Chapter 8
When they got to work, they were swamped right away. Captain switched things up and sent Amanda and Fin together. He paired Olivia with Nick, hoping it would pull him along faster. Plus he knew Olivia and Amanda were together 24/7 and he didn't want anything to happen.
Olivia made it back before Amanda did, "Captain, a minute?" Olivia sat with him, "Full disclosure, but no sudden movements?" He shook his head and Olivia informed him of what she knew. She even mentioned the crush, but assured him nothing was going on. She didn't know what his reaction would be, so she braced for impact. "You're growing up kid. Sergeant looks good on you."
Olivia was confused, "In your younger days, you would never tell me this. As for the crush, I saw it in the interview, so you were a little slow on that." Olivia rolled her eyes. "Liv, what's your take?" Olivia explained she would help and they were making progress. She promised to keep an eye on her, "She's focused on the job."
Olivia went to her desk and made a call, "Dr. Hanover, do you have an opening?" Alexis Hanover was a psychologist who worked with SVU and the department. She had gone into her own business. She helped Olivia a while back when she was attacked. She saw Amanda and Fin walk in. "Great, I'll see you then." Olivia had to make a decision. Tell Amanda the truth or lie. If she lied she could lose everything with her when she found out. If she told the truth she could lose her now. "Amanda, can I speak to you?"
They headed to the cribs for privacy. Cragen saw it, but stepped back. Olivia closed the door. "I told Cragen." After those words Olivia watched Amanda turn pale. It was like Olivia punched her. "Amanda, he's not out to get you. He will have your back, just like me." Amanda's face changed and Olivia didn't see her fake smile or her fear, she saw rage. "I made an appointment with my psychologist and I wanted you to come with me.
Amanda laughed and it wasn't good. "Oh great! I'm not sick though. Huh Liv?" Olivia sighed, "You aren't. I…" Amanda walked away, "You know, I knew better. I don't know why I trusted you or told you anything." Olivia grabbed her shoulders, "I never lied to you. I even told you I may have to tell him. I'm looking you in the eyes and telling you the truth right now. I could have not told you anything and gone behind your back, but I didn't. I want to help you."
Amanda pulled away and left. Cragen saw her come in upset and mumbling. When she grabbed her jacket and started to walk out. "Rollins! My office." Olivia appeared to see Amanda going into the office and watched Cragen pull the blinds. Fin and Nick looked up, "Don't guys!" Cragen sat across from her and was giving her a moment. When she finally looked up, he moved beside her. "Are you done?"
Amanda shook her head, "Are you transferring me or firing me?" He answered quickly, "Neither." Amanda looked at him, "Didn't Liv tell you?" He shook his head, "She did and she also said you two were dealing with it. Up until that show you put on out there I believed it." Amanda closed her eyes, Olivia had her back. She just didn't listen.
"Amanda, I used to drink and when my wife died, I really drank. I even drank on the job. My captain could have let me go, but he gave me a chance to right my wrongs." He had Amanda's attention. "From what I heard, you're not doing anything wrong, although I need you to stay out of underground clubs."
He sighed, "I have known Reynolds for a long time. I'm not blind Amanda. You're young, too young to be a detective under a Captain like him, but you're good. I'm also not going to push you unless it shows on the job. I brought you here to keep you safe. I advise you to follow Liv's lead." Amanda stood up to leave, "Captain Cragen, Thank you."
Amanda left the office thinking she owed Olivia an apology. Fin looked at her, "Are you ok?" Amanda shook her head, "Yeah I had a moment." She saw Nick in the file room. "Fin, where's Liv?" Fin was typing, "She had an appointment. I'm taking you home." Amanda sat down, "I can get home myself." Fin laughed, "She said you'd say that. I think she left you a note." Amanda opened the folded paper.
"Amanda, I know you're upset with me. I knew it was a chance you would be, but I wasn't going to lie to you. I won't ever lie to you. I told you I would be here and help you, but in order to do that I need help first. I went to the doctor and I will see you at home."
Amanda saw a heart at the bottom and Liv on the inside. She felt like shit and sat down at her desk holding her head. Fin asked, "Is everything ok?" Amanda looked up, "Fin, I think I messed up." Fin shrugged, "Hey, it happens."
Olivia walked in and hugged Dr. Hanover. "Liv, it's good to see you. You look well and I want to see this baby boy." Olivia smiled and showed her pictures of Noah. She sat down, "Dr…" Alexis laughed, "Oh no, if you're Liv, I'm…" Olivia laughed, "Alexis, I'm good." She tilted her head, "I'm glad, because I couldn't tell from the phone call. What's going on with you?"
This was harder than she thought, maybe it was best she came alone. "It's actually not me. It's a friend. I tried to get her to come but she wouldn't." Alexis had to laugh, "I believe it. Weren't you dragged in here kicking and screaming?" Olivia shook her head remembering how stubborn she was. "Olivia, you know better than anyone. You can't force this. I sat with you for weeks and had you put on desk duty and you wouldn't budge."
Olivia shrugged, "I tell you what, explain and I will try to help but, it's gotta be you." Olivia explained and Alexis listened carefully and took notes. "I told her she wasn't sick, but is she?" Alexis put the paper and pen down, "Olivia I worked with SVU so long I started doing other training. She's not sick, it's just not behavior you would be drawn to. Lots of people experiment with BDSM, but it doesn't sound like she's that far. I see couples all the time that practice domestic discipline. Sometimes people need to give up control, to take the stress off of themselves they let their partner handle it. They try to do the right things, but when they mess up they're punished."
Olivia was quiet, "Punished like hit or beat? Because she mentioned she needed pain." Alexis shook her head, "Sometimes, but not all of the time. Sometimes when they are in a stable relationship, it doesn't have to lead to bruises and marks, but sometimes they do need it. The question is, what has pushed your friend to need it? People who participate aren't sick, but unfortunately they all have a reason. And until she tells you that reason, your mind will try to figure it out." Alexis watched her reaction, "The other thing is normally it's not friends, it's lovers. Are two involved?"
Tears fell down Olivia's face, Amanda was in so much pain, that she wanted people to hurt her. Olivia shook her head no, "We aren't together, there is a crush. I said I would help her. Are you telling me she's going to ask me to beat her?" Alexis tried to help, "I don't know, but whether she does or not. She's going to find a way. You're an amazing person and friend, but no matter how much you care it's not going to stop her, because you aren't the problem. She isn't going to stop needing it just because you're being nice."
Olivia held her hands up, "What do I do?" Alexis had an idea, "Were you disciplined as a child?" Olivia searched her mind, "Of course my mom was drunk. I just never deserved most of it." Alexis thought, "Let's try this, role play. You said you're older, use it. Get tough and lay down some rules." Olivia laughed, "She's not a kid, you want me to take her keys away?" Alexis shook her head and frowned, "Don't do that or this isn't going to work."
Olivia held her head. "It's a test, Liv. You lay down the law and tell her how this is going to go, you follow through, you watch, and report back to me. You're a cop, you can't be tough?" Olivia could be tough but she was worried, "She's not a kid, if I piss her off, she'll walk. She threatened an apartment, at least I can watch her." Alexis smiled, "If I'm right and you do what I say, I doubt she will leave. She's looking for something by doing all of this." They talked some and Olivia made a standing appointment once a week.
