Hello, how are you all doing? Sorry that I haven't uploaded in a while, this is a long chapter. It's probably not even going to be the longest one. But who knows what the future holds? Anyway, that's it for this incredibly short Author's Note.

Without any further ado, enjoy!


Go Away!


Lord Liquiir: "Hey. Hey, wake up. Are you alive?" Oh...huh? Liquiir? I see...so that was a dream. "Come on, it's time to get up," he told me while gently tapping the right side of my face. I slowly opened my eyes and looked to my right. "Hey, you are alive!" he exclaimed with a smile. "I was getting a little worried there. I've been trying to wake you up for an entire minute." I sat up and looked down at my lap. I don't feel quite ready to look at him at the moment.

Lord Beerus: "Oh...were you?"

Lord Liquiir: "Yeah. It must have been a good dream, huh?" You could say that. "Ooh, it looks like it was. I can see you blushing!" I clenched my paws. Of course you can. Anyone with even halfway decent eyes can see me blushing. It's this damn lack of fur! He's lucky in that sense. Unless you have the sharpest pair of eyes in the universe, it's impossible to see if his cheeks are burning. He suddenly wrapped his right arm around my shoulders, making me flinch. "So, what was it about? Or dare I say who was it about?" I shook him off and quickly stood up. I then crossed my arms defiantly.

Lord Beerus: "It wasn't about anything! Just drop the subject!" Come on! Of all the times my voice chooses to crack like I'm going through puberty, it has to be now. Is it my destiny to be embarrassed? He stood up and moved next to me, although he's keeping his distance a little.

Lord Liquiir: "Okay, I can see that this is a sensitive topic for you. If you ever want to talk about it, feel free." I narrowed my eyes at him.

Lord Beerus: "Thank you for being so suspiciously cooperative."

Lord Liquiir: "Believe it or not, I do know when to drop a topic. I do want to know one thing, however."

Lord Beerus: "What?"

Lord Liquiir: "Before we join everyone, are you going to do something about that?" With his right paw, he pointed downward. What's he referring to? Wait, no! My eyes widened in horror. Please don't tell me I have a...! I quickly looked down at myself. Afterward, I released a loud sigh. Thankfully, I don't have an erection. I looked back up and growled at this laughing, smartass of a fox!

Lord Beerus: "Damn it, Liquiir!"

Lord Liquiir: "Ha, ha, ha! Sorry, but you did want to know what my question-ow! That hurt." I blinked several times. I...I punched him. Enough to hurt him - he's rubbing his upper right arm soothingly. I wasn't even thinking, I just wanted him to shut up. I didn't have to go that far, though. Ah, I am such a dumbass! I shouldn't have used so much force! What am I talking about? I shouldn't have hit him at all! He sighed sadly. "Okay, I mean it this time. I'll stop teasing you." He's not only physically hurt, but he's also emotionally hurt. I can tell that much. I moved to comfort him like he sometimes does with me, but I stopped myself. I don't think that it would be a good idea to touch him right now.

Lord Beerus: "I-I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean to hurt you."

Lord Liquiir: "No, it's fine. I did take it a step too far and I deserved that much." He looked toward the direction of the party. "I'll just, um, give you your space. Who knows, that hit might have been a good thing. I mean, you don't want to spend all of your time with me, right? Ha, ha..." His forced optimism coupled with his weak chuckle and smile is making me feel worse about myself. Even his ears are drooping slightly. "I'll talk to you later. Bye." With those words, he walked away and left me alone. Ah, damn it all! Stupid dream! Stupid brain! Stupid me! What's wrong with me?! Can't I do anything without upsetting someone?! And why did I have to upset the one person I can confidently say is my best friend? I hate myself so much right now. I knew this party was a bad idea from the start. This is the worst party ever!


I emerged from my hiding spot a few minutes after Liquiir's departure and at this point, I'm wandering around aimlessly. Sure enough, all of the Destroyers and their Angels are here, all doing their own thing. Curiously enough, I don't see any of their Supreme Kais. Now that I think about, Shin isn't here, either. Do they all have a meeting or something? If they do, I wasn't told anything.

None of the fighters who participated in the tournament are here, either. That's a wise decision. For one, it would become too crowded here. Also, I feel like there would be too much bad blood. There is such irony in that statement. The fights could easily be stopped, however, Bulma still wouldn't appreciate a fight at one of her parties. Again. There we go, I'm now in the pool area, where the bulk of the party is. I'm just standing around, practically in the middle of everything, doing a lot of nothing.

Lord Champa: "Hey, bro! I was wondering if you would ever show up!" Sure, why not? It makes sense that my brother is the first to greet me. At least it wasn't-

Lord Beerus: "Damn it, why are you two hanging out?!"

Lord Quitela: "Well, hello to you, too, Beerus." Great. Lucky me! My least favorite person has made his grand appearance! Champa and I can barely stand each other as it is! Throw him into the mix? That's a recipe for disaster.

Lord Beerus: "No, really, why are you two hanging out?" I questioned once more.

Lord Champa: "It's a party, right? It makes no sense to be by yourself," he responded. "But, if you want to know the specifics, you could say that we're bonding over not liking you too much."

Lord Beerus: "Of course you are. Why wouldn't you?"

Lord Quitela: "Hey, think about it this way: we talked to you first, so we must like you a tiny bit, right?" I nodded.

Lord Beerus: "Sure, let's all pretend that's true." He nonchalantly shrugged.

Lord Quitela: "Fine, if that's what you want to think. Speaking of friends, a few minutes ago I saw Liquiir leave from the direction you just came from." A pang of guilt struck me.

Lord Beerus: "Is that so?"

Lord Quitela: "Yep. So, what happened? Did you have a little lover's spat?" I clenched my fists tightly and glared daggers at him. How dare he say that! I want to punch him right in his mouth and shatter his jaw!

Lord Beerus: "Quitela, I am not in the fucking mood to deal with you right now," I venomously hissed through clenched teeth, keeping my voice low so I don't make a scene. I've already done more than my fair share of that at Bulma's parties. Champa, understanding the ticking time-bomb that currently is me, silently backed away from the blast radius to a random booth. Amazingly, he's not making the brewing situation any worse, nor is he even bringing it to anyone's attention. Everyone is continuing to do their own thing and still blissfully unaware. Unfortunately, I know Quitela too well. He won't be able to resist stoking the fire of my barely contained rage. Speaking of whom, he smiled smugly and placed his hands behind his head.

Lord Quitela: "Aw, what's wrong? Are you trying to be a good kitty for your handler? What's her name? Bulma?" He threw his head back and laughed loudly in his signature way, a sound I've grown to be disgusted with.

Lord Beerus: "You tiny, obnoxious, assault on my ears!" I snarled, still keeping my tone hushed. I slowly began raising my fist.

Lord Quitela: "What are you going to do? Punch me? Come on, punch me," he taunted. If that's what he wants, I'm more than happy to oblige.

Lord Champa: "Hey, Quitela!" Champa called out, stopping me from going through with my decision. "We have better things to do than to mess with Beerus. Let's just get out of here." Lowering my fist to my side, I looked over at my brother and caught his gaze. I didn't need to say anything for my message to get across to him. I then looked down at Quitela.

Lord Quitela: "Tch. Fine. I was getting bored, anyway. He's no fun when he doesn't explode and throw a tantrum." The beyond irritating rat gave me one last dirty look before walking away to reunite with Champa. I watched them as they made their way to the huge building; I doubt I'll see them again anytime soon. I breathed a relieved sigh. Well, my brother might be a dick more often than not, but at least he occasionally looks out for my well being. And even though he says he doesn't like me, he does have some brotherly love left for me in his heart...which happens to be working its ass off constantly.

I looked around. It doesn't appear anyone noticed what transpired between me and Quitela. Other than Whis, that is, who's standing next to the fourth universe's Angel, Cognac. He smiled in his typical fashion and waved nonchalantly at me. He's clearly pleased that I didn't put a damper on the party or put him into a situation where he and Cognac would have both been forced to intervene.

I reluctantly returned his wave. A much, much smaller one. And I'm not smiling back at him. I'm not in the mood to. I'm not in the mood for anything, honestly. Scanning the area, I rested my gaze on a fancy looking bar stand to my left. Except, perhaps, some alcohol. Strong alcohol. I stopped my unenthusiastic waving and casually walked over to an available seat at the booth.

Lord Beerus: "Could you get me something high in alcohol content right now?" I asked the bartender, a young man with brown hair and eyes. "Hold on, let me rephrase that," I said before he could pour me a drink. "Give me your strongest drink. I don't want to care about anything for the rest of the party." He readily complied and handed me a good-sized glass. "I also want a little umbrella and a straw." Just as quickly he put both requested items in my beverage. "Thank you." Taking a generous gulp, I turned and looked around. Excluding Champa and Quitela, all of the Destroyers are in this area: Iwne, Heles, Mosco, Arack, Sidra, Rumsshi, Belmod, and Geene. People say I'm stupid, but I just named everyone in order of their universe!

Hold on, Liquiir's not here. I wonder where-no! I'm not going to think about him! I shouldn't be so dependent on him. Besides, I know he wants to be away from me. He was being nice earlier when he said that I needed space away from him. I took out my straw, threw it into a nearby trash can, and chugged the rest of my drink in one go. I placed it on the counter when I finished and snapped my fingers, getting the bartender's attention. "Hey, keep the drinks coming!" He nodded, looking slightly apprehensive - probably because of my aggressiveness - and went to fill my cup. With closed eyes, I sighed and scratched the back of my head.

This probably isn't the best way to go about enjoying myself, however, it's the only thing I can think of. But you know what? It doesn't matter at this point. My goal right now is to get drunk. At least a little bit. I took another huge gulp of the bitter liquid. My body's going to hate me, but it's worth it.


Only an hour...only an hour has passed and I'm feeling so plastered! A couple of people came over to talk to me a while ago. Gohan and his wife. Videl, I think her name is. They both talked about...something or other. Was there anyone else? I don't remember. None of them stayed long enough for me to remember them. Now, I'm all alone. Everyone has all but left me. Off to do who knows what. I sighed and rested my forehead on the counter.

Lord Beerus: "Bored!" I suddenly shouted while picking my head up. I don't care what it is, but I have to do something! I jumped off of the stool I'm sitting on and-whoa! I almost tripped and fell flat on my face. "Whoops. I feel a little tipsy. No, tripsy! Ha, ha, ha!" I'm so hilarious. I looked over at the bartender. "Hey, you! On a scale of one to ten, how drunk am I? Assume my tolerance is extremely high. No! No! Wait! Don't answer! I'm, uh...a six...or a seven. Yes, that sounds about right! Six or a seven! That's right, right? I'll say...it is right! Not at all left." Heh. That reminds me of a joke. How did it go again? Let's see...did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? Don't worry, he's all right now. I laughed boisterously out loud. That was it! Whoever said that I'm not funny? I'd make an amazing comedian! That was gold! I would kill, so to speak. "Well, I'm finished here. Thank you for the...the, um...the drinks. They were...oh, what's the word? They were...good. And strong. Like me! Uh...I can't think of anything else to say...bye!"

But a six or a seven...ooh, that's not good is it? No, it's not. Oh, well! I laughed again and floated upward. I'm staggering and I'm having a hard time controlling my body. Come on, listen to me! "C-C-Come on, body! I am your master! I am i-in control! I am...I am in control! Why? Because...b-because I am a God of Destruction! I might be d-drunk as...as fuck, but I am an all-powerful God of Destruction! You hear me, bartender?! All-powerful!" God of Destruction or not, I am stuttering and slurring my words very badly right now. I'm sure it will get better. I looked at the main building and narrowed my eyes at it. "Okay, Lord Beerus. Focus. I-I want to go there. I want to play a game. Now, fly!" I'm moving...slowly. And not in a straight line. "Straight!" Nope, that didn't work. I'm going off course. Maybe walking would be better. Time to land! I landed on the ground...on my ass. That didn't feel good.

I carefully stood up and walked forward with much more difficulty than I was expecting until eventually, I reached the building. There has to be something fun in here to do! Onward, to my destination of...somewhere. That's a funny word if you think about it. And I will think about it! "Destination. Dest-i-nation. I get what i-nation is. Like, like, I is me and a nation is a place and I'm going to a place right now! But what's dest? Dest...dest...destiny? Yeah, that's it! Destiny i-nation! It's my destiny that I go to a nation! When I'm drunk, I'm a genius! And whoever thought of that word is a genius, too!" I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to find Videl staring up at me.

Videl: "Hi, Lord Beerus. How are you doing?"

Lord Beerus: "I'm doing great! Hey, do you want to hear about the genius behind the word destination? I'd be happy to tell you!" She laughed and smiled awkwardly. I wonder why that is?

Videl: "That's okay, I already know everything." My eyes widened.

Lord Beerus: "What? How?! Can you read minds?"

Videl: "No, you...yelled out your entire breakdown of the word...and you also said something about being an all-powerful God of Destruction. Anyway, I'm pretty sure everyone heard you." I crossed my arms and frowned.

Lord Beerus: "I did? Are you sure you weren't just reading my mind?"

Videl: "I'm pretty sure...do you maybe want to join me?"

Lord Beerus: "Join you in what? What are you doing?"

Videl: "I'm baking a cake right now. I know that I don't have to, but I wanted to do something nice. You know, a little surprise. If you don't feel like baking, I understand."

Lord Beerus: "Are you kidding me? I'd love that!" I accepted excitedly. "Let's go!" I walked past Videl and made my way to wherever the cake is.

Videl: "Lord Beerus," Videl called to me, "the kitchen's this way!" Or maybe not.

Lord Beerus: "If you say so." I turned around and-oh, damn it, not again! I tripped and I'm falling! Wait, what? How come I didn't fall on my face? I didn't catch myself.

Videl: "Hey, Lord Beerus, do you think you could help me out, here?" she said from under me.

Lord Beerus: "Oh, you caught me! I feel so stupid. Who else could it have been?"

Videl: "I don't mean to be rude, but seriously, help."

Lord Beerus: "Sorry. Here you go." I straightened up, with some help from Videl, and laughed. "Oh, that was funny. Don't you think so?"

Videl: "Yeah, it was comedy gold. Do you need help walking?"

Lord Beerus: "That would-that would, um, I-I, uh...that...would...yeah, that." She giggled - with me or at me, I don't know - and took me by my right wrist. She's now leading me to our...destination! "You're a good human, Videl," I told her while patting her head. "When I inevitably blow up your planet, I'll be sure to spare you, Gohan, and your daughter. And your father and Majin Buu if you want." Her walking slowed down a little, making me walk slower, too.

Videl: "Oh. Thank you?"

Lord Beerus: "There's no need to thank me. I'm just doing my job. Now that I think about it, where is your daughter? Did you and Gohan abandon her?" She let out an exhale of what I assume to be is annoyance. But why? What does she have to be annoyed about?

Videl: "No, we didn't abandon Pan." So that's her name! I didn't know until now. I shouldn't say anything about it, though. I don't want to look rude or make a fool of myself. "Chi-Chi is watching her and Bulma and Vegeta's daughter while I work on the cake. I think that she's with Whis and the other Angels right now."

Lord Beerus: "Oh, okay! Well, that does make sense. She is the good wife, after all. That must mean that she's a better mom and caregiver than you, too, right?" She let out yet another sigh.

Videl: "She...yeah, sure. Just out of curiosity, how drunk are you?"

Lord Beerus: "Say what? I'm not drunk." She looked at me disbelievingly."Okay, I'm a little drunk. Like, six. Or seven. On a scale of ten. But don't tell anyone!"

Videl: "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

Lord Beerus: "Yes!" I raised my left arm tri...tri...shit! What's the word? Tri...triumphantly! There, I knew I'd get it eventually. "I am a great actor, Videl! No one will suspect that I'm drunk at all!"

Videl: "That's good, but maybe you shouldn't say that out loud."

Lord Beerus: "Why? Do you think everyone can hear me?"

Videl: "Yes." I gave her a thumbs up.

Lord Beerus: "All right, then! I'll take your advice. I'm trusting you."

Videl: "Okay and don't worry, your trust will not be misplaced."

Lord Beerus: "I'm sure it won't. Actually, you know what?" I stopped walking, making Videl stop, too. She turned to look at me.

Videl: "What?" I pointed at her.

Lord Beerus: "You have been nothing but good to me!"

Videl: "Really? It's only been two minutes."

Lord Beerus: "Even so, it's only right that I do something nice for you in return."

Videl: "What did you have in mind?"

Lord Beerus: "I will...um..." What can I do? Uh...damn it, I can't think of anything! I snapped my fingers repeatedly to help me think of something faster. I know! "I'll carry you the rest of the way! No more walking for you!"

Videl: "Wait, what? Oh, geez!" I effortlessly picked up the young human and carefully placed her over my right shoulder. "Okay...this is weird. But I feel like a princess, so I guess it's okay." I nodded.

Lord Beerus: "Now, show me the way, princess, and I will follow!"

Videl: "Um...sure. Go through that door on your left."

Lord Beerus: "Yes, m'lady! Opening the door! Entering the room! Turning around and closing the door! We have successfully gone through the door! Now what?"

Videl: "Now put me down, we're here."

Lord Beerus: "As you wish, princess! Here you go." I carefully placed her back on the ground. I turned around and looked at the...kitchen? I've never seen a kitchen with a carpet, before. I tapped the floor with my foot a couple of times. "I've never seen a kitchen like this before. In fact, where are the stoves? The counters? The fridge? I don't see anything in here that remotely looks like it belongs in the kitchen."

Videl: "That's because this is the living room. Well, one of them. The actual kitchen is through that door in front of us." She pointed to it.

Lord Beerus: "Oh, okay. I was really confused. So, is her actual kitchen huge?" She started walking toward it. I immediately followed her.

Videl: "Yeah, it's pretty big, but it's for personal use. For when she and Vegeta don't want anything made by the cooks. The main kitchen, which is the kitchen the cooks use, is massive. You could play hide and seek in there." I stopped dead in my tracks a few feet from the door and froze. That brings up some bad memories. She noticed and turned around with a concerned look on her face. "Lord Beerus? What's wrong?"

Lord Beerus: "N-nothing. Don't worry about it. So...where are you with the cake?" She's looking at me carefully. Please, just ignore it!

Videl: "I'm actually almost finished with it." Yes! Bless you, for not asking about it again! She opened the door. Wow, this place is pretty big! "There it is." She gestured to her right. Sitting on the counter is a-

Lord Beerus: "Damn, Princess Videl! That thing's big as fuck!" She giggled. "No, seriously, it's five layers tall!"

Videl: "I know. I had to make it really big to feed everyone. All that's missing are the decorations." I looked around the giant pastry. The frosting's on it. It's as white as snow. However, it still looks very naked. Ah! No! Champa, go away! It was that one time when we were adults and I saw you naked! Come on, I'll lose my appetite! "Are you doing okay? You're swatting the air in front of your face." I cleared my throat.

Lord Beerus: "You don't need to worry, it's gone now. Anyway, I know I said that I'd help you, but it looks like a lot of work."

Videl: "Don't worry, it's easy. Here, you take one of these pastry bags and use it to make this look gorgeous." I looked down. The bags that are near the dessert are arranged in order of the rainbow. She handed me a red one.

Lord Beerus: "Okay, I think I know how this works." I floated up and started with the very top layer. "Just give the bag a little squeeze, and..." Oh, I squeezed the pastry bag all right. Half of the bag exploded, showering the counter, me, and Videl with red icing, kind of like sugary blood. I wonder if a cake monster would bleed sugar? Mm...that would be delicious. Like I was saying, it also made a goopy mess on the cake. The metal nozzle thingy also crashed down onto the floor near Princess Videl's right foot. I looked over at her and laughed in an embarrassed sounding way. "Oops. I think I squeezed it too hard." She sighed and shrugged.

Videl: "It's fine. We can always scrape it off. I'll go get you a washcloth so you can get that icing out of your fur." I nodded.

Lord Beerus: "Thank you." She left for the back of the room. I assume that's where the cleaning supplies are or something. I looked at the towering sweet. That mess on it doesn't make it look gorgeous at all! And since I was the one who made it look ugly in the first place, I should be the one to scrape it off. If I do that, Princess Videl will be so happy with me!

I floated back down and lifted the tray that it's sitting on. I'm moving it to a lower level so that I'll have an easier time scraping the icing off. It's a good thing I'm so strong or else I'd have a very hard time carrying it. Now, where should I put it down? Is there a counter that's, like, waist-high? I don't see any. Maybe it would be better to put this thing back on the counter? Yeah, I probably should.

I carefully put the con...con... I forgot the word again! Fuck! Con...confection! Ah-ha! There we go. I carefully put the confection back in its original place. All I need now is to get that washcloth. "Hey, Princess Videl, where's that-ah!" I slipped on that little nozzle that exploded off of the bag earlier! I landed on my back with a hard and loud thud. "Ouch." I stood up and rubbed my sore back. "I thought when you get drunk you don't feel pain anymore? Whoever says that is a liar. Is the cake still here?" I looked to my right. Uh-huh. It's still standing tall. "Phew! I don't know why, but I was afraid that something bad happened to it." I turned my head and rested one paw on my hip while I placed the other on the counter. That's weird. Do they always feel this squishy? I looked back to find...a squashed cake. The bottom two layers are now under my paw. "Shit."

Videl: "I'm sorry it took so long, Lord Beerus. I needed to clean up, too. Anyway, here's your-ah! What happened to the cake?!" Princess Videl practically screeched. I looked at her and very slowly took my paw out of the pastry. I laughed nervously.

Lord Beerus: "Not much. What's happening with you?" She narrowed her eyes at me and stomped her way closer to me.

Videl: "It took me hours to bake this thing! It's ruined now! What, did it insult your mother?" I shook my head.

Lord Beerus: "No. At least the top three layers didn't get squished," I told her optimistically.

Videl: "That doesn't matter if they're covered in a giant frosting blob!"

Lord Beerus: "Look, I'm sorry, it was an accident!" I licked some cake off of my index finger. "If it makes you feel any better, it's delicious!" Uh-oh, her right eye's twitching. It did not make her feel better.

Videl: "Lord Beerus, with all due respect, go away. Please." I sighed sadly.

Lord Beerus: "I understand. But...where do I go now?"

Videl: "If I remember correctly, 18, Krillin, and Gohan are teaching table tennis. You can go join them. You're not so drunk that you can't focus on their energy to find them, are you?"

Lord Beerus: "Uh, no, I'm not. Again, I'm really sorry."

Videl: "It's fine, I guess." She handed me the washcloth. "Here you go." She looked at the ruined...um...more ruined cake. "As you said, the top three layers are still intact. Hopefully, I'll be able to salvage them. See you later, Lord Beerus." I looked down and began to clean off my paw.

Lord Beerus: "Yeah...see you later." I started making my way out the door and groaned sadly. "Sober or drunk, I can't do anything right."


After cleaning myself - and wandering around looking for a good place to drop off the washcloth I used - I searched out Prince Gohan's energy. I can feel it outside, which makes table tennis an outdoor sport. I'm assuming also that it involves a table. It has to, right? A sport wouldn't be named one thing and it's the complete opposite of what actually happens. I mean, you wouldn't call an activity...I don't know, football, and your feet barely get used. That would be stupid!

I wonder if everyone will want to hear about this? I hope so. I'm having some of the best thoughts I've ever had! Oh, I hope I don't forget about them! Double oh! I found the door that leads to my...location? Yeah, my location! I opened it, took a step outside, and looked all around me. Hello?! Can anyone hear me?! Nothing but silence. Hello?! Why is no one answering me?! Wait, I'm thinking it. I actually have to say it out loud. Whoopsie!

Lord Beerus: "Hello?! Can anyone hear me?!"

Gohan: "We're over here, Lord Beerus!" Hey! That's Prince Gohan!

Lord Beerus: "Where?! I don't see you!"

Lord Geene: "Look in front of you, genius!" Someone already recognizes my brilliance! Awesome! Wait, where'd he say to look? In front of me, that's right! Oh. They are in front of me. About fifty feet away. Whoa! There are so many damn people over there! To name a few, there's Goku, Vegeta, those Saiyan children who know fusion, Geene, Arack, Iwne, Belmod, Rumsshi, Sidra, and that young Namekian who watches over this planet. Along with those kids, I don't remember his name.

Hey, look at that, the pig man is here, too! Oolong, right? The only reason I remember his name is because I beat him in rock-paper-scissors. Why did we play it in the first place, though? Whatever, it's not important.

Lord Beerus: "Okay! Wait over there, everyone! I will join you all in a second!" And in a second I did get to them. I love this speed! "See? I told you that I'd get to you all in a second." Everyone gathered around me. To start a conversation with me, I think. It makes sense. Who wouldn't want to talk to me?

Goku: "Hiya, Lord Beerus! It's good to see you here and not at the bar." It is a nice change, isn't it? We're out in the field...is it a field? How big does a stretch of grass have to be considered one? Whatever, I'll call it a field. We're out in the big open space that's behind Bulma's house with many large, rectangular metal tables with small nets atop of them, all spaced out from between each other. So this game is played on a table. Located farther away on the sides are a few regular square glass tables you can sit at as well. All of them have large, white umbrellas overhead, reflecting the heat and providing pleasant shade from it. A two-for-one deal, what a bargain! I focused on Goku and bashfully smiled.

Lord Beerus: "I might have gotten a little carried away," I admitted while rubbing the back of my neck out of embarrassment. "But it's all fine and it's really good to see all of you. Even the people I don't remember."

18: "Oh? I have a good guess, but who are the people you don't remember?" I heard 18 say to my right. I looked over at her.

Lord Beerus: "The only people I don't remember are the Namekian and the Saiyan kids over there." With my right paw, I gestured toward the three who are all standing next to each other in front of me and one of the game's tables.

Trunks: "I'm Trunks and that's Goten," he told me while pointing to the right at his friend. "I'm surprised you don't remember us after all this time."

Lord Belmod: "I wouldn't feel too bad. His memory is horrible." I blinked and looked over at Belmod. He's taken a seat at one of the regular tables.

Lord Beerus: "Wait, what was that?"

Lord Belmod: "Nothing, you're just proving a point." I narrowed my eyes at him and crossed my arms.

Lord Beerus: "I'm pretty sure I know what you said, but I'm just going to ignore it. Uh, what's your name, Namekian?"

Dende: "It's Dende, Lord Beerus."

Lord Beerus: "I see. I honestly don't think I'll be able to remember that. Do you mind if I just call you 'Little Green?' Hey, why did some of you just laugh?" I looked at the crowd.

Lord Arack: "It's just amusing how you're acting. That's all."

Lord Beerus: "What do you mean? How am I acting? No, wait!" I held up my right paw before anyone could answer. "Don't answer that. Little Green never answered my question and you're all being rude! So, Little Green, can I call you Little Green? Is that okay Little Green?" He's looking up at me with a neutral expression.

Dende: "It's fine, I suppose. You are inebriated, so I can't fault you for acting like this." I scratched the back of my head.

Lord Beerus: "Huh? What does that word mean?"

Vegeta: "It means drunk, Lord Beerus," Vegeta answered to my right.

Lord Beerus: "Wait...you all know I'm drunk?" Pretty much everyone is saying right now that they know. Damn it! I wonder what tipped off? "That's not fair! Princess Videl told me that she wouldn't tell anyone!" I crossed my arms angrily. "I'm, like, a six by the way. Or seven. On a scale of ten."

Vegeta: "Nevermind being drunk. 'Princess'? When did she ever become a princess?" I looked over at the adult Saiyan.

Lord Beerus: "When she married Prince Gohan obviously." Prince Gohan's now staring wide-eyed at me and using his right hand, he's pointing to himself.

Gohan: "Are you talking about me?"

Lord Beerus: "Yes, I'm talking about you. You are the only 'Gohan' here...aren't you?"

Gohan: "Well...yes, but I still don't understand how I'm a prince. Or how Videl's a princess."

Vegeta: "He's right, I'm the only prince here."

Lord Iwne: "Trunks is your son, isn't he? Wouldn't he technically be a prince?" Trunks looked at his father.

Trunks: "He's right, dad, I would be." Vegeta looked over at him.

Vegeta: "Technically, you are." I looked between the two several times in confusion.

Lord Beerus: "Wait, wait, wait, hold on," I said with my paws raised in front of me. "Vegeta, when did you become a prince?" He looked at me with a look of disbelief, wide eyes, and his mouth is hanging open. If he doesn't close it soon, bugs will fly in there.

Vegeta: "L-Lord Beerus! I've always been a prince! Always!" I cocked my head to the right crossed my arms again.

Lord Beerus: "Even though you're married?" He opened his mouth, but no words were spoken. Only silence. Either that or I've gone deaf.

18: "If we're following that logic, wouldn't Gohan and Videl be a king and queen?" Vegeta groaned and facepalmed himself.

Vegeta: "You're not helping, android."

Lord Beerus: "Hey, you're right! That does make them a king and queen!"

Gohan: "But we're not a king or queen, either." I walked over to King Gohan and shook my head.

Lord Beerus: "Don't say such things, my King. Of course, you are a king and queen and I am but your humble knight. I am honored to serve you, even though I am not worthy to be in either of your presence." I kneeled before my King.

Oolong: "You know, I think I can get on board with this Lord Beerus any day of the week."

Goku: "Ha, ha, I think I like drunk Lord Beerus! He's really funny!" Yeah, I am really funny! I think that I'm starting to like drunk Lord Beerus, too. Whoa, wait, what's going on?! I'm being forced back on my feet! Is it a ghost?! No, it's just Vegeta, Belmod, and Geene.

Lord Beerus: "Hey, what's the big idea? Why did you pick me up like that?"

Vegeta: "We picked you up because what you were doing was inappropriate."

Lord Beerus: "What do you mean? What did I do?"

Lord Geene: "You were kneeling." Uh...okay. I still don't get it. I looked down at my legs.

Lord Beerus: "And that's so horrible because...?" I then looked back up at the three. "I don't understand. What's the big deal?"

Lord Belmod: "You have to remember, you are a God of Destruction. No offense to you, Gohan, but you really shouldn't be kneeling to a mortal so easily like that."

Lord Beerus: "But don't you kneel to Jiren?" I heard a couple of gasps and a lot of ohs. "What? What did I say? What did I say?" I looked around at everyone - I feel like I'm doing that a lot - before looking back at Belmod. "Uh...Belmod, are you okay?" He's staring down at the ground with his hands on his hips. He sighed deeply, sounding very disappointed, and looked up at me.

Lord Belmod: "Beerus, I think I speak for everyone when I say 'Go away.'" I looked at him with wide eyes.

Lord Beerus: "What?! But...but I..." I moved my arms around randomly for a few seconds before gesturing to myself. "I just got here! Was it the Jiren thing? Come on, I'm really sorry!"

Krillin: "What you said was over the line. It wasn't cool."

Lord Beerus: "I-I just..." I fiddled with my fingers. I have no idea what to say. "It's just...King Gohan, it's not fair!" I looked over at him. "Not even fifteen minutes ago I came inside, I just came outside, and now you want me to come inside again? I don't want to come inside twice! Hey, are you okay? Your face is looking red." He cleared his throat with his right hand.

Gohan: "You're talking about the building, right?"

Lord Beerus: "Yeah. What else would I be talking about?"

Gohan: "Don't worry, it's fine. Although, I do agree that you should leave. It would be for the best."

Lord Beerus: "Even you, King Gohan? Aw...if you command it, I suppose I do have to come inside twice."

18: "Stop saying it like that!"

Trunks: "Saying it like what? What's wrong with coming inside the building?"

18: "Aside from being grammatically incorrect, it means-" She quickly stopped herself and shook her head. "Ugh, just go away, Lord Beerus." I threw my paws up in the air.

Lord Beerus: "Another thing I'm saying wrong and I don't even know what it is." I sighed. "Okay, I'll leave. I guess I'll just find Champa. He'll be happy to hang out with me. We're best friends. Anyway, bye everyone. I'm sorry that I caused trouble." I waved and began to walk away. I'm so mad at myself. I didn't even get to play table tennis and so many more people are upset with me! Okay, Beerus, next time, think before you say anything! Now, I have no clue what Champa's doing right now, but whatever it is I know that he'll be happy to see me. And 18 has no idea what she's talking about. There's nothing wrong with coming.


Lord Beerus: "This is great, I feel so much better! Just you, me, Quitela, and...um..." I motioned to the television in front of us with my right arm. "Some game show host. Whatever his name is." What's playing right now is a question and answer based game, but most of the questions involve Earth. Even if I wanted to play along, I would do terribly. Not only that, but you have to answer in the form of a question. It's so confusing! At one point they asked the name of the meteor that killed the dinosaurs. I don't know why they asked that since I'm the one who killed them, but it's fine. I'm not really paying attention, anyway. I'm too focused on my friends, Champa and Quitela!

The three of us are sitting on a black leather couch in one of the many, many living rooms. I know Bulma's rich, but why are there so many living rooms? And this is the most basic one I've seen yet. It has a couch. A flat-screen TV hanging on the wall. The walls themselves are painted white. The floor has a nice white carpet. There are potted plants on either end of the couch. And that's pretty much it. I'm sitting between Champa and Quitela right now. It's nice. I tried to wrap my arms around their necks, but they both moved away from me.

Lord Champa: "Yeah...why are you here exactly?" Champa said to my right.

Lord Beerus: "I'm here because you're my friends and I want to hang out together."

Lord Quitela: "But we don't like you," Quitela stated matter-of-factly to my left. "To be completely honest with you, we thought about making a club about not liking you."

Lord Beerus: "Really?" I looked back and forth between the two. "Can I be a member?" My brother looked at me as if I've gone insane.

Lord Champa: "Wha-no, you can't be a member!" He then pointed at me. "You're the person we don't like!" I defensively raised my paws.

Lord Beerus: "Okay, okay, I get it. I get the message." I put my paws back down in my lap. "Are you two the only members?"

Lord Quitela: "Yeah. What of it?"

Lord Beerus: "It's a little small, don't you think? Kind of like you, Quitela." He sighed angrily.

Lord Quitela: "You know, you're usually an asshole, but this is worse because I don't think you're trying to be one on purpose."

Lord Beerus: "I'm sorry, I'm a little drunk. Like, six. Or seven. On a scale of ten." I held my chin with my right paw in thought. "But my drunkenness might have gone down. I'm not slurring or stuttering my words nearly as bad." I let go of my chin. "Even if that's true, I still don't want you guys to tell anyone!"

Lord Champa: "Don't worry, we won't." I whipped my head around.

Lord Beerus: "Really? You mean it?" He nodded.

Lord Champa: "Yeah. But we will tell you to go away." On either side of my body, I slammed the couch with my fists repeatedly.

Lord Beerus: "Ah! Come on! Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker!"

Lord Quitela: "Wow. That's a colorful language you have there," Quitela commented.

Lord Beerus: "It's not fair!" I looked over at Champa. "About twenty minutes ago I came inside once. After that, I came outside, only to find out that I need to come inside again. I did that, I just came in here, but you're telling me that I need to come outside again? Come on! A man needs time! You can't just keep telling him to keep coming! So, that's it, I'm done! I already came three times! You're not going to make me come." I crossed my arms in a huff. Champa's just staring at me completely deadpan.

Lord Champa: "Are...are you doing that on purpose?"

Lord Beerus: "Doing what on purpose?" He continued his one-sided staring contest for a couple of seconds before sighing.

Lord Champa: "Nothing. Just...I don't know, go hang out with the Angels. They're all together in one place. Talking, reading, playing chess. Some boring strategy game that I don't feel like learning anytime soon." I stood up angrily.

Lord Beerus: "Maybe I will! And I'll have so much more fun with them than I ever did here with you two and your stupid club! So, ha!"


I regret everything in life! I'm so bored, I feel like crying! I don't want to read, I don't want to talk, and I don't want to learn that stupid strategy game! I'm sitting in a chair at one of the tables in this horrible, evil, boring room. The walls are painted grey, a terrible choice of color for any room. There are bookcases everywhere. A ridiculous amount of chess boards. This is Hell. And I'm alone.

Well, Goku's wife is here, talking about this and that with Vados, Cus, Marcarita, and Martinu. Chi-Chi's holding Bulla and Vados is holding Pan. Huh. For some reason, Vados never struck me as the baby holding type. Another God of Destruction is here, Bosco, so I thought that I could do something with him. But he's stuck in a game of chess with Whis. No, my mistake, it's technically not Bosco. It's Mule. He's not in his robot right now because he wouldn't be able to...to...

Lord Beerus: "Hey, Bosco...uh, Mule...whatever I call you now, why aren't you in your robot again?"

Lord Mule: "I wouldn't be able to manipulate the pieces nearly as effectively if I was in Bosco," he answered without taking his eyes off of the board. The only thing that game has going for it is the checker pattern. I really can't understand how anyone could find it fun. There's no real action in it! "Also, you treat Bosco as an entity separate from myself," he added. I shrugged.

Lord Beerus: "Okay. Good to know. And you know what? I'm just going to tell myself to 'Go away.' Okay?" No one's answering. "Okay. Bye, everyone. Don't die of boredom," I muttered to myself. I don't mind being in a more peaceful environment, but this is just...no.

Whis: "Oh, yes, before you leave, may I remind you of something, my lord?" my Angel asked right before I walked out of the room. I turned around. He's still focused on his game and he has his right index finger pointing up at nothing in particular. I still hate that. If you're going to make a point while pointing, actually point at something! Did I say that word enough?

Lord Beerus: "What is it, Whis?" I asked in a bored voice.

Whis: "I simply want you to refrain from cursing for the rest of the day." I haven't been swearing that often today! Let's say I have been swearing a lot, how would he know? Has he been spying on me? Peeper!

Lord Beerus: "I'll say whatever I damn well please! So long, buzzkills!" With my right paw, I saluted the murderers of fun and walked out of the room. Asking me not to swear. Fuck that! I'll never stop! Anyway, I wonder if there's another group I haven't found yet?


Apparently, yes. A big group in fact. A meditation group. I don't mind a little meditating. They all let me in, which was quite nice of them. At the moment we're all sitting down in a line with our legs crossed. I'm holding my paws together in my lap. We're in one of those circular rooms where there's one big window going around the entire place to allow constant light to flow in. The floor is made up of beautiful green grass. I think that it's real. It feels real. There are also all sorts of flowers in different colors. They remind me of the different colors of ki. There is even one of those rock formations with a pond inside of it. The perfect meditation garden.

The people that are here with me are Piccolo, Tien, and Roshi. I can remember them easily enough because they were part of my team in the tournament. Oddly, I can also remember Chiaotzu and Puar. I think I only ever heard their names once. There's also one other person here that I can't remember. I know he helped me win in baseball against my brother a while ago, but I still can't place his name. If that's not selective memory, I don't know what is.

Lord Beerus: "Psst. Piccolo," I whispered.

Piccolo: "Yes, Lord Beerus?"

Lord Beerus: "I don't remember who that person is. The person with a lot of hair on top of his head."

Yamcha: "Are you talking about me?"

Lord Beerus: "I don't know. My eyes are closed."

Puar: "Then how about you open them?"

Lord Beerus: "Oh, right, I can just do that...Puar? Chiaotzu? Which one of you said that? Your voices are too similar."

Puar: "I did," I heard from in front of me. I opened my eyes to see the shapeshifting blue cat-like creature.

Lord Beerus: "And you're Puar, right?"

Puar: "Uh-huh."

Lord Beerus: "Okay, that's what I thought."

Yamcha: "Wait a second, why do you remember Puar and Chiaotzu but not me? I got the winning run in baseball when we played together!" I looked to my left and shrugged.

Lord Beerus: "I don't know. I suppose that you're just easily forgettable. Speaking of which, why weren't you at the Tournament of Power? Is it because you're ridiculously weak?"

Yamcha: "What?! That's-that's not true!" He quickly stood up and pointed his right thumb at himself, looking very determined. "I am very strong! Do you hear me? Strong. I just wanted to give the other universes a chance, that's all." I stood up and squinted at him.

Lord Beerus: "Are you sure?" I looked him over several times. "I don't know, I can barely feel anything from you." He crossed his arms, looking very displeased with me.

Yamcha: "Whatever, man. You're just being mean."

Lord Beerus: "I don't know what you're talking about. I just asked a question and spoke my opinion. I don't know when that became a crime."

Master Roshi: "It's not a crime, but it doesn't change the fact that you were still being rude and you insulted Yamcha." Wow. By now everyone's standing up and it's making me feel like I'm being ganged up on.

Lord Beerus: "It's not that serious. I was just joking around!"

Tien: "Then next time you should tell an actual joke instead of making fun of Yamcha. Being drunk doesn't excuse you from consequences."

Lord Beerus: "So what if on the drunkenness scale I'm a six or maybe a seven? I think that it's gotten better, by the way. Look, I can talk. It's not illegal. Besides, who are you, my mom? If you want to tell me what to do, then next time you should wear a headband. What?" Tien looks disappointed. Everyone looks disappointed in fact. "Go away?" Silently, Tien nodded. "Damn it!" I cursed under my breath. Ugh. Well, I'm not going to put up a fight. I kind of expected this to happen...again. Without another word, I walked out of the room. I swear, my visits to all of these different groups are getting shorter and shorter and shorter. Where the hell do I go now? I've practically hung out with everybody. And that's saying something because there are a lot of people here!

Okay, who haven't I hung out with yet? Let's see. I think Bulma? Yes, I haven't hung out with her yet. I haven't seen her in a while. Not since I yelled at her. This could be the perfect time to apologize! It's only right. I wonder, though, will she want to see me? I honestly don't know. Oh, what am I thinking? I'm sure enough time has passed for her to calm down and understand what she did wrong. I mean, she wasn't completely innocent herself, if I remember correctly. All right, then, I've decided! Bulma it is! And she's not that far away from me. Bonus! Onward, myself!

I wonder what she's doing right now? It's hard to tell. I don't sense anyone else's energy. Is she all alone? I feel bad if that's the case. No one deserves to be alone. Finally, after my short walk, I've made it to the door. All I need to do is go into the room and give her some company!

Bulma: "...Yeah, Lord Beerus isn't that bad. He's a good God of Destruction, all things considered." Or...maybe not. I leaned against the door and pressed my right ear up against it. Is this wrong? Maybe. But people are talking about me! I have to know everyone's opinions!

Lady Heles: "Really? Because I've heard that he's threatened to destroy your planet multiple times. He nearly destroyed it over pudding." I was wondering where Heles was. Why couldn't I sense her? Did she not want to be found? Weird. Also, in my defense, pudding is amazing and I was disrespected and cheated out of it the first time around! "I've had a cup of it and to be completely honest, I don't know what the big deal is. It's nothing special." She's insane! Either that or she has no taste buds!

Bulma: "I mean it. Even though it's really easy to upset him and he does act selfishly sometimes, he is definitely not the worst person I've ever met." Heles let out an amused sounding chuckle.

Lady Heles: "I suppose you're right. And I'm sure that if he was here, he would be leaning up against the door with his ear pressed up against it, listening intently." I scrunched my face in confusion, took my ear off of the door, and looked straight at it. That's an oddly specific thing to say out of the blue. Whatever, back to listening intently. Hey, they stopped talking! I don't hear anything at all anymore! What's going on here? Suddenly, the entrance opened, revealing a neutral looking Bulma. Uh-oh. This could be bad.

Bulma: "Hello, Lord Beerus." I stared up at her through the corner of my eye. I'm still in the same position as if there's an invisible entryway I'm leaning on.

Lord Beerus: "Hello."

Bulma: "What were you doing, if you don't mind me asking?"

Lord Beerus: "I was...appreciating the door." I stood up, moved over to it, and hugged it. "I love you, door. You've always helped me to transition to other areas of my life." I stopped my hugging and looked at my arms. "I'd also like to thank my arms for always being by my side. I'd like to thank my legs for never letting me down and my tail for always having my back. Um...what's something clever I can say about my ears?"

Lord Liquiir: "Thank you, ears, for always helping me to eavesdrop from miles away." I rolled my eyes.

Lord Beerus: "Ha, ha, very funny. I wasn't..." I suddenly gasped. Is that who I think it is?! I looked ahead of Bulma to find my best friend sitting on a couch in another fucking living room! The same one my team had our meeting in before the tournament. How did I not recognize this place earlier? No, that doesn't matter! What does matter is why does Bulma have so many living rooms?! No, that doesn't matter, either! It's Liquiir! I excitedly waved at him "Liquiir! Hi!" He waved back with a kind smile.

Lord Liquiir: "Hi, how are-whoa!" Without any warning, I picked him up off of the couch and spun him around. After a few twirls, I set him back down on the ground and hugged him tightly.

Lord Beerus: "Liquiir, it feels like I haven't seen you in years!" He laughed and hugged me back.

Lord Liquiir: "I know! It's been so long!" He moved his head back to look at me. "Now, how about you let me go and sit next to me so we can all catch up?" I held onto him a little tighter.

Lord Beerus: "But I don't want to let you go..." I told him with a sniffle and a cracking voice. His smiling face changed to a concerned one.

Lord Liquiir: "Beerus, what's wrong?"

Lord Beerus: "N-nothing, it's just that...I'm so sorry!" I buried my face in Liquiir's chest, trying to pull a disappearing act. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Lady Heles: "Well now. That's a huge difference compared to how you were feeling only a few seconds ago."

Lord Beerus: "I-I can't help it! I feel so horrible! I'm so sorry, Liquiir!" My words are being muffled by his fur, but they're still loud enough for the others to hear. He gently moved me back so that I'm face to face with him again.

Lord Liquiir: "It's okay, I promise! If this is about earlier, I already forgave you." I shook my head.

Lord Beerus: "No, don't give me that!" Wiping the tears from my eyes, I now realize something important: alcohol makes me sad! "I-I hurt you when I didn't mean to!" I looked over at Bulma. "And Bulma! I was so mean to you for no reason!" I let go of Liquiir and moved a little closer to her. "I-I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you. I was bored and you were just trying to help me by giving me something to do. Oh, and Quitela! Well, actually, fuck Quitela. I'm not taking back what I said! I can't remember exactly what it was, but I'm not taking it back! For the people I don't hate, I wish that I could take back what I said and did! I've ruined so many people's good times! I'm such a terrible person! A real dick!" I'm starting to breathe faster than I'm comfortable with and my head's hurting. I placed my paw on the side of my head and moved away from everyone and near the couch. I'm starting to get somewhat light-headed.

Bulma: "Lord Beerus, breathe! You'll hyperventilate if you keep going like this. Just calm down."

Lord Beerus: "How?! How do you expect me to calm down at a time like this?! How do you-" I suddenly felt something lightly and comfortingly grab onto my shoulders, stopping me from going on another blubbering rant. It's Liquiir's doing. I turned my head to see his worried and caring face.

Lord Liquiir: "Beerus, it's okay. We both forgive you and everyone in this room thinks you're amazing. We're all your friends and we want nothing but the best for you. And what's best for you right now is to breathe, sit down, and relax. Does that sound good?" I nodded slowly. Afterward, I inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Are you okay?"

Lord Beerus: "Not entirely, but I'm better." He lead me by the shoulders to the couch and had me sit down on it. He then sat next to me on my left. "Thank you for being my best friend," I told him as I used one of his tails to wipe away my tears. His body jumped a little and for a split second he also looked surprised, shocked even, but he's letting me...hold onto his...tail. I looked down at it and then back up at him. Of course, it was his tail! I'd be startled if someone grabbed mine, too. He suddenly gave me a small and friendly smile.

Lord Liquiir: "I'm just happy to be here for you." I smiled back at his kind words. If I had any misgivings about holding onto such a delicate part of him without his permission, I don't anymore. I looked over at Bulma.

Lord Beerus: "I'm sorry, Bulma, I don't what came over me." She walked over and sat down next to me on my right.

Bulma: "Don't worry about it. Making sure you feel happy is important." Everyone cares about me. That's...really nice to know. I sighed deeply, closed my eyes, and rested my head on the back of the furniture while I absentmindedly pet my best friend's tail.

Lady Heles: "Liquiir," Heles suddenly spoke, "you don't mind Beerus using your tails like tissues or petting them like that?"

Lord Liquiir: "No. I don't."

Lady Heles: "I see..." And silence has filled the room. What do you say after you've seen someone cry and be so vulnerable? I'm like a completely different person when I'm drunk. "Well, in any case, I think now would be a good time to let you two talk. Bulma, I believe you mentioned that Videl had a surprise for you?"

Bulma: "That's right, I did. She called me not that long ago. She was working on something for the party." And I know what that something is...I hope that she managed to save it. "I'll get you two in ten minutes." I opened my eyes and looked at her.

Lord Beerus: "What happens in ten minutes?"

Bulma: "Right now it's..." Bulma took out her phone from her right pocket. "One thirty. At one forty I was planning one final get-together with everyone because the party ends at two o'clock pm. It would be risky to have you all here any longer than that. Even two hours is risky. Anyway, that's the plan. Okay?" I nodded.

Lord Beerus: "That sounds great. I can't wait to see what Videl did with the cake that I almost completely ruined." My eyes widened and I sat straight up. "No, wait!" I slapped my forehead. "Fuck! I ruined the surprise!"

Bulma: "It's fine, you didn't. Videl told me everything when I asked what she was working on." I breathed a sigh of relief.

Lord Beerus: "Okay, good. I'll see you in ten minutes, I guess." She nodded.

Bulma: "See you in ten minutes." She got up and waved. "Bye, Liquiir." He waved back.

Lord Liquiir: "Bye, Bulma." With that Bulma and Heles left the room, leaving me and Liquiir alone together. I looked over at him.

Lord Beerus: "She doesn't refer to you as 'Lord'?"

Lord Liquiir: "I believe that's too formal. Friends shouldn't have to be formal with one another. If you want, you could try it with her." I shrugged.

Lord Beerus: "I don't know, that sounds weird to me. And if drunk Beerus thinks that it's weird, I can only imagine what sober Beerus would think of it." He chuckled a little.

Lord Liquiir: "I like how you're acting like they are different people."

Lord Beerus: "They might as well be. Have you ever been drunk?"

Lord Liquiir: "No. I'm not particular to alcohol. I will drink it, but only on special occasions and never in excess."

Lord Beerus: "Oh. You're pure. Well, if you ever do get drunk, you'll know what I mean. But I don't want to talk about how drunk I am. I want to talk about...um...what do you want to talk about?" His smile grew a little wider.

Lord Liquiir: "Drunk or sober, you're still the same Beerus I know." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "I guess I'll just start with the obvious: what have you been up to?"

Lord Beerus: "First, I hung out with Princess Videl. I...squished the cake she was making. A little bit. After she told me to go away I went to go see Prince Gohan. I was hoping to learn how to play the game he was teaching, table tennis, but I ended up saying the wrong thing to Belmod and I had to leave. After that, I hung out with Champa and Quitela. They didn't want me there. Then I spent some time with our Angels. The biggest mistake I've ever made. I meditated with Piccolo along with other people soon after that. Again, the same story. I had to leave because I said the wrong thing. Finally, I came here. That's about it."

Lord Liquiir: "Ah, okay. And how are you feeling?"

Lord Beerus: "Right now? I'm feeling pretty good. I mean, there were a few bumps here and there," I told him while moving my head from left to right. "But for the most part, I've been having a great time today."

Lord Liquiir: "I'm glad to hear it. I'm happy when you're happy." I smiled at him.

Lord Beerus: "Thank you!" I tilted my head to the right. "If you don't mind me asking, why were you talking about me?" He took his arm back and folded his paws in his lap.

Lord Liquiir: "To be perfectly honest, I was giving Bulma and Heles a culture lesson about my people. When I finished explaining some parts of my culture, Bulma asked both of us what being a Destroyer is like. One thing lead to another until eventually, Heles asked how you do. That's about the time when you showed up."

Lord Beerus: "Okay. Do you think you could give me a quick lesson?"

Lord Liquiir: "Sure, I'll be happy to!" he eagerly agreed. "You know how you're petting my tail, right?" I looked down at the appendage I've been gently stroking all this time. I looked up at him again.

Lord Beerus: "Yes."

Lord Liquiir: "You see, our tails mean a lot to us. They give us some degree of strength and longevity. You can kind of think of them as extra hearts, but they are so much more. Our physical, mental, and even spiritual health are tied to them. If we were to ever have them injured, we would actually become sick and weaken. Drastically so if they were lost. If that were to happen, our lifespan would decrease, as well. Additionally, we may fall into a deep depression, especially if we lost all of them. There have also been cases of my people committing...suicide after they had lost all of their tails." My eyes widened in shock. What the fuck?! Excuse me?! If I had been drinking anything, I would have done a spit take! If I had been eating something, I would be choking right now! I quickly let go of Liquiir's tail and crossed my arms tightly. So tightly that it's as if an invisible straight jacket was just put on me.

Lord Beerus: "Suicide? They mean that much to you and your people?" He nodded in confirmation. "Then why were you letting me pet it?"

Lord Liquiir: "It's because you mean a lot to me. And I completely trust you. I know that you would never hurt me. If I didn't think that I wouldn't let you anywhere near them. That's how much faith I have in you. Actually, no. This is how much faith I have in you." Slowly but surely all three moved over to me, but I feel like he's waiting for something. Is it me? Does he want me to grab them? I looked at him nervously.

Lord Beerus: "Are...are you sure?"

Lord Liquiir: "Yes, I'm sure." Okay, then...I very carefully reached over and softly grabbed all of them. He flinched slightly, but like before, he's not saying anything and he's not making any attempt to stop me. I wiped my forehead with my right paw even though I'm not sweating. I guess the action helps me to calm down.

But damn. This is so tense. If I do one wrong thing, I'll hurt Liquiir deeply on many different levels. Even worse, I'll lose him as my best friend. Still, he's putting his well-being and our friendship at risk because he trusts me that much. Someone who's known for destroying entire planets on a whim, to hold and pet them. I feel honored but at the same time terrified.

I placed the three pillowy extremities between my fingers and moved my paw in the opposite direction. I'm still hearing no complaints, so I gently continued to repeat the gesture. It's like what you'd sometimes do with your fur or your hair or something. The softness of them between your fingers feel nice when you move them the other way. "You could do more...if you want." More? What does he mean by that? I...I guess it's time to experiment.

I wrapped one tail around my waist like a belt and put the second behind my head, using it as a cushion. I looked over at him. He's staring intently at me, seemingly in anticipation. But for what? Maybe he's waiting for the moment when I stop. He might have faith in me, however, it doesn't exactly mean that he's entirely comfortable with this. That's my guess. Finally, as for the third tail, I'm now hugging it closely while petting near the end of it.

Lord Beerus: "Is this what you meant?" He nodded and looked away.

Lord Liquiir: "Mm-hmm." Whoa. He's hunched over, his breathing sounds shaky, and he's clenching his paws together tightly in front of his face, almost like he's praying. Praying for me to stop, probably. I think that now would be a good place to. I released all of his tails and gave them back to him. He inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Th-thank you."

Lord Beerus: "You're welcome. It means a lot to me that you trust me so much. I'm drunk right now, you know that, but you're still letting me hold and do...whatever to your tails." He looked over at me and gave me a small smile.

Lord Liquiir: "It comes with the territory of being best friends." I smiled back at him. "Besides, it looks like you've gotten better." I nodded.

Lord Beerus: "I'm not going to lie, half an hour ago I was a mess. On the drunkenness scale, I was, like, a six or a seven. That scale is ten. But now, I'm a two or a three. I guess my divine met...met...what's the word I'm looking for?"

Lord Liquiir: "Metabolism. If we want to get technical, you're referring to alcohol metabolism, or how your body breaks down alcohol."

Lord Beerus: "Oh, okay. But yes, I think my body breaks it down a lot faster than your average mortal. So much faster. One of the many perks of being a god. Also, I'm not going to lie. If I came here earlier, you would probably be punching me in the face because my state of mind was much worse."

Lord Liquiir: "From what I've heard, that sounds about right." We both shared a laugh at that. This is the most fun I've had today! Is...is it sad that me talking about getting my face punched is the highlight of today? Probably. My ears twitched at a sudden sound coming from the door. Liquiir and I looked over just in time to see Bulma coming in.

Bulma: "Hey, guys. Sounds like you're both having a good time."

Lord Liquiir: "Of course. It was hard, but I can have fun with anyone." I scoffed and lightly pushed his shoulder.

Lord Beerus: "You don't know what you're talking about. I'm lots of fun." He pushed me back.

Lord Liquiir: "That's debatable." There we go. I was wondering if I was going to see his trademark smile again today. He looked over at Bulma and stood up. "So, it's time to meet up with everyone again, right?"

Bulma: "Uh-huh. We're all meeting outside by the gazebo." I stood up and nodded.

Lord Beerus: "Sounds good to me. Oh, and Bulma? Please pardon my earlier behavior."

Bulma: "It's okay, I don't hold it against you. Alcohol tends to have that effect on people. So do pregnancies, which is what your mood swing reminded me of. I got them and they were really bad on some days." My drunkenness is being compared to a pregnancy? Wonderful. That's what I want to hear.

Lord Beerus: "I'm sure they were," I said indifferently." In any case, don't tell anyone about how hysterical I got."

Bulma: "I wouldn't dream of it."

Lord Beerus: "Excellent. If you can, try to delete that memory...from your memory. I know I will." I cleared my throat. "Let's go." After that declaration the three of us left the room together. The end is near! With any luck, no one will want to hit me as soon as I get outside.


Yay, me! No one wanted to kick my ass! I mean, a lot of people were still a little pissed off. A lot of people. But I apologized and everyone forgave me easily enough. I didn't turn into a sniffling mess again either, thankfully. Sober Beerus would never have been able to live that down.

Of course, even if any of the other Destroyers wanted to kick my ass - I honestly don't have anything to fear from the mortals - they had to leave fifteen minutes early. Go figure. Just as soon as I became more or less normal they all had to go back to their universes! They even almost missed the pretty rainbow cake! I'm happy that it was saved and that I managed to apologize, but I wish that they could have stayed until the celebration actually ended. It was fifteen lousy minutes! I wanted to talk to them more! Wait, I wanted to talk to them more? Ugh, I am still so drunk.

Anyway, I'm eating my third slice at one of the setup picnic tables with Liquiir sitting on my right. He's the only one who didn't have to leave, not that I'm complaining. He's also been sticking to me like glue ever since we got here. He must be making sure that I don't say or do something stupid again and cause more problems. Or he's making sure no one does punch me. Maybe it's both, but I don't care what the reason is. I have someone to talk to this way. Strangely enough, he didn't take his piece of cake when it was offered. I suppose he's not hungry. Heh. More for me!

Lord Liquiir: "Hey, Beerus, I was wondering something," he suddenly said. My mouth is full, so I can't exactly answer him right now. "Did you truly have fun today?" I swallowed my food and looked at him.

Lord Beerus: "Yes. Maybe not the most fun I've ever had, but I did have fun." He looked away and stared ahead at the forest in front of us.

Lord Liquiir: "Hm. Do you think you'd be saying that if you weren't a little drunk right now?" Would I? Well...

Lord Beerus: "Honestly? Probably not. If you remember before I started drinking, I wasn't looking forward to this." He nodded.

Lord Liquiir: "I remember..." He sighed. "Excuse me if this sounds incredibly conceited on my part, but I feel like the reason you drank so much is partly my fault and that makes me feel bad." I shook my head in disagreement.

Lord Beerus: "No, it's not your fault at all. It's all mine. I feel bad right now. You could be enjoying yourself right now and you're stuck babysitting me." He looked at me again.

Lord Liquiir: "It's okay. I don't mind watching over you." What hurts the most about that statement is that he really means it. It's only making me feel even more guilty about this whole situation I put him in.

Lord Beerus: "It's not okay. It's not. I just...look, I want to make it up to you. How about we spend the entire day tomorrow together at your home, starting at ten o'clock am. We can do whatever you want. We'll have lots of fun and I won't take no for answer. So, what's your answer?" He chuckled.

Lord Liquiir: "I could answer that in so many ways. There are a lot of other words and phrases that mean 'No.' But I would be a liar if I said that I don't want that. I mean, you don't have to do that for me, although that idea does sound great. The answer I'm getting at is yes." I smiled and wrapped my arm around his shoulder.

Lord Beerus: "There we go! Speaking of great, someone like you shouldn't be sad. You deserve nothing but happiness." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. We've been doing this a lot, lately. But I don't mind. It's nice.

Lord Liquiir: "Thank you. You, too." Excellent! Just as I planned, the plan's coming together!

Korn: "Ahem. Lord Liquiir, I'm sorry to interrupt your time with Lord Beerus, but it's time to return to our universe now."

Lord Liquiir: "Really? That's a shame." He took his arm back and stood up. I stood up with him.

Lord Beerus: "That sucks is what it is."

Lord Liquiir: "True, but as you know, a God of Destruction's job is never finished." Yes, because I definitely don't have a very low mortal ranking and I definitely don't have a ridiculous amount of time on my paws. He looked at his assistant. "You heard our plan for tomorrow, right?" He nodded.

Korn: "Indeed, I did. It sounds like an excellent idea."

Whis: "Oh, I concur!" Whis added, who is standing behind me. "I believe that it would do my lord some good. It's much better than having him sleep weeks, even years on end."

Lord Beerus: "Be quiet, Whis! You don't know what you're talking about!" Liquiir balled his right paw into a fist and brought it up to his mouth.

Lord Liquiir: "Cough! Hide and seek! Cough!" I turned around and focused my attention on the cheeky bastard.

Lord Beerus: "Oh, yeah?! Well, guess what? You can forget about our plan for tomorrow! What do you think about that?" I asked as I crossed my arms. He just shrugged.

Lord Liquiir: "Think about what? Did we plan something? I forgot already." I groaned in annoyance.

Lord Beerus: "Why am I not surprised?"

Lord Liquiir: "Ha, ha! Because you know me all too well." He went over to Korn and placed his right paw on the Angel's back and waved with his left. "Goodbye, Beerus! See you tomorrow! Goodbye to everyone else! I'll be sure to come back when I can!" We all waved and said our goodbyes as the two left. Wait. Liquiir joked about the All-Universe Hide and Seek Tournament. He almost got erased, along with me and everyone else, and he actually joked about that! If that doesn't prove he's over it, I don't know what will.

Whis: "I believe that now would be a good time to leave," Whis suggested from my right side. "Wouldn't you agree?" I looked at him and nodded.

Lord Beerus: "Yes, I do." I turned my attention to the others. Goodbye, everyone. I had a lot of fun. Let's never do it again." Bulma sighed. She looks like she's going to say something important.

Bulma: "Lord Beerus...I'm glad you had fun." Oh. That's a letdown, I thought there was going to be more to that. For some reason, I feel like she wanted to say something else. Whatever.

Lord Beerus: "Thank you very much. I wish I could stay longer, but that's a lie. I don't really wish that at all." I placed my right paw on my attendant's back. "Let's go, Whis!"

Whis: "Of course. Good day, everyone." With a simple tap of his staff, we left to go back to my world before any unwanted guests could join us. Knowing those two, if we didn't leave when we did, they would have just grabbed on without a second thought. It's only been a few days since the tournament, but I can tell that they're eager to start doing something that involves fighting. Although they've both accomplished so much, especially Goku, they're never satisfied. They'll always want to see if they can improve further.

In Goku's case, anything is possible with that man. He mastered Ultra Instinct after only a few battles, whereas I am only halfway or so to complete mastery. But, am I jealous of him? No, not at all, never, maybe, a little bit. Even so, I'm still proud of him and Vegeta. And now, if I want to, I have sparring partners. That being said, if they do visit my planet once more, perhaps they'd rather spar for real? I don't know.

What I do know for a fact is that they both would still love a fight if one presented itself. Honestly, though, why can't they just relax? Tch. That's like asking if Liquiir can stop being a smartass. They can't do it. It's in their nature. Their annoying, punch-happy, Saiyan nature. "Lord Beerus," Whis started, "how are you going to prepare for your special day tomorrow?" I got into a sitting position and crossed my legs.

Lord Beerus: "'Special'? I'm not getting married. Also, are you kidding me? My head's hurting. As soon as I get home, I'm going to sleep. That's how I'm preparing."

Whis: "I see. I am afraid that it is your fault for drinking with such reckless abandon. You should consider yourself lucky that your body is capable of metabolizing alcohol so much more quickly than most other beings."

Lord Beerus: "I know, I know" I agreed while holding my head with my right paw. "Tell me about how my body metabolizes that evil liquid," I told him sarcastically.

Whis: "I'd be happy to!" No, wait, I didn't mean it! "When you drink an alcoholic beverage, around two to eight percent is lost through urine, sweat, or breathing. The other ninety-two to ninety-eight percent is metabolized by your body. All ethyl alcohol, which is broken down in your body, is first converted to acetaldehyde, and then this acetaldehyde is converted into acetic acid radicals - also known as acetyl radicals." Why me?! Am I not being tortured enough with this headache?!

Lord Beerus: "I've changed my mind, Whis! My head is hurting a thousand times worse! I'll be taking that nap now. With that being said, shut up and goodnight."

Whis: "As you wish. Goodnight." Finally! I happily closed my eyes. After a day like today, with all of its ups and downs, I need to rest more than anyone else.


I went through so many ideas on what to do with drunk Beerus, which included having him and many other people play War, Uno, or Would You Rather, before deciding on just having him wander around the general area and cause a lot of trouble. I'm sorry if I made the interactions between Beerus and Liquiir too sweet. Well, I suppose right now they're more brotherly than anything.

As always, I hope you all enjoyed! Until the next chapter, D.F.T.B.A. (Don't Forget To Be Awesome!) Have an awesome day!