Chapter 9
"Pumpkin, there are some things I need to tell you," Dad started. "When I joined the Army, I met a wonderful woman, Pilar Garcia. You resemble her in a lot of ways. Only her face shape and eye colour were different. She was kind, generous and loving. Pilar had long dark, curly hair and amber eyes. She was just a few inches shorter than you. I was completely in love with her. Pilar and I were romantic soulmates." His voice hitched as he told me about Pilar.
I gave him time to reign in his emotions. Once he was grounded, he continued. "She was the love of my life. Don't misunderstand, I love your mother too. It's just different from the love Pilar and I shared. Before I left on my second tour, Pilar announced she was pregnant. I was over the moon excited. It was difficult being separated from her, knowing she would likely give birth before my 9 month mission ended." His voice cracked. This next part was going to be difficult for him to admit. I already knew what happened next.
"I was deep in the jungle of Columbia with my team. My handler was unable to contact me. Our CO checked in every few weeks, but the messages were encrypted and one way. We could make contact to check in, but we couldn't receive any messages. Pilar went into premature labour on October 12, 1980. Her family was celebrating their grandparents anniversary. I don't know what happened at the party, but her cousin Juan's wife Nissa also went into premature labour. Both women were taken to George Washington hospital. My wife's uterine artery ruptured during labour. She was only 24 weeks pregnant, Nissa was 26. They didn't get Pilar to the hospital in time to save her life. The doctor quickly delivered my son by c-section. He weighed just shy of 2 pounds. A few days later, he died. Nissa's baby, being 2 weeks further along, survived."
"Is that why you're always sad on my birthday?" I had to ask.
"Yes, you share your birthday with your half brother. Having you makes the pain easier to bear," he said as he pulled me into his arms.
"What would you say to your son if he was alive today?" I knew this was going to hurt him, but I needed to be sure he could handle finding his son very much alive.
"I would tell him to live his life to the fullest. Never say no to love, even if it hurts. When you find your romantic soulmate, hang onto her and never let her go." Tears rolled down his face when he added, "And I would say 'I love you'."
I really wanted to tell Daddy about his son, but I needed to be sure his son wanted to meet him too. We held each other until our tears subsided.
"I love you Dad," I whispered into his neck.
"I love you too, Pumpkin."
"Daddy?"
"Mmmhmmm?"
"I wanted to ask you about something, but I'm afraid you'll get mad at me."
"You can ask me anything. I can't promise not to get angry, but I promise not to yell," he carefully answered. I unwrapped my arms from his neck and moved to grab my laptop. He was curious why I needed it and what I was planning to ask.
"I've been hearing a lot of rumours since I was young. Mom would be talking to her friends about Skye Barnhardt and her daughter. Skye's husband Joshua divorced her when he discovered he wasn't Joyce's biological father. It was rumoured one of the Burg men had an affair with Skye, resulting in her pregnancy with Joyce." Dad sighed as I was explaining everything I heard as a child.
"That woman doesn't know how to keep her mouth closed. She's always flapping her gums whenever she hears any 'salacious news' regarding other Burg women. What I share with you today, must remain between the 2 of us. Do you promise?"
I had a strong feeling I was about to learn more about my parents than I wanted to know. Yet I still answered, "Yes Dad. I promise."
"When I was in the Army, I trained with Anthony Morelli, Peter Costanza, Fred Gazarra and Joshua Barnhardt. We were also childhood friends. After I returned from my second tour and learned about Pilar and my son's death, I was a complete mess. All of us, except Joshua, were married to our romantic soulmates. Joshua was planning to marry Skye when he returned home. I was having a difficult time adapting to my loss. My best friend Joshua suggested we talk to our significant others, asking if they could offer me the comfort of a warm body. At first I didn't understand the magnitude what he was suggesting. We had a few months before our next deployment. A few weeks before leaving for another 6 months, I shared a bed with Angie, Sharon, Susan and Skye. Each time I wore a condom. All of us agreed to this arrangement. My friends were secure with their marriage. The women agreed to secrecy and to only participate when it was their turn.
Technically these women cheated on their spouse, but it was all consensual. I met Helen at church the following year. She was very beautiful. Her hair was long, dark and curly. I was mesmerized by her gorgeous blue eyes. In a way she reminded me of Pilar," he said as he rubbed at his soulmate mark. "I felt an instant connection to her. We got married the night before my next deployment. I was hoping to get her pregnant with our son on our wedding night. My tour lasted only 4 months. I was pulled from the team and sent to Ranger training. It was a new special ops program to replace the antiquated ones. Men from the Navy and Marines was also recruited. A total of 75 men were enrolled in the program. Only 30 of us would eventually graduate from the program and receive more training. I was excited. It would mean less missions and a higher paycheque. Helen was ecstatic. After my first mission, we'd have enough money to buy a house."
Training would last for 3 months. I would have some time off before my first mission. After learning of my first wife's death during childbirth, my CO was understanding and gave me time with Helen until your sister Valerie was born. On July 28, 1982, Valerie was born. She was a very small, dainty looking girl with hardly any hair. Helen was upset she didn't give me a son, but we agreed to give it another try. I had to wait until the doctor cleared her for sexual activity. My first mission as a Ranger was only a few weeks later. I would only be away for 2 weeks. Helen was happy my deployments were shorter. While I was away, I tasked Helen to search for a new home for our family. Living with her parents was not conducive to a happy marriage."
"What does this have to do with Joyce?" I asked. He laughed at my impatience.
"I'm getting there Pumpkin, be patient."
"Okay. I'll promise not to interrupt again."
"After I returned from my mission, I needed sexual release. Helen still wasn't cleared for sexual activities, so she suggested I use one of the women from before. I talked to the guys. They said I could use any of their wives provided Helen would be available should the need arise. Helen was a bit reluctant, but eventually agreed. She would rather have me sleep with one of her friends than give me a blow job to release the tension. I know she really didn't want to participate in 'sharing' our partners, but she was willing to give it a shot."
This was way more than I wanted to know. Hearing about my parents' relationship helped me understand Mom's comments about keeping your husband happy. I guess if she was willing to do anything to help Dad, she assumed I would do the same for my partner. How could they willingly have sex with other people? Didn't their vows mean anything to them? I couldn't help wonder why or how long they continued this arrangement.
"There was no love involved. It was all about sexual release. The only stipulation was to use a condom. After one of our missions, our testosterone level was heightened. We needed to have a good, hard fuck to ground ourselves. If one of our wives were pregnant or just gave birth, they were temporarily removed from the rotation. The woman on rotation this time was Susan Gazarra. She could see I needed to be rough and asked to have Fred in the room with us. I didn't really want an audience, but she never experienced rough sex either. After I got my release and disposed the condom, she pulled Fred into the bed. I left as they were gently making love. She needed to reconnect with him after our rough session. It was the last day I participated in this arrangement. I saw how my actions affected my friend. Seeing his wife with another man nearly shattered him. I couldn't imagine having to watch one of my friends fuck my wife.
A few months later, Helen was on her first and only rotation. After sleeping with Joshua, Peter and Anthony, we decided to remove ourselves from the arrangement. Fred and Susan had already decided to remove themselves after my last session with her. When Anthony had his turn with Helen, was very rough and abusive. He punched her in the stomach and bit her. I was furious. None of the other men abused my wife. He was a sick bastard and I didn't want him anywhere near Helen. I discovered he didn't wear a condom during their session, she became pregnant, but lost the child at 10 weeks. I was secretly relieved. There was a 50/50 chance it was my child, but I didn't want to potentially raise one of Morelli's bastard. Helen was devastated. The child she lost was a boy. We didn't bother with paternity testing. If he was mine, I couldn't live with the heartache of losing another son."
I patiently listened as he told me the story of his marriage to Mom and his early Ranger days. He was deployed for several more missions. After one mission in January 1984, he required some counselling. He saw and did things during the mission that were difficult to get out of his mind. His nightmares were constant. During one night, he woke up from his nightmare to Mom straddling him. Comforting him using quiet words or a tight embrace wasn't working. She could only think of one other method... sex.
"When she noticed my 'problem,' she did exactly what was necessary to wake me from the hell I was suffering in my dreams. I think you were conceived that night. Your due date was October 16. You were born on October 12. It was both a blessing and a curse to have you born on your brother's birthday. A curse because I was constantly reminded of that day. The blessing was having such a beautiful little girl to give me peace as I fought for our freedom."
My mind was trying to process all the information he gave me. He used me as a solace to calm his nightmares. I finally understood why Mom thought I should repair my marriage to Dickie. It never would have lasted in any case. Once I met Carlos, my romantic soulmate, my marriage to Dickie would have ended. Only a few people were unable to be with their romantic soulmates. Most of those people never met them, or one of them did something so horrible the other person could not forgive them. Joseph Morelli fell into the latter category.
"Thanks for sharing your story Daddy. It must have been difficult to share with your daughter."
"It was, but I hoped it answered your questions regarding Skye."
"In a way it did. But I want to know why you had a paternity test done with Anthony, Peter and Joshua."
"Skye got pregnant 4 months before your mother became pregnant with you. When Joyce was little and rumours circulated the Burg, your mother wanted definitive answers. Our 'arrangement' luckily was never discussed in the Burg. It was part of the agreement to take our secret to the grave by all parties involved. Helen wasn't convinced I gave up the arrangement months before Skye's conception date. Anthony, Peter, Joshua and I agreed to get tested at the same time. She was relieved to discover I told the truth. Joyce was definitely not my daughter."
"I think someone should have told Joyce sooner. This test was done when she was 16. Didn't anyone think to tell her?"
"By then it was too late. She already had sex with her half brother. I'm not sure she even realized they're related. It would devastate them if they found out. None of us wanted to be responsible for telling her the truth."
"So you just let her continue her promiscuous ways. I know she sleeps around. She needs to know about her father. I have a feeling she's been a royal bitch to me as a result of this stupid arrangement."
"I'm sorry Pumpkin. It was never my intention to have you placed in the middle of my screwed up life." I decided to forgive him and talk about the ESP conversation between him and Carlos.
"Why did you and Carlos exchange a silent conversation?" I asked, gently prompting him to continue the story.
"I met Ranger around 6 years ago. He was one of the men recruited to become a Ranger. Several of his men were also recruited. They were the best, highly skilled men in their Army troop. After following their missions, I agreed to train them. I was their CO during their time in the training camp. They are all honourable men. When they completed training, I noticed Carlos, Tank, Lester, Bobby, Cal, Hal and Ram were the front runners. I personally trained them for more covert operations. They became team Alpha. Other recruits filled teams Beta to Omega. If the mission required the best of the best, team Alpha was deployed. Ranger still has more time on his contract."
"I know Daddy. He already told me. I've decided to move into his apartment." I wanted him to know about our plans. "My apartment will be used for one of the guys to decompress. Morelli visited tonight. I think Mom told him I'd be home."
"I'm proud of you Pumpkin. Don't let your mother get to you. I'll talk to her about her meddling. She knows you met your romantic soulmate. I have no idea why she wants you with scum like Morelli."
"It really doesn't matter. Nothing anyone does or says will ever get me to date that swine. It's getting late Daddy. Carlos has been sitting in his car for the last 3 hours."
"Thank you for listening and for your forgiveness. I don't deserve to have such a wonderful daughter. I love you Pumpkin."
"I love you too Daddy. I think you suffered enough from you past mistakes. You can call me anytime. I would love to meet you for lunch sometime soon. We can talk about something less serious."
He laughed, "I would like that too. Take care of your man. He's one of a kind."
"Thank you Daddy," I kissed his cheek before he left. I had so much information to process. It was almost too overwhelming. Hopefully Joyce and her half brother can overcome their past.
