Of all of Beth's children it seemed like it was her girls that were put on this earth to test her.
Her first pregnancy, with Kenny had been a breeze, sure there was the usual morning sickness but nothing too bad. She had loved being pregnant, everyone telling her how she glowed, the excitement of bringing a new life into the world. It was an amazing time in her life that she wouldn't have changed.
Choosing to have a second child had seemed crazy at the time considering Kenny wasn't even out of diapers yet but Dean wanted to have their kids close in age, someone to grow with, and Beth had wanted that too. Not that she didn't love Annie but with there being such a huge age gap she had fallen into the mother role to her.
No.
That wasn't what she wanted for her Kid's.
Just,two years after Kenny's birth, Danny came into the world and put an end to her child bearing days.
Or so she thought.
Emma was a...welcome surprise. Her and Dean definitely hadn't planned another child, they were just coping with the two boys when Beth found herself pregnant with Emma.
God it was the worst timing, Dean had just taken over his father's car lot officially and was spending more and more hours at the office and Beth was flirting with opening her own little online craft store as a way to bring in more money, something Dean was apposed to. Another child would put a strain on them financially but Beth knew it was manageable.
Just.
So less than a year after Emma's birth, at a routine doctors appointment, to find out she was expecting again was one of the biggest shocks of her life.
It should have been impossible, Dean had assured her after Emma he was going to have a vasectomy, she'd even played nurse after as he acted like he'd lost a limb.
Put the point was no more baby Bolands in her future.
Turns out Dean hadn't gone through with the operation, chickening out at the last second but didn't known how to tell Beth.
She thought it was a pretty easy conversation, "Hey honey, you remember how I said I was gonna get a vasectomy after you went through 32 hours of labour with our daughter? Well funny story but I didn't go through with it so we'll need to be more diligent with birth control."
Simple.
Except to Dean.
Her pregnancy with Jane had been hellish. She was tired all the time. There hadn't been the same joy that surrounded her other pregnancies but she powered through knowing that when she seen her baby it would all be worth it.
Only it wasn't.
She loves Jane. It's the same love she feels for all her kids, this all encompassing love that cannot be put into words. But for the first few weeks of Jane's life it was hard to remember that.
After an emergency c section caused by being diagnosed with pre-eclampsia, the first few weeks were hellish. Dean had taken time of from the dealership to help with the kids but the 2 weeks had flown in and suddenly she was alone. The mother of 3 young kids and a newborn, after just having major surgery.
If it wasn't for Ruby and Annie she wouldn't have survived.
Literally.
They had worked out a rota so that Beth seen at least one of them a day. They'd came by with casserole (Ruby), and take out (obviously Annie), they'd help with the kids or around the house, whatever she needed they were there for her.
So why did she still feel so alone?
Turns out she had post natal depression.
It had been months before anyone had figured out that she wasn't as put together as she'd like them to believe. Ultimately it was Ruby that had gotten her the help she so desperately needed, Dean hadn't even noticed a change in her.
Beth should have realised then that her marriage was doomed.
For months she had felt so alone, like a boat adrift at sea that was about to be swallowed by a wave at any moment and her husband hadn't noticed.
The man who was supposed to be her partner, who was meant to love her, protect her, didn't even notice that she went days without showering and could hardly look at Jane.
There sex life was all but dead after Jane. A couple of quick fumbles through the years when she was feeling particularly guilty about how much she wasn't having sex with her husband, summed up her sex life.
At least she didn't have to worry about getting pregnant.
Well until she fucked her crime leader boss in a bathroom that is. And then again in her marital bed. And then shot him.
It was a weird few months.
Beth hadn't planned on faking a miscarriage it just sort of happened.
OK well, it didn't sort of happen, she knew what she was saying but when she had first told Rio about her pregnancy, yeah it was to save her life don't judge her, but she had every intention of sticking around for the pregnancy and becoming the most fucked up family since the Mansons.
Then he'd killed Lucy.
Beth wasn't naive enough to think that Rio had never taken a life before, you didn't become player 1 without having blood on your hands. She just hadn't realised how much he seemed to enjoy it.
With a nod of his head, Lucy was dead.
He didn't even spare Lucy a glance as Mick put a bullet in her head.
No.
He'd stared at Beth the entire time, watching as she flinched at the sound of the gun going off, the silent tears that had streamed down her face at the loss of Lucy.
Innocent and naive Lucy.
Her hand had went to her stomach is if to shield her unborn child from the chaos surrounding her. Of course Rio had caught the movement and if anything it made him more enraged.
Not that you'd be able to tell on the outside, no he was his cool, calm self but she could see it in his eyes.
The resentment.
The rage.
All directed at her.
She wasn't sure if it was at the fact she was pregnant or the fact that Rio couldn't have Mick put a bullet in her head that enraged him so but in that moment Beth knew she'd do anything to keep him away from her child.
The sweet innocent new life that she was bringing into this world didn't get to be tainted by the blood on Rio's hands. Or on her own.
So she done what she done best.
Made an outrageous plan.
The type of plan that only existed in her head but was still colour coordinated and had multiple threads but all working towards the same goal.
Her child's freedom.
"When?"
The question had thrown Beth. Of course she had her story all worked out in her head, she was Beth Boland, serial liar.
She'd even gone over it, time and time again so she wouldn't trip herself up.
Beth had been having some stomach cramps on and off for days but thought it was just early pregnancy niggles, until she started bleeding. Ruby drove her to the free clinic where they had confirmed she had lost the baby. It was just one of those things. Nothing they could have done.
But none of that came to mind when Rio had asked.
Not when he touched her, trying to stop her drinking the tequila shot (sorry baby but one drink in the long run is worth it) but all she could picture was the last time he had his hands on her, touching her softly, the night she killed him.
"Does it matter?"
"Alright then." He seemed to hesitate before downing his glass.
"So what happens next?"
"Nothing good." Rio said almost regretfully.
"How much would it cost?"
They both know what she's talking about. How much is her life worth. But that doesn't stop Rio making her say it.
"For?"
"My life."
"Nah we ain't doing that." He dismisses.
"You haven't been in the game for, what, two months? No pills, no cars, no cash? It's gotta hurt."
"You don't know my interests." the not anymore, was left unspoken but Beth hears loud and clear.
"I know they need capital. And your guy could chop me up in a million pieces whenever you want, so what do you got to lose?" Beth hesitates, unsure if she's ready for his answer. "How much am I worth?"
"You couldn't afford it." Rio dismisses not even thinking about it.
"What if I could."
This seems to grab his attention.
Good.
"What, you gonna raid your kids piggy banks? Maybe knock over another store, nah."
"How much."
Rio laughs, but it's not a happy sound. He's mocking her.
"Hmm let me think 'bout it," The sarcasm was clear as day as he continued to mock Beth. "Well for starters we've got my clothes, that shirt alone cost me near $200, Bullet holes ain't really the look I'm going for. Then we gotta add in hospital care. You know its $700 alone just for a ride in the ambulance? Shit if I'd have known that before hand I'd have took a cab. Never mind the 6 days in hospital. Shit, would have been cheaper if I had died."
Beth tries to hide her flinch but she can see the moment he clocks it, the way his smile takes on a menacing air.
He's like a shark that's just smelled the first few drops of blood in the water.
"Now we can't forget about my emotional suffering, 'you know how much it hurts getting shot, damn near killed, by some basic level white bitch," he laughs. "see a real boss would have taken me out, nah you just made sure it hurt like a bitch."
"Memory lane is fun and all, but that's still not a price." Beth said trying to regain the upper hand.
Rio just laughs at her.
"Don't worry darling we'll get there,"
He turns back towards the bar, signaling the young bartender who been hovering near by. He puts in his order before turning to Beth. "You want something? Little liquid courage. You might need it."
Her heart stops.
"I'm fine. Thanks." She tries to smile at the younger man who's watching her eagerly but by the look on his face she wasn't successful.
"Aight, suit yourself."
Beth knows this is all part of the game he likes to play. The let's see how long it takes Beth to crack game. It seems to be a favourite of his.
Beth watches him as he swirls the new drink around the glass, seemingly in no rush.
"How much you think your life's worth." he asks almost absent mindedly, watching the auburn coloured liquid in his glass.
"I-" Beth started but had no idea what to say.
"Yeah," Rio laughed lightly still not looking at her. "See, your not asking me to put a price on your life, your asking me to put a price on mine."
God, he was right. Beth knew it but wouldn't, couldn't voice her thoughts. Something about his demeanor made her hesitate, he seemed so... Tired.
"$100,000. I'll be in touch." Rio said abruptly like he had to push the words out his mouth before he had a chance to change his mind.
He quickly downed the still full drink before sauntering over to the door and Mick.
Beth watched their interaction and Rio leaving, without a backwards glance, but it was through a clouded mind.
$100,000, that was it? This coming from a man that probably owner watches more expensive than that. She didn't know what to think.
Lucky she was saved from her own thoughts by her new shadow.
"Let's go." Mick muttered, barley looking at her.
"I want another drink." Beth replied on auto pilot.
OK, so she didn't want another drink (lies, she wanted to drown herself in alcohol but wouldn't until her baby was brought safely into the world.) but she was sick of men thinking they could tell her what to do.
"Yeah I don't care, you either get a ride with me or you call an Uber cause I'm going home."
Wait. What
"Wait. What? Home, as in... Your home?"
"Well I sure as shit don't class your place home, no matter how nice the neighbours are."
"So I'm no longer in need of a babysitter or is it just changing of the guard? "
Mick looked at her then, like really looked at her, the type of look that made you feel naked and uncomfortable.
"Boss doesn't think you need to be watched no more."
Thank god.
"I think only a stupid man wouldn't keep an eye on you 24/7 and I ain't ever seen Rio be stupid. 'cept when it comes to you."
"Huh?"
Mick shook his head clearly done with her. "Get your shit or I'm going without you."
Knowing he wasn't one for empty threats, none of Rio's boys were, Beth scuttled after him.
God it was a weird night
"So we're lying to gand friend again?"
"To be fair, have we ever been straight with gang friend?" Ruby mused while sipping at her wine.
Beth was only slightly jealous about the alcohol being consumed around her.
OK. That was a lie, god she missed bourbon, she drunk bourbon more than water most days.
Yeah.
She had a problem. But considering her life, it was necessary.
Beth sighed for what felt like the hundredth time.
"No. I lied to gang friend. You just need to not mention anything pregnancy related."
"Because I'm always working pregnancy questions into the conversation." Annie muttered sarcastically. "Oh hi Rio! Are we hoping for a bouncing baby boy to take over daddy's criminal empire."
"Technically he already has one."
Annie nodded at Ruby, "That's a good point! But come on, you've met that kid, he's scarily nice, like helping old ladies cross the street nice. Kid gives Ben a run for his money."
"Maybe he'd want a girl." Ruby mused. "You know, one of each."
"It doesn't matter what he wants," Beth snapped, not wanting to entertain the thought of Rio with a baby, her baby. "As far as he's concerned this baby is dead."
"You sure this is a good idea B?" Ruby, forever the voice of reason asked. "I mean, he's done some messed up things but he is still the father."
"What he's a perfect father because he takes his kid to the park? He only done that to get us on another hook. From what Rhea has said he's an absent father, constantly dropping in and out of their lives." Beth tried to defend her decision.
Ruby looked incredulous. "I didn't say he was a perfect father, hell or even a good father but he is the father."
"I'm doing this."
Ruby just stared at Beth, both understanding and imploring.
"You think he's not going to notice the bump? Or when you magically produce a kid that comes out in a bomber jacket and beanie?" Annie butted in.
"If any meets crop up I'll handle then until I'm showing too much and then you and Ruby can take over, by the time this baby comes I'll have gotten him out of our lives again."
"Gonna put another 3 bullets in him and still miss every major organ." Annie snarked. "This baby is the only thing stopping him from putting a bullet in you."
"We've worked it out."
"That's reassuring." Annie rolled her eyes.
"Trust me."
"That's what got us into this mess in the first place."
"Excuse me?"
She was not going to put this all on Beth. If anything this was all on Annie! She was the one with the stupid idea to rob the store in the first place.
"It all started when you left those pearls."
The pearls that she'd never gotten back.
She'd never really considered it before, always assumed that he'd pawned them, they had belonged to Dean's grandmother, a wedding present from her mother in law, a sort of welcome to the family. She remembered how heavy they had felt around her neck as she walked down the Isle. More like a noose that a necklace and she was walking to her execution. Now. Now she wasn't sure what he'd down with the pearls, it's not like he needed the money. Maybe he gave them to one of his other women.
The thought made her shudder.
"It started," Beth stressed. "When you thought up that stupid plan to rob the store where you worked."
"And we were free after Canada but you had to go back from more!"
"We needed the money!"
"You needed the excitement!" Annie screeched. "You got tired of playing house wife and now your playing mob wife."
"So all of this is because I was what, bored?" Beth asked incredulously.
"Yes!"
Beth laughed but it was a hollow feeling knowing this is what her sister and best friend thought of her.
"Nobody dragged you along Annie. You made the choice the same as the rest of us."
"That's the point. I didn't. You did. You chose to go back, dragging us along for the ride."
Beth was stunned silent.
"Okay... Well this took a turn," Ruby muttered eyeing the two sisters warily. "Why don't we chill and watch real housewives."
"So you agree with Annie?"
"I didn't say that!" Ruby's eyes bugged out.
"But you didn't disagree."
Ruby sighed. "Look B, yeah, you didn't ask us before signing up for a life of crime but we didn't tell you no afterwards, we went along with you. We all needed the money, hell this saved my daughters life and I'm never gonna be sorry for that."
"This," Beth said gesturing to her stomach. "means I'm out but you guys don't need to be."
"I'm out." Ruby said. "We saved Sara that's all I wanted everything else was just pudding."
"You know I'm not doing this alone, I'd say something stupid and gang friend would kill me on the first day." Annie said.
"She's not wrong." Ruby muttered causing the 3 of them to laugh.
"Guys you don't have to do this for me." Beth tried to implore them, she knew they still needed the money.
"We're not. We're doing it for us."
"Yeah, bout time we were good girls again." Annie grinned
The next few weeks flew by, the morning sickness (all day sickness), had eased up and they had put a small dent in the money for Rio. Ultimately deciding to wash their own cash, now Rio was back adding a new anomaly was just too much of a risk. It was more time consuming but Beth wasn't willing to risk it.
Overall it was a quiet time for them, if anything that set Beth more on edge. Things were running too smoothly but she didn't have time to dwell on that, she was onto her next problem.
How do you tell your husband your pregnant with the man who shot him' baby.
Yeah.
Hallmark didn't exactly make cards for these moments.
At nearly 20 weeks Beth knew it was past time to tell Dean but she was fighting a battle daily at 'work' trying print the money as fast as she could, she didn't want to do it at home as well.
Beth had thought it was better to have the kids out the house when they had the conversation and Judith was more than happy to take them, probably just to show Beth up again but she was past caring now. That women had raised Dean. She wasn't perfect clearly.
With the kids gone she'd made the effort to make Dean's favourite meal for dinner to ease the news slightly.
While she knew how much Dean loved her homemade tacos she doubted they'd sooth this ale.
"What's all this." Dean spoke surprising Beth. She had thought she'd have more time to prepare her speech.
"Your home early."
Dean eyed the half layed table with a small smile. "Yeah slow day so my manager let me go early."
"That was nice of her."
His smile dimmed. "Yeah, where are the kids?"
"Your mom asked if she could have them for a few hours so I thought it would give us time to talk."
"Sounds good, just let me get freshened up."
Beth smiled in agreement getting back to setting the table.
- - -
Dean took the news surprisingly well. Nothing like Beth had imagined.
Considering he had purchased a shotgun when he first found out Rio was alive she figured the idea of her having Rio's baby would give him a coronary.
Dean had been stunned. More that she could keep if hidden from him for that long but he wholeheartedly agreed with her plan to keep Rio out of the babies life and promised to be there when they told the kids.
"We could say it's mine." Dean offered.
"He's not stupid, he'd know."
"What's he going to do? He'd have no rights, I'm your husband, legally that's my baby."
Beth snorted, "Kill us both and take the baby? He's not really someone you get away with taking something that belongs to him."
"You did. I mean, you put three bullets in him and your still alive. He clearly has a soft spot for you."
"I'm his rotten egg, eventually he'll handle me."
Of this she had no doubt. That's why she couldn't make herself easy to find.
"What?"
"Nothing." Beth smiled. "The quicker I can raise the 100 grand, the quicker all this is over."
She'd thought about it, even if she worked day and night she'd never be able to raise the funds before she gave birth. At this rate she'd need to rob fine and frugal again and still have more to pay.
" The FBI have released the car lot, that should get us the money."
"We don't have enough money to get back up and running and even if we did we'd need to sell a rediculous amount of cars to make the money."
"I don't mean selling cars, we could sell the lot."
Beth paused taken back by Dean's offer. "Dean, Boland motors has been in your family for generations, we're not selling it to get me out of this screw up."
"I started this, Beth," Dean said sadly. "I was the one that forced you into this Life. You did what you did because I have you no other choice."
"I chose to do this. I got into bed with Rio, not you."
Wrong choice of words Beth realised to late as she seen Dean wince.
"Because I got our family into debt."
Beth didn't know what to say. Dean wasn't wrong.
Dean seemed to realise this. "It's the only way out of this, it's what I should have done to start with and then maybe I'd still have my family."
"We'll always be family, " Beth was adamant about that. "We have 4 little people that connect us."
"But you won't always be my wife."
"I-" What was she supposed to say to that? Of course we should stay married, we've both had affairs we're even now? Let's raise the man who shot you, coincidentally the guy that I shots baby together?
No?
Beth settled on, "I think we've both known for a while our marriage was over, we just didn't want to admit it to ourselves."
Dean was tearing up and Beth would have to be heartless not to feel anything in that moment. She'd spent most of her life with Dean Boland, and despite what Annie thought, it wasn't all bad.
"So this is it huh?"
Beth cleared her throat. "Yeah, I guess it is."
"I want you and the kids to keep the house, I'll find an apartment near by." Dean said after a beat.
Beth had thought about it and before she would have bitten Dean's hand off at the offer but now everything had changed. If she really wanted a clean break from Rio and everything associated with him, she couldn't afford to keep the house.
"I need a clean break, somewhere he won't look for me and I won't always be expecting him to turn up."
Beth didn't need to say who he was.
"That's probably a good idea." Dean said somewhat resigned.
"You should keep the house, it would cost us more to sell it anyway. Plus at least the kids will still have some normality."
"I don't know if I could stay here alone. We bought this house for our family."
Beth reached over the table to take deans hands in hers. "We'll be a family no matter where we are."
And for the first time in weeks, Beth didn't feel alone.
Boland motors sold quicker than anyone anticipated. Beth had expected the sale of the lot to be tied up for months, but the realtor had found a buyer fairly fast, they didn't seem to mind the fact it was raided up police not too long ago, in fact they seen it as a way to pay way below retail value but Beth was desperate to get on with her life so Dean accepted the offer.
All going well they'd have the money in a few weeks, once attorneys had gone over everything. It was a huge weight off of Beth's mind.
Beth and Dean had decided to wait until the papers were filed before telling the kids. Which was a good thing concerning it turns out it takes surprisingly long to get a divorce, even when both parties were playing ball.
The fact she was having another man's baby didn't speed things up.
After their talk, things between them had settled in to a rhythm, both wanted the best for their kids and knowing staying together wasn't that. There were still things to hash out, like who gets christmas and what about birthdays but Beth was confident they could handle it.
Annie and Ruby had thought she wasn't serious about the divorce, they'd been through this with Beth before, until they seen a letter from the lawyers office confirming the agreed upon terms.
Beth doesn't think she's ever seen Annie so happy.
Telling the kids about the baby and divorce in the same conversation was a bad decision on Beth's part she could admit that but I seemed better to spring the two pieces of news on the kids at the same time.
The younger kids we're excited to be getting a baby brother or sister. Well, Emma did demand if it was a girl to call it Elsa, which then turned into all the other kids shouting names out. Kenny looked as though he'd rather eat nails than have another sibling.
Telling them that mommy and daddy where getting a divorce, well that didn't go over as well.
"But you're having another baby." Danny said looking between the two, his face filled with confusion.
Beth's heart broke for him, her sweet boy, he'd always been the most sensitive out of all her kids.
"Things have been strange for a while now I know," Beth soothed. "Daddy and I still love each other very much but most importantly we both love you all sooo much! And we feel that this is the right thing for us as a family.".
Dean nodded energetically. "Yeah, guys come on, think about it. 2 birthdays, 2 Christmas, 2 bedrooms."
"More presents?" Jane asked clearly intrigued by the idea.
Dean scoffed. "Of course."
"Okay." She shrugged as if it was no big deal.
Oh to be that young and innocent again.
"Tara Harris' mommy and daddy got a divorce and then her daddy moved away and married a new mommy and now she's got 2 mommy's, are we gonna get another mommy." Emma rambled.
"Nope, just 1 mommy and 1 daddy."
"But dad is gonna move out." Kenny butt in.
Beth knew he'd be the one to take this the hardest, he was older than his siblings. "Actually we've decided that I'll move out, I've been looking for a place closer to your school."
Not technically a lie, she just didn't mention how she'd had no luck within her price range.
"Why you, why not dad?"
"We just decided it would be better if I moved out."
"So we're staying with dad."
"No buddy, I'll pick you up from school on the Friday and keep you all weekend and then mom will pick you up from school on the Monday. You'll have 2 homes." Dean chimed in.
"That's so cool! I'm gonna tell everyone I get 2 bedrooms." Beth winced thinking of the gossip Jane's deceleration would bring.
"No its not, this is stupid!" Kenny yelled.
"Watch your tone." Beth tried to scold him.
"Everything was just going back to how it was before, dad isn't sleeping in my room anymore, you seemed happier, why are you ruining everything! We're supposed to be a family."
Kenny yelled at a stunned Beth and Dean. It wasn't that what he was saying was a lie it's just Beth had never realised he'd seem so much. She just hoped this didn't cause him to start gorging g on food again.
"Buddy we've tried-"
"Try harder!"
"Kenny." Beth said in her 'mom' voice, causing Kenny to turn his hateful gaze on her. "Your father and I have made our choice and you need to deal with that."
"What about the baby? Doesn't it change your mind."
Beth sighed. "Your father isn't the baby's father."
"So what? You cheated on dad and got knocked up and now he's kicking you out."
Beth was floored. She hadn't expected him to draw that conclusion, but given the facts how could he think any different.
"Okay that's enough, go to your room." Dean snapped seeing how upset Kenny was making the other kids.
"But-"
"No buts, get up the stairs. I'll come talk to you later."
Kenny huffed but ultimately done as his father asked.
Dean cheated on her for years, with multiple women and she's the adulteress. Figured Beth rolled her eyes.
"Who wants ice cream." Dean cheered making the 3 remaining kids perk up.
3 months after striking the deal with Rio, Beth finally had the money.
Apart from the occasional text reminding her what she owed, she hadn't seen him since that night in the bar.
She wasn't particularly looking forward to seeing him (liessss) but God she wanted this done and out of the way.
So of course Rio had to be difficult
Beth had, had the money ready for days, the black duffle bag in the boot of her car just taunting her.
She'd expected him to jump at the chance to get the money and finally be rid of her, she'd texted him the morning after Dean gave her the money, expecting a reply with a time to meet, like usual, except this would be it, the last drop, then it would be all over.
She'd be done.
She was wrong.
R: Busy
One word.
That's all she got.
No matter how many texts she sent him Beth got no other reply.
That was days ago and Beth was beyond done with waiting on Rio, why did all the men in her life have to be so damn stubborn.
Well two could play that game.
So she went to the only place she knew to reach him now.
Luckys.
It had seemed like the 'boss bitch' thing to do at the time but actually sitting in her 'mama van' in luckys parking lot she felt her earlier determination waver.
Looking down at her 'bump' she tried to gauge how noticeably it stuck out in her oversized coat.
Honestly for nearing 24 weeks she wasn't as big as with her other kids, you could most certainly tell she'd put on weight but it just looked like she'd been on the big mac diet rather than pregnancy. The obstetrician was worried about the amniotic fluid level surrounding the Baby at her last prenatal appointment, and had told Beth she might have to deliver early. Beth was trying not to dwell on it and had been trying to follow the advice she'd been given.
It just gave her and even bigger reason to get this part of her life wrapped up before the baby made an appearance.
She reached for the door handle before she could second guess herself. Stepping out of the car she took a minute to calm herself, her hand ran over her stomach on instinct as she felt the butterfly like feelings in her stomach.
This is where her lie begun. It wasn't going to be where it ended Beth thought grabbing the duffle.
Steeling her nerves she made her way across the abandoned parking lot.
"We're closed." a voice she didn't recognise called from behind the bar.
"I'm not here for a drink, I'm looking for Rio." Beth tried to come of unaffected but given the weary look the bartender shot her she wasn't too hopeful.
"Up there." He nodded to the staircase.
"Thanks." Beth said with her housewives smile in place.
Beth could hear voices coming from the direction she was headed, the further up the stairs she got the more voices she could hear.
The voice in her head is telling her to turn back, this is crazy but she snuffs it out.
She reaches the top of the stairs and has caught the attention of some of the guys but not Rio. He's sitting at a table in the far corner laughing at something Mick had said until one of the guys closest to him that noticed her entrance points her out.
His gaze swings to her, all traces of humour vanish as he takes her in, in takes Everything in Beth not to fidget , not to drop her had to her small bump and cradle it like she would in any other situation.
Needing a reprieve from his hot gaze, she looked straight ahead.
"Elizabeth." That voice, the one she only hears in her dreams now, calls out. "Wasn't aware we had a meeting."
"Well I was in the neighbourhood, figured I'd stop in and say hi."
Rio shot her a smirk as he dismissed his boys with a nod of his head.
How many head nod commands did they have?
"I've got your money." Beth said when they were alone. Well with the exception of Mick who was now there unofficial 3rd wheel.
"Told you I was busy ma."
"Luckily this will only take a few seconds." Beth said handing the bag over.
Rio took it and nodded to Mick who came and took the bag from his boss and started counting it.
Beth really began to wonder about how effective the head nods were. It was freaky how much that conveyed.
"Take a seat." Rio took his seat at the table again gesturing for her to do the same.
"I've not got time to stop."
Liar, you just don't want to stop, her mind supplied.
Rio did that head tilt that infuriated her, it was like he was amused by her. "Wasn't a request."
Beth slunk across the space, trying to gauge his mood.
"Been a while, you look good ma, how's the husband and kids?"
Beth's hands unconsciously began smoothing down her coat, running her hands over the bump concealed beneath before she knew what he was doing. Quickly righting herself Beth snorted. "We're good, Jane's missing Marcus, it's all I hear about."
Rios smile turns hard at the mention of the boy. "Yeah, Marcus was real cut up at losing his new friend. Keeps asking his mom about playdates and shit."
"I'd be happy to phone Rhea and set something up." Beth smiled her best PTA worthy smile.
"Yeah, that ain't going to happen."
"Rhea was pretty upset with me."
Rio snorted. "Upset? Shit she was furious, ain't the first time someone's tried to use her to get to me but she wasn't expecting it from some white suburban soccer mom."
While it had initially been about making sure Marcus was okay, Beth couldn't deny that she had genuinely liked Rhea. It was nice to have someone outside of Annie and Ruby to talk to. While she loved her ladies, there was something's she couldn't talk to them about.
"It wasn't about you."
"Oh yeah?" Rio said eying her across the table. "Then what was it about?"
"Marcus." At the mention of his sons name he tensed. "I didn't want him to suffer because of what I'd done."
Rio snorted. "After you killed his old man you mean."
"I couldn't stop thinking about him, I kept imagining my kids if they lost their father, I had to find out if he was okay."
"And what, you'd swoop in and save him with your kids hand me downs."
"No!" Beth protested. "I, I saw him and Rhea at the park one day, I didn't plan it, it felt like fate, that I was meant to be there, I sat down with Rhea and we just got to talking, she was so... Tired, Marcus had been having nightmares, she said he was missing his dad. Missing you, that you did that sometimes, leave without any word and just pop back up, she was so sure of it, talking about how it would be fine in a couple days when you were back but I knew you weren't coming back after what I did so I had to try and find a way to help, I had to stay in her life so I could help her, help Marcus so I gave her my number to arrange a playdate and, I don't know it just kind of spiraled."
Beth rambled, it was like someone had opened the floodgates and now she couldn't stop it all from pouring out. She had thought she was doing the right thing.
Rios face was hard when she plucked up the courage to look at him." So you ain't just trying to take my place in my business, you trying to take my place in my kids life?"
"I just wanted him to be okay!"
"And you think I don't!" Rio roared causing Beth to flinch, she'd never seen him this angry. "Everything I do is to make sure he ain't gonna grow like I did! You know he gotta call me every night now? Keeps thinking I'm gonna up and leave again, has nightmares about me leaving and the only thing that will calm him down is to call me at 3 in the morning. That's on you."
"I didn't want to hurt him." Beth said feeling the tears gather in her eyes. "I just wanted it to stop."
"Cause its always about you." Rio laughed. "You didn't think about what this would do to my kid, my family, nah just you and yours."
"Don't pretend you know me."
"Don't forget, I do."
"Did," She corrected in a low hiss. "Past tense."
Rio laughs mocking her. "Cause you some kinda bad bitch now."
"No, because I know what I want now."
"And what's that?"
"Freedom." Beth said causing him to laugh.
"Oh darling, you a trip."
"I'm serious."
"Me too."
"I don't want this life anymore, I just want to go back."
"Told you this shits medieval, you don't just get to walk away."
"I killed the king didn't I." Beth fired back.
"Next time you best make sure I stay dead."
"There isn't going to be a next time! I want out. I'm done."
"See, that's what I'm having a hard time with, cause I know you ain't making no 100gs with a part time job but yet, here we are."
Oh if only he knew.
"We sold the business."
"Damn, car man really wanted his little wifey back."
"He's just upset because your supposed to be dead. He liked the poetic justice of me shooting you after you shot him."
"Want me to send him a sympathy card?"
"He'll get over it."
"And if I had been dead, and you did have my kid, what were you planning on telling them?" Rio asked looking like he already knew.
"I, I uh, never really thought about it." Beth stammered clasping her hands on the table so she didn't give herself away.
"Were you and car man gonna raise my baby, make him think its his?" He mocked. "Nah, car man's stupid but he ain't that stupid. Gonna tell junior you killed his pops?"
Beth remained silent.
"No? Hmm probably were gonna get rid, till it was the only thing keeping you alive that night. Couldn't have a little Latino baby, what would the neighbours say."
"Your such a dick." Beth breathed out.
"Yeah? And your a cold hearted bitch darling." Rio spat.
"It's all there." Mick called interrupting there stare off.
"Good. Mick, escort Mrs Boland out."
And like that she was dismissed.
Beth held her head high as she made her way across the room, refusing to look back no matter how much she wanted to.
"Elizabeth." Rio called out freezing her in her tracks. She still, didn't look at him. "Don't come back here."
