Hermione arrived at Godric's Hollow just around midnight. The air was fresh…. Fresh enough to make her feel like a sex-machine! She walked towards the graveyard, shovel in hand. Before she could plunge the metal into the cold earth, a sixteen-headed-dragon with jagged horns and tiger heads burst from the sky! It let loose a mighty roar! It sounded a little like this, "BAAGEEEERAAAA!"
Hermione was not fazed by the mighty beast! She pulled out her wand and summoned a legion of Super-Troopers to aid her in the battle.
"Super-troopers! The oaths you have taken, fulfil them this day!" shouted Hermione as she waved her wand releasing the troopas to do battle. While the fight raged on, Hermione took to digging up the graves of James and Lilly Potter. Her shovel hit something hard. Without a moment to lose, Hermione reached down and dragged up the coffin with her bare hands. She was fucking strong like that WOO!
"Finally, I can collect thee bones and get out of here," said Hermione as she kicked open the coffin. Before she could cut off any of the bones from Harry's dead parents, the dragon along with the supper-troopers exploded in a furious blast of blue fire! Hermione looked around in search of whoever it was that killed the furious creatures. Whoever it was must have been very powerful. Only a level 70 Mage equipped with a Black Robe and who knew Flair and Ultima could have destroyed a beast that strong.
"I'm afraid I can't let you take those bones away," said a mysterious man from the darkness, "That dragon was part of the Bad-Dragon-Lad gang. They have a bar just up the road they like to raise a bunch of hell in. Now that you killed one of their members, the whole gang is going to come after this town. I can't let the dead be disturbed."
"I'm not entirely sure how the two are related," said Hermione.
"Foolish girl! The Bad-Dragon-Lads hate having the dead disturbed. If they come here and see that a body is missing some bones, they will burn this place to the ground! Now, leave this place before they arrive."
"I can't do that Mr. I'll just have to fight the entire Bad-Dragon-Lad gang because I'm not leaving here without any bones!" The old man laughed, it was a rough grizzly laugh that only an old man could have. The man was old.
"If you're planning on dying, then I will die with you. It is against my code to abandon a girl in need!" Hermione blushed, it had been many years since an old man called her a girl. Most of them just call her a witch.
The old man and Hermione made it to the old-man's house. It was a beat down shit hole of a bar. They only served Blue Moon so you knew only hipsters, red-necks or shit-heads drank there.
"We'll camp here for the night," said the old-man, "There's some guns in the back next to the poster of Donald Trump." The moment the old-man mentioned Donald Trump, it drove Hermione to grab a knife from the table and stab him 75 times in the chest. That was the worst mistake she could of made. The minute her attacks were finished, the man's body started to rip open. What came out of it was beyond anything Hermione could have imagined.
A rainbow Knight, like the one Ron warned her about, stepped out from the dead-man's body.
"Thank you for freeing me from my mortal prison! Soon, my brothers will come here and fuck this world up!" Hermione had no time to deal with the Knight's foolishness. She had to get ready for the Bad-Dragon-Lad gang.
Before she could react, the Knight shot a wave of green energy right at her breasts.
"Bitch!" shouted Hermione as she got blazed with the blast of the Knight's blast attack. I gotta tell you people, it wasn't lookin good for ole Hermione. The knight bared down upon her, his magic sword about to cut her to pieces. To make matters worse, the Bad-Dragon-Lad gang could be heard driving up to the bar with their shit-head bikes.
"The Bad-Dragon-Lad gang will soon be here!" shouted the Knight as he raised his sword to make the kill, "I will offer your body to them as a sex sacrifice! Noe, prepare to be-" before he could finish, a fireball shot out of no-where and killed the Knight. It killed him like a goddamn CHAMMP!
Hermione wasn't out of danger yet though! She still had to face the wrath of the deadly Bad-Dragon-Lad gang! She could hear them blasting out their Green Day tunes on their preppy Ipods as the bikes came even closer. Hermione stood tall like a mighty oak, prepared to kill the dragons and Green Day… Then again Green Day did a pretty good job of killing itself.
Before she could draw her wand, the entire gang burst into flames! Hermione stood and watched the sea of fire as the dragons screamed and roared in agony from the flames…. And then it was over.
"Who has such power?" said Hermione. She was quickly answered by an old man, not the one that just died but a different one, that came in through the window.
"I am proud to say that I'm the only candidate that does not have a Super PAC, and my campaign is funded entirely by contributors. AND let me tell you something else. The average contributing is 27 bucks!" said the old man. He then threw James Potter's corpse towards Hermione, who caught it in her sexy sexy hands.
"Thanks Senator Sanders!"
#feelthebern
Bernie Sanders 2016!
