Stages

*WARNING* This contains vivid imagery of serious events including a mass shooter situation. I have marked it under "T" because I believe it to be similar in a sense to the "Grey's Anatomy" episode which was rated "TV-14."

Stage 1: Denial

I awake to shimmering orange tones of the early morning light streaking into our bedroom. The sleeping lump of my husband was too peaceful to move. Skirting across the room, I avoid piles of clothes that were previously thrown about the room as visions of the night before filling my vision.

My period was six days late. My periods were not always the most consistent, but I picked up a test as I drove from the hospital. The three minutes of dead silence felt like hours as I contemplated what we had hoped for. I closed my eyes as if that would make the anxiety dissipate. I opened them to see a plus on the white stick.

I told Will last night after he got home. He too had a long day of work, but I knew that he too would be overjoyed with the news. We are having a baby.

Eventually, his sleeping form awoke, and we readied ourselves for the day. It might have taken us longer than usual, but someone could not keep his hands to himself.

He reminded me to drink plenty of water…conveniently forgetting that we had both been to school for the same amount of time. And I was perfectly aware of the importance of staying hydrated while pregnant.

"Will, I know what to do. While I may only be in Neuro, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Dr. Darcy." I said archly.

"While I know you can take care of yourself, I also know you happen to put your patients before yourself Dr. Bennet-Darcy. And besides, you are the most capable Neurosurgeon that the state can boast, so stop your teasing and get ready. Let's save some lives today!" He returned.

During morning rounds, I met with my patients who I would be operating on throughout the course of the day. Mrs. Frances Smith was concerned about her procedure. Mrs. Smith had Stage 4 Glioblastoma and was worried her odds were too low.

"Dr. Bennet-Darcy, I know you are a brilliant doctor" she started in her Deep Southern voice, "but I am worried that I won't make it through surgery."

Looking her in the eye, I conveyed the truth. "Mrs. Smith, I am here to give you your best chance. The tumor is at an easily reached portion of your Frontal Lobe. I am confident that I can do all that I can to prolong your life, without this surgery, you might have months left."

Contemplating for a moment, the patient continued, "So I can either risk it all today or say goodbye in a few months?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Do you fear death Doctor?" She asked as tears rimmed her eyes.

"No, I do not. I have done my best to help as many people as possible in my lifetime, and if I were to die today, I would have very few regrets." I obviously lied as I could not come out and say I was pregnant, especially to a patient. If I were to be taken from this world, my only hope would be that Will would find a way to move on and be happy.

How different we were from the first time we met.

I had just been offered the job as the Chief of Neurosurgery as Doctor Knightley had been offered a Researching Fellowship in Washington D.C. It was one of my earliest meetings with all the department chiefs as we discussed cases and other matters of business including the announcement of Dr. Lucas' retirement.

Dr. Lucas had been the Chief of Cardio here for nearly fifteen years. He was getting older and decided this was the time for him to move on. In addition to this announcement, The Board announced his replacement, Dr. William Darcy.

I had read about his work in several medical journals and was excited to work alongside him, but one sentence would always stay with me for the rest of my life. Dr. Darcy was speaking to Dr. Bingley Chief of Plastics.

"Dr. Darcy, it is nice to see you again. I haven't seen you since when," Bingley paused as if contemplating. "The end of our Residency? You are going to love it here. We have fantastic teams who push the boundaries in research and clinical trials."

"Yes, Dr. Bingley, I think the last time we saw each other was at the end of Residency. I am intrigued by what this hospital has to offer but was disappointed to discover that Dr. Knightley was moving to D.C. on a Researching Fellowship. When working with Neuro on cases, I prefer to work with the very best and not a set of hands that are simply tolerable."

A loud sound woke me from my stupor…

Two more sounded. There was no mistaking them.

Gunshots.

Pulling out my pager I read an alert which read "Code Purple."

Springing to action, I ordered my residents to lock the door and close the blinds. The shots did not sound close, but with the design of the hospital and the tendency for noise to echo, it could have come from anywhere. We needed to secure ourselves and our patient.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Smith's heart rate jumped. She began panicking.

"Dr. Bennet. I can't die today. If that is a shooter, what are we going to do?"

"Mrs. Smith…Mrs. Smith…Frances!" I said as quietly, but as firmly as I could muster. Looking into her frantic eyes, I declared "We are going to stay in here and be silent."

"He will find us and kill us all! I will leave my children with a mountain of debt and without being able to tell them that I love them." She began waving her arms in the air, for a moment she appeared as though she was seizing, luckily, she was not.

"Frances. I need you to breathe. Here, in and out. Just like this." I watched as her heart rate lowered on the monitor. We don't know what is happening and we are not jumping to conclusions. No matter what, we are staying put."

As I said this, my pager lit up again. There was a Code Blue two rooms down from here. The residents looked to me, knowing what I was about to do.

"Take care of Mrs. Smith. Keep her safe. I will page you once I have taken care of that patient alerting you that I am safe."

"Dr. Bennet-Darcy, we cannot let you leave. There is a shooter!" Dr. Lydia Jenkins spoke firmly.

"I told you there was a shooter! No one listens to me!" Mrs. Smith cried out.

"Dr. Jenkins, as your Attending, I am leaving. There is a patient who is not breathing and if I do not help, they could die. You are staying put. You are to protect yourselves and keep the patient safe. End of discussion."

The page repeated itself and I ran into the hall, checking the corners before I turned. I reached the room with a coding patient but found none…only a man who I had hoped never to see again.

"No! No! No!" I thought to myself. There stood George Wickham with a pager in his left hand with blood dripping off its side. In his right hand, held a compact handgun. His eyes no longer appeared welcoming as they had all that time ago, but now held pure unabiding hatred.

Nurse Wickham joined on a few months after Darcy did. He told his tale of woe to all who heard it. It seemed Dr. Darcy and Wickham both worked for the same hospital. Dr. Darcy immediately took a dislike to him and before Wickham could prove himself to anyone, Darcy had him fired on account of "insubordination." Wickham mentioned that Darcy was a lady's man and used his position of authority for nefarious purposes. That couldn't have been further from the truth.

His disgusting smile opened as he shed his killer persona off like a snake. The sight disgusted me. "Hello, Dr. Bennet."

...

Author's Note: Hey everybody, it's been a while. Some of you have been asking about me, I'm still here. I needed to take a break from this for a while. I am back and have several new projects in the works, I still haven't decided what to do with "An Odious Match" which was the first project I posted on this site. It currently remains unfinished. I know how I want the story to end, but I just don't know if I have the energy to bring it about. Especially given the fact that that is now several years old and with everything that happened along the way with that story I'm not even sure if I have the motivation anymore to complete it. Let me know what y'all think so far of "Stages", I know another angsty story by Camille…but in this case, it's just over 5,000 words..so at least it's not as long as some other things I've written.