Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~0~

~~Edward~~

I woke before my phone alarm.

The drapes were open slightly and the small slither of light peeking through barely illuminated Bella's body. She was lying on her back, her hair twisted and curled over her neck.

She's beautiful.

I got off the bed and silently dressed, the whole time staring at her and imagining tonight: Ben's dinner, singing to her at the club, declaring my love publicly and loving her...

She stretched in her sleep, her eyes fluttered open. She smiled at me.

Can she sense my overwhelming desire crackling through the room?

"Good morning," I whispered and walked slowly to her side of the bed, bent forward and kissed her softly on the mouth.

"Hi," she said in response and wrapped her arms around my neck. We kissed again.

I knew after tonight, after we'd connected in the most intimate of ways, our kisses would be even more expressive. The lust and love would merge into something so profound that we'd both be completely absorbed by it.

I reluctantly pulled back from our embrace.

"I have to go. I'll see you at 10:30," I was grinning like a fool.

The anticipation for everything that was going to happen today was already blazing inside of me. First things first; I had to sign the legal document that would make the song official. Thinking about what was going to happen between Bella and me tonight, in this very room, needed to be held at bay, or I wouldn't be able to get through the day.

I knew this was going to be the best day of my life, but maybe the longest.

"OK," she sighed and reluctantly let go of my neck. I watched as she pulled the sheet up under her chin.

"I love you," I said before picking up my phone, checking I had the room card and backing up to the door to leave.

Her smile warmed my heart.

The morning was a blur of impatience as I willed everything to happen quickly.

Around 10am, I saw Emmett with Bella in the distance watching me and had to fight to stay focused on the scene I was doing.

She's here.

I tried not to look at her. I knew any acting I attempted would be shit if I couldn't stay in character. But knowing Bella was standing there watching me was too fucking distracting.

When I got back to my trailer, Harold, my lawyer, Bella and Emmett were all there.

Bella looked spectacular. Or was it because I was seeing her out of the hotel, in another place that was familiar to me?

She smiled at me. That silent 'hello' said so much.

Emmett left and then it was Harold, assertive and efficient, leading the meeting. He had the paperwork arranged neatly and marked with a tag.

I signed my name. I slid the paper across to Bella so that she would in turn put her signature to the pages of legal jargon. In the end, all I needed to know was that the song now belonged to us.

"OK, that's it," stated Harold. "I just need to lodge it all when I get back to L.A."

I couldn't help but grin like a freaking idiot. I jumped up to pull Bella into my arms. Lifting her clean off her feet, I buried my face in her hair, against her neck.

"Thank you," I said breathlessly.

I felt the heat of her blush and couldn't help but laugh. She's so fucking alluring.

"Uh-Hum," Harold cleared his throat. "Edward, I have the Liam Berty contract here to go over. I wanted to talk to you about an amendment to the clause you requested."

I pulled back from Bella.

I knew he was referring to the relationship clause that I wanted eradicated from any future contract I signed.

"Sure, Harold. Can you give me five minutes alone with Bella before we look at it?" I asked.

He coughed again and stacked up the pages before slipping them into his leather brief case.

"I'll just get a coffee. I'll be back in ten minutes."

As soon as the trailer door clicked closed, my arms were around her and I was kissing her passionately.

Her lips, her fragrant perfume. The buzz in my system was elating. I was drunk on happiness. The girl I would love every day of my life had just given me the most precious gift in the world. Her words and my music linked together forever, just like we would be.

"Hmmm, Edward." she moaned when I allowed her to breathe in between kisses.

We stood, both breathing heavily. I was completely high.

"Episode is official," I beamed down at her. "Congratulations, Bella Swan. The words you wrote, and my music...I can't describe how happy I am right now. I can only show you."

I kissed her.

I held her face in my hands, angling her to get the right position to be able to slide my tongue into her mouth. Deep, sensual and full of love; it was the hottest kiss. Lust and love in equal measure, and it fast became even more intimate when I thought about making love to her tonight, and one of my hands slipped down over her gorgeous ass and pulled her hard into me.

I wanted her, right then. I felt her body sink into my touch. She was kissing me back with an equal amount of passion and it was burning me hot.

Then she sighed and I felt her push against my chest.

"We can't...here..." she panted. She looked mortified. "Edward, I..."

Fuck.

I took in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I know we can't here. I just, I want you." I trailed my fingers over the flushed skin of her throat.

There was a triple knock on the trailer door. Bella looked panicked. She stepped back from me and touched her lips before trying to straighten her clothes that weren't even out of place.

"Come in." I said, when she was as composed as she could be. I kept my back facing the door, knowing that the bulge in my wool pants would be pretty damn obvious.

"All set?" It was Emmett. I looked over my shoulder at him.

"I was going to show Bella around, then take her back to the hotel," he said. "Um, I'll just wait here." He closed the door.

Bella and I stood staring at each other.

God, I want to tell her I'll be performing with Ben's band tonight.

I wanted her to stay all day and then take her to the restaurant myself. But in the end, I couldn't even speak, because she was looking at me so lovingly, it just about killed me.

"Is that OK with you? If Emmett shows me around?" she asked.

"Of course. We'll see each other at Ben's dinner tonight and then..." I couldn't even finish, as the desire caught in my throat.

She stepped forward. "Right, Ben's dinner," she said softly. "We'll play it cool and then..."

I touched her lips to stop her from speaking. The atmosphere in the room was pulsing with a physical electrical charge. It reminded me of the night Bella sat behind me in the bar. I hadn't known then that she was writing the words that would turn my first serious composition into a song that I'd just signed copyright ownership on, that would be featured on a movie soundtrack that would be released worldwide in a less than twelve months.

She can deny she believes in fate and destiny all she wants. Maybe it won't matter if she doesn't believe me about Alice's gift when or if I eventually tell her, because tonight when I make love to her, she'll never be able to deny her feelings for me or mine for her.

I had told Bella when we were at the cabin that I couldn't be with her until she knew the love I felt for her. Now I knew that she wouldn't really acknowledge it until I showed her. I would obliterate any lingering doubts and all her memories of her ex.

Bella would be mine. Mine forever.

~0~

~~Bella~~

I was dazed. I was practically a swooning mess, standing in Edward's trailer. His passion, his total consumption of my body and mind was stupefying.

We had signed what seemed like one hundred pieces of paper.

Episode.

Yes, the words I'd written—while I'd been in some type of powerful hypnotic trance listening to Edward's beautiful hands playing that shiny black grand piano—had led me on this roller coaster of emotions for the last four weeks.

His rule. Is that now obsolete?

There was a second knock on the door and Edward's lawyer stepped back in.

Had it really been ten minutes?

Edward looked uncomfortable. I knew I had to go.

"I'll see you tonight," I said, kissing him quickly on his cheek. His usually piercing green eyes were a honey gold from the contacts he wore for the character he played. I inhaled the spicy scent of his cologne on his skin. The recollection of the knee-buckling kiss shot a wave of bliss through my body.

"Bella," Edward said. I looked into his eyes. He opened his mouth, as if he was going to continue, but instead he just squeezed my hand and let go.

I walked unsteadily down the metal steps of the trailer and stood in front of Emmett. He was grinning cheekily at me. He even had one eyebrow raised slightly.

I laughed at his look and slapped him playfully on the arm.

He knew.

He was the only one that knew about me and Edward.

My stomach dropped. I didn't remember to ask Edward or Harold whether it was OK to tell my family about the song.

"So, I thought I'd take you round the set. This is all temporary." Emmett gestured to the half house construction in the distance. "When all the night and outdoor scenes have been filmed they'll pack this all away and head to a soundstage. You've never been on a movie set before?" he added.

"No, I went once with a friend to a TV studio audience recording. It's hardly the same as a feature film."

Emmett laughed and held out his arm for me to take.

"Allow me," he said. "You look a little light-headed. Let's go to the catering trailer first and get you a drink. Then you'll need to sign a standard form for indemnity and stuff. Is that OK?"

"Yes, of course." Signed an NDA would reassure Edward that I would keep our relationship a secret.

Emmett showed me around and introduced me as simply as 'Bella,' with no other label, to some of the crew.

After about an hour, I was lucky enough to see Edward in character acting a scene. He looked amazing. His face, the way he held his body, he was a completely different person. I was desperate to hear the dialogue, to see if I could work out what chapter they were filming, but we were too far away. I was surprised at how many people were around. People stood in hushed stillness until the director called 'cut', then it was a buzz of organized chaos as people walked around and moved things ready for the next set up.

Edward hadn't noticed me watching. There were so many people, yet he was so focused on what he was doing. I watched in awe as he finished up the scene and disappeared into his trailer.

"So, you wanna go?" Emmett asked me.

"Yes," I said.

I wished I could have stayed all day but I was starting to get nervous about tonight.

Should I buy Ben a birthday gift? Is the restaurant BYO?

"I'll bring the car around to meet you here," said Emmett.

"OK," I said, but he'd already walked off.

I looked beyond the half-house to the thick woodland beyond. I breathed in deeply. There was a chill in the air, the smell of the foliage. I could imagine myself in Forks. Well, apart from the fact the sun was shinning and I couldn't remember seeing sun quite this bright in Forks.

Signing the copyright and the NDA/Indemnity form was an anti-climax. I was happy that I could now picture where Edward went every morning, and it was kind of inspiring to see how many people worked behind the scenes to bring one of his movies to the screen. But, I thought I'd feel...different. I remembered back to a couple of weeks ago when I was sure that Edward wouldn't want to hang around me anymore once it was copyrighted.

A voice out of nowhere snapped me from my thoughts.

"You must be the girlfriend."

I turned to see Rosalie Hale standing in front of me.

I just stared at her. She was immaculately stunning. Of course, she was wearing full makeup, and didn't have a hair out of place. Her period clothes were tailored to accentuate and highlight her curves.

She looked me up and down, her lips twisted in distaste. I felt my stomach drop. The look on her face was unmistakable; she thought she was better than me. The way she held herself; I'd never met anyone so supremely confident in all my life. She tilted her head to one side as she regarded me. I felt completely intimidated. I couldn't say anything.

"I have no idea what he's trying to accomplish, but it must be something he really, really wants for him to be so...convincing," she said.

I tried to decipher her words.

"It doesn't really matter to me, as long as I get what I want. And I will," she added matter-of-factly.

I could tell my pale skin was giving away how uncomfortable I was. The blush burned up my chest and onto my cheeks.

Rosalie laughed sarcastically. "Don't take it personally. It's just a means to an end. When I get what I want, well..."

I heard the engine behind me and noticed how her expression went from superior to demure in an instant.

"Hi Emmett!" she said sweetly. She smiled at him. The change in her was completely disconcerting.

"Miss Hale," Emmett replied softly, and I couldn't help but look to him as he walked from the drivers' side to stand next to me.

"Please Emmett, how long have we known each other? Call me Rose," she pleaded.

I stood gaping at her, thoroughly incredulous that she could switch from confident and dominating to shy and sweet in a second.

Which one is the performance, or are they both fake?

"Rose," Emmett smiled. The look on her face was mesmerizing. Emmett was totally smitten.

"Well, it was nice to actually meet you," she said to me. "Take care," she added, her tone sickeningly genuine.

"Bye Emmett," she smiled and bit her lip before turning and sashaying away, showing off her perfect bum and bouncing hair to best advantage.

I looked at Emmett as he admired her retreating form.

He just bought that? Of course he did, she was nothing but sweet and lovely while he was here.

Emmett looked at me and did a kind of double-take before gesturing me to the car.

I got in silently.

What just happened? What was she implying when she said those words to me? Was she saying Edward was using me to get something he really wanted? Did she realize she'd already met me, that night in Edward's room?

No, she's just trying to intimidate me. But why would she do that? It doesn't make sense.

"Are you OK?" Emmett asked as we started driving down the barricaded street.

What was I to say? I was OK, really OK, and happy, until that one-sided conversation with Rosalie Hale…

"Yes," I lied.

"What did she say to you?" Emmett persisted.

"She...didn't really say anything that made sense," I told him.

"Just ignore her. She's not living in the same reality as everyone else, unfortunately."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Rosalie has been worshipped her entire life. You know her parents were both actors? She's kind of a Hollywood brat. I feel sorry for her; she just doesn't know how to relate to people. She really pushes all the wrong buttons, especially with Edward, well, you know."

I stayed silent, absorbing it all. Her words... "As long as I get what I want. And I will."

Does she want Edward?

I pushed the thought from my mind.

~0~

~~Edward~~

Emmett parked across from the restaurant and switched off the headlights. I was on time, but I wanted to wait until Bella had arrived before going inside so there would be no attention drawn to her.

"I'll just sit in the bar and you can call me when you're ready to head to the club, OK?" said Emmett. "You know there'll be more than the usual amount of leeches tonight, right?"

I closed my eyes, nodded and breathed in and out deeply. It was only a matter of time until someone spotted us, but I tried to push the anxiety away.

"There's Bella," stated Emmett and I opened my eyes to see her get out of a cab.

Oh God. She's stunning.

She was wearing a short white dress; her shoes were fantastically sexy and made her perfect legs appear even longer. They were divine. I knew; I'd kissed almost every soft inch of them last night.

"She looks hot," Emmett said simply. I didn't have any capacity to be angry at his inappropriate admiration of my girlfriend; she was hot. She stood, looking shy and awkward. I watched as she pulled her phone out of her bag and raised it to her ear.

The whole time my eyes swept over her. Her hair fell in soft, shiny waves, her lips were succulent, her eyes were defined in black shadow. I'd never seen Bella wear more than a little lipstick and now, even though she was in full makeup, it only enhanced and highlighted her beauty. I stared in a trance at her slim waist and legs, and I became aroused and simultaneously anxious when I thought about tonight and how I was going to sing to her, and make love to her. The vibration in my pocket only distracted me when Bella closed her eyes and shifted her weight from foot to foot impatiently.

She's calling me.

By the time I pulled my phone out, I'd missed her call and my voicemail had picked up. She left a short message, put her phone in her bag then smoothed down the front of her white dress.

God, she's so unconsciously sexy.

I watched as she turned and disappeared through the restaurant door. Immediately I dialed in to hear her voice.

"Edward. I'm at the restaurant; I'm going to go in, OK?" She paused for a beat. "I…I miss you," she whispered.

Oh Jesus. I love you Bella.

"Do you wanna go straight in?" asked Emmett with a cocky smile.

I swallowed. "I'm happy to sit here for a while," I responded.

I was erect and my heart was racing.

I closed my eyes.

The dress. The white dress.

I recalled the dream I'd had when we'd laid near the meadow together.

The mountain lion, Bella falling, hurt and scared. The paparazzi will become bloodthirsty animals once they know she's mine. They'll break her.

How can I protect her from that? Fuck! How am I even going to be able to get through tonight? How can I talk to her and not touch her, not kiss her, tell her how fucking fantastic she looks and not make it completely and blatantly obvious that I'm in love and she's mine?

I knew I wouldn't be able to.

Emmett laughed. "Yeah, like you're going to be able to keep away from her. You're dreaming."

I looked at him.

I didn't need to say a word. He was right. I knew I'd be spending the entire night in a daze of longing for her.

The more I thought about it, the more I knew it was going to be next to impossible to get through to the part of the evening I most wanted.

I wanted to perform Episode for her, and I wanted her, alone, in her room. I was fully prepared to show her exactly what she meant to me and now I wished I could fast-forward time so the torture of being unable to touch her at dinner could be skipped completely.

I had no idea how I would protect her from the paparazzi. My love for Bella just had to be a well-kept secret, for as long as I could sustain it.

I just won't look at her. I won't, can't look at her. I can't interact with her until we're back at the hotel. We'll play it cool and I'll keep my distance and everything will be fine.

~0~

~~Bella~~

When Edward walked into the room, every woman turned and stared. I could feel myself blushing, but I couldn't look away either. He was more than handsome. His hair looked damp around the nape of his neck. He was wearing those black jeans and the shirt, the blue plaid shirt. The remembrance of the cabin and that shirt made my skin feel like it would melt from the heat it was emitting.

I watched as Edward's eyes swept the room instinctively, and when I thought they had found mine and that he would smile, or indicate he'd seen me, there was...nothing.

No reaction, no acknowledgement.

I was just another face in a room full of people. I was not special, I was not who he was looking for.

I felt the pit in my stomach open up.

Of course, we're not in the hotel alone, we're here in a public space. He didn't want people to know that we'd been intimate, that he'd told me he loved me. Suddenly, all that seemed like a dream, a fantasy my mind had constructed.

This was harsh reality.

Was I just another girl that thought him attractive and wanted a piece of him?

I could hardly focus when Angela introduced me to a man called Demetri. I smiled politely as Angela explained he was visiting from London to be the sound engineer that would be going to L.A. with Ben and his band to record their new album.

Demetri didn't know many people in Vancouver either. I roused myself enough to talk about his visit, and what he thought of the city. He poured me a glass of wine and told me in his middle-class British accent how much he missed his girlfriend and even though he was excited to be going to L.A. to work with Ben's band, he couldn't wait to get home.

While he talked, I couldn't keep my eyes from Edward. I saw Edward's face light up when Angela bounded over to him. I watched as he gave her a friendly hug.

The two girls that Angela had introduced to me when I'd arrived started whispering. Their voices carried.

"I wonder if Rosalie is coming."

"Don't be stupid, he's not with her. Angela told me it's just a publicity thing. He's actually single. Come on, let's go and buy him a drink." I watched as they walked casually up to Angela to be introduced.

Edward smiled and shook their hands; he didn't once look over to me.

I craved one look of reassurance, one look that told me he was thinking about me, even if he couldn't come and speak to me, but there was nothing. I could feel myself being swallowed by shocking insecurity.

Another woman arrived and handed him a Heineken. He smiled and thanked her. I felt lightheaded from the intense jealousy I felt.

I wanted to walk up to him. I pictured it in my mind. I would walk up to Edward, confident and assertive, like Rosalie Hale, and wrap my arms around his neck, and I'd kiss him passionately. I reveled in the sensation that vision gave me, because I had done that, just this morning, when we signed the copyright. I had tasted his lips, his tongue, and his skin. I could almost feel his soft hair under my fingertips.

I closed my eyes and came back to a dark reality. Even in my fantasies Edward pulled away from my embrace and looked shocked. He pretended he didn't feel anything for me.

He doesn't want me.

"Are you OK Bella?" said Demetri, interrupting my spiraling thoughts. "You look a little flustered."

"I'm fine." I said.

"Here," he said and poured me some water. "It looks like you may be having a reaction to the wine, you're quite flushed."

I took the glass. "Thanks," I said.

I stared at Edward, wishing that he would look at me.

He didn't.

I was drowning, and Edward was my oxygen. I could feel the burning heat over my chest and neck. I knew as I sipped the water—the whole time with my eyes on Edward—that only one thing would alleviate my anxiety.

Just one look, just acknowledge I'm here in the room, please Edward, PLEASE.

I heard Angela telling everyone that Ben was on his way. Edward turned away to face the door.

I wanted to leave. I wanted to run from the room, but that would mean passing Edward, and then Ben as he came through the door. There was nothing I could do but wait.

Then there were calls of 'Surprise' when Ben walked in. He was laughing as people went up to him to shake his hand. I stayed motionless in my seat. I was desolate. The whole time Edward had his back to me, and it was killing me.

I stood up. My legs felt like jelly. Demetri stood with me. "Bella, do you want me to walk you to the ladies' loo?"

I turned to face him. "I'm fine, I'll be back soon."

I walked out, past the group of Ben's well wishers. I went straight to the restroom and into a stall. I tried to calm myself. Edward's silent rejection was devastating to me.

Did he do it unconsciously? Did I look that different in this dress and makeup that he hadn't even realized it was me?

I touched my lips, my cheek. I wanted it to be his hand; I wanted to feel his arms around me. I couldn't expect a touch from him in public, but eye contact, a nod of the head, something.

I sat with my head in my hands, trying to breathe through my anxiety.

Edward loves me, he warned me this is what it would be like for us. I have to accept it.

I heard the door open and women's voices.

"Oh MY God, he's just, arhhhhhhh," someone squealed and I heard heels clicking as they jumped up and down on the tiled floor.

"Did you see how he licked his lips, and his hands? Oh fuck, his hands are so...!"

"I know! Shhh," said the other girl. "Um, we should go back and try and sit either side of him."

I heard the water run.

"I'll just fix up my lipstick. Do you think Angela would freak out if I took a photo of him with my phone?"

"Maybe, don't make it obvious." They giggled and fell silent, as I imagined them making themselves attractive, for Edward, for my boyfriend.

I closed my eyes. I wanted to scream that he was mine, that he loved me. I felt as if I was totally losing it.

There I was again, taken over by the insecure fourteen year old girl that had no right to even think she deserved to be with the beautiful, popular boy.

I heard the women leave.

Struggling to compose myself, I unlocked the stall door and walked to the basin to wash my hands. I was alone and when I looked in the mirror I saw my own pitifully sad expression.

He's not mine. He will never truly be mine. He belongs to his fans, to the world. He will never be just for me.

No matter how you looked at it, Edward would always be claimed by other people. I had no exclusivity with him.

I forced a smile on my lips but now I simply looked manic and weird. I grabbed a tissue from the pretty clutch Kate had loaned me and blotted the lipstick off. I wished I could remove the eye makeup, but I knew that would be a disaster. Now my lips looked puffy and pale.

Our relationship is restricted to the hotel; of course he's not going to acknowledge me. He's here to see his friends, not me. He warned me, he told me we'd need to play it cool.

But his version of cool is like an arctic winter.

I walked back to the dining room, avoiding locking eyes with anyone, and sat back down at the table next to Demetri. He smiled and placed his hand on the back of my chair.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked me.

"Yes, thanks, just a little hungry. I can't wait for the food." I gave him a smile.

"Well, you're in luck, here it comes." I glanced up to see a waitress bring in a plate of canapés and slowly work her way around the room.

My anxiety and last shreds of reason slugged it out in my head.

Edward's not in character tonight, so why would he want to interact with me, his Georgia avatar?

Don't be delusional! He's not faking the way he feels. He's not Riley!

I'd thought that once I'd sent those unopened letters back to Riley that would be the closure I needed to stop thinking the worst. But my crazy mind was still hanging on to the worst scenario in order to protect my still vulnerable heart.

Maybe I need psychological help.

Get a grip, I just need to retain some independence and stop relying on Edward to be the one focus in my life! I have him. I have my writing. I'm living in a different country because a publisher wants my novel. I can do this. I can have it all. I deserve it!

I couldn't get fixated on Edward. I couldn't predict what our future held. I needed to be able to function without him, be independent—something I had never been with Riley.

Maybe I can do this. Maybe I have to. I have to accept it, or leave.

"Bella, it's great to see you."

I looked up to see Ben when I recognized his voice. "Happy Birthday, Ben!" I stood to give him a hug then sat back down.

"Thanks, Bella. Hey, Demetri, thanks for coming along."

"It was excellent that Angela invited me," Demetri smiled.

"No problem man," said Ben, smiling back. I could tell he was ecstatic that all his friends were here, but he looked kind of uncomfortable too. I felt like a ring-in and I was sure Demetri felt the same.

"Bella, you're coming to Richard's after? I'm doing a set," said Ben.

"I wouldn't miss it," I smiled and looked at Demetri.

"Yeah, I'll be there, I'm mixing the sound," Dimitri smiled back.

"We'll leave straight from here after dinner. Gig starts at ten." Ben looked at me intently. "So, Bella, do you want to come and sit with Angela? They're about to serve the appetizer."

He's just being friendly. Edward's sitting with Angela. I politely declined.

"No, you go ahead; I'll hang with Demetri. Besides, I think those two girls over there want to sit next to Edward," I joked, but inside I was dying.

Ben laughed. "Yeah, of course they do. Um, OK, we'll talk a bit later then," he added before walking away.

I made it through the appetizer.

I kept drinking my wine and water slowly. My head was light, my determination faltered so many times, and each time I glanced compulsively to the other end of the long table, I saw the man that I was painfully and completely in love with was laughing, talking, animated and charming, but not once did he look in my direction.

We signed the paperwork today. Episode is copyrighted. He doesn't need or want me now he has the song.

No, he wouldn't have deceived me that way. He loves me. I must have done something to upset him. It's me, not him. I did something wrong.

Rosalie's voice came back to me. "I have no idea what he's trying to accomplish, but it must be something he really, really wants for him to be so...convincing."

He wanted the song. Convincing, yes.

It's not an act.

Then why won't he even look at me?

As the laughter in the room surged it became a little loud for conversation, Demetri suggested we go out to the balcony.

I shook my head. "I can't stand the cigarette smoke, sorry."

"Let's go to the downstairs bar where it's quieter. I'll get you another drink," he said.

He was leaning in towards me so he didn't have to shout. Then I saw it; a flash of desire as his fingers brushed suggestively over the pulse point of my wrist. He licked his lips.

I tried to deny what my brain was telling me.

No, No, No, he has a girlfriend! I could feel my face flaming.

"Bella," he said casually. "Maybe we should just get out of here? No one needs to know. I can take you back to your hotel. We can have some fun, alone together, and then go to the club later."

You've got to be kidding me! Had I been too nice, was I unconsciously flirty with him? He wants to fuck me and cheat on his girlfriend in the process?

Is this my life? Is this what I'd always be? The temptation? The girl men wanted to fuck on the side behind their girlfriends' back?

I wanted to shout at him, call him a cheating fuckwit.

"I think you've misread me," I said in the calmest voice I could deliver. "I'm not interested in sleeping with you, and if you love your girlfriend, you shouldn't want to be with anyone else either."

"Bella, its just sex. Come on. No one needs to know."

No one needs to know?

I stood up, my hands twitched and my mind raced with ways I could hurt him: slap him, throw my wine on him, pull his hair, kick him, push him off the chair. I was soooooo angry.

I just turned and walked out.

No one needs to know.

No one needs to know.

No one needs to know.

Those five words. Those simple words finally and completely registered with me and everything felt like it was crashing in around me.

I'm over with being anyone's secret. I can't do this with anyone ever, ever again.

It hit me like a sledgehammer that I needed the validation and acknowledgement that every 'normal' couple has when they start a relationship.

Demetri had asked me earlier if I had a boyfriend, and I'd automatically lied and said 'no'. It was my knee jerk answer to his question. Only after it came out of my mouth did I realize how telling the lie made me feel.

It made me feel like I could be used, left, abandoned, discarded. No one would know.

I could be Demetri's one night fling. I was Edward's secret hotel girlfriend. No one would know.

Nothing. I felt like I was nothing.

I ran as fast as I could in the precarious heels, down the stairs. I paused to collect myself before I walked out of the restaurant. There was a group of photographers that looked me up and down, snapped a few pics but then lost interest when they realized I was a nobody.

I walked briskly away from the restaurant.

I'm nothing. I'm no one special.

My phone stated ringing. I pulled it out of the clutch to look at the display.

Edward.

Now he wants to acknowledge me? He can go to hell!

There were no cabs, so I continued walking quickly down the street.

If I go back to the hotel, will Edward show up? Will he want to sleep in my room, like everything's fine? Does he want to continue the role-play and act like the happy 'in love' couple; a couple that could only interact in anonymity in a luxury hotel?

Edward called again.

I didn't want to answer, I shouldn't have answered.

"Hello?" I barked in anger.

"You left?"

"Oh, you noticed?" I said sarcastically.

"Where are you?"

"I'm walking down the street."

"Did that guy hit on you?" he sounded incredulous.

He knew I was in the room, he knew and yet he chose not to give me any acknowledgement?

I closed my eyes. I felt sick, dizzy from the alcohol, and my anger burned me so fiercely I thought I would go mad.

"Why do you care?" I said childishly. "It's not like you even looked at me the whole evening." My voice cracked.

NO, DO NOT CRY; I yelled at myself.

"I can't do this Edward." I said more firmly. "I can't pretend that I didn't spend every second that you were in the restaurant, wishing I could touch you, that I could kiss you and tell everybody there that I'm…in love with you."

"Bella," he whispered, so no one would hear him. "I want that too–"

"Bullshit!" I yelled. I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. "You didn't even look at me." The tears fell and I felt my head pounding.

"Please, come back. I'm sorry. I can expl–"

"No!" I cut him off. "Just spend the night with your friends. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bella," he pleaded, "I'll leave now and meet you at the hotel. I want you to go straight to the hotel, OK?"

"Why? You ignore me until another guy propositions me, and then you want me? I'll see you tomorrow."

I ended the call and immediately called Angela.

She didn't answer, so I left a message.

"Angela, I snuck out. I'm not feeling well. Tell Ben I'm sorry and I hope he has a wonderful night. I'll call you tomorrow."

I looked down at the beautiful, painful shoes. Trying to be someone I'm not; trying to make myself desirable to him, so he'll want me, not for my lyrics, but me, so he'll want to keep me. He couldn't even look at me.

I took a few unsteady steps.

I need to talk to Kate.

I called her.

"Hello, Meyer B&B."

"Kate, it's me."

"Bella? You're calling early. I expected you to call me in the morning with all the juicy details of how he couldn't keep his hands off you?" I could hear the smile in her voice.

"The opposite actually," I sounded deadpan. "Can I come over? I need a friend."

"So early? Have you even been to the dinner?" She sounded worried.

"Yes, it was all too weird. Please Kate, I don't want to be alone and I need to talk to someone."

"Of course you can come over, I'm here. Are you driving?"

"No, I've had some wine. I'll jump in a cab. See you in twenty-five."

"You're not running again, are you Bella?"

Running, again?

Her words shocked me. I paused, unable to answer.

Yes, I was running. I was running from Edward, again.

Am I repeating my mistakes?

My anger turned instantly to anguish.

"I...it's just he..." I didn't know what to do or what to say. Tears stung the corner of my eyes.

Should I go back?

~0~

A/N: Should she?

I know a lot of you are going to be fed up and I expect anger and frustration. YELL at me if you want, flounce if you must, just know that they will redeem themselves.

I wanted to respond to reviewers from last chapter…but seems as though some of you have your private messaging disabled…so I regret I couldn't respond personally.

A little shout out to edwardsisobel for her feedback, and to my beta CandyTwi **smooches**