. . .
Sven
. . .
I was standing here, in that place again. Surrounded by concrete walls, coarse gravel beneath my bare feet while spotlights burned down on me from above. And above those lights, a raised cage of wiring, just enough space so that those of avian aspect weren't completely helpless. Beyond those steel bars, on the surface of this sunken arena, were the stands filled with roaring voices, strangely muffled in my ears. While a familiar metallic screech behind me sounded that the doors were closing, leaving was no longer an option.
It was time to begin.
Across from me she stood, a woman covered in stripes and trembling. Like a frightened little rat, you'd almost forget she was a tiger. Her sharp feline eyes were on me, somehow she was taller than me.
As I approached, she stepped back. "Y-You can't be serious... She's just a-"
"Come now! This should be easy for you!" I recognized that voice, Sloan's voice. "You don't want those kittens of yours to become coats now do you?"
What is this? I wonder as the world around me begins to shift, warping and twisting until all but the person in front of me is recognizable. She bares her claws, trembling with tears in her eyes. I can't hear her, but she's mouthing "I'm sorry" over and over again.
What was she apologizing for? Isn't this... What we're supposed to do here? Why is she crying? Why does she care?
We're both just... Beasts, right?
The moment she reaches for me with those sharp, feline claws, I move.
She had no guard, not even a hint of caution. I jumped right at her face, with one hand drawn back, I ran my talons across her neck. And felt that familiar crimson liquid stain them. She hit the ground, choking and sputtering as I touched down. The crowd erupts louder than ever before, as the world around me returns to normal.
"Such a shame, shouldn't have come alone you stupid cat!" Sloan's harsh, cruel words are followed by mocking laughter.
Why am I here again? Why did I kill that woman? What's going on?
I notice, the walls around the pit are running with blood. It soaks the arena floor, and begins to rise at an alarming, unnatural rate. I need to climb, I have to escape or I'll be drowned in blood. Just as I reach the wall, and try desperately to dig my nails into the crude stonework, I feel something tugging on my leg, so I look back.
I never should have looked back.
She's there, the tigress, clawing at my heels trying to pull me in. And more hands, more dead faces I barely remember are starting to rise from the blood as well, grasping at me with broken claws. All of them screaming, shouting words and accusations that shake me to the very core of my being.
I can't escape, the blood keeps rising and I keep sinking.
The last thing I see, before it all goes dark is that beak, twisted into a sneer as he watches from above.
. . .
I bolt upright in my bed, heart racing and body covered in sweat despite the chill permeating this cramped living space. It takes a moment for reality to reassert itself, as my eyes drift between the walls and the single window of this tiny little apartment. But when the moment passes, I cannot help but rub my head.
"More nightmares." I sighed heavily, forcing myself up, knowing there was no way I could go back to sleep after that.
The sun had already risen, no reason I couldn't start my day now.
Today, was March 15th. I was cleared to leave the hospital after almost two and a half months, and made arrangements in secret to secure a room in this place, The Hidden Condo. I'd only just moved in the other day, but I'd been out of the hospital for a little over a week. I stayed in a cheap hotel, until things were all situated here. All I really needed was to find a job now...
Avoiding Maria and the Band was... Easier than I expected. Maybe its because she knew I wanted to leave? Or maybe it was because they just left the city to tour in another region for a few months. Either way, I was no longer tied to them and could find my own way.
But these nightmares... I'd been having them for the last month of my recovery, not every night but they seemed to get more gruesome every time. Always a different face, always someone that vaguely clung to my memories. But... They were always saying things, terrible things, that's how I knew they couldn't be real.
I only ever fought savage, starved animals in the pit... Right?
My thoughts were interrupted by noise at the front door, a knock I think. I knew I wasn't the only person on this floor, I shared it with a sheep and and a grey wolf according to the pigeon that ran this place. I'd not met either of them, so maybe they'd come to introduce themselves?
Maybe that was a little optimistic.
Either way, I stood up and made my way to the door. The sound of shuffling feet moving further down the hall, I pulled it open just in time to see a tall figure disappearing down the stairs. The smell lingering in the air told me it was the grey wolf, but there was something else-
"Hmm?" I looked at my door, blinking in surprise as I spotted the paper left on its surface. It was covered in writing, I pulled it off as my eyes scanned over the words.
Dear resident of the Hidden Condo
I am Legosi the Grey Wolf, I moved into Room 504 at the end of January.
This Saturday, March 17 at 8:00 PM, I will be holding a rice cake roast on the rooftop.
I'm just sharing a huge box of them I received recently.
You are free to come, regardless of size.
I was... Confused. This was some kind of invitation, I think? Some kind of social gathering, but what are rice cakes? I knew about rice, but I'd never had "cake" before. I thought they were a pastry, but they were going to be roasted? None of this makes any sense. And room 504, that's the room right next to mine. So, that's where the Wolf I'd been smelling lived.
Was I the only one invited? Or was he posting these invitations all over the condo?
I really needed to stop and take a breath, I had more important things to do than worry about this. Like finding a job to actually pay rent, my rather generous severance pay would only last so long after all.
So I grabbed my coat, tucked up my tail, slipped on my gloves and glasses to hide myself before I left the hidden condo. On the hunt for employment...
. . .
Putting the idea of that invitation in the back of my mind, I spent the next two days looking for work.
The old pigeon that ran the condo was kind enough to show me a website where jobs were posted. And I quickly had a list of stores, warehouses, and offices to investigate for work. Mostly limited to things within walking distance, taking the train to work wasn't very appealing when I already had trouble finding my way around. Though, my list dwindled rapidly when the meetings with potential employers actually began...
Finding work was just as difficult as I expected. Any place that I managed to get my foot in the door usually turned me away once they were aware of my freakish hybrid appearance, or my lack of experience. It seemed finding anything that had to deal with public interaction would be impossible, nobody wanted the image of their business besmirched by my twisted body.
It was a kind of discrimination I was used to at this point, and I knew speaking out against them wouldn't do me any good. But I was beginning to grow worried, as my list kept getting smaller and smaller...
By late afternoon of the second day, I was down to only two options.
A sporting goods store, though working in retail sounded like I would immediately be turned away.
And finally, "A library..." I muttered, staring up at the doors sitting atop the stone steps. It looked like it could have been a nice place, once upon a time. Now it was rundown, in disrepair. This place was about a thirty minute walk from the Hidden Condo, the closest of my remaining options. From my understanding, libraries were all about books...
I made my way inside, as the sun started to set beyond the city's tall buildings. I was met with a rather... Dreary place, dim lighting over rows of bookshelves and dusty tables scattered throughout the interior. Maybe I wasn't an expert on modern business, or libraries for that matter. But, I had a feeling this place wasn't seeing much business. But this was definitely the right address, whoever ran this place was hiring an assistant.
"Oh? Are you here to check out a book?" My ears twitched at the sound of a higher pitched male voice, my eyes darting to find the source. "Down here!" Turning my head towards the desk not far from the entryway, I saw a small reptile waving back at me. He couldn't have been any larger than my forearm, with big eyes and speckled white and orange scales. Dressed in casual clothes, as he hopped up onto the desk. "Hello there, my you're quite a tall one." He added with a chuckle.
I blinked, "Uh... Yes, I am... Tall, not checking out a book." I replied, "I am here about the job offering that was posted about this place." He couldn't possibly be the one that runs this massive place, could he?
"Oh? Excellent! I was afraid nobody would answer," Instantly beaming, "That posting has been up for over a month, so hard to find anyone interested in the fine arts." Well, I was more interested in money, but I wouldn't say that. "My name is Milos, Tokay Gecko and new owner of this establishment!" Offering a hand to me.
I'd read that it was good etiquette to offer a finger in response to this gesture. Giving the entire hand could frighten a small creature like himself, so I did. Sticking out one of my long fingers and allowing him to shake it, as I struggled to process this. "I'm uh... Sven, it's a pleasure to meet you." My disguise still kept my hybrid features hidden, if I could just get through first impression without him having the chance to judge my appearance, I might get this job.
"Likewise! I'm sure you'll be a great help around here, a large powerful carnivore like yourself is exactly what I was looking for." He assured, hopping down from his desk with reckless abandon, and making his way further into the building. "Please come with me, I'll give you the rundown and a brief interview!"
I followed behind him at a staggered pace, extra careful with my footing as we went. "Alright."
"As you can plainly tell," He began as we passed by various shelves of dusty books. "This place has seen better days, I purchased it from the previous owner to prevent it from being bought up and turned into another soulless office building." He explained as we went, "I am a lover of the arts, and didn't want to see such an old building torn down, there's a lot of history in these walls you know?"
"Books are art?" I'd always assumed that art meant something painted.
"Of course they are!" He came full stop, turning to face me despite having to look up several feet. "Art is self expression, art is something a person pours their heart and soul into making! Art can be anything! It can be cooking, playing music, painting pictures or writing a poem!" He was certainly passionate about this.
It seems I was already tripping up. "Right... I didn't mean to offend, I'm just ignorant." Honesty, that was all I could offer in response. Even if I didn't fully understand him, I could understand that he was passionate about this.
His ferocity vanished in a moment, replaced by that friendly smile again, "Think nothing of it, I am happy to teach." He assured, continuing onward to the back door. "But sadly, I am only one very small lizard," Milos said with a faint sigh, as we stepped through to the back storage rooms. The walls were lined with various supplies for printing, arts and crafts, along with plenty of materials for cleaning and repairs. "I lack the physical ability to both run this place, and get it back into working order."
So he was looking for a repairman. "I uh... Am not sure I have the skills to repair this place," I explained, scratching the back of my neck. "I thought the ad was for an assistant... I've never done anything like this before." Weren't there construction workers for something like this?
"Then we can learn and figure it out together!" He nodded confidently, "I don't need it finished tomorrow after all, I waited for over a month just to have a single applicant! I can wait a while longer to see my goal realized!" He pulled a long string hanging from the ceiling, turning on a few extra lights by a nearby table. "Anyways, lets get to that interview!" There was a water cooler resting beside the table itself, maybe he did paperwork back here?
He was a strange little lizard, but he was straightforward... Honest. "Sure." I made my way over, and sat down as he climbed into the chair across from me. With him, he pulled up a small glass, where did that come from? The floor?
"Why don't you remove those sunglasses?" He asked suddenly, quirking an eyebrow, "We're inside, and the lights are dim enough as it is."
I hesitated, "I just... My eyes are a little..." Not now, when I was almost finished.
He tilted his head as I stammered, "Oh I see, you're meat drunk is that it?" Wait what? "You visited the Black Market recently, had your first meal and you're suffering some withdrawals." He wasn't accusing me of anything, didn't even sound bothered. I guess most lizards are carnivorous so it made sense. "It's okay, you won't be judged here, I'd prefer you could properly see."
Honestly, I'd rather have him know the truth than think I was out devouring meat last night. "It's not that," I sighed heavily, pulling off my sunglasses and setting them on the table. Opening my eyes and staring down at him, "I was... Trying to hide these." I explained, sliding off my gloves as well.
His eyes widened in surprise, "Oh my, well that's just-" Pupils darting to my talon tiffed hands as well. "You're a hybrid..."
"I'm sorry I hid it from you," I was not above begging. "I have been turned away from every other job purely because of my appearance, and I really need to find something that works or-"
"You've got a wolf's face," He interrupted me, leaning back on his chair casually. "Reptilian eyes... And avian talons, what exactly is your blood?" My ears twitched, and I stiffened visibly.
This was... The first time someone else actually asked. "Uh... M-My father was a pure blooded Red Wolf, my mother a hybrid Bearded Vulture and Black Caiman Alligator." A dull thud sounding behind me as I tail hit the floor.
"Amazing, I didn't think this level of multi-species cross breeding was possible," Milos replied, chuckling lightly. "Well, you don't need to worry about being judged by your appearance, if anything I'd say it works in your favor here."
He was lying, he had to be. "In my favor? How?"
He poured himself a glass of water, taking a sip before responding. "When I revive this place, I want it to be more than some boring old library, it'll be a gallery for arts of all kind, written, musical, sculpted, painted," The little lizard explained with a glimmer of excitement in his big eyes. "The unique, the never before seen, the underappreciated, the you!" Pointing one hand at me.
Underappreciated, unique... I wasn't sure if I should be flattered or not. "Well... I hope I can live up to your expectations."
Milos chuckled, taking another sip of his water. "I suppose we'll see, now... Let's get this interview really started." He added, clearing his throat. "Where do you live?"
"A small apartment, about 30 minutes from here on foot."
"And by car?"
"Don't know, don't have a car."
"Do you have a criminal record?"
"No." Technically not a lie.
"When was the last time you ate meat?"
"Hmm... Maybe four or five months ago."
"And you don't show any signs of withdrawal? Impressive." He noted with a satisfied nod.
"To be honest, I don't really have an appetite for meat." I replied honestly.
Another sip of water, "Hmm, a bold claim." Before setting his glass aside, he'd emptied it by about halfway at this point. "Have you ever committed predation?"
"You mean have I ever hunted and killed another animal to eat?" I questioned, "No." I considered death matches and actively hunting two different things, but maybe that was a delusion.
"Have you killed an animal before?"
"... Yes."
"But you have no criminal record?" He narrowed his eyes slightly, suspicions mounting.
I nodded, "It was self defense, a bear trying to kill me and someone I worked with at the time."
"When did this happen?" He added, sounding more interested than accusing.
"Almost three months ago, in December." I stated, "I spent most of the time since then in the hospital recovering from my injuries."
He nodded, "Hmm, I think I might have heard about that actually..." Please don't bring up Unity. "How old are you?"
"Nineteen."
"Do you live with your family here in the city?"
"No, I've been orphaned my whole life."
He noted down a few more things, I couldn't read them because his handwriting was so small. Before he set the notepad aside, and reached for the glass again. "I think we're just about finished... I'd love to know more about you, but I'll keep this interview professional," He chuckled lightly, "I just have one final question." He slid the glass of water to the center of the table between us, "Consider this a... Bonus question, it will have no effect on whether or not I hire you, are you ready?"
What was this? Did it have something to do with the water? "Yes."
"Is this cup half full, or half empty?" An amused grin spreading across his lips.
"Uh... What?" I blinked, tilting my head in confusion. "I... Don't understand the purpose of the question."
He seemed a bit surprise, "Oh? You've never heard of this before?" He asked, "Well, that does make this quite a bit more interesting... Think of this cup of water, like life." He explained, "Is it half empty? Constantly draining as it offers more and more of itself, until nothing is left?" He was certainly a philosophical lizard. "Or is it half full, with so much more left to offer before it is finally gone?"
So this had something to do with... Life? I wasn't sure I understood it any better. But my eyes never left the cup, "This is... Very confusing."
He laughed lightly, "Don't think too hard now, just go with your gut." Pushing the tiny cup further across to me. "Do you think this cup is half empty, or half full?"
I picked up the small glass between my index finger and thumb. I stared down into the water, at the reflection of myself staring right back. "Half empty, or half full..." I muttered.
Something happened in that moment, as I stared at my reflection. I felt... Strange, thinking about how exactly I ended up in this situation. I remembered the nightmares, I remembered the pit. The place I would still be right now, if I hadn't decided to go for a walk that night, if I hadn't met Lady Maria. The place I was supposed to fight for someone else's profit, until I was spent or killed. Something that I had accepted at the time.
I thought about Orgo, and how he would have killed me handily, and proceeded to devour my corpse. Something else that I'd accepted, because I didn't see any other way out. Until she, Moxie made one for me.
"I think... Neither answer is correct."
Milos quirked an eyebrow, "Oh?"
I tilted my head back, and downed what little water was left in the glass. "Yes, I don't think it matters if the cup is half empty or half full," Before I reached over to the water cooler, turning the nozzle and letting the water flow back inside. "Because no matter how much water is left inside, the cup can be refilled." Before I placed the full cup gently back in between us. "All it takes is the right person, at the right time..."
He stared back at me like I'd just slapped him across the face, eyes wide and filled with a glimmer similar that what I'd seen when he spoke about art. Before he practically jumped up onto the table, "Alright! That's it, you're hired! I know I said the question wouldn't matter, but you got me, that was great, I've got chills Sven! I'm cold blooded and you gave me CHILLS!" He was laughing, positively beaming with joy.
His complete lack of shame during this childish display was... Refreshing. He was so honest with who he was and how he felt. I breathed out a sigh of relief, "Thank you, I... Look forward to helping you achieve your goal." He was certainly an eccentric lizard.
He took my hand and shook it with both of his, staring up at me. "Be back here Monday at 9:00AM, enjoy your weekend and keep being amazing!"
Alright, maybe he was a bit more than eccentric, but... I felt like I was finally starting to make progress.
I'd only been on my own a short while, but I already felt like I was growing. Maybe it sounded strange, but that seemingly deep response only came out because... Well, I feel like when I stared at my reflection, I hardly recognized the girl who was staring back. I'd already started to change, I just didn't realize it until now.
I left the library, and started making my way back home. Checking the time as I passed by a nearby store, "Oh, 7:48..." I realized, remembering that piece of paper on my door. "I hope they don't mind that I'm a little late..."
