Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~0~

~~Edward~~

I held Bella tightly, feeling the warmth of her body in the water, her lips on my neck. I breathed in the smell of the sun, the water, her wet hair. My limbs were shaking. I wanted to drown in the scent of her.

When I saw her floating on her back, lust had overtaken all my senses. Bella's skin was creamy white, her tiny toes poking up from the ripples, the way the water swirled around her breasts, her bikini top wet and stuck to her hardened nipples. I wanted to feel her, touch her. The freedom and isolation of this beautiful place made me lose my control. It was just me and Bella and the birds in the trees.

I realized my body was rubbing against hers in the water. Like a horny teenager, pushing against her, humping like a dog in heat, trying to imagine the friction of actually making love to her, feeling the sensation and the emotion of joining my body with Bella's.

I recalled touching her intimately, giving her pleasure. I let the words we'd spoken to each other seep into my consciousness. There was more to say, so much more to say, but my body wanted to feel her and I was aghast at how my mind was plotting ways we could have intimacy without actual intercourse.

"I love you," she whispered into my neck.

I squeezed her to me more tightly. "Bella, the word love doesn't come close to describing everything I'm feeling right now." I kissed her earlobe.

Control; I don't have it. I don't need it, she loves me; we belong together.

When my mind wandered back to Vancouver, back to the orderly confines of the hotel, I wanted to rebel. The thought of hiding her and sneaking around, never truly being alone, knowing there were hundreds of other people under the same roof as us; it wouldn't be the same as this. I knew it, and trying to convince her otherwise was completely delusional on my part.

I wanted to be able to walk down the street with her. I wanted to take her on a date or jump on a plane to LA and introduce her to my family. I wanted to move her into my hotel room, make love to her every morning, and every night. Then when filming was over, I wanted her to come to LA with me, stay in my condo, live with me.

I was still holding Bella in the water. It was peaceful, my heart rate had slowed. She kept pushing her lips against my neck, inhaling my skin. My lust slowed and simmered. I didn't want to move, and it felt like she was happy not to either.

"Tell me what you're thinking," I said. My hands glided up her back, over her shoulders.

"I want to know what I am to you," she croaked, huskily. Is she crying?

I pulled her shoulders back to look at her. She wasn't crying, she was flushed and glowing and her eyes were full of desire and...love.

"What you are?" I asked, not quite comprehending her meaning.

She bit her lip, looking embarrassed.

"I know it has to be a secret, but am I... your girlfriend?"

I watched as she closed her eyes. I could feel the tension in her body as she hunched her shoulders forward and tried to hide her face against my neck.

I didn't let her.

"Open your eyes Bella." I waited.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly and apologetically. "I have no...you don't have to answer-"

I kissed her, a deep passionate kiss. I stayed in control. It was the perfect balance of love, desire and assurance. When I pulled away she was breathless and dazed.

"Yes, girlfriend is one word for what you are to me," I panted. "There is another way I want to refer to us, a way that fits more perfectly. We're soul mates, Bella; you are my twin-soul. You're the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with."

She looked confused for second and then she pushed her face into my neck and sighed. I held her tight.

She can feel it. I know she can feel it.

We stayed silent, in our embrace.

"What do you want to do today, apart from write?" I asked her.

"This...just this..." she responded and squeezed me closer to her.

I closed my eyes. I had no idea how I was going to get through tonight, lying in bed with her without wanting to...be with her, feel her. I knew we couldn't, and I tried to talk myself into just doing it. I'll pull out before I cum...that thought sent a shockwave through my body. There's no way I'd be able to stop. I wouldn't have the willpower to stop myself before it was too late.

"Are you cold?" Bella asked me. No doubt she mistook the involuntary shudder through my body as a chill.

"No, I'm just..." I sounded reflective. I thought back to our conversation. I need to lighten things up. The seriousness of our attraction was evident. We can be playful, not so heavy in our affection. Can't we?

"I'll race you back to the cabin," I said.

She pulled back and looked into my eyes. The playfulness I tried to inspire didn't catch on. "You go ahead, I'm just going to swim for a little longer," she unlatched herself from my neck, smiled timidly at me and floated back, treading water before swimming out to the middle of the lake.

I watched her fluid movements then swam back to the bank. I felt lonely when she was no longer in my arms.

This is going to be so difficult.

No, it won't, our friendship, we need that back. The whole situation with Rosalie had damaged the casualness of how we were together. The intimate touching had become addictive. I didn't want her to think that's all I wanted. I wanted her to know, that we'd be more, she was far more to me than a sexual conquest.

I know how to get the confident Bella back; by immersing in the one thing we've both been missing since we got to this cabin.

Music.

~0~

~~Bella~~

My head was awash with confusion, my mind at war with itself.

Just because the words are identical to the dialogue in the book, it doesn't mean anything! I mean, I read all the time. Words seep into my subconscious, daily. Just because he's read those words and used them, doesn't mean it's an act. It doesn't mean anything. He loves me, he loves me.

I was trying to calm myself, trying to think rationally. I couldn't get past the neurotic belief that Edward used those particular words to describe our relationship - words straight from the book and maybe the movie script.

Soul mate. Twin-soul.

I took in deep breaths.

I floated on my back again. I could still feel Edward's fingers inside me, his tongue in my mouth; I could hear his whispered words.

'I love you.'

He loves me. He loves me.

FUCK YOU RILEY BIERS FOR MAKING ME SO DAMN PATHETIC!

I screamed at him in my mind. I screamed out in anguish.

I should be happy; I should be completely euphoric that Edward Cullen was in love with me, that he is my boyfriend. I should be. Then why was it that the little fourteen year old girl in me kept taunting in a sing-song teasing voice "he doesn't want you...you're not good enough. He has a beautiful girlfriend; he'll never pick you."

I plunged my head underwater in an attempt to stop the thoughts, to snap out of the derogatory self-talk I'd tortured myself with, ever since I'd found out Riley didn't love me.

Three years...people mourn a death for less time than that.

I swam until my limbs ached and my stomach felt hollow. I'd eaten maybe three mouthfuls of scrambled egg and a tiny bit of bacon at breakfast. The empty feeling was exacerbated by my headache, my self-inflicted stress headache.

I stood on the bank and dried myself with the towel. The sun was warming, there was a gentle breeze. Edward had asked me what I wanted to do today. I thought I wanted to drag him into the bedroom and recreate this morning, or even entice him to get back in the lake with me and recreate that as well.

I knew in my heart that he wasn't going to make love to me here. The thought of being in his suite at the hotel made me feel physically sick. I didn't want to go back there. The excitement I'd felt when I'd thought we'd be reading a real movie script and doing something as normal and fun as eating pizza and watching a DVD; those memories of being with him there in room 3401 were tainted by the scene that had unfolded when Rosalie showed up.

He's not with her.

Still, I didn't want to step another foot back into his room at the hotel. Even my modest room on the eighth floor held more appeal than his penthouse suite. I'd much rather he made love to me the first time here, inside this charming cabin where we are truly alone.

I did crave the comfort and familiarity of the purple bar though. I closed my eyes as I recalled Edward playing the piano and singing Episode to me, and James bringing me champagne. Then an unwanted flash of those flirty cougars, touching, groping him, inviting him to their rooms; Edward told them I was a journalist.

That's what it would be like back in the hotel. We'd sit together, we wouldn't touch or kiss, and then what? He'd go back to his room and me to mine? Or would he walk me to my door and spend the night with me? Every night with me?

I could just ask him. I could ask what he expects. He says I'm his girlfriend, soul mate, twin soul...

I walked slowly back to the cabin. As soon as I heard it I felt my heart race. He was playing Episode. It was the version he'd recorded in Ben's home studio.

I opened the screen door and stepped inside. Edward was sitting at his laptop; he smiled widely at me then beckoned me over.

"It's the playlist I made for you, the songs that hold some meaning for me. I burned the CD's for you, but I forgot to pack them."

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist as I stood looking at the list of songs in his playlist. He'd named it 'Music for Bella'. I recognized some, others I was desperate to hear, to experience the music Edward loved. Seeing him so excited made me relax. He loves me; he made me a playlist!

"Why don't you go and get dressed and then I'll play it for you? While we decide what we're going to do today?"

I wanted to kiss him and run my fingers through his towel-dried hair. Instead I took a deep calming breath and walked away from him and into my room to change.

Let him lead. Don't jump on him like one of his rabid fans.

Then I saw Edward's balled up shirt on the floor. I picked it up and closed my eyes when I remembered the role this garment had played in our erotic interaction this morning.

I recalled the blank look on his face when he'd pinned me to the bed. I'd been positive he was thinking about her, but no. Something had troubled him. Should I ask him? Did I want to know?

I got dressed then picked up the novel from beside the bed. For my own peace of mind and sanity, I wanted to read his script and assure myself that he was here with me because he was in love with me - not because of anything to do with the role in Liam Berty's new film.

~0~

~~Edward~~

"Why don't we...pack a picnic and take a walk down the trail by the lake? We can hike until we find a nice spot, sit under a tree and, um, you can read the novel, I can read your script?" she said excitedly. She placed the novel on the dining table.

"It sounds perfect, except I didn't bring the script with me," I said. She looked disappointed.

"Oh, OK, well, do you want to go anyway?"

"Yes," I said. "What do you need me to do?"

"Nothing...except put some sunscreen on and grab the blanket from the car. I'll do everything else."

I watched as she started pulling things from the fridge, her brow furrowed with determination.

I walked out into the late morning sun and to her rental car. I fingered the fringing on the rug when I held it. This was the rug she'd covered me in when she snuck me out of the hotel to play a gig at Laurent's. I want to go back there, with her. I want to kiss her in front of the whole club, in front of Laurent.

Before I knew it, Bella and I were walking down the trail by the lake. It was serene. I felt...normal. I felt like a teenager again. I recalled hiking with my father through the Bogacheil State Park when we'd lived in Forks, back when I was just a regular teenager, not an actor whose face was recognized everywhere.

We sat by the lake, in the shade. There was a small clearing just five meters away, with wild flowers and grass. It was beautiful. It was...perfect.

Bella had made us delicious cold cut sandwiches and she served some fruit. I was so full and contented that I ended up lying next to her with closed eyes, wishing this moment could last. Maybe I could just disappear. I had enough money; I could hide out until everyone forgot who I was. I could grow a beard, be a mountain man, hunt for food, protect her, love her. We'd only need a cabin, no technology, no cell phones, peace, quiet, the lake and Bella. The thought made me smile. I could live like that. I could do without everything in this world, except her.

I felt Bella lay next to me and take my hand.

Her fingers glided over my palm, my knuckles, my fingernails. I felt her breath as she kissed my hand; the warmth made the hairs on my arms stand up and I turned to face her as I opened my eyes.

Bella lay on the rug, her ponytail a tangled mess above her head, my hand in hers, stroking it over her face, her soft pale skin, her delicate features emphasized with the size of my hand.

I wanted nothing more in the world than to kiss her, but I knew if I did I'd lose that control I was trying to convince myself I didn't need. I knew I couldn't really. With all that she'd told me, we should wait until we could get back to the hotel, think about what we were doing and have the means and time to explore without fear of being interrupted, or in my case, being caught short of protection.

I closed my eyes again and languished in the feel of her touching me. I didn't want to move. I was so relaxed; I could almost feel my body sinking into the earth underneath me. Bella turned and lay with her head in the crook of my arm, her thigh resting against mine.

Our breaths in sync, my hand tingled from the feel of her touching me. I fell asleep.

I dreamt of being sixteen again, hiking with my father when we lived in Forks. We'd come across a mountain lion, feral and hungry, its bones prominent under the shaggy and matted fur. It had seen better days.

As my father and I sat crouched behind a moss-covered fallen log, admiring the beast, I glimpsed a movement and looked up to see Bella. She seemed completely out of place in my dream, like a vision. She was wearing a short white dress and was oblivious to the dangerous animal that was only a few yards to her right.

I panicked. I wanted to yell out to her, but I was frozen, trying to think of the best way to warn her.

"Dad?" I hissed at him, as he looked on.

"She'll be OK, Edward. She'll survive."

I wanted to shake him, he sounded so casual and unconcerned and then to my horror, the beast saw her and started stalking, teeth bared, dripping with saliva, hungry, feral and deadly.

I jumped up from my concealment and Bella saw me, still unaware of the danger. She smiled lovingly at me and started walking forward cautiously over the rough ground. I needed to warn her. I wanted to shout out to divert the animal's attention, but my voice was gone. I couldn't speak.

The animal, too desperate and focussed on what it wanted bore down on its paws to gather enough momentum to strike.

"BELLA!" I shouted and vaulted over the log, but it was too late. I saw a blur of fur then a blinding white light flashed again and again, in a relentless strobe, confusing me and blinding me. Through the red and orange ghosting in my vision I saw Bella's pale legs on the ground, cut, bruised and dirty.

I shielded my eyes and then stormed forward.

The flashes intensified, the sound deafening me.

My eyes focussed and the beast was gone, replaced by a pack of paparazzi hovering over her, their camera's firing in rapid succession, the pop and wheeze of their flash packs charging and firing and the rapid repetitive snap and click of the shutter ringing in my ears as I tried to push them aside to reach her.

They wouldn't let me.

"Edward!" she called in a timid voice and I tried to reach her through the wall of men. Anger burned me so fiercely as I punched and kicked at them, trying to get to her. I need her to be safe.

"I'm scared, Edward!" she called to me.

"I'll protect you," I shouted out, but I knew I had failed. I hadn't protected her, she was hurt and separated from me and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't break through to get to her.

"Edward?"

I woke, startled and disoriented until I felt her hands holding mine as she sat next to me, with a look of concern.

"You were dreaming. I woke you."

"Bella," I sat up, and cradled her in my arms, kissing her frantically. There was an ache in my gut with the remembrance of the dream.

I'm going to lose her. She's gonna get hurt because of what I am.

I was suddenly aware of our surroundings and desperate to leave.

"Are you OK?" she asked in a soft voice as her fingers ran across my jaw.

I closed my eyes. It was inevitable that once the media, the paparazzi, knew how I felt about Bella they would do that to her. Hunt her, track her, eat her alive. How can I protect her from that?

"Just an unpleasant dream." I told her. "I'm OK, we should go. I'm not sure what kind of wildlife could be near. We should go back to the cabin."

"You mean bears?" she sounded surprised.

I helped her up. She's so innocent, so delicate and easily breakable. I'm not strong enough to protect her. I need to be stronger.

"Yes, and maybe wolves."

I helped her pack away the plastic plates and cups that were still out and I rolled up her rug. We found the trail and started back towards the cabin.

~0~

~~Bella~~

He held me and kissed me, but then freaked me out over the whole bear and wolf thing. I wanted to stay cradled in his arms sleeping near the lake in the shade of the tree. The surroundings were so different to the bushland in Australia.

When I'd closed my eyes and held him, I could almost imagine that we were in the forest behind my dad's house in Forks. I felt young and carefree, I let my mind fantasize that I was sixteen and met Edward at Forks High, that he wanted me, and that he'd made love to me, taken my virginity, lying on a rug in the forest. A simple teenage fantasy? Imagining what I would have wanted if I'd met him, back then?

I hadn't had that.

I hadn't lost my virginity until I was twenty. I'd not been carefree and lustful with boys at school, I'd never let boys touch me or steal kisses from me in between classes. I'd been shy and timid, hiding behind books. My only focus, apart from my schoolwork was sneaking glances at Riley, imagining him asking me out, kissing me again. I only wanted Riley.

This morning when I'd touched Edward, I felt the rush, the surge of adrenaline and arousal that I'd missed out on in my teenage years. It was all for him, giving him pleasure and feeling it, feeling him in my hand and regardless of who I thought he wanted, knowing it was my body that had aroused him. It was so typically Edward to want to return the favor, and his tongue and long sensual fingers had lovingly and greedily built my euphoria up and up to heights I'd never even dreamed of; the release I'd felt was better than any orgasm I could recall. Ever.

Then in the lake, the way his eyes devoured me and the way he held me tightly. It was sublime being outside and in the water with him while our bodies instinctively found pleasure. We'd been outside. I knew we were in an isolated place, but hikers could have turned up, a boat could have appeared on the lake. It was liberating and dangerously exciting. Edward had let go completely. I had no idea if he'd ever done that type of thing with his high school girlfriend, or with Tanya, but his desperation and the desire he'd shown for me was addictive.

As we walked back to the cabin, holding hands and not speaking, I started concocting fantasies in my head - things I wanted to do with Edward, before we got back to the hotel. I started checking off a list in my mind.

Take him in my mouth. Kiss every inch of his body while he lies naked on the bed. Ask him to go down on me again. Make out like teenagers on the sofa listening to his playlist.

"Hey, are you OK? I didn't mean to upset you about the wildlife. I'm sure we're fine; I was just remembering something from when I went hiking with my father a few years ago."

"I'm OK, sorry, I was just daydreaming." I said, realizing we were standing on the porch of the cabin.

"You're blushing," he said softly and glided the backs of his fingers over my cheek. "What were you daydreaming about?" he said playfully.

"Do you really wanna know?" I asked. I could feel my heart rate accelerate. He's my boyfriend, I can tell him anything.

"Yes?" he said, looking apprehensive and curious.

"Can we listen to the rest of the playlist, please? Um, while we...I want to..." Fuck just say it, out loud! "Why don't we just...make out? On the sofa." I added enthusiastically. My cheeks were literally burning now and I actually felt like a giddy fourteen year old.

His face stayed frozen for a beat too long then he licked his lips and they were on mine. He kissed me while his large hand held my face. "Yes," he said in a breathy whisper. I thought my heart would beat out of my chest.

Edward kept kissing me slowly and turned to walk backwards as he pulled me inside. He stopped walking when the screen door closed behind me. He stepped away. I watched as his lips pursed adorably, his eyes looked heavy, his fingers curled over mine as he held my hand.

"I'll start the music, you can, ahh, sit on the sofa for a minute?" he said. I could feel desire sweep through my body, tingling me between my legs in a low pulsing ache.

"OK," I said and glanced down at his crotch before I walked on unsteady feet to the sofa. He wants to; he's just as aroused as me!

I carefully lifted his guitar that was lying on the sofa and placed it in the open case by the window. I closed the lid and latched it with a snap. I sat demurely with my back straight and my knees together as the anticipation built and swirled, making me dizzy. I could hear Edward fumbling behind me, the track-pad of his Mac clicking in a fast staccato rhythm.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself, but it was no use. I wanted him, completely. I wanted so much for him to want me, that way. But I also knew that the crazy way I acted last night might have alerted him to the state of my psycho mind. I knew he thought we didn't have to rush things, but if he wants me, he need only ask me.

The music started and Edward sat next to me on the sofa. He took my hand and smiled at me.

"I love you, Bella." He swallowed. "I want to make out with you. We shouldn't, um, go any further though."

The decision was his, and I felt relieved that he was willing to voice it. All I could do was nod then Edward's hands were on my face as he kissed me. Like last night, it started off so slow, and sensual then ever so slowly, as our breathing picked up, the magnetic pulse and tingling feeling rushed through my body in a wave. I thought the need, the physical need to have him inside me would be too much.

I'd say it was unconscious on my part, but that would be a lie. I straddled him, so our bodies were connected, like they had been on the bed last night. The kisses were harder, rougher, more needy. The sting and drag of Edward's facial hair over my cheek and jaw as he laved his tongue all over me made me feel so alive. Every nerve ending in my body was screaming for him. Why are we denying ourselves this? Why doesn't he want to go all the way?

Let him lead.

Tell him what you want and make it happen.

If not now, maybe tonight? He's waiting for tonight.

Tonight, I kept chanting in my mind. Yes, he'll make love to me tonight. This is like extended foreplay.

I could wait until then.

But I couldn't wait to touch him, skin to skin.

"Edward, can you take off your T-shirt?" I asked breathlessly.

He complied instantly and I was suddenly ravenous to taste his skin. I slowly pushed him back on the throw cushions. He instantly reclined on the too small sofa. My body weight pressed down on him, I could lean forward to kiss his throat, his chest and his hard nipples.

I was so hot for him; I thought I might spontaneously combust.

Instead, sure that he'd make love to me tonight-that I could be with him without crying like the emotional wreck that I was-I took it oh so slowly. Edward's moans and grunts as he started thrusting and rubbing against me, like he'd done in the water, told me this make out session would not last long. I wanted to prolong it, and give my fourteen year old self something she'd missed out on.

I lifted myself away from his hips.

"I want to go more slowly," I said. My eyes never left his as I pulled my T-shirt off to expose my bra.

"Bella," he said. He looked like he was in pain.

"You said we couldn't go all the way," I stated. "Can we...second base?" I asked as I unhooked my bra.

I had no idea if the bases I was referring to meant the same to him, but I thought second base consisted only of kissing and touching. We'll save third base for tonight.

His eyes became intense and mildly manic when I tossed by bra on the floor.

Then he launched himself at me, his huge hands covered my breasts, his mouth started kissing my nipples, licking me as he moaned my name in a song that made me high.

I knew I was small, in comparison to Tanya Denali and I was anxious about my body, even though he seemed to regard me reverently when I'd stripped in front of him before we showered that morning. His head right there, his hands so big and fingers long, plucking and stroking my skin, his long tongue expertly swirling around. I was intoxicated with lust.

I don't need to compare my body to Tanya or even Rosalie.

He wants me!

~0~

A/N: You came back? Yay! Thank you, Luv BBxx