Chapter 4
Olivia drove home, "So, you didn't want to stay with me?" Amanda's voice was small, "It's not that. I appreciate it. I don't want to disturb your home life. Captain Cragen mentioned you have a 3 month old." Olivia smiled, "You're not disturbing anything and yes I do. He's with his dad this week, we aren't together. You will get to meet him. I have a live-in nanny who watches him. His father and I live in the same building."
Amanda was listening carefully and she was wondering what kind of relationship was that. Olivia pulled into her space, "Go ahead, ask what you're thinking." They entered the elevator, "You're not together, but you live in the same building and have the same nanny." Olivia smiled, "I didn't have my father growing up and my mother wasn't really a mother. I want better for my son and his father is a good guy, just not my guy."
Amanda heard the ding and followed Olivia to her door. "Hey you two!" Amanda watched as Olivia left all of her struggles at the door and picked up Noah. In that moment it was like he was the only thing in her world. "Lucy, this is Amanda. Amanda, this is Lucy." Amanda shook her hand and couldn't believe she was so young. "I made lasagna and salad. I hope that's ok Amanda?" Amanda smiled, she wasn't much of an eater. "That's perfect."
Amanda walked over to the baby, "What's his name?" Olivia rocked him while feeding him, "Noah David Haden, meet Amanda Rollins." Olivia asked, "Do you want to hold him?" Amanda held up her hands, "No, babies don't like me." Olivia squinted at her and stood up, "Sit down! Now!" Amanda listened and sat. "Hold out your arms." Olivia placed Noah in her arms and Olivia carefully wrapped Amanda's hands and placed them to hold him securely. Noah made cooing noises and smiled. "He's beautiful!"
They heard a knock and Amanda jumped a little. Olivia saw it but didn't draw attention to it. "It's just his dad." Olivia answered the door. "Hey Liv. How was your first day back?" Olivia laughed, "Oh the normal. Still fighting bad guys." Olivia walked over to Amanda, "This Detective Amanda Rollins. She's from Atlanta, looking to transfer. Amanda, this is Noah's father, David Haden." David waved, "Nice to meet you."
Olivia laughed, "Amanda, if you stay, you won't see him unless we screw up big time. He's the Executive ADA." Amanda's eyes got big and Olivia just winked at her. David smiled and reached for Noah, "Hey buddy!" Olivia kissed Noah's fat cheeks. "See you in the morning." Amanda watched the exchange and thought they were grownups. "Come on, it's time for dinner." Amanda grabbed her, "It's that easy for you?" Olivia shrugged, "It wasn't at first, the first week he took him, I cried the entire time. It's a good thing I was still on leave. But it got easier and my son will know and bond with his dad. So I'm happy."
They sat down for dinner. Amanda looked at the full plate. Olivia ate and watched her, "If you want dessert, you need to eat." Amanda smiled and finished most of it. She was hoping dessert was a joke. "Thank you so much, can I wash this?" Olivia took it, "I've got it! It's your first so you get total guest treatment. Don't expect it tomorrow. Lucy, will you show Amanda where she's staying? I'm sure she wants a shower."
Amanda thought about her day. She started with a mild temperature. As she remembered every mistake, she turned the water up until it was as hot as she could stand and her skin was red. She changed and sat on the bed, wondering if she could do this for a week. Olivia knocked on her door. "Come in." Olivia stood at the door in baggy NYPD sweatpants and a tank top that showed her perfectly tanned lower stomach, shoulders, and chest. "Are you ok? I know today was a lot."
Amanda lost her voice so she shook her head. "Long sleeves? Amanda, it's only October. I hope you don't get hot. Do you want a T-shirt?" Amanda knew her skin was still red, "No thanks. I'm good." Amanda knew this was wrong, this was punishment in itself. She tried to stop, but she was falling for her and hard. "We need to leave around 8. I usually get up at 6 if I don't have Noah."
Amanda responded, "I will probably get up at 4 and go for a run." Olivia shook her head, "Umm no. I have a gym downstairs. Do not run outside in New York at 4 in the morning." Amanda shook her head, "Ok Sergeant." Olivia turned back, "I'm sorry about my tone today with the victim. I'm not the type you use or push my position. My friends call me Liv." She smiled and left, "Holy shit! We're friends."
Amanda was scared to sleep. Ever since that night in the squad room, the nightmares were the worst. Being asleep and having every moment happen again was awful, but she was tired and laid down. As she slipped into a deep sleep no nightmares came, instead it was Sergeant Olivia Benson. She knew she was dreaming but she couldn't wake up.
One moment Olivia was nice and sweet and flipped her brown to the side. In another she was chewing her ass out about screwing up a case. Her dream was weird. Amanda wanted punishment and when she saw Olivia take her badge off and slam it on the dresser she jumped. When she undid her belt and pulled it off she got excited, but she didn't hit her with it.
Olivia was holding her hand and guiding her to the shower. With every step she lost a piece of clothing. Her naked body was amazingly beautiful. She joined her under the shower and kissed her softly. Amanda moaned at her soft touch. Amanda only had it rough. Even when she lost her virginity in her sophomore year she picked a senior and he showed no mercy. That's when she learned to get off on pain.
She felt her hands on her shoulder, "Amanda, wake up." Amanda knew the dream was over and her eyes shot open, "Hey it's ok. It's just me. You were moaning. Amanda you're soaked and so are the sheets." Amanda sat up and saw a dressed Olivia. "I guess I got hot." Amanda was hot when she realized it was Olivia's real hands on her.
Olivia smiled, "I think you were really tired. It's 7:15. I let you sleep as long as I could, but I didn't know how much time you needed to get ready." Olivia got up at 4 worried Amanda would run outside, but she was completely out of it. Amanda was out of sorts, "I'm so sorry. It will only take me 15 minutes. I will wash your sheets." Olivia ran her soft hand across her face, "Hey, slow down. Look at me, it's ok. I'll extend the guest treatment."
Amanda grabbed her stuff and ran to the bathroom. Olivia didn't know what Amanda had been through, but Olivia knew victims and she knew the young detective was running from something in Atlanta. She grabbed the sheets because she didn't want her to freak out. She threw them in the washer and asked Lucy to wash that and her clothes then fix the bed back, but not mention it.
Amanda appeared dressed and ready. "We've got time. Come and eat breakfast." Amanda watched Olivia hold Noah and feed him. "I love my morning time with him." Amanda smiled, but she was shaken. Olivia figured this would pull her out, "Amanda, you did great yesterday. I can't wait to solve this case with you." Olivia finally saw it, a real smile.
