AN: Where do I start? First, I'm sorry I've been gone so long. So so long. I lost so much of my love for Derek and Penelope when the show went the way it did. As a bigger girl, I felt Penelope got shafted again, and it hurt. It hurt to see how the show played out. So I left, I left to re-find myself. I gave up on criminal minds, and in turn, I gave up on the fandom. That's how hurt I was. I needed something I could control. I needed something that I could make real at least to me…. So here it goes, and before I say another word. Thank you. YOU! Yes you. All of you believed in me so much I followed a dream I never knew I had. I am a published author of plus size romance books and now own my own publishing house. I'd never be here if it wasn't for your encouragement. And honestly, I'd never be here if the show didn't take the turn it did. I wanted HEAs for my curvy girls out there. I wanted more than lukewarm Kevin Lynch's. I wanted to believe in the chemistry that Derek and Penelope had could be real and felt AND get an HEA.

Now that it's been some time I have rediscovered my love for Derek and Penelope. No matter what way the show went. And I'm grateful for every single one of you and every single FanFiction I've ever written or read. I've met some lifelong friends on here. People that have changed my life. People that pushed me to hit publish on that first book.

If you're willing to have me still I'm here. I love you and I love Penelope and Derek just as they are.

And thank you. Without your support, this dyslexic learning disability girl would have never followed the path she was meant to be on. Please don't give up on me because I'm not going to give up on Derek and Penelope. In my mind, they will forever be together, and I will make sure to keep that alive.

I can't promise lots of updates since writing is my career and I have so so so many HEAs to tell, but when I'm having a down day or writers block I'll jump back into Penelope and Derek, that is if you'll still have me?

Thank you so much for changing my life. I'd never really be able to explain how much you guys shifted everything for me and how I'll be eternally grateful for the rest of my life.

I love you -

PolHop- and well, I guess if you guys want to know my name, I can let you know in the next chapter. I didn't want to put it and make you guys feel obligated to check it out. I'll leave that up to you. But always know, I am forever grateful for every single one of you. You changed my life.


Where Do We Go (Based on "Where do we go by Lindsey Stirling")

Penelope sat at the team's usual table at the bar, Rossi and Reid right next to her as they drank their cocktails. They'd all just gotten done with a rather large and tiresome case and everyone needed the break. And People was glad for it. Although, if she were honest with herself, something was off. Tonight, felt different, she didn't know what it was, but she knew this was a life changing night. She could feel it in her bones. Call it a weird instinct, but she knew it was there.

Deciding to push it aside for now and chucking it up to the relief of the case being over, Penelope let her eyes scan around the bar. She saw her teammates in all different states; Emily was at the bar getting a drink while chatting up some guy on her left. Will and JayJay were dancing, and then there was Derek.

Derek. Her best friend. Her knight and shining armor. Her everything.

As she watched him grind against if Penelope had to guess early twenty year old girl - as they danced together, she shuddered.

"He's never gonna change, is he?" Rossi laughed, pivoting his head toward Derek and the flavor of the moment he was with.

"You're one to talk, what wife are you on?" Penelope joked, nudging him in the side with her elbow.

A wicked smile formed on Rossi's face that went from ear to ear as he beamed at her. "That's why I'm saying it. It definitely takes one to know one," he laughed again, before taking a drink.

"I'm actually surprised he isn't married and devoiced yet," Reid chimed in, nonchalantly.

"Hey, that's my best friend you're talking about there. Watch it," Penelope growled at the two men.

"No harm here, kitten." Rossi reached out his hand to touch her shoulder. "It's all good. I was just making a statement."

She glared at him. "Not at the expense of my best friend." Over her dead body. She turned to Reid. "And you "

Reid held up his hands. "I was just stating a fact. Based on Rossi's life story and when he started getting married and then divorced, I was merely mentioning I was surprised Morgan hadn't already taken down that same path."

"Hey!" Rossi glared at the kid.

"What?"

"You two hush your mouths." She sent them both a warning before turning back to Derek.

"Whatever you say, Kitten."

As Penelope watched her best friend on the dancefloor, she heard Rossi and Reid start talking about the case they were just on. However, as they went on with their conversation, their words hit her.

And hit her like a ton of bricks, they did.

He's never going to change…. I'm surprised he isn't married and devoiced yet…

Everyone knew of Rossi's younger ways, and even more so everyone at the FBI compared Derek to him. They always said he'd follow in Rossi's footsteps… Penelope found herself laughing at their assumptions time and time again but maybe… maybe…

Penelope watched her best friend on the dance floor. The same best friend she'd had for ten years. He never once changed his ways...

Her breath caught in her throat.

Derek was never going to change.

It was like the wind was knocked out of her all at once.

How could you keep waiting on the sidelines for the one person you loved more than life itself when that person was never going to love you back. They were never going to change their ways.

Ten years… Ten years she waited, and all for nothing.

It was as if everything she'd ever imagined and had planned crashed around her in an instant. Because at this moment as her heart broke at the answer to her unspoken question, she finally got it.

Derek Morgan would never love her like she loved him.

Blood rushed to her ears as Penelope struggled to breathe.

Ten years…

Ten years!

"Kitten?"

Rossi's voice forced her to take a breath, one she hadn't realized she needed. Snapping her attention to him, she swallowed as her head swam with her new found information.

"You okay, Penelope?" Rossi asked again.

"Better than ever," she lied. She knew it was dumb to lie to a profiler, but sometimes it's what you had to do. Given the fact she'd just had every hope and dream she'd ever had involving a life with Derek crash around her, you had to do what you had to do.

She had to get out of there. Penelope glanced to the door before turning back to the two men at the table.

She couldn't think straight. All she knew was, she needed to leave and leave before she made a fool out of herself another moment more. Pulling up her rideshare app on her phone, she requested a driver and told them she'd be a little bit down the street for them to pick her up. Once the ride was ordered, she looked up to see Derek on the dance floor once more as he danced all over another woman.

Swallowing her pain Penelope turned to her team. "I think it's time I head home."

Rossi looked at her, studying her as his eyes moved up and down. "You need a ride?"

"No thanks, stud. I've got it taken care of." She pointed to her phone showing the app.

"You know I hate those things," he growled. "They aren't safe."

"Don't worry my Italian love god, I'll have my finger on the emergency button the whole time. And you all have my location on your phones. I'll be home in no time. You can watch my GPS move."

"I still don't like it." He stood, taking out his wallet to pay, causing Penelope to hold up her hands. "No can do, I've already paid and besides you all need this night to unwind. It was a tough case. I promise to text once I'm home."

"Penelope…"

She leaned over and gave a quick kiss to Rossi's cheek. "I'll be okay, I promise."

He stared at her for a moment before nodding. "I can see you need this time for yourself right now. I get that, but if I don't get a text in the next thirty minutes, you'll be a dead woman. Capeesh?"

A smile spread across her face as she worked on holding back her pain. See, she knew she'd be fine. She might not have Derek by her side, but she always have the love of her team, her family. "Will do."

She said her goodbyes to the rest of the team, deciding it was best to ignore Derek; he wouldn't miss her anyway. That she was sure of more than ever. Before she changed her mind, Penelope grabbed her purse and headed for the door.

The cool air hit her skin as she walked down the sidewalk. With each step she took, she willed herself to not let the tears fall. All she had to do was get home, and then she could mourn. She could take the rest of the night to wallow in self-pity, and then boom, first thing tomorrow morning, she'd be back on her feet, ready to start her life again.

No more pretending.

No more false hope.

No more lonely nights pinning for someone that would never feel the same way she did.

And even though it hurt, and hurt more and more with each step she took, she knew what this meant.

And it was about time.

Tomorrow morning was going to be the first day of the rest of her life. And Penelope was ready. Ten years was a long time, and although it hurt, and it was going to take some time.

She was ready to move on.

As she walked down the road, she heard footsteps behind her, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to rise.

Oh crap. She wasn't even in the rideshare car yet, and Rossi might have been right. Think, Garcia. You can take off your heels and try to stab

"Baby Girl!"

Penelope relaxed the moment she heard Derek's voice. Too bad, a new wave of pain also went through her heart, though. If only she could have gotten home, put up her guards, harden her heart before she faced him again…

Penelope's eyes shot to the night sky. Really you couldn't have given me just one night?

"Baby Girl, hold up, why are you out here by yourself walking home in the dark?" Derek glared at her once he finally caught up.

As Penelope swallowed her pain, she took a deep breath before looking at her Hot Stuff. The one and only love of her life, and pasted the best fake smile on her face she could. "I finally realized it was time for me to go."

Derek looked at his watch. "It's only ten, you got yourself a hot date or are you gonna turn into a pumpkin?" he chuckled, but Penelope saw the worry in his eyes.

With another sigh, she did her best. "Not this time, but you never know. Stranger things have happened. Besides, I bet I'd be a tasty pumpkin if I did turn into one."

Even through the dim street lights, she saw Derek's eyes darken as a wicked smile appeared on his face. "That would be a pumpkin I'd be glad to taste. I bet you'd be savory on my tongue, Baby Girl."

Another pang of pain washed over her. "Wouldn't you like to find out?" she teased, knowing this would be one of the last times she allowed herself to do so.

"One of these days, miss thing, I'm gonna surprise you and take you up on that offer."

If it hasn't happened in the last ten years, it never will…

Penelope's heart clenched as she resigned herself for the last time. "I've never been the religious type," she started, making Derek cock his head to the side at her remark. "I'd call myself more of a spiritual universe person, you know? But there is one thing I've always come back to. As we're growing up, we're told it will always work out. Everything will be fine. We're gonna be the one to make it. You know, don't worry, just have faith all that crap…" She scoffed, wrapping her arms around herself as the chill of the night overtook her.

God, she was so stupid, and to have wasted ten good years of her life…

"Penelope?"

Instead of looking at him, she continued, "What do you do once the prayers and requests you've made finally get their answer, and that answer is no?"

Derek's hand found her chin, pulling it up so she was looking in his eyes. "Pen, I don't understand."

Oh God, why was this so hard?

A short chuckle escaped her as she shook her head, pulling out of his grasp. "Neither do I."

Just as Derek opened his mouth, a car appeared next to them as the window rolled down. "Penelope Garcia?"

Penelope looked at her app, checked the car to make sure it was correct and looked back at the driver. "Thomas?"

"At your service," the young drive said with a smile on his face.

"What the hell?" Derek pulled Penelope into his side.

Damn you, Universe. If you had just given me an extra five minutes.

Penelope took a calming breath before she reached up on her toes. This was her one and only shot, and she was going to take it. She did the one thing she'd always wanted to do, she kissed Derek lightly on the lips all the while pouring everything she felt into it. After a brief moment, she pulled away, and the shock she saw in Derek's eyes, was enough confirmation. She knew she'd made the right choice.

That wouldn't be the reaction if someone you were in love with finally kissed you.

Nope.

A small smile appeared on her face as she mustered all her strength to say her next words, "When the answer is no, you take a deep breath, right your shoulders, pick up the pieces and move on."

Derek's brows pulled together as he still looked at her in shock.

As she looked at the expression, a mix of shock and horror on his face, she knew. This was goodbye. She'd still be there for him, still be his best friend, she'd still come running whenever he needed her…. But this.

This was goodbye.

This was the end of Penelope Garcia being madly in love with Derek Morgan. No matter how long it took for her to believe those words, she knew it had to end, and it had to end tonight.

When you've got your answer, prolonging the inevitable would only end up leading to more heartbreak and pain.

This was ripping off that band-aid. It sucked, but it had to be done.

"Go have fun, Hot Stuff, I'll see you later." She stepped out of his arms and opened the back door to the car, but not before turning back to Derek once more. "I love you, Derek Morgan, you are one of the best men I know. Never forget that. Now go have yourself a good time."

Quickly she plopped herself in the seat and told Thomas to go. Thomas must have figured something huge had just happened since he speed off before she even had her seatbelt on.

Thank you, Universe, at least you did something right tonight.

Once they were down the street, Thomas looked in the rearview mirror at her. "I know it's none of my business, but are you okay, ma'am?"

Was she?

No.

Not right now, but she would be.

"Yeah." Penelope gave him a sad smile. She would be fine. If she could survive her parents dying, being shot, the things she saw on a day-to-day basis, she could do this.

The ride was shot to her apartment, and once they pulled up she handed Thomas his tip.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, his eyes full of concern.

"I will be. Thank you." With that, Penelope turned on her heels and headed home. As she walked the hallway to her apartment, she held her head high as she bravely took each step towards her new life.

A new life that didn't involve being in love with her best friend.


AN: I'm not really sure where this two-shot came from inside of me, but this is the first thing I've written in a long time after some serious issues I've had. I've already written chapter two, I didn't want to post this and leave you hanging, and if you guys like, I can post it tomorrow. That is, if you'll still have me? Honestly, I don't even know if anyone reads fanfiction anymore, especially Penelope and Derek but like I said, I owe you all my career. I wouldn't be here without you. I love you.