Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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~~Bella~~

The depression that took over my emotions was crushing. To me, Edward was the shiny grand piano, and I was the shabby upright. His world was the opulence of the purple bar, but he was happier in the seedy basement.

Could I make him happy?

I leaned against the wall under the buzzing of the neon sign, and sank to the ground. I touched my cheek where he had kissed me. It was like he had branded me.

I'm in love with him.

I had been trying to convince myself that it was just physical attraction and deny my emotions, but I knew now that I just couldn't. The desire to be with him was overwhelming and the now silent tears that flowed so freely, made my vision blurry and my nose snotty.

This wasn't a crush. This was more than friendship. This was eerily like the feelings that I previously held for Riley. I love him, and I want him to love me back, desperately.

I got a bit of a fright when I heard a male voice.

"Are you alright?"

I looked up, tried to wipe the tears from my eyes to see a young couple hand in hand walking by me. They were looking down at me with such pity, that it made my gut ache. I could just imagine what I looked like.

"I'm okay, really." I managed to give them a half smile. They reluctantly carried on walking down the street. As I looked up at their retreating silhouette, the fear and longing was so much more intense. That can never be me with Edward. We will never be able to walk down the street hand in hand, just enjoying each other. Mainly because I knew he didn't feel that way about me, and even if he did, the situation and reality of his life in the spotlight negated any possibility.

I thought back. Riley had hidden me away, made love to me in the seclusion of my apartment. He'd never declared how he felt about me to anyone. Would it be the same with Edward? Would he want to keep me hidden? I know he would want to protect me from the intense scrutiny of the media and fans. If I was going to be with someone, I couldn't be hidden away. I'd want everyone to know, I'd want a real relationship, one that was public and open. I never, ever again would be someone's dirty little secret.

Don't be insane Bella. Edward just wants to be your friend, nothing more.

I hadn't put my jacket on, but I plunged my hands into the pockets desperate to find a tissue. I found one that had been used, but it was all I had. I blew my nose and folded it before mopping up the tears that had fallen down my face and neck.

How can I feel this way? I only met him twelve nights ago!

I knew that Edward would have come out of the men's room by now, and if he saw I was gone, he would freak out and come to find me.

If he saw me like this, I'd have to explain myself. What could I say to him? "Edward I've fallen in love with you and it's scaring the shit out of me, because I know I'm going to lose you in three months when you leave."

I lifted myself up off the cold ground and took in some long deep breaths. I had to go back inside and pretend I was okay. I have to try and hide these feelings. I wouldn't be able to survive his rejection. I knew I only had a short time to be with him and I couldn't fuck that up by being an emotional wreck in front of him.

We're friends and we're working on the song together. That's all Bella.

I remembered his words from the night we had met in the bar. He said that he didn't get romantically involved with people he was working with. 'Messy and emotional' he had said. That's what I would be. I'd become this embarrassingly annoying emotional parasite. I could just imagine how fast he'd run from me, if he had any clue what I felt for him.

I descended the stairs tentatively, my legs felt like concrete. I glanced over to our table but he was not there. I eventually spotted him surrounded by musos, waiting to shake his hand and pat him on the back. He was talking and laughing with them, and he held a beer in each hand.

Seeing Edward surrounded, as the men casually waited for their turn to speak with him, was comical. I promised Edward he wouldn't be accosted by fan-girls, but his charm and talent had managed to excite a plethora of old men, who were buying him beers and slapping him on the back with gusto.

I stood on the stairs for a long while. I noticed Edward straining his neck casually to try and see if I was at our table. He finished one of the bottles of beer that he held and shook some more hands, and then someone offered him a cigarette. I stared in disbelief when he waved his hand in dismissal.

And then my mind wandered back to when we saw Ben's band play at Richards. He hadn't smoked. And then I tried to remember if I had seen him actually smoke a cigarette in front of me, and he hadn't. That night that we first met to talk about the song, he hadn't smoked that night, or any night since we had met. I just assumed he didn't smoke in front of me, as he knew I hated it. Could he only be smoking during the day, on set? I found it very hard to believe that he would not accept one now, when he was drinking and in a bar with smokers. He constantly confused me.

I slowly walked back to our table and took a huge gulp of mineral water. My eyes felt puffy from crying, and they were now sore from the haze of cigarette smoke. I placed my jacket back over the chair and headed toward the bathroom, deliberately staying out of his sight.

I looked in the dirty mirror and sighed. I looked like I had been bawling my eyes out. Thank god I didn't wear mascara tonight. I bathed my stinging eyes in cold water and tried to relax. I blotted my face with the scratchy paper hand towels and retrieved a hair tie from my jeans pocket. I gathered the bulky sweaty mess up into a pony tail, instantly feeling the cooler air in the bathroom caress my now exposed neck.

Once I went back into the bar, I saw he was still surrounded and with a fresh beer. The sound system played Van Morrison; no one had taken Edward's place on stage. He didn't look like he was in a hurry to leave, and I relished the thought of having some time to sit and calm down after my panicky realization.

When I got back to my table, the two elderly women that had previously sat with partners were now seated together at the table next to mine. "You are a very lucky girl," one chanted to me. She had a frizz of bright red hair, and a face that had been worn with age and cigarettes. They were both smiling at me and motioned for me to join them.

"He's not getting away any time soon dear."

I sat at their table, and smiled. "Hi, I'm Bella."

"Hello dear, I'm Shelly and this is Sue."

"Nice to meet you both."

"My dear, you mustn't let that one go. He's an extremely talented young man. Better make sure you take good care of him and keep him close."

I smiled at their belief that we were together. For casual observers of our interaction tonight, the sitting close and leaning in to each other to hear, the protective stance he showed when Laurent's eyes devoured me and the way he dedicated our song to me, his kiss...yes, to these ladies, it would seem that Edward and I were lovers. Oh how I wish that could be true.

"Edward and I are just friends; we're not together romantically." I stated, hearing how sad and pathetic I sounded at that admission.

They both glanced at each other and laughed at me.

"Dear, that boy is in love with you." Shelley stated, her kind eyes smiling and then she took a long suck on her cigarette her chest expanding and then exhaling the toxic cloud in a loud sigh.

"No, really, he treats me like a sister, he doesn't feel that way."

"Believe me when I tell you he is. I know that look anywhere. He may not have admitted it to himself yet, but he is in love with you. You can see it in his eyes, the way he was looking at you when he played that last song. He's got it bad!" Sue crooned at me, her authoritative statement made me blush.

"No, really, he only looked that way because I wrote the lyrics to that particular song. He's been trying to convince me how amazing the song really is, and I hadn't admitted it up until now. What you saw was his smugness shining through; he knows now that I won't be able to deny that the song is bloody brilliant."

"Bella I saw it. It's the same look Harry used to give me when we were your age. I'll never forget it. He was so handsome and talented. We've been together for thirty-four years. Mark my words, your Edward has been struck by cupid's arrow, he'll be a lost soul without you."

I wasn't sure what to say, and then Harry meandered over to his wife, and the look of love on his face as he approached her was magical. He simply kissed her on the cheek and then looked over to me.

"Harry, this is Bella." Sue introduced us.

"Pleased to meet you Bella," he gushed, and he reached out to shake my hand. "Your boy is a hell of a musician. He has a really bright future."

I knew my blush had crept back, and Sue and Shelley just grinned at me, but didn't correct him. The assumption that Edward and I were together was painful. I knew that I was obviously in enamored of Edward, but for them to think he held such emotions towards me was unimaginable.

"He's getting a little inebriated. Everyone keeps buying him beers. I think you should probably rescue him in a few minutes," Harry chortled.

I turned to look towards Edward. He had managed to inch closer toward us only marginally, and there still appeared to be at least six men waiting to talk to him. He smiled at me and shrugged his shoulders slightly and I smiled back meekly, trying to communicate that I was fine and not to rush.

I turned my head back to Shelley, Sue and Harry, who had sat down next to Sue, their hands knotted together on the table top.

"That last song he played was a masterpiece. He's telling everyone that you wrote the words Bella. Is that true?'

"Yes, I did." Blushing again.

"He's also telling everyone that you just brought him here without warning him, and he had no idea what he was in for."

I laughed. "I wasn't sure if he would have come if I'd pre-warned him. He's talented and a natural performer, but he has a fear of large crowds to some degree." Well, that was true; I didn't need to add he had fear of large (or small) female crowds.

Harry looked gobsmacked. "So, it's really true, he had what, no more than fifteen minutes to prepare for that fifty minute set? He just knew all those songs rote?"

I smiled and gushed, "Yes, amazing isn't he?"

"Will you bring him back Bella?" Harry demanded.

"I'll try."

We chatted for ages, Harry and Sue telling me about Laurent's and how they tried to come down often to meet with their friends and listen to music. I would casually look over to Edward and watch him as he chatted animatedly with a group of men, always with a beer in his hand and the occasional purposeful glance my way to see if I was okay.

"What time is it?" I asked, thinking I should try and get him back to the hotel at a reasonable hour. I'm sure he usually got picked up a five or 6am to get to the set. If he was getting drunk, like Harry observed, it would be a good idea to make a move.

"It's almost one-thirty," Shelley sounded tired.

"I better get him home then. It was lovely to meet all of you. Hopefully I'll see you soon, I'm sure Edward will want to come back." I stood and they all gave me warm smiles.

"Goodbye dear, remember what we said," the two women giggled like teenagers at me and that initiated another blazing blush. Harry just sat quietly contemplating what they may be referring to.

I turned to approach the cluster of men surrounding Edward. It was my intention to make eye contact, but he was deep in conversation. He did look a bit hot and flushed, but he seemed so comfortable, and that caused me to be hesitant at attempting to drag him away. My mind was debating on what my next move should be when I felt a large warm hand on my waist and I jerked my body away automatically and spun to the side to see Laurent staring at me with a suggestive smirk on his face that turned into a leering gaze at my exposed throat.

"Bella, my beautiful Bella. Thank you so much for bringing your friend. As you can see, word travels fast when we have new talent perform. I hope that you will bring him back very, very soon. He's really good for business."

Yes, I could see that was the case, the patrons were foisting Edward with beers and consuming quite a few themselves. Laurent stepped closer towards me and I stepped back away. His smirk widened. "You are welcome, come anytime. If there is ever anything that you want from me, just let me know."

His innuendos were making me very uncomfortable.

"Well actually Laurent, if you have bottled water or Gatorade behind the bar, could you get me some to go?" I smiled sweetly.

"My pleasure, beautiful Bella." He dipped his head in a nod that befitted a dastardly scoundrel.

I sighed with relief as he stalked towards the bar, and caught Edward's eye straight away. Had he seen that exchange with Laurent?

He held up one finger gesturing he would be a minute, and it was plainly obvious now, how intoxicated he had become. His body slightly swayed, and his eyes looked heavy, slightly bloodshot and tired.

In that instant, I remembered our jackets and I quickly strode back to my table to retrieve them. Sue, Harry and Shelley must have left the venue. As I gathered Edward's soft black leather jacket over my arm, Laurent appeared with a bottle of Gatorade and a bottle of water.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"Don't be ridiculous, it's the least I could do. This has to be one of my best evenings for months!" He kept his distance; maybe he got the hint that he made me uncomfortable.

He sauntered away, and I made the decision to interrupt Edward's admirers and attempt to get him back to the hotel.

I walked with purpose to the few remaining hangers-on, with the jackets over my arm and one bottle wedged under my armpit and one clasped as if ready to drink.

"Excuse me gentlemen," I interrupted. "I need to steal him away now." They all stepped aside and Edward looked down at me with a glazed look in his eyes and an exceptionally sexy and provocative pout.

"Please meet my Bella. The reluctant lyricist," he slurred. They all smiled and nodded to me.

"C'mon Edward," I teased. "Let's go, you have to work tomorrow." I took his hand. I tried to ignore the pulsing current that tingled up my arm.

I can't lose it now! I have to get him back to the Hotel. FOCUS.

Edward stumbled unsteadily passed the crowd as they slapped him humorously on the back, offered praise for his performance and warmly encouraged him to come back.

Edward draped his arm over my shoulder to steady himself as we slowly ascended the stairs. He didn't say anything, and I was suddenly anxious. If only I could read his mind.

We had approached the car. I pulled my body from under his arm and placed the water and Gatorade on the footpath. He was staring at me intently. I lifted his jacket to help him slide his arms into it, and quickly put my own jacket on, simultaneously pulling the car key from my jeans pocket to unlock the doors.

"In you go." I smiled and opened the door. He slowly reached across and placed his warm hand on my neck, his fingertips lightly tickling my sweaty skin.

"You amaze me," he had almost whispered the words and his normally sultry voice sounded scratchy and hoarse. His warm hand felt so comforting. I closed my eyes briefly, savoring the feeling of his skin touching mine.

FOCUS!

I opened my eyes to look at him. He was drunk; he was also on a high from the adoration of his audience. I wanted to read so much more into his actions and words, but I knew it would only be masochistic of me to fool myself into believing they could mean what I wanted them to.

My hand covered his on my neck. "Edward, I have to get you back to the hotel, to your room."

"Mmm, my room. Yes," he breathed, "take me to bed."

I sighed as I peeled his fingers from my neck. My heart drumming wildly in my chest and I held the door as he scrambled onto the back seat.

I grabbed the Gatorade and the water bottle off the footpath and offered him both. He grinned sheepishly at me and then took the latter. He unscrewed the cap and accidently splashed some water on his chin as he tipped the bottle before it reached his mouth.

He handed the half empty bottle back to me and then the cap. I replaced it, and placed both bottles on the floor of the car, retrieving the blanket. He had automatically laid down so I draped it over him. His eyes were already closed.

I shut the door and hurried into the car. My fingers were shaking with cold and nervousness. Oh God, I have to get him up to his room and into bed without anyone seeing us. The thought of some sleazy pap photographing Edward in this state made me cringe.

I started driving and planning out how I was going to get him inside the lift and up to his room. He was not going to be any help, and if he passed out and I couldn't rouse him, there is no way I could carry him.

"Edward, are you awake?"

"Mmmm Bella, you're going to take me to bed."

I had to keep him talking; it should only take five minutes to get back to the hotel, there was no traffic. I wanted him conscious so he could walk when we got there.

"Yes, I'm going to take you to the lift and then up to your room. What number is your room?"

"Three-four-zero-one, on level thirty-four."

"Do you have your room card Edward?"

"Mmm, it's in my wallet," his voice was sexy as all hell and the involuntary tingle between my legs was unbearable. The thought of seeing Edwards room, of seeing where he slept, was making me panicky.

"Can you get out your wallet now Edward? I don't want to wait. I need to get you to your room quickly."

"Oh Bella, yes," he practically growled my name and I had to remind myself that as delicious as Edward was, he was drunk and a red blooded guy. There was no way I could let anything happen between us tonight. I wanted and loved Edward, but I would never be able to reconcile being with someone whose decisions were clouded by lust caused by intoxication.

His hand snaked around to my waist from the back seat and his wallet fell into my lap. We were so close to the hotel now. And my mind was clouded with inappropriate thoughts. I had to snap out of it and get him safely to his room, without being seen.

I had turned the car onto the back street behind the hotel. "Edward, you'd better cover your face, in case there are paparazzi around."

The blanket muffled his words; he said something like 'Scum of the Earth'.

I pulled up to the roller gate and swiped the card. My anxiety increased tenfold as I pulled into the closest space I could find to the lift.

I killed the engine, switched off the headlights and took a deep breath. OK, Bella, you need to do this, like a machine, just get him safely to his room. Focus on the task.

I opened his wallet and found his room swipe card. My fingers lingered over a photograph of Edward and a girl I recognized as his twin sister Alice. I wonder if he ever called her back?

I snapped his wallet closed, and jumped out of the car to open the back door. I stuck Edward's room swipe card in my front jeans pocket and his wallet in my back pocket, and pulled to drag the blanket down his body. His eyes fluttered open as he looked up to me; his sexy smirk full of mischief.

He slowly raised himself up using the palms of his hands on the seat and then shuffled his gangly frame over, before stepping his feet on the ground. I grabbed both his hands and pulled and he stood up and leaned into me.

The electricity I felt made me gasp. Edward's hands snaked around my shoulders and he pulled me firmly against his chest. His cheek rested against my temple. "Mmmm, strawberries," he whispered.

I was melting with desire.

FOCUS!

My hands moved up between us to gently push on his chest with my open palms so his head moved away. He looked into my eyes; the burning intensity was making my gut twist and turn; his breath in my face, the smell of hops and malt from the beer, his body rocking slightly.

Unsteady, heady, lustful.

My thoughts were incoherent. Focus Bella, the task is to get him safely to his room without being seen.

"Your room Edward." I breathed out hesitantly and he closed his eyes and inhaled as my breath swept across his face. His hair was a shockingly, sexy disarray.

"Yes, Bella, I want you in my room," he moaned the words without opening his eyes.

This can't be happening. I will not be seduced by his words in his drunken state. My hands dropped to his waist as I pulled him forward so I could slam the car door closed and lock it. I placed his arm over my shoulder and lead him to the lift and pushed the call button. Please don't let anyone see us, I chanted mentally.

After a minute the lift dinged and the door slid open, empty. I pulled Edward in and hit thirty-four. It didn't light up; of course that was a locked floor. I dug my hand into my front pocket and pulled out his card, swiped it and sighed with relief when 34 lit up on the panel when I pushed the button.

Please don't stop, just go straight up to his level.

As the lift jolted with initial movement I closed my eyes. Edward was leaning onto me and the only sound I could hear was the soft classical music playing from the ceiling speakers and the faint sounds of our breathing.

I was willing the lift not to stop.

At the same time I was anxious and elated that I was holding onto Edward, he was so warm. I could feel his muscular toned body through his clothes that had been permeated with the stench of cigarettes.

"Tonight was wonderful Bella," he had leaned down to whisper in my ear; his hot breath sent a shiver up my spine and across my scalp.

I nervously glanced at the digital panel above the stainless steel lift doors, we were going to make it; we were passing floor 26.

"I trust you." His lips grazed my earlobe, and another chill ran through me. His weight shifted more to lean onto my shoulder and it was taking all my upper body strength to support him.

Finally the lift stopped and the doors slid open. I reached my hand up to cradle his jaw.

"Edward, we need to walk to your room."

He lifted his forehead and looked straight ahead. We stepped out of the lift and into the hallway. His arm left my shoulder and slid down to my waist as he turned his body to the left and walked unsteadily down the hall to the very end. Room 3401. I swiped the card and he pushed one side of the double door entrance.

We stepped into a dimly lit foyer. It had a patterned black and white marble floor, and a small antique side table that featured an elaborate flower arrangement. The door clicked softly closed behind us.

Adrenaline pumped through my body. I was completely sober and drinking in this new environment like a frightened deer in the woods. I was trying to focus on every detail of the room. I'm fucking standing in Edward Cullen's suite and no one has seen us!

He stepped cautiously forward his hand pulled my waist in the same direction and as he tried to grasp me more firmly his fingers slipped under my top. His warm hand was now caressing my cool skin in featherlike circles. My whole body was ignited with a desire so intense that I thought I would collapse.

He looked down at me with bedroom eyes. This couldn't happen. I can't let anything happen.

I turned sideways and pulled his hand from my waist whilst stepping forward. Swapping his hand from one to the other, I tugged his hand gently as we stepped into the hall.

"Which way Edward?" His hand squeezed mine and he stumbled forward and turned from the hall, pushing on a door and pulling me in.

It was pitch-black; I fumbled on the wall and flicked a switch that lit up two bedside lamps. The gold coloured drapes were drawn, the room was dominated by a massive king sized bed, perfectly made with the right hand side turned down, comfortable, enticing.

Edward was trying to step out of his shoes and I could see that he was having trouble even standing. I led him to the bed and sat him down. I was about to kneel to help him out of his shoes, when his long and muscular arms surrounded my waist. He rested his forehead against my stomach and sighed. I was afraid to breathe. His hands lightly kneaded my lower back. His legs either side of mine, just barely touching me.

I was in ecstasy. I couldn't stop myself; my hands tentatively went into his hair. I had dreamt of this moment since we met. His hands clutched me tighter, and he moved so the side of his face was flush against my tummy. I knew that he could hear my heart pounding. I wouldn't be able to conceal it, and I didn't want to. I wanted him to know how much his touch was affecting me. My fingers gently massaged his scalp, and caressed his neck. Time seemed to stand still.

I can't let anything happen.

I'm not sure how long we just stood, his hands gently caressing my back, my fingers playing with his hair, and occasionally digging sensuously into his scalp.

I can't let anything happen.

FOCUS!

I slowly lowered my hands and pushed back the collar on his jacket. He released my waist so I could push his jacket down over his arms. I clutched the jacket when his arms were free and swung it around and onto the floor. I stepped back tentatively.

His hands didn't return to my waist rather they clutched the edge of the bed and he bowed his head. I needed to get him to go to sleep. I had to get out of this room. I knelt in front of him and undid the laces on his Nikes. Slowly, I took each shoe off and then peeled his black socks off one by one. I dared not look up into his eyes, as I knew he was staring at me. My heart was still pounding and apart from our breathing the sound of the blood rushing to my head was all I could hear.

I can't let anything happen.

I felt his hand come down gently onto my shoulder and without looking at his face I stood up taking that hand off my shoulder and in mine.

"You need to sleep," my voice was barely audible.

"Bella. Do you feel it?" He groaned as he fell back onto the bed. The way he said my name was filled with wanton lust.

I can't let anything happen.

I stood at the end of the bed staring down at him. His eyes closed; his chest rising and falling with each breath. Did I feel it? Did he feel it? Oh God, did he feel the electricity as well? Was he referring to something else?

I panicked. I needed to get out of there but my legs would not move as I watched him. His eyes still closed, his breathing slowing down. The throbbing pulse in my temples was deafening in the quiet of the room.

He didn't move. I dared not make a sound. Had he passed out, had he fallen asleep?

I took a tentative step back. I retrieved his jacket from the floor, my hands automatically bringing it over my mouth and nose, as if it would hide me. I waited, mesmerized by the beautiful man lying in front of me. He was asleep. The relief I felt was calming.

I smelt the cigarette smoke on his jacket. I looked to the left and saw the ensuite bathroom. I walked inside without turning on the light and hung his jacket on the back of the door.

When I looked back he was still in the same spot on the bed. His t-shirt had ridden up slightly, and the small glimpse of his pale silvery skin and the light dusting of hair above the black leather belt that secured his jeans was fucking unbelievable. My whole body ached to touch him. His skin, his jaw, his lips with mine. Here I was in Edward Cullen's room, and he had passed out on his bed.

I can't stay here. I crept quietly to the digital clock on the bedside table and checked that the alarm was switched on. It was already set for 5.30am.

I knew that he would have a massive hangover in the morning, so I retreated from the room and explored his suite to find the bar fridge.

His hotel room wasn't just a room, like mine. It was several rooms, more like an apartment. I found a living area complete with leather sofa and plasma TV. There was a kitchenette and a dining area. I found the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

I sneaked back to his room and into his bathroom, as I closed the door softly and stood in complete darkness until the door was firmly closed, then my hand felt along the wall for the light switch. Once my eyes adjusted I looked in the cabinet above the sink to find some headache pills. I saw some brightly coloured boxes, I had no idea what I was looking for; all the brand name medicines I used back at home were redundant here. My hand brushed over a box of condoms. My chest constricted. The thought of Edward fucking Rosalie Hale flashed in my mind. I felt sick.

I knew I was invading his personal space. I was invading his life. I had no right to be here. I had no claim on him. His lustful voice and inviting eyes were not for me; it was the alcohol talking. I needed to get out of here. It was only going to hurt more when he left. I needed to repress my feelings, or the weight would crush my heart.

I flicked off the light and opened the door. Edward had rolled to his side on the bed and curled his knees up. I left the bottle of water by the lamp on the bedside table. I fished out his wallet and his room swipe card from my pockets, placing them together next to the water. I walked to the wardrobe and pulled a blanket from the top shelf. I lay it over his body, and I ever so lightly touched the tip of his unruly hair.

"I love you." I breathed in a sultry sad whisper and I flicked off the light as I left the room.

~0~

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