Chapter 21

The rest of the week was pretty light, which was good, because Olivia and Amanda could finally celebrate Valentine's Day even though it was the end of February. They walked in and Lucy walked out. Olivia held Noah, "Hey Luce, are you remembering the pills everyday at the same time?" Lucy shook her head, "Yes mom." Olivia laughed, "I love you too."

Amanda had her head on the side of the couch, "Hey, don't fall asleep on me. When David comes for Noah we're leaving." Amanda sat up, "Where?" Olivia sat beside her and winked, "It's a surprise!" Olivia smiled at Noah, "Can you say mama?" Noah giggled, "Ba Ba Ba Ba." Once David got there they left.

Amanda watched the road signs. "Liv, Jersey?" Amanda sat on the bed in the hotel room, "So are you going to tell me what we're doing?" Olivia smiled, "Take your shower and change into something comfy and you'll see." Amanda rolled her eyes.

They hopped in an Uber and headed to the airport. Amanda saw a huge black helicopter. Amanda laughed, "We're doing this?" Olivia smiled, "Yep, ever fly over New York in the nighttime sky. It's beautiful, not as beautiful as you but it's still nice." They climbed in and buckled up. "Ok, let's do this."

During the 30 minute flight they saw tons of sights. "Liv, it's so different at night from way up here. They saw the Statue of Liberty, Time Square, Rockefeller Center, Columbus Circle, the Hudson River, the Empire State Building, and so much more. When Olivia saw they were headed back to the airport she took out her phone and a small box. She tapped Amanda's shoulder since her eyes were glued outside the window, "Hey you, smile!" They leaned cheek to cheek and she snapped a selfie.

Then she passed her a blue Tiffany box just like Amanda did over a month ago. She snapped more pictures of Amanda in shock, smiling, opening the box, putting on the ring, and crying. "I love you Amanda!" Amanda hugged her tight. The tour guide took their picture of them in front of the helicopter. When they got back they enjoyed a late dinner.

The next morning they woke up still in all their clothes. "Amanda, don't tell me we are old ladies already. I had a plan for sex last night." Amanda smirked, "Well, how about we skip breakfast and use that nice bed before checkout." They kissed and stripped out of their clothes all the way to the bed. Amanda hovered over here. "Liv, your body is hot." Olivia rolled her eyes, "That's the first thing noticed. You only fell for me because of my body. That's so superficial."

Amanda slowly pushed Olivia's thighs open and disappeared, "Let me see if this can make up for it." Amanda licked and then sucked each thigh. "Shit Amanda, did you bite me?" Amanda laughed, "No, it was just a little mark. Let me kiss it better." Amanda watched Olivia squirm and wiggle. "Mmm Amanda you're going to make me…" Olivia threw her head back and came hard.

Amanda kissed her way all the way up until she was looking into Olivia's eyes. "Jesus Amanda." Olivia tried to flip her, but couldn't. Amanda smirked, "Nope, it's easy anymore and it's still my turn." Amanda inserted one finger. "Do you like my weight gain?" Olivia moaned, "I think I've created a monster." Amanda pushed in the second finger, "Maybe."

Amanda's thumb was pressed against her clit and she curled her fingers slightly and pumped. She knew she had the perfect spot as she heard Olivia moan louder and her walls tighten around her fingers. "Liv, you're squeezing me." Olivia's whole body tensed and then relaxed after she screamed Amanda's name. Amanda laid on her front and felt Olivia's chest and stomach move quickly up and down.

Olivia rubbed Amanda's blonde hair and pulled her up to kiss her, "My turn?" Amanda smiled, "Actually, I enjoyed myself from watching you." Amanda kissed her and jumped up, "How about we shower, check out, and grab breakfast?" By the time they got out of the shower, Olivia saw lots of red flags. Amanda washed Olivia but didn't want Olivia to wash her.

They stopped to have breakfast together. Olivia was watching her closely, because she knew what this was, the after effects of therapy. "So what do you want to do today?" Amanda smiled, "The weather is going to change soon right? How about shopping for some spring clothes?" Olivia smiled, "Sure. Noah is growing like weed."

They spent the day shopping. Amanda got lots of new clothes, Olivia got some, Noah got a lot, and they even picked up a few things for Lucy. "Liv, I'm going to throw these on Lucy's bed and I'll be back for my egg roll, so don't eat it." Amanda put the bags on Lucy's bed. Lucy usually spent the weekends with Dominick. Amanda went back to the dining room and found half an egg roll. "Liv! Really!" They enjoyed a quiet easygoing weekend.

Monday was back to normal. Despite how Amanda felt, she was always good at work. Listening to cases was hard, but it kept her mind occupied. Olivia was grateful they didn't have therapy, maybe the break would help. Amanda was running every morning and wasn't talking about it. She probably thought she was fooling Olivia but she wasn't.

Wednesday they switched custody as normal and Olivia had Noah. Olivia stood up, "I'm going to give him a bath. You two have the kitchen?" Amanda shook her head. "Luce you cooked dinner, but barely ate. I thought that was my game. What's wrong?" Olivia heard the question, but Amanda always did well with Lucy.

Olivia was the "mom" meaning heavy hand and Amanda was the "sister" meaning her go to. "I haven't slept with him yet." Amanda looked at her. "You and Liv think I have because she's always asking me about the pills." Amanda was surprised, "Well Luce, you got the pills one day and spent the night the next. You're never here on the weekends anymore. I mean that would be the assumption. Liv just wants to make sure you're doing the right thing. Pills are new for you and if you forget one and don't use a condom." Lucy pushed away from the table, "Not you too."

Amanda followed her to the family room, "Luce, do you want to talk about it?" Lucy had tears coming down, "When I got the pills, I told him. He was excited, I could tell. We've fooled around, but I'm scared. I know he's disappointed." Amanda put her arm around her, "Did he tell you that?" Lucy shook her head no, "Amanda, we got hot and heavy last weekend. He used his fingers. I felt him so I know. Amanda, I'm a big baby. It's going to hurt."

Amanda wanted to giggle, but she figured that wouldn't be good." Amanda was serious, "You're not a baby and if you're not ready, you're not ready. Stop pushing it, because you're right it can hurt. Dominick is a nice guy, so I'm sure he will take care of you, when you're ready." Lucy felt better after the talk. "Go take a shower, I've got the kitchen."

Once she was gone, Amanda FaceTimed Dominick. Amanda and Lucy had similar conversations before, so she wanted to make sure she protected her. "Hey Amanda! Is everything ok?" Amanda smiled, "I need to get really personal. I'm worried about Lucy." Amanda told him about the conversation and Dominick explained he already knew. "I swear, I'm not pushing her. I don't even make advances, I let her take the lead. I know she's scared." Amanda was relieved to hear him explain.

She cleaned the kitchen as Olivia came in. "Well, I have Noah down. How did you make out with the older one?" Amanda shook her head, "She's still a virgin." Olivia laughed, "I know!" Amanda held up her hands, "Were you eavesdropping?" Olivia shook her head, "Nope. She's not acting differently. Trust me when she loses it, we'll both know."

Amanda rolled her eyes, "Then why are you after about sex and the pills." Olivia got close to her face, "Stop rolling your eyes at me." Olivia kissed her lips, "I'm on her because I want her to have the routine down before she really does lose it." Olivia stared at her, "Do you want to talk to me about anything? I know when you act differently too." Olivia usually knew what to do. She thought about punishment, but after the last session, she doubted herself.

On Friday Olivia put Lucy on notice, Tomorrow is family day at the Museum of Ice Cream. Yes, Dominick is invited, but you're coming." On Saturday everyone went to the museum. "Alright everyone, grab a label and create your ice cream name. "Olivia Waffle Cone?" Amanda laughed so hard.

The museum was full of treats and sensory objects. Noah's eyes were wide and he touched everything. David of course took tons of photos. David held him and disappeared down a huge slide, stopping to get another treat. Olivia shook her head, "He's all yours tonight." Amanda held Noah on the swings. The best part was the sprinkle pool at the end. David took a picture of Lucy jumping off the diving board. They wrapped up the day with dinner.

Monday came fast and Olivia knew it was therapy day. At lunch Amanda shocked Olivia, "Liv, I'll see at home after therapy." Olivia looked at her watch, "What? We don't go until 3:00." Amanda looked down, "I called Alexis and made my appointment for 1:00. I'm going alone." Olivia couldn't believe it, "You don't want me there?" Amanda was cold, "Don't worry about me."

She watched Amanda leave and picked up the phone to call Alexis. "Liv, I can't do this!" Olivia scoffed, "Since your last therapy session, my soon to be wife, has barely let me touch her. And now she's coming without me. Why? I already know everything that has happened." Alexis let her get it off her chest. It hurt her to the core. Alexis didn't even have an answer to give her. She thought it was odd when Amanda called, but this is what she meant when she said things could get messy.

Olivia stopped her rant and was breathing heavily, "Are you done?" Alexis sighed, "I can't tell you and you know that." Olivia held her head remembering she was at work, "She's hurting and she won't talk to me. Please help her. You can talk about me and tell her anything. I don't care." Alexis hung up before she said anything she shouldn't.

When Amanda got there, she didn't look good. Alexis still smiled and had her sit. She wasn't sure if she would tackle another moment. "How are Amanda?" Amanda was serious and silent. "I hurt her today." Alexis asked what she meant. "I want her here, because I don't know if I can do this without her." Alexis moved to sit directly in front of her, "Then why isn't she here?"

Amanda explained, "She knows everything, but retelling it and having her look at me the way she did. I know she's waiting for me to fall apart. When we left on Monday she watched me more than Noah. Then she asked me what I needed." Alexis listened, "She loves you and cares about you." Amanda swallowed, "She knows me too well. When she's here, I can't hide anything. She asked me what I needed, because she knew."

Alexis had an idea, but asked anyway, "What did you need?" Amanda lost it, "Why are you asking me when you already know! I'm sick of this shit! I don't need or want this therapy anymore!" Alexis was calm. This was her job and she was actually surprised she hadn't broken sooner. "I ask, because I don't want to assume. Amanda, part of your healing is saying it yourself."

Amanda flipped the glass table and it shattered, "I wanted her to beat me ok! Are you happy? That was your goal for healing. I was fine! Liv and I were fine! And then you pulled that bullshit!" Alexis sat back with her legs crossed for 10 minutes and watched Amanda cry, scream, and even break several of her things. She waited until her breathing slowed, "Feeling better?"

Amanda rolled her eyes, "I'm sick." Alexis smiled, "No you're not. Amanda, some people don't have anyone. You on the other hand have a whole support system. I had you talk about something right?" Amanda just stared at her, "How did you feel once you said it and went home?" Amanda remembered feeling better, but as the days went on something changed. Amanda sighed, "I was happy, even that night I felt ok. A few days later, not so much."

Alexis shrugged, "That's normal. We didn't talk about your favorite color. Your emotions were going to be high. You made the choice to hide your feelings and take all the work you did admitting it and pretending for over a week that everything was fine. You can't come in here and take 10 steps forward and go home and take 10 steps back. I only went this route because you and Liv have something special and I thought you would trust her."

Amanda shook her head, "I do trust her!" Alexis shook her head no, "Then why isn't she here?" Amanda lost it for the second time, "Amanda, you've broken everything." Finally a smile, "I'm so sorry. I will replace everything. Will you call Liv to pick me up? I broke my phone."