Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
~0~
~~Bella~~
After Kate left I sat on the sofa and took off the pretty shoes. My feet were sore and covered with angry red marks.
"You and Edward will be able to work everything out," Kate had reassured me as we drove back to the B&B. "Just promise me you'll tell him all about Riley before you fuck each other stupid," she added with a grin.
I stared at my phone. I had no idea how long it would take Emmett to get Edward here, or even if he would agree to come.
He said he loved me and that he wouldn't live without me. I believed him.
I closed my eyes and visualized what happened to that poor girl, Bree. The paparazzi thought she was with Edward. She seemed to enjoy the attention, but that quickly descended into panic as they shouted at her, and harassed her to admit she was dating Edward. Her joy had turned to horror pretty damn quickly.
Emmett and Kate were both right. I had no idea how I'd deal with that kind of invasion of privacy.
Edward keeping me to himself is his way of protecting me.
But inside my head the debate still raged.
Can I handle that kind of intrusion into my life if I'm with him? Maybe keeping our relationship a secret is a small price to pay.
What do I want? What can I live with?
I knew I didn't want to deal with the public and their intrusion into my personal life, but on the other hand, I needed to know that Edward would tell his family about me and that I could tell mine about him. I couldn't fathom not telling my parents that I was in love, this time. I didn't care about the rest of the world.
I don't want to be the target for a—what did Emmett call them— Leeches? A leech photographer with a digital camera that just wants to use me to make a fast buck.
Hiding from that seemed justifiable in my mind. Riley hiding me away had been a different kettle of fish.
I reminded myself I needed to tell Edward about Riley and that thought made me feel panicky.
The scars had stayed with me from the emotional hurt Riley inflicted. I knew it. I even recognized them, so why couldn't I separate myself from the comparisons?
Why am I still holding that hurt?
I was anxious and nauseous as I walked through the rooms of the little cottage and thought about everything in my life.
All of it seemed surreal, and yet, when I thought of Edward and how he made me feel, I knew we belonged together.
I'd 'loved' Riley for years before we were a secret 'couple.' I'd known Edward a month and the depth of love I felt was just as intense.
Why did the short length of time make me feel so ill at ease?
Can two people truly fall in love so quickly? And how can I explain the pulsing current that shakes through my body when Edward touches me, as if there's some other connection? I know I'm not imagining it. I know he feels it too.
I looked at the king sized bed and Edward's and my overnight bags placed side by side on the floor.
I walked to my bag. I put my hand inside and pulled out the condoms Kate had given me. I held the row in my hand.
Edward may not even want to use them with me.
No, he will. Won't he? He loves me; he'll want to love me, that way? The song is signed, so his rule about not getting 'intimate' with people he works with, can't be an excuse.
I thought back to all the times we'd already given each other pleasure. I desired Edward, we'd been intimate as far as I was concerned, and every time had been mind-blowing.
Why was I placing so much importance on going all the way? My body craved him; a pulsing lust that overtook all of my senses. That was the problem; I knew we needed to talk before we touched. Every time we kissed, desire dominated my actions.
It was clear. I needed to tell Edward about Riley and I needed to tell him I could only be a secret from his fans and the media. Not from his family. I needed to know he loved me enough to tell his parents and sister about me, and I needed to tell Charlie, Elaine, mum and Phil, that Edward and I were together and I loved him.
Telling Jessica and Eric was something I didn't want to think about yet.
I opened the bedside table drawer and placed the condoms inside. There was a box of matches. I didn't light the candles. I didn't want to assume that after Edward and I really talked, that Kate's none too subtle prediction that we'd 'fuck' would come true—right here on this bed.
Anyway, I didn't want to 'fuck' Edward. I wanted to love him, and feel him loving me back. I suddenly felt overheated and sweaty.
I walked to the French doors and untied the curtain. The latch clicked and I pushed the doors open to reveal a small courtyard. There were potted plants surrounding a trickling fountain. Beyond was a tall brick wall bordered by white rose bushes, just like the ones surrounding the swimming pool off the main house.
I stared at the reflection of the moon.
I was still panicky and nervous.
I need something to calm me down.
Music.
Of course, music was always my savior. I could find solace in the short three-minute stories and I could play them to match my mood; happy, vibrant pop or heavy, dark rock.
Is it fate or irony that it was music that brought Edward and I together?
I looked around the room. There was a small digital clock radio. I switched it on and turned the volume down instantly when an announcer yelled out an advertising special-deal in a confronting Canadian accent. I tuned it to a classical music station. Dulcet piano tones softly filtered from the mono speaker.
It was foreign and weird sounding. This type of music just wasn't me.
"Bella!"
It was Edward.
He's here.
My knees were weak. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to get myself together. There was no way I could have a focused conversation with Edward here, in view of this enticing bed.
I walked briskly into the living room.
I stopped when I saw him. My heart was pounding in my chest. He looked so relieved to see me. His furrowed brow softened as he walked towards me.
I held my hand out in a 'stop' motion, silently begging him not to come closer.
I knew what I had to do. I knew if I kissed or touched Edward, everything I'd been planning in my head would disintegrate.
"I need to say something." I said. The volume of my voice was practically inaudible. "I need you to listen to me and stay where you are."
"I need to explain," he pleaded.
"No." I shook my head. "Please. I need to say this first."
"Bella, I want to–"
"Please, I need to speak first." I cut him off.
The look on his face, his voice, the way he stood—hopeful yet dejected—was all too much.
I was seconds away from chickening out and running to him. I knew just one touch would make me feel loved and content. I knew I could entice Edward into the bedroom where I could give my body over to the sensation of him.
It could happen, I could make it happen.
Just like I did with Riley.
It suddenly dawned on me that I wasn't Riley's victim; he was mine. I'd used my body to trap him into a sexual relationship. I used my allure to get what I wanted, and then deluded myself into believing I had no allure at all.
How could I have been so oblivious?
I was determined not to do the same with Edward. I wanted more with him, I wanted everything, and I wanted Edward to want it too. He deserved to know how I felt when we were alone and together. He also needed to know I hoped to feel that way no matter where we were, or who was watching.
I walked around to the other side of the sofa, using it as barrier between our bodies.
Edward looked pained and anxious, but he didn't move.
"When you...didn't look at me, or acknowledge me, I..."
My body sagged in defeat. I purposefully squared my shoulders before I proceeded.
"I need to tell you..."
I was stalling. I knew it. Then I just thought blurting it would be easier.
"Riley and I were together for three months. I experienced love for three months, then...well I told you what happened after that." I could feel my traitorous body flushing my cheeks pink. "What I didn't tell you was that Riley never told anyone about me. I was his dirty little secret. His family and friends had no idea he was seeing me. The only person that knew was my friend Jessica. When he, didn't want me anymore...no one knew. It was like... it never happened. Like I never existed to him, that way. I can't live another lie. I can't be that girl again."
"Bella, I–"
"Let me finish!" I pleaded.
"Today was both the most horrific and the most amazing day for me. I got to see where you went every day. I got to see a real movie set and we signed the copyright. In your trailer, when you kissed me..." the thought sent a wave of desire through my body. I pushed my closed fist over my heart to calm the throbbing. "Then, tonight, I was so angry at you. We were in a restaurant with some of your friends, your best friend. I thought you would have told Ben and Angela that we were together, but they didn't act as if they knew. I didn't know what to say to them.
"I know you said we needed to play it cool, but I didn't think that meant you weren't even going to look at me." I looked down at my bare feet. "Or speak to me. You spoke to everyone else. I felt so rejected, Edward. I felt worthless."
"I can explain!"
"STOP! I need to say this." I could feel my anger building.
"Episode is yours. I thought you...had what you wanted and I wasn't needed any more."
"No, Bella, I love you!" He walked around the sofa and I backed away.
"Don't come any closer."
"I can't lose you."
"Just shut up!" I sobbed.
He stopped in his tracks, shocked.
"Please, Edward. It's scary how much I feel for you. It's confusing and addictive and surreal. I can't seem to focus on anything except the feel of your skin and the way you smile at me. I need to tell you what I feel."
Edward looked so forlorn. I wanted to reassure him, but I knew I had to tell him everything. Only then could he make a decision, knowing how damaged I was because of my past with Riley.
"At the club, you said those beautiful words to me. You sang our song. I knew. I know you love me. I could feel it Edward. So could every woman in the room. They all wanted the words to be for them. But I knew you were speaking only to me. Just me...
"When Kate and I were leaving, there was a girl. The paparazzi were photographing her, yelling–"
"She's the executive producer's niece. I only–"
"Edward! I know. Please, I know. They were horrible to her. They were shouting and even the fans believed that you and her... They wanted to believe. It made me realize that would happen to me. I could have been in her shoes. I would have gone through that, if they'd known you were singing to me."
I could no longer hold back my tears. I was still conflicted. No, I was scared; scared of that happening to me. I knew I wasn't ready for it. I doubted I'd ever be ready for that type of attention. But as I stood looking at Edward, I knew I would suffer it a million times over, to be his, to be with him.
Edward clutched the back of the sofa. "Please Bella, don't–"
"I love you. I understand why you don't want the world to know about me. I get it now. I really do get it. I didn't understand before. I thought it would be easy, like when we had dinner with Ben and Angela at their house, or when we went to Laurent's. That night was so amazing, but we weren't together, then. I wanted you, even then. I wanted us to be..."
I held my hands out in warning before Edward could move forward.
"I could do it, Edward. I could live through it all, with you," I said. "I don't care about the fans and the paparazzi. I just need to know that you want to tell your friends about me, tell your family about me. I can't keep you a secret from my family and I don't want to be a secret from yours. If you can't tell them, I just can't be with you."
I broke down then. Uncontrollable sobs. Edward's arms surrounded me, trapping me in a vice-like grip.
"I can't…I can't be hidden away again," I cried.
"Bella," he soothed me.
His touch was like the sweetest torture. I craved it, it calmed me, and yet, the fear that this would be the last time I'd feel his hands, his body against mine, was terrifying. What if he saw I was carrying way too much emotional baggage to be worth the effort?
I'm not normal.
I struggled out of his grasp and wrapped my arms around him. I stood on tiptoes to guide his face to me so I could kiss him, a soft, closed-mouth kiss.
"I love you." I whispered.
Edward's hands stroked my hair, holding my head gently. His eyes looked into mine as he lowered his lips. He kissed me deeply, a kiss full of relief and passion.
I let him.
Even if this was to be our last embrace, I let him.
I didn't want to stop.
Edward placed his forehead against mine.
"Can I speak now? Please," he asked me.
I nodded, eyes closed.
I could feel and smell his breath against my face. He didn't release me and I didn't want him to.
"Bella, my family already knows about you. I told them everything when I was in LA for the junket. They know about how we met, the song, your connection to Forks. They know I'm in love with you, that I want to be with you every day for the rest of my life. They want to meet you."
I opened my eyes. I tried to absorb what he was telling me.
Edward's family know about me?
They know?
"I'm not a secret," I whispered dumbly.
"No, god no, you're not a secret."
Edward's lips touched mine tentatively; he barely pulled his lips away before he spoke again. "I told them. How could I not tell them that I'd finally met my soul mate?"
~0~
~~Edward~~
When she told me to shut up, I nearly passed out with shock.
"Please, Edward. I need to talk. I can't fully explain. It's scary how much I feel for you. It's confusing and addictive and surreal. I can't seem to focus on anything except the feel of your skin and the way you smile at me. Please, I need to tell you what I feel." she said.
Jasper's words came back to me. '...stay positive, wait for her, give her all the time she needs. You know it should all work out, just not instantly, OK?'
He told me not to tell her about Alice's dream. He said to give her space. 'You need to take things slowly. You don't have to be together straight away.'
She doesn't have the insight that I do. She doesn't know that we are soul mates.
I stood, unmoving, trying to let her speak as she described what my declaration meant to her.
"At the club, you said those beautiful words to me. You sang our song. I knew. I know you love me. I could feel it Edward. So could every woman in the room. They all wanted the words to be for them. But I knew you were speaking only to me. Just me...
"When Kate and I were leaving," she said.
Kate? She's the friend Bella went to see when we got back from the cabin?
"There was a girl. The paparazzi were photographing her, yelling–"
No! She can't think there's anything between me and Bree!
I interrupted. "She's the executive producer's niece. I only–"
"Edward! I know. Please, I know. They were horrible to her. They were shouting and even the fans believed that you and her... They wanted to believe. It made me realize that would happen to me. I would have been in her shoes. I would have gone through that, if they'd known you were singing to me."
I watched as tears fell from her beautiful brown eyes. It took all my strength not to run to her and hold her in my arms.
"Please Bella, don't–"
She cut me off again.
"I love you. I understand why you don't want the world to know about me. I get it now. I really do get it. I suppose I didn't really understand. I thought it would be easy, like when we had dinner with Ben and Angela at their house, or when we went to Laurent's. That night was so amazing, but we weren't together, then. I wanted you, even then. I wanted us to be..."
I couldn't take it any more. I needed to reassure her. My body launched itself towards her, like a magnet.
How could I not comfort her when she was so upset and...broken?
Bella gestured for me to stay back.
"I could do it, I could live through it all, with you. I don't care about the fans and the paparazzi. I just need to know that you want to tell your friends and family about me. I can't keep you a secret from my family and I don't want to be a secret from yours. If you can't tell them, I just can't be with you."
She thinks I want to keep her a secret from my family. NO, NO, NO!
I couldn't let her think that! I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her, holding her tightly to me, so relieved that I could finally touch her.
"I can't…I can't be hidden away again," She was openly crying now; steady tears that broke my heart.
"Bella," I said as I pulled her closer to me, breathing in that sweet addictive floral perfume and the scent of her silky hair.
Our breathing became synchronized. I knew I would wait. I could wait for her. How can I reassure her?
She started to pull away from me and I wanted to stop her, but then she pulled my face down to hers and kissed me gently on the lips.
"I love you," she whispered.
I kissed her back. It was a soft and extremely tentative kiss. Even so, the fire in my veins ignited. All it took was the touch of her lips to mine to remind me how I couldn't live without her and that I couldn't fuck this up.
Her soft silky hair under my fingertips, the warmth of her body and the pulsing static where her skin touched mine was even more powerful.
How can she not accept it? Tell her, everything...
"Can I speak now? Please."
She didn't say no. I took in a long slow breath.
"Bella, my family already knows about you. They know everything. I told them everything when I was in LA for the junket. They know about how we met, the song, your connection to Forks. They know I'm in love with you, that I want to be with you every day for the rest of my life. They want to meet you."
I can't believe I didn't tell Bella this already. I thought back to the cabin, how easy it was for me to let my desire for her dictate my actions, rather than stop and communicate verbally.
Was that a habit I learnt from Tanya? She was always distracting me with sex when I wanted to talk about our future. Had I inadvertently taken on that trait?
"I'm not a secret," Bella said quietly.
"No, god no, you're not a secret." I said, pulling her closely to me and kissing her again.
"I told them. How could I not tell them that I'd finally met my soul mate? I want you to meet them; my father Carlisle, my mother Esme and Alice and her boyfriend Jasper." I burrowed my face into to hair and whispered to her. "I'm not your ex." I was determined to eradicate this guy Riley from her thoughts forever. "I'll never do that to you. I love you. I can't lose you. Please Bella, whatever you want. I'll give you what ever you want. I love you, we can make this work."
I pulled her to me and walked with her to sit on the sofa, holding her close to my body, stroking and kissing her hair. Her eye makeup had run. Her lips were trembling.
"Please understand, I want you all to myself, for as long as we can sustain it. They'll make your life hell. It's my job to protect you, to keep you safe. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. Just seeing...the reason I was so...jealous at the restaurant." I tried to stifle the sickly fire of rage that I experienced when I saw Demetri coveting her. "I feel very...protective of you. I knew what he was thinking as soon as I saw him. I was trying to keep my distance."
"Wait, you knew? How? I..."
"It was obvious that he wanted you. It made me so livid with jealousy. I wanted to rip his goddamn head off."
"Edward," she sighed and touched my face. "I didn't realize. God, there is something so wrong with me!"
"I tell you that I wanted to kill a man for looking at you with desire and you think there's something wrong with you?" I squeezed her body in my arms.
"Please, trust me. I've seen what they do to sell magazines, to create false stories. I will fiercely protect you, for as long as I can. My family, they know what it's like; they've been dealing with it for the last few years. Please..."
Her hand rested against my chest as I pulled her into my tight embrace. I couldn't be without her. I didn't have the strength to be without her. I couldn't wait any length of time for her to absorb it all. I wanted her now, right now, to believe me and feel it and let go. I wanted her to know the depth of our connection and never be in a position to question it. I'd fucked up, twice now. I wouldn't leave it up to fate to prevent me from permanently damaging this. I would do everything now, this weekend, to reassure her that we are two pieces of the same living, breathing soul and that we should never be apart.
I kissed her. Slowly at first, then my desire raged and my hand glided up and down her arm. Feeling her soft skin was like a euphoric high, a buzz, a state of calm and a rush all at the same time.
The slow maneuvering of our bodies came naturally until Bella was lying on top of me, my arms around her, our lips barely disconnecting.
Her breath came in short sharp pants, quivering and softly sighing in a distinct mesmerizing harmony. The sound, the weight of her body on top of me, made me dizzy.
My hands smoothed along her waist. Delicate beads and silky patches of lace produced the most maddening tactile sensation against my fingertips.
"You're beautiful." I whispered, as my hand skimmed the hemline of the dress. The texture changed from lumpy to silky smooth as my hand brushed over the curve of her thigh. My body was already alight with the intense physical desire to love her.
Bella stopped kissing me. She dipped her head to my chest. Her hair shielded her face and her fingers clenched my arms.
"You have to tell me what you're thinking." I tried to get her to look at me, but she shied away.
"Bella?" I prompted.
"He used to call me beautiful, every day. I'm afraid, Edward. I'm afraid of losing you. I'm afraid that I'm too damaged, I'm not strong enough, and I'm not special enough to be worthy of you. I don't want you to want me just because you think I'm... the way I look. I want more than that. I want more than you do. I feel like you'll work it out, like you'll disappear."
"Bella, no. Now that I've found you; you won't be able to get rid of me." My hands cupped her jaw as I gently guided her to look at me. "We're meant to be together...you are beautiful. I want you because I'm in love with you. I'm in love with the girl that sat with me and opened her soul to me in the bar. Who brought me Australian desserts and made me CD's of her favorite music. The girl that took me to Laurent's, I'm in love with her, with you. You really don't see yourself clearly at all. You're everything to me; you're everything." I brushed my lips over hers.
It seemed like the perfect time to tell her about Alice's gift—Alice's dream about my soul mate. I could make Bella believe.
Or scare her away.
We stared at each other. I wasn't sure what to do.
Tell her.
No, it's too soon.
Suddenly I remembered a conversation I had years ago with Alice. She'd been with Jasper almost a year. They were so clingy with each other, still. I'd made her accompany me as my guest to my first movie premier. I wanted time with my sister. I'd missed her.
'When you meet your soul mate, Edward, you'll experience the most mind blowing sensations. It's so hard to describe. It's like they become your world. The desire, the love the thrill of that first kiss, it stays. Like the moment is frozen. You'll never grow tired of her; you'll never feel staid familiarity no matter how long you've been together. It will be like the first time every time; the heart palpitations, the adrenaline rush the dizzying, spinning euphoria of love.'
At the time, I'd dismissed it. I couldn't comprehend it. To me, Alice was simply head over heels in love with Jasper and he felt the same way for her. I hadn't known at the time that Alice had to suffer four uneasy months without him, without her soul mate.
"Your ex is a complete dick for hurting you. I'm not going anywhere. I couldn't, you own me, Bella."
I couldn't be too cocky. I couldn't fuck this up again.
Bella looked to my lips. I could feel it building. I could sense it. When her mouth opened slowly and she licked her lips, I was gone. Consumed by an overwhelming frenzy of lust. My lips and tongue were on her in an instant as I held her.
She kissed me back.
I kissed Bella and I believed. We'd grow old together; we'd always feel this. There would be no one else for us, nothing that we'd want more than to be together.
Time, the word was so simple. My perception of time and space and motion, would be skewed from now on. Bella's toast, when we sat in the VIP bar, the one I'd quoted when I sang to her earlier. It wasn't correct.
'...the song that defines the place that we occupy right now. Everything will change around us, we will change, but the words and the music will never alter.'
Yes, we would change and grow, but not when it came to our love. It would not alter, like the words and music to Episode, it would be frozen in the same state of bliss, newness everyday that would never fade or be taken for granted.
Bella is the words.
I am the music.
Together we form the perfect balance and that won't change.
Bella's admission that she thought writing the lyrics was 'a psychotic episode, whilst drunk and suffering from exhaustion'. I knew differently.
The thought that I could have left the bar that night and never saw her again made my stomach drop with dread.
Fate stepped in, time, the universe, shit I don't know, but something happened to ensure we met.
We were breathless, and our bodies were writhing in a blissful rhythm. I pulled back to look at her. When her eyes took in my face, she scrambled away from me.
She knows I want her. She's not ready yet?
"You can't do that to me. We need to talk some more. I lose my mind every time you touch or kiss me. I can't think straight. There is more I need to say, to ask," she said.
She had no idea of my epiphany.
"Ask me anything," I said in a lust-affected growl.
She scrambled to the other side of the sofa and pulled her bare knees up to her chest. I saw a flash of her white underwear and had to close my eyes and will myself to calm down.
Fuck, I am that hungry mountain lion that wants to devour her.
"What happens when you stop filming? What happens to...us, when you leave Vancouver? Will you...want to see me again? Will you still want to be my...boyfriend?"
Her voice snapped me out of my enforced stillness. I slowly sat up.
Once again, I couldn't believe I hadn't verbalized the image of our future in my mind.
"Yes, Bella. I want everything with you. I want to meet Chief Swan officially, as your boyfriend. I can meet your mom when I start pre-production on Liam Berty's film. It's going to be filmed in Queensland. I want you with me. I want you to live with me in LA when I finish filming here. I want you to come to London with me in January when I start filming my next movie. I don't want us to be apart."
She looked stunned.
"You're going to be filming in Australia? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I haven't signed the contract yet. Why do you think I've been so excited about working on the film? I'll get to spend four months with you in Australia. I want to see where you grew up. I want to meet your mom and Phil?"
She nodded at me. Her lips looked pale.
"What is it?" I asked. I didn't move towards her, even though my body felt compelled to. She was right about 'losing our minds' and our focus when we were touching and kissing.
"I just, the book, you never showed me the script. I thought...never mind."
We sat in silence.
I could tell her mind was processing things. I didn't break the silence, but I needed to feel her skin. I tentatively reached out to touch her ankle, and I pulled it towards me and placed her dainty foot on my lap.
She sighed and stretched her other leg out. The arches of her feet touched my thigh. That pulsing electrical charge seemed to radiate from every part of her skin. The feel of it was highly arousing. Her long creamy legs were in plain sight. My fingers danced over her skin. I wanted to run my hands up and down her legs, but I forced myself to stop.
"I need to ask you something," she said.
I looked over to her. She was clutching the hem of the dress, her fingers clenching the fabric, turning her knuckles white.
"When I was at the location today, after Emmett showed me around, Rosalie Hale spoke to me."
What? Shit!
"What did she say?" I asked, panicked.
Bella looked uncomfortable. "She didn't say anything that really made sense to me, but she implied that she wanted something, and that she would do anything to get it. What does she want? Does she want you? Is that why she came to your hotel room that night?"
Bella's eyes glistened with tears. I moved to comfort her, but she pulled one of her legs out of my soft hold and thrust it against my chest to restrain me.
"Please, just tell me. The photograph's, the hatred she shows me, is it because she wants you?"
I gripped Bella's ankle and held her foot against my body. "No, she doesn't even like me. It's not me that she wants. She has some twisted bodyguard fantasy. She wants me to fire Emmett, so she can sink her teeth into him. I'm sorry you had to suffer that. She's just so...God, I'm so tired of her games."
"She wants Emmett? What does he think about that?"
I curled my hand around her foot and squeezed, pressing my thumb into her arch, slowly massaging.
"I haven't told him. He knows what she's like, he wouldn't be interested and it would be awkward." I said as touched her.
"I think you're wrong. I think he has feelings for her." Bella's voice was soft and when I looked up, she was biting her lip again as she stared at my hand. I watched as her eyes rolled back, her teeth let go of her lip and she tilted her head back. Her chest rose and fell. She was affected by my touch as much as I was affected by hers.
"Is that what she was talking about that night she barged into your room?" she asked in a breathy whisper.
"Yes. I told Rosalie I couldn't fire Emmett because I didn't hire him, the studio did. He's on a contract with them, not me. I told her I wouldn't help her get him. The fact that she even expects me to, makes me livid."
My eyes travelled over Bella's body to the shapely curve of her pale throat. I was so uncomfortably hard. I looked down to the floor to see the red shoes she'd worn earlier. My perverted mind flashed me images of Bella wearing them and nothing else.
I want her.
Both of my hands started massaging her foot then. I was no expert, but touching any part of her body was addictive. She wiggled her toes, so I started pulling at them. I had an overwhelming desire to kiss and lick her souls of her feet.
I didn't.
I was fast descending back into that thick, lustful fog. I needed to keep her talking to distract me.
"Who's Kate?" I asked. My voice sounded an octave lower. I was contemplating pushing her foot against my groin to show her what touching her did to my body.
"The night I went to Forks, the night Rosalie...Mike the concierge booked me into the B&B, which is the main house you would have walked through to get here."
Emmett had actually guided me through a side security gate and past a swimming pool to this secluded house. It was more contemporary than it looked from the outside. The main house I saw was two stories. That must be the Bed & Breakfast.
"I met Kate and her husband, Garrett. They're managing the place while the owners are away. Kate is Australian and Garrett works at the hotel restaurant. We became friends. She's so lovely, they both are." Bella sounded excited and happy when she mentioned Kate.
"Kate knows about you, I mean, she knows what I feel for you. She came to the club with me. She saw what happened to Bree as well. It was her idea to let us stay here, so we could...talk."
I stared at Bella, her head still tipped back. She flexed her hand and I watched as she ran her fingers down to her knee and back up.
Fuck this.
Instantly I was lifting her calf over my hip and sliding my body in between her legs on the sofa. She raised her head, panicked. I hovered over her.
I slid my hand over the creamy skin of the thigh and around to her ass. Pulling her towards me, lowering myself to her, on top of her.
"I want you."
I kissed her. When her hands grabbed my biceps and she kissed me back, I didn't restrain myself any longer. I pushed my hips forward and settled myself against the warmth between her legs. I scooped my arms underneath her shoulders and continued the soft, maddening torture of kissing her slowly, even though my body wanted to ravage. Being even this close to her still wasn't enough. I spoke while I continued to move my mouth over her cheek, her neck, and back to her lips.
"My life is in the public eye, but I don't want to share you with anyone, except our families and friends; I want you all to myself. I feel like I'm asking a lot. You'd need to give up a lot to be with me and I'm not giving up anything." I couldn't help but rock into her as she tugged on my hair gently.
"Let me into that brain of yours. Tell me exactly what you want, everything you want Bella; it's yours."
~0~
~~Bella~~
"I want you. I want to make love to you."
Telling Edward what I wanted felt right. It didn't feel like I was coercing him. I didn't think I'd ever need to throw myself at him to make him love me, and that was the distinct difference between Edward and my EX-boyfriend.
Edward kissed me passionately. His arms pulled me tighter and he rocked his hips. I could feel his desire for me. I felt relieved and elated that he was initiating it.
His hands were everywhere then. Groping, rubbing, he was moaning into my mouth as he kissed me. It was overwhelming and exhilarating.
"Yes, Edward." I breathed out, a long billowing sigh right into his face.
He's leading this! He wants me.
I let myself revel in it and I kissed Edward back with as much passion and love as I could physically express. I think I even whimpered at the intensity of my emotions.
My fingers pawed at his blue plaid shirt and I could feel my face flame at the recollection of our time at the cabin. My heart thundered in my chest.
I'm going to feel him, all of him. Merge our bodies and have him... inside. We have protection this time!
The fourteen-year-old girl inside me was giddy, elated and yet somewhat nervous.
I pushed her to the recesses of my crazy mind.
I'm a grown woman who is in love and my boyfriend and I are going to express that love intimately.
Edward, Edward, Edward.
"Do you want me to stop?"
What?
Edward had pulled away from me and was staring at me with a look of concern and flaring nostrils.
"No, I want you, please," I said desperately, clutching his shirt as he pulled back further. My confusion spiked.
"We don't have to. I don't want you to think I'm like...him. I want more than..."
No! What did I do to make him stop? Edward is comparing himself to Riley now?
"Please don't reject me again tonight. I can't take it!" I said with anguish.
"Bella, it's not rejection. We don't have to, right now. There's no rush."
It was like all my fears come to life. I wanted him to move us forward, and it felt like he wasn't going to. I had promised myself I would never throw myself at a man again, but his actions and what he was saying didn't marry. I was desperate for him. I thought he felt the same.
He said at the cabin that he wouldn't make love to me until I believed that he loved me!
"I love you. I know you love me. I feel it. We're not working together. The song is out of the equation, so your rule is obsolete. You said when we were at the cabin that you would make love to me when I believed how much you love me. I've made a mess trying to figure this all out. You said I own your soul? Well if I do, then you own mine. I love you. Please, Edward. Kiss me. Make love to me. I want to entwine myself in you."
~0~
~~Edward~~
It killed me.
My inability to take some responsibility and to posses even an ounce of forethought. My stupidity.
Why in the hell didn't I put one condom into my wallet? Like a normal guy?
Here I was trying to convince Bella that we are meant to be together, in every way and then I remember that the condoms I made Emmett buy me, were in my overnight bag, back in Bella's room at the hotel.
She thinks I'm rejecting her, again.
"I want you so badly, but I'm not prepared. I left the condoms in my overnight bag. I don't have any with me. I'm such a fucking idiot!"
Bella kissed me, even more voraciously and my body went slack with helplessness as I melted into her.
Before I could summon the strength to pull away completely, Bella's words sunk in.
"I brought your bag with me and I have condoms," she moaned and pulled me even closer to her. "Does that change your mind? Do you still want to wait?" she said with a shaky and lust-infused voice.
Jesus. "No, no waiting. I want you right now. I love you. Where the fuck is the bedroom?"
I was suddenly elated.
Bella loves me, wants to be with me and we have protection. We'd talked we'd cleared things up. There was nothing to stop us except...
Alice's dream. I haven't told her.
Did it matter? If someone told me that Bella wasn't my soul mate, that there was no way to prove such a thing even existed, would it change the way I feel about her?
No, it wouldn't.
I would have fallen in love with Bella regardless of Alice's premonition.
Once I make love to Bella, she'll feel everything I do. Alice's 'dream' would just be a funny story Bella and I would tell to our grandchildren one day.
I pushed one of my hands against the sofa seat and the other pulled Bella towards me as I backed up to get my feet on the floor to stand.
Every fiber of my being wanted her, fast and passionate. My body wanted to give in to this urgency.
I knew it wouldn't take me long to recover, I could love Bella perpetually all weekend. Suddenly three boxes of condoms didn't seem excessive.
When I was standing I slid my hands down to grab at the hem of her tight dress. I peeled it up over her hips and then reached to pull her up into my arms, like I had at the cabin. I could feel the heat of her through my jeans as she wrapped her bare legs around me. Our mutual breathlessness from frantically kissing had us both panting.
"Which way?" I grunted like a caveman.
"Endofthehall," Bella said as one word, then attached her lips back to mine.
I stumbled around the sofa, walking sideways so I could see where I was going.
The ache grew; the anticipation was animalistic and feverish.
Everything was pretty much a blissful blur until we were in the bedroom. I slowly lowered Bella's heavenly legs to the floor.
Both our bags were at our feet.
I briefly took in the room, smiling widely. It wasn't as rustic as the bedroom at the cabin, but it still had that homey feel that seemed cozier than the stark blandness of the hotel. There were glass doors opening to a water fountain and a light breeze blew in. The faintest awareness that I could hear Debussy playing made it even more sublime.
It was perfect.
I looked back to Bella and she was biting her bottom lip.
"You're perfect," I said without thinking.
Her eyes closed, her brow furrowed.
"Bella."
"Nobody's perfect." she said softly. "But we're perfect, together."
~0~
A/N: *silently wishes that I could read your minds* I'm not that talented…so maybe you can leave me a review to tell me what you're thinking and feeling? Luv BBxx
