Chapter 9
Amanda walked in the door and it was quiet. She walked and saw Lucy's door open. "Hey Luce! Noah's gone already?" Lucy said yeah. "Is Liv home?" Amanda was worried. Lucy looked up, "Not yet. Amanda, can we talk?" Amanda noticed how serious Lucy was and it reminded her of Kim. She missed her sister and she never blamed her for the drugs. It fell on her parents. "Sure, is something wrong?"
They didn't hear Olivia come in and it was so quiet she heard them as soon as she hit the hallway. "Amanda, how do know you're ready for sex?" Olivia waited to see how Amanda handled it. Amanda looked at Lucy, she was just a scared kid. "Well, normally if you have to ask about being ready, you probably aren't. Lucy you're 18, there's no rush."
Lucy sighed and hit the bed, "I'm like the last one in my group of friends and Dominick is older. What if he doesn't want to be with me?" Amanda calmed her, "Lucy, you've been on one date. What else is going on?" Lucy smiled, "I've liked him a long time. He went to my high school." Amanda smiled, "Ohhhhh a crush. Hey listen, I know a thing about crushes, but don't rush anything. And if he's that important, talk to him. Communication in relationships is the key."
Olivia wondered why Amanda couldn't take her own advice. She was so good. Amanda made sure she was ok and started to get up and Olivia almost moved, "Wait Amanda! Olivia is always asking about birth control. What does she mean, condoms or the pill?" Amanda sat back down, "I think she means both. Just because you're on the pill, you still should use condoms." Lucy's face was blank. "I don't want to tell her. I don't want her to be disappointed in me."
Amanda hugged her, "Ohh Luce. Liv will not be disappointed in you. That's why she keeps asking. She only wants to protect you. I wish I had her protection. I lost my virginity way too early. It's special Lucy and once it's gone, it's gone. So make sure the guy is as special as you."
Lucy smiled and hugged her, "Thanks Amanda! Do you have a younger sister, because you're really good at this?" Amanda smiled, "I did, her name was Kim, but she passed away." Olivia heard another piece and Lucy frowned, "I'm sorry Amanda. You must miss her, but Liv is like my mom. Maybe I could be your little sister." Amanda rubbed her back, "It would be my honor." Amanda went to leave, "Ummm but part of sister rules, don't tell mom." Amanda rolled her eyes.
Olivia backed down the hall and read her mail. She repeated "Be tough" in her head. Amanda walked to the family room, "Oh you're home." Olivia looked up, "Yep! Enjoying that sister role. You two keep secrets now?" Amanda swallowed hard, "You heard all that?" Olivia laughed, "Yep! What do you want for dinner, because after dinner, you and I are going to have a very long talk."
Lucy made her way in when she heard voices, "Hey Liv!" Olivia changed tones, "Hey sweet girl." Olivia put the mail down, "Ok! Dinner?" Amanda was dead silent, Olivia had her attention. Lucy said, how about the diner around the corner. It even has all day breakfast." Olivia grabbed her coat, "Let's go!" They walked because it wasn't far. Olivia even saw and held Noah in the hall. Olivia agreed to bring David something back.
When they sat down and looked, Olivia said, "What will it be?" Lucy was first, "Easy, I want the Red, White, and Blue French Toast!" She looked at Amanda, "It's my favorite and you can taste it." Olivia giggled forgetting she was in tough mode. "I'll take the Chicken Salad triple decker sandwich for now. I also need one to go with an order of loaded cheese fries." The waitress looked at Amanda, "I'll take a burger and fries."
The waitress left and Lucy went to the jukebox leaving Olivia and Amanda sitting quietly. "Liv?" Olivia sipped her soda and thought maybe Alexis was right, "Yeah?" Amanda was scared, "I'm sorry about today." Olivia put her drink down, "Ok. We'll talk about it later." Lucy came back and sat bobbing her head.
The food came and Amanda looked at Lucy's plate. "It looks cool right?" It was French toast with strawberries, bananas, and blueberries. Hence red, white, and blue. It already had powdered sugar and Amanda watched as she covered it with syrup. "Lucy, no thanks." Lucy hit her arm hard, "Hey, don't knock it until you try it!" Olivia thought the only one missing was Noah, because she was at a table with kids. "You two knock it off and eat. All of your food!" Lucy looked right at Amanda and laughed, "She's talking to you, because I eat."
Amanda tried the French toast. "Go ahead, I'll take my apology." Amanda rolled her eyes, "Sorry Luce, it does taste good." They finished and grabbed David's food, then headed back. Olivia said, "I'm taking David his food and I'll be back. Lucy went in and Olivia grabbed Amanda's arm, "Shower, wait in your room, and I will call for you." Amanda shook her head, "Yes Liv."
Olivia smiled while she walked away, but didn't get too excited." Amanda showered and thought about the trouble she was in. Olivia had a different effect on her and she didn't know why. Olivia appeared at her door already in pjs. She didn't even hear her come back. "My room right now!" Olivia stood in front of her, "I don't like or appreciate your behavior in that squad room. That was unprofessional and unnecessary for you to draw all that attention to us. I won't deal with this."
Amanda answered, "Ok." Olivia shook her head, "Nope, not ok. When it's me and you like this, I'll take yes ma'am." Amanda answered quickly, "Yes ma'am." Olivia requested the key she gave her and Amanda went to get it. Amanda thought she was being kicked out. This is what happened and why she didn't build relationships. "Here you go."
Olivia threw it in her nightstand. "You'll get it back when I decide. You will go to work and come home. You will not leave this house, without my permission. This is your punishment and if you pull a stunt again like you did today, you won't need to look for someone to hit you, because I will personally tear your ass up. Are we clear?" Amanda had never been spoken to like that. "Yes ma'am."
Olivia quickly said, "Go to your room and think. I will be coming to check." Amanda left quickly. Olivia shut her door, "Holy shit!" She called Alexis because that was what they talked about. "Alexis, I'm sorry it's late. We had dinner and I just finished dealing with Amanda. I think I took it too far." They didn't exactly talk about the tearing ass up part. "You went cop tough."
Olivia explained, "I don't know what happened, she was so different. You were right, it was like I had control and she wanted me to. She wanted me to discipline her for what she did. I'm worried she's going to try me. What if she wants me to beat her?" Alexis said they would cross that bridge when we came to it and not to show worry.
Olivia went to check on everyone. She went to Lucy first and she was asleep. She knocked on Amanda's door, "Come in." Amanda looked up and she had been crying. "I'm really sorry." Olivia didn't need Alexis to tell her this part. She hugged her, "It's ok I forgive you, but don't do it again and you're still on punishment. Crying doesn't work with me."
Amanda asked, "Did the doctor tell you what to do?" Olivia didn't lie, "We did talk, but I got the hang of it pretty quickly huh?" Amanda shook her head. "Can we do that thing where you tell me something bad and I tell you something bad?"
Olivia agreed and went first, "Sure. I went undercover in a prison. We were looking for a corrections officer who raped a teenage girl and killed her mother in prison. I was an inmate and Fin was a guard. They knocked me around pretty good. I even ended up with stitches. See."
Olivia showed her the scar just above her elbow. "One guard named Lowell Harris dragged me to the basement. He attacked me and I ran. He hit me across the face and tried to rape me, but I got away. He eventually caught me and I had nowhere to go. He unzipped his pants and tried to force his penis in my mouth. He was an inch away and Fin saved me. I ended up with PTSD and that's how I met my doctor. We caught him, but it was rough on me." Amanda was slowly realizing that everyone goes through something.
Amanda looked up, "My turn?" Olivia shook her head. "Remember when I told you it was my fault my daddy shot my mom?" Olivia said, "Yeah." She wanted to scream that it couldn't have been her fault, but not yet. "I was 15 and I skipped school that day. I don't even remember why. I did stuff like that, can you believe I was a troublemaker?
They both laughed a little and she continued, but was so serious. I went home and found my mother and her co-host screwing. They didn't stop even though they saw me. I went to my room. She was a news anchor so I knew him. His name was Deacon. He's dead now, he screwed someone else's wife and that was the last time. I never liked him anyway. They finished and he showed up at my door. I didn't even recognize that I was in trouble. Looking back I was dumb. He had his shirt off and his pants were open."
Olivia rubbed her back, "Amanda you were 15, you can't look back as a detective. It's not your fault." Amanda shrugged, "He asked if I should be in school and I was pissed. He wasn't my parent. I cursed at him and said he shouldn't be fucking my mom."
Olivia had an idea what came next. "He grabbed my chin and squeezed it tight. He used his other hand and undid my pants. He put his fingers in me. It hurt so bad, but not as bad as seeing my mother come to the door and watch." Olivia was glad she wasn't alive or she would kill her. Her mom was a drunk, but she would have never done that. "My body reacted and he wiped it all over me and told my mom I was a slut. Do you know what she said when I asked why she let him do that?"
Olivia held her, "What baby?" Amanda hung her head, "It's not like he raped you. It was your punishment." Olivia knew why her dad shot her mother and she also knew where this all started. "I messed up and told my daddy. I didn't know he would kill her and himself." Amanda cried, "I didn't know Liv! It's all my fault. My sister and I were thrown into foster care. She's dead because of drug use. I'm sorry!"
Olivia held her while she cried, "Amanda, that's tough, but you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry your mother didn't protect you. Look at me." Amanda looked into eyes, "I know it's hard, but none of it is your fault. You are the victim." Olivia held her until she fell asleep. She put her to bed. She knew that was exhausting.
