Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~0~

~~Bella~~

"OK, I'll see you tonight then. I…love you," I said hastily and hung up.

I felt strange. We'd only been apart a couple of hours, and yet saying 'I love you' on the phone sounded weird and foreign and I instantly regretted it. Maybe I shouldn't just blurt it out like that? Does the sentiment weaken the more you declare it?

I'd spent the entire trip back to Vancouver Island compiling a mental list of all the things I'd done wrong in my relationship with Riley and I was determined not to repeat any of them when it came to me and Edward.

I'd obsessed over Riley since he'd kissed me at that damn party and I hadn't been discreet about that obsession. Everyone at school had known I had a crush on him, even Victoria. No one had said anything to my face, but I knew they all thought it was hilarious that shy, bookworm Bella crushed on outgoing, popular and creative Riley.

Even the night he took me out to dinner to thank me for visiting him in the hospital, I'd thrown myself at him. I'd tempted him, using my body as a lure. If I hadn't gone after him like I did, he would never have been with me. He'd still been in love with Victoria.

In the three months we were together, I'd been clingy and insatiable. He was probably conflicted and craving the intimacy we shared, because she wasn't there for him. But she had been, for three weeks he'd been with us both.

The thought made me feel sick. The thought made me angry at him for telling me all those lies. Regardless of what had happened, he could have broken it off with me when she got back, but he'd chosen to lead me on. He knew about my obsession with him. He used me. God knows how long he would have strung me along if I hadn't caught him with her at the restaurant.

All I'd wanted to do was get back to the hotel, invite Edward to my room, and ask him to make love to me, but I forced myself to delay. I didn't need to repeat that mistake. If Edward really loves me, he'll wait until I've sorted through this shit in my head before we go further.

I needed a friend to confide in. Angela was out; she was Edward's friend, I'd feel weird discussing him with her. I couldn't call Jessica, she would never be able to keep it a secret, and maybe she would doubt that I was telling her the truth. The whole thing was completely unbelievable, even to me. Jessica had lived through my Riley obsession; she knew everything that happened between Riley and me. She would think Edward was just another irrational fantasy that I was trying to turn into a reality.

I needed an impartial viewpoint.

Kate.

In fifteen minutes I'd pulled up at Kate and Garrett's B&B.

"Bella! It's so great to see you," Kate exclaimed when she opened the door.

She led me into the kitchen and made me some tea. Garrett was there prepping food for dinner. After some small talk and Garrett thanking me for getting the contractors back on schedule, Kate and I ended up in the sitting room.

"Where have you been, you look so, well Bella, your skin is glowing you look like you've…"

I smiled shyly at her.

"Oh my god did you," she lowered her voice, "get lucky?"

I could feel my face blush scarlet.

"Give it up! Who? When?" she asked.

I took in a calming breath.

"Remember I told you about the guy I fell for?" I said.

"The one that was in a relationship?" She looked worried.

"Yes. He came to find me, at the cabin. He needed to explain that I'd misunderstood his situation. He's not with her; he feels the same about me. It's kind of complicated, but we're…I mean, he and I are going to see if we can make it work." My heart pounded as I said the words.

"Oh Bella, that's just wonderful!" she pushed herself up from the armchair to walk over and hug me.

"I'm so happy for you. Tell me all about him!" she sat back down, her eyes shining with excitement.

"He's just...indescribable. He's funny; he's so creative and sensual. I just can't fully comprehend; I don't want to stuff it up Kate. I…love him, so much."

"What's his name? You met him in the hotel?" she asked.

I took in another breath to try and calm the fluttering in my tummy.

"Yes, we met in the hotel. His name is Edward." I said, waiting for her to put two and two together. Surely Garrett told her Edward Cullen was staying in the hotel?

"That's such a coincidence," she smiled and I watched as she shuffled forward in her seat, mindful of her growing baby bump, and leaned to leaf through a stack of magazines on the coffee table. "Edward Cullen, the famous actor, is staying in Vancouver somewhere as well. I thought it was such an uncommon name nowadays, but maybe it's not so uncommon."

She passed me the magazine she was holding and I looked at the cover.

My heart palpitated; my head felt light and my stomach dropped. The picture was all my nightmares come to life.

There was Edward and Rosalie in an embrace so intimate it was almost too perfect. Her hair was sexily dishevelled, her eyes were closed, her lips were on his and there was a glimpse of her tongue. The look on her face; I could feel what she was feeling because I'd experienced it. Even more devastating was seeing Edward, his hand frozen in the moment, touching her hair tenderly while his other arm lay protectively around her shoulder. A wave of nausea flowed through me. My chest tightened. I was in shock.

These are the photo's he'd been talking about. I was rendered immobile by the realisation that Edward had not been talking about the comparably tame photographs I'd seen on Eric's laptop; the photos of Edward and Rosalie walking into Edward's trailer and her coming out alone.

"Oh God Bella, your Edward is Edward Cullen?" Kate sounded more shocked than me. I understood why.

The picture said so much. It looked so real and convincing. It was ultra high quality and adorned the entire cover of People.

"Yes," I said my voice shaking. My head pounded as the blood rushed through it; my heart rate pumped.

"He told me it was a set up. It's fake." I said with a sad and tearful sob. My voice sounded different to my ears, too high pitched, bordering on hysterical. "He found me at the cabin to assure me it wasn't real." Even as the words left my mouth it sounded like I was trying to convince myself.

I flicked through the magazine to the feature, and saw the uncropped versions of the photographs in glossy detail.

Rosalie's dress was halfway up her thigh; there was champagne on the table in front of her. They were sitting on a plush chaise lounge in a beautiful, decadent room.

I didn't want to, but my eyes started scanning and reading the text.

The on and off-screen lovers were caught leaving the movie premier a mere fifteen minutes into the screening. They were whisked away separately, in an obvious ploy to throw off the paparazzi. A source close to both stars said they were forced to attend the function by their studio's public relations representative, however, after the formality of their appearance on the red carpet, the love birds decided to have some alone time in the private anti-room off the hotel's main function area, where the premier after-party was scheduled to kick off two hours later.

My vision became blurry and tears dripped down onto the magazine.

The fourteen-year-old girl inside me woke up. Devastated and hurt, she chanted. 'He doesn't want me. Why would he want me, when he can have her? He must just want the song. He'll tell me anything so I'll let him have the lyrics. He's like Riley, he'll use me for what I can give him and then he'll discard me. No one will ever want me.'

A faint shred of another Bella tried a feeble protest.

NO! This isn't real. He said they weren't real!

I felt Kate's arm wrap around my shoulder. She handed me a pink tissue.

"Bella, tell me what happened at the cabin. Tell me everything. Why would he lie about it?"

I hugged her back and tried to calm my breathing. I blotted at my wet face. When she saw I was calmer, she sat back down and waited.

I told her everything, starting with a teenage party nine years ago.

~0~

~~Edward~~

I sat motionless yet agitated at the oval meeting table.

I'd thought when Heidi had called me earlier that it would be a strategy meeting, just with Rosalie. However, when I arrived back at the hotel, my manager John Dowling had called my cell. He'd flown from LA the previous night at the studio's request. It seemed they thought this 'opportunity' needed more focus on it than I'd ever feel comfortable with.

I had been agitated since I'd spoken to John, and I'd become downright pissed off when I saw that Rosalie's douchebag manager, Royce King, was also attending the meeting.

The bland businesslike atmosphere in the room was excruciating and so was the way Heidi shuffled papers and tapped her Mont Blanc pen on the tabletop, before opening her hot pink iPad case and scrolling through her emails.

I couldn't look at Rosalie. Nothing she could say would make me OK with what she'd done. I decided if I was going to lose my cool it would be in front of her only. I wasn't going to allow myself to act unprofessionally in front of Heidi or even my manager.

"OK," said Heidi in her business voice. "You are both aware that you're not permitted to openly confirm or deny you are in a romantic relationship with anyone. According to your studio contract, clause… I don't know I had it here somewhere! Anyway, if you're asked, either in a professional capacity or even in a social context, you are to remain tight-lipped. However, the studio has directed me to issue a few quotes to the press. You can't imagine how many interview requests I've fielded in the last forty-eight hours, I mean, seriously, I need another assistant." She took a pointed look at the current assistant, who was pouring glasses of water and plunging the freshly brewed coffee.

"What kind of quotes?" asked John. "I want veto rights on anything that you officially release, and I do know that is in Edward's contract, clause 41, item F," he added in an authoritative voice.

Heidi glared at him with a mean twist at the side of her mouth that broadened into a grin. "Of course, John, I'm not the bad guy. You know as well as I do the studio is not going to sabotage this opportunity and alienate fans, or moviegoers. It all needs to be balanced and that's what I'm paid to do. Here," she said and handed out to everyone the papers she had been shuffling.

My eyes read, but my mind didn't connect the printed words with any coherent thought, because suddenly all I could think about was Bella and her spending time with her 'friend', a friend she neglected to tell me the name of, and I could feel a burning anger boiling inside me. I wasn't angry at Bella, I was angry being in the same room as Royce and Rosalie. How dare they just sit there like they didn't initiate this whole fiasco? The anger that I'd felt since that damn photographer invaded my privacy at Rosalie's invitation ignited.

I knew the douche that was sitting next to her was strong arming her into doing as he wished…but why? Money…status? He was just a fucking glorified pimp, using her in the most despicable and underhanded way. More shocking was that she couldn't see it. She wasn't taking responsibility for her own career, just letting people guide her.

Then it was like a huge weight crashed into my chest. I'm doing the same. I'm letting people tell me how to live my life, dictating who I should be with, publicly and privately. I don't have to put up with this shit. Who the fuck cares if they think I'm being unprofessional?

I suddenly switched from being apathetic to downright focussed as I read Heidi's 'plan' of how I should conduct myself.

"Media training?" I scoffed. I was going to lose it; I could feel the heat rising through my body.

John placed a firm hand on my forearm.

"Heidi, I will not give approval to these quotes, or for Edward to attend any 'industry standard' training. He's not a seventeen-year-old fresh out of drama school. This is unreasonable and completely insulting. As far as my advice to Edward goes, the only quote that I will approve to be issued on studio letterhead to the press is 'no comment'." He removed his arm. I was instantly calmer.

I trusted John implicitly. Unlike the excuse for a manager that Rosalie was sitting next to, John had a moral and ethical code that I respected.

"Of course, well, that was going to be my suggestion on how to deal with the situation," Heidi smirked.

I knew either action was a double-edged sword. The damage was done. Denying it would look like we were trying to throw the media hounds off. Not giving a comment would be interpreted as confirmation.

I didn't even understand why we were having a meeting. Oh, that's right, Heidi needs to look as if she is doing her job to continue to suck up to 'Jace,' and Royce would be charging Rosalie by the hour as well.

"Rosalie should not be confined to the hotel. It was a simple misunderstanding that was unfortunately documented. I think we should carry on, business as usual," said Royce.

I glared at him.

The anger returned.

"You fucking asshole!" I yelled, leaping to my feet. All the calm that John had instilled went out the window.

Rosalie looked panicked; Royce smirked at me, infuriating me even more.

"Edward! Sit the fuck down!" screeched Heidi.

I'd had enough. I looked at Rosalie.

"This is what you wanted? To be linked to me romantically? You decided you didn't want to make it using your talent as an actor? Your beauty, skills and family privilege weren't enough? What genius planted the doubt in your head, Rose? Who made you doubt that you could make it on your own? Who told you that you had to drag me into your plans for your career?" I clawed my hand through my hair, trying to calm myself down, but needing to get it off my chest. "Why don't you ask yourself that question?"

"Edward-" Heidi stood up, trying to diffuse the situation, but everyone in the room knew I was right. Someone has to stand up to that prick.

"You know what," I said to John. "I don't think I need to be here, you're quite capable of ensuring that no quotes about this supposed romance get leaked to the press. I only have one request, and that is I want my own car to and from the set from now on."

"Edward!" said Heidi sternly. "I was going to suggest that I move you to a different hotel, so at least the paparazzi have to cover two locations rather than– "

"I am not moving to another hotel." I cut her off, my anger spiking. "None of this was my doing! I refuse to have my life disrupted because of it!" The thought of them moving me out of the same hotel as Bella made me livid.

"I don't see why it would matter; we'll put you up at–"

"Did you not hear me, Heidi? I refuse to move. This hotel is where I'm staying; I need access to the piano in the VIP bar. Move Rosalie to another hotel."

Heidi looked at Royce and then Rosalie. I could tell this wasn't going to plan; Royce's smirk had disappeared.

"Like I said before, I don't want Rosalie hidden during this. She shouldn't be locked away in any hotel," he said. The only hint that he was far from calm was the twitch of his lip and the hate in his eyes.

I turned and walked to the door. I stopped before I opened it and looked back at my manager. "If you need to reach me, you have my cell. No quotes and I'm not going anywhere, except to the set in my own car at 4:30am."

John nodded with a satisfied grin.

I was done.

~0~

~~Bella~~

I told Kate everything.

I told her of my crush on Riley, sparked by his first and second kisses; Riley's motorcycle accident and our friendship that developed during his recovery in the hospital. I told her about Riley asking me out five months after he returned home and our first date. I explained how I'd desperately thrown myself at him, so sure that if I let him get away, he would never be mine. I told her that I lost my virginity with Riley, the man I had loved since we were both teenagers. I even told her of our subsequent three-month love 'affair'. I termed it an 'affair' because, as far as I was concerned, he was cheating, if not for the whole time Victoria was away, then for the three weeks that he was seeing and sleeping with both of us.

I interspersed the story with the revelation that if I hadn't crushed on Riley Biers, maybe I would have gone to live in Forks with my dad at age sixteen. I would have known Edward before he was famous. Riley would have just been a boy that I would have eventually gotten over.

As I recounted all of this, it was glaringly obvious that I was far from over Riley. Edward had asked me if I still loved him. When I closed my eyes and thought of him, yes, I could recall those feelings of love. Riley had been everything to me, he was my first love, he was everything I'd ever wanted, he was the only thing I'd wanted. The fourteen-year-old girl that still seemed to possess my emotions had decided she wanted him, and even though it took her six years, she got what she wanted.

He didn't want me, he wanted someone else.

The question was now plain as day. Why didn't he want me? I gave him all of my love, we'd been extremely happy for those three months. Why did he lead me on if he was still in love with Victoria? Why wasn't I enough to hold his interest? Was I just a distraction while he waited for her? Why did everything he said to me in that time we were together feel so real and heartfelt?

If I couldn't be enough for Riley Biers, I would never, ever be good enough for Edward Cullen.

I put my twentieth tear-soaked pink tissue on the table as I ended the story by describing my last phone discussion with Edward about meeting in the bar. The bar where I'd met him less than a month ago and wrote the lyrics to Episode.

Kate now knew everything.

She had sat patiently as I cried and relived all the sad emotions about Riley, and the euphoria of being in the cabin alone with Edward.

It took a while for her to speak; actually, I think she just sat quietly for a while to give me some time to compose myself.

"Bella, if Riley Biers walked through that door right now, what would you say to him?" she asked me.

I stared at her, not comprehending.

"I don't know." I said truthfully.

"OK, let me put it to you this way. Riley walks through the door, he says he's sorry for hurting you, that he made a mistake with Victoria and he wants you back. What would you say to him?"

I felt all the anger and hurt building deep in the pit of my stomach, my face flamed.

"I would tell him that he broke my heart and I would never be able to risk him breaking it again, that I wouldn't survive it. I would yell at him for his bad timing. I've found someone when I thought I'd never fall in love again and how dare he think he can come back into my life after three years, as if he never put me through any of that pain." My heart raced with the anger that needed to be expressed.

"I would tell him to go fuck himself," I blurted.

Kate smiled at me. "That's what you should have said to him when you saw him in the restaurant, Bella. You've been holding on to him when you should have let him go that night. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, right? Imagine how powerful and how healing it would have been for you just to let him have it, in front of her, in front of his friends and family that had no idea he'd been with you?" said Kate.

I tried to imagine the scene. I'd been too devastated to speak a word when I'd seen Riley at the 'welcome home' he'd arranged for his girlfriend Victoria. I knew instantly by the way they were sitting together, the intimacy of their bodies, that Riley had been lying to me. He didn't love me.

What if I had just walked over to him and confronted him? No, I would never have done that. I would never have done that in front of his friends and Victoria's family. But why did I choose to protect him, rather than myself?

"Riley is the past and Edward is your future," said Kate. "You can't give up on love because Riley hurt you. You have to be open without of the fear of being hurt again. I'm going to sound like my mum…it's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." She laughed. "Oh shit Bella, I'm totally turning into my mother!"

I smiled and managed a short laugh. Just then Garrett walked in with a tray and placed it on the coffee table.

"It looks to me like you ladies are comfortable here, so I bring you your supper," he said gallantly.

I watched as he unrolled cutlery from two white linen napkins. I inhaled the delectable aroma of Garrett's meal, my mouth watering and my tummy growling. I hadn't realised how long Kate, or rather I, had been talking.

"Honey, it's amazing. I love it when you're home and cook for me," said Kate, and I watched as Garrett leaned down to give her a soft kiss on her mouth.

I suddenly felt intrusive. "Oh god, I've totally busted in on what was supposed to be a romantic night alone for you both, haven't I?" I felt my face go red.

Garrett turned to me. "No Bella, you haven't. I'm preparing some meals to freeze so that Kate is still going to be fed like a queen when the baby comes, but I won't be chained to the oven while she gets more baby time. Please eat up," he smiled and left the room.

"God, I'm the luckiest girl on the planet!" said Kate, with a huge grin. I watched as she placed the linen napkin carefully over her baby bump and balanced the plate on her lap.

I grabbed my phone out of my bag to look at the time. It was seven. I had an hour before I was supposed to meet Edward. There were three missed calls.

"Is everything OK?" Kate asked me.

"Edward tried to call me," I said as I stared at my phone.

"Call him back!" she urged. "You can go down the hall to the bedroom you had when you stayed, it's vacant." She smiled at me.

"Thanks Kate," I walked slowly to the yellow room and closed the door. I sat down on the high soft bed and called Edward.

"Bella, thank god," he said. "Where are you? Are you in the hotel yet?" He sounded upset.

"I'm having dinner with a friend. I'll be back by eight." I said softly. My head was spinning. I felt like a little girl that was being chastised for being home late.

"When you didn't answer your phone, I was worried…" he sighed.

Some part of me wanted to apologise, then I realised I had nothing to apologize for. I had told him I'd be back to meet him at the Purple Bar at eight, and I intended to stick to that. The sick feeling in my stomach rose up. I needed to tell him I saw the photos.

"I…I saw the photos of you and…" I couldn't even bring myself to utter her name. "I'll meet you, in the bar at eight, Edward."

"Bella, they aren't real. I promise you, I'm not with her. I only want you. I need to see you." He sounded desperate. I fought the overwhelming desire to just rush straight to the hotel, to Edward.

I have to retain some of my independence. I gave it all up when I was with Riley. I can't repeat that mistake.

"I'll be in the bar at eight, like I promised. Please, Edward, this is all so new to me I need time to adjust. I will see you in an hour," I said firmly.

"I'm sorry, I just…I thought you were going to run from me. I love you Bella. I'll see you in the bar."

"Edward…I…want to see you too," I said.

"Drive safely. I'll see you soon," he said then hung up.

I walked in a daze back to the sitting room.

"All good?" asked Kate.

"Yes, I'm still meeting him in the bar. I told him I've seen the photos. He said that when I didn't answer his calls, he was worried that I'd run away from him again, like I did when I saw him with her and I assumed…"

"See! I told you. Bella, you deserve to be happy. Riley may have been your first love, but he lost the privilege. Now, quick, eat up because before you head off to meet Edward, I need to give you something."

~0~

~~Edward~~

She's going to break it off with me. I could feel it. Can I honestly expect her to want to go through the shit in my life, just to be with me?

I decided to go up to the bar and wait for her. I'd already showered, eaten a room service delivered burger and drank two beers. I felt anxious and wanting…wanting Bella.

I knew I had to give her some space. I remembered Jaspers' words. He made Alice wait three months. The thought of not being with Bella for even a few hours was unendurable. I can't suffocate her. I need to let her make the decision about whether she can handle being in my crazy life. The one thing I could do was give her space. She wants to be with me too. It's destined, she may fight it, but I won't let her cut me out of her life completely. Whatever she wants, I'll fucking wait forever to make her mine.

The relief I felt when I walked into the familiar VIP bar was amazing; our booth, no spotlight, just a small tea-light candle.

James was behind the bar mixing a drink. I scanned the room; was I looking for the same old dude smoking a cigar on the terrace? Yes, I was.

James smiled and held up a Heineken. I nodded back and sat at the piano.

Everything felt so right. Being in this bar, the bar where we'd met. This piano, the one I had completed the song on, the night Bella had written the perfect lyrics. It all seemed rather surreal in a wonderful romantic way.

My fingers touched the keys and then I was playing Episode. I didn't sing aloud, just in my head. I analyzed the words, the way she had put them together, their meaning.

Even now the lyrics resonated with a dark element, a certain danger, yet the message was clear. It was a story of love and desire, and a story of hope.

My cell started vibrating in my pocket.

"Harold?" I answered. My lawyer was a staunch type, efficient, practical and competent.

"Edward, I have the copyright documents ready. Miss Swan's legal representative, Ms Stannis, has cleared it all from Sydney; it's ready for you and Miss Swan to sign. I'll come to Vancouver Friday and meet you on the set. It should take no more than fifteen minutes. I should hear back from Ms Stannis tomorrow, with a time that suits Miss Swan."

I couldn't help but smile. The song; Bella and I will always be connected. Our signatures on a white legal document made me intensely happy. All I could picture was a Certificate of Marriage. Our names together, our lives joined. Bella is going to be my wife one day. I can't live without her. I won't live without her.

"That's fantastic news, thanks Harold."

"See you on Friday, Edward. Goodbye."

I picked up the Heineken that James had left next to me and took a long pull.

Everything is going to be fine. Bella and I are meant to be together, and nothing will stop me from loving her every day for the rest of my life.

~0~

A/N: So…thoughts?

I may not be posting for a week or two; I'm going to New York with my real life Edward. If I do have a chance to post, I most certainly will. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Luv BBxx