
"Thank you. Although I feel so sick." Quinn adds putting the plate down on the side.
"You would – how much did you drink?"
"Well, your scotch is gone – I will replace it" Quinn winces and Rachel nods her head there goes her evening drink.
"Bye mum, Bye Quinn" they hear and waves at the girls as they leave
"Last night," Quinn starts but Rachel raises her hand stopping her.
"Yeah, its fine you were drunk and emotional I know you weren't yourself. God knows you never meant half the things you said. I mean you were talking all kinds of nonsense."
Quinn nods but she wants to argue so she stands up, "I was myself; I was more myself than id care to admit. Even if I still feel angry every time I see you."
"Okay?"
"I know were not in a good place, but I don't want us to be awkward or arguing." Quinn adds it's almost like the wall has been broken that hard reserved cold Quinn who was bitter and angry had finally started to let her walls down.
"We're not we can forget yesterday ever happened it was wrong of me just to leave, and drink is always a bad idea."
"Do you want to forget?" Quinn asks truly wanting to know the truth.
"Quinn please don't, I can't take the back and forth. You wanted to press pause on divorce, you kissed me, but you clearly haven't forgiven me. You took your ring off when you found out about Eliza it was on when we were in the store, and I bumped into you. I get whiplash your nice to me and I get my hopes up and then your cold."
"I am still angry; I haven't forgiven you. You still took our daughter from me for 14 years and you still lied to me."
"Then why ask if I want to forget?"
"Because it's not just about me Rach last night" she tries but gets cut off.
"Last night you kissed me, I am trying to assume it was a spur of the moment type thing for my heart because if it was more or less that might ruin me. Quinn I can't do this when you're unsure. I can't take being a get it out of your system thing and I can't take friends with benefits."
"Rach, I didn't mean."
"It's fine just please work out what you want. In the last few weeks, we have been arguing, not talking, joking, kissing and I can't fall back in love with you only for you to pull away or lose you completely. If you can't forgive me and you hate me let me, go."
"Rach I'm sorry, I know I fucked up. I know. I kissed you and I won't apologize for it because I don't regret it, but I also don't know if I want us or if I just don't want you with someone else." Quinn admits and looks down. She was still angry, and she hated that Rachel still made her feel things but who knows if it was jealousy or love.
"That's not fair Quinn, you told me to move on you asked for a divorce and you told me I should want love. Aim for something more than you."
"I know, I know what I said. I'm sorry, I"
"I will see you this evening when you visit Eliza." Rachel says walking away. Quinn grabs her phone and keys and leaves she feels terrible last night she was supposed to tell Rachel she doesn't know how she does it how she raised Eliza so well. She was not supposed to kiss her and ruin the progress they had.
It was a full week before Quinn saw Rachel again and it wasn't even at the house it was at the store. She had been "out" or "busy" every time she showed up Eliza was determined to find out why much to Quinn's annoyance. But she had just told her they were working on things. It was true to some extent they were.
"Hi" Quinn says startling Rachel.
"Jesus Quinn can you not be a ninja I do like to ya know be alive."
"Sorry why are you so intensely looking at that?"
"Well, it says garlic flavoring but its vegan surely you just use garlic…" she says and Quinn laughs.
"You would hate America we have food that is just numbers. I go whole foods and organic just so I know it wasn't just created in a lab with mice as the food standards team." Rachels laugh is loud and obnoxious in the best way.
"God I couldn't, I'd be scared everything I was eating was going to kill me. Not to mention the poor animals used in every product even sweets."
"They do taste great though" Quinn argues, and Rachel shakes her head.
"I'm kidding I'm still vegan too I never really stopped even after I left." Rachel looks at her surprised and Quinn shrugs. It's one that says its nothing, but she knew how much Quinn loved meat it was something.
"How comes?"
"I don't know it felt like I was leaving you in the lurch doing it alone." Rachel smiles but its tight one that Quinn wants an explanation for but would never ask. "Rachel?"
"Yes, Quinn" she says throwing spinach into the trolley.
"Do you think it will work us?" she asks, and Rachel drops the apple she is holding. Quinn quickly picks it up and hands it back.
"What?"
"Us co-parenting can it work? I mean you have spent a week avoiding me and I don't want it to be that way." Rachel swallows of course that's what she meant.
"I know it can work and of course I just didn't, I couldn't see you and just I was being stupid Quinn, but I still have strong feelings for you and that night it was too much for me in all honesty. I can't start thinking this could work out because I can't be crushed again when you either leave or say you don't love me."
"Rachel I'm sorry, I know I fucked up but it's not easy for me either."
"I know, I hurt you and I know you don't trust me but please believe me when I say all I want is you and Eliza to be happy. I have no bad intentions I just want what's best for us all."
"I know you do, that's what makes it worse, your still so perfect. I sit blaming you every day for not telling me about Eliza, but you haven't bought up me leaving every time I have lashed out."
"I don't blame you for leaving me, I was a mess and I needed help that I was not willing to get."
"I should have stayed Rachel. I messed up too. I'm sorry for walking out waking up and you being gone I have never been that scared in my life. I felt like I was all alone, and I knew I could call you; I don't know how you managed to just be okay without me is unimaginable and pregnant. I am so sorry I should have been a better wife."
"Thank you" Rachel says, and this felt like closure like they had a chance to do this right be Eliza's parents. Had Quinn forgiven her no, was Rachel over the fact Quinn left her no. But they were parents first and foremost.
"So, what now?" Quinn asks her.
"Now we work out how to do this and not mess up our child like our parents messed us up" Rachel answers as they walk around the shop together.
"Pastor Henry?" Quinn says and Rachel nods.
