Chapter 21: Learning

After some more heavy make outs Addison and Aelwyne went to bed. It was almost four in the morning already but neither had to be at the hospital until noon. Aelwyne was out like a light, which was good because she would be starting a 48-hour shift. Addison unlike the intern had a 12-hour so she remained awake a little while longer. She had the intern practically on top of her but she did not mind. In fact, she relished on the feeling. She smiled lovingly at the sleeping intern and tightened her hold. She was happy. So very happy.

"I'm going to make sure this lasts. I want this to last Ael. I promise I'll do my best." Addison whispered onto the crown of the other woman's head and after a few minutes she joined her in sleep.

The next couple of days found them both away from each other. The intern was on a different schedule than her, which meant no sleeping next to each other. Sleeping had been a tremendous ordeal but exhaustion had her relenting. Aelwyne also had not been on her service which was normal because she was an intern and she had to get a well rounded education. Still Addison could not help feeling jealous of Derek who actually had her on his service. She was not complaining about who she had though. Cristina was very capable as well. Still, she was jealous.

"Are brains really that entertaining?" Addison asked while elbow deep on another uterus.

"I like hearts. But brains are interesting." Cristina shrugged as she held the retractor. "Does it make you jealous?" Addison could practically see the smirk through her mask.

"Dr. Yang be quiet and pay attention." Addison admonished.

"Oh c'mon Addison, you know I know." Cristina said in an amused tone.

"Cristina please. We haven't really told anyone yet." She said with a sigh.

"When will you? Just wanna know so we don't slip." Cristina asked, watching the attending's hands intently.

"Not sure yet. But soon." She replied. "There we go. I finished extricating the tumor. I'm on a roll it seems." She continued happily as she gently brought the mass out. She had performed two other surgeries, which had gone without a hitch.

"You really are amazing at this. How did you not even graze the uterine wall?" Cristina asked, amazed.

Addison explained what she did and how she did it. Then offered Cristina some time with her in the skills labs to which the young doctor agreed excitingly. Addison was happy. Her surgeries had all gone extremely well and she had managed to get Cristina interested in something other than a heart. Though she knew the heart was the only thing Cristina would ever want to repair.


For Aelwyne the day had not gone too well.

"Are you gonna fix my daddy?" The little girl asked.

"That's what we're going to try to do." Aelwyne replied with a smile.

"Ok!" The girl said and turned to her dad. "Daddy they're gonna fix you. Mommy says you going nite nite. So nite Daddy."

"Goodnight pumpkin. I'll see you after honey." He said to his pregnant wife, who leaned over the bed railing to plant a kiss on his cheek.

After getting him ready Aelwyne and Derek went to scrub in. The surgery would take three to five hours. They needed to clip an aneurysm. It should have been a routine procedure for Derek. Everything was going fine as they opened up but just before they got to the aneurysm it ruptured.

"Dammit it ruptured! Quick. More suction!" Derek commanded, Aelwyne moving quickly.

"His SATs are dropping fast." Aelwyne called as she kept her eyes on the monitors.

"Doctors he's bleeding through his IV." A nurse announced.

"He's in D.I.C." Aelwyne announced. "Probably from the fall that brought him in."

"Ok he needs platelets, packed red blood cells, and F.F.P." Derek called as he tried and failed to stop the bleeding.

"Pressure is going down 55 systolic." Aelwyne called out.

"No, no, no. Dammit!" Derek swears as the worst came to pass.

"There's no heartbeat." Aelwyne said softly. They had been trying everything to get him back but they were unable to do it.

"Stop compressions. Call it Dr. Neirhem." Derek said, taking off his mask.

"We can still get him back." Aelwyne continued compressions.

"Aelwyne. He is gone." Derek said as comfortingly as possible.

"But we..." Aelwyne tried but Derek grabbed onto her arms stilling her.

"Dr. Neirhem, he is gone and you need to call it." He repeated when she did not answer.

"Aelwyne." He tried again.

"Time of death… 3:45 pm." Aelwyne said after a while taking off her mask as well.

When they had gone to inform the family Derek asked her to explain because that was also something she needed to learn to deal with. The patient's wife had been so devastated and the little girl stood there clinging to her mother's hand.

"We did everything we cou-" Aelwyne was interrupted by the sting left behind as the newly widowed woman's palm connected with her cheek.

"Ma'am please." Derek said as he protectively pulled Aelwyne away from the woman. "We did everything we could but we could not stop the bleeding. I am very sorry." And with that he walked Aelwyne away.

Tears had surfaced on Aelwyne's eyes but she shut them down because as soon as they were away from the family they got an urgent page to the ER. She was beyond nervous about the next surgery. It was another aneurysm however this one was huge and located in a very difficult area of the brain. One wrong move and the patient would be gone. However if there was no surgery then they would really be dead. She needed a win more than anything right now. After five long and grueling hours and two scares they successfully finished the surgery. Again Derek had her inform the family but this time it was hugs, instead of a slap and a crying spouse, she got.


Addison heard all about the incident thanks to the gossiping nurses.

"Did you hear what happened to Neirhem?" One nurse said.

"That girl can't catch a break. First that man and now a patient's wife." The second said.

"She's pretty much a punching bag." Said the last with a slight chuckle.

"Don't you all have better things to do than gossip about what you don't know? Off with you." Celine admonished. "I apologize for their behavior Dr. Montgomery." The nurse turned to her. Addison had closed the distance to the nurses rather quickly, ready to combust.

"Right. Thank you Celine." She said and walked away.

'Damn nurses. Just blowing air. It gives the good ones a bad name. Such idiots.' Addison made her way to the OR board to check where Aelwyne would be.

She had sat at the gallery along with the interns and Richard as Derek and Aelwyne worked diligently with their last patient. She had tried getting to Aelwyne right after the surgery but the intern and Derek had left quickly to update the family.


Addison waited at her office for Aelwyne but she never came so she decided to go look for her. She made her way towards the intern's locker room and found Meredith walking out.

"Hey." Meredith greeted her with a smile.

"Hey, have you seen Aelwyne." Addison asked as her eyes traveled past Meredith and into the empty room.

"Derek said he had her go into one of the on call rooms up at 3. I was about to go look for her but I think it might be better if you went." Meredith replied with a small smile.

"Ok. On call room up at three. Thanks." Addison returned the smile and left quickly.

She had already looked in two of the on call rooms but no sign of Aelwyne. She finally found her in the third one. The lights were off but as she opened the door the light from the hallway flowed in. Aelwyne laid with her knees drawn up to her chest, her back towards the door. Sight of her broke her. She remembered the first time she had the task of explaining a death. She knew it was not easy.

"Ael?" Addison asked softly. Aelwyne turned almost instantly, sitting up. Addison could see her tear stained face. "Oh, Ael."

"He died and I couldn't do anything. He had a family. A six year old girl and a baby on the way. He's gone and he didn't even get to meet his baby." Aelwyne as fresh tears began to flow.

Addison walked in and locked the door behind her. She went to kneel in front of the bed but Aelwyne grabbed onto her white coat's sleeve and slightly pulled so Addison got in bed with her.

"Addie… can you just… can you…" Aelwyne tried to calm down the sobs and get through her sentence but could not.

Addison knew what she needed, she always knew these days, so she wrapped her in her arms and pulled her to her chest. She understood why this hurt Aelwyne so much. Her own family had never gotten the chance to meet her either. They had all been gone when she arrived.

She hummed and rubbed soothing circles on her intern's back until she calmed down. Aelwyne's breaths evened out but she knew she was not asleep yet.

"Addie how do you do it? You lose babies, mothers, and sometimes both at the same time. So how do you keep doing it? How do you stay so caring?" Aelwyne asked, still clinging to her.

"Well you'll always care. You became a doctor to help people so caring is part of the job. As to how I keep going… I think about the ones I lost and how next time I'll do better and save them. Then remember the ones I've saved. The lives they are now able to lead because I helped them. Our job is not easy Ael. We try hard to keep people alive but sometimes there's just nothing to be done. We are not gods. We are human and as such there are limitations to what we can do. Knowing that doesn't make it better though." Addison explained as she continued to rub circles on the intern's back.

"Do better and think of the ones that are alive because of me. I'm not a god." Aelwyne summarized quietly.

"I'm sorry if that doesn't make you feel better but it's the best I've got." Addison apologized after a while.

"Don't worry, it helped. And all I need is you and I feel better too." Aelwyne said softly, pressing a kiss onto her cheek. Addison returned the affection placing a kiss on her forehead.


They had been in the room close to an hour now, the minutes going by in somewhat comfortable silence. They both lay awake in a tangle of limbs. Aelwyne kept on shifting on top of Addison making her chuckle.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep? I have a few more hours and I know you do too." Addison suggested.

"I can't sleep." Aelwyne stated simply.

"Why?" Addison questioned.

"Because you're too hot." The intern blurted out and hurried her face on the crook of her neck.

"Oh, I'll adjust the thermostat." Addison said, beginning to move away.

"No. Not that kind of hot." Aelwyne said sheepishly looking up at her.

"Oh?... oh." Addison responded then she reached for some loose strands of hair to tuck them behind her ear.

"Yeah." Aelwyne said softly avoiding her gaze.

"Why do you do that?" Addison asked with a soft chuckle.

"Do what?" Aelwyne said, still not looking at her.

"Get all nervous and shy. You weren't like that the other night." Addison responded with an amused grin.

"Hmm." Aelwyne replied.

"Ael remember what I told you then? We are dating? Together? We are a thing." Addison said with a smirk. "Do you know what that means?" Aelwyne shook her head. "It means you get to look at me and tell me anything. Just like I get to look at you and tell you how perfectly beautiful you are. You get to touch me and lay on me. You get a lot of perks, you know. Just like I do." She finished gently lifting the intern's face and kissing her.

"I get perks? I get to touch you?" Aelwyne said after their lips came apart.

"Mmhmm." Addison responded.

"By touching do you mean… umm I've never done that with a woman before. I mean we have the same parts so I should know where to touch. It's not like I don't know what I like. But what if you don't like it? What if I'm actually terrible? You won't like me then. And I can't be without you anymore. I thought I'd die when I thought I was losing you and you got so cold. I can't have that happen. I'm really scared now… I mean I wouldn't do it here. It should be in the apartment since the bed is more comfortable. I want to make sure you're comfortable because then you'll really not like it and-" Aelwyne rambled nervously but Addison stopped her with a kiss.

"You are adorable." Addison said as they parted, Aelwyne slightly dazed.

"Umm." Was the only thing that came out of the intern's mouth.

"Ael I feel the same way you do. I have no idea how to pleasure a woman aside from myself. This is something we'll navigate together. Ok?" Addison said caressing the intern's cheek.

"Ok." Aelwyne echoed.

"I'm going to promise you something. With everything I feel for you I won't ever leave. I promise I'll stay here." Addison said kissing her forehead.

"Even if I mess up? I promise I'm a quick learner." Aelwyne's eyes shone with mischief but she could see the raising blush on her face.

"Oh that's good because I'm a quick learner too. See I've already found somethings you love." Addison said with a wicked grin turning them so that she was on top of her.

"Really?" Aelwyne giggled.

"Really." Addison echoed, her voice down an octave. "See there's this spot right… here." She pointed at a spot behind the brunette's ear, her fingers ghosting the spot. "Then there's this area right here." She traced her fingers along her collarbone.

"Mmm. Very quick learner." Aelwyne said her own voice low. "Now it's my turn. See right here…" she brought her lips close to Addison's pulse point and blew a puff of warm air causing the redhead to shiver. "Yeah right there." Aelwyne grinned.

"Very quick learners." Addison responded and began leaning in for a kiss when her pager went off. "Dammit."

"Gotta go save lives now." Aelwyne giggled but leaned in quickly and slightly bit her neck.

"You are evil." Addison whined.

"It was my turn. Now off you go, McHot." Aelwyne giggled again.

"Just you wait." Addison said pecking her lips quickly and as she was adjusting herself Aelwyne got paged. "Looks like you're coming with me. ER?" She chuckled.

"Yeah." Aelwyne groaned.

"Not happy to be coming with me?" Addison said, faking a hurt tone.

"I'd go anywhere with you." Aelwyne whispered close to her ear.

"It's raining really bad out there." A nurse was saying as they walked by and Addison groaned.

"Waters are gonna break, aren't they." Aelwyne said with a soft chuckle.

"I'll be delivering babies all night." Addison said and sure enough she had been paged for two mothers who were in labor.


Aelwyne went to the patients still waiting to be looked at. No one had any injuries requiring surgery, just some cuts and lacerations, which she took care of swiftly. After a few more hours she found Addison sitting at the lobby's desk. She stood close to her and gave her a smile.

"How was it?" Aelwyne asked.

"They went into labor immediately. It was nuts I was running between the two rooms but Cristina was very helpful." Addison emphasized as she noticed the intern eying them. Aelwyne chuckled knowingly.

"Now?" Cristina asked.

"No not yet." Addison said, rolling her eyes.

"Not yet what?" Aelwyne questioned tilting her head.

"The thing about you guys." Cristina said with a smirk.

"Cristina." Both Aelwyne and Addison said in unison.

"That's cute." Cristina joked. "Oh wow, who is that?" She looked behind the pair.

"Who?" Aelwyne turned.

"That handsome piece of meat chatting with Meredith." Cristina motioned with her head.

"Oh god." Addison whispered.

"Addie?" Aelwyne said softly.

"Oh my god, Derek." Addison said.

Aelwyne turned her attention to the attending in question. Derek stalked over to the man who was talking to Meredith and without a word punched him, knocking him to the ground. Addison, Cristina, and Aelwyne moved over to them trying to hold Derek back.

"Derek! What the hell?" Meredith looked at him in disbelief.

"That's Mark." He said simply, rubbing his knuckles.

"What the hell are you doing here, Mark?" Addison spoke next.

"Hi there Red. Looking as hot as ever." Mark said with a smug smile as he stood.

Aelwyne shook anger seeping through her body as she noticed the way he was looking at Addison. She was about to take a step towards him when she felt Addison grab onto her hand interlacing her fingers in hers. Aelwyne turned to look at her and calmed down, resisting the urge to punch the very pretty man standing in front of them.

And then there were 21. There is Mark (O.O). Guyssss writing two different stories at the same time is not smart lol but it's fun. I have too many thoughts and too many ideas. Anyway for the ones that don't know I just started a new story, it's a MerAdd so if you are into that ship feel free to check it out. It's called "The Heart Wants What it Wants". Anyway I am starting to feel better which means I'll be back at work soon still I plan on updating this on Sundays. Let me know what you think. Until next time. ;)