Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
~0~
~~Edward~~
I stood on the porch holding Bella's hand as Emmett's car disappeared down the drive. I was nervous and overwhelmed. I knew we had to talk, but when her skin was touching mine, all I could do was think about her cumming, the way her body reacted to my fingers and tongue, and how I wanted her. Even now, just holding her hand, I was aroused and dazed, lust clouded my head, my body just wanted to take her in the bedroom to strip her, kiss her.
I knew I couldn't. I knew I had to stop touching her and talk. She told me she loved me, but she hadn't said she believed me about Rosalie. I had to tell her about the photographs before we got back to Vancouver. I knew the photos looked like the real thing – even my mom had questioned me. My brief calls to her and Alice and a text to Ben had cleared up the misunderstanding. Convincing Bella would be an entirely different thing. I had to make her believe me. I also really needed to find out about her ex-boyfriend, and I had to spell out to her what it would mean for us to be in a relationship. I had to do all of this, without a single finger touching her. I sure as hell wouldn't be coherent enough to make her believe me and understand what I truly wanted if any part of my body touched hers.
I dropped Bella's hand and stepped back from her. She looked confused but expectant.
"We need to talk, really talk, about everything," I stated firmly.
I watched as she bit into her bottom lip. She couldn't hide the tell tale blush that seemed to instantly flush her cheeks a delicious rose color. It took too much effort not to reach out and glide the backs of my fingers over the heat.
"Let's talk down by the lake," I suggested. If I have her outside, it will be easier to keep my hands off her.
"I think I need a cup of tea," she said, looking nervous. "Would you like one?"
Before I could answer, Bella walked purposefully inside and straight to the kitchen. Her compulsive behavior gave away her reluctance to hear me out.
I walked to the kitchen bench to watch her make the tea.
She was so different from the girl that only two weeks ago had sat next to me in the VIP bar. She had initially been a little shy, but after our nightly meetings and lunch on the weekend, she had opened up to me so much. I thought I knew her, really knew her, but this Bella, the Bella that ran and hid from me when she thought I was with Rosalie, was not the same confident girl; the girl that had risked being caught by the paparazzi to take me to play a secret gig on a real stage.
I motioned for her to sit in the dining chair while I sat opposite. She looked so nervous and very self-conscious. I wanted to hold her, comfort her.
I had to keep my distance. I couldn't allow myself the luxury of touching, knowing what my aroused body would want to do next. I can't, she's not using a contraceptive and I don't have any condoms.
She sipped her tea, looking at her mug and not at me. OK, here goes.
"I know what you're thinking," I said in a calm soft voice. "I'm not with Rosalie. She was talking about something completely different when she walked into my suite. I didn't know that you'd interpreted her words incorrectly until I saw your face when you stepped into the elevator. By the time I'd gotten rid of Rosalie, you'd already left the hotel; you didn't answer your phone or respond to my letter by calling me." I recalled the stress I'd been through that night.
"I was frantic, Bella. I didn't want you to think what you thought, because it's simply not true. If Rosalie hadn't interrupted us, I would have told you what you mean to me, and I was going to ask that you be with me, in a relationship. Our friendship won't change, it will get stronger; we'll be stronger together." I stared into her eyes and waited until she looked into mine before I spoke the next three words.
"I love you."
Her eyes filled with tears. When she blinked the tears trickled down her face. I wanted to walk to her, hold her.
First, I need to tell her about the photos.
~0~
~~Bella~~
His declaration made my heart race. I couldn't stop the tears. I felt completely unworthy of his love, and at the same time wholeheartedly determined to earn it. I wanted to give him the love, support, and devotion that I knew he deserved.
He didn't move to touch me across the table, even though I prayed silently that he would.
"I have to tell you there are some pictures of Rosalie and I," he went on. "They've just published. I haven't seen them, but I know they look extremely suggestive. I can tell you this Bella; they're not what they look like, the whole thing was a set up by Rosalie. She has a devious manager who has no ethics when it comes to exploiting her for money."
I thought back to the watermarked images Eric had shown me. Yes, they were suggestive. They implied that Edward and Rosalie had been doing something in his trailer, something intimate and, from the look on her face, extremely satisfying.
He's not with her, he wants me?
I felt overwhelmed as I thought about the torturous anguish I'd been putting myself through. I had been actively talking myself out of being with him, emotionally at least. The physical desire was still there, and it was burning me. He was too far away and I needed to feel him.
With trembling hands I placed my mug of tea on the table. I stood up and walked to him. He looked panicked.
"I believe you," I said softly.
He instantly stood. His large hands wrapped around my wrists as I tried to glide them around his neck.
"Bella, if we start kissing, I won't be able to stop–we shouldn't."
I stared at him; I couldn't help but feel rejected.
"Why shouldn't we?" My voice was barely a whisper. Tears continued to fall.
"Bella, we need to talk, I can't concentrate when you're touching me." He said calmly, and then eased his restraining grip on my wrists.
My vision blurred and my head hurt. I closed my eyes, another flashback shot through my minds eye. Riley holding my wrists, telling me we shouldn't sleep together.
I took in a slow deep breath. These visions are telling me something. Maybe my psycho mind is warning me not to repeat my mistakes?
"OK," I said. He let go of my wrists and I stepped back.
I knew I shouldn't do what I had done with Riley; I shouldn't throw my body at Edward. I didn't want to be the temptation. If Edward loves me like he says he does, then our relationship will evolve easily and when we're both ready. What if that niggling feeling was there to warn me to slow down, to let Edward take the lead?
He led me to the sofa and sat me down.
"You believe me, about Rosalie? I need to know that when you see the photos you'll know they are all a set up, and you won't doubt how I feel about you."
Edward didn't need to know I'd already seen the pictures. I didn't want to have to explain why Eric was showing me, it would be too weird. I thought back to Angela, how completely insistent she'd been that Edward would never want Rosalie. I had never even seen her with him in the hotel, except that one night. I had to believe he was telling the truth, not because that's what I wanted, but because it was fact. He's not a liar, like Riley. Edward does love me. He wants me.
"Yes, I believe you." I leaned towards him, my eyes on his lips. I need to kiss him.
He let me, but it was a chaste kiss and he pulled away quickly.
"We don't have to rush into anything, OK?" he said, pulling me close to rest my head on his chest.
I sensed he wasn't going to let me get any closer to him and I wanted to know why. We didn't speak. I thought about his words. He'd said Rosalie was talking about something else when she walked into his suite. I knew he had his 'rule', about not getting involved intimately with people he works with. The copyright hasn't been signed. Does he think I'll back out? If something goes wrong between us, if we don't work out, does he think that I won't let him use the lyrics?
"This is about the song, isn't it?" I asked. "You don't want to make love to me until the song is signed and on the soundtrack, officially. You want to wait until we're not working together anymore?"
He didn't answer right away. I was starting to believe his silence was his agreement.
"This is not about the song," he stated. "This is about wanting us to communicate what we're both feeling. I'm not going to put you through dealing with the bullshit in my life if you're not ready." He pulled me closer to his chest.
"If you're not ready, they'll easily force us apart," he went on. "The media will write hateful things about you, they'll hound you, dig up old pictures of you, they'll twist and skew the truth of your life. We're going to have to keep our relationship a secret. When the song is signed, we'll have to pretend we have strictly a writer - composer relationship. I need to protect you from the media, from my fans, from everyone."
He hadn't answered the question. Had he, or hadn't he, come here to be alone with me, to show me his love?
Edward placed his warm hand under my chin and raised my face so I could look into his. "You have to know how much I love you, that we belong together. There can be no doubts. I see you have doubts. Talk to me. Is there something I should know about your ex-boyfriend? What he did to you?"
I closed my eyes, willing the tears not to fall at the thought of talking about Riley with Edward.
"What did Riley do to you?" he whispered as his fingers locked into mine.
Riley? He knows his name? Angela told him?
I felt lightheaded. I thought I could trust her! I can't believe she would have told him!
"Bella, I'm sorry," he said as he took in my reaction. "You must know that you talk in your sleep?"
I opened my eyes. "Angela didn't tell you about him?" I couldn't hide the relief in my voice.
"No. You said his name while you were sleeping on Saturday night," he said softly. "You called out for me as well."
I couldn't help but pull him to me.
I was relieved that Angela hadn't said anything. I knew I could trust her, but having Edward tell me I called Riley's name in my sleep was more than excruciating to hear. I thought back to the dream; Edward making love to me, Riley watching.
Edward's hands rubbed a slow soothing pattern on my back. The comfort I felt in his arms gave me strength. I needed to tell him. I had to own up to the fact that I'd loved once, and even though the love was not reciprocated, in my mind I had experienced it. I took in a deep breath and rested my head on Edward's shoulder.
I gripped his hand in mine.
~0~
~~Edward~~
Bella's hand squished mine tightly. I wouldn't force her to tell me, but I hoped she would. I would tell her all about Tanya if she wanted to know. I didn't want to keep anything from her – well, anything except Alice's 'gift'.
Bella pulled my hand to her chest.
"Riley was the popular boy at school. I developed a huge crush on him when I was fourteen. He had a girlfriend. I didn't mean anything to him. When we were nineteen, Riley was in a serious motorcycle accident. I went to see him in the hospital; I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to him without telling him that I cared." Bella took a deep breath, and continued.
"I would sit with him, read, study. It was innocent. It was me trying to get a piece of him, anything from him. I just wanted…"
I kept rubbing small soothing circles on her back. I knew this must be hard for her to talk about.
"He eventually recovered and went home to rehabilitate," she went on. "Five months later he asked me out. I hadn't seen him since he was discharged from the hospital. He was fully recovered from the accident. He told me he'd split up with his girlfriend, even though he was still working for her father. She'd gone overseas." Bella stopped speaking. She locked her fingers into mine and sighed. "I was in love with him, Edward. I was sure he felt the same. I've never been so wrong about something in my whole life. He…I…"
"He cheated on you." I stated, instantly regretting how harsh it sounded. I felt her body contract into me.
"Yes," she said. I could hear the aguish in her voice. "All I know for sure is that his ex-girlfriend had been back in the country for three weeks. I don't know if he got back with her when she returned from her holiday, or maybe he hadn't broken up with her at all, and was cheating on her the whole time he was with me."
"He didn't explain?" I asked. I couldn't believe he could have used her so callously, treated her with such disrespect, not even trying to excuse his abhorrent behavior.
"I didn't speak to him again. I didn't want to know, what would have been the point? He'd made his choice and it wasn't me. He didn't love me." The desolation in her voice was painful to hear.
No wonder she was so convinced I was with Rosalie, that she thought I was just using her for sex last night. I was holding a girl that had been hurt by a man she loved. He had ruined her self-esteem. She must have been carrying this hurt with her since she found out about his deception. I could only imagine the thoughts she's been carrying with her over the last week and last night, loving me, but thinking that I was with Rose. She thought I was just like him.
I held her. I was furious that he could have treated her that way. What a fucking idiot to have her, this gorgeous woman to love and who loved him and he pissed that love away. I hated that he hurt her, I hated that she was in pain. Her lips found mine and we kissed, but alarm bells were ringing. Is she so conflicted because she's still in love with him?
I pulled away.
"Bella," I said. I swept a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. "Are you still in love with him?"
She answered instantly.
"No! I…don't know. I keep trying to forget, but things just keep reminding me of him and then I feel so confused. It's been three years; I know I should be over him. I love you Edward," she said with determination as she stared at me. "I know I love you. It's not a mental construct or fantasy, it's not a lie. I am in love with you, but part of me can't help but feel that I don't deserve to…have you."
"Bella, I love you." I couldn't stop myself from holding her face in my hands. "Don't ever doubt it, ever. You have me. I'm completely yours. I don't want anybody else, just you…just you." I soothed her, my hands ran over her shoulders to her back and I pulled her into my body.
She reached her hand up to touch my jaw. We kissed, slowly. Her hand dragged through my hair. My self-control was at breaking point. She was too intoxicating, too tempting. The feel of her lips, the feel of her hand in my hair, was completely too heavenly, awakening my body with lust. I forced myself to pull away again.
"We should take everything slowly. We have all the time in the world to be together. I'm glad you told me about him. I understand why you were so upset last night. I'm not going to do that to you. I want you, only you. Nothing will come between us. I won't let anything, or anyone come between us."
She snuggled up to me and sighed. I was walking a very fine line now. Holding her in my arms, knowing what a cheating prick her ex was. It made me even more determined to prove to her that I was in love with her, that I wouldn't hurt her.
"Nothing will change when we get back to the hotel," I assured her. "We can still meet in the bar; we can still be like this." I squeezed her more tightly to my chest, "We can be alone together in our rooms. I'm not going anywhere, but it's my job to protect you. We need to be discreet. My contract is very specific. I'm not able to discuss my relationships. That's why I can't publicly deny I'm in a relationship with Rosalie until after the film is released."
"What about your rule?" she asked timidly. "You said you wouldn't get involved with people, I mean, intimate, with co-workers."
I kissed her forehead. "The song will be signed this week. My lawyer is coming to Vancouver. And I just spoke to Marcus Blake, the director, he said the executive producer is coming to visit the set and he mentioned that he wanted to get me some studio time. They're going to use Episode in the film." I couldn't hide my excitement.
"You still want to do your music?" she asked me. "Yesterday you seemed so excited about working with Liam Berty."
I thought about telling her that filming would take place in Australia, but I knew I shouldn't, not until it was a 100% certainty.
"I am excited about doing Berty's film. That film is, well, it's going to be fantastic." I grinned at her. "And I still want to do my music. I will be doing my music. Episode will be the song that gets me noticed, and hopefully get me a recording contract. Bella, you realize that you'll get noticed too, that people will want to know about the lyricist that helped me write the song?"
She nodded, but didn't say anything.
Now wasn't the time to start celebrating, even though I wanted to. Yes, she had a point about my rule. It was a rule I tried to abide by. I never wanted to replicate Tanya's behavior. I never wanted anyone to think I would use my status as an actor to abuse people's generosity, to get what I wanted with no thought about who I'd trample on to the get there. Rosalie was only nineteen and she'd already taken that road. I would never allow Bella to feel used, or disposable. That would never, ever happen.
Bella seemed somber after speaking about her douche ex. I needed to lighten the mood. I was energized now that we'd opened up to each other, but I knew being here with her alone, truly alone, wasn't going to last. I needed to use this time with her to get back to how we were before this misunderstanding had triggered what had lead us to this cabin.
"Hey," I said cheerily. "Go get your, what do you call it? Cozy…on?"
"My cozzie?" she smiled.
"Yes," I said softly. "Your bikini, um, go and get it on and we'll go for a swim."
~0~
~~Bella~~
I stood up; he was playful, boyish and so damn cute. I thought about rubbing sunscreen on him again and my body tingled. I could sense he was reticent about getting any more intimate than cuddling and maybe kissing. I tried not to think of reasons for this, other than he wanted to wait until the copyright was signed. We had both declared ourselves. I didn't think being together, making love to each other, was moving too quickly. There must be some other reason. I'll let him take the lead, I thought.
I found my bikini still hanging where I left it and I walked into my room. I felt self-conscious all of a sudden. What are we? He hadn't labelled our relationship. He said we were in a relationship, but he didn't say girlfriend. Just thinking the word made my tummy flutter.
Edward Cullen's girlfriend.
It was weird and scary. He said we'd have to be discreet. I can't tell anyone. I can't tell Jessica, I can't tell mum or Phil, Dad or Elaine and definitely not Eric.
Would Edward tell Angela and Ben, and his sister? I had no one, no one to confide in. Kate? I could tell Kate. She wouldn't tell a soul, maybe she could be my confidante, my sounding board, when my psycho mind needed grounding.
When I walked out Edward was holding two towels and the sunscreen. He asked me to put some on his back. I smirked at him as he grinned cheekily. Let him lead, I told myself.
I rubbed the lotion on his skin, feeling instantly turned on and needy. I'd felt what it was like to have Edward touch me, have his tongue on me, feeling his skin under my hands. That recollection woke my body up instantly. I want that, I want him, however he'll allow.
In my lust haze I hadn't realized Edward had stepped away and then started rubbing his arms and chest. I averted my gaze, he was too damn beautiful and sexy – how could touching him and watching him touch himself not turn me on?
I rubbed sunscreen into my own skin then we walked out together. He held my hand, grinning at me again. We didn't speak but plunged into the brisk fresh water and swam. I ended up floating on my back, squinting up at the fluffy white clouds above me. So much had changed in the last 48 hours; everything in the next 48 was an unknown.
Go with it. I love him, he says he loves me, we can be happy. I can make him happy. I am worthy of his love.
"Bella," he called out to me.
I lowered my legs and turned to face his direction. He was standing on the stone.
"Will you share with me today?" he laughed.
I swam over to him. "I'm sorry I pushed you," I said embarrassed. "I just…well, I thought…"
"I know," he smiled. "I shouldn't have…done this."
His eyes went dark and he reached out for me, pulling me up against his body. My feet tried to find the stone, but he shook his head and clamped his hands on my thighs and pulled them up, making me wrap my legs around him. I instantly held on around his neck. The water swirled just under my breasts. I felt so light, weightless in his arms, and I felt so content. There was just the fabric of my bikini bottom and his maroon board shorts between us, and Edward, long and hard nestled exactly where I wanted him to be.
"I can't seem to stay away from you," he whispered.
"Then don't," I asserted. I pushed my hips forward.
We kissed then the burning ignited and turned passionate and hungry and our teeth clattered together. He tried to get a better grip on my bum and I hung on tight around his neck. I could feel his warm skin pressed against my bare stomach in the water. Edward's fingers splayed over my bum and he pulled me closer and rocked his hips.
Yes! He was hitting the exact spot I needed. He was leading; I was going to let him do whatever he wanted.
His pace was quickening, he didn't stop the urgent kissing and rocking and I was tingling all over. Let him lead, I chanted, but I wanted more. I wanted skin to skin.
As if he read my mind he adjusted his hold on my bum and one hand roughly pulled half of my bikini top aside. My breast, wet, pale and covered in goose bumps, was exposed and he glared hungrily before smothering it with his large wet hand, moaning as he fondled and then hungrily kissed my lips again.
His steady rocking into me was slowly, torturously slowly, bringing me closer, closer. I wanted the barrier of the fabric out of the way.
"More, Edward, please," I begged when his lips pulled away from mine. He complied instantly, his hand that was covering my breast lowered over my hip and underneath to pull my bikini bottoms aside. He groped clumsily. I could feel the cool water swishing around me, cooling as he pushed a finger inside and started thrusting. I pulled tighter around his neck as he kept rocking into my thigh. He buried his face against my throat, licking and tasting me, rocking and thrusting.
It still wasn't enough. I wanted him.
I snaked my hand down to find him, sliding my hand between us and over his length. I tried to burrow my hand into his waistband.
"DON'T!" he said sternly. It was hot and commanding and even more electrifying when he pushed another finger inside me and rubbed my pleasure point. My body was on fire. Edward plunged his tongue into my mouth in quick pulsing bursts, as if mimicking what he would be doing if our clothing wasn't restricting access.
I came.
I came so hard again, and the hyperventilating sucks of air that I breathed deep into my lungs made me lightheaded yet exhilarated. I could still feel him rocking into me; his hand pulled out and he pulled my body against him hard, rocking fast and frantic and I wanted to be giving him more.
"Let me…" I panted.
I tried to touch him, but Edward groaned at me. "Please… don't move, I'm gonna…"
His warm hands dipped into my bikini over my bum with long fingers splayed and griping my bum cheeks oh so tightly. He held me with force against him, his rock hard length ground into me. I heard him moan and I held steadfast around his neck, hoping he wouldn't lose his balance on the slippery stone.
"Urgh, Bella," he grunted then held me still. I felt the sensation of warmth on my thigh. I could feel his heart pounding.
He was more beautiful than ever.
He was…did I dare even think it….all mine.
~0~
A/N: If you're still here, thank you for trusting me with it. Luv BBxx
