Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Lyrics reproduced without permission from 'Draw Your Swords' © 2010 Angus Stone and Julia Stone.
A/N: The link to the song is on my profile page or cut and paste this tumblr. com (/) xdm1flr8qq into your browser (delete the spaces and brackets)
~0~
~~Bella~~
"I'm going to watch the end of the game," Emmett stated, placing his empty Heineken bottle on the kitchen bench. "Ed, I'll be up early, going for a run before we head to the set. You up for it?"
I watched as Edward shook his head slightly.
"You know I can't keep up with you. Knock yourself out, wake me when you get back."
"OK, but you know I'm going to push you so much harder at the gym this week! Goodnight Bella. Thanks again for a delicious dinner. You know, a guy could really get used to that," he chuckled and turned to head to the bedroom.
"Goodnight Emmett," I said, then my eyes turned back to Edward. He was staring at me again. It made my heart skip.
"Are you going to keep writing?" he asked me.
Edward had kept his distance since I got back from my short trip to Port Alberni. I'd busied myself with making dinner, sipping my wine and listening to Emmett's stories of crazy fan encounters and the places he'd visited with Edward for filming.
"No, it's a bit late, I'd better get some sleep," I replied. I knew I was blushing. I felt anxious being alone with him.
Why did everything have to change? Why couldn't it be like it was between us, when we were friends that could just sit and chat for hours in the bar, without feeling so awkward? Did he feel awkward too, or was it just me?
It's me, knowing he's in a relationship with Rosalie. He hasn't changed, I have.
"Please, Bella, can we just hang out together for a while? I meant what I said. I missed being able to talk to you." Edward looked around the room then got up when he spotted his guitar case by the door. "I thought I'd wind down, play my guitar, if that's alright?"
There was a massive lump in my throat as I watched Edward unclip the case that housed his acoustic guitar. Oh God, yes; to hear him play, to hear him sing. My body shuddered in anticipation.
"I've learnt a new song." He started strumming his guitar then stopped and adjusted the little turny thingies on the top to tighten, or loosen the guitar strings. Watching his fingers and then his face furrowed in concentration made me feel light-headed.
I can't sit here while he plays the guitar, just me, no one else. Shit.
I quickly stood up and walked into the kitchen.
More wine. No, tea? No, just say goodnight and go to bed. Oh God.
"Is everything OK?"
I turned to see Edward staring at me. He was standing on the other side of the kitchen bench, holding his guitar by its neck; he looked concerned, he looked disappointed.
"I...um...did you want a glass of wine, or maybe a cup of tea?" I asked, turning away from his intense gaze and opening the cupboard to pull out the box of tea bags.
"No thanks," he sighed.
I was about to flick on the electric kettle to boil the water when I decided I didn't actually want tea. There was still some wine left in the bottle. I looked at the pile of dirty dishes and glasses from dinner then I busied myself retrieving the bottle from the fridge and letting the remainder of golden liquid fill my glass.
I looked up. Edward was still staring at me and I felt myself go red. I quickly looked away.
"Um, you can play, please. I want you...to." I couldn't look at him, but his image was burned into my brain. He was too beautiful in his dark blue plaid shirt and blue jeans, his hair still messy from his swim, his pouty lips.
"OK," he said.
I didn't acknowledge him but I was keenly aware that he'd gone to sit down and I heard him tuning the guitar again. He started to strum some chords, and hum in his sexy velvet voice, and I could feel myself losing it.
I filled the sink with warm water, squirted in the dish washing liquid. The sight of which started a train of very inappropriate thoughts about suds, moisture, Edward, his body and how he felt and how he looked all wet and shiny in the lake this afternoon.
I carefully hand washed each glass, washed each piece of crockery and cutlery, slowly; letting Edward's voice and the soft strumming of his guitar sweep over me. I listened but I dared not look. How could I look at the musical God that was sitting across the room from me? His voice was sensual, hypnotic.
I emptied the water and dried my prunish hands on the tea towel, picked up my glass and sipped. He stopped playing.
"Bella?"
I slowly looked over to him. He was sitting on the armchair across from the sofa that he'd slept on last night. His eyes were dark, his face in shadow, the soft glow of the floor lamp muting the light around him, yet illuminating the ceiling in a beam of diffused warm vibrancy.
"Yes?" I replied, knowing I should say goodnight, go directly into the bedroom and never come out.
"Can I ask you something?" he said, his voice low.
"Sure." I said, without making a move.
"Will you sit and listen to this song, please?" the timbre of his voice was pleading, hopeful. "Before you, go to bed?"
Hear him play one song, then go to bed. I can do that.
I tipped the glass to my lips, drained it and placed it on the sink.
I slowly made my way over to the sofa. Picking up the throw cushion I sat crossed-legged and placed the cushion in my lap. I was opposite Edward and from this angle I could see his face. He looked relieved.
"This song is on the play-list you made for me. I hope I can do it justice, it's, well, I love it. It really made me think of you. It makes me think of us, Bella."
He was staring at me again and my whole body felt a chill run through it. I averted my gaze and focused on the chiffon curtain that billowed in a fluttering wave as the breeze blew in.
Edward started strumming. I listened intently then and like a magnet, my eyes traveled to his hands, the way he held the guitar, his long fingers expertly reaching, pressing, sliding over the strings.
I sat in shock as the chords he was strumming flew around my head in a daze. No, no. Yes. I recognized the familiar sweet sound of the song. My heart sunk with each chord.
I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath. It sounded slightly different without the piano, but it was unmistakable.
Draw Your Swords.
I opened my eyes and looked at his face. His mouth was slightly open, his lips wet, his stare was intense. It was a look I'd seen before, in those watermarked pap photos Eric showed me, when Edward was filming a scene, about to kiss Rosalie.
He said the song reminded him of me, of us?
As he sang the first verse my stomach dipped.
"See her come down, through the clouds
I feel like a fool"
"I aint got nothing left to give
Nothing to lose"
His voice was raw emotion; a heartfelt harmony of longing. I was hypnotized by his gaze as he held mine and sang. He didn't even look at his guitar; his eyes were locked on me. I could feel the blush radiating up my neck; the shiver of goose bumps tingled with each word he sang.
"So come on Love, draw your swords
Shoot me to the ground"
"You are mine, I am yours
Lets not fuck around"
I swallowed, my head light, my heart pumping, blood racing through my veins. This is a love song, he's singing it to me, no, not just singing it, he's serenading.
"Cause you are, the only one"
"Cause you are, the only one"
Every muscle in my body tensed, and my mind tried to snap me out of my daze, to get me off that sofa and away from the hypnotic sensuality of Edward Cullen. But I was frozen, my body wouldn't move.
He's not singing this to me, it's for her. It's for her, not me.
My breaths were increasing in a violent panic of anxiousness because Edward was singing this song to me. His eyes were full of love and devotion and he was looking at me!
"I see them snakes come through the ground
They choke me to the bone"
"They tie me to their wooden chair
Hear all my songs"
I waited for him to close his eyes, for him to be visualizing Rosalie Hale, instead of staring at me with the love I so desperately wanted. He didn't close his eyes; they never left mine.
"So come on Love, draw your swords
Shoot me to the ground"
"You are mine, I am yours
Lets not fuck around"
His voice was gravelly and husky, strained and intense; his eyes were glistening as he sang. Then his voice was firm and resolute, it shocked me with a feeling of truth; infinite truth.
My heart was breaking; I could feel the burning sting of tears clouding my vision in a haze of wet heat.
This is what I feel for him, my love, he's singing about my love for him.
He is everything to me. My tears spilled down my cheeks in hot streams. Edward watched me, he looked conflicted, but he kept strumming, he kept singing a sensual serenade that was slowly crushing my heart.
"Cause you are, the only one"
I can't endure this.
I pushed the pillow off my legs and stood briskly. I turned my back on Edward, wiping the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand, and started walking to the kitchen.
~0~
~~Edward~~
"Cause you are, the only one"
I watched in horror as Bella stood up abruptly, a sad look of hopelessness on her tear stained cheeks as she turned and walked away from me.
I stopped playing instantly.
"Bella!" I croaked, placing my guitar on the sofa and hurrying to follow her.
She walked into the kitchen, swiping urgently at her face, as if she could hide the evidence of her tears.
"Bella, please, I need to talk to you." I was determined. I couldn't let her brush me off. I had to let her know. I'd wanted to communicate my love for her through the song, but her tears had thrown me.
Did the song remind her of her ex? Fuck, I'm an idiot!
She had her wine glass in hand; I watched as she filled it up with water directly from the faucet and gulped some down.
I waited.
She eventually looked at me then her whole demeanor shifted. Her eyes went blank.
"I'm sorry," she said calmly. "I don't know what came over me. You are..." she dipped her head; her hair fell around her face.
"I'm so tired, I'm going to bed," she stated and walked around the bench towards the hall.
No, no, don't run from me again. I have to tell her. This is my last chance to tell her.
My hand reached out to grab hers as she walked by me. She froze. She wouldn't look at me.
I twisted my hand, digging my fingers in between hers, so it was harder for her to pull away. She looked up at me. I knew she could feel the connection, I could feel it, radiating in a soft pulse through her fingers and into me.
"I need you...to listen to what I have to say." I slowly raised both our hands, my palm pushing into hers, our fingers locked together. Her hand was so small in my grasp, so delicate. My left hand lightly touched her waist.
"I went insane Bella, trying to contact you. I wanted to tell you, I want you to know that what you saw at the hotel was not what you assumed it to be. I meant what I said when we first met. I'm not in a sexual relationship. I haven't been in one for two years." I took in a deep breath; my body was on fire for her. "Bella, I want you. I want to be with you, more than anything in my life. You need to know, that it's you. You're my friend, I want...more, I want to..."
Just show her!
I unlocked our hands and I very slowly combed my splayed fingers into her soft hair. Her hand held my forearm as I pulled her by the waist, closer to me. She was dazed.
I was gauging her reaction to my touch. Her face was crimson; her teeth were digging into her bottom lip. I felt her body shiver, even though the room was warm. But all those reactions were secondary; her deep brown eyes showed me everything. The blank look had gone. Her eyes were now like a window into her mind and her heart. They were reflecting back what I felt.
Bella is in love with me.
Her love flowed out of her, the love was a tingling, magnetic pulse, and I was absorbing it through her skin, her hair, and her gaze.
I wanted to show her my love.
This will be our first kiss.
I inhaled then my lips descended; the anticipation of kissing her was overwhelming.
Once my lips met hers I was content. So warm, soft, delicate. Slowly, sensually, I pressed my lips to hers again, desperate to feel more of her. My hand lowered from in her hair to run over her neck, lingered across her shoulder and eventually around her waist.
I opened my mouth and moved my lips against hers again. She was breathing heavily, her hands slid up my chest, and as soon as I felt her warm hands on the nape of my neck, I lost my feigned control.
I tried to be gentle, but my testosterone-fuelled body was overcome by lust, relief and love.
Bella is kissing me back!
Her sweet mouth held the taste of wine, her tongue was slowly caressing mine, exploring, sharing my breath.
Her hands started fingering my hair, pulling me into her; my tongue became more demanding when she pushed her whole body against me.
But still, I needed more contact with her.
I need her; I want her in the bedroom. Yes!
My lips pushed even more forcefully into hers, my tongue probing her mouth in desperation, in hunger. My hands slid down from her waist to touch her firm, beautiful butt. Bella's lips pulled back as she caught her breath, she gasped as my hands gripped her slim bare thighs.
I lifted her, easily. She wrapped her legs around me; one of my hands on the small of her back, the other under her butt. Her soft body molded to mine perfectly. Our kisses were passionate, her hands combing through my hair sensuously. I was so damn hard, and as I started walking I stumbled as I felt the exquisite heat between her legs. Her dress had ridden up, her hot center connected to me. I pulled her into my body almost too tightly.
"I love you," I whispered. I kissed under her ear as I made my way to the bedroom. Bella was sucking on my neck, running soft kisses over my jaw; it was driving me crazy with desire. Her floral perfume swirled around me, making me dizzy, or was it the pulsing heat and the feel of her finally in my arms?
I took in the room briefly as I awkwardly tried to close the door without making a sound. The curtains were still open and the moonlight illuminated the room. I turned and sat on the high bed, Bella's legs still straddling me, pulling her body weight onto my lap, trying to pull her onto my throbbing erection. She pulled her legs down, her shins flat on the bed; she squeezed her thighs against my waist. I kissed her neck, then my hands slowly traveled up into her hair, to guide her face back to my lips.
I wanted this position, with her astride me; our faces in line, her forehead to my forehead, her nose to my nose, her lips to my lips. I wasn't leaning over her. I wasn't dominating her; we were equals. We were connected.
This is how it's supposed to be. We were in this quaint, rustic room with the window open, the cool night air blowing in; fresh air not hotel climate-controlled. The place was real; just like the beautiful woman in my arms that was kissing me. I let all the sensations wash over me. I'm here; she's kissing me. I felt relieved that our first kiss, our first caress was not in the hotel but here in this place of natural beauty, like Bella, not ordered designer conformity. My Bella is in my arms and I knew I was never going to let her go.
I couldn't stop myself; I pulled away from mauling her mouth and slid my wet lips down her neck to her shoulder; kissing, licking. She was panting, breathless, writhing against me, and I thought I would fucking lose it, because I wanted her, but we still hadn't really talked and I knew everything was going too fast.
God, but I didn't want to stop. I felt her delicious weight, the button fly of my jeans chafing, as she pushed her body onto me. It was a euphoric pain.
"Bella," I sighed as my fingers slipped under the thin strap of her dress. I pulled it down to reveal the curve of the top of her creamy breast. She was wearing a strapless bra, her chest rising and falling with each breath, her lips on my neck as I stared at her.
I curled my fingers over the fabric, inching it down to see more of her; my cool fingers grazing her warm skin. She shivered and sighed, but her lips never left my jaw and she licked and kissed me repeatedly. I watched as her chest, the swell of her breast broke out in tiny goose bumps.
Holy hell, I have to have her.
I pulled the cup of her bra further down.
Fuck!
There was her perfectly rounded pink nipple, begging to be kissed. I pulled back and lowered my head to plant soft open-mouthed wet kisses against the top of her breast. She whimpered and squeezed her thighs harder around my waist. Then I inched lower, slowly licking her nipple before placing my mouth over it, softly suckling.
Bella's hands were in my hair, her chest rising and falling. She had pulled back as I did this to her, I could feel her eyes on me. Her skin had no taste; it was just Bella, the texture of her on my tongue, my wet flesh suckling her. I swirled my tongue around and around until she moaned my name.
"Ed-ward..."
She said it in the same tone she had last night, when she was dreaming of me.
I wanted this bliss to last, but I also wanted her naked. I was well aware that there were too many layers of fabric separating us – her panties, her dress and this incredibly sexy bra. I knew I'd have to break the connection with her to get my jeans off; the pain from the tight fabric was staving off my pleasure.
This was happening too fast. My brain was jumping ahead, imagining her underneath me as I slowly made love to her. But it wouldn't be slow would it, because I just knew I'd be so maniacal, naked with Bella, I would completely lose it.
I should let her take the lead. I don't want her to regret us moving so quickly.
My tongue kept swirling around her taunt flesh. Bella's sighs were reverberating through my body. She wants me too. She wants this!
I pulled away from her nipple, letting the bra cup fall back in place; trying to calm myself, trying to absorb all the feelings and sensations of being so close to her. It feels so right.
My hands swept around to her shoulder blades, my fingers slipped into her dress to fumble and slowly unhook her bra.
"Edward," she panted.
I hesitated for a moment, torn. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to stop. I was so blissfully relieved when her lips went back to my neck.
I slowly ran my hands down her side then to her chest. I dipped my fingers into her cleavage, grasped her bra, and very slowly peeled it up and pulled it out from under her dress. I tossed it on the floor, my hands running over the soft cotton to cup her breasts. Bella clutched and squeezed my shoulders then let out a soft whimpering moan that made me automatically thrust against her.
"Bella," I grunted. Her breasts felt so soft; they almost immediately firmed up under my touch, the blood rushing to them, the goose bumps now more prominent, her nipples hard under the soft fabric.
I was in a daze of lust.
"You're so beautiful," I said, swallowing. My voice sounded guttural.
Bella went back to kissing my neck, my jaw and under my ear, her body rocking into me and her hands caressing my neck and shoulders. I grabbed her hips and pulled her firmly into me. My hands traveled down onto her thighs, I couldn't help myself. Her soft skin called to me. My hands glided all over her silky smooth skin; my fingers wanted to touch her, feel her heat.
"I want to touch you Bella. I want to kiss every inch of your body," I whispered.
"Edward," a wanton groan escaped her lips. She pulled back to look at me; her eyes in line with mine. We stared at each other.
I dared not break eye contact with her as my fingers grazed the apex of her smooth thighs, my thumbs gently brushing against the leg seams of her cotton underwear.
"You're exquisite, Bella."
I was overwhelmed by the zinging, buzzing sensation between us.
"Tell me you feel it too." I practically moaned.
She was silent; the only sound was our labored breaths.
"I love you," I said. I needed her to know. I needed her to feel my love.
Her eyes glistened. She widened her legs and shuffled back a little. It was a silent but unmistakable invitation for me to touch her.
"You don't have to say that," she whispered.
"I do love you Bella, why–"
"Stop, Edward. Don't speak!" She pressed her fingers to my lips. "You don't have to pretend. I want this; I want to be with you."
I pulled my lips away from her fingers. "I'm not–pretending? I'm in love wi–"
"Don't speak, just touch me," she pleaded.
She dragged her fingers to my collarbone and undid a button on my shirt, then the second button, she kissed me, slowly. My eyes never left her as I slipped my thumbs under the soft elastic. Her skin, was moist from sweat, smooth, hairless.
Fuck!
She doesn't want me to talk. We should be talking. If she won't let me speak, I'll have to show her how much I want her; how much I love her.
~0~
A/N: Thanks for reading!
Thank you to my beta CandyTwi and to lisamichelle17 (you know why). Also to ObviouslyObsessed that inspired the serenade scene over six months ago!
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