Chapter 5: Faults

She had kissed him. Addison had kissed him and he had responded. He did not pull away, he responded. As if in sync their lips moved together. The familiarity of it. It was like they had never stopped. Addison had felt happy about it. Like she had actually accomplished something. However days had passed and still, he had said nothing about the kiss. It was as if it had not happened. He had gone back to being his bitter and petty self. Every time she approached he had a new insult to accompany the 'adulterous bitch' moniker he had given her. She was getting tired of the fighting and the way he acted hurt her.

But then, it was her own fault. Maybe the cheating was genetic. She had the Captain as an example. The best example when it came to cheating. He had been married to her mother and yet he screwed everything that moved. Just like her brother, Archer. The cheating was definitely a family thing which she had brought to her own marriage. Derek was right about Mark though. While he promised her love and family he was out screwing someone else. Cheating was just part of her life. A very big part of her life. She was so tired. So very tired of it all. But she wanted to fight like that intern had begged.

Aelwyne had looked at her with pleading eyes and begged her to stay and fight, so she had. She tried so hard but Derek was ever so cold toward her even after the NICU. Yet there was one last thing to try. Maybe an ultimatum would work so she made the calls and started the paperwork. A divorce would make him think. Maybe it would make him feel the weight of the culmination of a life and he wouldn't want her to leave. Maybe he'd try to keep her by his side. One thing nagged at her though. Would that be love?


Addison found Derek caressing Meredith's cheek by the elevator. The sight irked her but she took a deep breath and walked towards them.

"Can I join in? Or are you not into threesomes?" She asked sweetly.

"Excuse me." Meredith said walking away.

"How can you not see how miserable you make everyone here? You don't belong here. When are you gonna jump on your broomstick and go the hell away?" Derek asked annoyed.

"Well don't worry we're close to the finish line." She said fishing the papers in her briefcase and handing them to him. "Here. Divorce papers. Your lawyer took a look and said they were good to go. I haven't signed but once you do so will I."

"Finally. Off with Satan." Derek said, pulling a pen to sign.

"Derek, have you ever thought that even if I am Satan and an 'adulterous bitch' I might still be the love of your life?" She said sadly and walked in the elevator, the doors shutting behind her.


Her eyes stung with unshed tears but she held them in place. She held them because she did not cry in public. At least that was something Bizzy should be proud of. She leaned against the back wall of the elevator still holding for dear life when it opened. Yet she did not move. It was as if she had lost all willingness. Then suddenly she walked in. That sweet, sweet intern. Aelwyne Neirhem.

"Doctor Shepherd?" She said quietly, allowing the doors to shut behind her. She pressed a number, which Addison did not pay attention to.

"More like Dr. Montgomery." Addison responded, her voice wavering.

"Would you come with me?" Aelwyne asked her, offering her hand.

Addison looked at her, those eyes full of… something she couldn't quite place. She allowed her eyes to travel down to that outstretched hand and silently took it.


Aelwyne led Addison out of the elevator and walked her to what seemed to be her hiding spot. It wasn't anything special. It was a room filled with boxes from top to bottom. Aelwyne led her carefully through the maze of boxes and to an opening before a window that stretched from the ceiling to the floor. There were blankets on the ground and medical journals and books stacked neatly in a corner. The view was magnificent. The room looked over the back side of the hospital. They could see where the edges of the city met the hills and forests. To the west corner the edge of a lake could be seen. Had it not been for her emotional state right now she'd be on the widow trying to take in every little thing outside.

"No one but me comes in here. Found it by mistake." Aelwyne said sitting down on the bundle of blankets.

She was still holding onto Addison and she tugged gently. Addison allowed her to tug her down and sat next to her. For a few minutes she scanned the room and then settled looking out the window.

"It's a good hiding spot. It has a nice view." She said, her eyes looking at something in the distance.

"It really is." Aelwyne replied.

"Are you ok?" She finally asked, breaking the silence after a few minutes.

"Well I've fought. Even when it hurts this much. So today I gave him the divorce papers to sign. I don't know what he'll decide." Addison said still focused on the view.

"I'm sorry for pushing you. I'm partly to blame for you hurting. I'm really sorry" Aelwyne responded bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

"Don't do that. Don't take the blame for something that really isn't your fault. You were trying to help. It's ok." Addison reached out and squeezed Aelwyne's shoulder.

"But look at you now." Aelwyne said looking at her. Her eyes displayed the sadness and guilt felt within.

"What do I not look hot anymore?" Addison joked.

"It's not that. You know what I was talking about." Aelwyne replied, tearing her eyes away from Addison's.

"Look at me." She asked, lifting Aelwyne's chin so that she was looking into her eyes.

"Me and Derek. None of it was your fault. It was my decision to try and fight. You did encourage me and for that I'm grateful. I had my own cheering squad. Even with all of the people that judge me and despise me. I had you and Richard and Miranda. And it's been great to teach. I am grateful I met someone like you. Driven and kind and smart and compassionate. You will be something amazing. I cannot wait to see how far you go. And it's ok, believe me. This. What I'm going through now isn't your fault. I promise you it's not." As Addison spoke silent tears went down Aelwyne's face. Addison wiped them all with her hands. She smiled and soon her own eyes filled again and this time tears ran down her face.

"Ael… thank you." And after that she hugged her and she rubbed soothing circles on Aelwyne's back.

This girl was something else. Why was she taking it up on herself. It really was not her fault. She had only supported her. Like few ever had. She actually felt lucky to have someone like that. The pain that it had caused Aelwyne though. The pain she saw reflected in those golden eyes actually hurt her. She felt guilty to bring her such sadness and she wanted it gone.


So she continued the motions on Aelwyne's back for a while until both of their pagers went off and startled they broke the embrace.

-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-

"It's a 911 in the ER." Aelwyne said, raising to her feet first and offering her hand to Addison.

"Right. Thank you. Let's move then." Addison said quickly as Aelwyne helped her up.

They made their way quickly to the ER where a 21-year old was waiting with signs of labor and a baby in distress. Addison took charge of the situation as she always did. She was able to stop the contractions and stabilize the young mother. Then she was sent to the OB floor so that she and the baby could be monitored for the next few days.

"Dr. Neirhem we need to check on Cristina." Addison said after everything was all set and the patient was being moved.

"Doctor?" She tapped Aelwyne's shoulder. She had been in somewhat of a trance.

"Yes, right. Cristina. We weren't able to do rounds yet." Aelwyne replied snapping away from her thoughts.

"I need you to be 100%. I can't have you be in la la land." Addison warned.

"I apologize. I'm 100% Doctor. Don't worry." Aelwyne assured.

"You better be." And it was the teacher talking now. The change in tone seemed to have Aelwyne snap off of whatever she had been stuck on. Addison saw the shift in her eyes. They were focused and alert.

"Good girl." Addison said with a smile.

Then they were off to see Cristina who was possibly the worst patient imaginable. Addison ordered her to get in bed and be quiet while Aelwyne presented. When they arrived Cristina had been pacing the room with her gown slightly open, showing her underwear.

"How are you feeling, Dr. Yang." Addison asked.

"I'm feeling fantastic. And I'm ready to get back to work. I'm already on solids and the pain can be managed by drugs" She replied excitedly.

Aelwyne was about to say something when Cristina's mother spoke.

"Didn't the nurse say you spiked a fever?" Her mother questioned looking up from her magazine.

"Mother!" Cristina whined.

"Doctor Yang, have you had a fever?" Addison asked seriously.

"Yes… but it was 101." She said hopefully.

"101 or not you will stay and rest until your temperature normalizes." Addison said firmly. Cristina was beginning to protest. "That's final Yang. If I catch you out of bed you'll be here as a patient an extra week. Do you understand?"

"Yang?" Addison pushed.

"Yes Dr. McHot." She replied, rolling her eyes. Then her hand shut up to her mouth.

"I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd. Yes I will stay here and I'll be your best patient ever." She tried covering.

"McHot huh?" Addison chuckled and looked at Aelwyne who was staring at everything and everyone but at her.

"Please forgive her. It was most likely the fever" Aelwyne attempted.

"Right. Don't worry." she chuckled once more.

"Well I need to take care of some personal matters. Dr. Neirhem please keep an eye on her and our new patient. Notify me if there are any changes in their condition." She directed sweetly with a smile and then walked out.

She headed to Richard's office when she suddenly stopped and hid behind an open door. A few feet away stood Derek and Meredith once more. This time unlike earlier she was able to see his face and what she saw broke her. There was no denying it at all. She no longer was the love of his life. Things had definitely changed. And there was no one to blame aside from herself.

Here was 5. Hope you enjoyed it. From here on out things will deviate greatly from the show. However that does not mean there won't be some snippets here and there. Anyway keep them comments coming. ;)