Olivia was meeting Cragen at Halliwell's, one of their favourite haunts. Elliot had left about an hour ago and when she checked in with her Captain, he and the rest of the boys were still at the precinct. She had asked them to meet for dinner and specifically asked for Don to meet her earlier.
Getting her call and hearing her request made his heart sad knowing that a change was coming. He wondered if Olivia knew just how important she was to their pseudo family and that potentially what she has to tell him would shatter what's already cracked in their dynamics.
Showered, redressed and not a trace of what was exchanged with Elliot, Olivia made her way to Halliwell's. She wasn't altogether surprised that her Captain was there before their agreed meeting time. She could see that he was nursing a glass of soda water. She had a lot of respect for the man who had in years become a father figure to her. His opinion of her mattered and whilst she hardly ever admitted it, she wanted to make him proud. He stood to his feet as she approached and somewhat uncharacteristically he drew her into a hug, as if to tell her he knew what was coming.
"It's okay Cap't," she found herself trying to soothe him making Don chuckle,
"Platitudes before we start, you're not reassuring me Kid." Olivia smiled biting her lower lip,
"Truth of the matter is for all of our sanity's, Elliot and I cannot remain partners. Something's shifted. We've shifted. Everything seems to be more complicated than before. Like everything has a different meaning and we're walking on eggshells and trying not to detonate land mines. Maybe we've been headed down this hole for awhile. We're not exactly the most level headed people to be partnered together. It worked for awhile and now it feels like I'm more a catalyst than the person who used to be able to diffuse the bomb."
"So we're on the same page, Elliot is the bomb?" Don teased lightly making her laugh,
"Depends on the day, I can be the bomb too.
You would know that better than anyone."
"So what do you want to do?"
"I thought I would ease everyone into it, give you a month to find my replacement. I thought disappearing would be poor form. I owe you more than that. The guys deserve better than that and I don't want whatever this is to dictate my sudden move. The two weeks gave me time to just breathe and decide what's best for me and how to go about it. Unless you'd rather I just go,"
"Liv, if I thought it was the best thing for you, I'd boot you out the door. But I can see that you've thought about this and if this is how you want to handle it, I'll take your lead. Where will you go?" He asked,
"I was actually thinking of heading back to Hawaii and bumming out there for a bit. I spent most of my downtime time there and for the first time in a really long time, I felt like I could relax. Which you know is not in my vocabulary. Maybe do something different."
"Well you know you have a chunk of leave you haven't taken. If you want, do your one month and take the rest of your leave. Once you've exhausted that then you can decide what's next."
"If that's okay that would be great. I just didn't want to make it harder for you."
"Of course Liv. How did you want to handle the boys?"
"I thought I would give Finn and John a heads up, to give them time to warm to the idea. I also figure if I'm around they would be less hostile towards Elliot." Olivia sighed,
"It's not his fault Don. He's currently caught in a shit storm during a hurricane. Admittedly some of said shit storm was man made but you know, it is what it is. He's a family man to a fault, if you can even say that. He misses his kids. He feels like he has failed as a husband. That's a whole lot of guilt to contend with."
"And what are you collateral damage?" Olivia shrugged,
"Wouldn't be the first time right?"
"He loves you, you know that right?"
"I wouldn't go that far Cap't. He no doubt cares about me. But love, no. That's reserved for his family. His wife. His kids." Don knew she believe the words she uttered to him and it broke his heart.
"I may be his collateral damage, but I don't want anyone else to be mine. I just want to bow out as gracefully and peacefully as possible Don. I'm the one leaving so I want to leave it well. If that makes sense." Don drew her in his arms once more and dropped his lips to her head.
"We do not deserve you Kid. But I am sure glad to have you. Promise me you will keep in touch."
"Of course, you're family. You're my family. You, Finn, Munch," Olivia stopped, unable to say Elliot's name.
John and Finn joined them a little while later. The four of them had dinner together as Olivia gave them a heads up. As expected Finn was angry, John was disappointed. They understood her reasons, respected and supported them but they loved her enough to do as she asked them to. Olivia would be partnered off with Munch as Olivia wanted to get as much of their paperwork done as possible to help them. Changing partners would not be a surprise after her conversation with Elliot. She was sure he would be expecting her not to show up and flee, but she refused to do that. As much as she wanted to. He didn't get to take that away from her too. She'd work her month and say goodbye. The month will also give her time to close up her apartment and settle her affairs.
To say that Elliot was surprised to see her would be an understatement but it was also hard to miss the relief that flooded through him at the sight of her. She gave him a nod as a greeting and turned back to her paperwork.
"Finn, you're with Elliot. Dead body Central Park," Cragen called out from his office. Elliot looked at Olivia who just shrugged as if to say, "you're the one who wanted this". Elliot gave her a heartbreaking apologetic look before following Finn who was already on his way to the elevator.
"I'd like to point out that I got the best end of this deal," Munch stated as he leaned back on his chair somewhat triumphantly brining a smile out from Olivia.
"Back at ya Partner,"
For the days that followed that's how it rolled. Finn and Elliot were partnered together and out of respect for Liv Finn had kept his mouth shut. On his part Elliot had kept his promise to Olivia by keeping his head in the game and managing his anger. She was right, he made his bed and he had no right to take that out on anyone. There was a comfort in having her there even if she was not his partner. She brought a calm to each of them. Whilst she hasn't really engaged in conversation with him. She was never rude or dismissive. She politely steered conversation or ended them if it even veered a fraction to personal.
Her month came around fast and whilst she didn't mean to leave it for the last day, the week had been crazy and there was no time to tell him of her plans.
"Hey Stabler, we're heading out to dinner." She said picking up her jacket. Elliot looked up to meet her gaze. It wasn't lost on him that in the last few weeks she hadn't referred to him as anything but Stabler or Elliot.
"I sort of wanted to tell you something."
"I can't go to drinks. I have, I, I have an appointment to go to with Kathy."
"Oh sure, no problem."
"What did you want to tell me?"
"Nothing important. All good. Eh good luck with your appointment."
"Uh thanks," he said a little confused. Liv nodded trying to regroup internally. John, quite attuned to her dropped an arm around her shoulder,
"Hey kid, let me buy you a drink." Liv glanced at him gratefully and squeezed the hand that was draped over her shoulder.
"Take care Stabler," she said as she looked back at him one last time. Something in her voice set the alarm bells off on his inside. He watched as John dropped a kiss on her temple as she wrapped her arms around his waist and gave it a squeeze before they entered the elevator. Whilst he wanted to run after her his legs wouldn't move. The precinct was empty. Finn and Cragen had left earlier, no doubt holding a table to wherever they were having dinner. He had a few minutes before he had to run to meet Kathy, he ran his hand over his face.
After their talk in her apartment he didn't think she would be there on the Monday. He was relieved to see her and wondered what it would be like in the days to come. In typical Liv like fashion she was graceful. She kept it professional. She was never rude or openly held animosity towards him. She remained Liv but conscious to never engage him in the same way as she used to. She never lingered. She took her breaks out of the precinct. Usually she'd meet the girls for lunch or coffee. More often than not she would lunch with Munch, Finn or both. He'd caught her head out with Cragen a couple of times. He noted that she was never alone with him. Cragen, Finn and John subtly hovered protectively over her and surprisingly she allowed them to. Welcome it with relief almost. He had changed them and whilst it hurt to see where they were now. He knew it was his own doing. She had asked him point blank what he wanted. After everything, he still didn't say what she had hoped he would say. What he wanted to say.
Olivia looked around the dinner table her heart took in each and every person sitting at the table and what they meant to her. Finn, Munch, Casey, Melinda, Alex and Don. In all the years she never could have imagined how much each of them would mean to her and what their friendship would bring to her life. She was grateful. Whilst there was someone missing from the table, she had made her peace with it. She was ready for the new chapter of her life. Don placed a hand over hers and gave it a squeeze breaking her reverie. She looked up and met his gaze and smiled with a reassuring nod. She was fine.
Olivia had packed up her apartment and was staying overnight at a hotel before flying out the next day. They would be saying their goodbye's that night as Olivia had insisted on no airport goodbyes. Jo was meeting them for a quick drink after their dinner and she would be staying with her at the hotel and driving her to the airport the next day. As planned Jo met them at Olivia's hotel bar for late night drinks.
"You'll take care of him won't you Cap?" Olivia said softly as they sat alone whilst everyone went to get drinks and snacks.
"Of course Liv. You know I will."
"Don't let him do stupid things." She added,
"You and I know you're the only one with that super power," he answered with a scoff making her laugh,
"I never got to talk him. I never got to tell him goodbye. I was going to tell him on the way to dinner or before dinner but when he told me he couldn't come to dinner because he had an appointment he had to go to with Kathy, I didn't feel it was necessary." Like once again he didn't choose her, remained unsaid.
A couple of hours later, many drinks had they had called it a night. Tearfully the girls hugged, promising to keep in touch. Stoically John stood back awaiting his turn to hug her. Everything that needed to be said between than had already been said. They had spent most of her last month together and he became her confidant. As Finn hugged her she reminded him of his promise to get that he would be as good of a partner to Elliot as he was to Munch. That whatever their issues were, it was theirs alone. Finn nodded on reassurance. He would keep his word. She left Don for last, it seemed fitting.
"Thank you Don, for everything. For putting up with me. For believing in me. For caring about me the way you do. I never had a father, but I feel like the moment I walked into your life, you stepped into that role and I am so grateful."
"Kid, that goes both ways. You have been the daughter I never had. I will always be here for you. You call any time of day, you hear me."
"Yes Dad," she teased giving him once last hug and a kiss on the cheek. Jo looped at arm through hers as they watched her squad leave. The tears started streaming down her cheeks.
"What do you say you and I tackle the pint of rocky road ice cream I brought with me earlier and stashed in the hotel room freezer?" Olivia grinned,
"I say you're on."
With very little sleep Olivia and Jo had a leisurely paced Brunch before heading to the airport. With her life condensed into two suitcases, a backpack and a handbag. She was ready for her new adventure.
"You'll call the moment you get there,"
"Jo, it's Hawaii. I will still be in the United States. I'm not moving to Europe, though I had considered it. I'll be fine. I promise. But yes I will call when I get there. More than likely once I'm at the Airbnb."
"Okay fine!"
"Jo, do me a favour?"
"Of course,"
"Drop this off to Cragen for me," she said handing him a letter addressed to Elliot.
"Tell him he can decide when to give it to him. That I trust he will know when to give it to him." Jo laughed,
"No pressure Liv."
"Thank you for the rocky road and the tissues last night. And for taking me to the airport."
"Of course. What are friends for. Safe flight." Jo pulled her friend into a hug,
"I'll see you soon."
"Yeah, soon."
