Growing up, Clark always had felt like an outsider, it was obvious, he was different, as in not from the planet different and sometimes that really sucked. Even as he grew and began to feel even more like the humans who had raised him, a bit more like his peers at school, but he never fully felt like he belonged. Even after dating Lana who seemed to really care about him. After his father's death, he felt even more out of place and set out to find where he really belonged and even though he had finally understood who he was, where he was from, Jor-El, his biological father had told him just how high his hopes were for him, that he was meant to do great things, it had cost him greatly, he'd learned that the hard way when he had returned to Smallville and found out about Lana being engaged and moving on from their relationship, he might be a Kryptonian but it didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell.
In that aspect, he figured he was more human than he thought.
Then he met Lois. And even though he believed to have loved Lana, that love was innocent and young. His love for Lois was greater than anything he'd felt or believed in in the past.
He remembered the moment he'd revealed Superman to her, he honestly didn't know what to expect but was nonetheless frightened of just how this would affect their relationship. But it somehow made it stronger. Lois became the link he was missing between Clark and Superman and he'd be forever grateful to her.
Cue to almost 20 years and he was a father. Something neither of them thought possible. His father had explained how surprising this had been to him, but had also been reserved about his thoughts when Clark had first told him about it. He'd been cautious because they didn't know just what could happen genetically to the baby.
Or babies as they later found out. But their boys had been a miracle. Jonathan was more like Lois, both physically and personality wise and Jordan, well, Jordan had been quite the opposite of his twin brother. But even so, he and Lois were so grateful to have their boys, that they were healthy and happy and that was all that mattered to him.
He worried of course, about how much of an extent they would develop abilities and what they would do about them, but as they grew from babies to toddlers, they didn't seem to differ much from other children.
And it was when the boys were about a year old that another miracle happened. A baby girl they had decided to name Natalie, would join them soon. Neither he nor Lois believed this to be possible, their boys had been a blessing but surely a genetic fluke and they wouldn't get that lucky twice.
But somehow Natalie had survived, even though she had been born early and spent the first few months of her life at odds, their little girl had thrived, she loved to play with the boys and make up stories, her imagination ran wild at storytime. She was tenacious, patient and just as beautiful as her mother.
Then, when Nat was about 4 and a half, Lois had taken 5 pregnancy tests alone, and another 5 with Clark by her side, she was pregnant for the third time, a welcoming news to the family but that had his father preoccupied. He worried about this baby not surviving and so did Clark and Lois. This had been her most challenging pregnancy yet. Not even with the twins had she been so sick and not quite herself for so long that Clark worried she might not survive it.
But of course, Lois fought the entire time, for herself and their little boy. They'd named him Owen, a name Natalie had pointed out meant warrior. And that was what their little boy had been.
A warrior.
Four kids in and Clark felt at times overwhelmed, he figured all parents did, he didn't know how his parents had done the job of raising him even though they didn't know what to expect, but his children were yet to show any sign of their Kryptonian heritage. Jonathan excelled in sports, and was fast, but not in an alarming way yet, he loved soccer, football and anything that involved speed. Jordan was a bit more quiet and struggled socially, Jon always tried to include him in everything he did, but it was clear Jordan felt out of place most times.
As he grew it only got worse for their little boy and it pained them to see him so confused about who he was and his feelings.
Natalie was a lot like her mother, her mind always racing and into books, writing and science, but there was a part of her that never missed the chance of playing outside with Jon.
Owen was just coming into his own person, he was sweet, curious, and it was clear he loved hearing stories about Superman and the only way to calm him down was Natalie making up one for him.
When Owen was about 2, Lois had confided in Clark she thought she might be pregnant again. They were elated and yet terrified of just how much luck they had left for this baby to be born okay.
They'd already had their share of loss with two miscarriages between the kids, even though they were early in the process, you never failed to wonder just who they would grow up to be. So, this time, they kept the pregnancy secret for as much as they could and Clark tried to be around more to be helping Lois with the kids as much as he could, even though Superman hardly had a break, it was then that Natalie and the twins stepped in to care for Owen as much as they could, even at 9 and 7, and it made Clark's heart swelled but also inflicted an incredible amount of guilt.
He was there for the world as Superman but couldn't be there more for Lois and the kids. The world seemed to come first and it made him feel sick to his stomach. But Lois would comfort him, she knew what she had signed up for, and in some way, what the kids had too, even though they didn't know the truth of their father's secret. Hannah Kent had been born during a summer in Smallville. Delivered by the same doctor that had assisted Lana on the birth of her little boy a few months earlier.
Now it was four years later and they were coming back to Smallville for a very different reason. Martha Kent had died and her funeral was where Lois, Clark and the kids found themselves this time.
Jonathan had tried to comfort his little sister who had wanted to say goodbye to Martha for the last time, but he had explained how she would always be able to talk to her, even though Grandma may not seem to answer back most times.
"Are you hiding out?" Lois asked her eldest daughter as she found her in Martha's room that afternoon. Natalie stared at her and wiped away the tears with her sleeve.
"Yep. I just couldn't take all the sympathy of the town. Grandma knew everyone. "
"Yeah, she was quite a force to be reckoned with."
"Dad says, she was a lot like you and me." Natalie said, and in a way, Martha had mentioned to Lois how she reminded her of a younger version of herself.
"That's a big compliment." Lois smiled. Natalie had not moved from the window as she stared at the people outside. She could see Owen glued to Clark as people came to pay their respects to Martha. In a way, it was like they were shielding each other as they interacted with the guests.
Out of all of them, Owen was more of a Daddy's boy and it showed. It was so obvious and it wasn't like their dad treated them differently, but it was a special bond, much like the one she felt she had with her Mom. She could see her brothers talking to Sarah Cushing and Hannah and her little brother Jake running around, making a few people smile. Those two had been best friends since birth.
"How about we get downstairs, make sure we say goodbye to everyone?" Her Mom suggested, pulling her back from her thoughts. Nat sighed and decided it was best to face everyone once and for all.
"Everything okay?" They found Clark in the kitchen. He offered his arms to Natalie and she accepted them gladly.
"I just can't believe Grandma is gone." Nat said, her face into her father's jacket. They stayed like that for a moment before she looked up. "But I feel like I should be asking you how you are."
"I'm… getting there, but thanks for asking sweetie." He said, kissing her head softly. Natalie knew by now how her parents had their own unspoken language and it felt like Mom was just who her Dad needed, so she gave him one last squeeze and said she'd be checking on her brother and sister. "I love you Natalie."
"I love you too Dad."
They decided to head on outside, the boys and Sarah were nowhere to be seen.
"Clark, I'm so sorry. She was always so kind to me. To all of us." They'd finally seen Lana, Kyle and their youngest kids. Natalie shot her Mom a look as Lana paid her respects to Martha. She knew a slight version of her dad's life in Smallville, including the fact he had dated Lana before her Mom.
"It's good to see you Lana." Her dad was polite of course, and she in fact like the Cushings, they were nice and she was close in age with their daughter Sophie.
"Same." Lana then turned to her Mom. "Lois, it's great to see you. I'm sorry it's under these circumstances. "
"It's nice to see you too." The two women hugged each other warmly. "You remember Natalie?"
"Oh my God, that can be little Natalie, honey look at you." Lana smiled at Nat. "You remember Sophie? And Jake is around here somewhere with your little sister."
"Have you seen the twins anywhere?" Lois asked Lana, she knew she had seen them talking to Sarah earlier.
"They were here a minute ago." Lana said.
"Mommy." Sophie interjected then. "That's him."
"Well, your daddy and I went to high school with Mr. Kent." Lana said, unsure as to where Sophie was going.
"You dated him." Sophie said. Natalie liked Sophie but she was becoming increasingly annoying right at that moment. Yes, apparently everyone knew about Mrs. Cushing and her Dad's history, but that didn't mean they were meant to vent it out, especially at her grandmother's funeral. "That's why Daddy got mad when he saw you on his Facebook page."
Did she even know what Facebook was?
"Okay, sweets, why don't you go play?" Lana said, in an attempt to protect Kyle from punching Clark in the face.
"Yeah, Owen is around here somewhere, you and Natalie could go find him, what do you say honey?"
"Sure Mom." Natalie smiled. "Come on Sophie."
"Be good." The adults sighed once the girls were out of sight. "How are you holding up?"
"I could really use a drink, actually."
"See, now you're talking."
"Lead the way."
Owen was often trailing behind his brothers and that afternoon was no exception, his Dad had now been forced into talking to other grownups and even though they were saying nice things about his Grandma, it only made him more sad. It was then that he'd noticed Jordan and Jon heading into the barn with Sarah Cushing.
They weren't allowed to go into the barn. Ever. But he wasn't about to go and tell his parents what his brothers were doing. Or he'd too would be in trouble for being there, so he just settled with watching as quietly as he could.
"Your daughters are so gorgeous." Lois said to Lana as she, Kyle and Clark were sitting at the kitchen table talking, keeping an eye on Hannah and Jake who were watching a movie in the next room. "And Jake, he's gotten so big.",
"Aw, thank you." Lana said with a smile. "I know, I feel like summer was ages ago and he looked so different and now he's going into preschool, I can't believe it's only been two months and it feels like he's changed so much."
"I know what you mean, Hannah is our last baby so it's hard, no matter how many kids came before."
"Speaking of time passing by, you look exactly the same as you did in high school." She said to Clark. "He.. he doesn't age."
"It's, uh, good genes, I guess." Clark sat down after grabbing another beer for him and Kyle.
"And Lois, I read all your stories, I mean, it's so impressive. Because of you, I tell my girls they can do anything."
"Thank you…"
"Daddy, can we have some more juice please?" Hannah then appeared in the kitchen.
"Yeah, of course you can, here, I'll give you the two juice boxes, you've got them?" Clark said after he took them out of the fridge. Hannah smiled, clearly showing off that she was more than capable of doing it by herself. "Thank you Daddy."
"No problem sweet girl." Clark said, kissing the top of her head and watching her go into the next room. Sometimes he wished he could be just as happy as his little girl and just put the entire day behind him.
"Jake, honey, what do you say?"
"Thank you!" He chipped in. This made the grown ups laugh. That age was the best.
"Are you still at the bank?" Lois said to Lana.
"Yep, and Kyle's still at the firehouse, made fire chief last year, and everybody else we knew moved away."
"She means bailed."
"Lueck?"
Twin Cities.
"Sippy?"
"St. Louis."
"Maybe you'll see them at the next reunion."
Kyle was about to say some snarky comment but before he could, Owen had come running into the house, which was a big deal for a seven year old with Asthma. He could barely get the words out. "Breathe buddy, what is it?"
All Lois and Clark could make out were: Jordan, Jonathan, hurt and barn.
"You're saying all we have are mild concussions?" Jonathan asked. "I am more worried about Owen." He said, turning to his little brother who sat at the other side of him with an oxygen mask over his small face. Owen shrugged, pretty proud, he'd made it just in time for their Dad to come to their rescue.
"You are both really lucky," Their father said. "And Owen is okay, he did the right thing."
"And was very brave." Added Natalie who was standing on the other side of Jordan.
"Little rest for the three of you and you should be fine." The doctor said.
"Thanks Benny." Clark told his old friend as he walked him out. Both parents waited a moment before turning to their children.
"Come on guys, let's get upstairs. All of you have had a long day."
"I wish Superman could have saved Grandma." Owen said finally, clearly upset when Lois tucked him in "Why didn't he save her?"
"Grandma was sick babe, it doesn't really work like that." Lois told him "Superman can't heal people."
Oh but Lois knew he wished he could.
"Grandma is an angel now, Jon says you can talk to her, you know?" Hannah said in a matter of facty voice from the bed below him but Owen just huffed, he didn't sound too convinced.
"I know today was hard, baby, but it will feel better in the morning. We all need to rest and just know that Grandma loved us very much, okay?"
"Okay." He said, a little more to himself than to her just as Clark came into the room.
"You did good today buddy, looking out for your brothers like that…I'm proud of you." Owen smiled weakly. The exhaustion of the day and the attack he'd had earlier finally had done the trick and both kids were out rather quickly.
"Nat?" It was only Lois that had come to say goodnight to her child, Clark had just gotten a call. "What are you still doing up?"
"How's Owen?"
"He's okay, out like a light, but should be back to his normal self after a little rest."
"That was scary, I don't know how Dad did it but, I mean, I was so scared for them Mom, even Owen, he could barely breathe."
"I know, but it's over now and everyone is okay." Lois assured her.
"Not everyone." Natalie said. Her eyes were weary. "I'm worried about Dad."
"Let me worry about Dad, I've got him, I promise."
"Are we staying in Smallville long?"
Smallville was her children's safe haven most summers, but she wasn't sure how they would handle staying there permanently, although she and Clark had talked about it more than once. In fact, every summer they had visited, how it would be good for them, she thought, leaving Metropolis behind, especially for Jordan who a year before had been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder.
"Just until we have everything sorted out. Now, try and turn off that beautiful head of yours and sleep." Lois told her "Good night honey, don't worry so much, okay?" She waited until she was under the covers again to turn off the lights, she didn't tuck her in per se anymore but was still allowed to kiss her good night. Soon enough she'd be a teenager like her brothers and it would be harder to have these moments with her.
"Hey Mom?" Lois turned around by the door frame. "Give Dad a big hug for me?"
"Natalie asked me again if I was okay when I went to check on her." Clark admitted to Lois after they had settled on the porch with a glass of wine, just enjoying each other's company.
"Yeah, she's really worried about you and so am I babe, especially after what Owen said. I know you heard him."
Clark sighed. "Well, maybe he's right."
"You know he's not. There was nothing you could have done for your Mom, no matter how bad you might have wanted to intervene." It was hard to hear it but it was the truth. It had been her time and not even Superman could have prevented it. Silence fell between them in that moment. "Also checked on the boys, but they were already asleep. Today was hard on everyone, what were they thinking about being in the barn..."
But her husband was no longer listening to her. Clark hadn't even realized he had tears coming down his cheeks until he felt Lois's arms around his neck. "Let it go babe, I'm here."
They were so wrapped up in the moment that they hadn't heard two small feet and the door opening. "Mommy, Daddy?"
Hannah had been the independent one of their children that day, she had not called for her parents attention, mostly because she had Jake to keep her company and distracted, their children were strong willed and independent, but sometimes, just sometimes, they acted their age. "I had a bad dream." Hannah looked a lot like Lois as a child, while Natalie, his father had said, took after Lara the most.
"Oh honey, come here." It was Lois who reacted first as Clark composed himself as quickly as he could, but he couldn't fool his youngest child that easily.
"Don't be sad Daddy, Jon taught me how to talk to Grandma if I'm sad. I'll teach you." Clark laughed, his hand to his daughter's cheek as she rested in Lois's arms.
"I'd love that baby thank you." He said with a weak smile. "Listen, how about we get ourselves to bed, it's been a long day."
Hannah slept between her parents that night, her face turned to Clark's. The emotions of the day finally dawned on him. The last link of what his life had been in Smallville had apparently disappeared with his mother's death and yet, staring at his child's face, even in deep sadness, he finally understood what his mother had told him moments before she died.
Come home.
"I heard her say something as I was flying here." Clark said to Lois, in the dim light of the bedroom. He was holding her hand under the covers. "My Mom." Lois stared at her husband. "She was telling me to come home. I just don't know why yet."
I've fallen into the rabbit hole of this fandom. After watching this week's ep. I finally decided to get this out of my head and write it down.
Please know this isn't beta'd, also took some actual lines from the pilot but trying to balance it with my own idea.
