AN: Umm, okay, whoa. Wow. Yeah, so I was not expecting that at all! Like at all. First, I had no idea if anyone even read CM D&P anymore, and well, since I was gone so long, I didn't think anyone would care if I came back or not… But besides that, holy moly, see this is why you guys are amazing. If it wasn't for you all, I would have NEVER even thought being an author was it for me. As a severely dyslexic, learning disability person, if anyone had told me 10 years ago I'd be a full-on "what I think" successful author, I would have laughed. And really, I owe so much of that to you guys. I would have never taken that extra step if it wasn't for you. Your support has been unmatched in every single way. And for everyone asking, it's nice to meet you, I'm Molly O'Hare, plus size romance author. Who knows, maybe one day I might even turn some of these stories into published novels, some of them would be loads of fun to expand on and really have them come to life. I don't really know what the world has in store for me, but I do know I am damn grateful for every single one of you. Hell, I owe my whole career to you. Feel free to add me on Facebook or hang out in my reader group there if you'd like. I'm still going to pop around on here, I promise. I mean if it wasn't for this fandom, who knows where I'd be or what I'd be doing. But I have to say posting this story yesterday, it felt like coming home. You guys, this fandom, all of it, is like home to me.

Love you all,

PolHop


Derek stared at the brake lights as the card Penelope got in drove away. What the hell had just happened? He didn't know what to make of it. Actually, he didn't know what to make of anything.

There he was less than five minutes ago dancing with some random chick to let off some steam, and then everything changed the moment he looked up at the table and saw his baby girl gone. In the pit of his stomach, he knew something was wrong. And it was confirmed when he realized Rossi was glaring at him before jutting his chin to the door.

It all happened so fast. In an instant, Derek was out of there, running down the street toward Penelope who had ended up less than a block away from the bar.

There were so many things going through this head, he didn't know where to start. First, why in the hell would she ever leave the bar at night without one of the team to take her home?

Penelope knew better.

He was going to strangle her beautiful neck…

What the actual fuck? Penelope Garcia, head analyst for the BAU got in the car with a damn strange and just drove off.

Drove. Off.

His heart pounded in his chest as he couldn't stop his mind from playing out what could happen to her. What if that guy was —

In a split second, it was as if his profile brain started working again.

She'd kissed him. Not like their playful kisses they'd shared in the past no, this wasn't that at all. This was more. That kiss wasn't a kiss like you'd kiss your best friend. No, that kiss was a kiss he'd never allowed himself to dream of.

That kiss was a beginning and an ending all at the same time.

No, this was—

Oh, fuck.

Blood rushed to his ears as his mind raced. That was a goodbye kiss. That was the, this is the ending kiss.

I love you, Derek Morgan.

Her words replayed in his mind as he aimlessly stared at the empty street. That was a kiss you'd give a lover you no longer saw yourself with anymore. One of those one last time, goodbye kisses that held so much emotion that you could choke on it. A breakup kiss that would pain someone for the rest of their life.

One of those kisses—

"No!"

As his own voice started him, his body came to life. No, this wasn't the end, and he didn't give a shit what he had to do to fix it. But before he could even think of that, he needed to remember priory number one right now.

Garcia got in a car with a complete stranger.

Jesus fucking Christ, she got in a car with a stranger! He couldn't fix whatever just broke between them if she was dead. For fuck's sakes.

Before he knew it, Derek took off like a bat out of hell. Searching for his keys in his pocket, he jumped into his SUV. When he looked in his rearview mirror did he saw the girl he was dancing with walk out of the bar.

And honestly, he didn't give two shits.

He needed to get to Penelope.

Besides, she paled in comparison to Penelope. His best friend, his one and only. His once in a lifetime. He'd decided a long time ago he'd rather have as a best friend than fuck it up and lose her forever. Sure, at times it sucked, but he dealt with it.

He had to.

A life without Penelope wasn't a life for him.

Derek didn't think he'd ever driven so fast in his life. Before he knew it, he was at her apartment screeching into a parking spot before running up the stairs and down the hall to her front door.

She had to be in there. She had to be safe.

Dear God, he was gonna wring her neck for being so stupid and then kiss the ever-loving crap out of her. The way he should have when she'd kissed him.

He used his key and threw open her front door. "Penelope!"

When he heard her scream from her bedroom, his heart leaped in his chest.

She was safe.

He never thought he'd be so thrilled to see a clearly pissed Penelope walking out of her room, glaring at him, ready to tear him apart. Her hand over her chest, like she'd been shot.

God, that fire! He loved her fire.

"What the absolute hell are you doing, Derek Morgan? You better have a damn good reason for just showing up here and barging in like you owned the place."

The fire in her eyes only urged him on. Dear lord, what if something had happened and he never got to see that fire in her again? This reckless beautiful woman was going to be the death of him.

She got in the car with a complete stranger! His emotions he'd figure out in a minute, but right now…. He was going to murder her himself. "You got in the car with a stranger. How could you be so stupid? You know the kind of shit we see on a daily basis. How could you have been so naïve?" he spat, taking a step closer to her. "What if something happened to you? What if—"

"Nothing happened to me, Morgan." Penelope's whole faced hardened as her hand shot to her hip. "I will give you one chance and one chance only to apologize for how you just spoke to me."

"No." He took another step. "How in the fuck could you have just got in the car with him? What if he was a murderer? What if he assaulted you? You know better, Garcia."

"Derek Morgan, I'm warning you, you're walking a dangerous path right now," she growled, her eyes hard as she focused on him.

As he watched her, he couldn't help but realize this was new. This wasn't his, I fucked up I need to make it up to her. No this was more. This was—

Penelope let out a small huff as she shook her head before taking a deep breath. "And here I thought this was going to be hard. Funny how you just made this a hell of a lot easier for me."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Derek took another step closer to her, but instead of that fire he expected, he got something else. Penelope turned inside herself, he could see the moment her walls started to build around her.

"Nothing, Morgan."

Oh, hell no. No, no, no.

The blood rushed to his head as his heart raced. "That's not a good enough answer. Jesus Penelope, you got in a car with a stranger."

"People do it every day."

"You aren't people, and you know it."

Penelope's brows pulled together as her eyes narrowed on him. "What about the women you pick up from the bar and take home? Aren't they strangers?"

"That's not the same thing."

A pained laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head. "Never gonna change."

"What the hell does that mean? You don't even make sense." Damn it, this was going all wrong.

That's when he saw it. Derek watched as something he could only describe as resignation run across Penelope's face.

No. This isn't done.

"Nothing, Hot stuff. I'm sorry." Looking away from him, she walked over to her couch, her fire, her passion, the Penelope he knew and loved was gone. "I didn't mean for me leaving to pull you away from the bar."

"That's not why I'm upset¬—"

"And you're right. I know better than getting in a car with a stranger, even though those ride-sharing apps are pretty vetted. It wasn't my best move, but I'm home now. I'm safe. You can go on back and have your fun. I promise as soon as you leave, I'll triple lock the door and even put a chain in front of it if it makes you feel better."

No, that wouldn't make him feel better. Nothing would make him feel better. Hell, right now, he was still trying to make sense of everything.

The look on her face…

That was the look of someone saying goodbye. The look of someone that was saying things were changing.

He couldn't go on another moment longer as he remembered what she mentioned on the street. "What answer was no?"

Derek watched as Penelope sat back on her couch, closing her eyes before taking a deep breath. After a few seconds, she looked up at him, her walls around her slightly down. "You know when you're younger, each wave that crashes into you, you just get back up and keep going. You say you'll figure it out. It's all gonna be okay. It has to work out. That's just how the world worked. But after a while, those waves keep on crashing, day after day. As we're in the middle of the ocean, doing our best to survive, we think we're swimming to some lighthouse. Some salvation. Then out of nowhere, another wave hits you and you realize you aren't swimming anymore. You realize you can stand. And at that moment you notice you can stand, you finally turn around and see the shore was right behind you all along. You were just too blinded by the lighthouse to see it. Your own salvation was right there this whole time. You just didn't' know it, but now you do."

"Penelope? I don't, I don't understand," his voice softened as he spoke.

"That's the funny thing about saving yourself, hot stuff. No one else needs to understand."

At her words, it was like the world crashed around him all at once. "It kinda feels like I do. It feels like I'm a part of this wave as well. Like this is goodbye."

"I'm not going anywhere, hot stuff.

He took a step closer to her. "I can feel it."

"You won't even realize it in time."

"Penelope. No, you don't understand." He took the last step, so he stood in front of her. When she looked up at him, the sadness in her eyes nearly gutted him.

"Derek, I think it's best if you leave. It'll be better this way."

"Better for who?"

This killed him. Every second of this killed him.

Her voice was so quiet he could barely hear her. "Me."

With that, he snapped. He reached for Penelope, pulling her off the couch and into his arms. "You're wrong."

That's when he kissed her. He kissed her the way he should have kissed her when she'd kissed him. He poured everything he had into their kiss. The years of wanting more and pushing it aside, the pain, the regret, the love.

All of it.

Words weren't going to work. Not this time.

This wasn't goodbye.

This was only the beginning.


AN: I know this kinda leaves off at a weird note, but I thought it was fitting. An unknown beginning. A fresh start. They both have a lot of pain to work through. Maybe I'll write a third chapter. But there is something inside of me that likes this ending. A beginning to something when all hope was lost. As you all know, I'm HEA all the time, no matter what. So take that as you will.

I just… I love you guys. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for sticking by my side. Thank you for still having me. I'm not giving up on Derek and Penelope, and I'm not giving up on you and the relationship we have. Sure, most of my time is spent publishing now, but I'm still here. I'm the same ole PolHop I've always been, and if you'll still have me, I'm here not just in this fandom but in real life, giving people their HEAs just like our Penelope should have gotten.