CHAPTER TWELVE - A GOOD FISH BUT A BAD WIZARD

Molly couldn't believe it. After everything she had been through, she had been reunited with most of her friends once again. Granted, they consisted of a scarecrow, a boy made of tin, a lion, a door guard, and someone who used to work for the 'bad guy', and of course Oona wasn't there, but she finally felt like she was back with her friends again. Mr Grumpfish had granted them all entry back into the Wizard's domain, shocked by the news that the Mean Witch of West was dead.

And even more shocked to find out that Gil ate her, which Molly was still uncomfortable with.

'Who's gonna get a brain?' Deema sang as they all walked down the hallway again. 'I'M gonna get a brain! Who's gonna get a brain? I'M gonna get a brain!'

Nonny chuckled. 'I can't believe it. After all these years of being a tin woodman, I'll finally have my heart again…'

'After all I went through,' Gil said. 'I think I deserve a little bit more courage!'

Molly still couldn't believe that she had the Witch's broomstick in her hand as she followed after Goby and swam down the hall. She didn't want to build up her hopes too much, but she could already see her friends' faces back in Bubbletucky. Still, she couldn't help but to look at Goby's hands movements. The way all his fingers touched their 'counterparts' on the other hand didn't put her hopes up.

The moment they arrived into the big room, Goby motioned for Molly to step forward. She nodded, and swam even further than she did the last time she was here. Holding out the broomstick like it was a trophy, she cleared her throat and spoke.

'Oh Mr Wizard! I think you'll find that we've brought back the Witch's broomstick, just as you asked!'

At first, the Wizard didn't show up on his mighty screen. Several seconds of silence had passed before another sound filled the air.

'HELLO?' Deema called. 'Mr Wizard?'

Finally, seemingly on the scarecrow's command, he showed up on the screen. He had his usual 'grumpy overseer' expression to begin with, before it changed considerably to one best described as 'oh crud'.

'You… you… SO I SEE! You have killed the Witch of the West by… eating her, I hear.'

Gil emitted a little burp. 'Guilty as charged!'

'CONGRATULATIONS, FOR BOTH YOU AND MY PEOPLE! For we can now live in peace with Oona the Good Witch of the North watching over us!'

Deema clapped, for both herself and everyone else. 'Awesome! Now, make with the brains please.'

The Wizard, oddly enough, just stared blankly at the lot of them, as if he wasn't expecting any of them to say this. In the middle of it all, you could hear a single slapping sound – it was the sound of Goby's hand meeting his forehead.

'OF COURSE! Yes, my promise! Return to me tomorrow to give me more time to think about this!' He announced before he disappeared.

Yes, really, that was it. To say that Molly and her companions were shocked would be an understatement. They could only stare in silence for a few moments, before…

'EXCUSE ME?!' Molly yelled. 'What do you mean you need more time to think about it? I think you've had enough time to think about it already!'

'Don't you realise how terrifying that ordeal was for us?' Gil demanded.

'I WAS NEARLY BURNED ALIVE!' Deema screamed.

One half of the group – the half I just mentioned above – yelled and hollered, while the other half was just a bit quieter. Nonny tried to fight back the tears, but of course he couldn't. The tears, as always, just rusted his tin skin and made his neck joint rusty again after Molly had oiled it up. Goby rubbed his temples, while Zooli just watched the whole thing in confusion.

While all this was going on, Bubble Puppy noticed something very odd in the corner of the room. It was just a photo booth, all doused in green, curtain and all, and he could hear a voice on the other side. The curious little puppy couldn't help running across the room, grabbing the curtain, and pulling it away. Zooli was the only one who noticed him pulling on that curtain, but before she could tell him to stop he had already pulled it all the way. And the sight on the other side made her gasp.

There was a big orange fish, who was dressed identically to the Wizard. Like, exactly the same.

'Hang on…' She said. 'Look over there!'

Everyone else looked in the direction of the green photo booth, and fell witness to the fish behind the curtain. The fish too turned around, and gasped.

'Uh, um…' He stammered. 'Pay no attention to the fish behind the curtain!'

While the others were too shocked to do anything – aside from Goby, who was just pinching the bridge of his nose – Molly approached the orange fish with an incredulous look on her face. The fish pulled on his collar and grinned nervously.

'You look familiar,' Molly said, putting her hand on her hip. 'Don't you think, Mr Wizard?'

'Yeah!' Gil said. 'Why do you look so much like the Wizard, hm? It's almost as if...'

'You've just been pretending to be the Wizard! Haven't you?'

The rest of the gang, except for Goby, approached 'the Wizard' in a group, practically ganging up on him. They all looked furious, except for Nonny who just looked sad. The fish sweat around his forehead, realising he had been revealed for the fraud he was.

'Okay,' He said, trying to stall for time until he thought of a plan. 'I know this seems really bad-'

'You bet it does!' Deema yelled. 'We see this giant big guy on a screen, and it turns out to just be some random fish guy. Are you even a wizard? Heck, can you even give us what we asked for?'

'Uh…' There was an uncomfortably long silence before he answered. 'No.'

'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!' Deema screamed.

She jumped down to attack him, but Gil grabbed onto her shirt and stopped her in a moment. Though she kicked and flailed, obviously a scarecrow isn't going to be able to much against a lion.

'LET ME AT HIM!' She shrieked. 'IF HE WON'T GIVE ME BRAINS, I'LL JUST TAKE HIS INSTEAD!'

'Deema, please calm down.' Nonny said. 'I'm sure he has a reason for this.'

'Your tin friend is right.' The fish said. 'I swear. If you give me the time to explain, I-'

'You know what you need to explain?' Deema asked. 'Where are your promises?! Nonny's heart, Gil's courage, Molly's way home, my brain?'

Everyone hounded complaints and demands at him, while Nonny slinked away like a rat retreating into the darkness. Deema was the loudest of them all, but everyone else did a good job at catching up. The 'Wizard' just sighed, and grabbed his microphone.

'WOULD YOU JUST LET ME SPEAK FOR A MOMENT?!' He yelled right into it.

The voice boomed all throughout the room. That managed to shut up just about every single one of them. Goby sighed and shook his head, while the others had to get their bearings after that loud voice shook them up.

'Alright then.' The fish said. 'You shouldn't be concerned at all that I can't make your wishes come true. Even if I was a wizard, I can't do what's already been done!'

This got him looks of confusion from just about everyone, except for Deema and Goby – the door guard sighed in exasperation, while the scarecrow had a look of murder in her painted eyes.

'Wait, what?' Gil asked. 'What do you mean?! I'm terrified just talking to you right now! When could I have possibly gotten my courage?'

'And I still do not hear my heart beating.' Nonny added. 'Nor can I feel it when I place my hand on my chest.'

'And WHERE are my brains?!' Deema demanded.

The fish – who we're just gonna call Mr Grouper now because I'm getting sick of calling him 'the fish' – sweated more and held up his fins in self-defence. Deema looked about ready to grab Nonny's axe and deal with this situation herself, but everything came to a stop when Goby swam out from the crowd and approached Mr Grouper.

'Why do we bother with this?' He asked. 'It never works. You do this song-and-dance every time, and all we get is confused looks.'

'Bother with what?' Zooli asked. 'Not to frustrate you further or anything.'

Goby rolled his eyes again. 'See?! Mr Grouper, do I have permission to deal with these guys myself?'

Mr Grouper nodded like a broken bobblehead and retreated into his photobooth whereupon he covered himself with the green curtain once again. Goby sighed, and turned around to address the group before him. He knew Zooli was just here for the fun of it, and he knew that Molly's problem would soon be taken care of, so he turned to Molly's three companions in particular. Nonny and Gil looked at him in anticipation, while Deema looked about ready to stuff him full of straw.

'It appears that none of you have caught onto what that 'wizard' was attempting to do.' He said, with a slightly condescending tone. 'So, I have a few questions to ask Molly.'

'Wait, me?' Molly said. 'Why?'

'Just answer my questions, okay? Now, someone on your team would've had to have been the one coming up with all the clever ideas. You know, the one who thought up plans to get you and the others out of trouble. Now who, Molly, was that?'

Molly stood there and thought about this question hard, thinking back at everything she and her new companions had gone through. She thought about all the clever ideas that had come out of her team – prompting the trees to throw apples, crushing that group of soldiers with a chandelier, taunting the Witch into hitting Nonny's tin body…

She gasped. 'Wait a moment. The smartest member of our team was probably… Deema!'

Everyone gasped and turned to the 'brainless' scarecrow. The scarecrow herself apparently didn't believe those very words, giving Molly a confused look.

'Um, what?' She questioned. 'Uh, I don't have a brain, remember? How could I possibly come up with all those clever ideas and plans without a brain?'

Goby shrugged. 'I have no idea, but you did.'

Deema opened her mouth to object, but Molly interrupted her.

'But he's right, Deema!' Molly said. 'You were always the one who came up with a plan to save the day. You may be kinda silly – that's an understatement – but that doesn't mean you can't be clever when you have to be.'

Deema grinned. 'Yeah! I have no idea how, but I think you're right. HA!' She puffed out her chest with pride. 'I must be the smartest person in all of Bubbledom!'

Goby chuckled. 'I wouldn't go that far, but you are certainly smarter than you give yourself credit for. You don't need a brain to be smart, Deema. People need brains to live, but think about how many of them are dumb as bricks. I hear social media is a great example of that. All you need is experience, and you'll learn all those things you don't already know. It's not your lack of a brain that makes you quote-unquote stupid, but instead the simple fact that you have spent the last few years of your life on a post in a cornfield.' He grinned. 'In fact, all you need is proof of your cleverness! Wait right there…'

The green-clad Guppy went around the photobooth, disappearing from sight for a moment and then returning to view holding a big black bag. He set it on the floor and rummaged through it for a few seconds, and soon pulled out a piece of rolled up paper. He handed it over to Deema like it was a crown.

She cocked an eyebrow. 'A piece of paper?'

'Open it up!' He said.

With a shrug, she unrolled the piece of paper, and her painted eyes sparkled. It wasn't just a simple bit of paper, but instead a genuine diploma! Well, it wasn't genuine, but it looked like it. Somehow, it already had her name – Deema the Scarecrow – written in fancy ink, showing off her accomplishment in 'thinkology', whatever that was. She turned it around and showed it off to all her friends, all of whom responded with a chorus of 'ooh!'s.

'The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!' She declared with all the confidence in the world.

Everyone else clapped and applauded her smarts, except for Nonny. He cleared his throat – an oddity, considering his lack of a throat – and raised his hand.

'Uh, sorry, but that isn't quite right.' He said. 'You're close. But it's a right triangle you're talking about.'

Deema snapped her fingers. 'Dang it!'

Goby chuckled. 'Don't be distraught, my scarecrow friend. Now you know! Not to mention, knowing that much about Pythagoras's Theorem when you've spent almost your whole life in a cornfield is actually quite impressive. You should be proud.'

To show off that she was indeed proud, Deema puffed out her chest. She even managed to shuffle some straw from her tail into her chest to make it look even bigger. To keep her special diploma safe, she shoved it into her hair. As a consequence, an apple fell to the floor, but no one really noticed.

'Now, the next question.' Goby said. 'Molly, which one of your companions was the sensitive one? Which one cried whenever their friends were in trouble? Who was the one who always had a hand to lend, and was willingly to sacrifice themselves for the ones they loved?'

Molly smiled. 'Well, that one's easy – Nonny! The poor guy cries whenever things seem bad for me, which is a shame since that rusts his own skin.'

Goby grinned. 'Ah, so you say the supposedly heartless one was the sweetest one of the group?'

Nonny's eyes widened, and everyone looked to him. He tapped his tin fingers against the blade of his axe, something that would be incredibly dangerous if he wasn't made of metal.

'T-That can't be true.' He said. 'I-I don't have a heart. I used to have a heart, before the Witches cursed me to become what I am now, but I don't have one anymore.'

Zooli laughed. 'You sure? Cos I can see the tear marks going down your cheeks. Don't try telling me that's just rain, cos I know it ain't.'

'Oh yeah!' Deema said with a giggle. 'You should've seen him when Molly was swiped by those flying frogs. He cried so hard that his neck rusted over completely!'

Nonny shot her a look of annoyance, which shut up her giggling almost immediately. With her laughter over with, he could think about what Goby told him. Well, he did have those rusty tear marks on his cheeks to prove his regular sobbing.

'And frankly,' Goby said. 'You should be thankful you don't have a heart. Like with brains, people need them to live but there are still so many heartless people out there. Hearts can be broken, and you'd have your heart broken hundreds of times by now if you had one. Hearts are double-edged swords to be sure, and always will be until they are unable to be broken.'

Nonny frowned. 'But… I still want one. I can take my heart breaking, even every day, if I could get the benefits of having one.'

Goby shook his head. 'You've already got the benefits of having a heart without any of the drawbacks! But, if you really want one, I can arrange something.'

He reached back into that black bag, and while it took him longer to find than the diploma, he soon fished out another object. It was a watch, with a strap lined with white plastic flowers. Nonny's metallic eyes seem to spark with life as he got a look at the watch itself – it was shaped like a big red heart. He took it from Goby's hand in seconds, and held it up to his ear.

The Tin Guppy grinned. 'It beats! It beats just like a heart!'

In reality, it was merely ticking-and-tocking like a regular watch, but it mimicked the beating of a genuine heart more than enough to placate Nonny. Better yet, it had a little magnet attached to the back of it. So, he placed it where his heart would've been if he had one, and it stuck to his metallic skin like a charm. The 'beating' echoed quietly in his hollow body, allowing him to hear the light beating just loudly enough.

'Noice!' Deema said, clicking her cloth tongue. 'Now you can wear your heart on your sleeve, almost literally!'

Goby turned to Molly once again. 'I have but one last question. Now, all three of your companions, with the help of Zooli, rushed to save your despite the danger. But who was it, exactly, who was the most terrified yet appeared to be the bravest?'

Molly opened her mouth to answer, but Deema was quick to beat her to it.

'Oh Gil, without a doubt!' She declared. 'You should've seen the way he taunted the Witch of the West to fire at him!'

'That's nothing compared to what he did when those winged frogs kidnapped you.' Nonny said. 'He seemed to change completely.'

Gil rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. He could hardly even remember that moment anymore, thanks to it being nothing but him running on rage. Still, it scared him thinking back on it.

'Nah, that doesn't count.' He said. 'I-I was still terrified, you know. My heart was beating so fast that I almost had a heart attack!'

Goby sighed, starting to get a little impatient. 'Alright then. You tell me that you want courage, correct? Can someone in this room please tell me what the definition of 'courage' is?'

Nonny was about to respond, much like his real counterpart back in Bubbletucky, but seeing as he was the one who wanted a heart and not a brain, it wasn't his cue. It was, of course, Deema who leapt in to answer the question instead.

'OOH! OOH! I know, I know!' She yelled, before clearing her throat. 'The definition of courage is: the ability to do something despite how scared one is to do it. Am I right, or am I right?'

'Correct!' Goby said, giving her a thumbs-up. 'You see Gil, you were terrified of every situation you found yourself in. But that didn't matter. You faced your fears head-on and fought them! Being courageous is not the same as being fearless. In fact, I think being courageous is far braver. Having no fears is one thing, but being scared out of your wits and doing it anyway is something else entirely. All you need is to have more confidence in yourself! Maybe having some physical proof of your courage will do it…'

He reached into that black bag one more time and fiddled around a little bit longer than before. There were several objects in that sack, most of which were useless things that only helped add to Mr Grouper's 'powerful' illusions. After a while, he finally found what he was looking for – a great big silvery medal on a red ribbon, depicting a cross on top of a shield. On the medal was one word, written in blue – 'COURAGE'.

'A… a medal?' Gil questioned.

Goby nodded. 'Yep! For years and years we've presented heroes with medals as proof of their heroism and courage. Sure, it's just a piece of metal by the end of the day-'

'Hey!' Nonny retorted.

'But it's not the medal itself that's the prize. It's the recognition that you are, indeed, a hero for the world to see that's the real reward here. And so, as the door guard of the Emerald Sydney itself, I bestow upon Gil the Courageous Lionfish this medal of valour!'

Gil bowed before Goby and allowed the green-clad Guppy to place that medal over his neck. The shiny silver stood out from his somewhat-mangy orange fur, and the red ribbon couldn't get lost in his great blue mane. He puffed out his chest, letting the medal stand out and reflect the green ceiling light above him. Everyone, except for Molly, crowded around him to marvel at his new medal while he posed like he was ready for a photoshop. Molly was a little too worried about getting what she wanted – no, needed – to celebrate with them.

'I don't want to seem selfish,' She said to Goby. 'But is there anything in that bag that'll help me get home?'

Goby put his hand to his chin. 'Hm… I'm not quite sure. I'll have to check with the Wizard on that.'

So, he turned around and pulled the curtain away.

'Mr Grouper, do we know how-?'

But Mr Grouper was gone.

'Oh no…' Goby muttered.

'The Wizard is gone!' Molly cried.

'Gone?!' Everyone else yelled at the same time.

Author Notes - I let Goby do the Wizard's work instead of Mr Grouper because he hasn't had much screentime in this story compared to the others, and I wanted him to do something special to make up for that.

I was gonna try to make The Great and Powerful Grouper a likable character, but like many modern adaptations I decided to go down a different path. I mean, for god's sake, in the books he was so high on the power that he kidnapped the rightful ruler of the Oz (a baby princess named Ozma) and gave her away to a former wicked witch. Yes, really. Look up The Marvelous Land of Oz. There's a reason why most adaptations nowadays have him be shady but well-intentioned at best, and an outright villain at worst.