IV
Proper Introductions
Like clockwork she was there in that same corner working on god knows what.
As a businessman, Levi had nothing but appreciation that his teahouse could provide such reliability to people of Maria. But as a regular guy he found it a bit strange.
Levi didn't even bother to see the same employees everyday the way this woman came in and sat down so comfortably. It wasn't until he started coming back in to check morning business again that he learned how many times she's come here.
And seemingly on a first name basis with all of the staff.
Strange enough though, the atmosphere wasn't as disturbed as it was the first day she ordered something. Everything was calm and unchanged.
Around others the woman seemed to have no limit to her extremes, but by herself she seemed a bit… solemn.
It seemed pretty uncharacteristic of her in the few times he's interacted with her, but the rest of the staff had no issues with her presence the last couple weeks he was away from the mornings. That's when he learned that she came by every day they were open and just worked. She didn't bother anybody or cause an uproar like Levi had feared, but just worked.
"Heard you've been coming here a lot." Levi came up by the woman whom he considered loud for an extended period of time.
The woman looked up with wide eyes and a smile spread across her face. "I have! Real cozy place you got here. But I haven't seen you around, Mr. Owner. Everything alright?"
"Peachy."
Levi was curious about the woman, but he didn't know how to use words to his advantage without being uncouth about it. One word responses were the things that usually saved him from talking too long to people he could care less about, but he wanted to know what possessed this woman to come here every morning.
"Cat got your tongue?" she teased. "I'm good at starting all sorts of conversations, you know?"
"I wouldn't be surprised. As loud as you were when I first saw you I could tell it was your specialty." It was a mild insult, but Levi had no idea how to respond if he was being honest.
She had a good point, though. How long has it been since he had actual human interaction besides telling people what to do? Levi could only cross his arms, put his weight on one hip and try to think about times a bit more complicated than he can care to remember. It was strange to him, though. He hadn't thought of his past in a long time.
The woman put both arms into the air and did a deep stretch, eliciting a groan of relief. "Y'know...I can't really tell if you're trying to make an honest conversation or if you're just rude?"
Levi rolled his eyes. Wouldn't you like to know, four eyes.
"Maybe it's the environment you were raised in? You know I have a few screws loose myself if I'm gonna be honest."
"I could tell."
The woman put away her laptop and assorted papers scattered around her - the neatest thing she's done so far given the way she wears her hair and mismatched outfit. She then took out a stack of floppy yellow envelopes with pages of the smallest font you could imagine someone to read.
"Is that the reason you have to wear those damn glasses? What normal person could read any of this?" Levi peeked at the woman's work.
She let out a loud one syllable laugh, "No! No, that's just what my boss likes to do when there's something we gotta figure more stuff out on. Says it's to keep us on our toes."
"Your boss sounds like a dumbass."
"Hmmm. Maybe. But I'm also not surprised you would think that."
"You don't even know me." Levi narrowed his eyes.
"No. BUT! I would like to. You're an interesting cat, Mr. Owner man." The woman was getting loud again but in notches and not exponentially. In a way you could say she's been trying to find the right time to bring this conversation to life. She stuck out her hand and offered a handshake, "Name's Zoë Hange! Nice to meetcha!"
"No thanks." Levi deadpanned and walked away to the back
"Give it up, Zoë. He's a stubborn guy. Haven't seen him socialize with people since I've started working here." a barista older than the usual young ones walked over to Hange polishing a mug.
"Oh, But Nanaba!" She pouted. "You don't think he's even warmed up to the idea of being my friend? I've been trying for the last couple weeks now!"
"I mean, keep trying all you want, but I've known the guy a long time. He doesn't like to budge in odd situations."
Nanaba had been Hange's saving grace since she started coming in every morning for coffee and daily work. They even started to hang out on Monday's when the tea shop was closed and Nanaba was free.
A beautiful friendship had emerged from their initial encounter. Hange wouldn't shut up about what she wanted to try and Nanaba just rang her up for whatever and gave her what was now called the 'Hange Special' by all the employees. (The employees could only guess how Levi felt about their favorite customer by his interactions with her so they didn't mention the new drink to him.)
If Levi was the devil all the employees at his teashop feared, then Nanaba was the rough-cut angel they all prayed for. She wasn't the sweetest of gals, but she had enough charisma to calm an angry person on a rampage.
As it currently was, they were the only two in the shop at the current moment. Nanaba had sent her coworker out to grab food for the both of them.
Hange groaned, "I come here everyday. I would like to be friendly with the person who owns the place."
"Hah! You and most women!"
"You know that's what I meant, Nanabutt." Hange defended herself.
"I know, I know, you mad scientist. But I would warn against using that eccentric loon as a human social experiment." Nanaba joked a bit. After getting to spend some time with Hange she quickly learned how much Hange enjoyed seeing hypotheses and cause/effect relationships in the most basic of scenarios. To Nanaba it was the source of much entertainment.
"Oh, what's the worst that can happen? Is he a true cat and climbs trees when faced with a stressful situation?"
Now there was a thought. Nanaba rolled her eyes up imagining what that would look like. "You know what? That sounds pretty funny. I'll help you out with that one."
The doorbell chimed signaling a lifeform having entered the building. Freshly ironed clothes, polished shoes, styled hair, cologne, and sunglasses to finish the job. The man looked like a million bucks with a subtle black blazer and trouser combo with a white button down shirt tucked in.
"Speak of the devil and he shall appear, Nanabutt." Hange grinned.
"Oioioi, sexy business casual today, sir? Gotta date later?" Nanaba teased, a small giggle in her voice.
"Mr. Owner dresses to fuck apparently." Hange joined in, getting comfortable in her environment.
"Both of you can fuck off." The short man's gruff voice huffed in annoyance and walked past both of them.
Hange was amused, "Oh, what a charmer."
"Oh, yeah." Nanaba said. "Hey, you know who is a charmer? That tall friend you got. Mike? Was it?"
Hange's eyes widened. "You like Mike?"
"Oh, yeah. I've seen him ride on that motorcycle a few times on the street and I wouldn't mind giving those handlebars a ride sometime."
"O-oh." Hange felt a little embarrassed. In her brain it was always one thing to joke, but now it felt serious. "Our, uh. Schedules are a bit hectic at the moment so I don't think I could invite him on one of our monday runs, but if I figure out when he goes to the bar with his bier friends I can let you know. I wouldn't be able to come because of work, if it's okay."
Nanaba was really excited, "Oh! That'd be great, Zoë! And don't worry, I can handle myself in a bar fight all by my lonesome.
"Yeah? Just break his nose if he does something stupid."
"Hey!" Levi poked his head around the corner, annoyed. "Can you be horny teenagers somewhere else?"
He disappeared to reappear shortly after, "Nanaba. Where's Nifa?"
"Op! Gotta go. See you later!"
"She's interrupting my work, Nanaba. Tell her to leave." Levi was checking his stockroom for anything he may need to order for next week. In that process he was checking for dust on the shelves and crevices.
We'll have to have a cleaning day around here again, i see.
"She's harmless, Levi! Plus when it's slow she keeps me company."
"You could easily keep yourself occupied by cleaning the machines and shelves inside and out."
Nanaba sighed, "Listen, Levi. You know why I'm here. But I'm also gonna tell you straight up that not everyone can micromanage dirt and dust the same way you do."
"Hm." he returned to his numbers in disinterest for Nanaba's words.
"Also I might have a date soon! So I might take a day off!"
Levi was confused. "A whole day for a single date? That's ludacris."
"Not when the guy's a dreamboat! Hey! You need to get out there again! You look so clean cut, I need someone to see you a mess for once."
"No thanks." Levi went back to the front of his shop to take the rest of his inventory and check on the cleanliness of the machines when he saw Hange leaving.
Fucking finally.
"Goddammit, Levi. Learn to make friends. Maybe it could do you some good?" Nananba was a little frustrated by his disinterest, but she also knew that this was a recurring theme. He had his reasons, she knew.
How long had Nanaba known him, he wondered. Since they were teenagers? Probably. Levi could barely remember. His twenties went by in such a blur he couldn't remember who he kept in and kept out.
He allowed her to work here as a favor from a friend, but the last month has been testing his patience with that decision. Make no mistake, Nanaba does her job without question and usually up to Levi's standards. But Zoë Hange's recurring ventures here as the infamous 'loud one' was becoming a red flag in his daily operations.
"I'm done here, Nanaba. Make sure things get done before I put a list up tomorrow."
"Aw, you're no fun anymore! Nifa, Levi isn't any fun!"
"Go be a gossip girl on your own time. Not at work."
The Dirty Underground served as a midway point when traveling from Maria or Rose to the Island's Capital Sina. Just as its name implies it's no sight for the light-hearted. Plenty of nasty business went down and the people who lived in it weren't seen as the brightest of spirits to come across. Occasionally you get the rowdy crowd of top-siders who come down, get more than what they bargained for, and figure out they don't know what in the goddamn they're doing.
Then you have the ones who go topside from down under. Still distrusting of others, but overstimulated by transactions of legal law.
What about the in-betweeners? The ones that can slip in and out of both lives without an issue. Without raising suspicion from passersby. To them, it didn't matter where they went. Nobody was kind. Everybody was evil and only did things to get what they wanted.
Just like her.
A quick-witted woman with tan skin and short brown hair. Knew her way around the stress top and bottom. Could tell you the best time to rob a bank or start a fire without getting caught. It was her that she didn't even know when she stopped telling the truth or started telling a lie.
It was just like the girl with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. But it's this girl who doesn't look exactly like she's in the right place despite being hard-headed yet frail-bodied. At times she spoke too honestly and found herself in harm's way when she got too upset.
The pair was so similar that they were different. It was almost like two fates that were meant to cross paths,
"Here to take a class? Learn new tricks so you can pretend to be someone you're not?" The girl with shifty eyes and short brown hair gave the tiny girl in front of her a Cheshire grin.
The blue-eyed girl was confused, "Uh… huh? Yeah I'm gonna sign up for the yoga class offered in the morning."
"Yoga, really? Someone as small as you taking yoga? Figured you'd take a fighting class so you could finally protect yourself down there."
"W-who.. Just who are you?" She almost yelled.
The girl behind the reception desk grinned again. "Oh, you know. I'm just a nobody who gets around. Seen some stuff. Know some stuff. How 'bout you girly? Enjoying topside?"
"Excuse me! I would like to just sign up for this class and go about my day! Stop being creepy!"
"Calm down, clam down. I mean no harm. You're just the only person I've seen make it out on the top unscathed."
The girl with blue eyes and blonde hair was dumbfounded and even more confused. This felt… unnatural. To be honest it made her curious. She wanted to know more. But she made too much of a scene just now. She had to get out of here before things got out of hand.
"Yeah, so Imma need a name and some form of contact for the registration. Mobile number or abnormally checked email work best." She sounded bored.
"It's Christa. Christa Lenz. and I guess you can use my mobile. It's x-xxx-xxx-xxxx.."
"Alright Christa.. You're all set. You'll get a text the day before your scheduled class. After that you pay u-"
"Ymir! Get your ass in this back office right now!"
The tan woman now known as Ymir looked behind her and looked back at Christa and smiled. "Looks like I gotta go, cutie. See ya down under."
Christa stared in bewilderment.
Ymir, huh.
Something resonated in Christa's mind. Something that made her forget that she almost got the suspicious girl in front of her arrested or called out for something that, honestly to Christa, didn't matter.
How much did this Ymir know about her, she wondered. She would have to ask. No. She couldn't. But she had to. It was a conflicting feeling she had. She didn't know whether to go with it or not. Her mind was telling her no but her heart was screaming yes. Very loudly. Like that one R. Kelly song. But not as problematic as R. Kelly himself. Just that one line.
Christa was abruptly removed from her inner monologue of thoughts when a tall man with an undercut and long face stared down at her in concern. He was wearing a trench coat that had a badge of authority and the Maria Crest embroidered on it.
"Hey, are you okay? I heard some commotion from this way and saw you. I'm Officer Jean Kirschtein. Do you need an escort anywhere?"
"O-oh, no. I'm fine. Thank you. It was a misunderstanding between me and someone." She said shyly in response. "Oh! I'm Christa Lenz, by the way."
Jean could only blush at her response. How many cute girls was he going to run into this month? "Uh. Well," he tried to regain composure, "if it had anything to do with that one receptionist then my best advice is to just stay away from her. She's rude and I don't understand how she has a job here being the way she is."
"No, I don't think so." she whispered to herself.
"Uh, anyway. Enough of me rambling. That just looks unprofessional as an officer." Jean grabbed something out of his breast pocket. "Here's my card if you run into any more trouble." He blushed again realizing how this might look to the girl. "It, uh. Also has the direct office number, too. You don;t have to call me exactly."
Christa smiled a bright smile, unsure if she felt she was being honest at this moment, "Thank you! I appreciate you're caring for the citizens, officer!"
"I am SO serious, Connie! I swear she had the smile of an angel! All my sins forgiven! God blessed my soul in the lobby!" Jean was being quite animated in his telling of how he met Christa at the University Athletics Complex. In a way it was unlike him to be this animated over a in another way it was pretty funny.
"I can't believe you until you show me some goddamn proof, Horseface." Connie said.
"Oh, come on, Connie! You gotta believe me! I can't make this shit up!"
"Yeah, yeah. How can I believe a guy like yourself to meet cute girls without being set up on a blind date?
"Connie, please!" Jean was embarrassed to say the least. He never had to try and convince someone so hard that he, too, could meet cute people outside of work once in a while. It made him wonder how in the hell his upper commanders like Shadis could do interrogations the way they did and not breakdown right then and there.
"Jean. Hey, listen pal. Imma need you to get it together before I post that video of you doing drunk karaoke online for everyone to see." Connie grinned at the mischievous thought.
Now that was a night to remember! It was just a regular old Halloween party Jean and Marco's class held to take stress off of one of their exams. Connie was invited, of course. But that pretty soon turned to kick Jean in the ass now. They might be close friends, but it felt like Connie was out to get him.
Jean got quiet.
If there was such a thing as a calm before the storm this definitely was one of those times.
"Connie…" he turned to look his buzz-cut friend in the eyes. "I thought I told you to delete that video."
"Maybe you did? And?"
Before Jean could get a response out the door to Sasha's apartment swung open and Sasha walked in zombie-like. Face showing no emotion and body seemingly dragging itself every step. Sasha looked as if her very lifeforce was drained out of every extremity of her body. From her head down to her fingertips Sasha felt numb.
Both Jean and Connie looked over at their friend (who's home they were invading).
Connie spoke first, "Uh, Sash? You okay?"
Jean spoke next, "Wanna talk about it?"
This was uncharacteristically Sasha. She always got quiet when the stresses of the day were getting to their peak. Or at least if she had no way of vocalizing them. Maybe they shouldn't have asked. But what could they do? They were already in her home.
"How uh… I don't know how to feel right now? Asking for a friend."
"Yeah, asking for you! A friend!" Jean said worriedly.
In a comical fashion Sasha passed out in the middle of the floor, unsure of what she should do. Connie and Jean scrambled to get her off the floor and onto her couch in the living room.
"Oh, goddammit, you boarhead! What's wrong with you?!" Connie said.
"Jesus. You'd think she'd know how to interact with people who are also cooking food or whatever!" Jean put his hands on his hips, confused.
"Before last month I think we were her only friends, Jean. I don't know if he knows how to do anything on her own…" Connie replied.
"Poor Sash… defenseless in the wild…" Jean followed Connie's lead. "A poor, defenseless boarhead like Sasha. Out in the wild to starve."
Sasha's ear twitched a bit as if she were still conscious of everything aural around her.
"Oh, Jean. How will we ever make sure she makes it out there again?" Connie started acting his heart out! He was so passionate about his friends' well-being!
Jean put his hand on Connie's shoulder, "Maybe… maybe we have to?" Jean was becoming just as good of an actor as his friend.
Sasha sat up bolt right and turned her head to the two men she called her best friends. "You know.. I do love you guys, but I would not want either of you to console anyone."
Today was an ordinary day. And just like any ordinary day it was lively!
The forensic and research department at the Maria Police Office was the epicenter of all oddities a human could be. The most energetic and outgoing of people all worked in this department by the discretion of Commander Zoë Hange herself. After all, she was the oddest of them all.
"Commander, please! Gunpowder shouldn't be experimented with indoors like this!"
Or
"Commander! Those aren't questions you ask regular civilians! Please restrain yourself!"
Or even
"Listen, sir. You can't allow her to assist you with the autopsy today! She'll go crazy! I swear! No! I'm not exaggerating! I've been to her house once! She's got a whole collection of things a normal person shouldn't have. Knives included!"
Poor Moblit.
Moblit was Hange's direct assistant and usually escorted the patrol units on crime scene investigations. It's been like this since she showed up. Throwing caution to the wind, and on a whim surviving a potentially dangerous outcome.
Moblit wondered if the commander really did have a screw loose. Some of the things she did got her in a bit of trouble that Erwin had to sort out because everything she did was on a hunch. But surprisingly she had good intuition. Not once has one of those hunches gone wrong. It confused Moblit to no end.
But after last week's meeting he found the commander to be a bit more on edge than usual. Knowing that she's going back for the doctorate could also be part of it.
In a way Moblit felt a bit sad for her. What time did she have to sit back and let her brain relax. That's probably why she's the way she is. She's always busy! Does she ever take the time to rest and let her brain revert back to a normal wavelength?
"Yoohooo!" Speak of the devil and they shall appear.
"Commander Hange, welcome to work!" Moblit greeted his superior with a small smile.
"And helllooo, Moblit! Anything interesting happen while I was away?"
Always so bright and cheerful, the commander never skipped a beat greeting the office or pretending she was the Jimmy Dean sun into the office. How she managed to do that was beyond the young assistant's mind.
Moblit gave a slight head nod to one side, "Eh. Not really. Someone called the office thinking they could get a paternal DNA test, but I told them that's not our jurisdiction unless the situation calls for it."
"Oh, you can't blame them, Mob! Some people let their emotions dictate their actions instead of sitting back and thinking about the way to go about it. All we gotta do is give them a little advice and they'll get it." She dramaticized the statement as she always did.
"Hey, have you seen Mike anywhere?" and just like that she switched the topic at the drop of a hat.
"I think he went to the shooting range to test out those guns Erwin got."
"Gotcha! I'm off, then!"
"Yahoooo! Mike! It's party time!" Hange announced to the narrow room.
Mike came out of the booth he was in and saw Hange walking towards him.
"Come to shoot?" he asked, "Indoor range is closed off until we can get some tangible stuff to look at."
"Nah. I came to talk to you before you left for the night. I've got all the gun issues you submitted, now all we have to do is get those shells you're firing and see how they all line up with the one we have in our possession."
"Hm. The worst case scenario is we have to outsource even further."
"Yeah…"
The conversation came to a lull.
"So what's up, glasses? Got something to share?" Mike gave a playful push to Hange's shoulder to bring her out of it.
"Huh? Oh! So you remember that tall, platinum blonde girl from that tea...coffee shop, whatever, you introduced me to, right? Hange asked.
"Uhhh, Nanaba, right? She's cute, why?"
"Yeah. We were talking to day before her grumpy boss came in and cut our conversation short. Says she wants to get to know you better."
Mike did one of those stupid e-boy faces in response to what his friend was telling him, "Oh, yeah?"
"Says she saw you riding your bike around town a few times and wouldn't mind meeting you at the bar you frequent to get a real immersive experience." To ride those handlebars, if you will.
"She a tough girl? A bar like the one I go to isn't exactly a great place to meet someone new. Full of bikers and cigar smoke."
"I asked her that, too! But she said she could handle herself. But if she's known the owner of that shop we go to for a while then I'm sure she'll be fine. He seems tough!"
"A tough nut to crack."
"Stop making puns, you giant. You're stealing my thunder!"
"Oh, man! I really owe you for this, Zoë!"
The Sunday Girl Talk had commenced as clockwork dictated between Hange and Nanaba. Without disclosing too much about how Hange approached Mike yesterday evening, she gave Nanaba every detail of their conversation without boundaries.
To Hange it felt great to have friends as close as Nanaba available to her outside of work. She felt security outside of her home and you could also say work, as well. In a strange way it felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders… or stress. She couldn't differentiate between the two.
"You're both off tomorrow so I figured to get you both in the same room sooner rather than later, you know? We're all gettin' old here."
"Yeah. Can't fault you there." Nanaba agreed.
But then Nanaba had a thought, "Hey, do you ever get days off? Or do you just, work endlessly even on days you're supposed to be resting?"
Hange thought about it for a moment. "Well. I can't really say. All the days kinda blur together at this point. I'm always having to compile evidence to present for court, or figure out how this connects with that, or damn. Now I have my doctoral topic, theory, hypothesis and mambo jumbo to worry about now when things are starting to pick up around this city."
Despite being on the clock and having a couple customers in the lobby, Nanaba decided that Nifa and Abel could sort it on their own. "Well, I think taking a day off for yourself wouldn't be such a bad idea. Do you schedule your work? You obviously do school stuff during the day. But is that as far you split your day? Half work half school?"
"Kinda. Usually have a lot going on." Hange shrugged.
"Is that why you come in here looking half a mess and more?" A gruff voice appeared out of nowhere in their conversation.
"Levi! Give us some space! It's girl talk time!"
"You're on my clock and sitting on your ass. Take a break or go home." He sounded annoyed as usual.
"So it's Levi?" Hange asked to confirm. "Then it's settled Mr. Owner! We're officially acquaintances!" Hange was excited now. "This means we're one step closer to becoming friends!"
"Oh, for fuck's sake…" Levi facepalmed. "Anyway, Talking about schedules is annoying me. I have a spare calendar in the back. Take it and figure out how to live like an adult, four-eyes."
Hange beamed. "Sure! I'll consider this the first, no second thing, you've done for me as a friend."
"Second?" Nanaba and Levi both asked. Nanaba more amused and Levi more annoyed.
"The coupon! For my first visit! Too bad I come here everyday now!"
"That's just…" he started, "I remembered you from before and realized that was your first time ordering. It's for all first-timers whether they say it or I regretfully remember."
"Come off it, Levi. You're not gonna convince her that it was a business transaction." Nanaba reasoned, still sitting on her ass.
"Whatever," Levi sighed. "When you plan your time out make sure you're going by the hour."
"Sure, thing… Levi." She felt weird not saying Mr. Owner. But she was convinced to befriend everyone in this small little shop. And that meant knowing and using everyone's first name.
"Hey, Zo… your phone's been ringing off the hook. I think you should take that." Nanaba pointed out.
She usually left her phone on silent during her mornings to limit how many distractions she has. She reasoned that she couldn't get rid of all of them, but she could try to limit what was around her. That's where she and her officers used pagers to alert them of anything that may happen. Most civilians don't know the codes off the top of their heads, so it's a strategy that worked in Erwin's brain.
"Hello? Moblit?"
"Commander, we need you in the office right now."
"Why didn't you just page me?"
"Commander, this is serious. We need you now. In fact, meet me back down by the warehouse where we found that bullet shell. As soon as you can."
Hanhge got uncharacteristically silent from her usual bubbly self in the teashop. "Okay. Give me at least ten minutes." She hung up.
"Everything okay?" Nanaba asked, worried.
"I don't know.. But I have to leave thirty seconds ago." Hange packed up her laptop and a notebook, the only things she brought with her this time.
Before she left out the door she faked a smile of sunshine, "And tell shorty I said goodbye! See him next time he decides to appear!"
"Hey, where'd shitty glasses go?" Levi asked walking back out to Nanaba with the planner in hand.
"Urgent business, left in a hurry."
"What a waste of my damn time."
"There is one good thing, though."
"What's that?"
"She said to tell shorty she said, 'goodbye'." Nanaba mocked Hange the the best way she could.
"Oh, for fuck's sake!"
Nanaba busted out laughing. This was great. She needed to keep Hange around as long as she could.
A/N:
Chapter Four. Done and can be read by not computers.
This is all I have for the moment. Chapter Five is halfway done. Hopefully can get it up soon.
That being said, if anyone has any memes or jokes that they really like, I really recommend PMing me, because I would like to have the gag trio to have their moments, and I can only find so many memes on my own.
I also hope you're all enjoying this if you made it this far. Thank you for the read!
See you next time!
CB/
